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1
00:00:00,703 --> 00:00:02,921
Katie: The Westport Town & Country Club.
2
00:00:02,984 --> 00:00:06,195
Upside... it's completely free
if you live in the city limits.
3
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,347
Downside... no mom in this town
4
00:00:08,432 --> 00:00:10,416
has the decency to let herself go.
5
00:00:10,484 --> 00:00:13,652
Women over 25 who actually want
to be seen in a bathing suit.
6
00:00:13,738 --> 00:00:15,220
It's unnatural.
7
00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:16,672
God. It's so nice here.
8
00:00:16,757 --> 00:00:19,274
Said those kids the first time
they saw Neverland Ranch.
9
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:22,911
- What's that?
- Nothing. Mama's just being silly.
10
00:00:22,963 --> 00:00:25,297
Just don't befriend pop stars.
11
00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:27,733
Maybe Adele.
12
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:30,703
Okay, this is where I leave you, gang.
13
00:00:30,788 --> 00:00:33,138
Mom, please make Dad change
before you go.
14
00:00:33,224 --> 00:00:35,724
That shirt was out of style
when he bought it 20 years ago.
15
00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:37,603
Joke's on you. I didn't buy this shirt.
16
00:00:37,688 --> 00:00:39,470
It's a hand-me-down from my uncle.
17
00:00:39,547 --> 00:00:41,563
Ugh. There's Emma Conway.
18
00:00:41,599 --> 00:00:43,399
She's gonna make me
play doubles with her.
19
00:00:43,484 --> 00:00:44,450
She's terrible.
20
00:00:44,535 --> 00:00:46,035
Just tell her you don't want to.
21
00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,369
Yeah.
22
00:00:47,455 --> 00:00:49,471
Or I could hide in the bathroom all day.
23
00:00:49,523 --> 00:00:52,024
Honey, you have got to start
saying "no" to people.
24
00:00:52,109 --> 00:00:53,642
It's not so hard.
25
00:00:53,694 --> 00:00:55,244
Excuse me. Could you tell me
where the towels are?
26
00:00:55,296 --> 00:00:56,745
No!
27
00:00:56,831 --> 00:00:58,580
Actually, it's just right over there.
28
00:00:58,666 --> 00:01:00,683
I'm in the middle of a life lesson.
29
00:01:00,735 --> 00:01:02,317
I'll be in the clubhouse
30
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:03,986
schmoozing with the Wall Street guys
31
00:01:04,038 --> 00:01:06,922
so one day I can buy this place
and turn it private
32
00:01:07,007 --> 00:01:09,108
so people like us can't get in.
33
00:01:10,227 --> 00:01:12,194
Okay. Have fun. I'll miss you.
34
00:01:12,229 --> 00:01:14,663
You don't have to miss me.
I'm coming with you.
35
00:01:14,749 --> 00:01:15,864
Don't you want to go swimming?
36
00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:17,132
I'll live.
37
00:01:17,184 --> 00:01:19,385
Ah, but, honey, I was
gonna go home and watch shows
38
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,987
that are inappropriate
for a girl your age.
39
00:01:22,073 --> 00:01:23,872
Ah, screw it. You're an old soul.
40
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,508
You can watch TV-MA. Come on.
41
00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:29,712
42
00:01:29,764 --> 00:01:32,631
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:39,438
44
00:01:39,523 --> 00:01:41,807
Guess I don't need
my pool shoes anymore.
45
00:01:41,892 --> 00:01:43,859
Whoa! Honey!
46
00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,060
Your feet stink.
47
00:01:45,112 --> 00:01:47,646
[Sniffing] Whoa!
48
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:48,981
Are you showering?
49
00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:50,733
Yeah, with soap and everything.
50
00:01:50,785 --> 00:01:52,901
By any chance, would
"everything" be a dead seal?
51
00:01:54,071 --> 00:01:55,537
Hey! Are you guys just getting here?
52
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,122
No, we're on our way out.
53
00:01:57,208 --> 00:01:59,958
Oh, that's too bad, 'cause
Marigold and Anna-Kat could...
54
00:02:00,044 --> 00:02:01,126
What is that smell?
55
00:02:01,212 --> 00:02:02,377
It's, um...
56
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,379
No, no, no. You know
I like finding the smell.
57
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:05,380
[Sniffing]
58
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,416
[Sniffing]
59
00:02:10,254 --> 00:02:11,804
- Oh, my.
- Mm-hmm.
60
00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,090
I know. Now I'm gonna
have to tell everybody
61
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,341
I gave a goat a ride.
62
00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:17,843
Hi, Marigold.
63
00:02:17,928 --> 00:02:18,894
Hi, Mrs. Otto.
64
00:02:18,929 --> 00:02:19,978
Just call me Katie.
65
00:02:22,817 --> 00:02:24,016
Can't.
66
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:28,237
So, is Taylor inside the club?
Marigold loves Taylor.
67
00:02:28,272 --> 00:02:31,023
Doris, you cannot force Taylor
to babysit for you.
68
00:02:31,108 --> 00:02:34,109
I need a break.
I've been with her all day.
69
00:02:34,161 --> 00:02:35,861
It is 10:15.
70
00:02:35,946 --> 00:02:38,363
She's so boring.
71
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:41,083
Doris! Don't you have a nanny?
72
00:02:41,118 --> 00:02:42,951
Two, but they're taking care
of my other children.
73
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,186
How many nannies
do you want me to have?!
74
00:02:46,090 --> 00:02:48,257
Fine. I'll take care of her by myself.
75
00:02:48,292 --> 00:02:51,210
76
00:02:51,295 --> 00:02:54,129
[Water running]
77
00:02:54,181 --> 00:02:55,681
How's it going in there?
78
00:02:55,766 --> 00:02:57,816
Anna-Kat: Great.
No need to come in and check!
79
00:02:57,902 --> 00:02:59,485
Now I have to come in and check.
80
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,653
That's how I got caught
with pot in my flashlight.
81
00:03:01,739 --> 00:03:03,872
"No need to check if it works, Mom!"
82
00:03:05,309 --> 00:03:06,608
What are you doing?
83
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,160
You weren't supposed to come in.
84
00:03:08,245 --> 00:03:09,361
Why aren't you in the shower?
85
00:03:09,446 --> 00:03:10,412
I'm scared.
86
00:03:10,464 --> 00:03:12,264
- Of a shower?
- Of the water.
87
00:03:12,349 --> 00:03:15,067
Since when are you scared of water?
88
00:03:15,152 --> 00:03:16,935
- They sunk the unsinkable Slocum.
- [Water stops]
89
00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:18,921
A fire started in the Lamp Room.
90
00:03:18,956 --> 00:03:22,691
The lucky passengers drowned.
The rest burned to death.
91
00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:25,027
Anna-Kat...
92
00:03:25,062 --> 00:03:27,863
less reading, more video games.
93
00:03:27,948 --> 00:03:30,165
Titanic, the Lusitania...
94
00:03:30,201 --> 00:03:31,433
Water kills.
95
00:03:31,468 --> 00:03:33,435
Is that why you wanted
to leave the club?
96
00:03:33,521 --> 00:03:35,187
So you didn't have to go to the pool?
97
00:03:35,272 --> 00:03:38,574
Yes. And I'm not showering, either.
98
00:03:38,659 --> 00:03:41,560
Oh, baby. Don't be scared.
99
00:03:41,645 --> 00:03:43,395
We'll figure it out.
100
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,730
[Sniffs]
101
00:03:44,815 --> 00:03:47,833
Ohh! Soon.
102
00:03:47,918 --> 00:03:49,585
Real...
103
00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:51,270
real soon.
104
00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:54,523
105
00:03:54,575 --> 00:03:56,575
Dad, a word?
106
00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:59,428
In the clubhouse, I was talking
with Cooper, Tripp, and Weston.
107
00:03:59,463 --> 00:04:00,929
Man, do your friends sound white.
108
00:04:01,015 --> 00:04:03,999
Some of the guys were discussing
the best college golf programs.
109
00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:06,618
Your school came up.
I mentioned you taught there.
110
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,587
And the guys were really impressed.
111
00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:10,806
So you're coming to say you weren't
embarrassed by me for the first time ever?
112
00:04:10,858 --> 00:04:12,574
No. Don't misread the situation.
113
00:04:13,577 --> 00:04:15,127
It's about your jalape?o rating.
114
00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:16,628
My jalape?o rating? What's that?
115
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,347
It's a website students use to rank
116
00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:20,115
how attractive their professors are.
117
00:04:20,184 --> 00:04:21,817
Oh, okay.
118
00:04:21,869 --> 00:04:24,586
1.5. Is that out of 2?
119
00:04:24,622 --> 00:04:26,121
No, it's out of 5.
120
00:04:26,206 --> 00:04:28,390
When is anything ever out of 2?
121
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,524
Siskel and Ebert.
122
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,492
Who's that?
123
00:04:30,527 --> 00:04:33,879
Two guys. Both dead. Forget it.
124
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:38,233
1.5 jalape?os, huh?
125
00:04:38,269 --> 00:04:39,902
Yeah, but who's really
gonna see this thing?
126
00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:42,838
It's only limited to everyone
who has the Internet.
127
00:04:42,873 --> 00:04:46,358
All you had to say was "lots of people."
128
00:04:47,478 --> 00:04:49,945
There you are, Taylor.
I need you to watch Marigold.
129
00:04:49,997 --> 00:04:51,330
What? No. I'm supposed to play tennis.
130
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:52,748
Are you back-talking me?
131
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,216
What?! N-No. I-I just...
132
00:04:54,268 --> 00:04:55,995
Great. Then we're agreed.
See you at 6:00.
133
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:57,152
Don't forget to feed her.
134
00:04:59,373 --> 00:05:03,208
I'm allergic to lots of stuff,
but I don't remember what.
135
00:05:03,294 --> 00:05:05,060
[Sighs]
136
00:05:06,397 --> 00:05:10,065
"Professor Otto looks like
a beige sweater came to life
137
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:12,618
and then threw up
another beige sweater."
138
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,252
Ouch.
139
00:05:14,338 --> 00:05:15,504
I just spoke to Dr. Ellie.
140
00:05:15,589 --> 00:05:17,973
- Oh.
- She said exposure therapy
141
00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:21,443
is the best way to get Anna-Kat
over her fear of water.
142
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,578
What if we just pour
a splash of water on her face
143
00:05:23,631 --> 00:05:25,964
over and over until
she's not scared anymore?
144
00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:28,717
That's called waterboarding, so no.
145
00:05:28,769 --> 00:05:30,319
Why don't you just take her to the pool?
146
00:05:30,354 --> 00:05:31,520
She's always loved it there.
147
00:05:31,572 --> 00:05:33,288
Just take her hand
and slowly walk her in.
148
00:05:33,324 --> 00:05:36,341
Or your hands. You have hands.
149
00:05:36,427 --> 00:05:38,727
She's not gonna do it with me.
You're her favorite.
150
00:05:38,762 --> 00:05:39,928
Ah, I've always known it,
151
00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:41,430
but it feels so good
to hear someone else say it.
152
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,898
Well, I'm glad someone is feeling good.
153
00:05:42,983 --> 00:05:45,000
Do you want to hear what my
students are writing about me?
154
00:05:45,035 --> 00:05:47,085
"What is with his sweaters?
155
00:05:47,171 --> 00:05:50,022
Does he herd sheep
during his office hours?"
156
00:05:50,107 --> 00:05:52,774
Oh, Greg, get over
your jalape?o thing already.
157
00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:54,276
Get over it?
158
00:05:54,328 --> 00:05:56,862
That's not what you're
supposed to tell me.
159
00:05:56,947 --> 00:05:59,297
Whenever you're feeling
insecure, I always boost you up.
160
00:05:59,383 --> 00:06:01,083
But you like doing that.
161
00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:04,219
For me, it is a lot of work
and it doesn't come naturally.
162
00:06:04,254 --> 00:06:05,554
Fine.
163
00:06:05,639 --> 00:06:07,439
But will you please just
take our daughter to the pool
164
00:06:07,524 --> 00:06:09,024
and help her get over her fear of water?
165
00:06:09,109 --> 00:06:10,375
[Sighs]
166
00:06:10,461 --> 00:06:11,877
I can't.
167
00:06:11,962 --> 00:06:12,711
Why not?
168
00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:14,212
Don't get me wrong.
169
00:06:14,298 --> 00:06:16,598
I am comfortable with who I am.
170
00:06:16,633 --> 00:06:18,633
I am comfortable
with the way that I look.
171
00:06:18,686 --> 00:06:19,851
Except...
172
00:06:19,937 --> 00:06:20,986
Except what?
173
00:06:21,071 --> 00:06:22,437
[Sighs]
174
00:06:22,523 --> 00:06:24,823
Except when I am in that bathing suit
175
00:06:24,908 --> 00:06:28,377
around those stupid women
at that stupid pool.
176
00:06:28,412 --> 00:06:30,829
Oh, honey.
177
00:06:32,966 --> 00:06:35,517
You have nothing to be
self-conscious about.
178
00:06:35,552 --> 00:06:37,552
You're more beautiful
than any of those women.
179
00:06:37,604 --> 00:06:39,354
Incidentally, this is
how you buck someone up.
180
00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,473
And you can't let them get in your head.
181
00:06:41,558 --> 00:06:44,276
You're right. I'm being silly.
182
00:06:44,361 --> 00:06:48,697
For you and for our smelly
child, I'll get over it.
183
00:06:54,204 --> 00:06:55,787
[Exhales deeply]
184
00:06:55,873 --> 00:07:00,659
185
00:07:00,744 --> 00:07:05,580
Do you really want to hurt me?
186
00:07:05,632 --> 00:07:10,836
Do you really want to make me cry?
187
00:07:14,721 --> 00:07:16,814
Are you ready to make water
your friend again?
188
00:07:16,862 --> 00:07:20,263
You sure this is the right thing
to do? Dr. Ellie's divorced.
189
00:07:20,299 --> 00:07:22,132
She doesn't get everything right.
190
00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:25,318
Mommy's gonna be with you
every step of the way.
191
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:27,154
There you are, Taylor.
192
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,822
Marigold has not stopped talking
193
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,724
about how much fun she had
with you yesterday.
194
00:07:30,809 --> 00:07:33,326
Yeah? Did she tell you that
as a knock-knock joke?
195
00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:34,978
Guess how many I heard yesterday.
196
00:07:35,047 --> 00:07:36,930
Knock-knock! 6,000.
197
00:07:37,015 --> 00:07:38,682
That sounds like Marigold.
198
00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:39,850
- So, I was thinking...
- I gotta go.
199
00:07:39,902 --> 00:07:42,035
Marigold, look.
Taylor's playing tag with you.
200
00:07:42,121 --> 00:07:44,371
And you're it. Go get her.
201
00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:46,006
I never thought I would say this,
202
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,225
but I love how you're taking
advantage of my daughter.
203
00:07:48,277 --> 00:07:50,377
Taylor really needs to learn
to stand up for herself.
204
00:07:50,462 --> 00:07:52,162
I know. She's a bully's dream.
205
00:07:52,231 --> 00:07:53,597
- Mm-hmm.
- And pretty, too.
206
00:07:53,649 --> 00:07:56,867
It always feel better
to break the hot ones.
207
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,668
208
00:08:03,492 --> 00:08:05,942
Tommy Bahama is never the answer, Dad.
209
00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:07,461
It's 90% silk.
210
00:08:07,546 --> 00:08:09,613
And it's sweet you think
that's a good thing.
211
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,265
I have a plan to help you
with your jalape?o rating.
212
00:08:12,334 --> 00:08:14,117
It's vests.
213
00:08:14,169 --> 00:08:15,802
It's not vests.
214
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,771
Come on.
215
00:08:17,856 --> 00:08:20,557
[Sighs] Here we are.
216
00:08:20,642 --> 00:08:23,493
The water won't kill you.
I won't let it.
217
00:08:23,579 --> 00:08:26,129
That's what they said about
the passengers on the Slocum
218
00:08:26,181 --> 00:08:27,314
right before they found out
219
00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,616
their life jackets
were filled with sawdust.
220
00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:31,201
They filled them with sawdust?
221
00:08:31,286 --> 00:08:33,086
And metal. To save money.
222
00:08:33,172 --> 00:08:35,939
Oh, God. Why couldn't you just
read Berenstain Bears?
223
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,440
All right.
224
00:08:37,493 --> 00:08:40,076
Just a toe. Here we go.
225
00:08:43,048 --> 00:08:45,265
See? Not so bad.
226
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:46,900
Not so bad.
227
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,652
Now just a little bit more.
228
00:08:48,704 --> 00:08:50,537
[Splashing]
229
00:08:50,622 --> 00:08:52,455
[Gasps] Still not dead!
230
00:08:52,541 --> 00:08:55,642
One more step.
231
00:08:55,727 --> 00:08:59,196
I think I can go all the way in,
if you come with me.
232
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:02,132
All right.
233
00:09:02,184 --> 00:09:05,218
Dear, sweet, forgiving cover-up,
234
00:09:05,304 --> 00:09:07,871
I'm afraid this is where
we say "goodbye."
235
00:09:07,906 --> 00:09:10,423
Katie? Katie Otto?
236
00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:12,375
We never see you in the pool.
237
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,668
[Laughs]
238
00:09:14,797 --> 00:09:17,514
Oh, God. Look at them.
239
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,866
They've never eaten a
French-toast stick in their life.
240
00:09:19,952 --> 00:09:23,720
Why don't you go in first
and show me how fun it is?
241
00:09:23,756 --> 00:09:25,856
No! I'm only doing it with you.
242
00:09:25,891 --> 00:09:27,491
Come on, Katie.
243
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,076
Why are you letting these
skinny idiots psych you out?
244
00:09:30,162 --> 00:09:32,379
Just take the stupid cover-up off
245
00:09:32,464 --> 00:09:34,131
and get your well-rounded ass
in the pool!
246
00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:36,483
[Watch chimes]
247
00:09:36,568 --> 00:09:39,069
Nope! Maybe tomorrow.
248
00:09:39,104 --> 00:09:41,705
Katie: My cover-up
got right to the point
249
00:09:41,757 --> 00:09:43,340
where my thighs meet,
and then I chickened out.
250
00:09:43,392 --> 00:09:45,609
I'm mad at myself for
letting Anna-Kat down
251
00:09:45,644 --> 00:09:48,028
but even madder for letting those
clavicle moms get in my head.
252
00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:49,246
Clavicle moms?
253
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:51,715
This... is supposed to
be covered in meat!
254
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:52,966
Okay.
255
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,051
Well, getting into your head
is what those women do.
256
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,486
They hate being in their own heads.
257
00:09:56,572 --> 00:09:57,904
It's all Botox and daddy issues.
258
00:09:57,990 --> 00:10:01,308
Mm. They convinced me to use
organic makeup last summer. Dumb.
259
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:05,136
And I want to get in the pool.
I love being in the pool.
260
00:10:05,222 --> 00:10:06,696
But it's the unveiling.
261
00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:08,070
- Ugh.
- Ugh. It's the worst!
262
00:10:08,148 --> 00:10:08,999
Totally.
263
00:10:09,051 --> 00:10:10,517
Mnh-mnh. Don't try to get in on this.
264
00:10:10,602 --> 00:10:11,935
You two weigh less than my left boob.
265
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,186
[Both laugh]
266
00:10:13,272 --> 00:10:15,071
And it's the walk to the pool
that I hate.
267
00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:16,673
You're in nothing but a swimsuit,
268
00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:18,758
and everyone is watching
every jiggle and shake.
269
00:10:18,844 --> 00:10:20,310
- Hmm.
- [Smacks lips]
270
00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:22,028
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just being crazy.
271
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,749
Uh, you're not being crazy.
They're totally judging you.
272
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,133
- [Groans]
- It makes them feel better
273
00:10:27,219 --> 00:10:28,885
- about their meaningless life choices.
- Mm-hmm.
274
00:10:28,971 --> 00:10:31,521
The point is, you just got
to sack up and get past it
275
00:10:31,573 --> 00:10:35,242
because Anna-Kat's stink is
starting to become your stink.
276
00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:37,260
Oh, yeah.
277
00:10:37,329 --> 00:10:39,412
That's what that is.
278
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,466
[Hangers rattling]
279
00:10:46,488 --> 00:10:47,487
Anything?
280
00:10:47,573 --> 00:10:50,457
It's worse than I expected. Total loss.
281
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:53,059
Everything is too conservative
and out-of-date.
282
00:10:53,145 --> 00:10:54,177
What about the turtlenecks?
283
00:10:54,229 --> 00:10:55,695
Oh, Dad.
284
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,330
Under a suit coat, they look sharp.
285
00:10:57,416 --> 00:11:01,551
Do you want 1.5 jalape?os for
the rest of your life? Do you?!
286
00:11:01,637 --> 00:11:02,936
[Softly] No.
287
00:11:03,021 --> 00:11:05,488
Okay. Good.
288
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,123
Sorry I had to raise my voice.
289
00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:11,761
Look at my outfit. Nice, right?
290
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:14,281
Keep in mind we're working
with the same budget.
291
00:11:14,366 --> 00:11:15,699
That's true. How do you do it?
292
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,786
All you need is one piece
of good clothing
293
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:18,952
to build an outfit around.
294
00:11:19,037 --> 00:11:20,303
You mean like...
295
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:22,772
...this?
296
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,608
Stop!
297
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,725
Listen.
298
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,827
If you have a Picasso
hanging on your wall,
299
00:11:27,913 --> 00:11:30,830
everyone just assumes the rest
of the art is equally priceless.
300
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,632
- Huh.
- See?
301
00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:34,384
I got this expensive shirt,
302
00:11:34,469 --> 00:11:38,121
which offsets these outlet pants
and discount-bin sneakers.
303
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:41,458
You're right. That shirt
makes the whole outfit sing.
304
00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:44,060
I took the liberty of using
a generous gift card
305
00:11:44,096 --> 00:11:46,112
from a birthday-party swag bag
306
00:11:46,198 --> 00:11:48,531
and bought you...
307
00:11:48,617 --> 00:11:51,134
- [Unzips]
- ...this.
308
00:11:51,186 --> 00:11:53,270
Oh, Oliver, thank you,
309
00:11:53,355 --> 00:11:55,188
but I really can't pull that off.
310
00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:57,207
Uh, I think you're gonna
have to return it.
311
00:11:57,242 --> 00:11:58,875
- No.
- No?
312
00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:01,695
No. You are wearing this jacket.
313
00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:03,947
You are going to turn around
your jalape?o rating...
314
00:12:04,032 --> 00:12:05,999
or else I am going to the kitchen
315
00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:07,751
to eat your good almonds.
316
00:12:07,836 --> 00:12:09,769
No!
317
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,771
318
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:15,325
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- No.
319
00:12:15,377 --> 00:12:18,211
- How do you do that?
- What?
320
00:12:18,297 --> 00:12:19,679
Say "no" to people like that.
321
00:12:19,765 --> 00:12:22,265
Doris is totally gonna stick me
with Marigold again.
322
00:12:22,301 --> 00:12:24,017
Teach me how to be a jerk like you.
323
00:12:24,102 --> 00:12:26,152
First of all, I'm not a jerk.
324
00:12:26,238 --> 00:12:27,954
I'm more like a lovable scamp.
325
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,407
Second, see this thing right here?
326
00:12:30,492 --> 00:12:32,375
Yeah. Talk to that.
327
00:12:32,427 --> 00:12:34,844
It appears you're looking in
their eyes, but you're not,
328
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,130
so you can't tell if they're
hurt or mad or anything.
329
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,765
You just say whatever you want.
330
00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:39,849
And that works?
331
00:12:39,935 --> 00:12:41,768
[Sighs] With everyone but Mom.
332
00:12:41,853 --> 00:12:43,403
She's the only person in the world
333
00:12:43,488 --> 00:12:45,839
who cares less about
people's feelings than I do.
334
00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:48,591
335
00:12:48,627 --> 00:12:51,561
Ooh! Garment bag. Fancy.
336
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,480
Yeah. Oliver used some gift card
to buy me a jacket.
337
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,565
I think he's trying to
improve my jalape?o score.
338
00:12:55,617 --> 00:12:57,567
- Let me see it.
- Yeah, here.
339
00:12:57,619 --> 00:12:59,536
[Unzips]
340
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,338
[Gasps] Whoa!
341
00:13:01,373 --> 00:13:03,673
It's like Ryan Gosling, but a jacket.
342
00:13:03,759 --> 00:13:05,058
I know, right?
343
00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:08,111
But... I can't wear it.
It's really not my style.
344
00:13:08,146 --> 00:13:09,446
What do you mean?
345
00:13:09,481 --> 00:13:11,781
Because it's not the color
and texture of twigs?
346
00:13:11,867 --> 00:13:14,000
- Hey!
- Get over yourself and put it on.
347
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,619
- Hmm.
- Mom! We have a problem.
348
00:13:16,705 --> 00:13:19,456
I tried to comb Anna-Kat's hair,
and the brush got stuck.
349
00:13:21,293 --> 00:13:22,892
Her hair is all matted.
350
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,644
You didn't take her to the pool.
351
00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:25,478
I'm going to.
352
00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:26,946
She's growing dreadlocks!
353
00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:28,615
People will think
we're neglectful parents
354
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,483
or, worse, that we want our kids
to have dreadlocks!
355
00:13:30,569 --> 00:13:32,952
Tomorrow, I'll take her to
the community pool in Norwalk.
356
00:13:33,038 --> 00:13:34,981
For 5 bucks, you can
use the pool all day.
357
00:13:35,051 --> 00:13:36,456
Yeah, and they throw in
pinkeye for free.
358
00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:37,707
Why are you being like that?
359
00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:39,426
Because I'm supposed to get over
wearing this jacket,
360
00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:40,927
but you can't get over
wearing a bathing suit
361
00:13:41,013 --> 00:13:42,345
to help our daughter de-stank?
362
00:13:42,381 --> 00:13:44,047
[Scoffs] She's not that dirty.
363
00:13:44,099 --> 00:13:46,850
I don't even remember eating rice.
364
00:13:47,936 --> 00:13:49,719
Oliver: Look at this.
365
00:13:49,771 --> 00:13:52,389
Look at what this family has become.
366
00:13:52,441 --> 00:13:54,057
You're all going to the pool tomorrow.
367
00:13:54,109 --> 00:13:55,392
You're wearing that jacket.
368
00:13:55,477 --> 00:13:58,945
You're wearing that bathing suit
so she gets in that pool!
369
00:13:59,031 --> 00:14:00,697
And you want me to
stand up to Doris, right?
370
00:14:00,732 --> 00:14:03,233
I don't care what you do.
But the rest of you,
371
00:14:03,318 --> 00:14:06,403
I'm trying to make connections,
secure internships,
372
00:14:06,488 --> 00:14:09,239
and you're pulling me down
like three crazy anchors.
373
00:14:09,324 --> 00:14:11,791
Just like Lena Ackerman
was pulled down with the Slocum
374
00:14:11,877 --> 00:14:14,411
when the water of the East River
claimed her as its own.
375
00:14:14,496 --> 00:14:17,497
Okay. Enough of that.
Tomorrow, we go in the pool.
376
00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:20,583
And, by the way,
you're not so normal, either.
377
00:14:20,635 --> 00:14:22,506
When you were 7 years old,
378
00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:24,421
you were obsessed with seeing me naked.
379
00:14:24,457 --> 00:14:28,042
380
00:14:31,118 --> 00:14:34,881
Today, we are showing this club
what the Ottos are made of.
381
00:14:34,905 --> 00:14:37,189
382
00:14:39,914 --> 00:14:43,133
Whenever we're walking
as a group like this,
383
00:14:43,211 --> 00:14:45,512
I like to imagine
we're doing it in slo-mo.
384
00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:47,557
I think we look really cool,
385
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:49,048
but other people probably just think,
386
00:14:49,084 --> 00:14:51,851
"Man, they sure bring
a lot of crap to the pool."
387
00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:56,389
Okay, we'll see you at the pool.
388
00:14:58,777 --> 00:15:01,244
All right, Taylor.
Looks like you're up first.
389
00:15:01,313 --> 00:15:04,899
There will be people like Doris
out there your entire life.
390
00:15:04,969 --> 00:15:07,750
- Don't worry, Mom. I got this down.
- Hey, guys!
391
00:15:07,836 --> 00:15:09,802
Hi, Doris. Marigold.
392
00:15:09,854 --> 00:15:12,639
So, Marigold had such
a great time with you,
393
00:15:12,691 --> 00:15:15,408
we were thinking a sleepover
may be in order for you gals!
394
00:15:15,493 --> 00:15:16,626
Uh-huh.
395
00:15:16,711 --> 00:15:19,095
Uh, you can gossip,
she can braid your hair.
396
00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:20,380
But don't braid her hair.
397
00:15:20,432 --> 00:15:21,597
[Muffled] And apply
her ointment at 6:00.
398
00:15:21,683 --> 00:15:23,182
And here's her overnight bag...
399
00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:24,317
No.
400
00:15:24,402 --> 00:15:25,618
[Normal voice] Excuse me?
401
00:15:25,654 --> 00:15:27,453
You can't keep bullying me
into babysitting your kid!
402
00:15:27,505 --> 00:15:28,955
But you're best friends.
403
00:15:29,007 --> 00:15:31,591
No, we're not. She's like
7 years younger than me.
404
00:15:31,643 --> 00:15:34,527
- Technically, I could be her mother.
- That's just not true.
405
00:15:34,562 --> 00:15:35,862
- But you said...
- No buts!
406
00:15:35,947 --> 00:15:37,714
You birthed her, you play with her!
407
00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:39,332
And a lip wax wouldn't kill you.
408
00:15:39,384 --> 00:15:40,600
- [Gasps]
- All right. All right.
409
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:41,968
Let's just go ahead and break it up.
410
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:43,302
Marigold, you come with me.
411
00:15:43,388 --> 00:15:46,105
I don't want you hanging around
with her anymore.
412
00:15:46,157 --> 00:15:49,575
Wow! Honey! You did it!
413
00:15:49,627 --> 00:15:51,577
And you also just made
a very powerful enemy.
414
00:15:51,629 --> 00:15:54,147
I don't care. I love the new me.
415
00:15:54,182 --> 00:15:57,400
I'm gonna tell Emma's under-nose
that she sucks at tennis.
416
00:15:59,237 --> 00:16:00,870
I don't think I can do this.
417
00:16:00,955 --> 00:16:02,138
Come on.
418
00:16:05,143 --> 00:16:07,226
The only jackets I've ever worn
have been part of a suit
419
00:16:07,298 --> 00:16:08,397
or a classic blue blazer.
420
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,997
Without matching slacks,
this feels... unsafe.
421
00:16:12,283 --> 00:16:13,883
Let me tell you a story.
422
00:16:13,968 --> 00:16:16,586
You remember when we first moved
to Westport,
423
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,421
and I was going through that...
424
00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:20,007
[Whispers] ...Harry Potter phase?
425
00:16:20,092 --> 00:16:22,625
I remember a lot of robes
getting caught in car doors.
426
00:16:22,711 --> 00:16:24,744
Then Mom bought me
that pair of red pants.
427
00:16:24,796 --> 00:16:26,846
I felt like a complete idiot
wearing them.
428
00:16:26,881 --> 00:16:29,232
And yet you had no problem wearing
the Sorting Hat to school.
429
00:16:29,317 --> 00:16:32,452
The point is, look at me now.
The pants worked.
430
00:16:32,487 --> 00:16:34,787
Now you go make that jacket work.
431
00:16:34,823 --> 00:16:35,988
Thanks, Dad.
432
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,623
I wanna see your peacock
433
00:16:37,709 --> 00:16:40,593
Are you brave enough
to let me see your peacock?
434
00:16:40,645 --> 00:16:41,928
What you waiting for?
435
00:16:42,013 --> 00:16:43,980
It's time for you to show it off
436
00:16:44,065 --> 00:16:47,333
Don't be a shy kinda guy,
I'll bet it's beautiful
437
00:16:47,419 --> 00:16:50,720
Come on, baby, let me see
what you hidin' underneath
438
00:16:50,805 --> 00:16:52,054
Peacock, eh-oh
439
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:54,023
Oh, oh, oh-eh-oh
440
00:16:54,109 --> 00:16:56,075
Did you see me?! I crushed it!
441
00:16:56,161 --> 00:16:58,077
I went out there, and heads turned.
442
00:16:58,129 --> 00:17:00,346
You did great. Place is abuzz.
443
00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:02,765
[Beeping]
444
00:17:03,685 --> 00:17:05,535
Don't look back. Play it cool.
445
00:17:06,704 --> 00:17:09,288
Crushed it.
446
00:17:09,374 --> 00:17:10,506
Here's the plan.
447
00:17:10,592 --> 00:17:14,227
We are going to get in
and get over ourselves.
448
00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:16,362
Okay.
449
00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:21,884
[Indistinct conversations]
450
00:17:23,021 --> 00:17:24,137
Coast is clear.
451
00:17:24,222 --> 00:17:28,074
452
00:17:28,159 --> 00:17:29,575
[Whistle blows]
453
00:17:29,627 --> 00:17:31,677
Everyone's got to shower!
454
00:17:31,713 --> 00:17:33,045
What?!
455
00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:35,648
Everyone has to shower
before getting in the pool.
456
00:17:36,651 --> 00:17:38,100
Well, that's stupid!
457
00:17:40,121 --> 00:17:42,822
[Dramatic music plays]
458
00:17:42,874 --> 00:17:45,158
If Taylor can stand up to Doris
459
00:17:45,243 --> 00:17:46,826
and Greg can wear that ridiculous jacket
460
00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:48,744
that I'm pretending he can pull off,
461
00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:50,396
then I can do this.
462
00:17:50,431 --> 00:17:52,265
I've got nothing to be ashamed of.
463
00:17:52,317 --> 00:17:54,066
But if I'm being totally honest,
464
00:17:54,102 --> 00:17:56,569
I'm a little ashamed
of Greg in that jacket.
465
00:17:56,621 --> 00:18:00,206
Okay, honey, we're gonna
do this together.
466
00:18:00,291 --> 00:18:02,258
Together.
467
00:18:02,343 --> 00:18:04,393
468
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,446
I don't think I can do it.
469
00:18:23,531 --> 00:18:27,450
Baby, we've come all this way.
We're not giving up now.
470
00:18:27,535 --> 00:18:31,170
If I don't jump in right now,
I don't think I ever will.
471
00:18:31,222 --> 00:18:33,339
[Sighs] Screw it.
472
00:18:34,642 --> 00:18:38,895
One, two, three!
473
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:42,031
Ohh
474
00:18:42,116 --> 00:18:46,569
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
475
00:18:46,638 --> 00:18:47,587
Oh-oh-oh-oh
476
00:18:47,639 --> 00:18:49,005
Hey!
477
00:18:49,090 --> 00:18:51,314
- We did it!
- We did it!
478
00:18:51,384 --> 00:18:52,391
[Laughing]
479
00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:54,026
You're a rock star!
480
00:18:54,112 --> 00:18:56,329
[Whistle blows]
481
00:18:56,364 --> 00:18:59,031
- [Both laughing]
- Why was I avoiding this?
482
00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:02,084
It feels so good, swimming
with my favorite child,
483
00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:04,637
laughing, not worried
about what anyone thinks.
484
00:19:04,672 --> 00:19:06,088
I got worked up for nothing.
485
00:19:06,174 --> 00:19:07,807
[Whistle blows]
486
00:19:07,859 --> 00:19:08,975
You are banned from the pool!
487
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,611
You are 16 years old! Shut up!
488
00:19:11,646 --> 00:19:15,498
489
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:19,118
I mean, who are they to judge me?
490
00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:21,370
Nobody should judge anyone.
491
00:19:21,456 --> 00:19:24,857
Plus, my face is
so much better than theirs.
492
00:19:24,926 --> 00:19:28,694
Oh-oh-oh
493
00:19:31,766 --> 00:19:34,650
Honey, I am so proud of you
for getting in the water!
494
00:19:34,736 --> 00:19:36,519
Thanks, Mama. I'm glad I did it.
495
00:19:36,604 --> 00:19:38,404
I was really starting
to stink this morning.
496
00:19:38,439 --> 00:19:40,656
Yeah. We went from B.O. to petting zoo.
497
00:19:40,742 --> 00:19:42,858
I'm going to go take a shower.
498
00:19:42,944 --> 00:19:45,661
Great. But first,
run these down to the wash.
499
00:19:45,747 --> 00:19:47,280
You mean in the basement?
500
00:19:47,365 --> 00:19:49,999
Yeah. That's where
the washing machine is.
501
00:19:50,084 --> 00:19:52,752
I can't down there!
The basement is underground!
502
00:19:52,787 --> 00:19:55,371
I could end up buried alive
like those Chilean miners!
503
00:19:55,456 --> 00:19:58,257
33 men trapped for over 2 months.
504
00:19:58,293 --> 00:20:00,509
They barely escaped with their lives!
505
00:20:00,595 --> 00:20:02,545
How do you know about that?
506
00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:04,297
I read it in my new book,
507
00:20:04,349 --> 00:20:06,966
"Trapped Below: Death in the Darkness."
508
00:20:08,136 --> 00:20:09,435
Greg!
509
00:20:09,470 --> 00:20:13,139
I handled the water issue.
This one's all you!
510
00:20:15,829 --> 00:20:18,782
Okay. Let's say goodbye to that 1.5.
511
00:20:18,853 --> 00:20:20,119
Show me what you got!
512
00:20:20,221 --> 00:20:21,387
Give me pouty.
513
00:20:21,489 --> 00:20:24,056
[Camera shutter clicking]
514
00:20:24,158 --> 00:20:25,257
Give me strong.
515
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,426
[Camera shutter clicking]
516
00:20:27,528 --> 00:20:28,427
Give me sexy.
517
00:20:28,529 --> 00:20:31,130
[Camera shutter clicking]
518
00:20:31,232 --> 00:20:32,731
Back to strong! Back to strong!
519
00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:35,267
[Camera shutter clicks]
520
00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:37,236
[Beep]
521
00:20:39,073 --> 00:20:41,106
All right! I'm back!
522
00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:42,141
Shh!
523
00:20:42,243 --> 00:20:44,410
- I g...
- Shh!
524
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:49,010
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