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1
00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,454
Sorry y'all, but I do
have a very stellar hand.
2
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:07,473
I will call. That's
one, two, three...
3
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:10,576
You cannot bet... those are
blue corn chips, they're $5 each.
4
00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,544
It's a $20 buy-in.
How broke are you?
5
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:13,946
- I don't have it.
- If you're really that
6
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,834
hard up you could always sell
that beautiful head of hair
7
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,284
that you have. I
will give you $40
8
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,451
- for that hair right now.
- $40?
9
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:19,686
- Let me think about that.
- As your accountant,
10
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,588
I highly recommend that
you accept that offer.
11
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,290
Why don't you just
get off your ducket,
12
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,292
come down to the luncheonette
and record another
13
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,360
corny seasonal song, like,
maybe something for, ooh,
14
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:30,831
daylight savings time.
Spring forward, fall back,
15
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,099
- it writes itself.
- Actually I have good songs,
16
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,368
I've written them, but I just
don't have any contacts left
17
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:36,336
in the music industry.
18
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,071
- Oh.
- Music industry's dead.
19
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:40,407
In the digital age it's all
about getting in the studio
20
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,741
with an innovative producer.
21
00:00:41,776 --> 00:00:43,777
Did you listen to a
podcast on the way here?
22
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,245
That's what my
friend Tammy, from
23
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,580
toddler time
sing-a-lon says.
24
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:47,681
Oh!
25
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:48,982
Wait, you know
toddler time Tammy?
26
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:50,851
Do you also know the muffin man?
27
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,118
- Oh, God.
- Tammy idalis
28
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:55,925
happens to be married to
a very influential guy, so.
29
00:00:55,957 --> 00:00:57,090
Is it Peter Cottontail?
30
00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:58,758
Or John Jacob
jingleheimer schmidt?
31
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:00,193
His name is my name too.
32
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,795
Wait, wait, wait,
did you say idalis?
33
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,432
As in Johnny idalis, the
genius, biggest music producer
34
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,133
- in the world idalis?
- Yeah.
35
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,602
You're bros with johhny idalis?
36
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:09,970
I mean, I know him.
37
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,404
I'm actually going to
dinner with him this weekend.
38
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:12,872
- Stop it.
- I mean, I never met him,
39
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,341
I'm invited to his
son's bar mitzvah.
40
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,642
I... I have to be your plus one.
41
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,110
No. It's not a night club,
42
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,913
it's a religious ceremony.
Plus, Laurie is my plus one.
43
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,815
God wants me to
go to that party.
44
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,650
This is perfect, there's
no other explanation.
45
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,785
I can show Johnny
idalis my song.
46
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:27,887
God wants me to
ditch my pregnant wife
47
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,156
so you can hobnob
with a music mogul?
48
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,925
Exactly. Okay, I
am feeling flush,
49
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,259
we're going to a bar mitzvah,
50
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:36,263
I am raising the stakes,
we're going two pretzels.
51
00:01:40,544 --> 00:01:43,145
You know, we're
at Marcus minus 30.
52
00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:44,680
So you know the drill.
53
00:01:44,715 --> 00:01:46,515
Gotta get your clothes
on, get out the back door,
54
00:01:46,550 --> 00:01:48,517
and don't leave a trace.
55
00:01:48,552 --> 00:01:50,119
Yeah.
56
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:53,222
You know...
57
00:01:53,256 --> 00:01:56,258
All this sneaking in and
out of the house, it...
58
00:01:56,293 --> 00:01:59,428
Fiona, it's... time
for you to tell Marcus
59
00:01:59,463 --> 00:02:00,830
about our relationship.
60
00:02:00,864 --> 00:02:03,599
Oh, I know, but he's just
such a uniquely sensitive
61
00:02:03,633 --> 00:02:06,368
child, and I'm not really
sure he's over the death of
62
00:02:06,403 --> 00:02:08,904
Maya angelou, and I mean,
to tell him I'm shagging
63
00:02:08,939 --> 00:02:10,639
- his teacher, I mean...
- You're going to have
64
00:02:10,674 --> 00:02:12,908
to tell him eventually.
I mean, unless
65
00:02:12,943 --> 00:02:14,877
you're not planning on
there being an eventually.
66
00:02:14,911 --> 00:02:17,580
No, of course I am.
And I will, I promise.
67
00:02:17,614 --> 00:02:18,814
I will tell him, I will.
68
00:02:18,849 --> 00:02:20,316
Great, great.
69
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:23,085
Because you know, you don't
want him finding out on his own.
70
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,288
After all, you two are
unusually connected.
71
00:02:26,323 --> 00:02:29,959
Oh, I don't know that
we're unusually connect...
72
00:02:29,993 --> 00:02:32,795
He's early, I sense it. Run!
73
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:38,367
Back?
74
00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:39,635
[Keys jangling]
75
00:02:39,669 --> 00:02:41,270
- He's coming, get in.
- Where, in there?
76
00:02:41,304 --> 00:02:42,671
- Get in.
- Hey, mom.
77
00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:44,173
- Get your legs in.
- Knitting class
78
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:47,977
was cut short today because Gail
wasn't really feeling too well.
79
00:02:48,011 --> 00:02:49,812
Oh, you're home. Lovely.
80
00:02:49,846 --> 00:02:51,714
Let's go that way,
shall we? There we are.
81
00:02:51,748 --> 00:02:53,449
You can't bet for
you every hand.
82
00:02:53,483 --> 00:02:56,352
These represent money,
and it's on the line.
83
00:02:56,386 --> 00:02:59,021
Whoa! Whoa, whoa...
84
00:02:59,056 --> 00:03:01,156
- Fiona hasn't told him yet?
- Nope.
85
00:03:01,191 --> 00:03:02,858
- Deal me in?
- You know, Andy, it looks like
86
00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:05,728
his pair might beat your pair.
87
00:03:05,762 --> 00:03:07,196
Here we go.
88
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:10,533
[brett Dennen's comeback
kid (That's my dog)]
89
00:03:10,567 --> 00:03:13,068
Well, maybe it's
the common curse
90
00:03:13,103 --> 00:03:16,472
Maybe things get bad
before they get worse
91
00:03:16,506 --> 00:03:18,340
I don't want to
become someone
92
00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:22,078
Who can't live up to
what I already done, don't
93
00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:23,646
Here comes a comeback
94
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,348
The kid is back,
is back on track
95
00:03:26,383 --> 00:03:29,351
And there goes my hero
96
00:03:29,386 --> 00:03:33,222
He's the underdog, he's
coming out on top, and
97
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:36,592
[Cheers and applause]
98
00:03:36,626 --> 00:03:38,594
[Bell rings]
99
00:03:41,631 --> 00:03:43,866
Hey, pasty, you
free tomorrow night?
100
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,868
Absolutely. I try
to keep my Saturdays
101
00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:48,003
ftee so I can get a jump on
the Sunday crossword as soon
102
00:03:48,038 --> 00:03:49,738
as it becomes available online.
103
00:03:49,773 --> 00:03:52,575
- dude, you're a wild man.
- Well you should see me
104
00:03:52,609 --> 00:03:56,312
do the puzzles in
pen, it's crazy.
105
00:03:56,346 --> 00:03:58,080
Oh, wait.
106
00:03:58,115 --> 00:04:00,616
My mom's got plans
tomorrow night so I'm home
107
00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:03,119
- with a babysitter.
- Babysitters are for babies.
108
00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:06,288
Just tell your mom
you're staying home alone,
109
00:04:06,323 --> 00:04:08,124
- and then invite me over.
- Wait, you mean lie?
110
00:04:08,158 --> 00:04:10,326
- To my mother?
- Well, if she's gonna treat you
111
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,595
like a baby then what
choice do you have?
112
00:04:12,629 --> 00:04:15,731
You're 12 years old.
113
00:04:15,765 --> 00:04:18,167
Text me when you
grow a pair, okay?
114
00:04:18,201 --> 00:04:19,301
Wait, shea.
115
00:04:19,336 --> 00:04:20,636
What kind of pear
are we talking about?
116
00:04:20,671 --> 00:04:23,272
Like, are we going
bartlett, or bosc?
117
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:27,009
My mom and I have been talking
about growing some fruit trees.
118
00:04:29,513 --> 00:04:32,715
Which brings us to our
one and only conclusion
119
00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:34,316
I'm ready to stay home alone.
120
00:04:34,351 --> 00:04:36,452
Oh, but darling, I
mean the last time...
121
00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:38,087
Yeah, I know, I know,
I stabbed myself trying
122
00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:41,724
to cut an orange.
I'm way ahead of you.
123
00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:43,993
- Oh.
- This graph indicates that
124
00:04:44,027 --> 00:04:47,429
as my voice has lowered, so
has my capacity for self-injury.
125
00:04:47,464 --> 00:04:48,864
- I know, but...
- Mom, you've been going out
126
00:04:48,899 --> 00:04:52,168
a lot lately. Night
shopping, night hiking,
127
00:04:52,202 --> 00:04:54,236
- night biking.
- Yeah, those are all the things
128
00:04:54,271 --> 00:04:55,704
I've told you I've been doing.
129
00:04:55,739 --> 00:04:57,740
Just give me one
chance. Tomorrow night.
130
00:04:57,774 --> 00:04:59,575
I promise I'll text
you every 90 minutes.
131
00:04:59,609 --> 00:05:00,643
- 10.
- 45.
132
00:05:00,677 --> 00:05:02,144
30. That's my final offer.
133
00:05:02,179 --> 00:05:03,746
Yes. Best mom ever.
134
00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:06,348
Oh, darling.
135
00:05:06,383 --> 00:05:08,150
So what night thing are
you doing tomorrow anyway?
136
00:05:08,185 --> 00:05:11,620
Um, well, I...
137
00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:14,523
Do you know, I've been meaning
to talk to you about this?
138
00:05:14,558 --> 00:05:16,359
I've got a new
commitment in my life.
139
00:05:16,393 --> 00:05:19,428
It might upset you a bit,
but we can talk about it
140
00:05:19,463 --> 00:05:24,300
and we can feel
about it. If it does.
141
00:05:24,334 --> 00:05:29,205
The thing is, I've been...
I've been seeing mister...
142
00:05:29,239 --> 00:05:31,707
Mister... mist...
mist... mist... Mysteries.
143
00:05:31,742 --> 00:05:34,777
Mystery films. I've
been seeing mystery films
144
00:05:34,811 --> 00:05:38,180
at the independent cinema.
'Cause I love mystery films,
145
00:05:38,215 --> 00:05:40,483
all those twists and turns.
146
00:05:40,517 --> 00:05:42,318
Ooh, actually my leg's
going to sleep, darling,
147
00:05:42,352 --> 00:05:43,853
you're bloody heavy. Go
on, go get your homework
148
00:05:43,887 --> 00:05:45,087
and we'll do it down here.
149
00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:47,356
Thank you.
150
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,458
[Sighs]
151
00:05:49,493 --> 00:05:52,595
Classic mysteries at
the independent cinema.
152
00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:55,931
Coward.
153
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,428
[Gold rush by Clinton sparks]
154
00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:04,912
Just have a good
time. Good to see you.
155
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:06,647
You chasin'
paper
yeah
156
00:06:06,682 --> 00:06:08,649
-
You almost famous
-
yeah
157
00:06:08,684 --> 00:06:11,619
I don't know, will.
I mean, hustling a guy
158
00:06:11,653 --> 00:06:13,588
on the day of his
son's bar mitzvah.
159
00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:15,723
What if we anger him? So what?
160
00:06:15,758 --> 00:06:17,892
- What's he gonna do?
- What's he gonna do?
161
00:06:17,926 --> 00:06:19,727
He knows jailed rappers.
162
00:06:19,762 --> 00:06:22,630
You call me on this, the
day of my son's bar mitzvah
163
00:06:22,665 --> 00:06:23,765
to do business?
164
00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:26,367
What shame on you, kanye.
165
00:06:26,402 --> 00:06:28,836
No, I'll listen to it,
go ahead and play it.
166
00:06:28,871 --> 00:06:30,905
- Hey.
- Andy.
167
00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:33,007
Oh, I'm so glad
you could make it.
168
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:35,576
Joshie, this is Andy, my
friend from toddler time.
169
00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:36,711
Hey. Mazel tov.
170
00:06:36,745 --> 00:06:38,379
- Nice to meet you.
- All right.
171
00:06:38,414 --> 00:06:40,148
And who's this?
172
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:45,853
This guy is... he
is... um... my...
173
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:49,190
How do you describe him?
He's very close... personal...
174
00:06:49,224 --> 00:06:51,826
Andy, it's okay, I get it.
175
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:53,261
What do you... what do you get?
176
00:06:53,295 --> 00:06:55,563
We've always assumed
but now it's clear.
177
00:06:55,597 --> 00:06:57,131
Not to me.
178
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,067
There's no "Laurie" is there?
179
00:06:59,101 --> 00:07:02,637
- Laurie is...
- You have...
180
00:07:02,671 --> 00:07:05,206
Nailed it, Tammy,
you little sleuth.
181
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,641
[Laughter]
182
00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:08,242
I can't believe you're
still doing the Laurie story.
183
00:07:08,277 --> 00:07:09,611
Honestly he's crazy.
184
00:07:09,645 --> 00:07:11,245
Hi, I'm will.
185
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,449
I'm Andy's... partner.
186
00:07:14,483 --> 00:07:17,118
Life partner, husband, lover.
187
00:07:17,152 --> 00:07:19,153
But whatever, we hate labels.
Labels are for jars, not people,
188
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:21,656
am I right?
189
00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:22,990
We're together.
190
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,959
And that's what's
important to us, right?
191
00:07:24,993 --> 00:07:27,161
Wait, you two are... a couple?
192
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:31,232
Couple of...
couple of guys. Yup.
193
00:07:31,266 --> 00:07:32,633
Is that all right?
194
00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:34,235
- No, it's not all right.
- See?
195
00:07:34,269 --> 00:07:36,404
It's fabulous.
196
00:07:36,438 --> 00:07:38,339
I thought this was going
to be a bunch of soccer moms
197
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,474
and tech stiffs.
198
00:07:39,508 --> 00:07:40,741
But now maybe
it'll have a little
199
00:07:40,776 --> 00:07:42,777
[grunts] Flair, you know?
200
00:07:42,811 --> 00:07:44,145
- Johnny idalis.
- Hi, will Freeman,
201
00:07:44,179 --> 00:07:47,448
and have I got flair. I
have got flair to spare,
202
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:49,383
my friend. Shipwrecked
on an island?
203
00:07:49,418 --> 00:07:51,819
Have no fear, I'm
your man, because,
204
00:07:51,854 --> 00:07:56,758
[imitates signal flare] Flair.
205
00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:58,092
We'll see you on the
dance floor, I hope?
206
00:07:58,127 --> 00:07:59,560
- All right.
- I love your shoes.
207
00:07:59,595 --> 00:08:04,198
- Bye.
- [Indistinct]
208
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:07,168
Wow, you look incredible.
209
00:08:07,202 --> 00:08:10,505
Thanks.
210
00:08:11,674 --> 00:08:13,082
Make yourself at home.
211
00:08:15,177 --> 00:08:17,211
Wow.
212
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,679
Did you do all that for me?
213
00:08:18,714 --> 00:08:20,048
Yeah.
214
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:23,418
Look, Fiona, I know how hard
it was for you to tell Marcus
215
00:08:23,452 --> 00:08:25,186
about us, so...
216
00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:27,288
I figured the least I could
do was spend the day cooking
217
00:08:27,322 --> 00:08:29,023
a six-course vegan
meal in return.
218
00:08:29,058 --> 00:08:31,292
Uh... yeah... about that.
219
00:08:31,326 --> 00:08:32,427
You did talk to him, didn't you?
220
00:08:32,461 --> 00:08:33,428
Yeah, no, no, no,
yeah, we talked.
221
00:08:33,462 --> 00:08:34,495
- We did.
- Was he terribly upset?
222
00:08:34,530 --> 00:08:35,696
Not terribly.
223
00:08:35,731 --> 00:08:37,965
Well the important
thing is you did it.
224
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,834
- I...
- And I am so incredibly proud
225
00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:41,135
- of you for that.
- Well-
226
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:43,071
- let's not go mad...
- Why not?
227
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:45,873
We are out in the open, I think
that is cause for celebration.
228
00:08:45,908 --> 00:08:47,141
- [Timer dings]
- Oh, hold that thought.
229
00:08:47,176 --> 00:08:50,211
Chia gnocchi with
nutritional yeast sauce.
230
00:08:50,245 --> 00:08:53,481
Great.
231
00:08:56,652 --> 00:08:58,152
Wow.
232
00:08:58,187 --> 00:08:59,988
You look so radiant
and luminous.
233
00:09:00,022 --> 00:09:03,091
I don't do compliments.
234
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,927
Well, toot toot, all
aboard the fun train.
235
00:09:05,961 --> 00:09:08,090
I've set up several
enjoyment stations.
236
00:09:08,122 --> 00:09:12,504
And our first stop is
Tropical Snack Island.
237
00:09:12,801 --> 00:09:16,504
Oh, oh, oh, and then we
have crossword corner.
238
00:09:16,538 --> 00:09:18,406
- You got a suit?
- Uh, yeah.
239
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,509
Put it on. We're going out.
240
00:09:24,546 --> 00:09:26,014
Tonight I'm going
to introduce you
241
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,116
to one of my
favorite things ever,
242
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,084
party crashing.
243
00:09:30,119 --> 00:09:33,721
It's dangerous, it's
exciting, and it's dinner.
244
00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:36,090
You don't do compliments,
I don't do dangerous.
245
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:39,794
Well, maybe it's time to start.
246
00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:42,830
You want to be the
winklemans or the nakishers?
247
00:09:42,865 --> 00:09:44,432
[Let's by tiesto]
248
00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:48,169
One night to
save the day
249
00:09:48,203 --> 00:09:50,972
We'll show them all
250
00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:54,642
- That's Dr. nakisher to you.
- Let's go.
251
00:09:59,044 --> 00:10:02,112
Say Geronimo
say Geronimo
252
00:10:02,147 --> 00:10:06,733
-
Say Geronimo
- so, Andy, we're dying to know,
253
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,608
how did you score a tall
drink of water like will?
254
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,911
Mr. idalis? Such
a beautiful party.
255
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,346
Listen, my husband and I
are particularly delighted
256
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:18,082
to be here because, um...
Well here's the thing, I...
257
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,418
Do you guys mind if I took
you guys aside for a minute?
258
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:21,953
I'd love to get into your ears.
259
00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:23,488
Oh, are you kidding? We
would love to have you
260
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:24,989
in our ears. We
are all about that.
261
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,991
[Laughs]
262
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:29,360
- What?
- Hey!
263
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,663
We're not going to do any
sex gay stuff with my ears.
264
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,264
All right, I'm
married eleven years.
265
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,833
Will you stop being
such a homophobe, okay?
266
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,834
He's not going to do
anything gay to our ears.
267
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:38,403
And even if he does, so be it.
268
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:40,438
Do you see this USB
stick full of songs?
269
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,073
If I could get him on
board, this could change
270
00:10:42,107 --> 00:10:44,509
my life forever. Don't
screw this up for me,
271
00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:48,246
okay? [Sighs]
272
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,686
Okay, here's the deal,
you guys notice anything...
273
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,821
Familiar about this party?
274
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:58,990
The all-male wait
staff in Navy uniforms,
275
00:10:59,024 --> 00:11:03,528
the only entree is rainbow
trout, the mani-pedi station?
276
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:06,764
My little joshie chose it all.
277
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:10,668
He's gay. I mean, he
doesn't think I know.
278
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,403
The thing is, I'm fine
with it. I'm more than fine,
279
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:14,906
I'm thrilled. But
you know how it is
280
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,575
with fathers and sons,
he can't talk to me.
281
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,912
So I was wondering if you
guys would talk to him.
282
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,380
See if you can
get through to him.
283
00:11:22,414 --> 00:11:25,884
Let him know that it's
okay with me that he's...
284
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:29,554
One of... you. Tell
me if I'm crossing
285
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:33,324
- some kind of a gay line here.
- The only line you're crossing
286
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,393
is the one in
front of our hearts.
287
00:11:35,427 --> 00:11:38,897
We would be so thrilled
to speak with your joshie.
288
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:41,132
Thank you. I really
owe you guys one
289
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,968
for this. Such a mitzvah.
290
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:47,172
- It's our pleasure.
- Came out of the closet
291
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,908
20 minutes ago, now
I'm a gay role model.
292
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:56,514
We can't keep this up. I
really can't keep doing this.
293
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,750
You gotta stop. Okay,
listen, I've got him
294
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,718
on the line, and I'm gonna
reel this big fish in,
295
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,353
so shut up and
slow dance with me.
296
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,755
What?
297
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:05,123
[(I just) Died in your
arms by cutting crew]
298
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:06,558
You know what? A
large part of me
299
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:09,060
wants to punch you
in the face right now.
300
00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:11,996
And a little bit of me just
died in your arms tonight.
301
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:16,000
I just died in
your arms tonight
302
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,138
[Sighs]
303
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:21,739
[Mmm ye by Austin mahone]
304
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:23,007
I tell these women that
it's all about the team
305
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,542
-
Jordan and pippen, man
- [Phone vibrating]
306
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,610
So do you want
to join the team
307
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,078
Pro move? Eat dessert first.
308
00:12:27,112 --> 00:12:30,548
So much better than hotel food.
309
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,450
- Am I boring you?
- What?
310
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,253
Oh, no, I just didn't see
these texts from my mom
311
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:37,088
until now.
312
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:39,491
- "Momma bear to baby bear?"
- Can I have that back, please?
313
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,159
You're not going to
bail on me, are you?
314
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,627
I don't know. I'm
just racking up
315
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:45,663
the crimes against my mom here.
Sneaking out, eating gluten,
316
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,066
- impersonating a nakisher...
- You know, in the Jewish faith,
317
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,368
you'd almost be a man by now.
318
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,036
All that I could say
was mmm, mmm, yeah, yeah
319
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,771
Mmm, mmm, yeah, yeah
320
00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,974
Mmm, mmm, yeah, yeah
321
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:59,010
All that I could say was
322
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,478
- Joshie.
- Yeah?
323
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:03,548
It's will, and you
remember my husband, Andy?
324
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,550
- Hi.
- And we just wanted to say,
325
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:08,419
mazel mazel. And we're
really into this whole
326
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,221
Navy theme you've
got going on here.
327
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,289
- Thanks.
- We're also really
328
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,892
into each other.
Yeah, we're just, uh,
329
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:19,030
a couple of dudes being loud
and proud and queer and here,
330
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:23,067
and having no fear, and
slapping each other on the rears.
331
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:24,202
Okay, then. Um, I should go
332
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:26,938
do some jelly beans for my Nana.
333
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,940
Yo.
334
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,542
What the hell was that?
335
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,977
When I get nervous, I rhyme.
It happens all the time.
336
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,479
You're an embarrasment.
337
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:37,048
Shvitzing.
338
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,050
Oh, God, he's not at
will's, he's not upstairs.
339
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,785
He's not lying dead
on the kitchen floor,
340
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,153
I mean, where is he?
341
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,955
M sure he's fine,
he's probably out
342
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,624
with a friend somewhere
and just lost track of time.
343
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,660
No, you don't understand,
Marcus doesn't do that.
344
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,929
He's... he doesn't
go to the bathroom
345
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,497
without checking in with me,
much less leave the house.
346
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,065
What if he's trapped in a wall?
347
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:55,667
Marcus!
348
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,969
Oh, Marcus?
349
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,404
Are you trapped in the wall?
350
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,706
- He's not in the wall.
- Darling, can you whistle?
351
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,208
Can you whistle for mommy?
352
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,243
Oh, my God. Where's my son?
353
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:08,446
- He's at the Chapman hotel.
- How do you know that?
354
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,748
I activated the "find my
kids" app on your phone.
355
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,485
See that little red
dot? That's your guy.
356
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,820
Oh, my little blinking boy.
357
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,190
What are you doing there?
358
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,692
[More than frien by inna]
359
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:22,727
This might just be
the night of you and I
360
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:25,797
If there's no distance
in our hearts tonight
361
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:29,400
And if you like what we
doin' why don't we give in
362
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:33,138
For the night
363
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:36,274
Whoa, tonight
364
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:40,678
Tonight we could
be more than friends
365
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,815
Whoa, tonight yeah
366
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:48,086
Tonight we should
be more than friends
367
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,923
From the first time that I
saw that look in your eyes
368
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:55,426
I've been thinking about
you for all of this time
369
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:58,663
Whoa, tonight
370
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:03,368
Tonight we could
be more than friends
371
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:06,371
[Hava nagila plays]
372
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,409
All: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
373
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:25,256
- Whoo.
- They're coming,
374
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:28,059
they're coming.
375
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,895
- What's that poking me?
- My USB stick.
376
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,331
Oh, God. Ooh!
377
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:37,835
Thanks, you guys, for
sharing your story tonight.
378
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,404
I don't know if any of it
got through to him, but...
379
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,272
You know, listen,
whatever happens, at least
380
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,974
he has a supportive father,
that's more than I ever had.
381
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,376
Yeah, my dad never thought
I'd amount to anything.
382
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:46,778
Never thought I'd get
my driver's license,
383
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,947
and now I've got a driver.
384
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:51,182
[Laughs] What
business are you in?
385
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,751
- Oh, I'm in the music business.
- Is that right?
386
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,754
I'm a songwriter.
That's crazy, I actually
387
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,555
- as a matter of fact have...
- Wait, will,
388
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:58,756
is that you?
389
00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,958
What are you doing here?
390
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,259
We're having the
time of our lives,
391
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,728
- we're party crashers.
- Dude, not cool.
392
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,763
Marcus, there you are.
393
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,265
Fiona!
394
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,135
Will, why are you stroking Andy?
395
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:13,104
Well, now, wait, I won't have
anyone made to feel less than
396
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,472
because they're gay and in love.
397
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:16,641
Gay? If you're gay,
398
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,244
then who's the retinue
of half-naked trollops
399
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:20,879
who parade in and out
of your house everyday?
400
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:21,980
Hairdressers.
401
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:23,548
Is this true?
402
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,216
- Have you been lying to us?
- Wait, mom,
403
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,619
what are you doing
here with Mr. Chris?
404
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:31,256
And why are you wearing that
"I don't respect myself" dress?
405
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,525
- You didn't tell him.
- Wait, wait, wait.
406
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:37,896
Was anyone here actually
invited to our son's bar mitzvah?
407
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,431
I'm sorry.
408
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,866
And Laurie's real.
409
00:16:46,013 --> 00:16:47,614
Most important rule
of party crashing?
410
00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:49,415
Knowing when to peace out.
411
00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:52,151
And that time is now.
412
00:16:52,646 --> 00:16:54,513
But, hey...
413
00:16:54,548 --> 00:16:56,615
I gotta say you
impressed me tonight.
414
00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:59,151
Didn't think you had it in you.
415
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,588
[Laughs] Honestly,
neither did I.
416
00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:04,724
Chris, I'm so sorry I lied.
417
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:08,527
I... you have to understand,
it's just been Marcus and me.
418
00:17:08,562 --> 00:17:11,330
For so long, it's just
been the two of us,
419
00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:13,666
and I didn't know
how to tell him.
420
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:17,570
I'm gonna go and I'm gonna
let you talk to your son.
421
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:24,195
You know, Fiona, it's not
just the two of you anymore.
422
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,824
Hey, Mr. idalis, wait, please!
423
00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:42,295
I... I've written a hit song,
I'm a big deal, like you.
424
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,796
Okay, not... not
like you. All right?
425
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:47,199
But I was successful. And
I just, how do I put this?
426
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,135
I've been, like, in the
desert for 40 years and
427
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,604
I just need my Moses to
lead me to the promised land.
428
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,639
You know, first, you
pretend to be gay,
429
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:55,007
now you belittle my religion.
430
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,342
You disgust me.
431
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,678
Disgust isn't what I
was going for, exactly.
432
00:17:58,712 --> 00:18:02,782
Maybe we can build from that.
Dad, I have to say something.
433
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:06,886
Tonight, watching those two guys
do whatever... they were doing,
434
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,821
I figured something out.
435
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,056
There's nothing more pathetic
436
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,958
than pretending to
be someone you're not.
437
00:18:11,992 --> 00:18:16,662
So... here it goes.
438
00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:20,166
I'm gay.
439
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,336
I've never been so proud of you.
440
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,972
I love this boy!
441
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,174
No, I love this man.
442
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:32,745
[Laughter]
443
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,580
Looks like love was
the big winner tonight.
444
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,816
No, you're touching my
family. Don't touch my family.
445
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:39,118
In this thumbdrive
is a hit song.
446
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:40,353
- Mm.
- I just need you to listen...
447
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,021
- Just get the hell out of here.
- I'll call
448
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:44,290
- your office tomorrow.
- No, don't bother.
449
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,891
Tammy.
450
00:18:45,926 --> 00:18:49,261
I think we need to remember the
toddler time forgiveness song.
451
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:54,400
It's okay, it's all right,
everyone makes mistakes
452
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,168
Sometimes
453
00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:59,372
- Leave.
- Okay.
454
00:19:00,741 --> 00:19:02,575
Wha... Marcus, wait. Hold on.
455
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,277
I'm not talking to
you, teacher lover.
456
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:08,814
Wait, we'll get to
that, but we need to talk
457
00:19:08,849 --> 00:19:11,918
about some consequences
for your behavior tonight.
458
00:19:11,952 --> 00:19:14,921
Of all the guys
in the whole world,
459
00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:17,256
why did you have
to pick my teacher?
460
00:19:17,291 --> 00:19:20,559
Do you have any idea how deeply
disgusting this is for me?
461
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:23,662
- Do you even care?
- Course I care.
462
00:19:23,697 --> 00:19:26,299
I... I don't know why
I fell for your teacher.
463
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,634
I wish it was someone
else, but it's not.
464
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,003
And can't we just move
forward from this point?
465
00:19:31,038 --> 00:19:34,740
Can we just find a way of
finding some acceptance?
466
00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:36,509
No.
467
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,077
I'm not accepting this.
468
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:41,981
It's too gross.
469
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,482
I'm gonna go upstairs
and brush my teeth,
470
00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:44,917
and do you wanna know why?
471
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:50,156
Because I had sugar tonight.
Bleached, white, sugar!
472
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,598
I... I didn't have fun tonight
at all, it was terrible.
473
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,101
Yeah, let's never do that again.
474
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:05,338
So what happens now?
I just call you, or...
475
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:10,710
Yeah, you know, we
call each other, so.
476
00:20:10,744 --> 00:20:12,845
Yeah, good-bye.
477
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:18,751
Okay, I'll just... Yeah.
478
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:23,656
You don't gotta
be weird about it.
479
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,225
[Knocking at door]
480
00:20:31,687 --> 00:20:35,115
481
00:20:35,243 --> 00:20:39,542
482
00:20:40,044 --> 00:20:43,741
483
00:20:43,798 --> 00:20:46,421
484
00:20:47,085 --> 00:20:51,499
485
00:20:51,537 --> 00:20:53,648
486
00:20:54,813 --> 00:20:59,393
487
00:20:59,444 --> 00:21:01,747
488
00:21:01,822 --> 00:21:07,797
Sync and corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com
489
00:21:07,847 --> 00:21:12,397
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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