All language subtitles for S01E17

ADULT DEAN: Growing up, you always had
that one house

where you and your buddies
would meet after school

or on the weekends and just hang.

That house usually belonged
to a friend whose parents were okay

with letting their house be the hangout.

Or in our case, it belonged
to Norman's divorced dad,

who just wanted Norman
to like him more than his mom.

How many grenades do we have left, Norman?

Plenty!

-Oh, dang.
-(GLASS CRASHES)

Oh.

Guys!

My dad should be here any minute.

(GRUNTS)

-Get the pillows.
-Where does this comic book...

Is it good?

Good enough for my dad.

ADULT DEAN: And then,
we'd do it all over again the next day.

-Hey, Mom, Dad. Going to Norman's.
-Not until you sweep up this kitchen.

I believe there's more cereal
on the floor than made it

into your bowl this morning.

-But I--
-You heard your mother.

LILIAN:
Oh, there's our little working girl.

Finished your first week
of having a real job.

-How does it feel?
-Like, payday.

You mean, it feels good
to have responsibility

and be rewarded for your hard work?

Yes, I have been growing as a person.

And I'm going to buy a new dress
for Kathy's party.

But you have plenty of party dresses.

We agreed to let you take this job
only if it didn't interfere with school

and you were responsible
with the money you earned.

Spending your first paycheck on a dress
doesn't sound like a good idea.

-Well, is it a special party?
-Nope.

Yes. (SCOFFS)

Kwame's gonna be there.

I thought you broke up with Kwame.

-Albert.
-I did.

If you broke up, why are you on the phone
with him all the time?

-Dean, it is not polite to eavesdrop.
-Now, what else you hear?

You two are more back and forth
than a trolley car.

-And no new dress is gonna fix that.
-But...

(SIGHS)

That's cool. Probably won't have
enough money for a new dress anyway.

I barely make any tips at work.

You do realize that tips are based
on good service, right?

Yes, Daddy. I was hired to make
their new Black customers

feel comfortable,
but there aren't enough of them.

So, I've been inviting my friends
to come by so they can tell people

that it's cool to eat there.

If you need more customers,
we're available.

You wanna go tonight, Lil?

Sounds like a good idea.

Stew's better on the second day anyway.

Hope your plan works to get more tips.

You know, a lot of money
gets taken out that paycheck.

I know about taxes, Daddy.

I'm talking about what I take out.

Everybody in this house
with a job chips in for bills. (CHUCKLES)

(SCOFFS) Only you could find a way
to charge me for earning my own money.

I'll see y'all later.

Yeah. And we will get ready to leave
as soon as Dean cleans up

those last three Cheerios
up under in the hutch.

ADULT DEAN: Not only did my mom have eyes
in the back of her head,

apparently, she had X-ray vision too.

-But I was going to Norman's.
-We're going to Kim's diner.

After you take a bath.
You smell like the outside.

But all the guys are counting on me.

I'm supposed to bring them
the cherry bomb and the rope.

The what?

No, never mind.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Well, that last Cheerio was picked up

and, uh, I'mma go get in the bathtub.

-(THEME SONG BEGINS)
-Oh, and I know

Oh, through the highs and the lows

I'mma find my way home

(THEME SONG ENDS)

Dad, your pork chop
with the gravy on the side, no potatoes.

Mom, your country-fried steak,
light on the batter with no pepper,

and here's Dean's burger,
well-done with pickles, no onions.

Here is a refill of your sweat tea,

'cause I noticed
you were getting a little low.

An extra napkin for you
and extra ketchup for Dean.

Very nice. Thank you.

Look at our baby girl.

So professional.

I told you I could handle
grown-up things, like having a job.

You forgot the sugar for my ketchup.
I said no seeds on my bun.

This lettuce is brown.

I think I see onion juice
on the bread and it's cold in here.

Dad, tell Dean to stop being
a little butt.

Uh-uh. You can't come crying to mom
and dad on the job.

Handle him yourself.

But remember,
the customer is always right.

(CHUCKLES) Sir, let me take that burger
back to the kitchen

and make it right for you.

Did you want regular spit
on that or extra juicy?

On second thought,

-it's fine the way it is. (CHUCKLES)
-(KIM CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)

There's a lot of us in here.
I think your plan just might be working.

It is. And I got lots more ideas that'll
help things run better around here.

ADULT DEAN: My mom and dad
were used to this from Kim.

They always said,
"When Kim goes to heaven,

she's gonna tell Peter
how he can run things better."

To which I always replied,
"If Kim goes to heaven. If."

Table eight just sat down.

Oh, my girlfriends showed up for me.
Oh, this is going to be so fun.

Well, you're supposed
to be waiting tables,

not hosting a dinner party in here.

I'll be sure to provide excellent service,
so they come back.

And take even more tip money
out of my pocket.

Great.

-I'd watch your back with that one.
-Wendy, she's fine.

Her feet probably hurt.

Mine would too if I wore
those ugly clodhoppers all day. (CHUCKLES)

ADULT DEAN: As my mom and dad proudly
watched Kim take on

this new level of responsibility
with confidence,

the significance of the moment
wasn't lost on me....

So...

now that Kim has a paycheck
can I get her allowance?

(CHUCKLES)

Fifteen percent of 7.50.

Let's just give her ten percent,
that math's easier.

Fifteen percent is a $1.13
when you round up.

Thanks. None of us could figure
that tip out in our heads.

Wait, that's for Kim.

She... she's my sister,
I should have told you less.

-(ALL CHUCKLE)
-Well, isn't he just the cutest?

He reminds me of my little brother.
But Calvin's not that smart.

-He's not.
-We should buy him a milkshake.

ADULT DEAN: Now, girls my age may not
have given me the time of day,

but I was about to discover
that to girls too old for me to date,

oh, man, I was irresistible.

Dean, scram. Go back to Mom and Dad.

Don't worry about it, girl. I mean,
he can stay with us.

-Come on, it's fine.
-Thank you.

Uh, hey, waitress.

Refills for me and my friends, please.
Make it snappy, sweetheart.

Ooh! Careful.

Come on, Dean. Time to go.

The ladies and I just ordered drinks,
so I'm gonna stay here for a while

and ride home with Kim.

-Is that what you think you're doing?
-Let the boy stay a little.

He might learn some responsibility

by observing Kim
in her work environment.

She got that strong work ethic
like her mama.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Well, okay then, Dean.

Just don't bother your sister
while she's busy.

We'll see you at home.

Be cool.

So, Dean.

Tell us all about yourself.

Your book report is very good, Dean.
You really explained the themes

of Call of the Wild very well,
but,

you had several misspelled words.

Now, honey, if you can't spell something,
you got to look it up.

How would I know if I spelled a word wrong
if nobody tells me?

One day I'm going to create something
that automatically checks

your spelling for you.

Oh, baby. Lazy has already been invented.

ADULT DEAN: And that's why
I don't have a yacht today.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

I got it.

Hey, Miss Williams.

Kwame?

Uh, Kim. You, uh, ready to go?

-Yeah, let's go.
-Let's go.

Albert.

Uh, I prefer Kwame, sir.

I bet you do, but that's not
what your mama named you.

-Well, we were on our way out. So...
-I parked behind you

in the driveway,

so we might as well sit a spell
and catch up.

How's that revolution coming?

-Y'all on schedule?
-(KIM GROANS)

So, uh...

does this mean that you--

Kwame is just giving me a ride
to the party as friends.

BILL: Friends? (SCOFFS)

Uh-huh.

I used that one a time or two myself
back in the day.

But experience tells me,
there's no such thing

as boys and girls being just friends.

ADULT DEAN: What was my dad talking about?

I have friends who are girls.
Like, Keisa.

Oh, right.

Maybe that was true
back in the '40s or whenever,

but men and women are equals
and we can define our own relationships.

-Is that what you two think you are doing?
-Yes. Friendship is what I want.

You're driving this?

Yes, and my friend and I
are about to be late to Kathy's party.

So, you just gonna let her do
all the talking for ya?

-I'm... I'm sorry--
-So, you just gonna interrupt her

-when she was talking?
-Oh, um, I just--

So, you just gonna let me
contradict myself like that?

I don't...

We are picking up
some other people on the way,

so we really should go.

-Kim, you know what time to be home.
-Yes, Dad.

-Listen, you be careful, girl.
-Okay.

ADULT DEAN:
Watching my father glare at Kwame,

I thought girl dads
were the meanest people in the world,

until I became one.

Now I know that meanness
is totally justified.

You hung out with high school girls?

And they paid for your food?

-We mostly just talked.
-About what?

Just stuff. Like what they watch
on the boob tube.

-That's what they call TV.
-Cool.

Yeah. And how they never
have enough scratch, that's money.

And where they like to go
for submarine races.

It means making out in a car.

-(ALL SIGH)
-I know, I know.

I thought there were gonna be
real submarines involved too.

I think it is so good that you wanted
to come here and support your sister.

And you were right
about the milkshakes, delicious.

ADULT DEAN: Asking my mom to take me
to the diner was a brilliant move.

It made me look like a good brother,
all while putting me in position

to run into Kim's girlfriends again.

Kim being heavy-handed
on the whipped cream tap

was just a happy accident.

Oh, Mr. Young.

Did Wendy mention
my menu idea to you?

No. What was it?

ADULT DEAN: Ooh.
I'd seen that stink eye before.

But usually, it was Kim giving it to me.

I was thinking we should take
our less popular items

off our regular menus
and tell customers

they're our specials of the day.

That might make them inclined
to try something different.

That's fine by me,
as long as it's okay with Wendy.

I told you I'll let her handle the menu.

-Sounds like a yes to me.
-What it sounds like is someone

with a lot of smart-ass ideas
thinking she knows more

than the people who worked here
for the last ten years.

ADULT DEAN: Wow. That was the first time
I'd ever seen someone

who wasn't Mama or Daddy check
my know-it-all sister about her attitude.

What's the problem?
I was only trying to help.

Why don't you learn
how things work around here first, hon?

Did you ever think that in addition
to wanting new customers,

Mr. Young wanted a waitress
with a fresh perspective

and a better attitude?

Well, he got one

with a smart mouth
who needs to learn her place.

(SCOFFS)

Can you believe Wendy?
Going off on me for no reason at all.

-I did not appreciate her tone.
-Right?

But she definitely had a good reason.

Wait. So, you're taking her side?

Baby, I'm always on your side,
but that doesn't mean you're right.

Well, then she's more wrong.

You have been working here
for less than a month.

Workplaces have hierarchy
and politics that you need to learn

before you start going around
trying to change things.

It'd be like me going to one
of your parties

and trying to show all your friends
how to do the Watusi.

Now, how would you like that?

(SHUDDERS) I get it.

Now, go get me some French fries
to go with this milkshake...

but don't let that Wendy
anywhere near my food.

KIM: Mm.

ADULT DEAN:
I took Mama's example to heart.

No matter our internal conflicts,

we were a family
and always had each other's backs.

This Wendy lady had a problem with Kim

-and that meant we had to--
-(DOOR BELL DINGS)

ADULT DEAN: Oh! Hey, here comes, Pam.

Hey. Pam.

-(GIRLS LAUGHING)
-ADULT DEAN: Kim's friends

were super cool.

All they really did was gossip
about people I didn't know,

talk about music I didn't listen to
and reference magazines I hadn't read.

But still, I never felt so included
in my life.

I think my birthday was the best party
of the year.

I couldn't believe all the boys we invited

-actually showed up.
-I know.

Did you see when Ervin and Kwame
were trying to sing like the Temptations?

-So funny.
-(CHUCKLES)

Kim must have loved that.

Really? Why?

Well, because...

Give me one second, guys.

What are you guys doing here?

You were bragging about how fun
this place was,

so we decided to join you.

Yep, and Norman's dad's apartment
does not have gorgeous high school girls.

But they're my friends and they're--
they're way more mature than you guys.

So?

Not everyone loves jokes
about passing gas, Norman.

Really?

Dean. Your food's getting cold.

This is Norman, Cory, and Hampton,
but... (CHUCKLES) ...they're not staying.

So, Dean. Do you know Kwame?

No, not really.

Mainly just say hi to him
for when he calls for Kim.

I would hope they give you enough time
to talk to your girlfriend.

(CHUCKLES) I don't really have
a girlfriend right now.

Mm. I can't believe that, Dean.

ADULT DEAN:
Now, I should have been suspicious

about this whole line of questioning,

but I wanted to show the guys
how in I was with the high schoolers.

Anyways, he doesn't call as much
since they broke up.

And-- and when was that?

I don't know exactly.

He took her
for a walk by the train tracks and...

Sound familiar?

She told my mom and dad
that they were just friends. I heard her.

You know what, Dean?

I think it's crazy
that you don't have a girlfriend.

I mean, who wouldn't want
to be with an honest, young man like you?

You know, I bet you don't even eavesdrop
on Kim and Kwame's phone calls, do you?

I need to use the restroom.

-Then go.
-You have to let me out.

-Yeah, but...
-Just go.

I think we all have to go.

NORMAN: Yeah. Come on.

Come here.

DEAN: Let go.

What gives?

She's pumping you for information, man.

Why would she do that?

-It's so obvious.
-Obvious.

Pam's in love with you!

No!

Really?
N-- no, that's impossible.

She asked you if you had a girlfriend
and said any woman

would be lucky to have you.

And she stares deep into your eyes
when you talk.

Like this.

That's love.

No. No.
But she asked about Kim and Kwame.

To keep you off guard.

Girls are tricky.

Ooh! This is better than the stories
I watch with Granny.

So, what should I do?

Look, you let her take the lead,
all right?

My dad said older women
know just what they want

and exactly how to get it.

ADULT DEAN: I was glad I had friends
who had my back,

even if they had no clue
what was actually going on.

(LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ADULT DEAN: I still wasn't sure
that the guys were right

about Pam having a crush on me,
so just in case, the next day

I sprayed extra Afro Sheen on my hair
and chewed half a roll of breath mints.

Are you ready to order?

And no asking for lemons
and water to make your own lemonade.

Well, our parents actually
gave us money today.

Oh, okay, then. What'll you have?

Table five needs more jelly.

-Okay. I'll--
-Now. I'm sure these gentlemen will wait.

ADULT DEAN: I still hadn't figured out
what Wendy's issue was with my sister.

Kim was great at her job.

But I figured it had something to do
with Kim being

from the original mother race
and Wendy being jealous

because her loins weren't
the birthplace of civilization.

I mean, that's what I got
from those Black Panther pamphlets

-in Kim's room anyway.
-(DOOR BELL DINGS)

Kathy, Mildred. Here, Hampton,
slide over and give them some room.

Oh, hey, Dean.

You know my boyfriend.

Wait, Kwame is your boyfriend?

Yeah.

We're back together now.

Kim, two Cokes for me and Kwame.

Really? Uh...

I thought that we...

I-- I mean, you said...

ADULT DEAN: As I saw
what was unfolding before me,

I began to realize that I'd been part
of a nefarious plot all along.

As much as I didn't like
my sister sometimes,

it never occurred to me
that her friends may not

have been real friends.

Kim... I--

I didn't know
you'd be working today.

Didn't know or didn't care?

Look, can-- can't we talk about this?

-(GRUNTS)
-(GASPS)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

I don't need your help.

Uh-uh.

Let her weird little brother
help clean up her mess.

ADULT DEAN: After an hour of mean-mugging
and shooting

the occasional spitball at Pam and Kwame,
my friends had to get home.

Sorry about all this, man.

Yeah. That Pam is a real Jezebel.

Actually, she makes Jezebel
look like Ruth.

It's not just a book, guys!

(SCOFFS)

-See you tomorrow, bro.
-See you, guys.

Before you say anything,
I know my behavior was unprofessional.

Honey, it was more than unprofessional,
it was a train wreck.

But it wasn't your fault.

Here...

let me show you something.

His name is Chad.

Boy, did he have my nose wide open.

You might say he was my Kwame.

That...

was taken about a month
after he left me.

And that is Chad Jr.

Is he your only child?

Mine...

but not his dad's.

I've heard Chad Sr. has three daughters
by two other women.

Wow.

That's heavy.

That's why now I can see a no-good guy
coming a mile away.

You need to let Kwame go.

-I know.
-No, you don't.

You might have let him go up here,
but you need to let him go in here.

Because if it gets any lower,
you're in real trouble.

Okay, I get it.

-But why are--
-Maybe the two of us

didn't start off so good, but...

I felt I should tell you
what I wish someone would have told me

ten years ago.

Thanks.

I know I need to move on.

There is no way I can go through
another scene

like the one this afternoon.

Mm-mm. He's just lucky
neither one of us had a pistol.

(CHUCKLES) That's right.

ADULT DEAN: Comparing what I'd seen
between Kim and Pam

to what I was seeing now,

I learned that true friendship
can come from the most unexpected places.

This was the first time
it ever occurred to me

that there might be a period in my life
even more emotionally challenging

than junior high.

I have to tell you something.

I'm kind of the one that told Pam

that you and Kwame were broken up.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

ADULT DEAN: I really hoped Kim
was going to add a

"But it wasn't your fault."

She didn't.

I just don't understand
why you can't be done with Kwame.

I swear, you guys have broken up
like a thousand times.

Girls like guys like Kwame.

Even girls who know better.

Like me and Wendy.

Does that mean that there are girls

like Kwame that guys like,
even though we know better?

Uh, yeah. And Pam is one of them.

And based on the way she played you,
you better start praying now.

-(LAUGHS)
-ADULT DEAN: Damn, the future.

Look, sometimes relationships
don't make any sense,

that's why you have to make sure
you have good friends around you,

who will tell you the truth,

see things you don't see.

Obviously, I'm still looking
for good friends like that.

But-- but you've always had
a ton of friends.

Mm.

I've always been popular...

that's not the same
as having good friends.

Like you...

you have real friends.

I'm a little jealous of that.

ADULT DEAN: That was the only time
my sister ever said

she was jealous of anything I had.

What the hell?

DEAN: Those guys. (CHUCKLES)

ADULT DEAN:
And she was right to be jealous this time.

Hey. Great news, guys.
My parents are back together.

-Cool.
-That's great.

Yeah, but my dad moved back home,
so, no apartment for us.

-Aw!
-(ALL GROAN)

Looks like it's back to the diner.

Does your sister know
any more cool high school friends

we can hang out with?

She's not even working
at the diner as much.

She's got an extra job.

He's changed and he's putting on his PJs.

Dinner's in the oven
and should be ready in a few minutes.

-Cool.
-Thank you so much for babysitting.

These extra night shifts
really help me out.

I'll see you later. Bye, Dean.

-(DOOR CLOSES)
-(SIGHS)

I don't know why I'm here.

Mama's cooking is way better
than Wendy's,

and she doesn't even have a color TV.

This is what you get
for lying to our parents

about how you were
"learning responsibility"

from watching me work.

-Fine. I-- I'll watch.
-No.

This time you'll learn
from experience.

You can start by setting the table
and getting dinner out the oven.

Chad and I are hungry.
He likes his chicken strips

with extra ketchup,
and I like mine crispy.

We'll need two waters and extra napkins.

Make it snappy, sweetheart.

-(LAUGHS)
-(SIGHS)

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