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1
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:26,000
Ripped By mstoll
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Thank God you're here, Bobby.
3
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:38,790
Lori and me are gonna make out
in the janitor's closet.
4
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,086
Will you be our lookout?
5
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,709
No, I can't.
6
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:45,303
Madame Pascal makes you explain
why you're tardy in French,
7
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,798
but I can only say my name.
8
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,516
Dude.
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00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,431
Just hurry up.
10
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,606
Why aren't you in class?
11
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,779
Emily! Please don't bust me,
I was just...
12
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,322
Out of my way, you two.
13
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,788
I need some sawdust to clean up
some throw up from...
14
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,202
a kid.
15
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,791
Oh, don't go in there, sir.
16
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,708
I'm developing pictures;
they're almost set.
17
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:19,796
(moaning, smacking)
18
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:20,755
Whoa!
19
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,214
I'm calling it in.
20
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,339
I guess that's
what the law requires.
21
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,345
Whatcha gonna do, huh?
22
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,763
Huh?!
23
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,682
I'll tell you what
I'm going to do!
24
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,473
You're on my hard-hitting
expos� series,
25
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,689
To Catch A Bully.
26
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,772
Consider yourself hit hard.
27
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,566
(gasps)
28
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,235
He caught another one!
29
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,608
My affection for Miguel
is expanding
30
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,327
along with my definition
of "newsworthy."
31
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,947
Ever since Miguel started
catching bullies,
32
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,165
his approval ratings are
through the roof.
33
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:58,127
I'm supposed to be Arlen's
"Anchor You Trust."
34
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,041
Oh, Miguel is just pandering
35
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,085
to the lowest common
denominator.
36
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,129
You have to find out
who is below that
37
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,127
and aim there.
You're right, sug.
38
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,129
Let's go find a worthy cause
39
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,803
to shamelessly exploit.
40
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,721
(phone rings)
41
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,933
You do not have permission
to record this conversation.
42
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:17,975
Proceed.
43
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,223
It's Carl Moss.
44
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,599
I have Joseph in my office.
45
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,567
I need a parent to come
down and pick him up.
46
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:23,651
What happened?
47
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What's wrong with my baby boy?!
48
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,356
I'm coming.
Protect him until I get there!
49
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(Wailing);
Joseph!
50
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,533
Keys!
51
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Joseph!
52
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,155
HANK:
Principal Moss?
53
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,533
What is it? Who's in trouble--
You or Bobby?
54
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,580
Oh, good, it's Bobby.
55
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,544
All right, I'm on my way.
56
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,296
Now, why don't you
tell your father
57
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,761
what you and Lori were doing
in the janitor's closet?
58
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,300
We weren't doing anything!
59
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,513
And it wasn't even us!
60
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,678
I'm not me!
61
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,052
There's no way my Joseph
did this.
62
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,098
He's too young.
63
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,311
Smell his hair.
64
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,304
(sniffing)
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00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,352
It still has new baby smell.
66
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,397
Son, you should only agree
to be someone's lookout
67
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,395
during a time of war.
68
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,774
Now, tell me why Joseph was
in the janitor's closet.
69
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:13,243
He was just, um...
70
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,239
selling drugs.
71
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:17,364
(sighs)
72
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,787
That was an awful lie, son.
73
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,785
Terrible.
74
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:24,254
Can you believe
the nerve of Moss?
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00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,372
Saying my innocent Joseph
76
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,795
was doing something tawdry
with that girl.
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00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,088
You know, Dale,
78
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:32,088
maybe it's time you talked
to your boy about...
79
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,306
uh, relations...
80
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,426
you know, that are...
sexual in nature.
81
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,475
I remember when I got
my "birds and bees" talk.
82
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,723
Well, it was mostly
hand gestures.
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00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,772
You-you still haven't
told me what...
84
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,768
means, Hank.
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00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,441
My boy isn't old enough
for that.
86
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,781
He's still full of snips
and snails
87
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,649
and puppy dog tails.
88
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,402
He's six feet tall
and has a mustache.
89
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,404
It's time.
90
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,782
Okay, fine.
91
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,159
I'll-I'll give him
the sex talk.
92
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,752
Um, before I do that,
93
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,714
I-I have some questions
myself.
94
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,631
So, just like the daddy penguin
95
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,799
protects the egg with his fur...
96
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,217
Eh!
97
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,056
You know, this is too childish
for you.
98
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,391
Let's try this.
99
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,762
When a daddy tiger really loves
a mommy tiger--
100
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,230
Is this helpful?
101
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,268
No.
102
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,641
Are we done yet?
103
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,766
I miss Lori.
104
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,769
All I can think about
is her soft voice
105
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,646
and her soft arm hairs.
106
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,739
Nah, you're too young
for all of this!
107
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,775
Can't you see this loose girl
108
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,324
is forcing herself
onto your innocence?
109
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,946
You can't say that about her!
110
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,288
You don't even know her!
111
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,953
And soon you won't either!
112
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,791
I forbid you to see Lori!
113
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Ever again!
114
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,620
That's so unfair!
115
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,793
This is just like that movie
Romeo and Juliet
116
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,793
when the Jets attack Romeo
with their break dancing
117
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,920
to keep him
from the girl he loves!
118
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,796
You don't love Lori.
119
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,798
Love doesn't even exist.
120
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,392
It's just a chemical created
in the labs of DuPont.
121
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,760
It was an accident
122
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,354
while they were developing those
spatulas that don't melt.
123
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,598
You're just crazy.
124
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,689
Stop talking.
125
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,146
I hate you!
126
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,442
You... you hate me?
127
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,040
(sighs)
128
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,124
(gasps)
129
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,584
Maybe I can be the one
130
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,045
who figures out what's
irritating all those bowels.
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00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,630
That'll show Miguel.
132
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:31,794
Joseph,
133
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,168
let's forget all that stuff
we fought about.
134
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,717
It's Thursday night, and
you know what that means.
135
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,055
Cereal night.
136
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,048
Wrong.
137
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,221
Cereal night extreme!
138
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,685
Sha, sha, sha.
139
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,724
I bought all your
140
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,766
favorite cereals
141
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,106
to blend into one
mega-cereal:
142
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,772
Brute Fiber, Cookie Holes,
143
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,769
Baron Von Crunchberry.
144
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,693
Maybe my cereal doesn't
want to be blended.
145
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,779
Maybe it wants to be eaten
by itself
146
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,742
and date whoever it wants!
147
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,658
Oh, cheer up, sug.
148
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,251
At his age, you can't
love your parents
149
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,245
and your girlfriend
at the same time.
150
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,247
It's confusing.
151
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,794
Want me to get you some milk?
152
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:14,791
No.
153
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,795
I'll just have my cereal
with tears.
154
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,764
(sobbing)
155
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,767
Sorry I'm late.
156
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,761
You know how when
your son hates you,
157
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,765
you just want to shop
your blues away?
158
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:30,981
(sighs)
159
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,397
At least Mega-Lo Mart
still loves me.
160
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,771
They approved me
for a club card.
161
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,272
Oh, my gosh, look!
162
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,946
Dale, your real name
is on this card!
163
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,784
B-- impossible.
164
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,153
It's true.
165
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:47,784
My God-given name has been
etched in plastic.
166
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,784
(gasps)
Dale forgot
167
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,286
he thinks club cards are a way
168
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:54,039
for the government to identify
those who value a bargain!
169
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,667
Yeah, man, talkin' 'bout a dang
ol' senior moment, man.
170
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,713
(chuckles)
171
00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,594
Well, lighten up, Dale.
172
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,759
You're just distracted
by Joseph.
173
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,974
The other day I got
so worked up by Bobby,
174
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:08,061
I let the gas get so low
that the warning light came on.
175
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,771
I haven't used my real name
176
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,232
since my library card
in middle school.
177
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,396
And unless someone checks out
Superfudge,
178
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,486
my secret is safe.
179
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:19,402
I just don't know
how this happened.
180
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,703
Yeah, he's chaperoning me
to and from school now.
181
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,659
It's so embarrassing.
182
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,248
Are you talking to Lori again
183
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,082
after I told you not to?
184
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,247
No!
185
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,789
Sorry, Lori.
Go on.
186
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,333
That's it!
187
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,706
Phone privileges revoked!
188
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,250
Hey, give it back!
189
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,876
(alarm beeping)
190
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:42,800
(grunting)
191
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,093
Oh, my God, uh,
192
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,137
I can't remember the code.
193
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,134
(rapid beeping)
194
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,136
Hit the deck!
195
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,766
(alarm blares, crossbows fire, traps
pop and clatter) Aah! Duck! Aah!
196
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,314
My dad almost killed us.
197
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,778
It's so embarrassing.
198
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,772
I am going crazy.
199
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,649
Or is that crazy talk?
200
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,777
Either way, there's
a crazy element.
201
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,699
I need help.
202
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,741
Okay, my symptoms include:
forgetfulness,
203
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,784
repeating things,
204
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,786
being told I'm crazy--
205
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,585
Oh, repeating things.
206
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,457
Hello there!
207
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,255
Before I can make my diagnosis,
208
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,719
I'm going to need more
information.
209
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,550
Please take our survey:
210
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:25,798
"What's wrong with me?"
211
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,892
Sponsored by Azteca
Pharmaceuticals.
212
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,432
First question:
Are you paranoid?
213
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,725
Who wants to know?
214
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,390
Did you reply
"Who wants to know?"
215
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,983
Yes.
216
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,943
(clicking mouse)
217
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,564
Great job!
218
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,408
You've successfully completed
our survey.
219
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,654
According to your answers,
you have dementia.
220
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,782
Well, I finally figured out
221
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,784
why I can't relate to Joseph.
222
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:57,958
It's because... I have dementia.
223
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,956
Oh, my!
I know.
224
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,424
Who knows where I caught it
225
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,793
or how long I've had it.
226
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,170
I'm assuming that's
from the dementia.
227
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,922
Don't be an idiot, Dale.
228
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,923
You're just stressed out
about Joseph.
229
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,767
You're not crazy...er
than usual.
230
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,762
I almost killed my son.
231
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,764
I'm not supposed to be the one
who kills him.
232
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,766
The crushing weight
of the world is.
233
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,768
I'm a danger to my family, Hank.
234
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,362
And I know what I have to do
to keep them safe.
235
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,793
(sighs)
236
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,958
You've been expecting me.
237
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,712
Wow, nice duck.
238
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,506
High five!
239
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,553
(gasps)
240
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,676
What a realistic pencil holder.
241
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,097
High five!
242
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:59,767
(gasps) Wow, that's
a really nice, um...
243
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,768
When my son, Joseph, was a baby,
244
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,772
his favorite meal
was Play-Doh spaghetti.
245
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,773
He ate it with bugs.
246
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,947
He called it "spissghetti
and meat-bugs."
247
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:10,990
Well, great!
248
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,862
High five!
249
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,788
(gasps)
250
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,253
Dale! I hate seeing
you like this!
251
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:23,465
I always considered you
my brother, Dale.
252
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,551
And I always considered you
my neighbor, Bill.
253
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,797
(both sobbing)
254
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,423
All right, Dale,
enough is enough.
255
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,550
Get your things.
We're going home.
256
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,427
I'm not going anywhere, Hank.
257
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,599
This is where I belong now.
258
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,643
Please, remember me as a person
259
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,643
who once remembered things.
260
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,565
Ugh, dang it, this is crazy.
261
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,404
I've got to do something
about this.
262
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,398
Excuse me, who's in charge here?
263
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,741
(maniacal laugh)
264
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,733
I am!
265
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,792
Are you the doctor here?
266
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:00,785
I'm not a doctor.
267
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,207
I'm Mike Patel.
268
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,752
I own this particular franchise
of Comforting Pines.
269
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,131
Franchise?
270
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,126
Ugh, look, my friend, Dale--
271
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,799
Uh, wait, is that
272
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,796
a certificate from Whataburger?
273
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:12,797
Oh, yeah.
274
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,219
I used to own one of those.
275
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,467
Swapped it for this place.
276
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,389
The flame-broiling fad is over.
277
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,184
Are you qualified to run
this kind of facility?
278
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,148
Are you asking
if I'm qualified to care?
279
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,142
Because the answer is yes!
280
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:27,146
Thankfully, the government
doesn't regulate "care."
281
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,113
Well, either way,
what do I need to do
282
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,982
to get my friend checked
out of here?
283
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,952
Sorry, but, uh, only Mr. Gribble
can check himself out.
284
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,322
And from the looks of his art
project, he seems pretty happy.
285
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,370
Hey, you know, we're running
a special promotion,
286
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,414
if you want me to hang on
to the big guy for you.
287
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:47,753
(school bell ringing)
288
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,714
Hey,Joseph, come on.
289
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,054
The marching band left
some tubas unattended.
290
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,047
I can't.
291
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,141
Lori wants to make out
in the gym.
292
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,260
She likes it
when our kisses echo.
293
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,351
(groans)
294
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,971
That seems right up your alley.
295
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,062
What's wrong?
296
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,023
It's all happening so fast.
297
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,017
Lori says she wants
to go further.
298
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,769
What's "further"?
299
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:08,770
I dunno.
300
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,273
Maybe she wants to go
to McMaynerbury?
301
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,616
Ugh, I'm so confused.
302
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:14,655
(grunting)
303
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,995
Dude, relationships are hard!
304
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,954
(Lori giggles,
makes kissing sounds)
305
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,996
JOSEPH:
Bye,dude.
306
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,959
And that will be later
tonight on...
307
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,454
To Catch A Bully.
308
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:29,378
(sighs) This whole Dale
situation is just asinine.
309
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,342
So he hit a rough
patch with Joseph.
310
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:32,802
It's no reason to check yourself
311
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,546
into a mental institution.
312
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,797
Poor Nancy.
313
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,765
First Miguel and now this.
314
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,804
MIGUEL:
And Sunday,
315
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,393
I'll be visiting
the pregnant gorilla
316
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,978
at the Arlen Zoo.
317
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,187
How about you, Nancy?
318
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,648
Any, uh, plans this...
Glad you asked, Miguel.
319
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,564
Four million Americans suffer
from dementia,
320
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,984
and I personally know
number four million and one.
321
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,982
My husband.
322
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:58,362
I'm going to spend my weekend
raising "dementia awareness."
323
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,705
Kind of puts Miguel's
dog and pony show
324
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,075
in perspective, doesn't it?
325
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,451
(cheering)
326
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,702
Attagirl, Nancy!
327
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,711
Raise that awareness
over Miguel's head
328
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,747
and smack him with it!
329
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,668
(sighing)
330
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,170
I wish Dale was here.
331
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,922
I miss the two little me's
reflected in his sunglasses
332
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,720
when he scowls at me.
333
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,094
Hey, man, I ain't dang missin'
him one dang ol' bit, man.
334
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,720
How talkin' 'bout
makin' no claims
335
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,721
without no citations, man.
336
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,390
Gettin' on my last nerve, boy.
337
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,189
Well, I know we have to talk
some sense into Dale,
338
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,733
but maybe we don't have to
do it today.
339
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,482
It's nice to not have to face
magnetic north.
340
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,323
(sighs)
341
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,743
True north.
342
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,079
Hey, someone's breaking
343
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,952
into Dale's van!
344
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,414
Ugh!
345
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,790
Ugh. stop that!
346
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:52,790
Take a knee!
347
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,009
You go home, young lady.
348
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,509
I don't know what you think
you were doing in there,
349
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,722
but just cool it.
350
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,183
Go play a video game
351
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,769
or step on some ants
or something.
352
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,105
Actually, can I talk
to you for a second?
353
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,770
I can't talk to my dad,
'cause he's gone,
354
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,565
and I can't talk to my mom,
'cause she's gone.
355
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,777
What is it, Joseph?
356
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,364
I think Lori wants
to go all the way.
357
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,448
All the way where--
358
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,158
(sighing)
Oh, Lord.
359
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,948
I'm feeling a lot of pressure
from her,
360
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,287
and I don't know what to do.
361
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,281
Mr. Hill?
362
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,407
(truck revving)
363
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,290
Dale, you gotta
get yourself out of here!
364
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,791
Joseph and Lori are thinking
365
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,793
about "going all the way."
366
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:37,760
He's running wild.
367
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,512
He needs his father.
368
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,097
"All the way?!"
369
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,887
That's only for married people.
370
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,429
And only for a while.
371
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,304
I have to have the sex talk with
him before he makes a mistake!
372
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,680
Hang on, Joseph!
373
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,181
Daddy's coming!
374
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,183
Hello there,
Mr. Gribble.
375
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,275
We're having a
high-functioning!
376
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,735
Low-functioning mixer
in the rec room.
377
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,737
No, thanks, Patel.
I'm leaving.
378
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,773
Oh, you can't just leave.
No, no, no.
379
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,775
There's protocol and waivers
and releases.
380
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,574
There's paperwork to keep
us busy for days!
381
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,786
No time for that.
382
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,749
My boy is about to become a man
and he must be stopped!
383
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,750
(grunts)
You can't leave
384
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,752
until we establish if you're
a threat to others.
385
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,754
I'm only a threat to you!
386
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,256
(grunts)
387
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,342
Security breach!
We got a runner!
388
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,427
(alarm blaring)
What?!
389
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,342
Hmm? Come on!
390
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,384
(screaming)
391
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,802
Get back here!
392
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:24,924
Gribble!
393
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,471
Hey!
394
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,969
Cold blanket!
395
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,348
No, there's a misunderstanding!
396
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,394
Stop!
397
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,688
(screaming)
398
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,736
So cold.
399
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,161
I can't believe
this is happening.
400
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,781
I never had to cold-blanket
someone before.
401
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,078
This is not like
the burger business at all.
402
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:53,078
Dang it, Mr. Patel,
just let Dale go.
403
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,455
You can't hold him here
against his will.
404
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,799
Unfortunately,
that's what I have to do.
405
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,464
He assaulted
a franchise employee.
406
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:04,055
Comforting Pines procedure
dictates I hold him until...
407
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,424
he's no longer
"at risk."
408
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,222
There's gotta be something
you can do.
409
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,639
His son needs him.
410
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,683
Eh, you're welcome to look
through the manual.
411
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,182
But if it's not in there,
I can't do it.
412
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:21,151
(sighs) You'd think
something so complicated
413
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,366
would be a little more
pleasurable to read.
414
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,358
Wait.
415
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,780
I think I found something.
416
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:28,780
Okay, apparently,
if Dale acts crazier,
417
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,749
Comforting Pines
is required by law
418
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,745
to turn him over
to a state mental hospital
419
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,793
for an "emergency
psychiatric evaluation."
420
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:41,292
Peggy, we are trying to get
Dale out, not further in.
421
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,794
It will work, Hank.
422
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,592
Once Dale is admitted, the state
hospital will test him,
423
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,637
realize he's not crazy
and let him go.
424
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,727
(sighs)
I don't knows, Peggy.
425
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,766
Hank, either you have
Dale evaluated
426
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,265
by the same government
that runs the post office
427
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,518
or by a guy
who used to sell cheeseburgers.
428
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,519
Huh.
429
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,567
The post office.
430
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,156
All right, I'll go tell Dale.
431
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,152
Uh, as soon as Nancy comes home.
432
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,370
You don't know what love is!
433
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,956
Joseph, I assure you we do.
434
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,792
After all, we made that.
435
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,707
Oh, come on!
436
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,084
So that's it?
437
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,332
I act batty,
438
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,333
they send me
to the battier house,
439
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,801
then they let me go?
440
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,136
Yep, pretty much.
441
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,504
Think you can handle it?
442
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,472
Anything for my Joseph.
443
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,466
(whooping, cackling)
444
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,468
(maniacal laughter)
445
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,811
I got this.
446
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,650
(grunting)
447
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,764
This better work,
'cause I can't stay here.
448
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,758
This place is seriously nuts.
449
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,556
One of the patients likes me
450
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:17,055
and wants to carve
our initials in my head.
451
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,432
Calm down, Dale,
we're almost there.
452
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,526
They're just gonna ask you
some easy questions.
453
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,565
All you have to do
is act normal.
454
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,154
Anything for my son.
455
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,238
Look at him--
456
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,232
He needs me!
457
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,575
All right, let's begin.
458
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,114
Please state your name.
459
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,737
Dale Gribble.
460
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,701
On Earth.
461
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,950
On Pleiades,
it's unpronounceable.
462
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,788
Uh, Mr. Gribble,
463
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,755
do you believe people
conspire against you?
464
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,791
People. Animals.
465
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:46,758
Insects.
466
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,760
'Specially the insects.
467
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,296
You don't even want to know
468
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,300
what the bark beetle
has to say about me.
469
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,097
And everyone knows
470
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,766
what George Washington Carver
did with peanuts,
471
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,641
but nobody knows what he did
to peanuts--
472
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,688
He weaponized them.
473
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,770
Uh, thank you,
Mr. Gribble.
474
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,363
Okay, I think
we've heard enough.
475
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:08,982
Recommendation is
for commitment.
476
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,073
Commitment?!
477
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,318
No!
478
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,659
Joseph, listen to me.
479
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,455
This may be my last opportunity
to tell you this.
480
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:22,249
I know you know a thing
or two about sex.
481
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,666
You're old enough,
482
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,041
and you often forget to delete
your Internet history.
483
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,259
But you just know
the physical stuff.
484
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,252
Sex is also mental.
485
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,801
And you're too young
to handle those emotions.
486
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,765
That's why I think
you should wait.
487
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,685
My dad is not crazy.
488
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,393
Uh, yeah, he is.
489
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:46,861
According to the State of Texas.
490
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:52,488
Please, son, save
your precious flower!
491
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:02,289
Lori, I don't want to go
all the way with you.
492
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,286
What?! That's so lame!
493
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,709
Don't you want to be... cool?
494
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,798
Sorry, Lori.
495
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,713
No means no.
496
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,507
(students giggling)
497
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,880
What about going halfway?
498
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,638
This thing with Miguel--
It's like an arms race.
499
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,763
He went after bullies,
500
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,515
I countered
with dementia awareness,
501
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,732
then he started
some organization
502
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,735
called the "Society for
Children With No Bones."
503
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,067
I mean, I don't even think
that's a real thing.
504
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:36,277
Hey, that doctor probably knows
about some great new diseases.
505
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:39,247
Gotta get in
on the ground floor, sug.
506
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,786
Joseph, you did the right thing.
507
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,459
I'm so proud of you.
508
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,502
Yeah.
509
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,295
Lori broke up with me, though.
510
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,759
It hurts so much.
511
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,716
It's like my heart
is a really sad man.
512
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,714
Breakups never get easy.
513
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:57,806
You know, we should get rid
514
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,267
of those photos
of Lori on your phone.
515
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,261
Tell you what--
When I get home,
516
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,184
I'll help you smash it
to pieces.
517
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,563
I hope you get out soon.
518
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:09,606
I will.
519
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,694
Due to budget cuts,
520
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:13,565
they redefined
what constitutes insanity.
521
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,566
Guess who squeaked by?
522
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:17,443
Oh! Almost forgot.
523
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,116
I made you something.
524
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,113
Spissghetti
and meat-bugs!
525
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,865
My favorite!
526
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,739
MIGUEL:
Consider yourself hit hard.
527
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:10,500
Ripped By mstoll
528
00:22:10,550 --> 00:22:15,100
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