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1
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:26,000
Ripped By mstoll
2
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HECK: You call that
a flag, Hank?
3
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,600
Dang that Milton Street!
4
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,564
(chomping)
5
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,854
(sighs)
6
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,068
Bobby, would you do me a favor
and stand up?
7
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,233
I just want to see
if you still can.
8
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,072
(grunts)
9
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:06,863
Come on, Bobby.
10
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,110
Why don't you come out
11
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,158
and help us put up
Fourth of July decorations?
12
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,532
Thing is, Dad,
that sounds totally boring.
13
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,786
It's cool if you're into boring,
but I'm not.
14
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(Click)
15
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,507
Room, now.
16
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,875
Whatever.
17
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,844
I was kind of in the
mood for a nap anyway.
18
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,719
Almost every
got-dang word
19
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:36,848
that comes out of his mouth
lately is sarcastic.
20
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,645
And he's even lazier than usual,
21
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,187
if that's possible.
22
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:43,562
Hank, the time to shape
Bobby's character is now,
23
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,485
while the material is soft.
24
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,529
In Bobby's case,
exceptionally soft.
25
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,323
I don't know what to do here.
26
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,821
I've already taken away
27
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,538
everything Bobby considers fun,
28
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,749
except the plastic ice cubes,
29
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,163
'cause we all use 'em.
30
00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:59,878
If I had a son going through
a rebellious streak,
31
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:02,214
I would just love him out of it.
32
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,832
You rednecks are useless
33
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,505
as a bucket full of armpits!
34
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,252
No more breaks
till we figure out
35
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,380
how to make Rainey Street
Fourth of July
36
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,676
better than Milton Street's.
37
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,640
They beat us
seven years in a row,
38
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,182
but last year was the worst.
39
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,680
I want to thank you all
for coming.
40
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,101
And now,
41
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,476
I give you Washington
Crossing the Delaware...
42
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,819
in lights.
43
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(Popping)
44
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,650
(loud popping)
45
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,867
(booming and squealing)
46
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:34,705
Look! Milton Street
has real fireworks!
47
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,744
(popping and booming)
48
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,170
You can have bunting for days
49
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,885
and hot dogs that plump
to the size of footballs.
50
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,300
It's all about the sky candy.
51
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,843
Hank, I know you told me
52
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,841
to stop bringing everyone
down in the alley,
53
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,014
but I hear Heck
Dorland's in charge
54
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,012
of Milton Street
fireworks again.
55
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,309
(coughing)
56
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,728
That guy has
an unfair advantage.
57
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,146
As a former firefighter,
58
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,520
he can push
the pyrotechnic envelope
59
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,820
while still taking
all necessary precautions.
60
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,692
You better do something
fierce, Hank Hill,
61
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:15,242
before Rainey Street becomes
a poor man's Milton Street.
62
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,331
Good.
63
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,824
You're angry.
64
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,867
Now take it out on Heck Dorland!
65
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,244
You bet I will.
66
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:25,123
There's no way I'm letting
Rainey Street down again.
67
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,877
Where the heck is Bobby?
68
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,799
We're gonna be late for church.
69
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:35,095
(shouting): One minute,
45 second warning, Bobby!
70
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,816
Bobby?
71
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,484
(groaning)
72
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,073
I'm trying to sleep.
73
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,442
Well, you succeeded.
74
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,864
Now try to wake up.
75
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,158
You're not missing church
two weeks in a row.
76
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,451
What's to miss?
77
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,370
It's always-- no
room at the inn,
78
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:03,710
born in a manger,
stuff happens, the end.
79
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,455
Well, I'm sorry
if the greatest story ever told
80
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:09,334
doesn't have enough twists
and turns for you, Bobby.
81
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,881
Now get dressed
and get your butt on your bike
82
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,971
and ride to church.
83
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,640
(door closes)
84
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,760
Come on, pants.
85
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,428
I'm waitin' on you.
86
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,396
(stomach growling)
87
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,105
Large pepperoni, thick crust.
88
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,852
The cheesiest.
89
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,446
Oh. Uh...
90
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,406
cash.
91
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,285
What is wrong with you, boy?
92
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,873
Why weren't you at church?
93
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,412
I was getting ready,
94
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,287
but I worked up an appetite
looking for dress pants,
95
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:50,416
so I ordered a pizza,
and that ate up a chunk of time.
96
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,837
Where'd you get the money?
97
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,553
(gasping)
98
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,888
He stole it!
99
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,803
Hank, you check
the liquor cabinet,
100
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,801
I'll look between his toes
for needle marks!
101
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,352
Stealing money
from his own mother's purse?!
102
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,816
Who does that?
103
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,856
13 is that critical age
104
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,445
when boys come to
a fork in the road.
105
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,064
And when Bobby gets there,
106
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,408
he might use that
fork to kill us.
107
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,868
Isn't there some prison
we can take him to?
108
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,783
Make him pee
in front of some criminals.
109
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,289
That'll scare him straight.
110
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,499
Hank, maybe this is happening
111
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,118
because Bobby keeps
missing church.
112
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,870
We need to get him back on
the right spiritual path,
113
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:32,170
even if we have to prop him
up and shove him down it.
114
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,382
(Lucky clears his throat)
115
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,594
If you can forgive
my eavesdropping,
116
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,883
I can help your boy
with his sins.
117
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,847
I'll take him to my church.
118
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,183
Your church?
119
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,801
Uh, that, uh...
120
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,098
Uh, n-no.
121
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,846
We cannot afford
to wait another week.
122
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,848
Church is church,
no matter how much
123
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,850
Lucky makes it sound
like a restaurant.
124
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,773
Please let him go, Uncle Hank.
125
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,860
I'm begging you!
126
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,106
I don't want Bobby
to steal my baby
127
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,732
and use her to buy pizza!
128
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,783
(loud screaming)
129
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,371
This is your church?
130
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,037
It sounds like
somebody's dying in there.
131
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,329
No, Bobby.
132
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,828
Someone's being born.
133
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,709
We are all sinners!
134
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,506
Each and every one of us.
135
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,878
Sinner... sinner...
136
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,346
big sinner...
137
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,714
who repented!
138
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,591
The wise karate man knew
139
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,515
the unrighteous shall not
inherit the kingdom.
140
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:26,682
Amen!
Hallelujah!
141
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,680
Not the murderers, heretics,
142
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,024
liars, the fornicators!
143
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,270
Especially not the fornicators.
144
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:36,647
I used to be one of them.
145
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,865
They will burn!
146
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:41,781
And hell is all kinds of hot,
my friends.
147
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,279
You burn yourself on the stove--
That's hot, right?
148
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,203
Icy cold, compared to hell.
149
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,667
Lucky, can I hold your hand?
150
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,879
If you want, you can hold both.
151
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,214
Is there anyone here
152
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,049
who is not on a first name basis
with the Lord?
153
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,170
Any newcomers in the house?
154
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,263
Got one right here.
155
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,471
(grunting)
156
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,842
What's your name, son?
157
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,309
Bobby Hill.
158
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,724
Walk with me, friend.
159
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,518
Have you sinned, son?
160
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,140
Have you cheated, lied,
161
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,063
stolen, coveted,
162
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:17,063
idolated, been sloth-like?
163
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,774
I've done all those things.
164
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,493
I have disrespected my elders.
165
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,078
I have been slothful
166
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,540
in virtually every room
of my house!
167
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,875
I even stole from my mother.
168
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,084
He stole from his mother!
169
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,374
Praise be the Lord!
170
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,873
I feel so awful!
171
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,876
I have a question
for you, Bobby Hill.
172
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,877
Do you want salvation?
173
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,879
Yes, sir, I do.
174
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,803
Let me ask again,
just to be sure.
175
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,767
Do you want salvation?
176
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,850
Do you kind of want it,
or do you really want it?
177
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,018
Do you want salvation?
178
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:57,144
Do you, Bobby Hill,
want salvation?
179
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,440
I want it!
180
00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,688
I want it bad!
181
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,032
I want salvation!
182
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,446
Welcome to the
kingdom of heaven.
183
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,069
I am saved!
184
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,538
Hallelujah!
185
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,875
? (up-tempo gospel plays)
Are you ready for a miracle ?
186
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,834
? Yeah!
Ready as I can be ?
187
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,625
? Are you ready
for a miracle ?
188
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,088
? Spirit will set you free... ?
189
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,836
I got so worked up about Bobby
190
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,304
and this deal
with Milton Street,
191
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,599
I accidentally put 87
octane in the truck.
192
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,016
I guess I'll be knocking
193
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,432
and pinging my way
through this tank.
194
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,772
There they are.
195
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,604
Ooh, I hope Lucky's
church fixed him.
196
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,317
Hey, guys, guess what?
197
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,777
I've been saved!
198
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,155
The preacher said
I was in a bad place,
199
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,444
and if I didn't change,
200
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,408
the devil would burn
all my skin off.
201
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,822
Well, all right, Bobby.
202
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,241
Sounds like they talked
some sense into you.
203
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,864
They sure did.
204
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,457
I'm gonna go clean my room now.
205
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,703
You can't be pure of heart
if you're not pure of room.
206
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,830
Good night and God bless.
207
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,509
Peggy, just to make sure
we out-do Heck Dorland,
208
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,131
me and the guys are heading out
209
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,384
to John Redcorn's
fireworks stand.
210
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,101
Now, I know it's dangerous,
211
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,846
but now is not the time
to play it safe.
212
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,848
All right then.
Be careful.
213
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,850
Mom, I'm gonna be home late.
214
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:22,480
I got to spread the good word
and reach into the fires of hell
215
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,776
with Jesus's oven mitts
216
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,820
and save a few souls
from getting extra crispy!
217
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,405
All right then.
Be careful.
218
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,582
Dag nab it!
219
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,205
Talk amongst it.
220
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,082
What in the heck are you doing?
221
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,880
Saving souls, sir.
222
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,128
And I can see
yours is up for grabs.
223
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:50,223
So why not repent
right here, right now?
224
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,432
Get out of here, Bobby.
225
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,426
If those kids could read,
226
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,394
they'd be very upset.
227
00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,770
Here you go, sinner.
228
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,518
This is for you, sinner.
229
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,486
And one for you, sinner.
230
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:06,735
Fornicator!
231
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,859
You're all fornicators!
232
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,360
And if you do not repent,
233
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,239
you will face severe punishment
on judgment day!
234
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:16,833
That's right, fornicators,
I'm talking to you!
235
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:22,589
Who will join me
in the fountain?
236
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:26,084
Come on, let us wash away
our sins.
237
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,718
Don't shake your head at me,
sir.
238
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,842
I can tell from here that you
are a for--
239
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,140
BOBBY: Attention, shoppers!
240
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:39,390
You cannot buy salvation!
241
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,859
These sparklers will blow
your mind, Hank.
242
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,273
When you write in the air,
243
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,648
the words will stay there
for almost a second.
244
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,447
For the last time, John Redcorn,
I am not a narc.
245
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,695
Now, I've got a stack of 20s
246
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,697
and a tarp for the back
of my truck.
247
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,914
Let's make this happen.
248
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,585
Be careful.
249
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,250
Some of these are illegal.
250
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,462
In Mexico.
251
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,258
ALL:
Ooh!
252
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,094
HANK: Boy, wait'll Heck Dorland
sees all this.
253
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:13,306
Have you ever seen a grown
man cry besides Bill?
254
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,845
Well, you're about to.
255
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,812
Uh... I guess we've all
seen Dale cry, too.
256
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,689
All right, here we go.
257
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,649
Get ready for some taunting.
258
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,155
Hey, Heck,
259
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,869
we just wanted to
invite you over
260
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,863
for a real fireworks display.
261
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,536
You're gonna see it
from here anyway,
262
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,454
you may as well have
a front row seat.
263
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,875
Well, thanks, Hank, I'd love to
see your little sparkler show,
264
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,463
but I'll have my
flame-resistant,
265
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,332
Kevlar-protected hands full.
266
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,380
Oh, and, uh, dibs on the alley--
267
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,093
I'm gonna need room
for a cherry picker
268
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,883
and two forklifts.
269
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:53,880
Cherry picker?!
270
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,802
Damn it!
271
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,682
(engine revving)
272
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:04,308
What can we do to top Heck
Dorland's cherry picker?
273
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:07,311
We need one of those inflatable
things that, that goes like...
274
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,812
(spluttering)
275
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,856
I've been saving these plans
276
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,029
for our nation's
sesqui-bicentennial.
277
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,995
But dang it,
we're in a crisis situation.
278
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,453
? ?
279
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,267
? ?
280
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,568
Hank Hill, is there anything
you cannot do in this garage?
281
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,110
Yep, I know what I've said
282
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,109
about papier-m�ch�
in the past,
283
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:59,158
but for my country
and to shut up Milton Street,
284
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:02,202
I was willing
to put my contempt aside.
285
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,084
Lucky's church was great!
286
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:07,078
We pulled down the devil's pants
287
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:09,080
and spanked his evil red butt.
288
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,082
How was your church, Dad?
289
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,710
Well, I didn't make it
to services this morning, Bobby.
290
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,303
I was kinda busy here.
291
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,594
You chose Uncle Sam
292
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,468
over worshipping our Lord
and Savior?
293
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,435
Interesting.
294
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,406
Lord, please forgive my dad
295
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,449
for worshipping false idols.
296
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,493
Amen.
297
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:46,413
I smite thee in the name
of the Lord!
298
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,463
Well, it's getting windy.
299
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,709
I better go make sure
Uncle Sam's head
300
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,676
isn't exposed to the elements.
301
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:57,970
(gasps)
302
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,808
(coughing)
303
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:05,811
(gasps)
304
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,064
Oh, Hank.
305
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,059
Uncle Sam is gone, Peggy.
306
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,857
He's... he's gone.
307
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,479
It's okay, Dad,
308
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,856
this is a good thing.
309
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,152
You're free now.
310
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,367
Who could have done
such a heinous thing?
311
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,158
Don't you mean righteous?
312
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,245
I know who.
313
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,409
Heck Dorland.
314
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,874
And he is gonna have hell
to pay.
315
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,871
That bastard fireman and
everyone else on Milton Street.
316
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,838
This means war.
317
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,349
(indistinct chatter)
318
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:46,311
HANK: Can I have
everyone's attention?
319
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,146
Now, this is all that remains
of Uncle Sam.
320
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,560
(gasping)
321
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,853
But it's enough to see
322
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,523
that the people of Milton Street
are barbarians.
323
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:57,864
And now,
though I'm reluctant to do so,
324
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:02,201
I'm turning it over to Dale,
an expert in counterattacks.
325
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:11,036
I have identified three Milton
Street targets
326
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:14,881
we need to hit to disable
their July Fourth celebration.
327
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:18,718
Heck has stored the Milton
decorations here,
328
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,427
the food here,
329
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,843
and their fireworks here.
330
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,718
And not to worry,
our own fireworks are safe.
331
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,184
Yep. At this very moment
332
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,804
they are on an 18-wheeler,
heading northwest
333
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,814
at approximately
90 miles an hour.
334
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,816
They're in Kahn's shed.
335
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,818
So you didn't go with
my plan, then?
336
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,024
BOBBY:
Dad?
337
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,818
I have something important
to tell you.
338
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,818
Unless it's something about Heck
Dorland, it can wait.
339
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,819
(whimpers)
340
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,419
(drill whirring)
341
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,676
(grunts)
342
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,133
What's all the ruckus?
343
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:10,137
Hey, my twinkly lights
went missing.
344
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,184
(Bill grunting)
345
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,148
Rainey Street's been here!
346
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,859
Are you sure he didn't see me?
347
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:17,852
Heck's a fireman!
348
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,320
If he can see through fire,
349
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,859
he can probably see
through dark.
350
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:23,324
There's no way they can
tie us to the crime.
351
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,738
No got-dang way.
352
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,701
HECK (whispering):
Here.
353
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,488
I recognize that head.
354
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,206
That's Heck Dorland's cowlick!
355
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,871
We've got to protect
our fireworks!
356
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:32,867
(explosion)
357
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:33,868
No!
358
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:36,838
Happy Fourth, suckers!
359
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,643
HANK: Okay, we're gonna bombard
them with rotten eggs,
360
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,062
fruit, incendiary
dog bombs--
361
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,527
And sooner or later,
they'll take off to shower,
362
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,613
leaving the shed exposed.
363
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,698
I think it's great how our hate
for other people
364
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,111
brings us together.
365
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,155
I love you guys.
366
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,528
Please help me.
367
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,030
I'm trying to do your will,
368
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,031
but I'm just making things
worse.
369
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,080
I-Is that your will?
370
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,078
C'mon, give me a sign!
371
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,876
Anything!
372
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,873
Yes!
373
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,594
Wait, that's too vague,
I-I don't get it.
374
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,587
Come on, Bobby,
your dad asked us
375
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,591
to gather as much Ladybird poop
as we can find.
376
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,013
We're moving out at 2100 hours.
377
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,011
I don't know how many
o'clocks that is,
378
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,264
but we'll figure it out
together.
379
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,857
Lucky, you gotta help me.
380
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,146
I'm the one
who destroyed Uncle Sam,
381
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,190
not Milton Street.
382
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,405
Oh, Bobby, that's bad.
383
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,024
That's real bad.
384
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,867
When I saw my dad going
off the righteous path
385
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,863
I just wanted to keep him
from going to hell.
386
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,330
You took the wrong message
387
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,745
from what that preacher was
screaming at you.
388
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,869
You shouldn't go
throwing rocks at others
389
00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:01,042
until you've thrown a bunch
of rocks at yourself.
390
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,008
Ah, I guess you're right.
391
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,879
Besides, saving souls
ain't your job.
392
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,879
That position has been filled--
393
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,847
In heaven by the Big Man,
394
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,810
and on screen by Morgan Freeman.
395
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,861
BOOMHAUER: Load up'n 'em
dang ol' fruit, man.
396
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,447
Dang ol' fire!
397
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,440
(groaning)
398
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,657
Take cover!
399
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,651
That's it, I'm showering.
400
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,653
Done!
401
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:36,533
Dang Rainey Streeters are full
to brimmin' with biodegradables.
402
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,536
I may have to turn my fire
hose on those sons of bitches.
403
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:40,878
Do it, Heck.
Just do it.
404
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,872
You said-- you said it,
you must want to do it.
405
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,874
Do it. Go on, do it.
Do it!
406
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,876
I'm breakin' out the hose.
407
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,253
We're doing it!
408
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:52,090
They're down to two Miltonians!
409
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,808
Come on, let's go steal
their fireworks!
410
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,268
He's got a fire hose!
Get back!
411
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,774
(Dale screaming and spluttering)
412
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:05,778
(gasping and clamoring)
413
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:07,358
BOBBY:
Wait!
414
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,733
This is a call for peace.
415
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,279
Hank, that's-that's
Bobby!
416
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,705
Cease fire!
417
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:18,829
It's just a boy!
418
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,868
Milton Street, hold your fire!
419
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,370
Hold your fire!
420
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,590
Neighbors, you fight
a senseless war.
421
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,879
Milton Street is innocent.
422
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:31,721
I-I wrecked Uncle Sam,
and I worked alone.
423
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,511
And I let you Milton guys
take the fall.
424
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,351
For that, I am really sorry.
425
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:43,645
July Fourth is supposed to be a
coming-together-style holiday.
426
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,645
BOBBY: Sure, we may be
from different streets,
427
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,648
but we all love the same things:
428
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,649
fireworks, hot dogs,
429
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,777
potato salad, fixin's.
430
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,786
So let's focus on that--
431
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,619
'cause America's having
a birthday tomorrow,
432
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,662
and we're all invited!
433
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,456
(excited chatter)
434
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,170
Dad, I'm sorry.
435
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,588
It's okay, son.
436
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,586
You did a stupid,
reckless thing,
437
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,883
but you made it right.
438
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,382
We raised a good boy, Hank.
439
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,850
Yes, we did.
440
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,391
A boy who's gonna continue
to do the right thing
441
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,390
by cleaning up every
bit of this mess.
442
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,811
Okay.
443
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:27,814
What the...?!
Can't you see
444
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,524
Bobby's a decoy?
445
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,864
Long live Rainey Street!
446
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,860
That was a direct hit
to my fireworks stash!
447
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,236
Duck and cover!
448
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,203
Let's get out of here!
(frantic screaming)
449
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,750
Happy Fourth, Hank.
450
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,127
Uh, stopped by to see
451
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:55,050
if y'all had any fireworks left.
452
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,857
Happy Fourth!
453
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,226
Where's that kid from?
454
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,602
Applebee Street.
455
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,855
Applebee sucks.
456
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,822
Agreed.
457
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:54,985
BOBBY: I want salvation!
458
00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:05,500
Ripped By mstoll
459
00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:10,100
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