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1
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,837
I can't believe another
Heimlich County Pork Festival's
2
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,096
almost here.
3
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,831
This year we're
gonna have to get
4
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,806
Bill's cholesterol tested
every hour.
5
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:44,071
Just remember
to keep your fingers
6
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,440
away from my mouth.
7
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,015
Once I'm in the zone,
I can't tell the difference.
8
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,514
Hey, it's seven
after the hour.
9
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,118
Let's see what kind
of weather
10
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,548
my Nancy's predicting.
11
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:56,850
Even an inch tall and
ashen gray, she's beautiful.
12
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,823
The weather's going to be
sunny and clear,
13
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:00,120
not a chance of drizzle,
14
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,024
so come on down and watch
those pigs sizzle.
15
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,493
I'll be there to sign autographs
16
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,065
outside the Hall
of Ham Presidents.
17
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:06,723
All right!
18
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:10,030
I love James K. Pork.
19
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:12,803
NANCY: Thanks
for your help, Peggy,
20
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,772
but try not to sign
across my face.
21
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:15,842
Oh, and don't sign
22
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,707
across my cleavage either.
23
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,939
Or, as one of my fans calls
it, my warm fronts.
24
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,049
Oops, I must be getting tired.
25
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,551
I signed this one
"Peggy Hill" by mistake.
26
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,383
Well, no matter, now
it's a collector's item.
27
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,489
Can't stop yet, sug.
28
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,319
The weather outlook is so sunny,
29
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,927
we could be talking
demolition derby-size crowds.
30
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:42,168
Did you realize I make your B's
just like a serial killer?
31
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,645
Well, this ruins my water cooler
talk for Monday.
32
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:55,906
And Tuesday.
33
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:56,914
Delayed
for wind?
34
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,779
Sure, it's a little breezy,
35
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,250
but it's not that bad.
36
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:05,152
Whoa!
37
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,487
{ loud crash )
38
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,867
Nancy, fans!
39
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,238
I look forward to
the Pork Festival all year
40
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,673
and your weather ruined it!
41
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,405
Can you accurately
predict
42
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,811
what my finger's going to do?
43
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,453
It's not my fault
I got the weather wrong.
44
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,284
I just read it off
the TelePrompTer.
45
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,415
My job is
to pronounce it,
46
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,390
not predict it.
47
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:41,722
Oh, don't feel so bad.
48
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,627
You know what they say
about the weather in Texas:
49
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,257
if you don't like it,
just wait five minutes.
50
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:48,664
( Thunder crashing )
51
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,095
Sometimes it takes ten.
52
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,667
Maybe we should go.
53
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,917
We're square dancing
in PE today.
54
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,042
I'm do-si-do-ing
with you, Cherise!
55
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,746
( Barking )
(yells)
56
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,851
You thought
he was a dog.
57
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,425
Oh, God, what a horrible day.
58
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,536
At least it looks like you got
a nice new pair of boots.
59
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,434
Thanks for noticing.
Oh, can you ask me
60
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,506
where I got them
when we're on the air, sug?
61
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,698
That way they're free.
62
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,364
Understood.
63
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,308
I get a free dinner every time
I mention the Barbecue Hut.
64
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,435
Hmm.
65
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,945
MAN:
Damn it, Nancy.
66
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,674
People are really ticked off
about your forecast.
67
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,079
Our phones are ringing
off the hook.
68
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,379
What am I
supposed to do?
69
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,043
The only equipment I have
is a thermometer
70
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,882
and a little glass skunk
whose tail turns blue
71
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:42,978
when it's humid.
72
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,114
I know, I know.
73
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,624
Wait, what about
the Super Doppler
74
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,522
we're always advertising?
75
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,560
We don't really have one.
76
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,891
We just wrote "Doppler"
77
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,464
on the air conditioning unit
on the roof.
78
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,066
Channel 4's got one.
79
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,361
Televiso's got one.
80
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:55,526
Well, we got to do something.
81
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,034
The FCC's cracking down
on everyone.
82
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,569
They won't let us keep calling
it AccuWeather
83
00:03:58,672 --> 00:03:59,696
if you keep getting it wrong.
84
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,102
Well, then get me
a Doppler
85
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,005
or whatever can predict
the weather better
86
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,942
so I don't look like
a jackass again, sug!
87
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,843
( Barking )
(yells)
88
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,044
{( laughing )
89
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,188
Hi, Bobby.
90
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,224
(yells)
91
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,554
What's the matter with you?
92
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,627
( Sighs)
93
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,923
It's Jimmy Bearden!
94
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,327
I made eye contact
with him one day,
95
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,662
and ever since he's been
out to get me.
96
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,166
( Whimpers )
97
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,260
Do you hear the barking?
98
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:32,997
It's all around us.
99
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,904
Are the puffy clouds
good or bad?
100
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,603
Check it out, Nancy.
101
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,147
Doppler radar. NWS link.
102
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,010
Graphics computers. The works.
103
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,242
Channel 84 is in
104
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,784
the 21st century
of weather forecasting.
105
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,477
Oh, thank God.
106
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:55,020
Forecast for Arlen, please.
107
00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,129
Don't worry about how any
of this stuff works, Nancy.
108
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,529
That's what Irv's here for.
109
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,602
Meet Irv Bennett.
110
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,397
Fresh from Texas Tech's
111
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,562
Meteorological School.
112
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,265
Great to meet you,
Ms. Hicks-Gribble.
113
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:08,966
I know this is kind of lame,
114
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,339
but I have a printout of that
tornado that moved through here
115
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,445
in August of 2001.
116
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,672
Could you sign it?
117
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:14,872
Whatever, sug.
118
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,278
I'm just glad
I finally have someone
119
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,578
to do my science for me.
120
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,185
( Phone ringing )
Oh, and to answer my phone.
121
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:21,081
Can you always say,
"I'll see if she's available"
122
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,380
even when I am available?
123
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:23,647
Can do.
124
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,415
Whoa, Irv, you don't
have time for that.
125
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,685
Sure he does.
126
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:27,692
Don't let it get to five rings
127
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,353
or the voice mail will pick up.
128
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,396
Just move it. You've got to get
into makeup for the 5:00 report.
129
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,624
I'm on it.
130
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,825
Makeup?
Oh, don't worry, Tom.
131
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:38,005
I'll make sure I don't walk so
far that he gets in the shot.
132
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,232
Nancy, uh...
133
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,433
Irv's going to be doing
the weather from now on.
134
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:42,440
What?
135
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,441
Am I being fired?
136
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:44,806
Now? No. We're a family.
137
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,936
I'm sure we'll find
something for you.
138
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,911
But the thing is,
viewers don't want
139
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,176
to be entertained
by a "weather girl" anymore.
140
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:52,444
They want meteorologists
141
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:53,883
who, who understand
weather
142
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,748
and can update them immediately.
143
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,390
But-but what about me?
144
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,616
Hey, why don't you man
the weather phone?
145
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,956
But everybody knows the weather
phone's just the fax machine.
146
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,493
( Water cooler gurgling )
147
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:17,367
...You combine that
split-level jet stream
148
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,308
with a high pressure system
swooping down from Canada,
149
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:20,914
and you've got classic
tornado weather
150
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,207
and possible wildfire
conditions.
151
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,079
I'll be tracking
the developments
152
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,310
and keep you posted.
153
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,544
Weather can be tracked?
154
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:27,847
He's good.
155
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,649
There are parts
of this forest...
156
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:33,954
Wow, zero percent chance
of charm or what, huh?
157
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,561
( Sighs)
158
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,757
How could we be defeated
by a man named Irv?
159
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,128
Oh, would you calm down.
160
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,793
Nancy, you may look like
a Southern belle,
161
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,429
but deep inside you are
pure Rottweiler.
162
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:48,473
Think of how many lives
you ruined in high school.
163
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,236
Heck, I've seen you break up
entire baby showers
164
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,641
with one catty remark.
165
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,804
You're right.
166
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,884
Irv's not going to know
what hit him.
167
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,551
HANK:
Steak's on.
168
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,284
Bobby, what in the heck
is wrong with you?
169
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,827
Sorry, Dad.
170
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:11,591
I'm just a little on edge
because of this bully at school.
171
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,166
Well, what's he doing to you?
172
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,665
Indian burns? Towel snaps?
173
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,065
Those are the ones
you got to be careful of.
174
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,672
No, he's jumping out
and scaring me.
175
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,274
Well, how's he doing that?
176
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,773
Is he big for his age?
177
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,641
Or does he have some of those
Chinese fighting sticks?
178
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:28,442
No. He jumps out
and makes a weird noise.
179
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:33,315
Oh. Well, we're not going
to the principal on this one.
180
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,354
Okay, we've been
through this before.
181
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,922
You need to fake
with your right
182
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,489
and jab him
with your left.
183
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:39,887
Come on. Try it.
184
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,129
( Grunting ineffectually )
185
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:50,365
Why don't you find his schedule
and try to stay away from him?
186
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,952
Hey, there, Irv-y Derv.
187
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,919
So you must have
some wild stories
188
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,561
about your days
at Texas Tech.
189
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,389
Ever have a few drinks,
190
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,363
start roughhousing with some
of your frat brothers...
191
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,932
maybe in the shower...
192
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,671
and things got
a little out of hand?
193
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:26,901
You remember when
194
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,871
that arctic air blast
came through?
195
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,238
You know, the one
that had
196
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,742
all that heavy backlash precip
behind it?
197
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,040
Well, me and my buddies stood
outside all night long
198
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,115
to understand what seven degrees
Fahrenheit felt like.
199
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,774
I mean, sure, we
could've just found
200
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,943
some walk-in freezer,
but it's not the same.
201
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:47,616
It must be nerve-wracking going
on air for the first time.
202
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,320
Do you ever get scared
203
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,955
that you will freeze up,
on camera,
204
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:55,068
and just stand there
with nothing to say?
205
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,828
Oh, there's always
something to say
206
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,369
about the weather around here.
207
00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,267
Tornadoes, cyclones,
208
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,896
floods,
209
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,599
heat waves,
of course...
210
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,835
not to mention hurricanes.
211
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,468
Show time, Irv.
212
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,477
All right!
213
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,885
Oh, my God, your nose is huge.
214
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,717
I do have a honker,
don't1?
215
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,225
You sure do.
216
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,920
And the camera
adds ten pounds,
217
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,393
but I'm sure it won't
all go to your nose.
218
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,635
Whoo, it's gonna be
a hot one today, folks.
219
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,296
So find some shade
wherever you can.
220
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,636
Hey, I bet my nose could
shade most of South Arlen.
221
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:36,834
( Chuckles )
222
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,035
You might want
to back up camera one,
223
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,111
because I'm about to turn here.
224
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,474
( laughter)
225
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,311
I bet I'm a rhinoplastician's
dream.
226
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,578
Don't you mean rhinoceros?
227
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,187
I mean rhinoplastician.
228
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,880
You know...
229
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,150
rhinoplasty?
230
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,184
By a plastic surgeon?
231
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,023
But with this nose,
232
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,757
I'm probably
a rhinoceros's dream, too.
233
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,265
laughter)
Good one.
234
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,527
High five, Miguel.
235
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,631
Huh... I never really knew
what they meant
236
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:09,867
when they said
mild weather,
237
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,740
but dang if it doesn't
feel mild out here.
238
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,313
Damn that
Irv Bennett.
239
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,211
It's like he makes the weather.
240
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,580
Him and those damn machines
of his.
241
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,379
This guy's got to go.
242
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,921
If he keeps this up,
they're gonna fire Nancy.
243
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,420
If they fire Nancy,
244
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,922
she won't be able
to keep paying me
245
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,549
to sit around the house
and do nothing.
246
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,355
You know, Dale,
you could help out
247
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,123
by cutting down
on your expenses.
248
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,858
Maybe instead
of buying more guns
249
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,058
you can enjoy
the ones you have.
250
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,863
Or maybe I could just help Nancy
get rid of this guy.
251
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,904
It's time to give him a scare
252
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:42,632
like so many possums
have given me.
253
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,345
Last night
I watched the news
254
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,470
and pretended Irv
and I were talking.
255
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,913
He'd say,
"How 'bout that weather?"
256
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,848
And I'd say, "It's fine, Irv.
257
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,920
Would you like
some Swiss Miss pudding?"
258
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,296
MIGUEL:
Iss-ton-bowl...
259
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,329
Ees-tin-ball.
260
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,228
Today the mayor
of Ees-ton-bowl...
261
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,594
( phone ringing )
262
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,038
Irv Bennett's desk.
263
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:17,667
DISTORTED VOICE:
Get out, weather man!
264
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:20,108
A pain front is coming!
265
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,270
Leave town!
266
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,473
Dale?
267
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:23,913
Nancy?
268
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,881
What are you doing, Dale?
269
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,146
Getting rid of Irv for you.
270
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,686
Could you leave a message
I called?
271
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,688
Not me, but Me!
272
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,087
TOM:
Attention, everybody!
273
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,217
Irv just informed me
we've got a wildfire!
274
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,691
Now, listen up:
275
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,354
I want us ready to go
to News Team coverage
276
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:38,658
as soon as this Seinfeld ends!
277
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:39,663
Miguel, you'll lead
and throw to Irv,
278
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,062
who'll be here in studio.
279
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:41,667
We need all hands
on this one, people!
280
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:42,666
Where do you want me?
281
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:43,928
You can head home.
282
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,231
We might need
to use your desk
283
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,032
in case the cameramen
need to sleep in shifts.
284
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,348
Are those the pants
you went to school in?
285
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,642
No, Dad.
286
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:59,775
Jimmy Bearden scared me,
and I peed myself,
287
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,944
so they gave me
"lost and found" pants.
288
00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:03,145
Are you happy?
289
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,018
No. What happened?
290
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,592
( Sighs)
291
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,490
You know that little conveyor
belt in the cafeteria
292
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,393
that takes your tray?
293
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,554
He was on it!
294
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,631
( Sighs)
295
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:13,926
Get in the truck, Bobby.
296
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,364
We're going to fix
your problem for good.
297
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,303
Ohh...
298
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,667
Go change your pants, son.
299
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,341
TV ANNOUNCER:
And now
300
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,607
Action News
from Channel 84's news team:
301
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,205
Miguel Hernandez,
302
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,580
Don Ringle with sports,
303
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,153
and meteorologist Irv Bennett
304
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,517
with the latest
on the wildfires.
305
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,614
Oh, you call that
a turnaround?
306
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,954
Tell me, can that
compare to this?
307
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,152
PEGGY:
Wow.
308
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,197
That is almost
too powerful in person.
309
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,858
Oh, thanks, sug,
310
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,526
but I know I'm finished
as a weather gal.
311
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,229
I don't even know if I
want to work in an industry
312
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:52,862
that values brains
over beauty.
313
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,633
So you're just gonna give up?
314
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,300
That's not the Nancy
I know.
315
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,069
When are you going
to learn
316
00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:00,111
that the real Doppler
is in here?
317
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,044
And that if you want
to keep your job,
318
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,809
you're going to have to do
everything in your power
319
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:05,042
to fight for it.
320
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,482
What do you mean?
Kill Irv?
321
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,486
No! Use the fire.
322
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:09,282
To kill Irv?
323
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,049
No!
324
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:11,180
Nancy, you cannot wait
325
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,292
for them to bring
the news to you.
326
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,487
You have to go out
and find it.
327
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,223
We'll go cover the fire
and force the station to see
328
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:19,627
how much of an asset you are.
329
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,359
Yeah...
330
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,401
Dale! Get out
of the hot tub!
331
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,198
We're stealing
a news van!
332
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,171
DALE:
It's the perfect crime!
333
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,241
How will they ever
report it?
334
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,436
The thing is, Mr. Bearden,
335
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,706
your son
has left Bobby here,
336
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:37,680
uh, severely startled
on several occasions.
337
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:38,945
Where is Jimmy anyway?
338
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:39,949
You didn't see him outside?
339
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,882
He said he was going outside!
340
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,250
I'm sorry, Mr. Hill.
341
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,549
He does the same thing to me.
342
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,216
I can't help you.
343
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:49,385
Okay, it looks like you've got
a straight shot to your truck.
344
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,429
Watch out when you pass
that mailbox, though.
345
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,464
That kid can wedge himself
into anything.
346
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,961
( Barking and screaming )
347
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:11,215
Okay. If we get stopped,
Nancy, you work here,
348
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,785
I'm looking
for directions,
349
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,353
and Peggy, you're
my shy assistant
350
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:15,544
with a speech impediment.
351
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,951
Go.
352
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,237
Hola, sefior.
353
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:46,717
I am Miguel Hernandez,
here to cover e/ fuego de wild.
354
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:47,945
Perfect.
355
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,350
You know the drill.
356
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,650
Stay in the media area.
357
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:57,953
NANCY:
Oh, forget it, sugs.
358
00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,826
Everyone's already here.
359
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,832
And Lucy Murphy
from Channel 7
360
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,333
is wearing the same jacket| am.
361
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,165
What am I gonna get
that they won't?
362
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,296
You cannot give up now.
363
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,635
We already stole a van.
364
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,072
We have got
more initiative.
365
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,234
We're better than these sheep!
366
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,473
Yeah, you can barely
see the fire from here.
367
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,606
Let's go to where you can
hardly see here from the fire!
368
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:18,775
Ooh, there's
369
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,249
an access road.
Drive up it
370
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,479
real casual like.
371
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,782
Got ya.
372
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,085
( Dale humming )
373
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,628
{( laughing )
374
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,630
Oh, while those chumps
are down there looking at smoke,
375
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,359
we'll be in the heart
of the action.
376
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,766
The forecast for my career:
hot, hot, hot!
377
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:38,962
( Cheering and yelling )
378
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,975
I am so excited!
379
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,382
They said I was just
a flash in the pan.
380
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,079
Well, now I am
in the pan, sug.
381
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,918
I am in the pan!
382
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,891
People might lose their homes,
but you will get your job back.
383
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,757
At least something good
will come out of this.
384
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,456
It's like smoking
every cigarette
385
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,726
I've ever smoked
all at once.
386
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,427
( Inhales )
387
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,402
( Coughing )
388
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,200
Smooth.
389
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,207
Oh, will you look:
390
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,607
that eagle is carrying
that rabbit out of harm's way.
391
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:21,441
Disaster brings out the best
in everyone.
392
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,743
Come on.
Let's get broadcasting.
393
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,147
Oh, my God,
that tree's on fire!
394
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:27,184
Nancy, go.
395
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,583
Go stand in front of it!
396
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:35,160
You're on!
397
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,392
No, this is not a home movie
in hell.
398
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,469
This is Nancy Hicks-Gribble
reporting live
399
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,697
from the scene
of the Heimlich wildfire.
400
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,272
Tonight's forecast
is for mid-70s
401
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,067
in the tri-county area
402
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:50,869
and the high 250s near here
in the heart of the blaze.
403
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,705
( loud crackling)
404
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,947
The fire is being fueled
by extraordinarily...
405
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:03,114
What's Nancy
doing out there?
406
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:04,485
As you can see behind me--
407
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,752
As well as in front of me,
and on either side--
408
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,829
What once was mere heat
is now actual fire.
409
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,225
Oh, oh, oh...
410
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,662
As our more observant viewers
can probably hear,
411
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:16,200
I'm having trouble breathing
with all the smoke.
412
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:19,067
My tongue has dried out and is
starting to stick to my teeth.
413
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,436
Either my eye
or my eyepiece is melting!
414
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,572
( Screaming )
415
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,144
Well, that's probably
Mother Nature's way
416
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,678
of giving us
the wrap-it-up sign.
417
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,509
This has been
Nancy Hicks-Gribble...
418
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,743
No! No, not "has been"--
"still is"!
419
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,147
Keep going, Nancy!
420
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,583
We need our money shot!
421
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:39,190
There's your money shot.
422
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:40,417
Happy?!
423
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,221
Okay, let's get to the van.
424
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:44,022
But we have to keep rolling,
people!
425
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:45,854
How do we get
426
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,466
this on there...
427
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,659
and that off there?
428
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,296
We interrupt our Wildfire Watch
coverage to bring you...
429
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,272
Really? I thought
she was at home.
430
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,672
To put it in layman's terms,
431
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,211
imagine crawling
in your own fireplace
432
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,212
while it's burning.
433
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,247
I want to see this footage
434
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,281
on every promo from now
435
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:04,941
until the Christmas toy drive.
436
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,381
And someone probably should tell
the fire department about them.
437
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,543
DALE:
Nancy,
438
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,516
the van's on fire!
439
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,782
NANCY:
Oh, my gosh!
440
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:10,912
Show it...
441
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:13,986
show it...
442
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:16,718
Yes!
443
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,228
Got dang it!
444
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:23,233
How'd we lose them?
445
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,996
The van exploded.
446
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,833
I could drive
another van up there!
447
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,998
We already have another van
in the media area.
448
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,076
Up link it! I want to be
seeing fire, not hearing you.
449
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:35,844
The fire's everywhere, sug!
450
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,677
We're never gonna get out!
451
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,046
Oh, God!
( sobbing )
452
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,848
Baby, I always hoped
we'd die together.
453
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,183
Peggy,
454
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,289
you go die over there.
455
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,880
I don't want to die!
456
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,427
I just want to read
the weather.
457
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,086
Don't be silly.
458
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,857
We can't die if we're on TV.
459
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,261
They'd never air it!
460
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,264
( Sobbing )
461
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,561
I don't care anymore!
462
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:56,532
I'm scared!
463
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,502
And I don't want
to go to heaven
464
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,005
with brown roots!
465
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:04,437
We've got picture!
466
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,443
( Cheering )
467
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,309
( Sobbing )
468
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,180
( Whooping )
469
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,151
Gimme five?
470
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,489
The Arlen and McMaynerbury
Fire Departments
471
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,117
report that during
the containment of the blaze,
472
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,524
several horses in the area
473
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,289
had to be airlifted out.
474
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,831
In a related story,
475
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,763
so did our own
Nancy Hicks-Gribble...
476
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,808
Now, son, you can't
keep scaring people like this.
477
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,814
Pretty soon you'll be
too big to squeeze
478
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,384
into the ductwork.
479
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,083
( Shrieks )
480
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:49,350
Bwaagh!
481
00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:50,717
( Shrieks )
482
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,159
So are you gonna stop
scaring my boy?
483
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:57,958
'Cause I've got a wife
who likes to hide and yell, too.
484
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,925
Well, I'm glad you learned
your lesson, Jimmy.
485
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,495
Oh, crap.
486
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,572
Where'd he go?
487
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,506
( Luanne sobbing ):
I wanna die.
488
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:13,044
I just wanna read the weather.
489
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,909
You steal a news van.
490
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,208
A bunch of equipment.
491
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,714
And destroy it all.
492
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,942
I feel so stupid.
493
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,679
I wish I was in that van
when it exploded.
494
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,516
Are you kidding? You put
Channel 84 on the map.
495
00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:24,748
We've got more
requests
496
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,119
for that footage
of you blubbering
497
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,693
than of that panda
baby at the zoo.
498
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:28,885
Really?
499
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,985
I want to reposition
Nancy Hicks-Gribble
500
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,428
as an integral part
of the Channel 84 team.
501
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,590
So, I'm back on weather?
502
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:35,757
No.
503
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,836
It turns out
people really do care
504
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,460
about accurate weather.
505
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:40,766
Irv's not gonna go anywhere,
506
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,102
but people did
respond to you...
507
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,572
What's left for me to do?
508
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,041
I dunno. News?
509
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,806
So it looks like
the Arlen Jaycees
510
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,109
are going to be having
that potato-sack race indoors.
511
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,116
Now, I'd like to welcome a new
addition to the anchor desk,
512
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,914
but it's a face
you already know.
513
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:57,250
Say hello to our new co-anchor,
Nancy Hicks-Gribble.
514
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:58,755
Thanks, Irv.
515
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,384
It's great to be a part
of the team, sug.
516
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:03,495
Have you been
feeling itchy lately?
517
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,462
We may have the reason why.
518
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,363
It has nothing to do
with the Barbecue Hut
519
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:11,664
off I-10. Delicious.
520
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,742
DALE: Peggy you
go die over there.
521
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:01,551
I
I
522
00:22:01,601 --> 00:22:06,151
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