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1
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:14,636
Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
2
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:18,640
and TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
3
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:36,403
And after he bagged her,
he bagged Marilyn Monroe.
4
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:39,736
Okay, that's Kennedy
number five.
5
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,332
Anyone have
something different?
6
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,865
Oh, good.
7
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,036
Go ahead, Bobby.
8
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,004
I have chosen
the smartest
9
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,675
and most photogenic of
all the presidents--
10
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,707
Mr. Martin Sheen.
11
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,151
President Sheen
is a Nobel Prize
12
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,120
winner
in economics,
13
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,850
yet he loves poetry.
14
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,052
And despite round-
the-clock meetings,
15
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:02,585
death threats and MS,
he still finds time
16
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,326
for playful banter
with his senior staff.
17
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:06,594
Bobby, your assignment
18
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,624
was to research
an actual president.
19
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,068
Martin Sheen
is an actor.
20
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,229
Oh, yeah?
21
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,103
Tell that to the 50
million people
22
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,938
he helped with his
poverty bill.
23
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,336
MAN (on TV ): Hey,
Steve-O, I'm going to drive
24
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,142
this golf cart with my butt.
25
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,274
( Faughs )
26
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,149
Hey, my hummingbird feeder just
got its first customer.
27
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,710
Bobby, come take a look.
28
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,879
Bobby?
29
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:28,945
Huh?
30
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:29,979
Oh, I've seen them.
31
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,957
Animal Planet
did hummingbirds
32
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,960
in their
"Wings of Fury" week.
33
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,758
But you don't even
have to stand up.
34
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,423
Just cock your head
a little bit.
35
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:38,693
Bobby?
36
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:41,258
Yeah, Johnny, I'm going
to drive it into a wall.
37
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,427
What?
38
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,062
Ah, never mind.
39
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,094
Bobby,
what are you
40
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,572
doing watching TV?
41
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,701
You have an oral
report to redo.
42
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:49,834
�Your son thought
43
00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,571
Martin Sheen
was a president.
44
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,137
BOBBY:
No, I didn't.
45
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,875
But his character's based
46
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,475
on the real
President Bartlett, right?
47
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,609
No.
48
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,245
See, this is exactly
what happens
49
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,119
when you watch
too much television.
50
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,247
Bobby, turn that off.
51
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,019
I'm freaking driving
this over...
52
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,026
( mutes sound)
53
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,425
All the way off.
54
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,623
( Sighs)
55
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,158
You can't keep
coming home after school
56
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,169
and plopping down
in front of the TV.
57
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,432
Mm-hmm.
He's right.
58
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,496
It is not good for
you or the couch.
59
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:21,633
Starting tomorrow,
you're getting yourself
60
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,700
an extracurricular
activity,
61
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,041
something to keep
you busy
62
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,479
before your mother and I
come home from work.
63
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,310
But, Dad...
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00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:29,474
No "buts."
65
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,041
Now go start that report.
66
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,280
But which president
should ...
67
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:37,952
( sighs)
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00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,722
Ronald Reagan.
69
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:43,486
CONNIE:
Hey, Bobby.
70
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,656
What are you
doing?
71
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,790
Nothing.
72
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,630
I'm supposed to be
in chess club,
73
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,033
but they kicked me out.
74
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,060
If they don't want you
to double jump,
75
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,436
they shouldn't play it
on a checkers board.
76
00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:55,498
Sorry I can't stay and
listen to you vent,
77
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,271
but our Quiz Bow!
team keeps losing,
78
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,278
and now Coach Grandy
is making us
79
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,076
do mind sprints
after school.
80
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,604
How could you ever lose?
81
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,743
You're the smartest
person I know.
82
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,686
It's those stupid pop
culture questions.
83
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,985
How are we supposed to know
what Out of Sight actor
84
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,422
got his start
on The Facts of...
85
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,927
George Clooney.
Everybody knows that.
86
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,957
BOY: Osmosis, mitosis, meiosis.
87
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,592
Osmosis,
mitosis, meiosis.
88
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,193
No, base ten!
89
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,135
Base ten! Idiot!
90
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:27,564
Hello, Connie.
91
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:28,768
Uh, I'm sorry, Bobby.
92
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,436
When you want change
for the vending machine
93
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,242
you're going to have to start
going to someone else.
94
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,271
No, Bobby wants
to join the team.
95
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,716
Why would we want Booby Hill?
96
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,277
So the other teams
feel sorry for us?
97
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,981
They already feel
sorry for us
98
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:45,253
because you can't remember
the atomic weight of lithium.
99
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,893
Bobby's going to be
our secret weapon.
100
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,226
He's not a math guy, is he?
101
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:51,753
Because I'm
the math guy, right?
102
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:52,924
Right?
103
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,367
No, Bobby's a pop
culture expert.
104
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,801
Oh, really?
105
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,067
Ernie, ask him that one
you didn't know.
106
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,596
You didn't
know it either.
107
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,701
"What actor gave Peter Parker
a new face in 2002?"
108
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,210
Tobey Maguire.
109
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,270
Is he right?
110
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:09,849
He's right.
111
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,180
Bravo, Bobby.
112
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,152
Welcome
to the team.
113
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,120
Dawn, American Lit.
114
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:17,351
Just so you know, you
should bring your own pen.
115
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,687
We have a thing
about pens.
116
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,318
You guys
hear that?
117
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:26,890
That's the sweet sound
of Bobby not watching TV.
118
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,459
I made him join an
after-school activity.
119
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,403
How do you know
he's not watching TV
120
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,872
at someone
else's house?
121
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,274
Or hiding in the bushes
with one of those mini-TVs?
122
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,142
They keep making TVs
smaller and smaller,
123
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,772
and bigger and bigger.
124
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,145
Soon the medium TV
125
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,946
is going to be
a thing of the past.
126
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,247
BOBBY:
Hey, Dad,
127
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,252
guess what?
128
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,015
I joined
the academic team!
129
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,920
Academic team?
130
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,481
Is that a fancy way
of saying
131
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,084
you need to go
to study hall?
132
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,288
No, I'm the pop culture guy.
133
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,056
The what?
134
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,063
Come on. Test me.
135
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,064
Give me a name.
136
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,691
Michael... Douglas.
137
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,167
No, Michael Keaton!
138
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,533
Mr. Mom, Gung-Ho, Beetle juice
with Winona Ryder,
139
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,867
Batman, Batman Returns,
140
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,805
and the place
it all started--
141
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,535
Mr. Rogers'
Neighborhood.
142
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,475
Impressive.
I love Mr. Rogers.
143
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:11,807
Wow, Hank.
144
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,678
How's it feel to be
the father of a genius?
145
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:17,274
Bobby's a good kid,
but he's no genius.
146
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,547
We have the report cards
to prove it.
147
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,714
And since when
is popular culture
148
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,154
considered
"academic"?
149
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,318
It's serious
business, Hank.
150
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,793
'You can't be a respected
university these days
151
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,263
without offering a major
in commercial jingles
152
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:33,323
or the films of
M. Night Shalamalaman.
153
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,391
Yeah, man, talkin' "bout
dem dang ol' Oberlin, man,
154
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,403
you gotta ol' Phi Beta Kappa
on dem Muppets, yo.
155
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,996
Well, that's asinine.
156
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:42,600
What kind of job can you get
with a degree in pop culture?
157
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,167
You can be a professor.
158
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,610
Of pop culture.
159
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,774
Wow, Bobby the Professor.
160
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,853
Hey, Connie,
this is so cool!
161
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,191
Where should I sit?
162
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,993
I didn't know
everybody got a buzzer.
163
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,725
Quiz Bowl is so cool!
164
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,324
I can't talk now,
Bobby.
165
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,529
I'm having trouble with
my German composers.
166
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,094
Pachelbel!
167
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,298
Hey, Jeremy,
168
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,137
you ready to kick
some Denton brain?
169
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,642
Can't you see I'm
trying to remember
170
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,109
the Quadratic Formula?
171
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,440
I mean equation.
172
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:19,843
Oh, crap,
which is it?!
173
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:20,972
Sorry.
174
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,244
Now, this is Bobby's
first match,
175
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,308
so which is more
appropriate--
176
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,047
Air horn
or thunder sticks?
177
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,612
Because I have both.
178
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:29,850
What?
Bobby on team?
179
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,790
Quiz Bowl
for top of food chain,
180
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,055
not C-student plankton.
181
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,324
( Faughs )
182
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:39,292
Welcome, wilkommen,
183
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,697
bienvenue.
184
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,999
Today's match features
Denton versus Tom Landry.
185
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,630
Please test
your buzzers.
186
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:46,730
( Buzzing )
187
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:47,740
( Buzzes)
188
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,640
Category: chemistry.
189
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:53,203
Question: Negative 273 degrees
Kelvin
190
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,873
is also known as what?
191
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,280
(buzzing)
Wassanasong,
192
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,306
Tom Landry.
193
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,977
Absolute zero.
194
00:06:59,019 --> 00:06:59,850
Correct.
195
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,720
Category: television.
196
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,158
Who of the following is not
a Star fleet captain�-
197
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,286
Picard, Jane way or Data.
198
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:09,295
( Buzzing )
199
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,728
Datal
Correct.
200
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,095
But a warning,
201
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:15,295
please wait to be recognized
by the Quizmaster.
202
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,894
( Buzzing )
203
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,029
Hill, Tom Landry.
204
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,233
Alvin, Simon
and Theodore!
205
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,434
Correct.
206
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,600
And time expires.
207
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,633
Winner: Tom Landry.
208
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,907
( Cheering )
209
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,313
Super.
Just super.
210
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,010
With proper
training,
211
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,520
Bobby could lead the team
to the championship.
212
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:35,544
They could be #1.
213
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:38,580
Just think, if I hadn't sat him
in front of the TV
214
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,492
to keep him from crying,
we would not be here today.
215
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,528
Yep.
216
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:48,432
Four parts water,
one part sugar.
217
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,833
Got any leftovers?
218
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:51,166
Hey, Dad,
219
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,137
we won!
220
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,503
You should've
seen it.
221
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:57,204
We came out strong--
math, spelling, geography.
222
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,540
Then we hit
the wall--
223
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,945
Two art histories
and a physics.
224
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,142
Oh, no.
225
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,946
How did you ever
recover, Professor?
226
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:04,974
The lightning round.
227
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,417
It was TV theme songs.
228
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,648
I cleaned house.
229
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,177
( Cheering )
230
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,485
( Sighs)
231
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,184
You know,
I wanted Bobby to become
232
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,353
the kind of kid
who did stuff after school,
233
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:15,884
but the stuff
after school
234
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,863
is just becoming
more like Bobby.
235
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:20,832
'You must be very proud.
236
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:23,165
'You were on fire
yesterday, Bobby!
237
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,399
I can't believe you
made that kid cry.
238
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,338
I'd cry, too, if I didn't
know what movies
239
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:29,536
Denzel got his Oscars for.
240
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,044
Glory, Training Day.
241
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,340
GRANDY:
Okay, people,
242
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,642
cheeks in the chairs.
243
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,148
We did great yesterday,
244
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,741
but we still made
too many mistakes.
245
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,183
I'm not going
to point fingers,
246
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,449
but people who should have
a finger pointed at them
247
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,717
know who they are.
248
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:45,020
Chane, books
on Copernicus.
249
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,550
Dawn, the complete
works of Faulkner.
250
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,655
Connie, memorize
the Goldberg Variations.
251
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,426
And Bobby, here is
252
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,866
People, Us and
Entertainment Weekly.
253
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,199
Is this great or what?
254
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,534
Hey, did you guys know that...
255
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,061
ALL:
Shh!
256
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,666
'You better start reading or
watching or whatever you do,
257
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,905
because we're counting on you.
258
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,469
Counting on me?
259
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:09,073
Nobody's ever counted
on me before.
260
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,345
I won't let you down.
261
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,852
ALL:
Shh!
262
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,761
( Popping noises )
263
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:23,957
PEGGY:
Bobby, breakfast.
264
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,091
I am blanketing
the pigs.
265
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,601
I can't right now.
TRL is pop-up!
266
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:29,864
( Three rapid pops )
267
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,302
Oh, dang it.
268
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,169
I can't believe
you're serving him
269
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,196
breakfast in bed.
270
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,072
Breakfast was
the only motivation
271
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,543
he had to leave
his room.
272
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,376
Hank, we are the parents
of a gifted child now.
273
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,075
It is our responsibility
to nurture him.
274
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,086
But the whole point was to get
him out of the house.
275
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,883
If you were
Einstein's father,
276
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,548
we would not
have the Bomb.
277
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,320
BOBBY:
Call our cable operator!
278
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:54,759
There's a new MTV channel.
279
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:57,388
CONNIE: I'm so glad you're
on the team now, Bobby.
280
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,829
I really like winning.
281
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,390
GRANDY:
Here he is now,
282
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,902
the brightest of all
my shining stars.
283
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,904
I was just telling
Principal Moss
284
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,906
about our team's
winning streak.
285
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,032
To tell you
the truth,
286
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,906
I thought we cut
Quiz Bowl last year.
287
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,377
Guess we got rid
of something else.
288
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,776
Well, the budget
likes a winner,
289
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:13,779
so keep it up.
290
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,008
Oh, man.
291
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,174
Look, we all know
292
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,344
drama and band are
hanging by a thread.
293
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,909
Quiz Bowl
is all I have.
294
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,547
Bobby, I'm counting on you
to lead us to victory.
295
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,886
I'm trying.
296
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,413
Remember,
there's trying
297
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,119
and there's
trying harder.
298
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,787
Try harder, Bobby.
299
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,489
See you in class.
300
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,792
I know this one.
I know I know it.
301
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:37,928
Sine?
302
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,837
No, cosine.
303
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,500
( Kids groaning )
Dang it! Dang it!
304
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:43,669
Quiet down!
Next question:
305
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:46,407
"This actor picked Cameron Diaz
over Julia Roberts
306
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,039
in My Best Friend's
Wedding.
307
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,173
Come on, Coach.
308
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,047
Give me a hard one.
Dylan McDermott.
309
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,985
No. Dermot Mulroney.
310
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:58,856
Oh... yeah, I always
get those guys mixed up.
311
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,691
Someone needs a hame change,
am I right?
312
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,457
( Chuckling )
313
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:07,393
Let's take a break.
Who has the Tums?
314
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:09,424
Hey, what's
your problem?
315
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,403
I'm trying!
I just goofed!
316
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,462
Look, "Booby," I have a plan:
317
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,634
The Chane Train
starts with Quiz Bowl
318
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,234
and ends at a Stanford frat
319
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,712
with all the ladies
I can handle.
320
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,441
'You're hot gonna
blow it for me.
321
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,142
You can't make
mistakes, Bobby.
322
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,776
You just can't!
323
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,379
( Sighs)
324
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,050
Bobby gets so dang
many magazines.
325
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,581
Couldn't at least one of them
326
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,061
have a picture of a car
or a fish on it?
327
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,587
Does sweeps start
this week or next?
328
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,861
I don't know
what that means.
329
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,130
Man! Quiz Bow!
Is getting tough.
330
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:46,230
Yeah, it's real hard
sitting around watching TV.
331
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,434
I know!
332
00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:49,805
They broke up?
333
00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:53,176
I haven't even read the one
where they got together!
334
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:58,216
( Rapid fluttering )
335
00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,980
KAHN:
Bobby Hilll
336
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,418
Come on down!
337
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,512
How much you pay
for fabulous mini-fridge
338
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,286
stocked with Red Bull
and Mountain Dew?
339
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,622
Nothing!
340
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:07,922
Free for you!
341
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,224
But... why?
342
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,253
Because you're the key
to getting Chane
343
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:14,392
into the school
of his choice: Stanford.
344
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,994
Connie choose Harvard.
And you pave the way.
345
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:20,097
With new fridge, you never
have to leave your room.
346
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:22,039
Everything on
your shoulders!
347
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,011
( Buzzer sounds )
348
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,572
McMaynerbury.
349
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,108
Ursa... Minor.
350
00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:33,277
EMCEE:
Correct.
351
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,377
McMaynerbury
ties the game.
352
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,387
( Bell dings )
353
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,082
And time expires.
354
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,352
How delightful.
355
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,756
We have a tie-breaker.
356
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:42,625
The winner will face Durndle
in the district finals.
357
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,061
( Audience murmuring )
358
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,566
Category: The Grammys.
359
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:51,130
"Question: Who is Dana
Owens better known as?"
360
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,569
( Buzzer sounds )
Hill.
361
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,731
Tom Landry.
362
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,337
Five seconds.
363
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,508
( Clears throat )
364
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,609
Queen Latifah?
365
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:10,246
Correct.
366
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,088
Winner: Tom Landry.
367
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,355
( Cheering, laughing )
368
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:20,563
When I directed this scene,
369
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,159
the sky wasn't sad enough.
370
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:24,169
Read about how we fixed it
in post
371
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,671
in the companion book.
372
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,537
Oh! Companion book!
373
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,803
HANK: Your mother
and I are headed
374
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,242
to the Mega Lo Mart.
375
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,610
It's the last day
of Super Savings.
376
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,046
Wait! I'm coming with you!
377
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,450
I got to get this one book,
378
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,679
and Sim City 4,
379
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:42,518
and I think J.Lo's new CD
drops today.
380
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,990
Grab my shoes!
I'll be in the car!
381
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,119
Meet us by
the wood glue
382
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,221
in 20 minutes!
383
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,959
I never noticed
these before.
384
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,229
I guess they're trying
to make shopping fun.
385
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,066
It's working!
386
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,884
I'm Kelly Clarks on.
387
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:22,258
I won American Idof and my
debut album went to number one.
388
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,787
One song on the album,
I wrote with Christina Aguilera.
389
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:26,094
She was in the Mickey Mouse Club
390
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,260
with Britney Spears
and Justin Timberlake.
391
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,894
Justin is a member of N'Sync.
392
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,461
They sing on the soundtrack
for The Grinch,
393
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,869
starring Jim Carrey.
394
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,168
Jim Carrey was in a movie
with Renee Zellweger,
395
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,641
who's worked
with Catherine Zeta-Jones,
396
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,040
who's acted with John Cusack,
397
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,635
who has a house in Malibu
near Pamela Anderson,
398
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:39,839
who dated Scott Baio,
399
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,142
who was on Happy Days
with Ron Howard,
400
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,148
who directed Apoflo 13,
starring Tom Hanks,
401
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:44,980
who's married to Rita Wilson,
who was in...
402
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:48,715
( voice accelerates
into indistinct chittering )
403
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,756
BOBBY:
Oh...
404
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,098
What happened?
405
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,626
Bobby! Are you okay?
406
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:07,162
Follow the tip of my nose
with your eyes.
407
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,565
Peggy, give him some air.
408
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,237
Now, Bobby,
you just fainted.
409
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:13,040
How do you feel?
410
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,240
I don't know.
411
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:15,441
It was weird.
412
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,451
It was like my heart
was on fast-forward,
413
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,077
but my brain
was on pause,
414
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,848
then, nothing.
415
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:24,016
Well, he was running
pretty fast,
416
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,286
and it's a quarter-mile
to Electronics.
417
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:28,487
His body isn't used
to that level of activity.
418
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,587
Actually, Mr. Hill,
it sounds to me
419
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,325
like your son
had a panic attack.
420
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,094
A panic attack?!
421
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,693
Uh, maybe we should
take him to a doctor.
422
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,363
Sir, Mega Lo Mart
trains us
423
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,668
to take care of all
medical situations.
424
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,470
{ echoing over PA. )
Attention, shoppers.
425
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,033
If there is a doctor
in the store,
426
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,374
please report
to the Mega Lo clinic.
427
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:48,942
Mr. and Mrs. Hill,
428
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:51,143
it looks like Bobby
had a panic attack.
429
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,208
Mm-hmm.
430
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:53,980
Doctor,
he's in middle school.
431
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,647
What does he have
to panic about?
432
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,157
Well, if I had to choose between
performing heart surgery
433
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,523
or going to the seventh-grade
dance right now,
434
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,494
( chuckling ):
well, scalpel, please.
435
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:03,859
So the boy's
too tense?
436
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,227
Well, what do you
recommend?
437
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:07,198
Icy Hot?
The Ben Gay?
438
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:10,328
No, you can't just
put ointment on this, Mr. Hill.
439
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,428
Teen stress
is a very serious problem
440
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:16,136
that can lead to ulcers
and many other health concerns.
441
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,165
(gasps )
442
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,405
Well, what should I do?
443
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,037
Should I give him a hug?
Or does he need space?
444
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,740
Well, there's a book
I can recommend...
445
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,545
Oh, thank God.
There's a book.
446
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,985
Well, I just
checked on Bobby.
447
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,851
He stopped
muttering to himself.
448
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,617
You find anything
in there?
449
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,715
It says here that
what Bobby needs
450
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,988
is a lifestyle change.
451
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:36,859
Their words, my emphasis.
452
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:40,230
Nowy, first, we have to create
a stress-free environment,
453
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,428
or "a safe zone."
454
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:43,731
If you need me
to build something,
455
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,602
I've still got those
old tree house designs.
456
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,970
Mm, no.
457
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,170
It involves things like scented
candles, hot teas,
458
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,338
positive affirmation--
Hank!
459
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,347
Go make Bobby feel
good about himself.
460
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:56,371
Compliment him.
461
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:57,576
Okay.
462
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,176
Uh... for what?
463
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,277
Whatever!
Tell him he has good hair.
464
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,253
What? He does!
465
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,790
So, uh...
466
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,227
your TV watching got you
under the weather, did it?
467
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,128
Oh, yeah, I guess so.
468
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,154
Wait a second.
What time is it?
469
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,224
Did you hear
the weekly Top 407
470
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,258
What was
number one?
471
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:17,531
Did anything
have a bullet?
472
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,265
Don't worry about that
now, Bobby,
473
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:20,431
just get some rest.
474
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,872
But the countdown...
475
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,240
Nielsen ratings...
super-size it.
476
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,746
Uh, your mother likes your hair.
477
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,441
Hair, directed
by Milos For man!
478
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:42,193
Oh, it's so dark
with this thing on.
479
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,161
What are you doing?
480
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,357
Shh. It's okay, Bobby.
481
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,265
Everything is
very safe.
482
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:49,735
We're going
to take-- Ow!
483
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,669
Oh, okay...
484
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,638
I just burned myself.
485
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:57,132
But you are
very, very safe.
486
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,177
I got to get
some ice-- here.
487
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:01,976
( Sighs deeply )
488
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,709
Okay, Bobby,
489
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:06,548
we're going to take
your mind on a journey.
490
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,418
You're lying
on the beach
491
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,855
on a warm sunny day.
492
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,984
Your legs feel
like spaghetti.
493
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,459
What kind of spaghetti?
494
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,790
Fettuccine?
Angel Hair?
495
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,193
Calm down, Bobby.
496
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,893
How about some,
uh... tea?
497
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,731
80 how's the
professor doing?
498
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,395
He's really got himself
worked up,
499
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,666
I tell you what.
500
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,037
I just don't understand
where it's coming from.
501
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,736
Well, it's tough being
a kid these days, Hank.
502
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,006
All we had to worry
about was Vietnam,
503
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,104
Charles Manson,
swine flu.
504
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,637
Is it that bad how?
505
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,116
Heck, a hundred years ago,
506
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,949
kids were working in pork
factories and coal mines.
507
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:43,183
You can't tell me that
wasn't stressful.
508
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:44,212
Hank's right.
509
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:46,122
Back when Disneyland
first started,
510
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:48,786
it was completely powered
by orphan children
511
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,820
running on treadmills
in underground tunnels.
512
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:55,926
And today, those kids
are the New York Yankees.
513
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,630
( Sighing ).
Well, I better go flip over
514
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,469
his "calming sounds" tape.
515
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:05,643
Who wants
to thumb wrestle?
516
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,168
( Gentle rainfall on tape )
517
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:09,875
All this rain is making me
think of drowning.
518
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:11,815
Oh! This is pointless.
519
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,979
It's going to
be okay, son.
520
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,078
We'll get you
through this.
521
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,714
But I'm never
going to relax.
522
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,952
I keep thinking about movies
and music and Quiz Bowl
523
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,153
and if I screw up,
nobody goes to college
524
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:22,820
and Chane never gets
his trust fund.
525
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:23,988
I need to quit!
526
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,055
Whew!
527
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,497
I feel better already.
528
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,365
I quit.
529
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:30,392
I quit.
530
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:31,801
I quit!
531
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,327
This is a miracle!
532
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:35,807
Nobody ever
has to count on me again.
533
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,538
Hey!
My stomach just unknotted!
534
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,705
Bobby, I don't think
you should quit.
535
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,510
What?! But you said
536
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,812
this pop culture stuff
was stupid.
537
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,319
Well, it is, but you made a
commitment to your team,
538
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,650
and you should honor it.
539
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,985
But the stress, Dad!
540
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,615
What about the stress?
541
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,625
Well, you might not
believe this, Bobby,
542
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,491
but I get stressed
all the time.
543
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,553
You?!
Yep.
544
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:58,586
But I don't give up.
545
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,326
I face my problems.
546
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,130
Stress isn't bad,
Bobby.
547
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:05,160
Heck, if we weren't stressed
about the Nazis taking over Europe,
548
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,332
we wouldn't have
fought World War Il.
549
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,671
What's bad is letting stress
make your life miserable.
550
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,038
The big match is tomorrow.
551
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,050
I don't know if I can get into
game shape by then.
552
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,448
You can handle
this, Bobby.
553
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:19,451
And I'll help you.
554
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,656
JED: Well, hey,
there, Mr. Drysdale.
555
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:30,492
I love The Beverly
Hillbillies.
556
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:33,021
I talked Jethro into
staying to work for you.
557
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,931
Show him
your cipherin', boy!
558
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,526
JETHRO: Naught
times naught is naught.
559
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,900
Naught times one
is naught.
560
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,837
Naught times two
is naught.
561
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,237
JED:
Whoo-doggy!
562
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,367
That's what you get from
a sixth-grade education!
563
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,774
( Both laughing )
564
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,108
'You know, the guy who
played Jed Clampett
565
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,841
also played Barnaby Jones,
566
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,248
the milk-drinking
elderly private eye.
567
00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:52,717
Wow! Cool!
568
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,083
And Jethro's dad,
569
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,919
Max Baer Sr.,, was a
heavyweight boxing champ.
570
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,754
He fought Joe Louis.
571
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,453
Hey, Dad, why is Jethro
dressed so funny?
572
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,895
He's trying to be
a double-naught spy.
573
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,158
( Chuckles )
574
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,427
Look, he's putting on
his lead spy hat.
575
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:08,763
( Faughing )
576
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,462
JED:
Whoo-doggy!
577
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:11,902
BOBBY ( faughing ):
Oh, Dad!
578
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,530
( Hank laughs )
579
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,734
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
580
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:55,105
Let's take a break.
Who has the Tums?
581
00:21:55,155 --> 00:21:59,705
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