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Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:18,841
and TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
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00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,365
'You know these funny
cars go so fast
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00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,270
that when the car
hits the finish line
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00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,798
the driver is actually younger
than when he started.
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00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:42,809
Man, talkin' 'bout
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00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,572
dang ol greased lightning, man,
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00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,807
just like them ol' odd rod
stickers, man,
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00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,179
still got one of them
on my lunch box, man.
10
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,581
Oh, my God, that's Austin Coil!
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00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,450
Chief mechanic of the
John Force racing team.
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00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,615
Just look at the man.
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00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,215
He moves beautifully.
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00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:00,249
John Force is the greatest
funny car racer ever!
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00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:02,285
He's done more
in a quarter mile
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00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,388
than I've done
in my whole life.
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00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,398
Do we follow him?
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00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,399
No.
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00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:08,526
Yes.
20
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:15,698
Yo, yo, check it out
dang ol' two o'clock...
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00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,578
Wow, John Force.
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00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,172
Howdy, fellas.
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00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,943
Y'all come out to see
some racing?
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00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,576
Y-Yes.
25
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,586
John Force is
talking to us.
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00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,555
So, what kind of time are
you shooting for today...
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00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,716
John?
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00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:31,724
I can't race today.
29
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,226
I've been feeling a bit sick
30
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,025
and no one should go out
and drive 300 miles an hour
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00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,259
unless they can keep
their breakfast down.
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00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,561
Well, that just blows.
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00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,692
Dale!
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00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,362
I'm sorry
you had to hear that.
35
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:44,427
( Sighs)
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00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:45,461
Are you okay?
37
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,030
I think I need
to sit down.
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00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,566
You know, Force, as long
as you're sitting
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00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,069
you might try sitting behind
the wheel and doing your job.
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00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,103
Dale!
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00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:56,809
Just a suggestion.
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00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,620
Hey, Mom, I didn't know
you were subbing today.
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00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:04,852
I am not.
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00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:07,326
But word on the street
is that Miriam Kaney's
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00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:10,387
been throwing up in the bathroom
the last few mornings,
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00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,695
so I better put in a little
face time with Principal Moss
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00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:16,635
if I want to land
that sweet, sweet maternity gig.
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00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,511
This is Mike Soto with
the morning announcements.
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00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:29,607
Students going on the
Science Club field trip
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00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,119
must have two forms
of permission slip
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00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,746
or they won't be
allowed on the bus...
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00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,119
( yawns )
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00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,988
Thanks for the
big cup of boring.
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00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,959
Tune in tomorrow
when Bobby Hill
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00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,428
takes over the morning
announcements.
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00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:43,793
Good for you, Bobby.
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00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,824
If I can pull this off,
Class Clown is a lock.
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00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:59,270
Oh, that John Force is one
tough SOB, I tell you what.
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00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,610
Says here he's going
to be just fine,
60
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:04,310
right after they replace
70% of his blood.
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00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,546
I'll give him mine!
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00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,451
Us Dauterives
bleed real easy.
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00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,148
Dang ol' count me in, man.
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00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,281
So it's settled,
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00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,620
we'll all go
give blood together.
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00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,023
Count me out.
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00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,859
The vast majority
of unauthorized face removals
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00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,796
happen to people in hospitals.
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00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,698
You disappoint me,
Dale.
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00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,566
Get in line.
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00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,670
Yep.
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00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,343
( Slowly ):
Yep.
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00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,545
That silent treatment
won't work on me.
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00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:43,489
I don't need you to talk to.
I have my thoughts.
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00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:45,855
I can't be alone
with my thoughts!
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00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,587
You've heard them!
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00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,459
Where're you going?
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00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,555
We're going to the blood bank,
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00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,896
where we will talk
about old times
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00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,164
and wear new
"I gave blood" hats.
81
00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,529
( Moans )
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00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,131
Wait up.
83
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,904
I feel sorry for Mike Soto.
84
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,275
Just because his name is Mike
85
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,577
doesn't mean he should be
talking on one.
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00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:12,552
You see, Emily, that is the
kind of zing I bring to the table.
87
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,611
Mike Soto didn't have
to be funny.
88
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:15,815
He had credibility.
89
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:16,914
You better be funny.
90
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,388
Uh... uh...
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00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,055
Good morning,
Tom Landry Middle School!
92
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,963
In birthday news,
Nurse Barrow turns 40 today.
93
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,467
Of course, that's still
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00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,731
two years younger
than the meat loaf
95
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,864
in the cafeterial
96
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:39,242
Would the owner of a red Schwinn
please report to the bike rack.
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00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,407
You left your reflector on.
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00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,582
And that's the bell
for first period.
99
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,818
Either that or the school
doorbell's stuck!
100
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:54,157
As if schools have doorbells.
101
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,228
Sir, the snacks are for
after you've given blood.
102
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,797
We haven't even checked
for your blood type yet.
103
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,504
Oh, that won't be necessary.
I'm type V.
104
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,873
( Sighs)
105
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,893
I'll talk! Il talk!
106
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,157
Mr. Gribble, you've
just had a seizure,
107
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,096
brought on by
a vasovagal reaction.
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00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,462
'You're going to be fine.
109
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,092
'You're going to be
better than fine, Dale.
110
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,158
'You're going to be a hero.
111
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,466
Why?
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00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,563
Because John Force
needs a new kidney.
113
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:42,439
All of our blood was screened,
tested and catalogued
114
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,601
into the computer...
115
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,805
Oh, God,
not the master computer!
116
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,247
Uh, it looked like a Dell.
117
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,409
Anyway, the printout
said your kidney
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00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,475
was a perfect match
for John Force.
119
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,009
But I...
I need my kidney.
120
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,988
It keeps
my other kidney company.
121
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,319
Mr. Gribble,
122
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:01,021
the odds of finding another
match are one in 80,000.
123
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,722
You better get to it,
then, eh, Doc?
124
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,230
There's the phone book.
125
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,901
Dang it, Dale. 'You're hot
even going to think about it?
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00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,837
We're talking
about John Force!
127
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,307
Not for long.
128
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:17,038
He can have mine,
even if it doesn't match!
129
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,011
Dale, I know
this is a huge thing
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00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,810
to ask of anyone,
but you'd be saving the life
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00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,316
of a true American hero.
132
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,613
Think of it, Dale.
133
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:25,777
If you did this,
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00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,719
you and John Force
would be
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00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,153
friends for life.
136
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:33,319
Maybe I have been looking
at this thing all wrong.
137
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,091
Gentlemen, let's
go see John Force.
138
00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:39,990
I can't thank you enough
for doing this, Dale.
139
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,558
My kids thank you, too.
140
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:42,568
They're gorgeous.
141
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:43,899
Now let's talk turkey.
142
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,200
If you want my kidney,
143
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,332
I've got to get
something in return.
144
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:48,671
Dale!
No, it's okay.
145
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,233
What can I do for you?
146
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,075
First off, I reserve the right
147
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,671
to call you 24 hours a day
148
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,477
to prove to people
I know you.
149
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,246
I do not play favorites
with my organs.
150
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,515
If you take my kidney
on vacation,
151
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,146
my other organs
go, too.
152
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,419
And finally, I want you to put
the Dale's Dead Bug
153
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,051
on top of your race car.
154
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,187
That thing's going
to slow me down a bit.
155
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,095
Not as slow as if you're dead.
156
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,223
Deal?
157
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,359
Deal.
158
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,731
Okay, let's get this done.
159
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,001
Where do I go?
160
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,202
Do I have to sit on some
kind of special toilet?
161
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:26,201
Uh, Dale, you know this
is major surgery, right?
162
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,441
You're gonna
have to be
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00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,175
in the hospital
for three days.
164
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:32,276
I can't afford to be out of
commission for three days.
165
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,287
As one of Arlen's
leading skeptics,
166
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,415
I've got my fingers
in a lot of pies.
167
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,946
But, Dale, you made a deal.
168
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,756
What about all that great stuff
you got from John?
169
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,262
Damn, the stuff!
170
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,093
Stuff is my weakness.
171
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,461
( Sighs)
172
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,762
All right, Hank, I'm still
going through with this
173
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,200
if you promise me one thing.
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00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,862
Anything, Dale. What is it?
175
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,601
You have to make sure
nothing happens to me.
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00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,335
That no one
steals my brain,
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00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,241
or, if they do,
they replace it
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00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,439
with one of equal
or greater value.
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00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,446
I promise.
180
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,470
There's more!
181
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,278
You also have
to take care
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00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,183
of all my affairs,
my business dealings.
183
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,678
While I am indisposed,
you must be Dale Gribble.
184
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,385
Whatever it takes.
185
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,392
So be it!
186
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,862
I'll give John Force my kidney.
187
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,227
The left one, I think.
188
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:20,961
Let me just redirect
my waste to the right one.
189
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,134
The process has begun.
190
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,509
Okay, Hank, once you sign
this power of attorney
191
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:39,746
you are legally me
2417 for three whole days.
192
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,412
Now, the show turtles
get fed every day,
193
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,551
except for the hatchlings,
who eat every hour.
194
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,426
They like a mix
of one-third dandelion leaves,
195
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,294
one-third skinned
chopped mice
196
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,526
and a mango,
197
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:53,760
but only if it's fresh.
198
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,768
Do not be surprised
if they defecate
199
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,099
in their drinking water.
200
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,333
It's a sign of
high spirits.
201
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,669
Where do I get mice?
202
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,607
I left a plate of
bacon in your attic.
203
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:03,609
You should have
204
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,769
plenty by nightfall.
205
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,507
I can't believe I've got
206
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,242
two more days
of not being funny
207
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,443
ahead of me.
208
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,850
And then the rest of my life.
209
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:13,978
Funny's all I got!
210
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,283
Look at me!
211
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:17,346
Bobby, the reason
people weren't laughing
212
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,119
is not because
you're not funny.
213
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,684
It's because
they didn't know
214
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,217
they were supposed
to laugh.
215
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,354
You are as funny as...
216
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,763
as Wacky and Steve
on Power 100
217
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:28,166
or even that
Morning Dog Pound.
218
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,101
The only thing
that separates
219
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,467
you from them is...
220
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,370
a cowbell.
221
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,204
Really?
Yes.
222
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,835
Your audience doesn't
want to work so hard.
223
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,845
The cowbell enables
them to laugh
224
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,369
without having to think.
225
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,384
The cowbell tells them,
"Yes, the joke is over,
226
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,885
and, yes, it was funny."
227
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,318
Hey, Luanne,
guess what we're having
228
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:52,552
for dinner tonight.
229
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,684
Flapjacks.
230
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,887
I said... Flapjacks!
231
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,161
( Faughing )
232
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,930
Now I get it.
233
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:08,839
So, all I have to do is ring
that bell after every joke.
234
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,172
You don't ring it.
235
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,770
Your sidekick rings it,
and if they're good,
236
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:16,214
they repeat what you say,
which makes it even funnier.
237
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,741
Mom, you have to be my sidekick.
238
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,809
Sidekick.
239
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:20,945
Sidekick!
240
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:24,321
Faughing)
( laughing)
241
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,449
I couldn't
help noticing, Sug.
242
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,928
You're not
eating any solids
243
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,930
and you're only drinking
clear fluids.
244
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,956
Oh, that's because
I'm donating one of my kidneys
245
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,468
to John Force tomorrow.
246
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,401
What?!
247
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,597
Oh, did I not mention that?
248
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,729
No!
249
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:40,261
I won't be home
for three days.
250
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,273
Love you.
251
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,139
Well, gotta get shaved.
252
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,611
Four knocks and a honk?
253
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,810
Gun club.
254
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,011
Three knocks?
255
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,247
Just hand the guy
the Folger's can of money.
256
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,686
This is my business line.
257
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:59,681
Answer it only
between 9:08 and 9:23.
258
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:07,156
( "Ride of the Valkyries"
playing )
259
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:10,763
Gribble?
260
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,396
Uh... I'm
Gribble's representative,
261
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:13,701
but I'm kind of busy now.
262
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,901
It's here.
263
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,102
What's here?
264
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:17,234
Do you have a pen?
265
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,301
Yes.
266
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,368
Throw it away.
267
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,107
No records, no trail, comprende?
268
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,774
Uh... Si.
269
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:29,914
Look, I don't know much
about this... uh, process.
270
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,254
Gribble's got
a standing order
271
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,589
for alien urine.
272
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,596
Eight drums, $319.
273
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,427
You won't find a better price.
274
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,023
That seems like a lot of money.
275
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,000
Are you sure
this can't wait 30 hours?
276
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,265
In 30 hours it'll
be pure zefferum!
277
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,932
( Sighs)
278
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:51,875
BOBBY:
Good morning, Tom Landry!
279
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:53,345
Morning!
280
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,609
( Cowbell rattles )
281
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,480
Let's start with
a look at traffic.
282
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,144
We've got
an overturned backpack
283
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,619
in front
of the biology lab.
284
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,552
Whoo!
285
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:02,555
Backpack.
286
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,784
In sports news--
287
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,348
I still can't play 'em!
288
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,358
( Faughing )
289
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,518
No good at sports.
290
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,660
Doctor, how is he?
291
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,066
You're the new
Gribble, right?
292
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,126
I need to talk to you.
293
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,535
Octavio?
294
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,699
It's Tuesday. I need
you to break my fender.
295
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,707
What?
296
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,936
Are you asking me
297
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,569
to help you commit
some kind of fraud?
298
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:27,239
Are you backing out
on me, New Gribble?
299
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,247
We had a deal.
300
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,340
( Sighs)
301
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,212
And now we drink.
302
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,847
It's 10:00 a.m.
303
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:36,912
Now we drink.
304
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:43,824
Excuse me, Nurse.
305
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,661
Is Dale Gribble
out of surgery yet?
306
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,188
One moment.
307
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,425
He's here.
308
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,494
No, he doesn't
seem to know.
309
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,768
I'm sure you're aware, Mr. Hill,
310
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:58,277
that there are limits
to medical science.
311
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,042
Is this your way
of telling me Dale's dead?
312
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,879
Oh, no, the removal of Dale's
kidney went very smoothly,
313
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:06,010
but the funny thing is...
after all that,
314
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,383
John Force didn't need it.
315
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,945
He just had a little blockage
316
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,217
in his renal artery.
317
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,384
We were able
to pop it out like that.
318
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:15,087
I promised Dale
that nothing would go wrong.
319
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,530
Hank, have you ever been
to Mobile, Alabama?
320
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,931
No. What does that
have to do with anything?
321
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,799
There's a special
young man there
322
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,428
who sure could
use a kidney.
323
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,938
Little Timmy Croston.
324
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,602
Ten years old, adorable,
partly because he's so small.
325
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,905
I spoke with
Timmy's parents
326
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,206
just ten minutes ago.
327
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,145
They are ready to
jet-copter him out here
328
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:35,579
as soon as you
give the word.
329
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,776
Oh, |-I don't know.
330
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,545
This is a big decision.
331
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:41,076
Can't we wait
till Dale comes to?
332
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,713
We don't have
that kind of time,
333
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:45,087
and you have Mr. Gribble's
power of attorney.
334
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,614
( Sighs)
335
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,820
Okay, okay, let me
336
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,760
think about this
for a second.
337
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,594
What's there
to think about?
338
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:52,996
What kind of person
wouldn't give
339
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:54,193
a ten-year-old
boy a kidney?
340
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:55,359
Well...
341
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:56,960
Dale.
Mr. Hill,
342
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,732
we need your decision.
343
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:05,340
Nancy, what's Redcorn
doing in our shower?
344
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,107
( Hank clearing throat )
345
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,307
Hey, Hank.
346
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,045
How's John Force
enjoying my kidney?
347
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,281
Uh... well,
a funny thing happened.
348
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,449
John didn't actually need it.
349
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,787
Then where is it?
350
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,224
( Sighs)
351
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:23,024
I promised your kidney
to a ten-year-old boy.
352
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:23,858
What?
353
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,159
You can't do that.
354
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,393
( Coughs)
355
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,059
I can't believe this.
356
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,570
'You were supposed
to protect me.
357
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,331
Oh, God!
358
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,497
They know I know!
359
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,869
I'm in the network!
360
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:37,604
Why-Why isn't my head
wrapped in tinfoil?
361
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:40,704
Mr. Gribble, we're going
to need you to calm down.
362
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:41,407
Look at me.
363
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:43,775
( Groans )
364
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,113
It's happening!
365
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,176
The harvest has begun!
366
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,450
How could you let this
happen to me, Hank?
367
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,456
I trusted you!
368
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,653
I trus...
369
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,024
Sorry, Dale, ...
370
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,462
Mr. Hill, you have nothing
to feel guilty about.
371
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,795
That was just some typical
post-op dementia
372
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,391
brought on by the anesthesia.
373
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,129
It was not
the real Dale talking.
374
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,501
No, that was him.
375
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,205
( Groaning )
376
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,407
Ouch!
377
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,541
Hank, my leg is not
your conscience.
378
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,016
Quit kicking it.
379
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:20,781
Yeah, I have nothing
to be ashamed about.
380
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,584
I mean, it's
a ten-year-old boy.
381
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,556
I did the right thing.
382
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,354
Right? Right.
383
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:27,655
( Groans )
384
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:29,593
But how can it be
the right thing
385
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,324
to stab a friend
in the back?
386
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,559
And stab
in the back.
387
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,724
( Chuckles )
388
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,757
Oh, sorry, you did
the right thing.
389
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,496
( Clattering )
390
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:49,982
Ah!
391
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,313
Octavio?
392
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,409
Yo, ese, where's
Gribble's kidney?
393
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,251
I lined up a buyer in Caracas.
394
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,087
He outbid this dude
in Ireland by 40 euros.
395
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,956
Dale's kidney isn't in there.
396
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,323
It's at the hospital.
397
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,521
Oh.
398
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:05,759
( Shouts )
399
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,065
This is it, Mom,
400
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,094
our last show.
401
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,402
Word is if it
goes well,
402
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,498
we're getting
a spot
403
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,031
in the school
time capsule.
404
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,840
I am ready.
405
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,074
Peggy, thank God
you were standing here.
406
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,343
Sarah Cook just got
a DWI on her way in.
407
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,043
How would you like
to sub Spanish?
408
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,485
Now it's going to require
a two-week commitment.
409
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,715
Oh, my God.
410
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:30,882
I could give a test
and grade it?
411
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:31,890
Great.
412
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:32,982
Well, move it.
413
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,390
There's a fish tank
in that classroom
414
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,588
I've got a bad feeling about.
415
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:43,091
Bobby, I know you can
do this on your own.
416
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,796
Oh, sure...
417
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,362
( feedback screeches )
418
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,272
But you won't have to.
419
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,342
Principal Moss,
I am sorry,
420
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,609
but I have a previous
commitment.
421
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:56,911
Okay, Schmidt,
422
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,917
you're going
to the show.
423
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,388
Good Morning,
Tom Laundry Middle School!
424
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,551
I hope you're all clean.
425
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:07,582
Tom Laundry!
426
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,493
( Ringing and whistling )
427
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,122
Dale?
428
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:12,756
Look, I know
that you and Octavio
429
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,766
are trying
to sell your kidney,
430
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,165
and I can't
let it happen.
431
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,671
Not when there's a ten-year-old
boy who needs it.
432
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,674
It's okay, Hank.
We called that off.
433
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,335
I put you in charge
for a reason.
434
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,539
I knew you'd do
the right thing
435
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,707
when I couldn't
be trusted to.
436
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,149
Thanks, friend.
437
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:59,071
Dr. Tabor, I think Dale's kidney
could be in danger.
438
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,273
Mr. Hill, despite
our little oversight
439
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,907
with John Force,
I assure you
440
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,678
we are on top of...
Good God!
441
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,684
( Sniffing )
442
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:13,715
It's mine.
443
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,318
Let's get you home.
444
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:22,528
His kidney's gone!
445
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,303
Losing strength...
446
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:34,336
must maintain focus.
447
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,576
( Snorts )
Hey-yah!
448
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:01,771
Excuse me, Doc-- small
change in your skedge.
449
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,242
You're to reimplant
this kidney in me
450
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:06,643
for safe-keeping,
and then re-extract it
451
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,511
when I locate
a suitable buyer.
452
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:09,776
Dale, stop!
453
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:14,884
Back off.
454
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,082
Come any closer
and this baby's good
455
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,717
for nothing but
an Englishman's breakfast.
456
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:20,817
Now Dale, hold on.
457
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,419
Let's just
talk about this.
458
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:23,587
No.
459
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:26,098
Now, I'm going to need
an unmarked jet
460
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:29,227
and two parachutes,
one kidney-sized. Also...
461
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,497
There's no time for this.
462
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:31,901
In another
couple of hours,
463
00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:34,304
this kidney's going
to be of no use to anyone.
464
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,604
Then I've got no
time for chitchat.
465
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,982
Oh, a visitor.
466
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,549
Uh... no.
467
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:03,296
'You the kidney kid they're
making all the noise about?
468
00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:05,133
Yeah.
What do you want?
469
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,196
$43,000.
470
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:08,707
I don't have that.
471
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,836
Well, if you want my kidney,
it's not a one-way street.
472
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,278
I'll start with this.
What else you got?
473
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:16,639
Hmm...
474
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:17,774
These any good?
475
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:18,943
I don't know.
476
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,247
I want all of them.
477
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:21,583
And the fire truck
478
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,816
and the catcher's mitt
and that Jell-O.
479
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:24,789
Okay.
480
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:25,757
Deal.
481
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:31,658
At least once a week,
482
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,495
give him a can
of Mountain Dew.
483
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,693
He likes that.
484
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:42,100
Dale, here's your
power of attorney back.
485
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,508
'You were right:
it isn't easy being you.
486
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:45,601
I know.
487
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:47,339
Did you get me
the alien urine?
488
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:48,744
Uh, yup.
489
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,148
It cost $319.
490
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,275
That's my rate.
491
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,843
And you assisted
Octavio.
492
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,980
Bashed his fender
with rebar.
493
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,318
That's my MO.
494
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,916
Hank, it sounds like
you did everything right
495
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,620
except giving
away my kidney.
496
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,857
And since I traded it
for a bunch of kiddie toys,
497
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,888
I guess we both let me down.
498
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:11,226
So, while you were me,
did you sleep with Nancy?
499
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,328
No!
500
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:13,964
Too late!
501
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:18,409
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
502
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:56,507
And now, we drink.
503
00:21:56,557 --> 00:22:01,107
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