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1
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:51,250
Do the new neighbors have
any kids my age?
2
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,049
Joseph's getting
too active.
3
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:55,851
I need someone to sit
around and watch TV with.
4
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,856
Stop it!
5
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,518
No more families on the block!
6
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,119
Look at those free weights.
7
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:03,789
That's the sign of a fit,
single woman.
8
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:07,232
She's tired of the bar scene
and is looking for a man
9
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,565
to share her foosball table
10
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,095
and beer can
collection with.
11
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,801
Now, Bobby, if a teenager moves
into that house,
12
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:18,004
I'm counting on you to teach him
our community values.
13
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,810
I know there's a lot of pressure
being the Block Captain's kid,
14
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:22,815
but that was the life
you were born into.
15
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:25,284
KAHN: Hey, Country
Bear Jamboree!
16
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,287
My grandma send
me birthday check,
17
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,982
but it not in
my mailbox.
18
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,387
Which one of you take it?
19
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,153
Why would we steal
your check?
20
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:33,421
How do I know?!
21
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:36,657
Maybe your wife needs
new pitchfork.
22
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,291
I hope the new neighbor
isn't another Kahn.
23
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,301
His cracks about
Peggy are funny,
24
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,066
but other than that,
he's completely useless.
25
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,597
Here comes the
new neighbor.
26
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,702
It is a lady!
27
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:53,076
A big lady.
28
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,080
It's a man.
29
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,981
Oh, I didn't know this was
the type of neighborhood
30
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,985
where guys stood
outside drinking beer.
31
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:02,387
And I'm totally psyched, man!
32
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,390
I'm totally psyched!
33
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,085
Well, you should
be psyched.
34
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,686
You can drink in the alley
until 8:15 p.m.
35
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:12,097
It's all in the block charter
which [ left in your mailbox.
36
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,499
Hank Hill, Block Captain.
37
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,696
Nice to meet you.
I'm Willie Lane.
38
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:20,002
Huh. Anybody ever tell you
that you've got the same name
39
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,202
as a Dallas Cowboy
backup lineman
40
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,109
from the 1976
to '79 seasons?
41
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,112
No.
42
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,511
Yep. "Big" Willie Lane.
43
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:30,073
Blocked a kick
to beat the 49ers.
44
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:33,382
Then was cut one year later
and moved down to Mexico
45
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,720
where he now wrestles animals
for tourists' pennies.
46
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,282
You sure about that, chief?
47
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,292
Whoa, that's...
48
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,693
that's a Super Bowl ring.
49
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,696
Sweet Lord,
you're Big Willie Lane!
50
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:44,754
Gotdang, man.
51
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:48,666
You're even better
than a single lady.
52
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:49,669
Yay!
53
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,604
I like this little
chicken chest.
54
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,266
He's got spirit.
55
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,274
Yay!
56
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,673
Ow, my-my head.
57
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,337
Look at him over
there, Peggy.
58
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,369
They never lose
that nobility.
59
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,008
Oh, God, he's
coming this way.
60
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,142
Just... just look casual.
61
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,711
WILLIE:
Hey, Hank!
62
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,722
I thought you'd want
to see this.
63
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,884
It's the football from
the kick I blocked.
64
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,859
Looks just like it did on TV.
65
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,157
( Clears throat )
66
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,163
Oh, uh, Willie,
this is my wife, Peggy.
67
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,164
( Chuckling ):
Hey...
68
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,223
Didn't you used to be
one of our cheerleaders?
69
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,894
( Faughing ):
Me? Oh, no.
70
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:25,337
But I did go to a Cowboy's game
in 1978.
71
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,239
Maybe you recognize me
from the stands.
72
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,607
Dad, I changed
my mind again.
73
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:31,941
Medium rare.
74
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,572
Think fast, big guy.
75
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:35,672
( Grunts)
76
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,683
Listen here, buddy.
77
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:37,684
You have to catch it
78
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,879
out in front
with your hands,
79
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,887
not try to cradle
it into your body.
80
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:44,050
It's a little something
Billy Joe DuPree showed me.
81
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,526
"Billy Joe Dupree."
82
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,688
HANK:
Way to go, Bobby.
83
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,697
Now, you listen to
all the pointers
84
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,755
this man gives you.
85
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,960
He was taught about
football-- and life--
86
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,798
From the great
Coach Landry.
87
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,601
Hey, Hank,
there's a Cowboy's game on later
88
00:03:58,638 --> 00:03:59,605
if you want to come over.
89
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,869
Okay, yeah, that sounds great.
90
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,000
And you can bring the guys.
91
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,205
They seem pretty cool.
92
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,373
See, Peggy, I told you
the guys were cool.
93
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,682
Run, damn it, run!
94
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,814
No, don't go out of bounds!
95
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,255
( Sputters ).
Wuss!
96
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,622
Passion.
( horn blowing )
97
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:20,626
Halftime.
98
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,627
I'll grab a few brews.
99
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,254
And, hey,
if we do this again,
100
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,788
would you guys mind bringing
Sam Adams instead of Alamo?
101
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:29,234
No problem. I'll just dip into
my son's college fund.
102
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,670
Guys, my uniform
is too tight.
103
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,673
You think Willie
would be offended
104
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,674
if I took my pants off?
105
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,075
Got dang it, Bill,
don't screw this up.
106
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,672
Hey, you guys want to see
some stuff from my career?
107
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:42,773
Hank, you've seen this.
108
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,513
It's the football
from that kick I blocked.
109
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:49,955
Oh... and here's a picture
from that kick I blocked.
110
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:50,957
Hey, Willie,
111
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:54,825
I have something I think
you'd be interested in.
112
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,023
Well, who's that handsome stud?
113
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,691
That's you before
the weight gain.
114
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,723
Hey, Willie,
115
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,429
how'd you feel about letting me
borrow your Super Bowl ring
116
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,496
to wear to Ladies Night
at Shananigans tomorrow?
117
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,406
Bill, game room.
Now.
118
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:11,809
Can I have some more chips,
119
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,177
or would that be stepping
over the line, too?
120
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,181
Five! Four!
Three! Two! Onel
121
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,115
We did it!
Cowboys win!
122
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:21,383
( Cheering )
( phone rings )
123
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,549
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
124
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,080
Cowboys win!
125
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,490
Hey, Bob,
what's up, brother?
126
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,431
Huh. Willie specifically said,
"Come over for the game."
127
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,836
Boomhauer, are we
overstaying our welcome
128
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,463
if we watch
the post game show?
129
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,702
Mmm. Well... toss-up, man.
130
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,835
Oh, God. The post
game show's starting.
131
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:44,844
What do we do?
132
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,040
Well, it's our first time
at Willie's.
133
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,048
We don't want to come on
too strong.
134
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,049
Got dang,
135
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,609
I think that's
Jethro Pugh.
136
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,279
As God is my witness,
137
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,847
if I ever get back
inside that house,
138
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,552
I'm never going to leave.
139
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:03,894
( loud music playing )
140
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,989
One good thing
about other hillbillies--
141
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,467
At least they all pass out
by 9:00.
142
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,266
This guy need to shut up
or get stronger moonshine.
143
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:14,797
Then call him to lower
music, but be nice.
144
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,104
Maybe when we
go on vacation,
145
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:18,338
we finally have someone
to feed your stupid fish.
146
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:24,147
J Feel like making love
to you. I { phone ringing )
147
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,174
Rock on.
148
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,346
Yes, hello, rock on.
149
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,651
This Kahn So up ha no us in phone,
your neighbor,
150
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,054
and it's getting late.
151
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,059
Would you please lower
Bad Company?
152
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,857
Candy, climb on down.
153
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,728
I'm going to take care
of this situation.
154
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,732
Oh, Minh,
I think I'm getting somewhere.
155
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:41,860
Now, which one are you, pardner?
156
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,132
You right across the alley?
157
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,137
Yeah, that me.
158
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,003
He's coming to apologize.
159
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,064
That's a start.
160
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,544
Right on. So, your house
has the phone cord
161
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,842
running right by the side
of the house?
162
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,577
Yeah, I'm not sure why
that matter, but...
163
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,015
( loud static )
164
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,213
J Feel like making love
165
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,848
( screams ). The phone is
dead. Where my stun gun?
166
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:07,224
WILLIE: J Feel like
making love to you
167
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,354
Oh, my gosh, it's
almost midnight.
168
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,093
I To you, and you, and you,
and you and all of you. I.
169
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,191
Did you move back the
curfew in your block charter?
170
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,202
Because that would
be very sexy.
171
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,203
Well, sorry to be a tease,
172
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,331
but| just made
a one-time exemption.
173
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,364
Really? Then I want the fine
rescinded from my game night.
174
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,377
Well, Peggy,
the appeals process...
175
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:25,378
Oh, my God.
176
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:28,438
Kahn's hassling Willie.
177
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,248
Uh-oh, you in for it now,
big boy.
178
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,757
The Block Captain
never stand for nonsense.
179
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,954
Hank, he cut
my phone cable.
180
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,018
Yeah, right.
181
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,154
You're... dumb.
182
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,790
Kahn, please tell me you're
not going to run over here
183
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:49,132
and blame Willie every time
a phone call gets disconnected.
184
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,694
WILLIE:
Right on, Double-H.
185
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:51,704
Right on.
186
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:52,967
I am not lying!
187
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,974
Now listen,
you make my family follow
188
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,442
your stupid rules all the time.
189
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,002
So shut down
this jock ball.
190
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,604
It's a school night.
191
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,742
Hey, Double-H, I'll bet
a Cowboy fan like you
192
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:07,845
would love to meet
Roger Staubach's pool cleaner.
193
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,184
He's in there? Now?
194
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,782
Well, yeah,
he's a buddy of mine.
195
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,917
Come on in and meet him.
196
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,690
Uh... I wouldn't know
what to say.
197
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,493
He's very easy
to talk to.
198
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,022
Now, get on in there.
199
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,727
Hank, I need you!
200
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,258
Hank...
201
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,601
( whimpering ):
Block Captain.
202
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,845
I cannot
believe
203
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:39,375
you met Roger
Staubach's pool cleaner.
204
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,513
Yup. We played foosball.
205
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:42,521
He's a great guy.
206
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,523
Just a regular guy,
I tell you what.
207
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,786
KAHN:
Hey, Hank Hill,
208
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:46,815
I gave your
block charter
209
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,055
to Connie to
take to school
210
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,994
for report on hypocrisy.
211
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:55,799
She get an "A"
and teacher call you a monster.
212
00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:56,859
So what kind
of haircut
213
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,598
did the pool
cleaner have, huh?
214
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:01,471
Was he a redhead?
I'm picturing a red head.
215
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,875
Willie's giving me
some blocking lessons later.
216
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,208
He says I'd make
a great lineman,
217
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,577
like he was.
218
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,606
My son is getting a clinic
from a Dallas Cowboy.
219
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,449
I've always said you had
a lot of untapped bulk.
220
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:16,183
I'm going to do a push-up!
221
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:19,317
WILLIE: Which one of
you sports fans wants
222
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:23,057
to give old Willie
a ride to work?
223
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,393
How about you, Double H?
224
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,489
Excuse me, guys.
225
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:28,763
Official Cowboy business.
226
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,180
And that's how
I blocked that kick.
227
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,776
That story gets better
every time you tell it.
228
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,787
Hey, thanks for the lift
to work.
229
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,153
I'm probably still legally drunk
from my party.
230
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,157
( Sighs)
231
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,352
Yeah, uh, you know, Willie,
232
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,487
I've been meaning to talk to you
about that party.
233
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,496
Uh, I know
you haven't had a chance
234
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,895
to read the block charter yet,
235
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,526
but, uh, it did go on
a little late.
236
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,866
I hear you, chief.
237
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,133
But it's hard for me
to go to bars.
238
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,139
There's always one guy
239
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,141
who wants to prove
how tough he is
240
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,473
by taking on
an ex-football player.
241
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,104
That's why I party at home.
242
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,138
If I get in a fight,
at least it's with a friend.
243
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,172
Very responsible.
244
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,050
Hey, Hank,
you're a big Cowboy fan.
245
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:23,147
How would you like to buy
Deion Sander's truck?
246
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:26,215
I'll give you
the "friend's price."
247
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,226
Oh, wow.
248
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,160
Well, I-I mean, it's
a great opportunity,
249
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:31,220
but| don't really
need another truck.
250
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,528
Hank, thanks for the lift.
251
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:34,658
Rock on.
252
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,533
Rock on.
253
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,094
( Chuckles )
254
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,470
WILLIE:
Hurry, Switzer.
255
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:43,169
You can do it.
256
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,404
There you go.
257
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,411
Uh...
258
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,435
Willie, I know
259
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,208
Kahn's a pain in the neck,
260
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:52,014
but this isn't really how
we do things around here,
261
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,452
and even Kahn
never walks his dog
262
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,182
on anybody else's lawn.
263
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,417
I hear you, brother.
264
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,448
I just lost my
head for a second.
265
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,960
Oh, dang.
266
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,553
I forgot my baggie.
267
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,394
I'll run home
and grab one.
268
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:06,398
Come on, Switzer.
269
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:07,399
Come on, girl.
270
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:13,531
PEGGY:
Hank, how much
271
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:14,665
longer are you going to stare
272
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:17,176
at that big pile
of dog droppings?
273
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,609
Not much longer.
274
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,841
It's only been
a couple of hours.
275
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,905
I'm sure he
just forgot.
276
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,576
( Sighs)
277
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:28,554
I guess I'll just
go pick it up myself.
278
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:33,617
( Dale humming )
279
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,719
Hey, Hank, Willie called me
280
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:38,697
and asked me
to give him a ride home
281
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:42,292
and to thank me,
he gave me
282
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,461
the "friend's price"
283
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:48,270
on Cowboy legend Deion
"Prime Time" Sanders' Hyundai.
284
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,276
Now, help me push it
into my garage.
285
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:55,043
Dad, check out
what Willie taught me.
286
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,310
( Groans )
287
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:59,512
Now who's your daddy, huh?
288
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,418
Big Willie Lane!
289
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,617
Bobby, what
are you doing?
290
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:05,886
That's cheating.
291
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:09,088
Willie says
it ain't cheating
292
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:12,257
if you don't get caught.
293
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,198
That's not true.
294
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:18,034
Well, what the heck
happened here?
295
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:22,235
Your new pig-headed, jock
friend dug holes in my lawn.
296
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,242
( Sighs)
297
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,404
Lawn-scape assault is
in clear violation
298
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,345
of article nine
of the charter.
299
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,279
( Sighs)
300
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,281
This ends today.
301
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:34,845
Mister, you are out of control,
302
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,651
and it's time
you get in line.
303
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,657
You know, I used to think
you were a cool guy.
304
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:43,595
I can be very cool when someone
follows our neighborhood guidelines.
305
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,597
Now get over there
306
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,725
and start helping
Kahn fill those holes.
307
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,305
You know, Hank, you seem
to have a lot of spirit.
308
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,212
How would you like a pep rally?
309
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,580
Hey, we could make a bonfire!
310
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:08,713
No, don't..
Stop that!
311
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:15,388
( Sighs ).
All right, that does it!
312
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,157
( Faughing )
313
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,756
So these guys started a fire
in the alley
314
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:23,702
and tore some planks
off my fence.
315
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:26,000
You do realize that
this is a felony.
316
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:31,767
Sweet Betty,
317
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,007
that's a Super Bowl ring!
318
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,141
McMurtry, get your keister
over here.
319
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:37,581
I'm Willie Lane.
320
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,585
It's nice to
meet you officers.
321
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,179
This is the guy who
blocked that kick.
322
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,588
Uh, Officers Brown
and McMurtry,
323
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,649
there's the matter
of the fire here...
324
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,025
Hey, let me try that Super
Bowl ring on, will you?
325
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:54,159
Last time that thing was off
was 500 beers ago.
326
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,167
( Faughs )
327
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,168
Officers, uh, about the fire.
328
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,170
Willie, you didn't start
this fire, did you?
329
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,171
He probably did it,
330
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:04,006
and now he's trying
to pin it on me.
331
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,978
'You guys can't possibly
believe him. The man...
332
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:07,980
Enough out
of you.
333
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:08,981
Now get back inside
334
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,744
and stop hassling
Big Willie.
335
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:16,017
Hey, if we kicked
a few footballs,
336
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:19,025
could you block 'em?
337
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:24,292
All right,
you snap and Kick.
338
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,355
( Cheering )
339
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,728
Dad, can I have a
ride to the store?
340
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,035
Willie borrowed my bike
341
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,405
and seems
to have lost track of it.
342
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,409
Chug! Chug! Chug!
343
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:42,142
You know, for a guy who was
a pro athlete, Willie's drunk a lot.
344
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:43,876
( Sighs ).
Yeah, I know, Bobby.
345
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,613
Have you thought about where
we're going to move to?
346
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:49,144
I heard Tampa's nice.
347
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:50,747
We're not moving anywhere.
348
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:54,556
( Men shouting )
349
00:14:54,594 --> 00:15:02,467
I got you in my sights.
350
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:08,464
I'm going to pack,
Justin case.
351
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,008
Hank?
352
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,535
Kahn,
353
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,412
I'm sorry
I didn't believe you.
354
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,908
No man should have to live
to see this done to his lawn.
355
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:22,046
So I was thinking
we could work together
356
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,283
to get rid of Willie.
357
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:25,313
I talked to my
father-in-law last night.
358
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,793
He knows a guy who
will do it for 5,000.
359
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,421
Kahn, I'll only operate
within the confines
360
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,591
of state law
and the block charter.
361
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,600
DALE:
Incoming!
362
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:37,426
You sure about this?
363
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,768
Because maybe we can
get hit man to throw in Gribble
364
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,797
as freebie.
365
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:53,009
We mow in two minutes, Kahn.
366
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,886
What do you think
you're doing?
367
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,947
Willie's sleeping
off a hangover.
368
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,981
That's exactly
what I figured.
369
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,960
Kahn and I are going
to fire up our mowers
370
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,326
every day at 7:00 a.m.,
371
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:07,628
the earliest time for mowing
permitted in the block charter.
372
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,897
Eventually it'll drive
that hungover bastard
373
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,426
off the block.
374
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,702
Over Bill's bruised
and lacerated body, you will.
375
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,708
Lay down in front
of the mower, Bill.
376
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,107
Okay.
377
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,578
What happened to you guys?
378
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:20,909
Bill, don't you remember
379
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,915
when this was
the kind of neighborhood
380
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,917
where you could leave
your door unlocked at night,
381
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,976
and no one would steal
your refrigerator?
382
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,919
I've been keeping my food
in the tub.
383
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,050
And Dale, you believed
in the block charter so strongly
384
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:34,253
you sighed it
with your real name.
385
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:37,228
It's the only time
I've ever done that.
386
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:42,793
Gentlemen, it is a new morning
on Rainey Street.
387
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:56,683
( Engines roaring )
388
00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:03,554
( Snarls, barks)
389
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,648
It's not working.
390
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,251
Time for Plan B.
391
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,557
There's a plan B?
392
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:15,090
We didn't tell you
for your own protection.
393
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:19,601
They wouldn't dare have
their basket-bottle tournament
394
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,199
with Deion Sanders' car
in the way.
395
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:25,040
They were going to make me dance
during halftime.
396
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:26,442
WILLIE: We can't
play bottle donkey
397
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,642
with that car in our court.
398
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:30,945
WILLIE:
Hey, Fitzy,
399
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:36,046
Tom, Tommy, Jack, Joe, Bear!
400
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,783
HANK:
Oh, what the...?
401
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:43,625
DALE:
Deion's car!
402
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,125
BILL ( gasping ):
Hank, your lawn!
403
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,498
I know, Bill, I know,
404
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,266
but I think Willie just tossed
his last car
405
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:56,640
on his last neighbor's lawn.
406
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,805
Why would I tip a car
over on my own lawn?
407
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,176
I don't know.
408
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:02,442
It puzzles me.
409
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,176
But Willie says
he didn't do it,
410
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:06,685
and we have no evidence
that proves otherwise.
411
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,278
OFFICER:
Uh, Willie, this here's
412
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,847
Officers Collins
and Winchell.
413
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:11,755
( Chuckling )
414
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:12,986
They're off duty
415
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,857
but came by because
they wanted to meet you.
416
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,521
Could we check out
that Super Bowl ring?
417
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,121
WILLIE ( chuckling ):
This little old thing?
418
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,222
Sure.
419
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,630
Hey! Let's take
a group picture.
420
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:26,469
McMurtry, grab
the Polaroid.
421
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:30,499
Hey, I used to have
a camera like that.
422
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,375
It must have gotten lost
in the move.
423
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:35,244
Well, here,
take this one.
424
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,214
POLICE DISPATCH:
All units,
425
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:40,116
310 in progress
at 250 Arroyo Grande.
426
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:43,281
Please respond.
427
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:47,687
Heh! Little help.
428
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,627
( Frustrated grow! )
429
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,563
Help?! I help you get
the hell out of my neighborhood,
430
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:56,125
you big fat, muscle-headed load
of rat jackal-pig-dog-waste!
431
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,598
You just called me a pig?
432
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,768
Oh, you don't like that?
433
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,243
Well, I don't care anymore!
434
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,244
I don't sleep.
435
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,246
My career is going
in the toilet.
436
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,247
My little girl
can't study.
437
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:11,409
And all because
some fat, jock slob
438
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:14,283
play a little football
and block a kick!
439
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,287
I don't even know
what it means
440
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,379
to block a kick,
441
00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:19,517
but if you can do it,
then any idiot can do it!
442
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,219
HANK:
Back off.
443
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:24,389
We don't fight on this block.
444
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:27,957
( Groans )
445
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,901
Kill him, Hank!
Bill's got your back!
446
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:31,903
No, Dale.
447
00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:33,905
If I hit him back,
it's a fight.
448
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,498
Right now,
it's assault.
449
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,771
Ain't nobody going
to believe you, chief.
450
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,608
Bear, you see me hit this guy?
451
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,580
Yeah. I-I mean, no.
He-he tried to rob you.
452
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,413
Oh, you did so hit Hank.
453
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:46,009
Just look at his poor face.
454
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:47,019
A big bruise
455
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,522
and the words
"sallad syobwoc." Huh?
456
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:56,052
That's weird.
457
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,496
Looks like Willie
just hung himself.
458
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,968
Kahn, take a picture.
459
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,731
Good thinking, Hank.
460
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:12,770
Now we got evidence.
461
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,675
Dale, put it in
your wall safe!
462
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:22,678
DALE:
Squirrel tactic!
463
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:34,030
Now, listen here.
464
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,933
No one else in this town
has a Super Bowl ring,
465
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,404
so that picture
is proof of assault.
466
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:40,564
Assault? It...
467
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:44,839
Willie can't afford
another assault charge, pardner.
468
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,709
That'd be totally uncool.
469
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,238
Then you've got two weeks
to get out of that house
470
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,771
and off our block.
471
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,875
I'm gonna need more time
than that.
472
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,183
The charter clearly states
that when a neighbor is deposed,
473
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:58,418
they get two weeks
to get off the block.
474
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:02,553
And that's all
you're getting.
475
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,068
Thank you, Hank Hill.
476
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,406
Here.
477
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:18,740
Yep.
478
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,745
Yep.
479
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:20,746
Yep.
480
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:24,080
Mm-hmm.
481
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,518
In my experience, a lot of
people say they gonna hit you,
482
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,782
but not many actually do it.
483
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:07,985
HANK:
Rock on.
484
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,722
KAHN:
Yes, hello, rock on.
485
00:22:09,772 --> 00:22:14,322
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