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Captioning sponsored by
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
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00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:19,125
and TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
TELEVISION
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00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:34,518
Q-bag.
4
00:00:35,686 --> 00:00:36,676
Q- bod.
5
00:00:36,753 --> 00:00:39,085
No, man.
Looks like dang ol' "Mogmo."
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00:00:39,189 --> 00:00:41,351
I'm not even going
to give this animal
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00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:43,917
the satisfaction
of trying to read it.
8
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,292
That's just what he wants.
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00:00:45,329 --> 00:00:47,388
One day you're living
in paradise.
10
00:00:47,431 --> 00:00:49,866
Next day,
it's a crime-ridden slum.
11
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:52,926
Society's going
to hell in a hand basket.
12
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,302
I blame the media-blamers.
13
00:00:55,339 --> 00:00:57,364
( Car approaching )
14
00:00:57,407 --> 00:01:01,571
MAN:
And one more thing, people.
15
00:01:01,612 --> 00:01:05,014
K-107 is sponsoring
this year's science fair
16
00:01:05,048 --> 00:01:08,279
which now will be known
as "Rock the Science."
17
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,286
The winner gets
to present their findings
18
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,846
to Easy Ed
and the Chicken Boy.
19
00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:14,584
Bell rings)
20
00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:15,592
Dude, you want
to be my partner
21
00:01:15,626 --> 00:01:16,752
for the science fair?
22
00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:18,761
I found a dead bird
in my backyard
23
00:01:18,795 --> 00:01:20,763
we could probably
do something with.
24
00:01:20,797 --> 00:01:21,764
Thanks, Joseph
25
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,960
but I'd like to increase
my chances of winning
26
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,265
and decrease my
chances of working.
27
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:28,897
Hey, Connie, want to be
my science partner?
28
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:29,906
That'd be great!
29
00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:32,500
I've got about 50
awesome ideas.
30
00:01:32,542 --> 00:01:35,102
Well, 57 if we're allowed
to use radium.
31
00:01:35,145 --> 00:01:41,551
I'll e-mail them
to you tonight.
32
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:43,610
Why are you trying to get
back together with her?
33
00:01:43,654 --> 00:01:45,349
What? I'm not.
34
00:01:45,389 --> 00:01:47,289
It's just a science project.
35
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:49,418
It's not like
we're in a play together.
36
00:01:49,459 --> 00:01:51,518
Dude, she might be
thinking something else.
37
00:01:51,561 --> 00:01:54,087
When she walked out of the room,
she looked back at you.
38
00:01:54,131 --> 00:01:55,121
I think you've been reading
39
00:01:55,165 --> 00:01:57,759
too many of your dad's
romance novels.
40
00:01:57,801 --> 00:02:00,896
Why else would
the smartest girl in class
41
00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:02,132
want to work with you?
42
00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:04,834
You made sun tea for
last year's science project.
43
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:10,837
Uh-oh.
44
00:02:16,153 --> 00:02:17,143
Damn vandal.
45
00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:18,814
This'll probably
take us hours
46
00:02:18,855 --> 00:02:21,119
between the joking around
and the horseplay.
47
00:02:21,158 --> 00:02:22,853
And the beer runs.
48
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,554
Look, we're all upset
49
00:02:24,594 --> 00:02:26,688
but this guy hasn't
licked me yet.
50
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:27,856
This is going
to be cool.
51
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:31,459
Here we go.
52
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,830
That was fast.
53
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:38,238
'You missed a spot.
54
00:02:38,275 --> 00:02:39,140
I did?
55
00:02:39,176 --> 00:02:40,405
No, man,
he didn't.
56
00:02:40,444 --> 00:02:42,913
Like a dang ol' shadow.
57
00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:44,937
I got to let her down easy.
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00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,779
Normally, I'd start with a joke
59
00:02:46,817 --> 00:02:49,718
but that's how she fell for me
in the first place.
60
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,721
You know what might
soften the blow?
61
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,723
Tell her
I've always been into her.
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00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,851
And that I always stare at her
not because I'm creepy
63
00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,087
but because I'm deep.
64
00:02:57,127 --> 00:03:02,224
I'll do what I can.
65
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,291
Hey, partner.
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00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:08,396
( Grunts)
67
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,429
( Groaning )
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00:03:10,474 --> 00:03:11,464
Connie?
69
00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:12,498
Whoa.
70
00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:16,706
I knew you weren't
wearing slutty lipstick.
71
00:03:16,747 --> 00:03:17,714
Huh?
72
00:03:17,748 --> 00:03:18,772
I just got flipped by this girl
73
00:03:18,815 --> 00:03:19,907
who looked kind of like you
74
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,918
but she was dressed
like a teenager.
75
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:25,183
Ugh! That's Tid Pao,
my cousin from L.A.
76
00:03:25,222 --> 00:03:26,917
She's sleeping in my room.
77
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,118
LA?
78
00:03:28,158 --> 00:03:30,320
She was so in my face,
I thought New York
79
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,762
but L.A. is even better.
80
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:34,525
Hey
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00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:35,998
ain't you the fat kid
who jumped me?
82
00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:37,363
Yes, yes, I am.
83
00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:38,527
Bobby Hill.
84
00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:45,599
So, Tid Pao,
how long you going to be here
85
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,609
on the Third Coast?
86
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,667
Till I ain't.
87
00:03:47,711 --> 00:03:49,679
She's here for the rest
of the semester.
88
00:03:49,713 --> 00:03:51,408
Not that anyone asked me.
89
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,917
And while you're here,
stop attacking people.
90
00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:56,282
This isn't L.A.
where "anything goes."
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00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,481
Where it's cool
to take me to Knott's Berry Farm
92
00:03:58,522 --> 00:04:00,786
and totally ditch me.
93
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,019
Whoa, sorry,
I didn't know
94
00:04:02,058 --> 00:04:04,186
I was smacking down
your boyfriend.
95
00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:05,752
Uh, boyfriend?
96
00:04:05,796 --> 00:04:06,763
Well...
97
00:04:06,797 --> 00:04:07,764
Well, he's... uh...
98
00:04:07,798 --> 00:04:09,459
I'm not!
99
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,263
We're just science partners.
100
00:04:11,301 --> 00:04:12,462
Nothing more.
101
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,697
( Scoffs ).
Peace.
102
00:04:13,737 --> 00:04:14,727
Catch you later.
103
00:04:14,771 --> 00:04:17,331
"Catch you later's" still
a cool phrase, isn't it?
104
00:04:17,374 --> 00:04:19,240
I mean,
have you ever used it?
105
00:04:19,276 --> 00:04:20,243
No.
106
00:04:20,277 --> 00:04:21,676
Okay. Whew.
107
00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:24,112
Everybody,
we have a new student:
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00:04:24,147 --> 00:04:25,376
Tid Pao.
109
00:04:25,415 --> 00:04:27,383
Now, I know
there are a number of ways
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00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:28,316
we can make fun
of her name
111
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,841
like "Kung Pao"
112
00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:34,119
or I suppose "Tid Poo,"
so let's have none of that.
113
00:04:34,157 --> 00:04:37,491
So, do you enjoy exploring
the mysterious world of science?
114
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,494
Do you?
115
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,495
Uh... yes.
116
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,931
Did you see
how she turned it around on him?
117
00:04:42,966 --> 00:04:45,663
Okay, Tid Pao will
need a part her
118
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,192
for the science fair.
119
00:04:47,237 --> 00:04:49,569
I assume Joseph is available.
120
00:04:49,606 --> 00:04:50,664
I don't want Tid Pao.
121
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,936
I want Connie.
122
00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:53,033
You want Tid Pao.
123
00:04:53,076 --> 00:04:55,443
BOBBY: That whole family is hot.
124
00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:57,846
We could do something
with photosynthesis
125
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,815
but that's not very sexy.
126
00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:02,217
And of course,
mitochondrial cell swapping
127
00:05:02,252 --> 00:05:04,220
has been done to death.
128
00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:06,985
Connie, I think we
should switch partners.
129
00:05:07,023 --> 00:05:07,990
What?!
130
00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:10,186
You asked me
to be your partner
131
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,594
and now you're blowing me off?
132
00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:13,596
Great.
133
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:14,597
Fine.
134
00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:15,598
'You and Joseph have fun.
135
00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:17,600
So what's it going to be,
paper airplanes?
136
00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:18,863
How a rock works?
137
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,768
Actually...
138
00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,533
I want to work with Tid Pao.
139
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,542
But she's just
a stuck-up wise ass
140
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,010
who wears too much makeup.
141
00:05:28,044 --> 00:05:29,944
And the real reason
142
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,950
her parents made her leave L.A.
143
00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:35,918
is because her grades
are slipping.
144
00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:37,545
That's right, slipping.
145
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,681
So, she's not book-smart.
146
00:05:39,723 --> 00:05:42,124
She gets an "A" in cool.
147
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,357
Hi, science partner.
148
00:05:47,397 --> 00:05:50,264
'You want to see my dead bird?
149
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,495
Man, I hate it here.
150
00:05:51,535 --> 00:05:53,094
I just want to come home.
151
00:05:53,136 --> 00:05:54,934
GIRL:
Too soon, Q-Bag.
152
00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:56,132
Know what I'm saying?
153
00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:58,140
The Olvera Street Queens
still going off
154
00:05:58,174 --> 00:05:59,938
about that kilo you stole.
155
00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:01,842
Yo, just stay away, yo.
156
00:06:01,878 --> 00:06:05,746
Yeah, maybe I should give back
what I took from them.
157
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,750
Where you going
to cop that much meth?
158
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,752
'You don't know any dealers
down there.
159
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,118
I guess I'll have
to cook it up myself.
160
00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:14,123
I just got to get a hold
of the equipment.
161
00:06:14,157 --> 00:06:15,556
'You better be careful, girl.
162
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:19,392
People probably got their eye
on you.
163
00:06:19,429 --> 00:06:20,794
No sweat.
164
00:06:20,830 --> 00:06:22,798
I can con one
of these inbred hicks
165
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:24,596
to do my dirty work for me.
166
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,692
Hi.
167
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,328
Hold on.
168
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:29,862
Yo, Cleo, that hot dude
from next door is here.
169
00:06:29,906 --> 00:06:31,840
Call you back.
170
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:34,867
Will you be my science fair
partner?
171
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:37,937
Science partners, huh?
172
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,881
Sounds cool.
173
00:06:39,916 --> 00:06:41,645
All right!
174
00:06:41,685 --> 00:06:44,017
I mean... 'Sup?
175
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,784
BILL: See? I was
right. It's Q-Bag.
176
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,796
There's the "Q,"
and that's clearly "bag."
177
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,491
Gentlemen
178
00:06:55,532 --> 00:06:58,365
I believe I've solved
our graffiti problem.
179
00:06:58,401 --> 00:07:01,462
We build a protective
razor-wire-topped fence
180
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,701
around our existing fence.
181
00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:05,708
( Sighs)
182
00:07:05,742 --> 00:07:06,709
Dang it, Dale...
183
00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:07,710
that's genius.
184
00:07:07,744 --> 00:07:08,711
Indeed.
185
00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:11,339
I will use a salami to simulate
186
00:07:11,381 --> 00:07:14,282
what this stuff will do
to a vandal's arm.
187
00:07:14,317 --> 00:07:15,284
Hmm.
188
00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:18,845
We need a real arm. Bill?
189
00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:22,791
BOBBY:
Hey, Tid Pao
190
00:07:22,826 --> 00:07:26,694
I've been, uh
191
00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:29,700
( clears throat )
192
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:32,896
Jamming on some
science fair ideas.
193
00:07:32,936 --> 00:07:36,167
I've got some notions
involving goggles
194
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,265
and some kind of beaker.
195
00:07:38,308 --> 00:07:39,298
Why don't we
get together
196
00:07:39,342 --> 00:07:41,310
tonight for a brainstorming
session?
197
00:07:41,344 --> 00:07:42,470
See where it takes us.
198
00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:45,038
Don't worry about it.
199
00:07:45,081 --> 00:07:48,244
I already got an idea.
200
00:07:48,284 --> 00:07:49,251
Awesome.
201
00:07:49,285 --> 00:07:52,744
I'll pick you
up at 7:00.
202
00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:55,190
Luann, you're the
hippest person I know.
203
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,661
I need to take Tid Pao
someplace that's not boring.
204
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,561
'You know, sophisticated
205
00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:03,032
but close enough that
I can ride my bike.
206
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:06,297
Okay. Um... you know
what's exciting?
207
00:08:06,336 --> 00:08:10,466
That place where you bet
on which chicken is madder.
208
00:08:10,507 --> 00:08:11,872
I could not help
overhearing
209
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:15,003
and I cannot help
making some suggestions.
210
00:08:15,045 --> 00:08:16,012
Here's what to do.
211
00:08:16,046 --> 00:08:17,707
The Pioneer
Women's Museum.
212
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:21,911
Mom, I'm looking for cool,
not lame.
213
00:08:21,951 --> 00:08:23,214
Lame? Well, maybe
214
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,585
if you think it's "lame"
to spend an evening
215
00:08:25,622 --> 00:08:28,250
with costumes and artifacts
used by our foremothers.
216
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:31,591
BOBBY: 1 bet you
thought we were too hick
217
00:08:31,628 --> 00:08:32,857
to have sushi in Arlen.
218
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:35,695
And a year ago,
you would have been right.
219
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,291
MAN: Salmon's almost defrosted
220
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,494
so it'll be just a sec.
221
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:41,903
Your fries are ready, though.
222
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,101
( Coughing )
223
00:08:45,141 --> 00:08:47,132
Yo, man, this tuna's from a can.
224
00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:50,772
I got it, Carl.
225
00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:53,408
Maybe we should go
roller-skating.
226
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,750
My mother clipped
a coupon for me.
227
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,220
( Scoffs )
228
00:08:58,254 --> 00:08:59,221
Um...
229
00:08:59,255 --> 00:09:01,223
BOBBY:
Oh, no!
230
00:09:01,257 --> 00:09:04,227
They're after us!
231
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,728
( Sighs)
232
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:09,460
This is crap,
isn't it?
233
00:09:09,499 --> 00:09:10,967
The crappiest.
234
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,967
Ooh
235
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:15,437
I don't think you're supposed
236
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,442
to touch the women.
237
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,671
Got boogs?!
238
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,906
( Faughs )
239
00:09:22,946 --> 00:09:24,414
( Faughing )
240
00:09:24,447 --> 00:09:31,149
I think the cow wants
to milk Grandma.
241
00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:32,655
( Faughing )
242
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:36,648
You know what we should
do for our project?
243
00:09:36,693 --> 00:09:38,627
Find out how
boys like Bobby
244
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,026
could possibly be interested
245
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,498
in some street trash
like Tid Pao.
246
00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:47,129
You know, if you're tired,
you could crash here.
247
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:50,401
Oh, Joseph, I
really don't want
248
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,875
to get into this again.
249
00:09:52,909 --> 00:09:53,876
Joseph!
250
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:58,871
Joseph, don't forget
to do the yawn and stretch.
251
00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:01,077
( Yawns )
252
00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:04,485
Uh.
253
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,218
Hey, check this out.
254
00:10:08,258 --> 00:10:10,727
You're the one
doing that?
255
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,319
My dad keeps having
to sandblast
256
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,956
rest a in and lacquer it off.
257
00:10:14,998 --> 00:10:16,523
He's the one doing that?
258
00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:17,795
'You've got to understand.
259
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,427
He doesn't even approve
260
00:10:19,469 --> 00:10:20,834
of bumper stickers.
261
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:28,004
'Yeah, but you're cooler
than that, aren't you?
262
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:31,537
Give me that can.
263
00:10:31,581 --> 00:10:32,548
Hmm.
264
00:10:32,582 --> 00:10:36,018
Check it out, girl.
265
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,816
I'm representing!
266
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,618
BILL:
Q-Bag!
267
00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:41,385
Painterer!
You
268
00:10:41,424 --> 00:10:43,188
inside now.
269
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,695
Dang it, Bobby.
270
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:46,718
Your mother and |
271
00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:49,255
took our wedding photos
in front of that fence.
272
00:10:49,299 --> 00:10:52,030
Man, I'm just
keepin' it real, dawg.
273
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,035
( Chuckling )
274
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,764
You'd never make it in LA.
275
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:57,535
I hope I never make it fo L.A.
276
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,564
I could make it in L.A.
277
00:10:58,608 --> 00:11:00,872
I just have very fair skin.
278
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,004
My dermatologist says
it would be a death sentence.
279
00:11:03,046 --> 00:11:04,013
What's that?
280
00:11:04,047 --> 00:11:06,015
I'm sorry, Mom,
I-I couldn't hear you
281
00:11:06,049 --> 00:11:07,448
over the crickets and banjos.
282
00:11:07,483 --> 00:11:10,214
Mister, if you think
you're in a small town now
283
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,483
you're about to be
mayor of your room
284
00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:14,581
for a few months,
I tell you what.
285
00:11:14,624 --> 00:11:16,820
And stay away
from that Tid Pao.
286
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:19,022
And don't think
I can't tell the difference
287
00:11:19,062 --> 00:11:21,588
between her and Connie
because I can.
288
00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:22,996
I swear
to your father
289
00:11:23,032 --> 00:11:24,363
I keep you out of trouble
290
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,368
and now you get mixed up
with Bobby Hill!
291
00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:28,632
What is it
with you beautiful Asian girls
292
00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,730
and that stupid redneck boy?!
293
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,265
Why so self-destructive?
294
00:11:33,309 --> 00:11:34,435
Low self-esteem?
295
00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:36,946
Uh, long distance.
296
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:38,470
You use
calling card?
297
00:11:38,514 --> 00:11:40,448
Of course not.
298
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:42,281
Yeah, the stuff
will be ready by next week.
299
00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:44,946
I just got to sell it,
then book it back to Cali.
300
00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:46,854
I'll bring you a little extra
for your birthday.
301
00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:48,380
Aw...
302
00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:50,483
MAN ( on radio ):
Clear your calendars
303
00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:52,051
open-cockpit biplane fans.
304
00:11:52,095 --> 00:11:53,529
This weekend is the dedication
305
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,554
of Arlen Airfield's
new wind sock.
306
00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:59,228
( Sighing heavily )
307
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,548
Yo, Tid Pao
308
00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:15,244
my dad said I couldn't see you
309
00:12:15,285 --> 00:12:17,777
and I just said, "Chill, Hank.
310
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,221
You don't tell me what..."
311
00:12:20,256 --> 00:12:21,690
Close the door!
312
00:12:21,724 --> 00:12:25,092
Oh, crap! Did my dad see me?!
313
00:12:25,128 --> 00:12:27,688
Whoa. My dad said
that you're a bad influence
314
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:30,859
and here you got half
our science fair project done.
315
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:31,867
What are we making?
316
00:12:31,901 --> 00:12:33,665
It's a... candy machine.
317
00:12:33,703 --> 00:12:34,670
All right!
318
00:12:34,704 --> 00:12:38,265
Hard candy, chewy candy,
sticky candy, gummy candy?
319
00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:39,275
Just candy.
320
00:12:39,309 --> 00:12:40,276
Interesting.
Interesting.
321
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:43,769
So, what's the filling--
caramel, nougat, nuts, jelly?
322
00:12:43,813 --> 00:12:46,077
You ready to help me?
323
00:12:46,115 --> 00:12:47,082
Anything, partner.
324
00:12:47,116 --> 00:12:51,075
Yo, your dad works at
a propane place, right?
325
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,088
Yeah, I'm going
to need, like, four tanks.
326
00:12:53,122 --> 00:12:54,817
Uh, I don't know.
327
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,292
As soon as I ask him,
he'll want to know what it's for
328
00:12:57,327 --> 00:12:59,762
and when your name
comes up, no go.
329
00:12:59,796 --> 00:13:02,993
Then don't ask him.
330
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,591
But...
331
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:07,831
( sighing seductively )
332
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,237
( Moaning )
333
00:13:10,273 --> 00:13:13,470
( Grunting and sighing )
334
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:16,706
Sometimes I over think.
335
00:13:16,746 --> 00:13:19,306
( Hank sighing )
336
00:13:19,349 --> 00:13:21,750
Can you believe the sass
coming out of his mouth?
337
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:23,752
And now it's on my fence.
338
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:24,878
Oh, come on, Hank.
339
00:13:24,921 --> 00:13:26,889
He's just trying
to impress a girl.
340
00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,914
Remember how when
we were first dating
341
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:31,359
you used to run up
the down escalators?
342
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,361
Yeah, well
343
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,626
at least
he was using paint.
344
00:13:39,502 --> 00:13:41,732
This is your dad's job?
345
00:13:41,771 --> 00:13:43,796
This place stinks.
346
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,571
Uh, yeah, you
think that's bad?
347
00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:48,805
You should get a
whiff of his overalls.
348
00:13:48,845 --> 00:13:49,778
Most of his
customers
349
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:51,678
pay him in manure.
350
00:13:51,714 --> 00:13:53,910
We're going to need
two more tanks.
351
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:56,180
But these were
the only little ones outside.
352
00:13:56,219 --> 00:13:58,950
So, get some from inside.
353
00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:00,888
'You've already jacked
his key chain.
354
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,153
What's the biggie?
355
00:14:03,192 --> 00:14:07,129
Oh...
356
00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:09,662
( noise from behind door )
357
00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:11,664
( Gasping and panting )
358
00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:15,865
Just going to grab
a soda, fellas.
359
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,628
Morning, Joe Jack.
360
00:14:46,669 --> 00:14:48,398
Morning, Enrique.
361
00:14:48,438 --> 00:14:54,639
Morning, darlin'.
362
00:14:54,677 --> 00:14:56,736
Oh, my God!
363
00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:58,747
Mr. Strickland,
we've been robbed!
364
00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:04,220
No, no, it all got spent
on coffee yesterday. Honest.
365
00:15:04,253 --> 00:15:08,986
What the hell is
going on in this town?
366
00:15:09,025 --> 00:15:11,960
First kids
are spray-painting fences.
367
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,463
Now someone is stealing propane.
368
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,990
I can understand wanting propane
so bad you could steal it
369
00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:20,298
but to actually
go through with it?
370
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,599
What kind of sicko
371
00:15:21,637 --> 00:15:23,162
would do that?
372
00:15:23,206 --> 00:15:24,173
( Sighing )
373
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:26,175
Well, the propane
is under my watch
374
00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:27,540
so, it's coming
out of my pay.
375
00:15:27,577 --> 00:15:31,411
I was thinking maybe
376
00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:33,541
we can sell our first
batch of candy
377
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:35,551
and use the money
to repay my dad.
378
00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:39,215
Also, I was thinking
we could call them Bobby Ruths.
379
00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:40,222
Forget that.
380
00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:44,318
I need you to jack us
some cough syrup, yo.
381
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,886
You know, to finish our project.
382
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:47,896
More stealing?
383
00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:50,865
'Yeah, we got heavy into that
in the sixth grade.
384
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,629
It's kind of played out.
385
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:55,296
Now we're into asking
our parents for the money
386
00:15:55,338 --> 00:15:57,670
and explaining
what it's for.
387
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,232
( Sniffing )
388
00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:03,212
Yeah, that's what's cool now.
389
00:16:03,246 --> 00:16:05,613
Come on, Q-Bob.
390
00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:07,639
Uh, I got five bucks.
391
00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:10,050
We can go buy a bottle
of children's cherry.
392
00:16:10,086 --> 00:16:13,852
Man, you are so weak.
393
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:19,954
I'll meet you here
before the science fair.
394
00:16:19,996 --> 00:16:23,899
I mean, the science fizz-air.
395
00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,264
Check out this machine we made.
396
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,700
It picks up
radio signals.
397
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,500
( Exasperated sigh )
398
00:16:28,538 --> 00:16:29,596
It's an incubator,
Joseph.
399
00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:31,869
I had the radio on
in my room
400
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:32,875
while I was making it.
401
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,377
Then does music just...?
402
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,277
So, Bobby, where's
your cool girlfriend?
403
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:41,875
She'll be here.
Don't you worry about that.
404
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:50,451
Mom, the science
405
00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:51,483
fair's today.
406
00:16:51,527 --> 00:16:52,961
I need some cough syrup.
407
00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:54,588
Are you trying to play sick?
408
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:56,530
Because I will have
a thermometer in you
409
00:16:56,566 --> 00:16:57,829
before you can sit down.
410
00:16:57,867 --> 00:17:00,802
No, no, I want to go to school
and win that science fair.
411
00:17:00,836 --> 00:17:02,167
And when I come home
412
00:17:02,205 --> 00:17:06,073
the only thing I'm putting on
Dad's fence is a blue ribbon.
413
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,439
Or a Chicken Boy T-shirt.
414
00:17:07,476 --> 00:17:10,173
I don't remember
what the prizes were.
415
00:17:10,213 --> 00:17:14,047
I'll be honest with you.
416
00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:15,073
I'm a little uncomfortable
417
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,085
buying such a large
quantity of zoom
418
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,678
from a 13-year-old girl.
419
00:17:18,721 --> 00:17:21,247
Please, mister,
could I just get the deposit?
420
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,258
I'm late
for a Girl Scout meeting.
421
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,989
Don't you cross me, little girl.
422
00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:27,723
Just made my deal.
423
00:17:27,763 --> 00:17:31,222
It'll be enough to pay back
the Olvera Street Queens
424
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:34,168
and fly back to Cali
first class.
425
00:17:34,203 --> 00:17:36,638
Your punk ass picking me up
at the airport?
426
00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:38,071
Great, thanks.
427
00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:42,010
Oh, this is lemon!
428
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:56,883
You brought it here?
429
00:17:56,926 --> 00:17:59,020
God, you are one dumb-ass
pig farmer.
430
00:17:59,061 --> 00:18:00,529
What are you yelling at me for?
431
00:18:00,563 --> 00:18:02,861
I'm the one here
rocking the science.
432
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,161
Now, if you're ready
433
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,326
to make some candy
434
00:18:05,368 --> 00:18:08,269
hand me that brake fluid.
435
00:18:11,707 --> 00:18:12,731
What's that cop
436
00:18:12,775 --> 00:18:13,799
doing here?
437
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:14,674
Oh, that's
Mike Soto's dad.
438
00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:16,200
He's one of the judges.
439
00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:18,077
He was a substitute
science teacher
440
00:18:18,114 --> 00:18:20,913
last year while he was
on suspension from the force.
441
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:23,885
Yo, I got two priors.
442
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:28,220
But if you leave
you won't get any credit.
443
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:30,055
It's all yours, man.
444
00:18:30,092 --> 00:18:32,459
Fine, more "A's for me.
445
00:18:32,495 --> 00:18:36,295
Um, I think somebody
already did your project.
446
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:39,165
Oh, yeah, it's
right over there.
447
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,930
The vending
machine.
448
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,200
That the best dig
you got?
449
00:18:43,239 --> 00:18:46,732
Maybe you need to invent
a trash-talking machine.
450
00:18:46,776 --> 00:18:49,438
( Chortling )
451
00:18:55,518 --> 00:18:59,455
Doof! I hope this candy tastes
better than it smells.
452
00:18:59,488 --> 00:19:02,719
Oh, it's got to.
It smells like cat pee.
453
00:19:04,427 --> 00:19:07,419
Ammonia, cough syrup,
drain cleaner--
454
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:10,023
Bobby, you're not making candy.
455
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,036
Didn't you watch that MTV
special with Andy Dick?
456
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,901
You're making...
457
00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:15,904
methamphetamine.
458
00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:21,399
You know--
crystal meth, ice, crank?
459
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:24,778
Big deal,
I made a crank machine.
460
00:19:24,814 --> 00:19:28,182
I'll just change the sign
to "How a Crank Is Made."
461
00:19:28,217 --> 00:19:30,515
Now, quit blocking me
from the judges.
462
00:19:30,553 --> 00:19:33,955
It's drugs, Bobby--
the kind you go to jail for.
463
00:19:33,989 --> 00:19:35,923
Oh, God.
464
00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:37,483
I swear I didn't know.
465
00:19:37,526 --> 00:19:38,493
She set me up.
466
00:19:38,527 --> 00:19:40,495
I'm just a clod-hopping
pig farmer
467
00:19:40,529 --> 00:19:42,520
who was too dumb
to listen.
468
00:19:42,565 --> 00:19:44,590
'You were so right
about her.
469
00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:45,600
Yup.
470
00:19:45,634 --> 00:19:47,102
Connie, please, think.
471
00:19:47,136 --> 00:19:50,197
You got to help me.
472
00:19:50,239 --> 00:19:54,540
Hey, you wanted excitement,
you got it.
473
00:19:54,577 --> 00:19:58,275
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
474
00:19:58,314 --> 00:20:01,511
The compression
generated by the air pump
475
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:04,281
can launch the potato
with enough force
476
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:05,287
to go through
477
00:20:05,321 --> 00:20:07,119
a man's skull
at 100 yards.
478
00:20:07,156 --> 00:20:08,123
Candy?
479
00:20:08,157 --> 00:20:11,616
Bobby, this is a
refreshing change
480
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:15,563
from Emily's "Can
mice swim?" project.
481
00:20:15,598 --> 00:20:17,896
Turns out they can,
but not for long.
482
00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:18,900
Let me try a piece.
483
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:19,901
No, no, no. No.
484
00:20:19,935 --> 00:20:21,733
The experiment is a failure.
485
00:20:21,771 --> 00:20:23,170
I'll take the "F", sir.
486
00:20:23,205 --> 00:20:25,674
Ooh, it's like
rock candy.
487
00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:26,675
You know who has
488
00:20:26,709 --> 00:20:27,676
a sweet tooth?
489
00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:28,609
Officer Soto.
490
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,873
Chad?
491
00:20:29,912 --> 00:20:32,813
No, you can't!
492
00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:34,282
It's bad! It's too sweet!
493
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,408
You'll get diarrhea!
494
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,580
I sneezed in it!
495
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:56,027
W-What the heck
is wrong with you?!
496
00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:57,835
It was an accident.
497
00:20:57,873 --> 00:21:05,873
Prove it wasn't, yo.
498
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,986
I'm the last
uncle you got.
499
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,617
'You screw up here
500
00:21:16,659 --> 00:21:20,755
we ship you back
to Grandma in Laos.
501
00:21:20,796 --> 00:21:24,426
( Grunting )
502
00:21:26,469 --> 00:21:29,666
The yellow tail
smells a little funny
503
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:31,673
but it all smells
kind of funny to me.
504
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,005
Would you look at us�
505
00:21:34,176 --> 00:21:36,338
Chillin' in
a hip new sushi place
506
00:21:36,645 --> 00:21:38,340
right here in Arlen.
507
00:21:38,647 --> 00:21:40,172
Who needs LA?
508
00:21:42,251 --> 00:21:44,618
Hmm. So, this
is chicken tempura, huh?
509
00:21:46,021 --> 00:21:48,012
It's pretty good.
510
00:21:48,357 --> 00:21:51,019
Mmm, try it with the gravy,
Hank, it's... mmm.
511
00:21:53,028 --> 00:21:57,022
( Draw/ ).
Domo a rig a to.
512
00:22:05,608 --> 00:22:11,570
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
513
00:22:29,999 --> 00:22:32,434
Man, I'm just
keepin' it real, dawg.
514
00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:37,034
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