Original subtitles

- Previously on "Southern Charm"...

- I just realized how important that you are in my life.

- While Olivia and Austen had a heart to heart,

Taylor was hoping for one of her own.

- I want to invite Olivia to the lake house.

- * Ba-ba doo *

- But just as Shep and the guys thought they were

escaping to the mountains...

- Wow, this is amazing.

- Look at that guy.

- Oh.

- Some cold hard facts were revealed.

- Guess who left her bra

on my like little pouf?

- Olivia?

- Austen had Olivia over.

- So this is assuming that's hers.

- * Got a piece, now he's a factory *

- Austen got his just deserts.

- Wait, what?

- Olivia got comfy and took her bra off.

- Comfy? - Yeah.

- I believe him. - Then take your shoes off.

- * It's easy as the birds and the bees *

* And the one, two, threes, mm-hmm *

[soft music]

* *

- All right, Penny Pop, come on, let's go upstairs.

Morning. - Hey.

Good morning. - Hi.

- Did y'all sleep well? - Yeah.

- Let's have-- - Coffee?

- Sausage and eggs.

So let's bless the food.

So we can eat. - Yes.

- Rick, do you want to bless the food?

- Heavenly Father, we come to you

knowing that you are a King of Kings, Lord of Lords.

And we ask that you bless this food to nourish in our bodies.

So that we can serve you better.

It's in Christ's name we pray this, Amen.

Amen. - All right, let's eat.

There's orange juice if anybody wants it.

- This sausage is so good.

- Isn't it? - Yeah.

- Olivia gets here at--

- She'll be here in about an hour.

- Y'all should spend a little bit

of time sitting on the porch.

- It's nice out. Like, it's not freezing.

- It's just so soothing out there.

You know, it's been a very rough couple of weeks.

As one of her closest friends,

you have to own whatever it was for you guys

to come out on top of it.

- Yeah.

I'm excited.

But I'm a little bit nervous to see Olivia.

I just hope that we can fix this divide in our friendship

and move forward.

[tense music]

* *

[phone line trilling]

- Hey, Mom.

- Good. Is Dad home?

- Yeah. Well, I miss y'all.

- I'm heading up to Taylor's family's mountain house.

- Yeah, well, I was kind of hesitant to go.

- I just find myself like angry,

like really, really mad.

Between all this sh-- with Taylor and Austen,

and then what happened with my brother,

I don't even have the emotional capacity to function.

But there's unresolved things there.

And a part of me thinks that going to the lake

might be good for us.

And maybe I'll get some answers and some clarity

on what the hell I'm supposed to do with this friendship.

- I mean, I really do want to see her family.

Honestly, like, what's gotten me this far up this mountain

is just like looking forward to seeing them.

And I know it'll be a good visit with her parents.

But on the other side, I'm just like,

I don't really know how to navigate

talking about things with her.

- I know you're right.

It's just easier said than done.

- I will. Love you, bye.

[soft music]

[birds chirping]

* *

- [snoring]

- [yawns]

[bell chimes]

* *

- [burps]

[dog coughs]

[whimsical music]

* *

Go.

- [snoring]

[alarm blaring]

- [sighs]

Last night was lovely.

We had some cocktails.

- God damn.

- All is love in fair and blah, blah.

- The conversation was flowing.

- Can I address the elephant in the room?

- Please don't.

- There was male fellowship.

- Come here. Give me a hug, you big weirdo.

- Yeah.

- It was a pretty fun time.

- You're worked up.

- I am worked up because he's not going to stop doing this.

- Causing a disturbance in the force.

[phone line trilling]

- Hi, baby.

- How was your Valentine's Day?

- I am going to buy you a bag, baby.

- Fun.

And I kind of made a bomb-ass dinner

for everyone, which is cool.

- Well, I love you baby.

- Morning, morning.

- Good morning, Mr. Rod.

Do you want me to fire up some eggs and bacon?

- Absolutely.

- I also like-- - Oh, Craig!

I wish you didn't wake up at 6:00.

I'm still sleepy as (BLEEP),

and you're fully awake.

- I went for like a little walk and run kind of thing.

- Nice.

- There's like mountain views and stuff.

It's gorgeous.

I've been up since-- for four hours.

I've had nine cups of coffee, a hot chocolate.

But before I dive into cooking you breakfast,

would you like to tell me how you feel after last night?

- Oh, I was like, you know what?

I'm going to sleep on it, see how I feel in the morning.

And I feel the same.

I'm like kind of stuck on all this like info

that I got from Austen, which felt like a little bit

of a slap in the face.

He did what he typically does, which is take the first chance

to throw Olivia under the bus.

- Cuddled a little bit.

She gave me a big old hug.

She kissed me right on the chest.

And she ----ing left.

- It's tough because like, we're not together.

But you know, if she's ending up in another guy's house

the same night that we had a date, like, that's not ideal.

- I don't believe that.

- Well, I hope he's a liar again.

And you know--

- I hope our friend is a liar again.

- And we'll find out. - Said no one ever.

- I know.

- I think fly fishing will take our mind off it a little bit.

- Good morning. - Hi.

- What's the proper attire for fly fishing?

- They're going to give us waders.

So that takes care of your footwear.

- Jeans?

- Jeans, whatever.

- What kind of a shirt?

- Man, it's not complicated.

- [laughs] Is that bothering you?

- Yeah, just a little bit. - Really?

- Yeah, sun directly in the face.

- Is that helping your hangover right now?

- No. - [coughs]

- Do they serve alcohol there,

like if we want to drink in the water?

- You're like, kind of working too

hard to be drinking, right?

Like, you're like-- - Yeah, you should be.

- Hard work throwing that line.

- [coughs] I'm a little under the weather.

Nobody drink the milk.

I took a swig of it this morning,

and I've just been coughing and--

like a mad man.

So-- [coughs]

Oh, man.

- That's really good news, Shep.

I just poured milk in this coffee.

So I look forward to sharing your pain.

* *

- [burps]

- Coming up...

- Me and Paige, you know, we've been together for a while now.

- Yeah.

- It's time to like sh-- or get off the pot, you know?

Like-- - Have you said this to her?

- No.

- This is my hope and prayer.

Is that while you're here, that you would just remember

how much God loves you.

[upbeat music]

- It's nice out.

How far away is this place, Shep?

- 15 minutes.

- I'm starting to get a little buzz.

- [burps]

- OK.

Let's go rip some lips.

- What does that mean?

- When you hook a fish, you yank it.

So you rip the lips off these fish.

- That got really dark.

- That's really depressing.

- Look at that. - It's a beautiful day.

- Let's go.

- What's up, guys?

- Hey, man, how's it going?

- Shep. - Cole.

- Good to see you. - Hey, man.

- Good to see you. Yeah.

- What's up? Austen.

- Austen, nice to meet you.

- So he and I are the only one who's ever done this before.

I've done it a ton. He's done it a little.

- Perfect.

- Going to be ready to walk on the moon with these things.

- JT, hey, JT, what are you doing?

- I can't see anything. Can you help me?

I've never done this.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

your arm, dude, through.

There you go.

- I'm just a small town country lawyer.

- Everybody, come on down.

- All right, lead the way.

All right. - Let's do this.

- If the hook comes in, you want

to set downstream, whichever way the water is going.

- All right.

- And once that fish is on, y'all just

put your rod at 12:00.

And if it doesn't look like a candy cane,

I'm going to have you pull down some lines.

Y'all have any questions?

- No, let's go.

Let's rock and roll down the stream.

- Three of y'all can stay here with me.

Three of y'all can go down with Cole.

- Just watch your footing coming down here.

A lot of these rocks are loose here.

- Oh, sh--.

Oh, sh--.

- Your spot's going to be right up on the corner of that rock.

Maybe you can get in the water right there.

Probably be a good spot.

- Nice, that looks good, dude.

- Fly fishing makes me more happy than almost

anything in the world.

It just does.

You're so connected to nature.

- Nice cast.

- It feels good. You feel like a man.

- This is actually cool as (BLEEP).

- Whoo, oh, sh--.

This is the ----ing honey hole.

Shep, I saw it.

- And it is so satisfying to share

all this with your friends.

- Ah!

- Oh, no, got snagged.

- Jesus.

- I did kind of feel a little "A River Runs Through It"

Brad Pitt-y kind of vibe.

- I caught something.

Myself.

The hook is on my boot.

- I can just go in this, right?

- Sh--. - Oh, no.

- The (BLEEP) is JT doing?

- Whoo, whoo! That's cold.

Ah, ah!

Fly fishing is supposed to be cathartic, therapeutic,

contemplative, maybe.

It's all down.

I'm contemplating why I'm so cold, why I'm so wet,

and why no fish are biting.

And I want to get out of these waders immediately.

Oh, that is cold as (BLEEP).

[laughter]

Oh, my God.

- Oh, God, his waders are filled up.

- Any bites? - No bites.

- Did he catch one? - No.

- JT, you're scaring off the fish.

- Oh, I got one!

- Oh, there you go.

- Just keep the rod up.

- Oh, yeah, baby.

- Better be a big one.

- Yeah--no!

He unhooked!

No!

- That asshole almost caught that fish.

- I know, but he didn't.

- I hate that for you.

- No ----ing way.

- Oh, we got a stick.

I would like to catch a fish now.

- It's a patience game.

So how's Paige?

When is she coming back to town next, you know?

- A couple days. - Oh, nice.

I mean, do you see her coming to Charleston more permanent?

How far along do you think that is?

- I mean, I'm sitting around waiting

for her to decide if she'll be ready to move in together.

I guess I just don't know the map.

You know, you've been with Tyler for a long time now.

- Oh, here's Tyler and Rodrigo.

- I'm excited for this pheasant.

I've never eaten pheasant.

- How is that?

- You know, it's definite work.

I think we're now past our seven-year itch.

- No, that's great.

I mean, me and Paige, you know, we've

been together for a while now.

And I know I am right now being like, all right,

it's time to like sh-- or get off the pot.

You know like--

- Have you said this to her? - No.

- In an ideal world, what's your time

frame to get married?

- You know, if it was up to me, I would like to be engaged

by the end of the year.

- Oh, wow. - I just turned 35.

My parents had me and my brother at 28 and 29.

I'm six years past where they started.

Paige is 30.

And when we talk about this stuff,

she's usually like, well, I'll have kids at 35.

Five years from now, I'll be 40.

My biological clock is ticking.

Like, I want that storybook life.

Like I do want the white picket fence.

I just think I want to make sure we continue

to trend in that direction.

My future has always consisted of like a family with kids.

Like, what do I want more?

Do I want to be with Paige and be patient to eventually

have that family with her?

Or do I want the family so bad that I'm going to leave,

like, the love of my life?

- I mean, you want to have children with someone who's

not the love of your life?

- No, and I don't.

- Well, there you go. - And I'll never settle.

But it does feel like we're spinning

in circles a little bit.

- That's fair.

- Got one.

Oh.

[shouting]

- Yeah, there you go.

- There it is.

- I didn't land it, though.

- Did you not get it? - He had it.

And he lost it. It went up in the air.

- I yanked out of the water.

And it flew behind me on the line.

- That was depressing.

- All right, Shep, hey, buddy, let's call it a day, man.

I think it's time to throw in the towel.

- All right, let's go.

- I'm so upset that I didn't catch a ----ing fish.

- There's a 50% chance that JT caught something in his pants.

- Coming up...

- I'm telling you this right now, we did not hook up.

[soft music]

* *

Hi, aww. - Hi.

- It's so good to see you.

Hi.

- So happy you're here.

- Are you mad at me?

- Libby's here.

Are you excited to see her?

Yeah?

- My mom said you've been texting with her.

- This is my hope and prayer is that while you're

here, that she would just remember

how much God loves you.

That he is with the brokenhearted.

And he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.

Never forget that.

OK? - Yes, ma'am.

I appreciate you.

Thank you.

- I'm so, so glad you're here.

We love you so much.

OK, can I help you carry stuff in?

- Thank you.

- This is--

- Wow.

- God's creation.

You can't--you know, you can't top that, right?

Here we are.

- Hey! - Hey.

- Hello. - Hello.

- How are you? - Hi.

- You made it. - I know.

- Hello. - Hi.

- You look gorgeous.

- Thank you.

- This is a cute fit. - Thank you for having me.

- Absolutely, welcome anytime.

- Thank you.

- As awkward as it can be between Taylor and I,

I really love her parents.

And it's just, you know, that's a weak spot for me.

Oh, my gosh, so sorry, look how much stuff it is.

I'm moving in.

Thank you so much.

Our moms, when they met, just hit it off.

They talked for like the rest of the evening.

They didn't even touch their dinner plates.

And we had Christmas dinner together one time,

like our families.

- I talked to Shep this morning.

They're going to go fishing and then go

and then go to Grandfather Mountain Winery.

- Yeah, when do you think that will be?

- Shep said, please come on up.

We'll let you guys when we get back

to the house like what time are y'all planning on coming up.

It really is--like, literally, they are nestled

in that mountain right there.

- That's where they are. - Oh, my God.

- See that little mountain range right there?

- Wait a minute, I see them. Do you see them?

- Yeah, there they are.

- That is funny.

- Wow, this is-- - Shep, put that beer down.

- Would y'all like to go take some stuff out on the dock?

- We can do that,

or show me the lay of the land, as Shep would say.

- Hop around there, bunny girl.

- Oh, my God, she leaps like a bunny.

This is so beautiful, wow.

- It's peaceful down here.

- Very peaceful.

- This was for your mom and you, like a birthday

gift for you guys, for Connor.

- Oh, my gosh, thank you.

- So there is a little like quote that's kind

of like what they represent.

- Thank you. That's so sweet.

- Yeah.

- Putting it on now.

I got a collection going.

- There you go.

- These are beautiful.

- You want me to just put it on?

This isn't about me.

It's about Olivia.

My actions were a mistake.

And I have to make it right.

I know we haven't really had the chance to like talk,

because obviously, with everything going on,

I'm just like giving you your time and space.

But I feel like a very sh---y friend

for lying, and doubling down, and betraying your trust.

- I know.

- And I want to make sure that I

can earn your trust back because that's

what's important to me.

- I can say the most hurtful part that like makes me--

that like eats me up over these last few days

like thinking about it is just not having the trust.

I prioritize our friendship over everything in this.

But like because I haven't gotten the full truth

over and over, at the end of this,

I want to be OK with you.

I just need you to be honest.

- Olivia, you have to know that if--

it would be so much easier to sit here and be like, yeah,

we hooked up, yeah, we want a date.

Yeah, this and that. It would be so much easier.

We had like a moment after New York.

Like, Shep and I were not on speaking terms.

You and Austen were not on speaking terms.

- But like in New York, I was confiding in you.

Like, you were my person through all of this.

And like there were times you were talking on my behalf

to Austen.

During this time, she's saying that they had a conversation.

She's telling me Austen wants to be with me.

He loves me.

We're not in a relationship.

- Austen, you seem sad.

- Like, there's a lot of love here.

I think that he should have gone right over to Olivia

and swept her off her feet.

- So it's like, were you just running back to him

and contemplating your feelings for him?

The things I thought I was telling you,

I thought were between us.

And now, I'm like questioning all of it.

- But like you had gone out to LA.

- LA was two--

a day after New York.

It wasn't like it had been months later.

That was literally the next day.

I left from New York to go to LA just

to clear my head because I just saw him completely

check out of our relationship.

- But OK, it was very shortly after New York.

It wasn't the day after.

I don't--like I'm not sitting here trying to fight--

- If I was in LA, it was like--it was days

because I went to LA--

- But you were in LA for a while.

- For a week. - A week.

- Tay, I was in LA for a week.

I genuinely--I genuinely believe y'all had sex.

[tense music]

* *

- I'm telling you this right now, we did not hook up.

- You can tell me till you're blue

in the face that y'all didn't.

Austen can too.

But the words you say, I no longer believe.

We're just broken.

I don't know how much of our friendship

is there to salvage.

I like love and adore your family

for like having me up here.

I just don't feel comfortable here.

- I really want you to stay. I really do.

- I'll maybe just--

just get a change of scenery for a second.

- Yeah.

Well, thank you for obviously coming here.

Yeah, well, let's go.

We don't need you falling in the water.

I'm actually like really disappointed.

I didn't think that this is how the conversation

would have gone.

All right, start the truck back up.

I wasn't able to pull her out of whatever

she's thinking because Olivia is who Olivia is.

And once the gears get going, it's really hard to retract.

- I'm going to go ahead and just get a head start.

- Thank you.

Thank you, yeah, me too.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.

Thank you. - I've loved every minute.

- Thank you.

- I love you.

* *

- Coming up...

- You and Shep, you're just not normal people.

You guys are just built different.

- Yeah, that's because we're dirtbags.

[upbeat music]

* *

- I'm sorry about your pants.

- Why do you still have the bib?

- I don't have any clothes.

- Are you naked under there? - I am.

- Are you really? - Yeah.

- So what happened?

You slipped and fell?

And it came into your pants?

- Yeah, it went down my--

the rapids were flowing down my backside.

I said, can I borrow this so I can go to the vineyard?

- At least your butt's clean.

- Is this it?

- Oh, dude, hey man, that looks pretty.

- It is pretty, yeah.

- My stomach is like soaking wet.

- Hey, guys. - How's it going?

- Hi.

- Shep, have you been here?

- The first time. How are y'all doing?

- Doing great. - Good.

- I might just go shirtless.

- You guys can do a flight or get a glass.

- I think we'll do some flights.

OK, well, I'll try your favorite Riesling.

How about a Riesling, rosé, and a two of your favorite reds?

- Perfect. - Let's do that.

- Blueberry and cherry.

- Blueberry and cherry, OK, I'm going to mark this out.

- All right, let's go outside.

We'll see--

- Can I get this too?

Thank you.

- All right, it's beautiful.

- Just glad we got decent weather for this.

- Did everybody get a bunch of food?

I might just have some cheese.

Oh, Olivia called me.

Let me call her back.

Hi.

- What's the--wait, tell me what's going on.

- Oh, sh--.

- Do you want to come spend the night at the house?

I'll send you the address.

- No, no, it's all good.

Do you want to come meet us at the winery?

We are kind of on the way from Taylor's, just FYI.

Come by, have a glass of wine.

I'll drop a pin, all right?

- Bye.

- Austen, right here.

- That's good, right?

- This is so much better than being in a creek falling down.

- Which one is that? - Blueberry.

- Oh, man, that's like juice.

- I just want more cheese.

- I just texted Olivia the address.

The turbulence of my ----ing--

my actions.

- Yeah, make sure you finish that sentence.

- Ho-ho.

- I just feel really sad for Olivia.

She's mixed up, man.

- Yes, she is.

- Well, and she doesn't have that crazy of a point.

Unfortunately, the only two other people going through it

are you two.

And you're just not normal people.

You guys are just built different.

- Yeah, that's because we're dirtbags.

[laughter]

- Let me use the restroom.

- I have to pee too.

- See you guys. - Bye-bye.

- Here, try the blueberry.

- The blueberry? - Yeah.

- This one's really good, yeah. - I like the blend.

- Hey, babe. - Hi.

Wow, oh, my God, this little set up.

- Like your driving outfit.

- You smell good.

How are you?

Wow, how is the duck hunting?

Did you catch dinner? - No, I fell in a creek.

And rapids went up my butthole.

- Oh, lucky.

- You want to try something cool?

- Yeah. - Try that.

- Will go well with my spearmint gum.

- Do you like a red blend or cab?

- Red blend sounds--

- Perfect, there you go. - Delightful.

- Is there a red blend?

Red blend-- that's the red blend.

- This is definitely a red.

Yeah, this is good. I like this.

- Hello.

- Hi. - There they are.

- Good to see you. - Hello.

Thanks for letting me crash.

Yeah, absolutely.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

- I told you--

- Took your spot-- - It's OK.

- Knowingly.

This one's good, Shep.

- The '91? I'm all about that one.

It's really good.

- How did you leave it with Taylor?

- It wasn't easy to leave.

We both want the same thing at the end of the day.

It's just a matter of figuring out

how to get there because the trust is like shattered.

- Look, I cut off, like, the friend

that hooked up with my ex.

I'll never talk-- it's a multi-year break.

And I don't want that for anyone else.

And I'm glad that that's not happening.

But it also doesn't mean that like, it

can't take a little while.

- Yeah, look, I might have invited Taylor to dinner.

[tense music]

- Drama.

- Sounds good.

Well, I don't want to drag you away.

But I have a caterer tomorrow night who's cooking

some really good stuff.

So we have extra room.

It'd be awesome if you and Olivia came up.

- She sent me a message.

And Taylor's going to come up later.

- Great.

- Sorry.

- Well, sh--.

I left her house just to come and have dinner with her.

I really just want to leave.

I don't have that option right now because we're

out in the middle of nowhere.

Like what else am I supposed to do?

- So should we go back, guys?

I think my chef has prepared some delectable treats.

- Are we headed out?

- We're going to have an awesome dinner.

All right, we're outskies.

- All right, let's go.

- Grab that blueberry wine, please.

- Here will you take my peanuts?

- Here, hold Craig's nuts. [laughter]

- You getting back on? - Yeah, you coming on the bus?

What are you doing?

- I think I'm going to drive up.

- Craig, I'm going to ride with Olivia,

so she's not by herself. I'll see you a minute.

- See you at the house. - What is Rod doing?

- He's riding with Olivia.

- Look at him, though. - Ride with you?

- Yeah, of course. - Yeah, cool.

- If I'm being honest I've seen more ----ing chemistry

in my tenth grade ----ing chemistry class than

I see between Rod and Olivia.

- Hi.

- Oh, did Rod go with Olivia?

- Yeah, of course.

- He follows her around like a lost puppy dog.

- Have you been to this house?

- No, I have not. - It is nice.

- Nice.

- What do you think you'll be like with Taylor tonight?

You probably just like be talking to other people

mostly, or just kind of more superficial,

or play it by ear?

- I don't even know what to do.

- I got your peanuts, Craig.

- Time for dinner.

- Craig. - Little Craig.

- Craig, how was your day, buddy?

Craigory.

- Hi, bub.

You are a sight for sore eyes, you little mongrel.

- Hey, look at this cute little spot.

- Welcome.

- New houseguest.

- Where do we want to put Olivia?

- Do Craig's.

He's got two single beds up there.

- Here, help her with her bags.

- Oh, yeah, let me get that. - Thank you.

- Of course. - Wow.

This is awesome. - Up this way.

- OK, I'll let you lead the way.

- Gotcha.

- Good to see you. - Good to see you.

- So show me what you got.

Are you guys still waiting?

- You got it all together.

OK, let me know if you need anything.

- All right, thank you.

- Yeah, that's perfect. - OK, and bathroom.

You want me to leave you for a little bit

and let you do your thing?

- See you down there. - Sounds good.

- Appreciate it. - You got it.

I'll see you in a minute.

- Hey.

- Hi. - What's up?

- Nothing. Just about to change.

- You good?

Like are you and Tay actually--

- If we were back home and after having

that conversation, I would just gone back to my house.

It was just like awkward because it's here, and--

- And you're like, I got to go somewhere.

I just need to go somewhere just like process

and decompress all this, and--

- Well, I'm glad you did.

Glad you could have a space to come to

in lieu of whatever the hell is going on with you two.

But welcome.

- Whatever the hell is going on?

- OK, sorry, whatever the conversation was.

- I'm sure you have a little idea of what it consists of.

It's not something like whatever's going on.

- No, no, OK, sorry, sorry, that was wrong.

I was trying to like--

- OK, I'm just changing for dinner.

- What a fun night ahead.

- All right, fire boy.

- There we go.

- I have a question for the chefs.

I saw the brownies and the cookies.

Why the dessert first?

- How do you know it's first?

- Well, I saw it first.

And I smell brownies.

But I thought we were having steak.

- You're about as perceptive as a gnat.

- Do y'all need help with the fire?

- Just kidding, as it's already up and going.

- Well, there's a cheat because there's a bunch of gas coming

out and lighting the logs.

- Yeah.

If you could have a mountain house like this

or like a beach house like the Hilton Head one,

which one would you choose? - Beach house.

- 'Sup guys?

- She asked if I had a beach house or a mountain house,

what would I pick, and I said a beach house.

- I think beach house.

- Hey, I know you asked.

So I'm just going to give you a bite.

- No, I have diabetes.

Please don't kill me.

- Hello?

- Hey--

- Saved by the angel herself.

Shep was trying to kill me.

- Hi.

Penny's not here.

I'm sorry.

- Wow.

- Hi!

- Hi.

- Hi, I'm going to make myself at home.

- [sighs] - JT, are you good?

- Yeah, I'm just trying to have quality time with my new best

friend, little Craig.

- Craig. - Little Craig, come on.

- Thank you so much for coming.

- You're welcome. I'm happy to be here.

But yeah, so hi.

- Hi.

- And I'm really glad you had the courage to come up.

And if there's anything that I or we can do to help,

even if it's just listening, we love you.

- Thank you.

[tense music]

- Coming up...

- I think to be as direct as possible, I think we

should not see other people.

[tense music]

- Craig.

- About the fly fishing--

[laughter] - Tough.

Tough break. Well, there's Taylor.

- Hey.

Hi, how was it today?

Hey.

How was fly fishing for the first time?

- Humbling and fun.

- Guys, dinner is served.

- All right, let's go.

- Shall we?

- Good to be back in Lynnville.

- It is?

Of course it is.

- I saw one without croutons.

I was like, this one's mine.

- All right, please sit down.

- I don't want to waste the salad.

I don't eat salad.

- He said he's never had a salad in his whole life.

- This is so weird that you don't eat salad.

- I know, and it's embarrassing.

- Can you please just take a bite of a salad?

- You know, it's not for me.

- Thank you so much.

Oh, my gosh, that looks incredible.

Thank you. - This looks great.

- So you have roast beef tenderloin

and roast pork loin, roasted Brussels sprouts, potatoes

au grautin.

And there's some squash puree on the bottom.

- There you go. Thank you, sir.

- Thanks.

- Sure.

- Compliments to the chef.

- Thank you guys. This is very good.

- Oh, I got something for you today.

- You got something for me?

- Well, it was Austen's idea.

- What did I do?

- Oh--

- I'll go get it.

- Yeah, take note of it.

So we can talk about it.

- We bought sunglasses today to go fishing with.

And this was right near the sunglasses case.

- Oh, bee.

- It's a temporary tattoo, Tay.

- Oh, it's a tattoo. - Yes.

- Put it on your forehead.

- No, no, it's a sticker.

- Oh, (BLEEP).

- What better way to mend up a friendship than to go hang out

in the woods, talk to a questionable

best friend and a questionable ex-boyfriend.

It's like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[chainsaw revs]

* *

- Isn't this fun, everyone?

- Life is good.

- I truly believe that Shep is a good-hearted nihilist.

- Thank you so much.

- That's my psychoanalysis on today.

- Olivia, you want some more white wine?

- Um...

- That's a yes.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, thank you.

- Thank you so much. Oh, my gosh.

No, they're gluten free.

Thank you for that.

- Wanted to make sure I left a little bit.

So you didn't think I finished the bottle.

- Are we going to make our aluminum helmets

and talk to aliens tonight?

- Yeah, we will.

Do you know what we're doing, Olivia and Taylor?

We are making tinfoil hats.

And Craig is going to tell us all his conspiracy theories.

- Craig, I know that you believe in aliens.

- Don't get him started, Taylor.

- The government can hear us.

If we don't have our hats on, they can hear.

- God, you just poked the bear.

- I can't believe he thinks that pandas are humans.

- Do you think panda bears are real?

I really wanted them to be real.

- Pandas are ----ing real, dude.

- If we have tinfoil hats on, they can't hear us.

And they have no idea--

- They can't penetrate our brains.

- Can't be targeted.

- Tinfoil hats?

If you have to ask what a tinfoil hat is for,

you're not ready to know what it's for.

Aliens don't really respect "bareheads," they call them,

bareheads are what you call people without a tinfoil hat.

If they see your hat, they're like these people

are ready for the reckoning.

I'm just here to guide y'all.

- This is the dumbest thing we might have ever done.

- Bop boop bop beep.

- Wow, you really did a good job with the crown.

- That's amazing. He's like king moron.

- Come on, Craig, we're going in the yard.

We're going to be safe there now.

- You're making a mockery of it.

- Come outside.

It's time.

- A lot of people say that conspiracies are dangerous.

Well, knowing the truth is never dangerous.

Let's talk about the pyramids, even in modern technology

today, we couldn't build the pyramids.

They are laser cut.

Those stones are so accurate and then

they pinpoint these magnetic ----ing areas

in the sky that serve as beacons for the space people.

- Space people?

- Yeah, space people. Aliens is a little derogatory.

- And there--

- Hold on.

- Was the moon landing real?

- We haven't been back since the '60s.

Why not?

I think that the moon landing was real.

But we are prepared to fake it.

The videos you saw were staged because we forgot to take

the videos on the moon.

Just watch "Transformers." It kind of explains all this.

You know that there's like weather weapons.

- Yeah, let's exit on that conversation.

Do you want some water? I'll grab some.

- Yes, I will.

- Just so you know, I'm like kind of tipsy.

And my face gets a little red.

- I think we've had enough.

Should we play ping pong?

- 100%. - Let's go.

- I'm glad you came tonight.

- Where else was I going to go?

We're in ----ing nowhere.

- And like my hair is, I'm sure, all tinfoil messed up.

But you're still looks immaculate.

I didn't want to ruin the meal or throw things off.

But I wanted to bring some things to your attention.

I know that you're like obviously

going through things.

You are comfortable with Austen.

But found out that one of my friends,

after you left Austen's, she went to Austen's.

- Wait, was there a pink bra in the corner

of the room, and she saw that, and now

you're telling me about it?

- Yeah.

I literally--while we were watching the movie,

took my bra off and tossed it.

And when I left, hugged him bye,

and he was like, oh, your bra--

I was like, oh, just throw it away.

Even like saying it back, sounds awful.

But like nothing happened.

- I went to bed thinking about this.

And I woke up thinking about it.

And then I had this interesting day of distraction,

of fly fishing, and then it was back in my mind

the rest of the day.

- I can completely understand that.

And I genuinely apologize.

I don't mean to give off like the bullsh-- vibe.

- I think to be as direct as possible,

like I'm very interested.

I am.

But like, I think we should not see other people.

And I want to exclusively date you.

[upbeat music]

- Yes, yes!

- 20-17.

- This is like Federer and Nadal.

- Will return.

Yes!

On the away team, on the away game.

- I think to be as direct as possible,

like, I'm very interested, I am.

I think we should not see other people.

And I want to exclusively date you.

- Like I can--

you are literally the perfect guy.

I respect you too much to just drag you along in like a--

I mean, I am seeing other people.

And I do want to keep that open with you.

Like my stuff with Austen threw me off.

After that, I don't--

I have this hesitation of getting in a relationship.

And I've just been like kind of living

in that space of like, oh, I'm dating.

I'm dating. But that's me.

All of this to say, it's me.

It's stuff I need to figure out.

There's just like a hesitation in my own like mental space

right now.

- I mean, I appreciate that.

You know, I don't know.

It's tough.

I'm like-- that's not what I want.

- Oh, here he is, Shepard.

- He beat me. - He beat you?

- Yeah, he beat me.

He's a pusher.

He just gets it back. He just gets it back.

He just gets it back.

- He's like Little Craig.

- So I'm like trying to hit winners.

I'm like--

- Shep, listen to me, on a scale of 1 to 10,

how drunk are you?

- Five.

- Barely. - 'Sup?

- It's hot.

It's hot.

- He hates losing.

Oh, we are the champions.

- You?

- How do you have any ownership on this?

- I was saying congratulations for winning.

- Don't (BLEEP) with me, Taylor.

- I'm not, Shep.

- Don't do it.

- The way that you're acting towards me right now

is very like jealous and controlling.

- What?

You enjoyed the fact that I lost.

And then you rubbed it in my face.

- I was congratulating somebody for winning--

- He wasn't out here yet.

- He was standing right there. - Shep, it's ping pong, dude.

It's ping pong. - It doesn't matter.

- Shep, you don't like losing.

- Yeah, you're goddamn right, Taylor.

And you (BLEEP) with me.

Do you enjoy it?

Do you like poking the bear?

- Do you like cheating on me?

- I mean, sometimes it was fun.

- Did you just say sometimes it was fun?

- No.

- Yeah, you ----ing did, you piece of sh--.

I want out of this ----ing house.

Like, ----ing pull this sh-- off of my ----ing

back right the (BLEEP) now.

- Hold on, hold on.

- Does anybody have a good launderer?

- Oh, Shep just said that he ----ing

enjoyed cheating on me.

- Yeah, he said--

I said I hope you had fun cheating.

- That's just Shep.

- Get me the (BLEEP) out of here.

- She knew that I was upset about the loss in ping pong.

And she played with it.

- No, dude, it wasn't like that.

- No, that is not just Shep.

He cheated on me multiple ----ing times.

Multiple times.

And he just said he enjoyed cheating on me.

- Taylor.

- Shep, I want you to listen to yourself, man.

Of course, Austen is against me because Austen's

been against me since the ----ing day one.

- Why are you so angry?

- Because I'm the exact person that

you ----ing wish you were.

- I mean, who knew that ping pong

would be the spark that lit this giant heap of baggage

that Shep's been collecting?

- You can direct your anger at me.

- Yeah, I will.

I ----ing will, dude. Because you're so smug.

- I'm not.

This is what happens when you repress so many feelings.

And like, here's the explosion I knew would happen.

- You (BLEEP) up all the time.

But you do it privately because you never tell your friends--

- That's not true.

- You never tell your friends when you (BLEEP) up.

God forbid you were honest, and real, and ----ing soul baring.

You never do that. - Shep--

- And so when you see someone else yelling at me,

you enjoy it, you enjoy it.

- Oh, dude.

- Because you can't be honest.

- Incoming.

- I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it.

You made me mad, Taylor.

- You poked me.

It's how I think. And you know that.

They call me old egg toss.

I'm going to ----ing win.

[laughter]

- Wait, y'all's-- it fell.

- It did not break. - So?

- You ----ing idiot. - Don't say idiot.

What do you mean? Don't do that again.

- I said ----ing idiot.

I should have said something worse.

I was mad.

I couldn't believe that you had taken someone

else's side after a loss.

- Yeah, but it obviously wasn't about the ping pong game.

There's more that was underlying.

- Obviously, I'm upset about the Austen thing.

But I've been bottling it up.

And I haven't said anything.

I've always loved Austen.

I've always loved him.

We've had a great friendship.

- I know. - As you know.

You've been very supportive of.

- Because I trusted everybody.

- Oh, God.

- This is a good time to walk in.

Not to interrupt.

- She's all yours. - No, no, no.

- See, stop doing that.

- We still--

- Oh, sh--, Craig.

- Hey, I'm just going to go to bed.

- Good night, JT. - Good night, Taylor.

- You good? - Yeah, I'm good.

- Hanging out with exes isn't easy.

- Because they know you the best.

- Well, yeah, and there's--

I just compared it to my finger cut.

- Hey, are we quarreling?

I mean, I knew that you were going to lose

it on me at some point.

But I didn't think that it was going to be over that.

That's all I'm saying.

- It's funny how things manifest themselves, OK?

- This was suppressed sh-- or no?

- Yes, it was, OK?

Probably.

And like when you take her side out there,

that's exactly what that's about.

- I didn't--

OK, I did say that.

- You bottle things up.

But you got to scream sometimes because it's

dangerous to pressurize your anger and disappointment.

Some people have therapists.

Some people have a bottle of bourbon.

- All right, well, I love you guys.

I think I'm going to head to bed.

[upbeat music]

* *

- Gorgeous.

- Oh, my toothbrush and everything

is in the other bathroom.

- Good morning, good morning.

- All right, should I make eggs?

- That's such a good sound.

- JT, you're always so chipper in the morning.

I can't deal with it.

- I almost need a beer just to get over this pain.

* *

[dog whining]

[phone line trilling]

- What's up?

- Just laying in bed with Austen.

- Hey, Paige.

- Morning. Can y'all get up?

Taylor's in Shep's room.

- [laughs]

- Shep and Taylor banged.

- Yeah, Shep and Taylor banged.

- Did you sleep well?

- You did?

- What do you mean?

- You disrupted my sleep.

- I disrupted your sleep with my cough?

- Yeah, Craig's snore doesn't bother me.

- So you came in here just for Craig?

- Yeah, I did.

- Well, did you get what you needed?

This kissing bandit last night?

- All right, well.

- Rod.

- Oh, my God, you mother----er.

- We slept in the same bed with our--

with the dog that we love.

- Did you get that wine out of your eyes?

- Sorry, sorry.

- All right, well, I love you, baby.

And I'll call you on my drive home.

- OK, wake up.

Let's gossip because I don't know what else to do.

- Yeah, who hooks up with their exes?

- I know.

She's been doing really well, like, dating other people

and moving forward.

And now, I just think she's just

going to like, go backwards.

It's like, I just don't know where her head is.

I don't know this Taylor.

I'm going to go figure out coffee.

- So I guess I'm the only one eating.

Looks like it, buddy.

- Morning. - Good morning.

- Good morning, little angel.

- Did you know Taylor is in Shep's room?

- That's a sad, sad thing.

I've never seen a situation where

a girl throws a glass of wine on a guy

and then shares a bed in peace.

There's no coming back from that.

* *

- OK, OK.

- Well, well, well.

Oh, it looks like someone took her bra off.

Olivia, is this yours?

- Yeah.

And I took it off, just to make that clear to everyone.

I took this off myself.

- All right.

- Does it make you sad sleeping in the same bed

and not really getting to sleep--

like actually sleeping in the same bed?

- Does it make me sad?

- Yeah.

- No, it doesn't make me sad.

You're the one who said time and time again,

we shouldn't do that.

No, no, no. - I know that.

[dramatic music]

* *

I think it's time to get up.

- Next time on "Southern Charm"...

- Prince Charles and Camilla sent me

a piece of their wedding cake.

And it's been in the freezer.

- Let's have it.

- I want a wife and children, a family.

- Eugh.

Are you trying to marry me?

- I'm noticing a trend with you.

You got burned. - I got burned.

- So now you have your flamethrower.

And you're just cooking everybody.

- I just wish that we could have

had a man-to-man conversation.

Instead you were a ----ing psychopath.

- I meant every ----ing word I said.

[dramatic music]