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1
00:00:04,692 --> 00:00:06,091
[Theme music]
2
00:00:34,522 --> 00:00:37,423
Come on, Ladybird, fetch.
3
00:00:39,193 --> 00:00:41,559
That's right, You can get it,
4
00:00:42,363 --> 00:00:43,921
Come on, girl.
5
00:00:46,434 --> 00:00:48,163
[Bobby grunting]
6
00:00:48,402 --> 00:00:49,369
[Scoffs]
7
00:00:49,537 --> 00:00:52,563
Fine, it can stay there for all l care.
8
00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:55,832
Get it. Come on.
9
00:00:55,943 --> 00:00:56,932
[Hank sighs]
10
00:00:57,044 --> 00:00:59,103
Get him the ball, already.
11
00:01:06,087 --> 00:01:09,250
Here you go, boy.
Take it easy on Ladybird, Bobby.
12
00:01:09,357 --> 00:01:12,019
She's 91 years old in dog years.
13
00:01:12,126 --> 00:01:15,357
Each time she fetches, it's like
seven fetches for you or me.
14
00:01:15,630 --> 00:01:19,794
Well, tell Ladybird l'm done playing
'cause she only listens to you.
15
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:21,034
[Bobby grunts in anger]
16
00:01:21,335 --> 00:01:22,461
[Ladybird whimpers]
17
00:01:22,603 --> 00:01:23,797
Attagirl!
18
00:01:29,110 --> 00:01:30,543
[Raccoon churring]
19
00:01:31,479 --> 00:01:34,243
Hold on, little fellow.
This happened to me once.
20
00:01:37,084 --> 00:01:38,483
You hungry?
21
00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:42,386
Let's see what Santa's got
in his goodie bag.
22
00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:43,718
[Raccoon churring]
23
00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:46,556
What a crime.
24
00:01:46,661 --> 00:01:49,095
lf you are not a hungry man, Luanne...
25
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,960
you shouldn't be taking on
the Hungry-Man dinner.
26
00:01:59,073 --> 00:02:00,802
Bobby. At the table.
27
00:02:00,908 --> 00:02:03,775
PEGGY: l am tired of finding crumbs
in the bathtub.
28
00:02:07,314 --> 00:02:10,909
ls it me, or are they making
these things bigger?
29
00:02:17,558 --> 00:02:20,721
You don't want that.
Tonight's garbage is....
30
00:02:21,696 --> 00:02:23,926
l brought you something special.
31
00:02:24,298 --> 00:02:28,530
You know, the black around your eyes
looks just like a mask,
32
00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:31,734
l'm gonna call you Masky.
33
00:02:32,139 --> 00:02:36,303
No, wait. l can beat that. Bandit.
34
00:02:37,344 --> 00:02:39,141
Mind if l join you?
35
00:02:39,413 --> 00:02:41,313
[Soft instrumental music]
36
00:02:42,349 --> 00:02:43,509
[Bandit churring]
37
00:02:44,351 --> 00:02:46,819
And how about a marshmallow chaser?
38
00:02:46,987 --> 00:02:49,114
[Bandit churring]
39
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,848
[Churring]
40
00:02:53,694 --> 00:02:56,629
Fish. Snakes.
41
00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:00,358
Yup. The dog's the only animal
that makes sense.
42
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:03,030
And l suppose a cat might work.
43
00:03:03,537 --> 00:03:07,166
lf you're a little girl or an old lady,
you know, who's sick.
44
00:03:16,917 --> 00:03:17,884
[Dog barks]
45
00:03:17,985 --> 00:03:18,952
[Bandit churrs]
46
00:03:22,723 --> 00:03:23,690
[Bandit churring]
47
00:03:25,793 --> 00:03:27,317
Can l buy this, Dad?
48
00:03:27,428 --> 00:03:30,090
Bobby, this is a pet store, not a toy store.
49
00:03:30,197 --> 00:03:32,563
You know how much they mark
that junk up.
50
00:03:33,634 --> 00:03:37,502
Excuse me. How much is it to get
your dog's picture put on this mug?
51
00:03:38,539 --> 00:03:42,168
So we're eating dinner,
and Ladybird starts to beg.
52
00:03:43,644 --> 00:03:45,839
That says it all right there.
53
00:03:46,747 --> 00:03:49,011
BOBBY: Mrs. Gribble said
it wasn't gonna rain.
54
00:03:49,116 --> 00:03:51,311
BOBBY: Accuweather, my foot!
55
00:03:51,652 --> 00:03:54,212
Here. l'm gonna leave this open.
56
00:03:54,388 --> 00:03:57,846
And you can use the streetlight
as a nightlight.
57
00:04:02,029 --> 00:04:02,996
[Hank grunts quizzically]
58
00:04:04,031 --> 00:04:05,760
HANK: What in the....
59
00:04:05,866 --> 00:04:07,163
[Hank exclaims in surprise]
60
00:04:07,468 --> 00:04:10,096
You're gonna wish you messed up
somebody else's garage...
61
00:04:10,204 --> 00:04:11,671
you furry bastard.
62
00:04:11,772 --> 00:04:12,761
[Ominous instrumental music]
63
00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:13,840
[Gasps]
64
00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:17,107
[Bandit churring]
65
00:04:20,714 --> 00:04:21,681
HANK: Bastard!
66
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,685
l'm gonna take out the garbage.
67
00:04:25,786 --> 00:04:28,550
No, Bobby, there is a raccoon out there
and it almost...
68
00:04:28,656 --> 00:04:30,317
literally attacked your father.
69
00:04:30,424 --> 00:04:31,391
Raccoon?
70
00:04:31,492 --> 00:04:33,323
Don't worry. l'm gonna get rid of it.
71
00:04:33,427 --> 00:04:35,292
Bandit was just hungry, Dad.
72
00:04:35,429 --> 00:04:38,762
Bandit? You name a pet.
You name a guitar.
73
00:04:38,866 --> 00:04:41,061
You do not name a filthy animal.
74
00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:43,568
And you do not feed it our garbage.
75
00:04:43,671 --> 00:04:45,866
No wonder it was rooting around
in the garage.
76
00:04:45,973 --> 00:04:47,964
lt was looking for more of your handouts.
77
00:04:48,075 --> 00:04:50,737
lt's not a handout when you feed
Ladybird, is it?
78
00:04:50,845 --> 00:04:54,713
Ladybird is a member of this family.
You've seen our Christmas cards.
79
00:04:54,815 --> 00:04:58,683
Yeah, l've also seen her drink out of
the toilet, wipe herself on the carpet...
80
00:04:58,786 --> 00:05:00,447
-sniff another dog's--
-Enough!
81
00:05:00,554 --> 00:05:04,854
Bandit is a wild, disease-ridden animal
that will bite your face.
82
00:05:04,992 --> 00:05:07,517
Now, does that sound like something
Ladybird would do?
83
00:05:07,628 --> 00:05:10,859
Ladybird doesn't do anything anymore.
She's too old.
84
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:13,195
Bobby, Ladybird is in the room.
85
00:05:14,201 --> 00:05:17,602
The whole garage looked like
one of those horror movies,
86
00:05:18,005 --> 00:05:20,064
You know, tools all over the place.
87
00:05:20,174 --> 00:05:22,699
Yup. Sounds like a raccoon...
88
00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:26,268
or a possum imitating
the behavior of a raccoon.
89
00:05:27,014 --> 00:05:28,276
Or a squirrel.
90
00:05:28,382 --> 00:05:31,112
What l'm getting at is, l'll handle it.
91
00:05:31,285 --> 00:05:33,515
No, thanks, Dale.
l've already taken care of it.
92
00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:36,488
l've put out a spring-loaded live trap
this morning.
93
00:05:37,191 --> 00:05:41,150
A trap? The only one that's going
to get trapped is you, Hank.
94
00:05:41,262 --> 00:05:44,390
Trapped into thinking
a trap actually works.
95
00:05:44,665 --> 00:05:46,257
Who wants to....
96
00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:47,891
[Bill screaming]
97
00:05:48,002 --> 00:05:49,333
[Boomhauer mumbling]
98
00:05:49,703 --> 00:05:51,102
[Bandit churring]
99
00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:55,601
HANK: Get out of here, you furry bastard.
100
00:05:58,512 --> 00:05:59,501
My card.
101
00:06:01,548 --> 00:06:03,277
DALE: No worries, Hank.
102
00:06:03,384 --> 00:06:07,320
l've played out this scenario
1,000 times in my mind.
103
00:06:07,488 --> 00:06:09,547
Most of them l have won.
104
00:06:15,029 --> 00:06:18,123
Are you gonna need
the raccoon's pelt intact for a hat?
105
00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:21,668
l thought you were gonna trap Bandit
and free him in the woods.
106
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:25,661
Why is everything you're wearing
so sharp?
107
00:06:25,873 --> 00:06:28,068
You're not gonna hurt my raccoon,
are you?
108
00:06:28,175 --> 00:06:30,302
That's entirely up to him, Bobby.
109
00:06:30,544 --> 00:06:33,012
[Ominous instrumental music]
110
00:06:34,214 --> 00:06:38,810
Hank, once l crawl in there, l want you to
quickly cover the hole with the screen.
111
00:06:38,919 --> 00:06:42,719
That's the only way in
and the only way out for the raccoon.
112
00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:47,317
Do not remove the screen,
no matter how much l plead...
113
00:06:47,428 --> 00:06:51,296
or beg you, do not remove the screen.
114
00:06:58,405 --> 00:06:59,429
[Bandit churring]
115
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,529
DALE: Hank!
116
00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:04,202
Open the screen.
For God's sake, Hank, l'm begging you...
117
00:07:04,311 --> 00:07:06,336
open the screen!
118
00:07:06,447 --> 00:07:07,539
[Dale screaming]
119
00:07:08,248 --> 00:07:10,716
HANK: That's it. l'm taking it off.
DALE: Get him off!
120
00:07:10,818 --> 00:07:13,082
You promised Dale you wouldn't.
121
00:07:13,187 --> 00:07:14,484
DALE: He's big!
122
00:07:14,588 --> 00:07:16,021
That's enough.
123
00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:17,850
[Dale screaming]
124
00:07:19,193 --> 00:07:20,160
[Bandit snarling]
125
00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:21,227
[Hank gasps]
126
00:07:21,328 --> 00:07:22,955
[Ladybird barking and growling]
127
00:07:23,764 --> 00:07:24,753
[Bandit churring]
128
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,298
HANK: Get off her!
129
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,867
[Ladybird snarling]
130
00:07:28,502 --> 00:07:29,662
HANK: Ladybird!
131
00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:31,770
BOBBY: Bandit, come back!
132
00:07:32,272 --> 00:07:36,436
My God! Ladybird's hurt.
Someone call 91 1 .
133
00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:41,309
l give you one little thing to do
and you screw it up.
134
00:07:44,051 --> 00:07:45,609
[Gloomy instrumental music]
135
00:07:47,254 --> 00:07:48,243
[Hank sighs]
136
00:07:48,355 --> 00:07:50,380
l can't find Ladybird anywhere.
137
00:07:50,524 --> 00:07:52,958
BOBBY: [Panting] Dad.
HANK: Any luck, Son?
138
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,994
l looked all over the neighborhood.
139
00:07:55,095 --> 00:07:58,189
No sign of Bandit. Not even a dropping.
140
00:07:58,499 --> 00:08:01,491
What? You've been looking
for that dang raccoon?
141
00:08:01,802 --> 00:08:04,362
lt would have attacked me
if it weren't for Ladybird.
142
00:08:04,471 --> 00:08:07,804
And now my dog's out there,
possibly hurt, exposed to the elements...
143
00:08:07,908 --> 00:08:11,207
and even if she does find something
to eat, who's gonna mix in an egg?
144
00:08:11,311 --> 00:08:12,903
l'll find Ladybird.
145
00:08:13,714 --> 00:08:16,274
Lucky for you
l'm not only an exterminator...
146
00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:18,408
l'm also a bounty hunter.
147
00:08:18,786 --> 00:08:20,344
DALE: My other card.
148
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,215
Tell me l sent you. You'll get 100/0 off.
149
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:27,352
HANK: That picture was taken
at her birthday party last month.
150
00:08:27,461 --> 00:08:29,429
Sorry, l don't have a more recent photo.
151
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:30,997
l don't wanna get your hopes up.
152
00:08:31,098 --> 00:08:33,623
The odds of finding a dog
that has run away are not--
153
00:08:33,734 --> 00:08:35,634
Ladybird did not run away.
154
00:08:35,736 --> 00:08:38,830
She got in a fight with a raccoon
and took off after it.
155
00:08:39,306 --> 00:08:40,330
Raccoon?
156
00:08:40,441 --> 00:08:42,466
Hank, let me take over.
157
00:08:42,576 --> 00:08:45,636
As one animal-control professional
to another...
158
00:08:45,746 --> 00:08:49,341
it was what appeared to be a raccoon.
159
00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:53,747
But l only saw it briefly,
and it was dark, so l don't know.
160
00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:55,321
lt's too bad you didn't catch it.
161
00:08:55,422 --> 00:08:57,720
'Cause without being able to autopsy
the raccoon...
162
00:08:57,825 --> 00:08:59,759
we don't know if it gave your dog rabies.
163
00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:00,849
Rabies?
164
00:09:00,961 --> 00:09:05,022
Now, as l said,
l am an animal-control professional.
165
00:09:05,132 --> 00:09:08,966
Explain to Hank how you get rabies.
166
00:09:09,269 --> 00:09:12,568
TERRY: Raccoon bite is the most
common way, followed by rat bites...
167
00:09:12,673 --> 00:09:14,766
-and then raccoon scratches.
-What?
168
00:09:15,509 --> 00:09:18,501
Raccoon scratches moved up to third.
169
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,970
Good for them.
170
00:09:22,015 --> 00:09:23,539
[Ominous instrumental music]
171
00:09:26,086 --> 00:09:27,383
What does it say?
172
00:09:28,088 --> 00:09:31,580
NANCY: ''The earliest symptoms of
clinical rabies in humans are chills.''
173
00:09:32,292 --> 00:09:35,455
l'm cold, Nancy, so cold.
174
00:09:35,629 --> 00:09:38,257
-You're in your underwear, sug'.
-Read on.
175
00:09:38,432 --> 00:09:41,094
''Some sufferers may have a sore throat.''
176
00:09:41,902 --> 00:09:43,392
[Croaking] My throat's on fire.
177
00:09:43,504 --> 00:09:44,937
NANCY: ''Diarrhea.''
178
00:09:45,038 --> 00:09:46,027
Go on.
179
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:49,837
''They may also feel anxious or fearful
of things with no clear reason.''
180
00:09:49,943 --> 00:09:50,932
[Yells]
181
00:09:51,044 --> 00:09:53,535
Nancy, l think l have rabies!
182
00:09:53,647 --> 00:09:55,239
Dale, you're gonna be fine.
183
00:09:55,349 --> 00:09:59,046
All we have to do is get you to a doctor
so they can give you a shot.
184
00:09:59,486 --> 00:10:01,386
Sorry, seven shots.
185
00:10:02,122 --> 00:10:04,488
Let's say l don't get the shots.
186
00:10:04,858 --> 00:10:08,595
ls it possible to live a normal life
infected with rabies?
187
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:14,823
No.
188
00:10:15,369 --> 00:10:19,533
LUANNE: ...and please make sure Ladybird
is safe and without rabies.
189
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,105
And if rabies is part of your divine plan...
190
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:27,078
then please change your plan
and send us back Ladybird rabies-free.
191
00:10:27,181 --> 00:10:28,808
-And Bandit, too. Amen.
-No, sir.
192
00:10:28,916 --> 00:10:33,012
Bandit is not in this prayer.
lt's Bandit's fault we're in this mess...
193
00:10:33,187 --> 00:10:34,984
or your fault for feeding him.
194
00:10:35,088 --> 00:10:36,817
l'll let you decide, Lord.
195
00:10:36,957 --> 00:10:40,984
Now, Hank, l know Ladybird is just fine.
She saved your life.
196
00:10:41,094 --> 00:10:42,755
l'm sure she can save her own.
197
00:10:42,863 --> 00:10:46,060
l hope you're right. But if she's out there
suffering with rabies...
198
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:50,398
l'll have to shoot her, and with my aim,
l'll probably have to shoot her twice.
199
00:10:50,871 --> 00:10:52,099
Oh, God!
200
00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:56,142
Okay. Ladybird, good. Rabies, bad.
l just wanna find Bandit.
201
00:10:56,243 --> 00:10:58,302
We all wanna find Bandit, Bobby.
202
00:10:58,412 --> 00:11:01,745
lt's the only way they can figure out
if Ladybird's got rabies.
203
00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:03,281
How do they do that?
204
00:11:03,383 --> 00:11:06,216
Well, they take off its head.
205
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:08,948
[Knocking on door]
206
00:11:10,991 --> 00:11:13,084
l don't want to abuse the privilege...
207
00:11:13,193 --> 00:11:16,128
but l need you to get Dale
out of the basement again.
208
00:11:16,597 --> 00:11:18,531
All right. Everybody ready?
209
00:11:19,132 --> 00:11:20,531
And go.
210
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:21,890
[Nancy clears throat]
211
00:11:22,069 --> 00:11:24,970
Dale, honey, pizza's here.
212
00:11:25,072 --> 00:11:26,039
[Dale grunts in approval]
213
00:11:26,173 --> 00:11:27,265
DALE: Pizza.
214
00:11:27,507 --> 00:11:28,474
[Door unlocking]
215
00:11:29,243 --> 00:11:30,232
[Dale shrieks]
216
00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:33,802
No, Nancy! Look, Nancy, they're taking....
217
00:11:33,914 --> 00:11:35,279
[Dale screaming]
218
00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:38,681
All right, Dale.
We can do this the easy way...
219
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,776
or we can do it the hard way.
220
00:11:40,887 --> 00:11:41,854
[Dale grunting]
221
00:11:42,623 --> 00:11:44,454
Do it the hard way.
222
00:11:44,691 --> 00:11:46,283
[Dale yelling and grunting]
223
00:11:46,893 --> 00:11:47,860
[Boomhauer grunts]
224
00:11:47,961 --> 00:11:48,928
[Bill groans]
225
00:11:51,098 --> 00:11:52,690
HANK: Get in there.
BlLL: Come on!
226
00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:55,463
l'm worried about Bandit.
227
00:11:55,569 --> 00:11:59,198
l'm worried about my dad. And Bandit.
228
00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:04,733
See, l settled down.
Now, give me back my hat.
229
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,746
lt's easy for you to sit there
with a head full of thick, gorgeous hair...
230
00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:13,615
laughing at me. Please.
231
00:12:13,987 --> 00:12:17,616
l told you, Dale, l'll give you the hat back
after you get the shots.
232
00:12:21,628 --> 00:12:23,721
HANK: Dale! Where are you....
CROSSlNG GUARD: Hey!
233
00:12:24,031 --> 00:12:25,498
HANK: Dale, get back here!
234
00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:29,002
[Dale groans]
235
00:12:30,504 --> 00:12:31,493
Okay.
236
00:12:31,605 --> 00:12:34,597
A raccoon, Ladybird, and Dale
are on the loose...
237
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:36,505
and they all might be rabid.
238
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:39,238
Peggy, you should stay here
in case Ladybird comes home.
239
00:12:39,346 --> 00:12:41,837
Not ''if,'' Hank. ''Whether or not.''
240
00:12:41,948 --> 00:12:44,940
The rest of us are going to cover
every inch of Arlen.
241
00:12:45,052 --> 00:12:48,453
And l'm gonna need somebody to help
Nancy in case Dale comes home.
242
00:12:48,555 --> 00:12:50,352
HANK: Okay, any volunteers?
243
00:12:52,059 --> 00:12:53,856
l had my hand up first.
244
00:12:56,296 --> 00:12:57,786
[Solemn instrumental music]
245
00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:11,701
[Chomping]
246
00:13:12,746 --> 00:13:14,213
[Slow instrumental music]
247
00:13:18,218 --> 00:13:20,550
Survival Diary update.
248
00:13:20,654 --> 00:13:23,953
l have been drinking dewdrops
found on the forest leaves...
249
00:13:24,057 --> 00:13:27,026
and l have been eating mushrooms
and moths.
250
00:13:27,327 --> 00:13:29,022
Mostly mushrooms.
251
00:13:29,129 --> 00:13:32,223
My rabies has taken a turn for the worse.
252
00:13:32,332 --> 00:13:34,630
l am starting to hallucinate.
253
00:13:34,735 --> 00:13:38,728
When l close my eyes, l can see
strange characters running around...
254
00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:43,139
chasing colorful geometric shapes
in a dark and infinite limbo.
255
00:13:43,643 --> 00:13:45,804
l have stopped closing my eyes.
256
00:13:46,747 --> 00:13:50,444
l fear l am going mad!
257
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,117
Survival reminder:
Need hammer and nails.
258
00:13:59,493 --> 00:14:01,484
And batteries for tape recorder.
259
00:14:05,232 --> 00:14:07,166
Also need new tape recorder.
260
00:14:08,402 --> 00:14:09,960
[Solemn instrumental music]
261
00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:18,643
[Table saw whirring]
262
00:14:23,683 --> 00:14:24,650
[Hank sobbing]
263
00:14:29,256 --> 00:14:31,121
[Solemn instrumental music]
264
00:14:33,059 --> 00:14:34,048
[Clears throat]
265
00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:40,266
[Both gasp]
266
00:14:44,204 --> 00:14:45,171
Dale?
267
00:14:45,272 --> 00:14:46,239
[Hisses]
268
00:14:46,339 --> 00:14:47,306
[Gasps]
269
00:14:48,575 --> 00:14:49,564
[Yells]
270
00:14:49,676 --> 00:14:50,734
Hot!
271
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,269
[Hisses]
272
00:14:54,381 --> 00:14:56,406
You need a shot, sug'.
273
00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:57,608
[Yelling]
274
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:58,951
[Nancy gasps]
275
00:14:59,052 --> 00:15:00,610
[Dale yelling]
276
00:15:04,825 --> 00:15:06,452
[Telephone ringing]
277
00:15:08,061 --> 00:15:09,028
Hello?
278
00:15:09,129 --> 00:15:11,529
TERRY: Mr, Hill, this is Vic Terry
from animal control,
279
00:15:11,631 --> 00:15:14,896
We've had reports of a bloodhound
walking funny by the campgrounds,,,
280
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:18,164
at the Mariella Sherry Shivers State Park,
We're heading there now,
281
00:15:18,271 --> 00:15:21,104
l'm on my way.
Just in case you find her first...
282
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:25,076
when you call her name,
say the first half longer than the second.
283
00:15:25,245 --> 00:15:27,213
Ladybird. You got that?
284
00:15:27,314 --> 00:15:30,215
TERRY: Mr, Hill, lf we get there
and the dog is acting strange,,,
285
00:15:30,317 --> 00:15:31,716
we'll have to put Ladybird down,
286
00:15:31,818 --> 00:15:32,785
Oh, no.
287
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:36,420
TERRY: Mr, Hill? Are you there? l'm sorry,
288
00:15:36,857 --> 00:15:40,020
l meant we'll have to put Ladybird down,
289
00:15:41,928 --> 00:15:45,193
Now, Bill, if you see Ladybird first,
fire this flare...
290
00:15:45,298 --> 00:15:47,528
straight up in the air, not at her.
291
00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,993
All right, Bobby, let's....
292
00:15:51,238 --> 00:15:52,899
BlLL: False alarm !
293
00:15:54,407 --> 00:15:56,432
[Soft instrumental music]
294
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,740
What are you doing, Bobby?
295
00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:04,180
lf you're looking for that raccoon,
you're wasting your time.
296
00:16:04,284 --> 00:16:07,981
lt's probably two towns over by now,
eating some other kid's garbage.
297
00:16:08,088 --> 00:16:11,615
At least Bandit never ate my lunch
until after l'd thrown it out.
298
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,822
That's what l'd call common courtesy.
299
00:16:15,028 --> 00:16:16,052
Yeah.
300
00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:19,258
l remember the time Ladybird jumped up
and ate your...
301
00:16:19,366 --> 00:16:21,857
peanut-butter sandwich
right off your plate.
302
00:16:22,035 --> 00:16:25,994
l thought she'd never stop licking the roof
of her mouth, l tell you what.
303
00:16:26,106 --> 00:16:27,198
[Sighs]
304
00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:29,901
l never laughed that hard ever again.
305
00:16:32,345 --> 00:16:34,279
[Somber instrumental music]
306
00:16:35,448 --> 00:16:37,211
Ladybird.
307
00:16:37,317 --> 00:16:39,376
Come here, girl. Come to Daddy...
308
00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:41,554
so he can send you to...
309
00:16:42,122 --> 00:16:43,111
[Sniffs]
310
00:16:43,223 --> 00:16:44,690
doggy heaven.
311
00:16:47,294 --> 00:16:48,522
[Bird screeching]
312
00:16:52,198 --> 00:16:54,393
[Lightly suspenseful instrumental music]
313
00:16:54,534 --> 00:16:56,001
[Birds chirping]
314
00:16:58,705 --> 00:17:00,195
What the heck....
315
00:17:04,177 --> 00:17:05,769
[Yelling]
316
00:17:11,585 --> 00:17:12,552
[Whimpering]
317
00:17:14,821 --> 00:17:16,220
[Slow instrumental music]
318
00:17:19,392 --> 00:17:20,359
[Groans]
319
00:17:20,827 --> 00:17:22,488
Dad, you're okay.
320
00:17:22,729 --> 00:17:25,892
Don't look him in the eye.
lt makes him start howling.
321
00:17:26,766 --> 00:17:27,858
[Dale makes karate sound]
322
00:17:28,535 --> 00:17:31,800
Thought you could just waltz in here
and kill me, did you?
323
00:17:31,972 --> 00:17:33,906
So did he.
324
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,769
Damn it, Dale! You stupid--
325
00:17:37,877 --> 00:17:41,608
You will speak only
when l say you can speak.
326
00:17:41,715 --> 00:17:43,410
Remove the tape, Dale.
327
00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:46,316
Okay, you can speak.
328
00:17:46,419 --> 00:17:49,718
Let us go now and l promise
l won't kick your ass later.
329
00:17:49,823 --> 00:17:52,587
l'm sorry but l can't do that, Hank.
330
00:17:52,692 --> 00:17:54,683
l've got plans for you.
331
00:17:54,794 --> 00:17:56,022
Oh, yeah.
332
00:17:56,396 --> 00:17:59,854
l'm going to drain
all the blood out of your body.
333
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:04,594
Then l'm going to replace my blood
with your non-rabid blood...
334
00:18:04,704 --> 00:18:07,036
which will both cure me and give me...
335
00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:11,099
all your knowledge of propane
and propane accessories.
336
00:18:11,678 --> 00:18:14,772
l think you might be eating
the wrong kind of mushrooms, Dale.
337
00:18:14,881 --> 00:18:19,045
l know what l'm doing. These mushrooms
have been keeping me alive.
338
00:18:19,352 --> 00:18:22,617
But what l don't know, Hank,
is how you can still talk...
339
00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:26,681
when there's a million bugs
squiggling in and out of your mouth.
340
00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:28,124
Yeah, l can talk.
341
00:18:28,428 --> 00:18:32,387
And you just wait
until Bill and Boomhauer find us.
342
00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:35,123
[Bill whooping]
343
00:18:35,235 --> 00:18:38,898
Geronimo! Water's great!
344
00:18:39,005 --> 00:18:41,235
BOOMHAUER: Dang old Geronimo!
Dang old....
345
00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:46,376
Let's see you try and sell your way
out of this one, propane salesman.
346
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,410
Where's your precious propane now?
347
00:18:49,516 --> 00:18:50,483
[Cackling]
348
00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:51,845
[Coughing]
349
00:18:53,553 --> 00:18:56,818
Yeah, you got me, Dale.
There is no way out of this.
350
00:18:57,123 --> 00:18:59,853
So, if l understand your plan...
351
00:19:00,026 --> 00:19:04,224
it is to replace your rabies blood
with my clean blood. ls that right?
352
00:19:04,364 --> 00:19:07,731
-Who gave you a copy of my plan?
-You told me.
353
00:19:08,368 --> 00:19:11,303
So, step one, drain my blood.
354
00:19:11,604 --> 00:19:14,732
And, since you can't stand
the sight of blood...
355
00:19:14,841 --> 00:19:17,002
l guess you'll have
to hand me my pocketknife.
356
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:21,604
l'll do more than hand it to you.
l'll open it for you.
357
00:19:25,485 --> 00:19:30,081
You might wanna step back, Dale.
There is going to be a lot of blood. A lot.
358
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,223
[Dale groans]
359
00:19:31,991 --> 00:19:34,016
Okay, there. That's the vein.
360
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,249
[Hank exclaims in pain]
361
00:19:35,361 --> 00:19:38,228
-Boy, that smarts.
-Wait a minute.
362
00:19:38,465 --> 00:19:42,162
You've never cried out in pain in your life.
363
00:19:43,169 --> 00:19:46,627
That's what l get for trusting you
to drain your own blood.
364
00:19:46,806 --> 00:19:48,068
[Dale makes karate sound]
365
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:51,710
[Stuttering] Okay, Dale, take it easy.
l'm sorry. l made a mistake.
366
00:19:51,811 --> 00:19:54,939
l shouldn't have done that.
l should have cut my veins.
367
00:19:55,081 --> 00:19:59,541
Shut up! l'm tired of your face.
368
00:19:59,652 --> 00:20:00,619
[Growling]
369
00:20:01,221 --> 00:20:02,518
Ladybird!
370
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:05,321
[Ladybird growling]
371
00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:09,584
All right, dog. You wanna tango?
372
00:20:10,463 --> 00:20:11,896
[Ladybird snarling]
373
00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:13,260
[Dale screaming]
374
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:15,996
[Ladybird snarling and barking]
375
00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:18,801
Bobby, the knife.
376
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,064
[Screaming]
377
00:20:23,777 --> 00:20:27,474
Get your dog away from me.
She's got the rabies!
378
00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:29,514
Ladybird! Down, girl.
379
00:20:30,784 --> 00:20:34,015
BOBBY: Dad, watch out.
HANK: That's it. Come here.
380
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,020
BOBBY: She's got rabies. She'll bite you.
381
00:20:36,122 --> 00:20:39,649
No, she's just wounded and scared.
l'm her master. She'd never bite me.
382
00:20:39,759 --> 00:20:41,784
-Dad, look out!
-Bobby, don't.
383
00:20:41,895 --> 00:20:44,261
Shoot her! Shoot her with the gun!
384
00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:46,662
HANK: Bobby, no!
DALE: Yes, Bobby!
385
00:20:47,567 --> 00:20:48,534
[Gunshot]
386
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,768
You missed her!
387
00:20:50,904 --> 00:20:52,269
[Sighs] Ladybird.
388
00:20:53,239 --> 00:20:57,005
You see? l was right.
lt's a good thing you missed, Bobby.
389
00:20:57,377 --> 00:20:59,140
l didn't miss, Dad.
390
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,007
[Somber instrumental music]
391
00:21:02,215 --> 00:21:04,740
-Bandit?
-l saw him coming.
392
00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:06,784
l think he was gonna bite you.
393
00:21:09,055 --> 00:21:12,752
DALE: This isn't over.
394
00:21:13,259 --> 00:21:15,659
So long, suckers.
395
00:21:15,829 --> 00:21:17,091
[Dale yelling]
396
00:21:20,066 --> 00:21:21,033
[Hank sighs]
397
00:21:22,202 --> 00:21:24,670
DALE: Hank, l can see your house
from up here.
398
00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:30,166
l guess l'm glad Bandit didn't have rabies.
399
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:34,369
So, at least we know Ladybird
and Mr. Gribble will be okay.
400
00:21:34,681 --> 00:21:36,046
HANK: That's right, Son.
401
00:21:36,583 --> 00:21:39,746
-Thanks for building the cross.
-No problem, Bobby.
402
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,853
-l'm gonna say a few words now, Dad.
-l understand.
403
00:21:45,124 --> 00:21:46,591
[Bobby churring]
404
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,967
HANK: Amen,
405
00:21:57,637 --> 00:21:59,366
[Gentle instrumental music]
406
00:22:00,773 --> 00:22:04,004
HANK: Say, Bobby,
l know this won't be for a while...
407
00:22:04,244 --> 00:22:07,475
but when Ladybird dies,
how about if l let you pick our next pet.
408
00:22:07,580 --> 00:22:11,448
BOBBY: Really? Okay.
l'm gonna get a possum.
409
00:22:11,618 --> 00:22:15,110
HANK: No. No possums.
BOBBY: An ostrich then.
410
00:22:15,321 --> 00:22:18,552
HANK: l was thinking
more of a traditional pet, Bobby.
411
00:22:18,725 --> 00:22:21,159
HANK: Like another dog.
BOBBY: Okay.
412
00:22:22,395 --> 00:22:24,192
BOBBY: Can i get a poodle?
HANK: No,
413
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,000
DALE: So long, suckers,
414
00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:34,600
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