All language subtitles for King of the Hill s03e14 The Wedding Of Bobby Hill.eng

[Theme song]

So, meeting a woman on the Internet.
How do you like that?

I'll take care of everything
while you're away.

I even made a tape
of all of your plants' favorite songs.

Bill, Peggy and I were thinking...

Bobby could take care of
Boomhauer's house while he's gone.

I see.

Bobby's a good kid,
but you looked at his room lately?

So what do you say? It'll be good
for the boy, teach him some responsibility.

Man, whatever. You know,
there's lots to do, water them bonsai...

feed the koi.

Just think, Bill,
this"ll free you up for new challenges.

Like what?

So if we could have the keys...

Oops.

Here.

You know, I'm not really here
for a free haircut.

I'm here 'cause I like to check up on
what's happening...

what's going on, what's now.

I gotta tell you, baby doll, you're very now.

Thank you.

You're welcome.
The name is Rad Thibodeaux-s.

Here's my card, so you know I'm for real.

"Radical Concepts.�

That sounds exciting.

Only if you think the fast-paced,
celebrity-filled life...

of a concert promoter is exciting.

And your name is Rad? How clever!

I've noticed that we've been talking
a lot about Rad...

and not too much
about Miss sweet Luanne.

-Me, too.
-Tell me something.

-You got a lover?
-I don't even have a boyfriend.

My last one, Buckley,
blew up in a propane explosion.

I can tell
you're a very sensitive young woman.

And sensitive people, they do have
a hard time in our society today.

I mean, I should know.
As a self-proclaimed genius...

I myself, Rad Thibodeaux-s,
am often misunderstood.

-Self-proclaimed genius?
-Yes.

You poor thing!

-What do you think?
-Damn, that's a fine job, baby!

That's such a fine job,
you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna ask you out. You don't
know it yet, but you're gonna say yes.

He's right!

I'm trusting you
with Boomhauer's keys, Bobby.

Remember, it doesn't just unlock
the front door.

It unlocks a new phase in your life
as a responsible adult.

Why is Mr. Dauterive
looking at us like that?

He's proud of you, too, Bobby.

[Jazzy instrumental music]

[Telephone ringing]

BOOMHAUER: Hello, man, and you dang old
leave a message. I'm busy right now.

Just leave a name, number, date...

and no dang old no listening
or nothing like that.

DALE: Boomhauer, pick up.

Boomhauer, pick up.

Pick up, Boomhauer.

Right, you're away.

[Car honking]

-Hey, good looking.
-Hey.

Bobby, this is my new friend, Rad.

That's what his license plate says.

You see, in the industry, a man
is only as good as his word. So keep it.

Everybody's gonna know
that you are a man who keeps his word.

You break it... God!

I'm telling you, the freebies,
they dry up like a puddle in the sun.

Whoa!

Rad, what do you mean by "the industry"?

The entertainment industry.

Whoa!

There you go.

[Rock music playing]

Dad, I would like you to meet
a new friend of mine and Luanne's.

Hey, there, partner. The name's
Rad Thibodeaux-s. Pleased to meet you.

Here you go, businessman to businessman.

-Isn't that pronounced Thibodeaux?
-You know, sometimes, by mistake.

But no damage done.
Luanne has told me about you.

So I know you're gonna love
these free CDs.

-AOL?
-And guess what?

You sign up right now, I get 10 free hours.
All you gotta do is tell them...

that soocorad@aol.com sent you.

[Laughing]

Hey, Mom, Dad. Got it going on?

I got what? Doing what?

Bobby, what have you done
to your sleeves?

This is how Rad sleeves himself.
It's the industry.

I don't much care for that Rad fellow.

Rad Thibodeaux
is a self-proclaimed genius.

[Piano playing]

[Luanne exclaiming]

I'm gonna make you a sandwich,
sweet Luanne. What kind you want?

I'd like a...

I don't know.

-What's wrong, baby doll?
-Nothing.

It's just...

I didn't ever get to go anywhere
this fancy with Buckley.

Except his funeral reception.

There, there, sweetness.
It's different now. Rad's here, baby.

-Say my name.
-Rad.

Say, hey, Jay! Got it going on?

Careful, Bobby. You could have wet Rad.

Rad's cool with that. Aren't you, Rad?

Rad, I was speaking to you.

Bobby, I know you want my attention,
and that's nothing I can't handle...

but at the moment I am busy with the lady.

You can see Luanne anytime.
But I have school and stuff to do.

I have to take care of Boomhauer's house
while he's away.

How long is he away for?

[Loud music playing]

Pleased to see you.
Enjoy the music, gal, and the free food.

I'll go put this on the bed.

You had better not do that now.
Jeremy's in there.

He is busy, if you know what I mean.

In the meantime,
I am feeling kind of thirsty.

My beverage is on the south end
of the levee.

Do you know where Boomhauer
keeps his spare stash?

I'll get his number from Bobby.
We can call him and ask him.

-Listen to you.
-Does Boomhauer know about this party?

-Does he need to?
-Yes.

Why?

This isn't fair. I am not
a self-proclaimed genius...

so I don't always have
as good an answer as you do.

Wait, I know why.
Because you should tell people...

if you're gonna throw a party
in their house without asking them.

And the Rad I fell in love with
ought to know that.

Come on, make everyone leave.

Come on, now, Luanne. You don't
wanna make me and Mr. Boomhauser...

look like bad hosts, do you?

LUANNE: That's it, Rad Thibodeaux!

I am not your girlfriend anymore!

Wait a minute now. I never proclaimed you
to be my girlfriend, baby doll.

Welcome, buddy.
Enjoy the music and the free food.

I will not!

You get out of here. You, too.
And you, too. This is a smoke-free house!

The only thing hotter than this tub
is you two ladies.

Dad, I'm in my underpants.

Yeah, that was your decision.
You gotta live with it.

-Look at this place.
-12 years old, and drinking a beer!

- I didn't even like it.
-Now you're just trying to get me mad.

Your father and I are replacing you
as Boomhauer's house-sitter.

And we'll be keeping
the $1 a day for ourselves.

That's right.
I'm taking away your suitcase of props.

Fine! I can do my comedy without props.

So, you ever notice how...

You can't take away my props!

[Luanne sobbing]

Because of you, I'm propless.
Hey, you can't throw those out.

This CD is all I've got left of Rad.

He didn't give it to you, Bobby.
He gave it to me.

You were never even part of his
inner circle. You were just a hanger-on.

-Take that back!
-Like A.J.

State your purpose.

Mr. Gribble, I'm having a problem
with Luanne.

Do you know anything
about getting even with people...

who've done something bad to you?

No, Bobby, nothing at all.

[Upbeat instrumental music]

[Bobby chuckling]

[Air horn blowing]

[Luanne screaming]

[Air horn blowing]

Bobby!

[Luanne grunting]

Just gardening.

[Luanne laughing]

[Bobby sputtering]

-Cut it out, Bobby. No one's laughing.
- I didn't do it!

Bobby, we just saw you spit dirt all over--

Why would I put dirt in my own fruit pie?

My own fruit pie!

Why you do a lot of things
is a mystery to me.

See you later, Aunt Peggy.

If I find out that this was you
and not a laundry accident...

I'm going to be really mad.

How do you like that?

Peggy. come in here.

Well, that's me.

A camera in the bedroom.
This is kind of fun.

-This is Hank Hill with the news.
-Hank, you are terrible.

You're getting to be a handful, Bobby,
and nobody likes a handful.

[Upbeat instrumental music]

Sweet Tarts.

If this is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

DALE: Couldn't help hearing the bubbles.
Mind if I join?

-Oh, dear Lord!
-Get the hell out of here, Dale.

No!

No!

Is anything the matter, Luanne?

My birth control pills
have stopped working.

I should have known
when they started tasting sweet.

-Like candy?
-This isn't funny, Bobby.

-I disagree.
-You don't understand.

Every woman has to take
a birth control pill every day...

or else they get pregnant.

-Just take two now. Hurry!
-That would destroy my insides.

-That's how it works.
-Take them!

[Chuckling]

[Door opening]

There's only one way
to teach Dale the meaning of no.

Mom, Dad, I've gotten Luanne pregnant!

Luanne, I thought
you were smarter than this.

I did.

Can you imagine the consequences
if you had taken one of those fake pills...

-and gone out and had unprotected--
-No!

I only got the pill to clear up
my complexion and regulate my--

No!

Bobby's the one who messed
with my medicine.

You messed with his fruit pies.
After that, he had nothing to lose.

-I'll go tell him the truth right away.
-No, not so fast.

Bobby has to learn that what he did
was completely unacceptable.

Now, as far as he knows,
you are still expecting.

-You want me to lie?
-Deceiving somebody is never good...

but in order to teach Bobby
the meaning of responsibility--

I'll do it!

-So, how's it going there, sport?
-Not so good.

-Pretty big screw-up, huh?
- I feel bad about it, Dad.

Heck, we all make mistakes.
The point is you can make up for them.

BOBBY: Really? How?
HANK: By doing the right thing, of course.

-You're gonna have to marry Luanne.
-But I'm only 12 years old.

Just think,
you could be married for 80 years.

Dad, you can't make me marry Luanne!

Yes, I can, Bobby. You're only 12 years old.

[Tense instrumental music]

[Sad instrumental music]

Please, Dad, I don't want to marry Luanne.

It's a little late for that.
You didn't take care of Boomhauer's...

you drank beer,
you messed with Luanne's lady pills.

I ask you, is that responsible behavior?

No.

Then having to marry Luanne
will be a good lesson for you.

Luanne, I know we've had our differences...

but I was kind of hoping
we could make up and not get married.

Uncle Hank, Bobby's
trying to get out of marrying me!

HANK: Bobby, you cut that out.

BILL: You barely touched that sundae.
BOBBY: I'm not really hungry.

Come on.
What kind of bachelor party is this?

Better live it up all you can
before the wife is after you...

to watch the waistline.

-Yeah.
-Yup, this is the last free night of your life.

To Mr. and Mrs. Bobby Hill.

May their marriage be every bit
as wonderful as mine is.

And as mine was.

[Solemn instrumental music]

-Bobby, I've gotta do my homework.
-Homework.

You go on and do your homework.

Just let me watch you for a little while.

[Sad instrumental music]

PEGGY: My little man,
I brought this for you.

-Mom, I don't wanna do this.
-Of course you don't.

[Piano playing]

Come, my child.

Minbh, it's finally happening.
Bobby Hill-billy is marrying hillbilly cousin.

You owe me $5. In your face!

Bobby, do you take Luanne
to be your lawful wedded wife...

to have and to hold, to love and to cherish,
till death do you part?

[Gasping]

That sounds like a yes to me.

All right. Luanne, do you take Bobby
to be your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

LUANNE: Bobby!

Oh, no. I think I need to lie down.

[Piano playing]

Can I tell him now?
Can I tell him how we fooled him?

Luanne, I am really sorry about this,
honey, but I have some bad news.

It turns out that Bill
is actually a licensed minister.

You mean I'm really married to Bobby?

Legally, yes.

Then I'll get a divorce, that's what I'll do.
I'll say he hit me.

I guess you could do that.
But the law is you have to wait a year.

That's to give you time to patch things up.

No!

Please, Luanne, I don't think
I'm ready for this yet.

Look, we're going to have to deal
with this being married thing.

So the sooner we make the rules,
the better.

I get to date as much as I want
with whoever I want.

You can see Connie if you want to,
but just not in public.

No, I changed my mind.
You can't see Connie ever.

[Sad instrumental music]

Look at the happy newlyweds!

How come they get to be married
when I never do?

Why do they get to be so happy?
It's not fair. It's a fake!

It's all a fake! I'm not a minister!
Dale used a self-playing piano!

It's a great big fake, is what it is!

-That sure was some good parenting.
- I don't think the experts would disagree.

Mr. Dauterive says
Bobby and I aren't really married!

I'm still keeping those place mats
he gave us.

Place mats? That's it?
Why, he's one of your best friends!

-You want some milk with that?
- I do.

I'm glad we're not married anymore.
But you know what?

- I could do a whole lot worse.
-I'm sorry for the pranks, Luanne.

And you probably shouldn't open
your laundry hamper very quickly...

-unless you like snakes.
-Thank you.

You might not want to ride downhill
on your bike.

Something might be wrong
with the brake cable.

BOBBY: Don't use your mouthwash
around an open flame, all right?

LUANNE: I'll try not to.

You might want to stop drinking that milk.

[Bobby sputtering]

[Theme song]

BOBBY: / don't think I'm ready for this yet!

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