All language subtitles for King of the Hill s03e09 Pretty Pretty Dresses.eng

[SOBBING]

[CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING]

[CHRISTMAS-STYLE THEME SONG]

[SOBBING]

I do love Christmas.

I like to celebrate the anniversary

of when Lenore left me
seven years ago, Christmas Eve.

Best thing that ever
happened to me. Yup.

That's nice, Bill.

I tell you what. Holidays are
the least lonely time of the year.

[SIGHING]

You know,
I feel like eating a cookie.

Bill's always got some cookies
lying around, probably.

Bill.

[SAD INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[DOOR CREAKING]

Oh, Hank!

Hey, buddy.

I was just cleaning
for baby Jesus' birthday.

Good.

I just wanted to make sure
that you'll be coming over for dinner,

you know,
until the holidays are over.

Yeah, I'm coming.

I cleared my calendar
right through the end of the year...

and a good chunk of the next.

Bill, these old gifts aren't for Lenore,
are they?

No.

[CHUCKLING]

Yes, but she'll come back
and be happy I saved everything.

Bill, you've got to face the facts.
She's not...

[BILL SNIFFING]

It's very unlikely that...

I guess you never know.
Freakish things do happen.

Yes, they do. Thank you.

I've received a few more responses
for our party.

Rudy Beaker, yes-VP.

All this talk about people makes me...

You know what it makes me
think about? Break-ups.

You ever think about
that dead boyfriend of yours?

Well--

I wonder if you'll ever
find someone again.

I mean, most people
just get one relationship in this life.

Luanne, honey,
can you help me serve at the party?

You were such a wonderful hostess
last year.

[STAMMERING]

What?

I can help, Mom.
I'll be the hostess with the mostess.

[SIGHS]

Let's see, Mary, Margaret...

What's the name of that girl
who dumped you, Bobby?

- Marie.
- Marie. Yeah, she was cute.

Maybe we could
talk about something else?

Yeah, sure.

Remember Bob Cecil, Peggy?

You went to a
basketball game together.

You liked him.

That was tenth grade.
No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did.
But he didn't like you.

- Shouldn't you be doing this?
- He likes serving.

After last night, it is a miracle
I have my appetite back at all.

I just don't see why Bill
must ruin all of our dinners.

- Personally, I can live without him.
- Me, too.

Peggy, a little more
than 20 years ago,

I set Arlen High's
single-season rushing record.

Sure, I had legs like a jackrabbit,
but Bill Dauterive blocked for me.

And the running back
who forgets his front line,

that's the man
I wouldn't want to have to dinner.

Shame on you both.

BILL: Here you go, darling.
Come on.

[HUMMING COAXINGLY]

Come on, eat up.

So...

Were they all out of dogs there, Bill?

No, iguanas are very
trendy these days.

You see them in cigar bars
with movie stars.

Come on, Lenore.

You've named it Lenore?

Yeah, I thought it
looked like a Lenore.

I think he's just not
very hungry right now.

I mean, with so many new people.

- Should I leave?
- Thank you.

Don't worry. It's dead.

[ALL GASPING]

I cannot eat another meal
with Bill at our dinner table.

Why? Bill seemed
a lot happier tonight.

Honey, that ijuana
is a cry for help.

A hissing,
disease-ridden cry for help.

Luanne, knock!

- I had a bad dream.
- Bill?

I dreamt that Lenore came back
and stole Lenore.

Then Lenore drove off with Lenore,
and I ran down the street after them,

and I yelled, "Lenore!"

And then my teeth fell out.

Peggy, you were there.
Can I sleep in your living room?

[SIGHING]

Yes, Bill.

I'm giving you 24 hours
to get me out of that man's dreams.

Shall we?

[SIGHING]

No.

[IGUANA HISSING]

You need a minute?

Bill, I want to have dinner tonight,
just the family.

You don't want me
coming to dinner?

Why don't you just take the night
to practice being happy, okay?

Okay, that's fine. No problem.
I like eating alone. I prefer it, even.

No offense to your family.

It is just so wonderful.
The food even smells better.

[SAD INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[SIGHING DEEPLY]

[HANK CHUCKLES]

And then the Clint Eastwood character
would say:

"That propane tank is empty."

Wouldn't that be a good movie?

Good? That would be a great movie.

And would you direct it,
Uncle Hank?

Yeah, me maybe,
or your Aunt Peggy.

Did I ever tell you
all about how they...

[SOBBING]

[SAD INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

HANK:
Dang!

My 10-footer's gone. Dale!

Or Bill! Probably Dale!

What you doing there, Bill?
Satellite dish trouble?

BILL: No, I'm just up here
to kill myself.

HANK:
What?

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[BILL GRUNTING]

[BILL GROANS]

No!

You know who I feel
sorriest for in all this?

Bill. We need to find
him a psychiatrist.

He's just suicidal, Peggy,
he's not crazy.

We've just gotta watch him constantly
until he snaps out of it.

I don't think Bill is
gonna snap out of it.

There's nothing we can do
but sit back and watch the bloodbath.

No, he's our friend.

Dale, you make your own hours,
so you take the day shift.

I'll take nights. Boomhauer,
late afternoon to early evening.

BILL: Can I have
another codeine, please?

DALE: Quiet, Bill.
We're trying to do something here.

So...

This shouldn't be here.

So, maybe you ought to get to bed
and try to sleep this thing off.

All I do is sleep.
I guess I'm just getting in practice

for the big long sleep.

[EXCLAIMING IN FRIGHT]

- Come on, Bill. How about a beer?
- Beer's a depressant, Hank.

Don't go blaming the beer.

[QUIRKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[SIGHING]

It's electric, Bill.

Yeah, but it's still getting pretty hot.

[DOOR OPENING]

[BILL GRUNTING]

All right, we'll do this the hard way.

Where do you keep your pajamas?

Okay, you want
baseball players or the...

What's this fancy one?

I like the way silk feels on my skin.

Silk is for pantyhose, Bill.

They're all I got.
You've got a wife!

- HANK: Put them on.
- BILL: No, I don't want to.

BILL:
Arms up.

[QUIRKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY]

Rinse.

[BILL SNORING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[BILL GRUNTING]

Damn it, Bill!

[BILL CONTINUES GRUNTING]

[DALE GRUNTS DISAPPROVINGLY]

- BILL: But I have to tinkle.
- DALE: Not on my watch.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

Lenore and I used to come here
and watch people dance like that.

[WHIMPERING]

[SOBBING]

Stop!

[HORN BLARING]

[TV PLAYING]

I can't keep this up. It's not in
my nature to care about others.

Yeah, man. That old routine, man.
Talking about no free time.

Work. Bill. Work. Bill.

Put an old bullet in
my own head, man.

Okay, I'll take over
your guys' shifts.

I just gotta work it out
with my boss.

- Dale, what are you wearing?
- Nothing.

HANK:
That's Bill's pajama top.

He's as good as dead.
What's the difference?

Sir, you know how I hate missing work
during the holidays, but I got a--

It's your Christmas party, right?
You need some time to set up.

Get it right. You invited
our whole dang client sheet.

No, actually,
it concerns a friend of mine,

and it's a matter of
life or death, really.

Yeah. Just wrap it up
one way or t'other.

And have Donna
zero out your vacation days.

Dang it, Bill!

I haven't slept in two days.

This morning Bill tried to
drown himself in the toilet.

So do you think you
could find him a date?

I would have to
invite a woman over for dinner,

and, of course,
never tell her that Bill would be here.

Thanks, Peggy.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

They won't let me have a knife.
I'm in the middle of killing myself.

Do you like iguanas, Mrs. Tobis?

You lied to me, Peggy.

Mr. Dauterive
is a collector of exotic reptilia.

You collect throw pillows.

I have some pillows on my couch,
but that doesn't make me insane.

And in answer to your question,

I find iguanas to be filthy,
repulsive creatures.

Why, I think we all
could use a bath.

[GASPS]

- Well, when it's your own.
- You are a gross man.

- Sheila!
- Marry me.

- Bill.
- This is so exciting.

I just want my coat.
For the love of God, get me my coat.

Allow me.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[BOTH GASP]

Lenore, don't leave me!

[WAILING]

[BILL GRUNTS IN PAIN]

Sheila, I should tell you right now,
I have already given him your number.

[MOURNFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[BILL BLUBBERING]

[GRUNTING]

Dale.

He would have
wanted me to have it.

He's still alive.

Nitpicking ain't going
to bring him back.

[SOBBING]

Hank, help me look for Lenore.

Bill, can't you see that this whole
Lenore thing is your problem?

The iguana, these presents, this old tree.
Get rid of this stuff.

No!

No, I couldn't.
See, when she comes back--

She's never coming back.
It's so obvious.

She doesn't want this stupid stocking.

No!

Or whatever's in this box.

No.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Or this.

[BILL WHIMPERS]

Or this.

There.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

You feel okay?

I don't feel anything.

Great, I knew you'd snap out of this.

- Sure you're okay?
- Yes.

Good.

Now I can tell you,
you were acting pretty weird there.

Yes.

Okay, then. I'll see you tomorrow.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

I was really hard on him
but it was all for the best.

Can you imagine if he'd shown up
at our party with Lenore?

- Are you sure he's okay?
- I asked him twice.

There's that lizard.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Who are you?
What are you doing in Bill's backyard?

[FEMININE VOICE]
Hank, don't you recognize me?

I'm Lenore.

What is going on?

I'm just washing a dress
for your big party, silly.

Bill, take off the dress.

Why do you keep calling me Bill?

My name is Lenore, silly.

I've come back
because I love Bill so much,

and I really missed him.

No, this is too much.

In high school, you blocked for me,
but I did my job, too.

I ran through the hole

setting Arlen High's single-season
rushing record, as you recall.

And now here I am blocking for you,
but you're not even trying.

I don't even know
what game you're playing.

Maybe some kind of crazy tennis.

Hank!

Okay, then. Nice visiting with you.
See you at the party.

No, you stay away from my party.
No party. You got that?

I'm already invited, so there.

BILL:
Hello.

Do you gentlemen
think you could spare a beer for a lady?

Come on, you know you're Bill.

No, I don't know that.
I'm Lenore.

If you're Lenore,
then where's Bill?

Bill's in the house.
You want me to go get him?

I'm skeptical that you could,
yet intrigued that you may.

Bill's been acting a little...
weird lately, don't you think?

Maybe it's me.

Bill's busy.

I needed a wrap. It's chilly.

- Yup.
- All right, that's it.

PEGGY:
Honey, you're peeling in anger.

You should be able to get more than
one French fry out of a whole Idaho.

Yeah, maybe I am angry.

I used my vacation days
bathing the son of a bitch,

and he threatens
to crash my Christmas party.

He's not being an
ingrate on purpose.

The only way that Bill could get
Lenore back was to become her.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was
some psychological basis to it.

I don't know anything
about psychology,

but it sounds to me
like Mr. Dauterive needs closure.

He needs to realize
that Lenore's never coming back,

and he needs to just
move on with his life.

It's the same thing
Buckley's angel told me.

Buckley's angel
is the only one making sense.

How about I invite the real Lenore
to the party

and just settle this thing
once and for all?

I hope it works, but if they
show up in the same dress,

it'll be a disaster.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

Listen, Hank, we got all our clients here.
Big fish, little fish.

If you see some little fish cornering me,
it's your job to pull me out.

We should treat all our clients
like big fish, Mr. Strickland.

Good. Save that for the little fish.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Damn it.

[GASPS]

May I offer you a homemade Tater Tot,
Mr. and Mrs. Dauterive?

Why, thanks.

What the hell's going on here, Hank?

I ordered a Santa.
This is some kind of mistake.

[WHISPERING]
Bill, get out.

- Lenore.
- Bill.

I want to stay and mingle.

Lenore, who is me,
sure does love a party.

Party, party!

- Phone call for you, Mom.
- Hello.

Lenore? Hold on.

Bill, it's the real Lenore.

What?

Honey, but you have to come by.

Okay, how about I hand Bill the phone?
It would really help...

If you could just tell him
you send your love...

Yeah, sure. No, I understand.

Never mind, Bill.

[WHIMPERING]

MAN 1:
My God, look at that guy.

WOMAN 1: Is this a joke?
'Cause if it is, I don't get it.

MAN 2:
He's a freak.

I tell you what,
it's getting ugly in here, man.

These people coming get Bill in a dress,
get the ass-whupping on him.

[BILL CONTINUES WHIMPERING]

Go back to Hollywood.

MAN 3: This isn't
the Democratic National Convention.

MAN 4: You crashed
the wrong party, honey.

MAN 5:
This is Strickland Propane.

MAN 6:
Take it off. You're scaring me.

HANK:
Yeah, now we're having fun.

Yeah, that's right.
It's that kind of party.

Anything goes. Extra fun.

Hank, this wasn't on my invitation.

Did you make Bill a special invitation?

Stop it!

[ALL GASPING]

Okey-dokey.
Everyone, let's play Boggle.

It's not usually played
with such a large group,

but it's Christmas.

Let's sing a song.

[BILL SOBBING]

Stop teasing me.

Bill, I am Lenore,
and I don't love you.

No, Hank, I'm Lenore.

I've left you forever
because you're lazy and no-good.

Lenore.

We fight so loud all
the neighbors can hear.

We fight during the day,
we fight during the night.

Lenore, wait. We can work stuff out.
I'm a good husband.

Bill, if I wanted to work things out,
I would have called.

I don't love you anymore. That's it.

I don't love you.

That's all?

That's why you left?
It's simple as that?

You didn't even have the courtesy
to send me a Dear John letter?

I tell you what,
I consider that rude.

And I'll tell you something,
I am worth a Dear John letter.

I'll tell you that right now.

And there are a lot of women
who would agree with me.

So, you know what?
You go ahead. You get out! Get out!

You don't deserve
William Fontaine Delatur Dauterive.

Okay, Bill, that's what I'm doing then.

[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

I hit rock bottom there, didn't I, Hank?

And hard.

Then it's all uphill from now on.

Yup. The wind's at your back, buddy.
Merry Christmas.

[DALE STUTTERING]

[THEME SONG]

BILL [FEMININE VOICE]:
Why do you keep calling me Bill?

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