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1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:03,569
[Theme music]
2
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:38,000
Yup, I change my oil every 3,000 miles...
3
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:40,836
or when I get bored, whichever comes first.
4
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,476
[All laughing]
5
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,179
DALE: I see London, I see France.
6
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:52,285
-Told you, Hank. London and France.
-Ladybird, no!
7
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,489
HANK: Get out of my underwear.
PEGGY: I put those on her.
8
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,388
Ladybird is in heat
and we are out of doggy diapers.
9
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,086
Peggy. how could you? My old underwear?
10
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:04,528
-I don't even wear that anymore.
-She wouldn't have to wear anything...
11
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,032
if you spayed her,
or hired someone to do it.
12
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:09,762
I can't have her spayed.
I'm gonna breed her...
13
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:13,170
-one of these days.
-She's almost 13 years old.
14
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:17,540
You can't mate a purebred bloodhound
with just any old dog.
15
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,942
That'd be throwing away
seven generations...
16
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:24,245
-of the finest Georgia inbreeding.
-This could be Ladybird's last heat.
17
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,342
If you don't do something, and fast...
18
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:29,514
she is gonna spend the rest of her life
childless and lonely...
19
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,819
sulking about the house
in soiled underwear.
20
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,222
Like Bill.
21
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,025
Get off a shot, and I wing him!
22
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,596
Dang if he didn't keep going
another mile or two.
23
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:48,032
Ain't nothing keeps you sharp
for deer season like hunting humans.
24
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:49,733
[Bullet ricocheting]
25
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,837
Excuse me,
I couldn't help reading your lips.
26
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,848
This hunting humans...
27
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,881
-Do you need a license?
-This hat's my license.
28
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:05,280
Any man who skips out on his bail
can be hunted like an animal...
29
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,991
although not eaten.
30
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:10,029
All you gotta do
is sit through a four-hour training course.
31
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,589
You're telling me there's a poorly-trained,
quasi-legal police force...
32
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,965
that operates with few, if any,
government controls?
33
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,432
It's about time.
34
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:27,077
HANK: Boy, that's some mighty fine hounds
you got yourself there, Buck.
35
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:30,980
BUCK: That's right. Champions, all of them.
Except for the deaf one.
36
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:34,282
Yup, fine hounds.
37
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,152
[Hank grunts approvingly]
38
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,417
Mr. Strickland, there's something
I'd like to ask you.
39
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,928
Yeah, I'd love to give you a raise,
but the accounting department said:
40
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:46,364
"Buck, stop letting the employees
put your lemons in a vice.�
41
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,025
Donna said that?
42
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,166
My hands are tied.
43
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,136
Sir, this is about my Ladybird.
44
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,507
I finally decided to breed her,
and I was hoping one of your studs...
45
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:58,635
[Squeals excitedly]
46
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:02,807
One of my boys finally gets
to "Howdy, ma'am" the debutante.
47
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,380
You know my terms.
48
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:07,010
$500 the first session,
$400 each additional session...
49
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,612
and, please, no flash photography.
50
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,853
[Quirky instrumental music]
51
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,060
Okay, let's all shut up, please.
52
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,638
[Dale humming]
53
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:29,469
INSTRUCTOR: We don't have much time,
so let's get right to it.
54
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,213
TV: We don't have much time,
so let's get right to it.
55
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:36,544
In the next four hours,
we'll find out if you've got what it takes...
56
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,015
to wear this hat.
57
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,023
[Soft instrumental music]
58
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,953
Ladybird is gonna be a mommy.
59
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,758
Seems like just yesterday
Mom and Dad brought her home for me...
60
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:54,664
on account of me not having
any brothers and sisters to play with.
61
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:58,727
If I'd been old enough to talk,
I would have asked for a monkey.
62
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,600
But I guess things worked out okay.
63
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:02,932
[Doorbell rings]
64
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,273
That's them. Is everything...
65
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,977
[Slow instrumental music]
66
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,051
Ladybird Hill, you're beautiful.
67
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,282
Luanne, take off her underwear.
68
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,455
[Hank sighs]
69
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,159
HANK: I'm honored you could share
Ladybird's special evening with us.
70
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,962
Yeah. Let's make some hound dog.
I'm late for a bachelor auction.
71
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:32,838
Okay, you learned kicking down doors,
you learned mustaches...
72
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,203
mailman suits and other disguises.
73
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:38,073
Did we cover
choke holds and pepper spray?
74
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,847
-Yes.
-Good. Take your seat.
75
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,005
[Dale gagging]
76
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,244
Okay, you have 15 minutes
to complete the ethics exam.
77
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:48,083
Good luck,
and try to remember what I taught you:
78
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,954
A A, B A C.
79
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:58,061
INSTRUCTOR: Congratulations,
Class of Thursday, a.m.
80
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,399
You may now call yourselves
"Bounty Hunters."�
81
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,804
-Hello, Dr. Downs.
-Hank. Ladybird.
82
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:17,641
-This is my wife, Peggy.
- I take care of our son.
83
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:22,716
What'll it be? Flea dip?
Tartar scrape? Worm shot?
84
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,724
Not this week.
I finally let my little girl start dating...
85
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,353
and I think she's in a family way.
86
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,697
That's sweet.
87
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:35,264
Let me get a glove on and have a look-see.
88
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,159
[Peggy groans]
89
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,762
This place gives me the d�ja vus.
90
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,500
It's just like
when we were trying to get pregnant.
91
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,236
Yeah, I remember.
92
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:50,375
So, Doctor, is she gonna be a mommy?
93
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,877
How do I say this
without breaking your hearts?
94
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,157
DOCTOR: No.
PEGGY: Oh, God!
95
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,216
Damn.
96
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,988
I have your test results.
97
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,085
Peggy--
98
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,632
I knew it, I'll never get pregnant.
What is wrong with me?
99
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:10,033
-Peggy. no, this is not your fault.
-He's right, Mrs. Hill.
100
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:13,763
There's no point in blaming yourself.
It's Hank's fault.
101
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,466
HANK: What?
DOCTOR: You have a narrow urethra...
102
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:19,910
and years of chronic tension
have only made it worse.
103
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,274
I really don't think
you'll ever have children.
104
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,750
But that's impossible.
105
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:29,686
The lab reports confirm it.
Although I suspected as much...
106
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,224
when it took you 30 minutes
to produce a urine sample.
107
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,022
You want it done it quick,
or you want it done right?
108
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:38,359
Hank, please calm down.
Your urethra will disappear.
109
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,890
Isn't there anything we can do?
110
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:44,301
For starters, we can transition you
to boxer shorts.
111
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,803
[Grunts in disapprovall
112
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,000
Or if that's unacceptable...
113
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,271
I can prescribe
a specific series of sexual techniques.
114
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:54,780
A series?
Are you suggesting I break the law?
115
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,680
Hank, please. He's just trying to help us.
116
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:01,083
Now, I saw something on the news...
117
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:04,418
about a procedure
called in vitro fertilization.
118
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,391
They mix your boys
with one of my ladies in a test tube.
119
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:10,395
-Isn't that wonderful?
-No, it's terrible!
120
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,124
It's science run amuck.
121
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,290
Oh, Hank...
122
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,859
It's perfectly safe, Mr. Hill.
They've tested it on animals.
123
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,938
-Couldn't we just try it?
-No!
124
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,531
It's wrong on humans
and it's wrong on animals.
125
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,703
I'm sorry, Peggy.
I know you're disappointed...
126
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,940
but that's just how I was raised.
127
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,949
By my mother and father, not a test tube.
128
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,350
So, is Ladybird going to be a mommy?
129
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,553
Sorry, Hank.
130
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:40,456
Mr. Strickland better refund our $500.
131
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:44,562
I knew that stud was no good.
He wouldn't even look her in the eye.
132
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,599
It ain't the stud's fault. It's Ladybird's.
133
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:51,935
DR. DOWNS: She's got a narrow uterus.
HANK: No!
134
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,673
So, she can't have puppies?
135
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:59,002
Stranger things have happened,
but no, she can't.
136
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,814
MAN: Go get it.
137
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,420
[Slow instrumental music]
138
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,658
I know it hurts, Ladybird.
I've been there myself.
139
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:16,523
I just wish I could scoop up your pain
in a little plastic bag and throw it out.
140
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,587
[Dog sniffing]
141
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:19,961
Get off her.
142
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,232
Forget it. Knock yourself out.
143
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,100
Buddy, no. Down.
144
00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:30,072
-I'm so sorry.
-It's all right. No harm, no foul.
145
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,712
See, the thing is,
my Ladybird has a narrow uterus.
146
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,542
The vet said she will never know
the pleasures of motherhood.
147
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:41,245
In fact...
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burden you.
148
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,813
Not at all. We were in the same situation
with Buddy's mother.
149
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,086
Turns out there's all sorts of things
you can do.
150
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,356
-There are? Like what?
-Diet, hormones.
151
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:54,024
-Body work.
-Surgery. There's a whole world out there.
152
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,034
Wow, I want to know everything.
153
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:59,299
Do you and your brother
have time to grab a beer?
154
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,798
[Stutters]
155
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,433
Sure, I know just the place.
156
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:08,043
MAN: Assault with a deadly weapon
and attempted murder of a police officer.
157
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:11,982
MAN: He's been on the run about two days.
DALE: Me, right here, I'll take it.
158
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,713
Excuse me. I had my hand up first.
159
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,654
Why do you keep giving all the cases
to these other guys?
160
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,385
Because they're experienced
professional bounty hunters.
161
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,394
You're some deluded bug sprayer
who took a four-hour course...
162
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,658
learned a few choke holds, and got a hat.
163
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:26,732
[Dale grunts]
164
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:30,234
You are familiar with my credentials,
yet you still refuse...
165
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,997
to give me a case.
166
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:36,501
If it'll shut you up, the fugitive's name
is James "Jimmy" Helstrom...
167
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:40,239
a.k.a. Jim Helstrom.
Wanted for unpaid parking tickets.
168
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,144
The hunt is on.
169
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,511
[Thermometer beeps]
170
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:51,420
-100.7.
-Wow, it's hot in a dog's head.
171
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,753
[Peggy laughing]
172
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:56,261
PEGGY: I love the bloopers.
The practical jokes, not so much.
173
00:09:57,363 --> 00:10:00,094
-What are you doing?
-I'm charting Ladybird's temperature.
174
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,932
I'm gonna pinpoint
the exact perfect moment for her to mate.
175
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:06,034
Give me that!
176
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,576
Hank, that thermometer's for company,
you know that.
177
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:14,943
HANK: But I was using it.
PEGGY: I don't see why.
178
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:18,177
The doctor said
Ladybird cannot get pregnant.
179
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:22,388
I know, but then I met some men,
we went to a bar...
180
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:26,455
and before it all went horribly wrong,
they told me a bunch of things...
181
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,994
I can do to get Ladybird pregnant.
182
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:32,359
100.4. She's ready for a stud.
183
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,324
[Peggy groans]
184
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:38,234
Peggy. quick, call Buck Strickland.
I put him on the speed dial.
185
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,395
Just press "Peggy's Mother."
186
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,507
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
187
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,276
[Chuckles]
188
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,344
[Doorbell rings]
189
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:46,843
DALE: Arlen Florist.
190
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:50,439
I've got some long-stemmed roses
for Jimmy Helstrom.
191
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:51,744
[Door being unlocked]
192
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,512
[Footsteps receding hurriedly]
193
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:58,352
[Car engine starting]
194
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,118
[Tires screeching]
195
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,131
[Doorbell rings]
196
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,526
[Peggy shivering]
197
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:15,798
What the "H" are you doing?
198
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:20,278
It's called the Telling ton Touch.
It's a body-awareness technique.
199
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,847
All the top fertility experts swear by it.
200
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:25,441
My grandmother quilted that blanket.
201
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:30,386
Peggy. no! I can't move her for two hours.
She just mated.
202
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:33,024
Just give me the freaking blanket.
203
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:38,390
DALE: Thought you could outsmart me,
did you, J. Helstrom?
204
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,633
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
205
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,231
[Chuckling]
206
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,304
[Tense instrumental music]
207
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,571
[Dale screaming]
208
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,307
BOBBY: Ladybird!
209
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,543
-Bobby, come stand with me.
-Okay.
210
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:04,815
You know, I just...
I don't like to drink alone.
211
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,923
So, how's school?
212
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:13,763
-Fine.
-That's nice.
213
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,193
[Bill sighs]
214
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,033
-Friends?
-Yeah.
215
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,541
[Bill grunts in approvall
216
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,510
Uh...
217
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,770
I got to give Ladybird her hormone biscuit.
218
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,572
BILL: Let me see that.
219
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,445
[Sniffing]
220
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:35,317
See, Ladybird is gonna be a mommy,
and we're gonna have a puppy again...
221
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:39,255
just like when I was 1 year old
and my parents got me Ladybird.
222
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,851
Boy, that sure is a cute story.
223
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,386
But you got it all wrong.
224
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,965
Your parents had that dog
a whole year before you came along.
225
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,626
-What?
-Yeah.
226
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:53,070
As I recall, your mama
was having trouble getting pregnant...
227
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:55,664
on account of
your daddy's narrow doohickey.
228
00:12:55,775 --> 00:13:00,144
And eventually, they just gave up
on ever having a child of their own...
229
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,613
and they did the next best thing.
230
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,876
[Pleasant instrumental music]
231
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,887
[Peggy gasps]
232
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,787
[Peggy laughing]
233
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,950
Hank, thank you. She's perfect.
234
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,452
[Hank laughing]
235
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:19,895
[Smooching]
236
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:21,558
[Peggy laughing]
237
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:26,767
Yeah.
238
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,168
[Laughs]
239
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,468
BOBBY: Hey, hey!
240
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:34,842
They gave up on having a child
of their own...
241
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:37,973
but here I am. A child.
242
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:41,150
A child doesn't just come out of nowhere.
243
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:45,355
Mr. Dauterive, was I adopted?
244
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,787
I'll tell you, Bobby...
245
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,457
if you get me some more of these cookies.
246
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:55,523
But those are dog hormone biscuits.
And that's the last one.
247
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:59,229
And they're from a special store,
and it's 2 miles away.
248
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,572
Sorry, Bobby, that's the deal.
249
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,942
[Bobby sighs]
250
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:07,245
[Slow instrumental music]
251
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,473
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
252
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,917
[Grunts in acknowledgement]
253
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,958
Outstanding! We'll take the next flight out.
254
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:24,528
No, God bless you, Doctor.
We did it, Peggy.
255
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:28,395
Ladybird's been accepted
into an in vitro fertilization program...
256
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:32,369
-up at Michigan State.
-In vitro? What are you talking about?
257
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:36,840
Test-tube puppies. They're using
this new experimental fertility drug.
258
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,604
I figure if it's safe enough
for humans in France...
259
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,942
it's probably safe enough
for dogs in America.
260
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:46,246
If you are thinking of flying your dog
to Michigan to get her pregnant...
261
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:51,051
-do not bother buying a round trip ticket.
-Relax, I don't have to buy anything.
262
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,783
Can I have your frequent fl yer number?
263
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,489
But I need those miles to get
to my great-aunt's funeral next year.
264
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,633
Fine! Go!
265
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,567
Just do not expect me to be here
when you get back!
266
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,735
Mom, can I stay with you for a few...
267
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,841
I'm sorry, Mr. Strickland.
268
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:16,778
Great news, Ladybird. We're going to...
Oh, my God.
269
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,313
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
270
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:24,453
Let's get one thing straight, Ladybird.
You work for me.
271
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,989
[Solemn instrumental music]
272
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,763
-You're still here.
-Ladybird's gone.
273
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,773
-What happened?
-I don't know.
274
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:47,210
Maybe you left her pen open.
By mistake, of course, and she ran away.
275
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,179
What? You're blaming me?
276
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,512
I would have to be
pretty passive-aggressive...
277
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:55,076
to do something like that, and spit
in your coffee every day for a week.
278
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,678
Wait a minute.
279
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:01,460
"Receipt from Dale Gribble, Bounty Hunter.
280
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,025
"Borrowed: One dog.
281
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:06,531
"Purpose: Nab fugitive
at 27 Whistler Terrace.
282
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,294
"Signed: Dale Gribble, Bounty Hunter.�
283
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,369
Damn it, Dale.
284
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,434
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
285
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:14,973
[Dogs barking]
286
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,035
[Dogs snarling]
287
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,177
[Dogs whining]
288
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,387
DALE: Okay, Gribble, this is it.
289
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:36,094
Two days and four hours ago,
you were an unit rained, untested no-hat.
290
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,458
Now look at you.
291
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,031
[Mimicking martial-arts cries]
292
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,201
[Groans]
293
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,166
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
294
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,408
Freeze! Bounty hunter.
295
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,378
DALE: Freeze! Bounty hunter.
296
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,082
[Jazzy music playing on TV]
297
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,126
[Switches TV off]
298
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,752
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
299
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:11,830
Freeze!
300
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,094
[Both gasp]
301
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,262
HANK: What do I want? A left, a right?
I wish Ladybird were here.
302
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:22,338
HANK: She doesn't need a map.
PEGGY: That is it.
303
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:26,378
I am sick of you acting
like you care more about that dog...
304
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,676
-than you do about me, your human wife!
-What?
305
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,579
I don't care more about... Oh, no, Ladybird!
306
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,421
She's gonna dehydrate in there.
307
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:39,423
Between this sun
and the incredible airtight construction...
308
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:43,359
of an American-made truck,
I'd say she's got about five minutes.
309
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:45,897
-I'm going in.
-Are you loco?
310
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:50,094
As soon as you step foot out there,
the attack dogs will attack you to shreds.
311
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:53,763
I bet if I were stuck in a truck,
you would leave me there.
312
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:57,741
-How would you ever get stuck in a truck?
-I don't know.
313
00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,437
The handle could break off.
That's not the point.
314
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,878
All week I have watched you
jump through hoops...
315
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,746
trying to get Ladybird pregnant.
316
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:07,547
And you never jumped through
any hoops for me.
317
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:11,453
-What are you talking about?
-You never put a thermometer in my ear.
318
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,423
Of course not. Why would I?
319
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,863
-See? You admit you love her more.
-That's crazy.
320
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,622
I didn't do all that thermometer stuff
with you...
321
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,293
'cause, you know, where's the romance?
322
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,570
With Ladybird it doesn't matter.
She's only a dog.
323
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,141
She's not my wife. You're my wife.
324
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,540
I know, it's just...
325
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,603
Sometimes a woman needs to hear it.
326
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,416
Why would you be jealous of Ladybird?
327
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:40,213
You don't want to get pregnant, do you?
328
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,423
I don't know. Maybe.
329
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:49,088
I think I'd rather have another baby
right now than another puppy.
330
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,657
Me, too.
331
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,999
That's why I've been trying
to get Ladybird pregnant.
332
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:57,568
I don't know
what those men in that bar told you...
333
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,265
-but that is not how you have a baby.
-I know that, but...
334
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,333
Remember when we first got Ladybird?
335
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,305
[Smooching]
336
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,674
[Romantic instrumental music]
337
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,341
[Peggy giggling]
338
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,322
HANK: / always kind of believed
that playing with that puppy...
339
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:22,258
was the one thing
that finally relaxed me and my ure...
340
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,796
Well, me, enough for us to have a baby.
341
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:32,093
I just thought
if we had another puppy in the house...
342
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:34,536
you know...
343
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,208
Oh, Hank.
344
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:38,773
[Sentimental instrumental music]
345
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:40,846
[Peggy gasps]
346
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,245
Hang in there, Ladybird. Mama's coming.
347
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,949
DALE: Easy.
348
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:50,413
Easy.
349
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,924
I'm cool, man.
350
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:57,896
[Both gasp]
351
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:00,827
DALE: Easy.
352
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,234
Easy.
353
00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:04,866
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
354
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,535
[Dogs barking]
355
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:16,613
Be careful, Hank. Nine times out of ten,
they go right for the crotch.
356
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,377
And I see 10 dogs out there.
357
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,787
Come on, girl. It's all right.
358
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,457
Shake hands.
359
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,092
That's it. Everything's fine.
360
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,164
[Hank screams]
361
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,100
Why are your arms shaking,
Mr. Bounty Hunter...
362
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,137
if that is your real name?
363
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,605
-Getting tired?
-Yes, very tired.
364
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,966
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
365
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,575
-Nice hat.
-Back at you.
366
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,816
Jump, Ladybird.
367
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,885
[Peggy sighs in relief]
368
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,423
-Good girl.
-Okay, let's get the hell out of here!
369
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,254
Seat belts, please.
370
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,019
[Tires screeching]
371
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:05,886
[Bobby panting]
372
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,363
BOBBY: Here you go, Mr. Dauterive.
373
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:14,437
-Only eight?
-Those cost $26.
374
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,466
Okay, Bobby. Ask your question.
375
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,270
[Sighs]
376
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:24,076
Mr. Dauterive, am I adopted?
377
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,141
No.
378
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:30,084
Now, I'll tell you your middle name
if you get me a glass of milk.
379
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,281
BOBBY: Okay.
380
00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,294
[Soft instrumental music]
381
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,424
[Peggy laughing]
382
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:43,668
[Peggy gasps]
383
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,528
[Both laughing]
384
00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:50,772
[Smooching]
385
00:21:58,217 --> 00:22:00,083
[Jazzy music playing on TV]
386
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,438
More SpaghettiOs?
387
00:22:27,488 --> 00:22:32,038
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