All language subtitles for King of the Hill s02e20 junkie business.eng

[Theme song playing]

And the employee...

of the month is...

[Stomach grumbling]

STRICKLAND: Lookie here. I'm sorry, folks.

My breakfast burrito is fixing to say adios.

What say we finish this ceremony
in my back office?

MAN: Office?

[All groaning]

STRICKLAND: Our employee of the month
is Hank Hill.

Congratulations, Hank.
That's 41 times in a row.

Thank you, sir.

I wish you could see the expression
on my face.

STRICKLAND: Okey-doke.
HANK: But you can't.

STRICKLAND: Meeting adjourned, y'all.

[Toilet flushes]

EMPLOYEE: Finally.

One more thing, Hank.

We need to hire
a new Accessories Associate.

Well, I'll put together a shortlist
of candidates for you.

You're the quarterback of this panty raid.
You make the pick.

You want me to choose the next member
of Team Strickland?

This is a heck of an honor, Buck.

Don't let me down, Hank.

If you do, it'll be like spitting
in my face 41 times in a row.

-Are you married?
-My wife passed away two years ago.

That's good, Bobby.
Keep throwing me curve balls.

Ask another one.

Well, here's one
that gets at the heart of the matter.

We're all Christians here. How about you?

Hank, you can't ask that question
in an interview. It's against the law.

Hank, you can't ask that question
in an interview. It's against the law.

You can't ask about age, race,
religion, or sexual affiliation.

It's the legal equivalent
of asking a woman how much she weighs.

Why don't you just hire me, Dad?

That's good, son.
Keep throwing those curve balls.

If you could eat at Luly's
with one of the following, would it be:

A: Jesus.

B: Mohammed.

C: Golda Meir.

[Stuttering]

I don't eat at Luly's. They use lard.

HANK: Okay.

Mr. Harrington, you seem to have
a few gaps here in your work history.

Well...

'33 to '45...

FDR was in the White House.

So, I was on the welfare, you know.

And in the '60s, you had Kennedy...

and LBJ...

so I was on the welfare.

And then from '77 to '81...

Jimmy Carter, so I was on the welfare.

Dale, what're you doing here?

I have killed all the bugs in Arlen.

It is time for me to take on new challenges.

My resume.

"1984 to present:

"Gribble and Sons Propane,
Yuma, Arizona.�

Dale, I've known you
since we were in first grade.

You don't know me. I am unknowable.

[Sighing]

Mario Montalvo.

-My name is Maria.
-Oh, my!

I'm terribly sorry. You have to understand...

this job requires a certain comfort level
with barbecues.

So I just assumed this was a typo.

Let me double-check. Mario!

There is no man named Mario.
There is only I, a woman named Maria.

How do you like that?

As I walked through
your Accessories Department...

I could not help noticing
you feature the Wagner Char King.

-You know about the King?
-Dual side grills...

three center racks, 35,000 BTUs
of propane-powered fury.

As an Accessories Associate,
it is my job to know.

Well, your qualifications are impressive...

but I do have one last puzzler.

Ms. Montalvo, you're at the Troy Aikman
fantasy sports camp.

It's the toughest 14 days you'll ever love.

HANK: And on the bus ride home--
MARIA: Excuse me.

Who's Troy Aikman?

On the one hand,
she booted the Aikman question...

on the other,
she knew about the Char King.

When you say "she,�
are you talking about a woman?

Yes, Bill. Maria Montalvo.

Maria Montalvo.

I worked with her in Arizona.
She's no damn good.

Well, these days, you gotta be careful
about working with a girl... Woman.

Why, in the army, you could
get in big trouble for harassing a woman...

even if you're her superior officer.

I tell you what, you go to work
with a woman nowadays...

you gotta pull duty like a Kathleen Willey,
Slick Willie. Dang ol' Willy Wonka, wonk.

She's more qualified
than any other applicant.

But that only goes so far. I mean...

what are we gonna talk about?
Our feelings?

Peggy, there's something I've gotta
tell you. I interviewed a woman today.

Apparently, she's very handsome.

She's also extremely well-qualified,
and sharp as a tack.

But don't worry, I'm not gonna hire her.

Why would I worry? I feel for her.

If people had been afraid to hire me
because I'm pretty and smart...

I would have never gotten
where I am today.

[Hank sighing]

I just don't know what
the rules are anymore, Peggy.

If Bob Cecil made a big sale...

I could give him a pat on the back,
or something.

How can I do that with Maria Montalvo?

Please, honey.
Women are nothing to be afraid of.

Just give her a hug.
Just put your arms around her like this.

I don't know, Peg. What if she
gets her cheek up against mine, like this?

Well, in that case...

you can just start to struggle politely...

like this.

[Sweeping instrumental music]

[Peggy giggling]

[Sighing]

I'll keep your resume on file, Ms. Montalvo.

Hi, I came about your ad.
My name's Leon Petard.

Hey, Cowboys, all right!

Leon, you just answered
my first six questions.

There's just one more thing
I'd like to know.

What do you think of propane?

Well, sir...

I probably shouldn't say this
because it sounds kind of crazy...

but after God, country and family...

what I love most is propane
and propane paraphernalia.

Son, if that's crazy,
you've just walked into a funny farm.

Welcome to the team.

HANK: Leon's perfect, Peggy.

He's like Bobby
without all that stuff Bobby does.

What about that woman
you were gonna hire?

You said she was the most qualified
of the whole bunch.

Oh, you don't have to worry about that,
I passed her over.

-So, you were attracted to her.
-What?

You must think she's one hot tamale,
if you couldn't even have her in the office.

Peggy, I didn't hire her. She's gone.

I'll never see her again!

Except when you close your eyes
and kiss me. Is that what you're saying?

[Humming]

[Sighing]

HANK: Leon, where have you been?
You're over three hours late.

I wasn't late, I was early. I got here at...

-What time do we open?
-8:00 am.

Yeah, I got here at 7:00 am...

and you weren't here,
so I went to get some coffee.

But the waitress, it turns out
her dog was sick, so I thought:

"Hey, if I take her dog to the vet,
she might buy some propane.�

You know, from us.

So, there's this line at the vet
because of this farm accident.

They're trying to keep it quiet,
so you might not hear about it.

But here I am with a customer's dog,
and I just can't leave her.

So I promise
I'll never come to work early again.

Well, that sure is a long story.

Yeah, that's how you know it's true.

So, let's sell some gas!
Team Strickley rules!

[Leon whooping]

HANK: We work as a team
here at Strickland.

There are 15 of us, counting you.

15. What's this thing called again?

HANK: Actually, I haven't told you
about this grill yet, Leon.

It's called the Wagner Char King...

-and it's the crown jewel--
-Yes, Char King. I remember.

It's almost lunch time, right?

-Well, it's getting close, I guess.
-Great.

LEON: Hey, it's the Char King.

[Spanish music playing on TV]

[Old man gasping]

No, Dios mio!

Vaya con Dios.

Hey, Leon, you might want
to unwrap that sandwich now.

Lunch has been over for about 20 minutes.

Okay, coach.

"Vaya con Dios.�

[Leon laughing]

[Leon laughing]

Okay, then.

[Leon crying]

STRICKLAND: Hey, Hank,
how's your new hire doing?

I just think he's gonna work out great, sir.

I could have sworn I saw him
over by the trucks puking his guts out.

Well, he's pretty excited about
working in propane, sir.

But once he sells his first grill,
those highs and lows will smooth out.

Well, I hope they do.

Remember, Hank, he's wearing
the name Strickland over his man-teat.

[Telephone ringing]

T-Man?

"Strickland Propane.
Taste the heat, not the meat."�

Lord, no!

Hello.

Hello, Ms. Shaddock.
I want to sincerely apologize.

Our slogan is,
"Taste the meat, not the heat."

I hope our error has not
inconvenienced you.

Well, I hope in the future
you'll be a customer again.

"Taste the meat, not the heat."

"Taste the meat, not the heat."

"Meat," "heat,� "meat,� "heat."�

[Leon groaning]

[Hank sighing]

TV NARRATOR:
Fans of Mexican soap operas...

know him as the evil Monsignor Martinez...

but off-screen, this man of the cloth
makes cloth...

into his own line of casual pants.

Bobby, how would you like to help me out
around the shop for a few days?

I can't pay you,
but you can have all the snacks you want.

We've got fruit pies,
pretzels, all kinds of Newtons.

You had me at "fruit pies."�

HANK: Leon, this is Bobby.
He's gonna be helping you out today.

That's great, because
I am just bursting with ideas right now.

Okay, listen up.
I got a whole new filing plan.

Let's go!

LEON: Oh, God!

There's more files here
than there are stars in the universe.

This would go a lot faster if you helped.

I can't do this. You do it.

[Leon whimpering]

PEGGY: What's the matter?
You haven't even touched your marrow.

I have to do all the work because
Dad's new employee is a drug addict.

Bobby, Leon's a little slow on the draw,
but that doesn't mean he's on drugs.

You got to trust me on this.

When you've heard as many former
athletes lecture at your school as I have...

-you get to know all the signs.
-Wait.

You hired a drug addict instead
of that beautiful Chicana?

My God, Hank,
how badly did you want that woman?

Now, just hold on here.
Leon's credentials are top-notch...

even if they are from the nonprofit sector.

"Six months at Helping Hands Institute.
One year at Covenant Place.�

-Those are detox centers.
-Centers?

No, look right here. "Institute.� "Place."

Uncle Hank, you're in denial.

Yeah, Dad.

You're what Too Tall Jones called
"a codependent enabler.�

[Sighs]

Leon does do a lot of vomiting...

even for a new employee.

STRICKLAND: Now, Mrs. Throckmorton...

with our new electronic debit system,
you never even have to check your bill.

Oh, my, that does sound convenient.

STRICKLAND: We take the money
right out of your account.

[Giggling]

-What in the Sam Hill!
-Oh, no!

This is your new Accessories Associate?

Jeez, Hank, he's a drooling nincompoop.

Don't worry, sir. He's as good as gone.

Make sure you don't disgruntle him.

We don't want him showing up tomorrow
punching the clock with a .45.

You know, Leon,
maybe you don't have the tools...

that an Accessories Associate needs.

You need to find a job
you can do with your tools.

I've got a ratchet set I haven't pawned yet.

You have a lot of things
you can do with a good ratchet set.

Maybe you can work on trucks.

[Exclaiming]

I don't know what to say.

As your new chief mechanic,
what I'd like to do first is fire Enrique.

Leon, what I'm trying to say is,
you're a drug user...

and there's no place for you
at Strickland Propane.

-As of 5:00 p.m., you're fired.
-Oh, no!

Here. It's a rehab center.

Son, why don't you take the rest of the
afternoon off, and get yourself some help?

[Tires squealing]

Leon's in the parking lot,
and he looks disgruntled.

EMPLOYEES: Hit the deck!

[Employees shrieking]

[Hank gasping]

[Door slams]

I'm sorry I have to do this, coach.

ANTHONY: Hello, Mr. Hill.

Anthony Page, group leader,
One Last Chance House.

Are you aware that you
hired a drug addict?

I am now. That's why I fired him.

Oh, yeah. You're in trouble, all right.

It's against the law to fire this man.
He's a drug addict.

Are you sure you don't want to shoot me?

Thanks for the latte, Leon.

You have to re-hire this man, Mr. Hill.

Legally, drug addiction is a disability.

And now that Leon's in rehab,
the law prohibits you from firing him.

Rehab? Since when?

Since 4:30 p.m. yesterday afternoon.

And I wasn't officially fired till 5:00 p.m.

ANTHONY: This is the
Americans with Disabilities Act.

It ensures that no person,
no matter how disadvantaged...

how short or obese, or blind or gay,
or even stoned...

can be discriminated against,
once his healing has begun.

Hell, right now I'd kill
for a big fat blind gay guy...

if we could just get some
damn work done around here!

HANK: I can't believe this.

Well, I may be stuck with you,
but you're stuck with me, too.

And there's gonna be
some changes around here.

You will be here at 8:00 a.m. sharp
from now on.

8:00 a.m.?

Anthony?

8:00 a.m. will not work for Leon.
He's got withdrawal therapy till 11:00 a.m.

But then I take my methadone...

so I should be feeling pretty good
by the time I get here.

What? I'm not going to let you come
to work late...

all hopped up on goofanthol.

And he'll need to have the lights dimmed.

His pupils will be dilating pretty big
by 12:30 p.m.

What kind of game
are you trying to play here?

It's not a game, sir.

It's the law. And we win.

[Leon whooping]

Let's see.

"Any company
with 15 employees or more...

�"must make reasonable accommodations
for their disabled workers."

I can't believe I'm getting hog-tied
by a dope freak.

Well, of course,
you could have hired Maria Montalvo.

The only accommodation she would've
needed from you was a slobber-guard.

Now, if you can get her off your mind
for two seconds...

-maybe we can get some sleep.
-Oh, God.

Now, please.

That's great.

I'm gonna go throw up now, coach.

Hank, I got a bone to pick with you.

How come Jimi Hendrix
gets a futon in his work station?

Because he's disabled, Joe Jack.
It's all there in the fine print.

Come on. You've got propane to haul.

Honey, I'm too mad to drive a truck.

It's almost like
my anger is handicapping me.

Joe Jack.

[Grunting]

[Entrance bell chimes]

Customer. Jason, can you get that?

Sorry, Hank, I suffer
from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

If I get out of this chair,
Garth Brooks is gonna die.

HANK: Joe Jack,
can you get that customer?

[Laughing]

Much too angry, honey.

HANK: Melinda, a little help, please?

[Groaning]

-Too bloated.
-Heck, I'll do it myself.

[Grunting]

[Grunting]

What the hey is going on here?

[Debbie shushing]

It's Leon.

Now all my employees want in on that
damn Americans with Disabilities Act.

PEGGY: She shushed me.
HANK: Debbie's got the yuppie flu...

and Hector claims
he has something called priapism.

He wants a roomier work station,
and a view of Debbie.

Nobody shushes me.
Hank, you cannot stand by...

while these greedy pigs suck the life
out of Strickland Propane.

Anybody's disabled
if you think hard enough.

Hey, if we catch this guy
doing drugs on the job...

we can fire him. So, here's the deal.

Put on your fancy clothes,
hop a Greyhound to Dallas...

and buy every pill, pipe,
powder you can find, see?

You spread the stuff around
like roach traps...

then we'll get that boy hooked again.

With all due respect, sir,
I have a better plan.

Hello, Mr. Hill, I came as quick as I could.
From your message it sounded...

as if you'd become the victim
of some discrimination.

That's right, Anthony.

You see, I recently came to realize
that I, too, suffer from a disability.

It's called G.W.S.

Good Worker Syndrome.

I get sick to my stomach...

unless everyone around me
is giving a hundred and ten percent.

The symptoms include
pride, responsibility...

and a feverish enthusiasm.

It used to be a common condition
among Americans.

[Exclaiming in disgust]

People like you who abuse the system
ruin it for the rest of us:

The truly disabled.

I'm leaving. Call me
if he gives you any more trouble, Leon.

Don't call me Leon anymore.
That's the name I used drugs with.

From now on, I want to be called...

-Hank Hill.
-No!

That's too far.
I cannot accommodate that. I won't.

It's not up to you, Hank. It's up to Hank.

This man is not your slave.
You don't get to name him.

Get yourself a bus ticket to Dallas.

I hate to do this,
but you leave me no choice.

There's only room for one Hank Hill
at Strickland Propane.

- I quit.
-What?

-What am I gonna do now?
-Whatever you want, Buck.

With me gone,
you're down to 14 employees.

And that makes this your business,
not the government's.

[Strickland exclaiming]

Wait.

-Hot dang, Hank! You've done it!
-Thank you, sir.

Not you, you're fired.

Now Strickland's just small enough
to skirt the law.

You all get back to work.

STRICKLAND:
Debbie, you just lie right there.

Well, son, you pulled our wieners
out of the campfire just in time.

[Laughing]

Well, I guess I did, Buck.

Yeah, so let's get this over with.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Proudly serving as assistant manager
of Strickland Propane.

Welcome back, son. You're re-hired.

After a six-month probation period...

you will be eligible
for vacation and benefits.

-Probation?
-Yeah.

You gotta understand my position here,
last couple of Hank Hills I had.

One of them was a drug go,
the other quit on me.

Say howdy to
our new Accessories Associate.

I am so happy
to be working with you, Hank.

[Shuddering]

Peggy's in the parking lot.
She looks disgruntled.

[Tense instrumental music]

[Hank screaming]

MELINDA: Are we starting
a recycling program?

[Stuttering]

Not as such. No, it's...

It's for...

Have you ever been to the doctor,
and the doctor gave you a cup?

Yes, but that was to pee in.

[Laughing nervously]

Yeah.

HANK: You can go now.

JASON: Hank, if you don't give me another
cup, the Oak Ridge Boys are gonna die.

LEON: Oh, no!

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