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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,938 --> 00:00:05,973 ALTHOUGH LATIN AMERICAN WOMEN HAVE PRACTICALLY ACHIEVED... 2 00:00:06,042 --> 00:00:08,075 EXCUSE ME, VAN. HEY! 3 00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:11,957 EXCUSE ME, VAN! I'M TRYING TO DUST THE FURNITURE! 4 00:00:11,981 --> 00:00:15,882 WELL, CAN YOU DO IT LATER? I'M WATCHING THIS SHOW ABOUT WOMEN'S RIGHTS. 5 00:00:22,358 --> 00:00:24,858 NOW, JUST RUB YOUR SOCKS ON THE TABLE. 6 00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:29,396 WELL, ALL RIGHT, BUT THIS COUNTS AS ONE OF MY CHORES. 7 00:00:31,067 --> 00:00:33,767 - HEY, GUYS. - HEY, BROCK. WHERE'S JAKE? 8 00:00:33,836 --> 00:00:38,004 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHERE'S JAKE? WHAT I MEAN IS, WE WERE MARRIED ONCE AND HAD A SON. 9 00:00:38,073 --> 00:00:40,274 AT THIS TIME, DO YOU KNOW HIS LOCATION? 10 00:00:40,343 --> 00:00:42,275 WAIT A SECOND. HE'S NOT HERE? 11 00:00:42,345 --> 00:00:45,379 I WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK HIM UP AND TAKE HIM OVER TO TAMMY ANDERSON'S HOUSE. 12 00:00:45,448 --> 00:00:49,349 NO. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK HIM UP AT TAMMY ANDERSON'S HOUSE AND BRING HIM HERE. 13 00:00:54,023 --> 00:00:55,956 HEY. HEY. 14 00:00:56,025 --> 00:00:59,226 JAKE, HOW'D YOU GET HOME? TAMMY ANDERSON'S DAD GAVE ME A RIDE. 15 00:00:59,294 --> 00:01:02,896 AND ALL THE WAY HOME, HE WONDERED HOW SOMEONE FORGETS THEIR KID. 16 00:01:06,536 --> 00:01:08,536 ME TOO. 17 00:01:08,604 --> 00:01:12,139 HEY, I'M SORRY, BUDDY. YOUR MOM ASKED ME TO DO IT. I GUESS I KINDA BLEW IT. 18 00:01:12,208 --> 00:01:15,809 THAT'S OKAY. HEY, TAMMY'S MOM LET US PAINT. 19 00:01:15,878 --> 00:01:18,278 LET'S HAVE A LOOK. 20 00:01:18,347 --> 00:01:21,281 OH, HEY. DID ELIZABETH DO THAT? 21 00:01:23,152 --> 00:01:26,487 NO, HONEY. THAT WAS... THAT WAS JAKE. 22 00:01:26,555 --> 00:01:29,156 RECENTLY? 23 00:01:31,093 --> 00:01:33,338 IT'S A BOY, WAITING ALONE AT A BUS STOP. 24 00:01:33,362 --> 00:01:35,262 I CALL IT WHERE'S DAD? 25 00:01:36,898 --> 00:01:39,010 SEE YA LATER, DAD. YEAH. 26 00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:41,035 BROCK, YOU'RE A GOOD FATHER, 27 00:01:41,103 --> 00:01:44,271 BUT LATELY YOU JUST HAVEN'T BEEN SPENDING ANY TIME WITH THE BOY. 28 00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:46,340 I'M SORRY, BUT I'VE BEEN SWAMPED. 29 00:01:46,409 --> 00:01:50,076 WITH TRYING TO GET THE DENTAL PRACTICE BACK ON ITS FEET AND JUGGLING TWO FAMILIES, 30 00:01:50,145 --> 00:01:53,147 GEEZ, I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD ANY BROCK TIME. 31 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:58,952 AS I RECALL, IT'S BROCK TIME THAT GOT YOU TWO FAMILIES. 32 00:02:00,722 --> 00:02:04,691 I'M JUST WORRIED THAT IT'S STARTING TO AFFECT JAKE. 33 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,960 YOU KNOW, SHE'S RIGHT, MR. H. 34 00:02:07,028 --> 00:02:10,430 YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT SONG ABOUT THE BOY AND HIS DAD, 35 00:02:10,499 --> 00:02:13,333 WITH THE DOG AND THE CRADLE AND THE RUBBER SPOON. 36 00:02:13,402 --> 00:02:16,971 YOU SEE, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, 37 00:02:17,039 --> 00:02:20,541 HE'S GONNA BE GROWN, MARRIED, WITH A KID OF HIS OWN. 38 00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:23,276 WON'T CALL AS OFTEN AS YOU'D LIKE, AND... 39 00:02:27,449 --> 00:02:29,616 SORRY! 40 00:02:29,685 --> 00:02:32,519 I GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE. 41 00:02:32,588 --> 00:02:35,255 GREAT. NOW THE OTHER ONE'S GOT IT. 42 00:02:38,427 --> 00:02:39,993 WHAT'S UP WITH VAN? 43 00:02:40,062 --> 00:02:42,641 THE SAME THING HAPPENED WITH HIM AND HIS DAD. THEY WERE NEVER CLOSE. 44 00:02:42,665 --> 00:02:45,343 HE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT, BUT HE'S GETTING BETTER NOW. 45 00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,868 CHEYENNE, I NEED YOU! 46 00:02:49,338 --> 00:02:51,738 HOLD ON, BABY! 47 00:02:53,809 --> 00:02:56,910 WELL, TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF. I NEED TO FINISH THE TABLE. 48 00:03:02,117 --> 00:03:03,817 HA, HEY! 49 00:03:03,885 --> 00:03:06,653 ♪ MY ROOTS ARE PLANTED IN THE PAST ♪ 50 00:03:06,722 --> 00:03:09,089 ♪ THOUGH MY LIFE IS CHANGING FAST ♪ 51 00:03:09,158 --> 00:03:13,159 ♪ WHO I AM IS WHO I WANT TO BE ♪ 52 00:03:13,228 --> 00:03:15,962 ♪ A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TOO HARD ♪ 53 00:03:16,031 --> 00:03:18,699 ♪ WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS ♪ 54 00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:20,333 ♪ WITH GENTLE HANDS ♪ 55 00:03:20,402 --> 00:03:22,269 ♪ AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER ♪ 56 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:28,909 ♪ I'M A SURVIVOR ♪♪ 57 00:03:34,950 --> 00:03:37,551 ♪ SHE ATE HER LUNCH SO SADLY ♪ 58 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,620 ♪ SO ALONE, SO ALONE ♪ 59 00:03:39,689 --> 00:03:41,955 ♪ JUST EATIN' HER LUNCH ♪ 60 00:03:42,024 --> 00:03:44,457 ♪ ALL ALONE ♪ 61 00:03:44,526 --> 00:03:48,228 ♪ DRINKIN' HER WATER THIRSTY FOR LOVE ♪ 62 00:03:48,297 --> 00:03:51,598 ♪ ALL ALONE, SO ALONE ♪ 63 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:55,702 OKAY! GET $20 OUT OF MY PURSE AND GO TO THE MALL. 64 00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:59,273 ♪ GOIN' TO THE MALL 'CAUSE HER MOM SAID OKAY SAID OKAY ♪ 65 00:03:59,341 --> 00:04:01,274 - GET OUT! - ♪ YES, SHE DID ♪♪ 66 00:04:01,343 --> 00:04:03,276 AH! 67 00:04:06,548 --> 00:04:09,528 REBA, I DID IT. I'M GONNA BE SPENDING MORE TIME WITH JAKE. 68 00:04:09,552 --> 00:04:12,786 I AM GONNA COACH HIM IN FOOTBALL. ISN'T THAT GREAT? 69 00:04:12,855 --> 00:04:15,800 - ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT TACKLE FOOTBALL? - REBA, THIS IS TEXAS. 70 00:04:15,824 --> 00:04:18,391 YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T TACKLE YOU RIGHT NOW. 71 00:04:22,464 --> 00:04:25,198 I DON'T WANT HIM TO PLAY TACKLE FOOTBALL. HE COULD GET HURT. 72 00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:27,434 HE'S ONE OF THE SMALLEST KIDS IN HIS CLASS. 73 00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:29,836 REBA DOES HAVE A POINT. 74 00:04:29,905 --> 00:04:33,640 I MEAN, I WAS THE ONLY GIRL ON MY SIXTH-GRADE FOOTBALL TEAM, 75 00:04:33,709 --> 00:04:36,543 AND I ATE BOYS LIKE JAKE FOR BREAKFAST. 76 00:04:39,848 --> 00:04:43,883 WHICH MAKES IT ALL THE MORE IMPORTANT THAT HE LEARN NOT TO LET HIS SIZE STOP HIM. 77 00:04:43,952 --> 00:04:47,987 COME ON, REBA. A KID LIVING WITH HIS MOM? TURN HIM INTO A MAMA'S BOY. 78 00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,092 JAKE'S NOT A MAMA'S BOY. 79 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:55,162 HEY, MOM! WHERE'S THE SEWING KIT? 80 00:04:57,099 --> 00:04:59,433 IT'S WHERE YOU LEFT IT. OH! 81 00:05:00,569 --> 00:05:02,703 HEY, TOUGH GUYS SEW TOO, YOU KNOW. 82 00:05:04,774 --> 00:05:08,041 LOOK, REBA. TONS OF KIDS PLAY FOOTBALL, AND THEY DON'T GET HURT. 83 00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:11,478 IT'D DO HIM A WORLD OF GOOD TO GET A LITTLE DIRTY, MIX IT UP SOME. 84 00:05:11,547 --> 00:05:13,547 OOH, BROCK HAS A POINT. 85 00:05:13,616 --> 00:05:18,151 WHEN I PLAYED FOOTBALL, I GOT HIT IN THE HEAD ALL THE TIME, AND IT DIDN'T AFFECT ME. 86 00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:24,524 SOMEBODY GET THE PHONE! 87 00:05:24,593 --> 00:05:28,061 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF JAKE WANTS TO PLAY FOOTBALL. 88 00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:32,099 TELL YOU WHAT. WHY DON'T WE JUST ASK HIM? JAKE, COME OVER HERE, KILLER. 89 00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:34,167 WHAT'S UP? LISTEN, PAL. 90 00:05:34,236 --> 00:05:37,237 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A GREAT TIME PLAYING FOOTBALL... 91 00:05:37,306 --> 00:05:40,573 AND BEING COACHED BY NONE OTHER THAN YOUR EVER-LOVIN' DAD? 92 00:05:40,642 --> 00:05:44,310 JAKE, YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY FOOTBALL AND GET ALL SWEATY... 93 00:05:44,379 --> 00:05:47,414 AND HAVE PEOPLE SLAPPIN' YA UPSIDE THE HEAD ALL DAY LONG, DO YA? 94 00:05:47,483 --> 00:05:51,719 JAKEY, YOU KNOW, ON THE ONE HAND, YOU'D HAVE GIRLS CHEERING FOR YOU. 95 00:05:51,787 --> 00:05:54,854 AND ON THE OTHER HAND, POSSIBLE HEAD INJURY. 96 00:05:56,491 --> 00:05:59,559 ALTHOUGH, HONEY, I PLAYED AS A KID, AND I'M FINE. 97 00:06:01,730 --> 00:06:04,631 SOMEBODY LET THAT CAT OUT! 98 00:06:07,503 --> 00:06:09,870 I WANNA PLAY FOOTBALL. YES, THAT'S MY BOY! 99 00:06:09,938 --> 00:06:12,272 ALL RIGHT. WE'RE GONNA START WORKOUTS FIRST THING TOMORROW. 100 00:06:12,341 --> 00:06:15,042 COOL. I CAN'T WAIT TO DECORATE MY HELMET. 101 00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:21,882 IF HE WANTS TO DECORATE HIS HELMET, YOU LET HIM. 102 00:06:23,619 --> 00:06:25,552 HUH. 103 00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:30,171 YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. 104 00:06:33,695 --> 00:06:35,696 WHAT'D YOU SAY? 105 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,735 GEEZ! I WAS AGREEING WITH YOU. 106 00:06:49,845 --> 00:06:53,547 OH, HEY, REBA. HERE'S A SPORT JAKE'S NOT TOO SMALL TO PLAY. 107 00:06:53,615 --> 00:06:56,550 ORIGAMI. 108 00:06:56,618 --> 00:07:00,219 THE ANCIENT JAPANESE ART OF FOLDING PAPER. 109 00:07:00,288 --> 00:07:03,924 HE FOLDED A TOWEL AT OUR HOUSE ONCE. NOBODY GOT HURT. 110 00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:08,495 ANY CHANCE YOU COULD FOLD YOUR LIPS? 111 00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:10,564 OH. 112 00:07:10,632 --> 00:07:12,932 HEY. WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE IS HE? 113 00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:15,335 AH, YOU GOT NOTHIN' TO WORRY ABOUT, REBA. 114 00:07:15,404 --> 00:07:18,071 OH, THANK GOODNESS. SO HE'S OKAY? 115 00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:21,975 HE WAS HORRIBLE! 116 00:07:22,044 --> 00:07:25,145 OH, GOD LOVE HIM. HE STUNK ON ICE. 117 00:07:25,214 --> 00:07:27,881 BUT HE'S NOT HURT, RIGHT? NO, REBA. NO. 118 00:07:27,950 --> 00:07:30,683 YOU CAN'T GET HURT IN THE FETAL POSITION. 119 00:07:33,188 --> 00:07:36,067 TO BE HONEST, IT WAS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING. 120 00:07:36,091 --> 00:07:39,526 PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF HIM. WELL, OF COURSE NOT. 121 00:07:39,595 --> 00:07:42,028 DID YOU ROLL YOUR EYES? 122 00:07:42,097 --> 00:07:44,263 NO, I DIDN'T, 123 00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:47,000 NOT EVEN WHEN HE PUT THE DANDELION IN HIS HELMET. 124 00:07:50,706 --> 00:07:53,540 BUT, HONEY, YOU CAN STILL PUT HIM ON THE TEAM, CAN'T YOU? 125 00:07:53,608 --> 00:07:55,654 IT'S NOT UP TO ME, BARBRA JEAN. 126 00:07:55,678 --> 00:07:57,738 THE PARKS COMMISSION MAKES THE CUTS, AND JAKE 127 00:07:57,762 --> 00:07:59,846 IS GONNA BE THE FIRST TO GO, POOR LITTLE GUY. 128 00:07:59,915 --> 00:08:04,551 - WELL, WHERE IS HE? - LAST I SAW OF HIM, HE WAS CHASING A BUTTERFLY. 129 00:08:09,791 --> 00:08:12,559 OR IT WAS CHASING HIM. I COULDN'T LOOK. 130 00:08:15,964 --> 00:08:18,298 OH, JAKE, BABY! HEY, MOM. 131 00:08:19,635 --> 00:08:21,567 YOU NEED ANYTHING? 132 00:08:21,637 --> 00:08:24,638 UH, CHOCOLATE MILK, A COOKIE, SOMETHING? 133 00:08:24,706 --> 00:08:27,746 YOU WANNA COME OVER TO OUR PLACE AND FOLD SOME TOWELS? 134 00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:36,516 NO, THANKS. HEY, DAD. I HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY. YEAH, ME TOO, BUDDY. 135 00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,518 AND THE BEST PART IS, 136 00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:41,687 WE GET TO SPEND EVERY SATURDAY TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON. 137 00:08:44,927 --> 00:08:48,962 SURE WE WILL, JAKE. SURE WE WILL. 138 00:08:50,065 --> 00:08:52,532 I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME, BARBRA JEAN... 139 00:08:55,337 --> 00:08:58,437 - SO, JAKE, YOU REALLY HAD A GOOD TIME TODAY, HUH? - YEAH. 140 00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:02,075 REALLY? I MEAN, YOU COULD JUST SPEND SATURDAYS WITH ME. 141 00:09:02,144 --> 00:09:06,779 DON'T BE JEALOUS, MOM. A BOY HAS TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS FATHER TOO. 142 00:09:08,317 --> 00:09:10,950 IT DOESN'T MEAN I LOVE YOU ANY LESS. 143 00:09:14,589 --> 00:09:16,734 THIS IS HORRIBLE, BARBRA JEAN. I KNOW! 144 00:09:16,758 --> 00:09:20,326 BECAUSE OF ME, THAT LITTLE OLD BOY'S HEART'S GONNA BE BROKEN. 145 00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:22,607 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA SAY THIS, 146 00:09:22,631 --> 00:09:25,910 BUT SOMEHOW OR ANOTHER, WE GOTTA GET THAT BOY ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM. 147 00:09:25,934 --> 00:09:28,968 OKAY, REBA. I'LL COACH HIM. 148 00:09:31,006 --> 00:09:33,952 NOT YOU, BARBRA JEAN. SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOIN'. 149 00:09:33,976 --> 00:09:36,136 HE'S NOT TRYIN' OUT FOR MASCOT. 150 00:09:38,847 --> 00:09:42,315 I'M JUST SAYIN', I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT MY DAD AND I HAVE TALKED. 151 00:09:42,384 --> 00:09:46,086 HONEY, DRIVING BY HIS HOUSE AND HONKING YOUR HORN IS NOT TALKING. 152 00:09:47,722 --> 00:09:51,124 HE KNOWS MY HONK. 153 00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:54,994 - VAN, I NEED YOU TO COACH JAKE. - I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT HIM PLAYING FOOTBALL. 154 00:09:55,063 --> 00:09:58,376 I DIDN'T, BUT HE FEELS IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH HIS DAD. 155 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,169 SO YOU WANT ME TO TEACH HIM THAT THE ONLY WAY TO WIN HIS FATHER'S LOVE... 156 00:10:02,237 --> 00:10:04,637 IS BY PLAYING SOME SILLY GAME? 157 00:10:04,706 --> 00:10:06,751 'CAUSE LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MRS. H. 158 00:10:06,775 --> 00:10:10,610 YOU CAN RUN AROUND ALL YOU WANT, AND IT'S NOT GONNA... 159 00:10:11,746 --> 00:10:13,826 I WON'T DO IT. 160 00:10:13,882 --> 00:10:16,249 SOMEONE'S GOTTA BREAK THE CYCLE! 161 00:10:18,086 --> 00:10:21,187 I THINK HE'S DOIN' WAY BETTER WITH THIS. 162 00:10:22,891 --> 00:10:25,559 CHEYENNE, I NEED YOU! 163 00:10:27,228 --> 00:10:29,228 RIGHT BEHIND YOU, BABY! 164 00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:34,106 SO, I BET SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOIN'... 165 00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:37,537 IS LOOKIN' PRETTY ATTRACTIVE RIGHT NOW. 166 00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:41,074 - OH, GO ANSWER THE PHONE. - OH, I KNEW IT! 167 00:10:52,921 --> 00:10:55,555 FORTY-NINE, 50. 168 00:10:55,624 --> 00:10:58,825 READY OR NOT, HERE COMES DADDY. 169 00:10:58,894 --> 00:11:00,827 WHERE'S ELIZABETH? 170 00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:03,563 WHERE'S ELIZABETH? 171 00:11:06,969 --> 00:11:08,902 ELIZABETH! 172 00:11:08,971 --> 00:11:11,404 HONEY! 173 00:11:11,474 --> 00:11:13,473 HONEY, WHERE ARE YOU? 174 00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:16,376 OH, THERE YOU ARE. COME HERE. 175 00:11:16,445 --> 00:11:19,947 OH, YOU SCARED DADDY. DON'T DO THAT. 176 00:11:20,015 --> 00:11:23,216 I SHOULD ONLY COUNT TO 10 NEXT TIME. 177 00:11:23,285 --> 00:11:26,019 VAN, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? YOU WERE YELLING. 178 00:11:26,088 --> 00:11:30,357 IT WA... IT WAS FINE. UH, ELIZABETH JUST GOT SCARED, BUT DADDY MADE EVERYTHING OKAY. 179 00:11:30,426 --> 00:11:32,426 OH, YOU GO INSIDE NOW. 180 00:11:32,494 --> 00:11:35,996 YES, YOU THINK HE'S A FREAK NOW, WAIT TILL YOU START DATING. 181 00:11:36,064 --> 00:11:40,066 OH, YEAH. 182 00:11:41,804 --> 00:11:44,037 DATING? 183 00:11:46,175 --> 00:11:50,410 YEAH, SHE'S GONNA GROW UP AND START DATING. 184 00:11:53,315 --> 00:11:55,415 SIR! 185 00:11:55,484 --> 00:11:58,551 YOU WANNA GET OFF THE PRACTICE FIELD, PLEASE? 186 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:02,222 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN'? WAIT. YOU'RE GONNA TRAIN JAKE? 187 00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:04,224 HEY, SOMEBODY HAS TO. 188 00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:06,124 SHE MIGHT NOT BE THE MOST QUALIFIED, BUT SHE 189 00:12:06,148 --> 00:12:07,961 DOESN'T BURST INTO TEARS EVERY TWO MINUTES. 190 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,135 AND I HAPPEN TO BE EXTREMELY QUALIFIED. 191 00:12:15,203 --> 00:12:19,006 AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, I COACHED FOOTBALL PROFESSIONALLY FOR A YEAR... 192 00:12:19,074 --> 00:12:22,142 AT GATESVILLE WOMEN'S PRISON. 193 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,247 WE WOULD HAVE WON THE TEXAS STATE PRISON TOURNAMENT, 194 00:12:27,316 --> 00:12:29,817 EXCEPT MY QUARTERBACK WAS SHOT TRYING TO ESCAPE. 195 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:34,785 IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THINGS UP, WHY DON'T 196 00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:37,157 YOU MAKE THINGS UP THAT MAKE YOU SOUND GOOD? 197 00:12:39,462 --> 00:12:42,029 WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO DO THIS? 198 00:12:42,097 --> 00:12:45,299 AFTER I MAKE THE TEAM, I'LL JUST PRACTICE WITH DAD AND THE OTHER KIDS. 199 00:12:45,367 --> 00:12:48,935 YOU BET. WE'RE JUST MAKING EXTRA SURE THAT THAT HAPPENS. 200 00:12:49,004 --> 00:12:52,572 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? EVERYBODY THAT TRIES OUT GETS ON THE TEAM, DON'T THEY? 201 00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:58,178 WELL, UM... NOT EXACTLY, NO. 202 00:12:58,247 --> 00:13:00,025 DON'T YOU WORRY, JAKEY. 203 00:13:00,049 --> 00:13:03,550 IF I CAN TURN LITTLE ARSON ANNIE INTO A TOP-NOTCH RUNNING BACK, 204 00:13:03,618 --> 00:13:06,019 I CAN HELP YOU. 205 00:13:06,088 --> 00:13:09,857 BUT I THOUGHT EVERYBODY MADE THE TEAM. I'M NOT AS GOOD AS THOSE OTHER KIDS. 206 00:13:09,925 --> 00:13:14,661 THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S WHY WE'RE OUT HERE WITH... COACH CUCKOO. 207 00:13:16,598 --> 00:13:21,101 THIS IS BAD. I'M THE WORST GUY OUT THERE, AND TWO OF THOSE GUYS ARE GIRLS. 208 00:13:21,169 --> 00:13:26,039 OKAY, FIRST OFF, LET'S LOSE THE SEXISM. COME ON. LOOK. 209 00:13:26,108 --> 00:13:30,176 EVEN IF, BY SOME CHANCE, YOU DON'T MAKE THE TEAM, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER. 210 00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:33,213 HONEY, THERE'S A LOT OF OTHER THINGS THAT YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT. 211 00:13:33,282 --> 00:13:36,482 BUT DAD DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THOSE THINGS. OH, YES, HE DOES. 212 00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:39,797 NO, HE DOESN'T! NOT LIKE HE CARES ABOUT FOOTBALL. 213 00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:42,221 AND I CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL. 214 00:13:42,290 --> 00:13:45,725 WHEN I DON'T MAKE THE TEAM, HE'S GONNA WISH HE HAD ANOTHER SON. 215 00:13:46,996 --> 00:13:51,064 OH, JAKE, HONEY! HE DOES HAVE ANOTHER SON. 216 00:14:00,175 --> 00:14:02,175 I KNOW HOW THE KID FEELS. 217 00:14:02,244 --> 00:14:04,289 OH, KNOCK IT OFF. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. 218 00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:07,058 OH, YES, I DO. I NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER EITHER. 219 00:14:07,082 --> 00:14:09,082 YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE, YOU KNOW THAT? 220 00:14:09,151 --> 00:14:11,151 YOU'RE SO BUSY WITH YOUR PITY PARTY... 221 00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:13,920 THAT YOU CAN'T KEEP THE SAME THING FROM HAPPENING TO HIM. 222 00:14:13,989 --> 00:14:17,156 THIS IS A SENSITIVE ISSUE FOR ME. 223 00:14:19,561 --> 00:14:21,495 OKAY, LOOK, VAN. 224 00:14:21,563 --> 00:14:25,065 I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR DAD, BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 225 00:14:25,134 --> 00:14:28,335 - MY LITTLE BOY IS HURTING NOW. - WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT? 226 00:14:28,403 --> 00:14:30,937 HELP HIM! HELP HIM MAKE THE TEAM. 227 00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:35,375 MY DAD NEVER HELPED ME. HE NEVER HELPED ME MAKE THE TEAM. 228 00:14:35,443 --> 00:14:37,843 HE NEVER CAME TO THE TRYOUTS. 229 00:14:38,981 --> 00:14:42,541 YOU CAN'T IMPRESS SOMEBODY WHO ISN'T THERE. 230 00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:48,355 BE STRONG, VAN. BE STRONG. 231 00:14:50,425 --> 00:14:52,425 ALL RIGHT, DANG IT! I'LL DO IT. 232 00:14:52,494 --> 00:14:55,896 BUT NO HALFWAY. THAT BOY IS MINE. THANK YOU, VAN. 233 00:14:55,964 --> 00:14:59,699 HE'S GONNA NEED A NEW PAIR OF SHOES, LOTS OF WATER... 234 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,802 AND A PAN OF FUDGE BROWNIES. 235 00:15:01,870 --> 00:15:04,604 - BROWNIES? - NO QUESTIONS! 236 00:15:04,673 --> 00:15:08,775 I'VE GOTTA TURN A BOY INTO A MAN, AND I GET HUNGRY. 237 00:15:17,385 --> 00:15:20,019 ALL RIGHT. THIS TIME, RUN A SKINNY POST. 238 00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:22,154 ON TWO. HUT, HUT. 239 00:15:24,392 --> 00:15:26,325 HEY. 240 00:15:27,562 --> 00:15:30,397 GO, JAKE. GO, JAKE. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. 241 00:15:30,465 --> 00:15:32,933 IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. RAISE THE ROOF. 242 00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,001 MICHAEL JACKSON. 243 00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:41,941 ALL RIGHT. WAY TO GO, BUD. THAT'S, LIKE, 10 IN A ROW YOU'VE CAUGHT. 244 00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:46,846 I THOUGHT IT WAS 11. I DON'T COUNT THE LAST ONE BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU DANCED. 245 00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:48,915 NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. 246 00:15:48,983 --> 00:15:51,451 ALL RIGHT. SO WE'VE GONE OVER PASSING: A-PLUS. 247 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,520 A-PLUS. 248 00:15:53,589 --> 00:15:56,923 NOW THE ONLY THING LEFT IS THE FUN PART... HITTING. 249 00:15:56,992 --> 00:15:59,659 WHAT ABOUT KICKING? 250 00:16:01,930 --> 00:16:05,031 KICKING? 251 00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:08,535 KICKERS ARE LITTLE WIMPS WHO ARE AFRAID TO GET HIT, JAKE. 252 00:16:08,604 --> 00:16:10,703 I THINK I WANNA BE A KICKER. 253 00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:14,273 NO, YOU DON'T. DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? HITTING IS THE FUN PART. 254 00:16:14,342 --> 00:16:16,543 NOT WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE GETTING HIT. 255 00:16:16,612 --> 00:16:20,113 WAIT A MINUTE. IS THIS... IS THIS WHY YOU DID SO BAD THE OTHER DAY? 256 00:16:20,181 --> 00:16:22,416 YOU'RE AFRAID OF GETTING HIT? YEAH. 257 00:16:22,484 --> 00:16:25,952 I ALSO DON'T WANT TO BE LIT ON FIRE. I'M WEIRD. 258 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,834 I BET YOU THINK I'M A BIG BABY. 259 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:33,627 NO. NO. NO. LISTEN. WHEN I WAS PLAYING, I WAS AFRAID OF GETTING HIT TOO. 260 00:16:33,695 --> 00:16:36,741 NO, YOU WEREN'T. OH, YES, I WAS. EVERYBODY'S AFRAID OF GETTING HIT. 261 00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:38,765 BUT YOU CAN USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. 262 00:16:38,834 --> 00:16:41,835 SEE, YOU NEED TO HIT THEM FIRST, SO THEY GET SCARED FIRST. 263 00:16:41,904 --> 00:16:44,303 NOW, WE'RE GONNA DO A PLAY RIGHT NOW, 264 00:16:44,372 --> 00:16:46,540 BUT WE'RE GONNA DO IT IN SLOW MOTION. 265 00:16:46,608 --> 00:16:50,177 I WANT YOU TO TRY TO HIT ME BEFORE I HIT YOU. OKAY? GOT IT. 266 00:16:50,245 --> 00:16:53,312 ON GO. READY, SET, GO. 267 00:16:53,382 --> 00:16:56,583 HEY! YOU SAID SLOW MOTION! 268 00:16:56,652 --> 00:16:58,952 OH, I'M SORRY. OKAY. I MESSED UP. LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN. 269 00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:02,723 OKAY. HERE WE GO. READY, SET, GO. 270 00:17:02,791 --> 00:17:05,391 HEY, NO FAIR. OH, I'M SORRY. ONE MORE TIME. 271 00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:08,227 READY, SET, GO. VAN, STOP IT! 272 00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:13,099 WHOA! 273 00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:16,503 THAT'S RIGHT, JAKE. "WHOA." 274 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,873 I LIKE THAT FEELING. 275 00:17:19,941 --> 00:17:22,676 - YOU STILL WANNA BE A KICKER? - I WANNA HIT A KICKER! 276 00:17:22,744 --> 00:17:24,944 LESSON OVER. 277 00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:28,526 YEAH! ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. CUT IT OUT. 278 00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,483 NO! GET OFF ME. 279 00:17:30,552 --> 00:17:32,485 NO. JAKE. 280 00:17:32,554 --> 00:17:36,455 YEAH, YOU BETTER WALK AWAY. THAT'S RIGHT. OH, YEAH. 281 00:17:43,098 --> 00:17:47,033 ♪ SNAP, WHAT'S THAT IT'S THAT LITTLE BOY'S LEG ♪ 282 00:17:47,101 --> 00:17:50,970 ♪ CRACK, OH, MY IT'S THAT LITTLE BOY'S ARM ♪♪ 283 00:17:51,039 --> 00:17:53,706 KYRA! KNOCK IT OFF. 284 00:17:53,775 --> 00:17:56,710 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY, AND YOU ARE SO NOT. 285 00:17:56,778 --> 00:17:59,112 YEAH? WELL, YOU THINK YOU'RE SO PRETTY, AND YOU SO ARE. 286 00:17:59,181 --> 00:18:01,181 WELL, SHUT UP, KYRA! 287 00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:07,186 - HEY. - SO, HONEY, WHAT HAPPENED? 288 00:18:07,255 --> 00:18:09,255 WAS HE HURT? TELL ME HE'S NOT HURT. 289 00:18:09,323 --> 00:18:12,825 ♪ HE'S HURT, HE'S HURT HE SLAMMED IN THE DIRT ♪ 290 00:18:12,894 --> 00:18:15,806 I WILL SELL THAT GUITAR. ALL RIGHT. 291 00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:17,830 HE'S FINE. HE'LL BE RIGHT IN. 292 00:18:17,899 --> 00:18:20,433 DID HE DO IT? DID HE MAKE THE CUT? YES, HE DID! 293 00:18:23,404 --> 00:18:25,338 AND THEN... YEAH? 294 00:18:25,407 --> 00:18:29,408 - HE GOT BANNED. - WHAT? BANNED? 295 00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:32,511 OH, GOOD LORD, NO. STEROIDS? 296 00:18:34,049 --> 00:18:37,583 YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. HE WAS AN ANIMAL! 297 00:18:37,652 --> 00:18:42,655 HE WAS IN ON EVERY PLAY... RUNNING, JUMPING, UH, PUTTING THE SMACKDOWN ON GUYS. 298 00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:46,025 MY SON IS A MONSTER! 299 00:18:47,395 --> 00:18:49,440 OKAY. WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 300 00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:51,642 IF HE WAS SO GREAT, WHY WAS HE BANNED? 301 00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:54,834 YEAH, ISN'T THAT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY? RUN AROUND LIKE A CRAZY LUNATIC? 302 00:18:54,902 --> 00:18:57,336 GREAT SPORT, BY THE WAY. 303 00:18:57,405 --> 00:18:59,972 YEAH, WELL, THEY DON'T WANT HIM PLAYING LIKE THAT AT HIS AGE. 304 00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:02,405 SO, SOME OF THE PARENTS GOT TOGETHER WITH THE 305 00:19:02,429 --> 00:19:04,710 COMMITTEE AND THEY BANNED HIM FOR ONE YEAR. 306 00:19:06,114 --> 00:19:08,154 THEY CALLED HIM AN ASSASSIN. 307 00:19:09,384 --> 00:19:11,050 JAKE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 308 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,052 SO YOU JUST LET THEM BAN HIM? 309 00:19:13,121 --> 00:19:16,555 OH, NO. I SAID, "OKAY, IF HE CAN'T PLAY, THEN I'M NOT GONNA COACH." 310 00:19:16,624 --> 00:19:20,894 - WHAT DID THEY SAY TO THAT? - THEY SAID THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE THINKING TOO. 311 00:19:23,131 --> 00:19:26,633 SO THEY BANNED ME. I CAN'T COACH FOR A YEAR. 312 00:19:26,701 --> 00:19:31,204 LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, I GIVE YOU THE ASSASSINATOR! 313 00:19:34,810 --> 00:19:38,377 STAY VERY STILL, FOLKS. HE'S TRAINED TO HIT ANYTHING THAT MOVES. 314 00:19:38,446 --> 00:19:41,247 HE'S 75 POUNDS OF ORNERY WHUP-ASS. 315 00:19:43,118 --> 00:19:45,818 BUT HE'S SO CUTE. WATCH IT, CHEERLEADER! 316 00:19:48,657 --> 00:19:51,791 THANKS FOR THE HELP, VAN. HEY, NO PROBLEM, BUDDY. HELPED ME TOO. 317 00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:54,571 GAVE ME A CHANCE TO WORK THROUGH SOME OF MY FEELINGS. 318 00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:58,665 I CAN'T BELIEVE I SPENT ALL THOSE YEARS MAD AT MY DAD 'CAUSE... 319 00:20:01,903 --> 00:20:03,837 OH, BOY. 320 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:09,009 I'M GONNA GO CALL MY DAD. 321 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:12,456 ALL OF THIS HAS REALLY HELPED HIM. I THINK HE'S HAD A REAL BREAKTHROUGH. 322 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,948 I'M JUST GLAD I COULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR HIM. 323 00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:18,117 CHEYENNE, I GOT THE MACHINE! 324 00:20:20,254 --> 00:20:22,922 OKAY, THIS IS GETTING OLD. 325 00:20:22,991 --> 00:20:24,941 WELL, JAKE, I THINK THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST 326 00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:26,893 TIME YOU EVER GOT IN TROUBLE WITH ANYBODY. 327 00:20:26,962 --> 00:20:29,529 - I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU. - COME ON, MR. ASSASSINATOR. 328 00:20:29,597 --> 00:20:32,143 I'M GONNA TAKE YOU IN THE KITCHEN AND BUY YOU A SODA. 329 00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:34,212 I'LL GET IT! 330 00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:36,903 OH, THANK GOODNESS. YOU HEAR IT TOO! 331 00:21:12,974 --> 00:21:15,909 ACME! 27200

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