All language subtitles for Reba - 4x17 - The Pageant Of Grandmas

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,039 HEY, JAKE. HEY, MOM. 2 00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:11,154 HEY, MAN WHO COULD HAVE DROPPED JAKE OFF IN THE DRIVEWAY... 3 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,411 INSTEAD OF COMING INTO MY HOUSE. 4 00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:16,982 YES, I COULD HAVE, 5 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,050 BUT THEN I WOULD HAVE MISSED THIS. 6 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:22,888 GO ON, JAKE. FIRST OF ALL, MOM, I LOVE YOU. 7 00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:26,491 JAKE, DID YOU CALL YOUR TEACHER "BIG MAMA" AGAIN? 8 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:34,399 - MOM, YOU'RE SO FUNNY. - YEAH. 9 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:38,770 SPEAKING OF FUNNY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEAUTY PAGEANTS? 10 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,785 WELL, JAKE, I THINK BEAUTY PAGEANTS ARE FINE FOR SOME PEOPLE, 11 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,409 BUT YOU REALLY OUGHT TO STICK WITH SOCCER. 12 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,279 MOM, STOP! MY SIDES. 13 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:55,254 WE'RE HAVING A FUND-RAISER AT SCHOOL. IT'S A PAGEANT FOR GRANDMAS. 14 00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,322 OH! A GRANDMA PAGEANT. 15 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,324 REALLY. 16 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,172 LITTLE OLD LADIES GOING UP ON STAGE STRUTTIN' THEIR STUFF? 17 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,129 MM-HMM. THAT IS HILARIOUS. 18 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:07,031 YEAH. YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT THE FUNNY PART. 19 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,034 I SIGNED YOU UP. 20 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:13,838 HA, HEY! 21 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,641 ♪ MY ROOTS ARE PLANTED IN THE PAST ♪ 22 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,077 ♪ THOUGH MY LIFE IS CHANGING FAST ♪ 23 00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:23,148 ♪ WHO I AM IS WHO I WANT TO BE ♪ 24 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,951 ♪ A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TOO HARD ♪ 25 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,686 ♪ WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS ♪ 26 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,322 ♪ WITH GENTLE HANDS ♪ 27 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,257 ♪ AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER ♪ 28 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:38,897 ♪ I'M A SURVIVOR ♪♪ 29 00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,639 MRS. H, I THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT THING... 30 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,819 FOR YOU TO WEAR AT YOUR PAGEANT. 31 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,678 - BEST OF ALL, IT'S PATRIOTIC. - WHAT EXACTLY COULD THAT BE? 32 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:56,314 RED HAIR, WHITE FACE, BLUE HAT... YOU ARE A FLAG. 33 00:01:57,551 --> 00:02:00,017 YEAH! 34 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,321 REBA? 35 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,501 YOU'VE TOLD ME A THOUSAND TIMES, AND I'VE NEVER LISTENED. 36 00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,692 YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULD JUST KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT. 37 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,530 I'M JUST APOLOGIZING IN ADVANCE. 38 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,939 GUESS WHAT I AM. 39 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,442 THE NEW FRUIT IN THE FRUIT OF THE LOOM? 40 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,382 BROCK TOLD ME ABOUT THE PAGEANT. ISN'T IT EXCITING? 41 00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,385 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 42 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,720 I KNOW THAT JAKE FELT OBLIGATED TO ASK YOU, 43 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:38,122 BUT I JUST WANTED TO SHOW HIM... 44 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,858 WHAT OTHER OPTIONS WERE AVAILABLE. 45 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,562 AFTER ALL, I AM A STEP-GRANDMA. 46 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,998 WITH THE BRAINS OF A "STEP-LADDER." 47 00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:51,069 WOW, BARBRA JEAN. 48 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:54,539 YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. OH, THIS? 49 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,541 THIS WAS EASY. 50 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,543 YOU KNOW, JUST AN OLD PAGEANT GOWN, 51 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,678 SOME HAIR SPRAY AND MAKEUP... 52 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:05,417 AND THREE STRATEGICALLY PLACED RUBBER BANDS. 53 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,894 TWO. TWO RUBBER BANDS. 54 00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:19,864 FIVE. 55 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,701 YEAH, WE STARTED WITH FIVE RUBBER BANDS. 56 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,171 OKAY. NOW, JAKE, 57 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,208 IF YOU ALLOW ME TO REPRESENT YOU IN THE PAGEANT, 58 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:33,879 I HAVE SEVERAL SONG OPTIONS FOR THE TALENT PORTION. 59 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:37,682 NOW, FIRST... AND A'ONE, AND A-TWO! 60 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,051 ♪ I'M A YANKEE DOODLE DANDY ♪ 61 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,021 ♪ YANKEE DOODLE DO OR DIE ♪♪ 62 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:46,558 NOW SOMETHING MORE SEDATE... 63 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,627 LIKE THIS. 64 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:55,767 ♪ AVE MARIA ♪ 65 00:03:55,836 --> 00:04:01,807 ♪ GRATIA DE MARIA ♪ 66 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,875 BREAK IT DOWN, MARY! 67 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:18,323 YEAH! 68 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,266 I NEED A BEER. 69 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,769 YEAH, RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 70 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,839 HEY. OH, NO. 71 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,052 DID I MISS MARY BREAKING IT DOWN? I COULD DO IT AGAIN. 72 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,210 NO. OKAY. 73 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,347 SO ANYWAY, SOMEBODY ASK ME A QUESTION. OKAY. 74 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,283 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 75 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,522 I MEANT A PAGEANT QUESTION. 76 00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,657 WHAT EXACTLY IS MISSING FROM YOUR LIFE... 77 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,460 THAT WOULD MAKE YOU ENTER A PAGEANT? 78 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,062 THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION, BOB. 79 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,033 I WANNA BE A ROLE MODEL... 80 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:06,705 NOT JUST TO GRANDMAS, BUT TO ALL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. 81 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,874 HEY, NOW. 82 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:13,344 TO SHOW COMPASSION FOR THE HUMAN RACE... 83 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,491 BY VISITING CHILDREN'S WARDS, 84 00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,515 VOLUNTEERING AT RETIREMENT HOMES... 85 00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:20,518 AND READING TO THE EYELESS. 86 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,529 - YOU MEAN TO THE BLIND? - NO. 87 00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,575 I MEAN THE EYELESS WHO CAN SEE. 88 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,399 OKAY, GEE WHIZ. 89 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:40,304 WOW, BARBRA JEAN. YOUR SPEECH WAS REALLY GOOD. 90 00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:43,141 AND YOU SURE DO KNOW HOW TO TAP. 91 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:47,212 YEAH, BUT TAP-DANCING TO THAT SONG WAS JUST A LITTLE DISRESPECTFUL. 92 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,048 NOW, IF YOU WORE A NUN'S COSTUME, THAT... 93 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:54,252 NO. YOU KNOW WHAT? I HEAR THAT'S A TOUGH HABIT TO BREAK. 94 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,101 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, JAKE, SHE WOULD BE GREAT. 95 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,403 BUT YOU KNOW, YOU KIND OF ALREADY DID ASK YOUR MOM, 96 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,593 AND, WELL, IF BARBRA JEAN'S IN IT, 97 00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:05,530 SHE'S GONNA MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. 98 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:09,000 ACTUALLY, BROCK, AS I RECALL, YOU PICKED ME FIRST TOO. 99 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,908 SO, MOM, YOU DON'T CARE IF BARBRA JEAN TAKES YOUR PLACE? 100 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,177 NO, SHE DOESN'T CARE. YOU DON'T CARE, DO YOU, REBA? 101 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:22,947 OH, NOT AT ALL. NO, NO. BARBRA JEAN IS REALLY GOOD AT THESE SORT OF THINGS. 102 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,783 TRULY, SHE'S A NATURAL. 103 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,899 SO, JAKE, YOU PICK WHICHEVER ONE YOU WANT, 104 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,101 AND IT WON'T HURT MY FEELINGS AT ALL. 105 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,559 WELL... PICK ME, PICK ME! 106 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:39,030 I GUESS I PICK BARBRA JEAN. 107 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,366 YES! HA, HA, HA! 108 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:44,536 I MEAN, THANK YOU, AND I HOPE I CAN LIVE UP... 109 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:48,206 TO THE CONFIDENCE AND EXPECTATIONS YOU HAVE IN ME. 110 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,643 OKAY. 111 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,714 WELL, LOOKS LIKE I'M OUT OF THE PAGEANT, 112 00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,783 SO I'M GONNA GO HAVE ME SOME PIE. 113 00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:07,893 MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN'T LET BARBRA JEAN ENTER THAT PAGEANT. 114 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:11,329 WHY NOT? OLD PEOPLE NEED TO LAUGH TOO. 115 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,398 JAKE WANTED YOU TO BE IN THE CONTEST. 116 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,500 THAT'S WHY HE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA. 117 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,669 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 118 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,670 IT WAS HIS IDEA FOR THE FUND-RAISER. 119 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,773 HE TOLD ALL HIS BUDDIES THAT YOU WERE GONNA WIN... 120 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,943 BECAUSE YOU'RE THE YOUNGEST, COOLEST GRANDMA. HE DID? 121 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,179 YEAH, AND HE'S A HARD-ENOUGH KID TO LIKE WITHOUT THEM SEEING THAT. 122 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,470 OH, MAN! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM. 123 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,427 OF COURSE I'LL DO IT. 124 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:46,364 HEY, REBA, DO YOU HAVE ANY JUGGLING PINS? 125 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,233 YES, BARBRA JEAN. THEY'RE IN THE BACKYARD UNDER THE BIG TOP. 126 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,871 YOU WON'T NEED 'EM, BARBRA JEAN. I'VE DECIDED TO ENTER THE PAGEANT. 127 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,641 WELL, THAT'S OKAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 128 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,821 I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO JAKE THAT I DO IT. 129 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,679 WELL, WHAT I THINK IS IMPORTANT TO JAKE... 130 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,881 IS THAT SOMEBODY WIN, 131 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:07,852 AND LET'S FACE IT, I HAVE A BETTER CHANCE. 132 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:13,124 REALLY? AND WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 133 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,126 WELL, BECAUSE I HAVE EXPERIENCE. 134 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,963 I HAVE WON FOUR BEAUTY CONTESTS ALREADY... 135 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:21,666 MISS VALUE MART, MISS KNOX COUNTY P&E, 136 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,135 MISS TASTEE FREEZ, 137 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,906 AND A WET T-SHIRT CONTEST DOWN IN GALVESTON. 138 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,460 WHY IS IT THE STUFF THAT NORMAL PEOPLE TRY TO FORGET... 139 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,884 YOU BRAG ABOUT? 140 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,690 REBA, TRY NOT TO THINK OF IT AS YOU NOT BEING IN THE CONTEST. 141 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:49,727 THINK OF IT AS ME SAVING YOU FROM MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF. 142 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,704 DO YOU HAVE A FULL-LENGTH MIRROR IN YOUR HOUSE? 143 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:13,651 REBA, YOU HAVE A GREAT MANY TALENTS. 144 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,021 YOU MAKE A NICE OMELET. 145 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:19,558 BUT IN THIS, YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. 146 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,095 BARBRA JEAN, I'M ENTERING THIS PAGEANT... 147 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:27,132 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT JAKE, 148 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,400 BUT I'M GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT. 149 00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,736 THAT WILL BE THE ICING ON THE CAKE. 150 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:35,173 OH, WELL, BRING IT ON, PEACHES. 151 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,777 BRING IT... ON! 152 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,727 HEY. I THOUGHT I'D WEAR MY COUSIN'S DRESS IN THE PAGEANT. 153 00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,930 SHE GOT MARRIED THREE TIMES IN THIS THING. 154 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,333 IT'S LUCKY. 155 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:04,335 MOM, YOU'RE GONNA BE IN A BEAUTY PAGEANT. 156 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,538 YOU HAVE TO WEAR SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, FLASHY. SOMETHING THAT CATCHES THE EYE. 157 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,976 OR TURN YOUR HEAD INTO A FLAG. I'M TELLING YOU. 158 00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:19,483 I'M SURE IF WE LOOK WAY IN THE BACK OF YOUR CLOSET, WE CAN FIND SOMETHING SEXY. 159 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,553 CHEYENNE, I'VE HAD THREE CHILDREN. 160 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,522 THE ONLY THING SEXY IN MY CLOSET IS AN OLD NURSING BRA. 161 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:29,360 - HEY! NOT IN FRONT OF ME. - WE'LL GO SHOPPING TOMORROW. 162 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:32,175 BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR YOUR TALENT ROUTINE? 163 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,199 YES! I'M GONNA DO A COMEDY ROUTINE. 164 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,368 OH, MERCIFUL GOD, NO. 165 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:40,939 LOOK, I'VE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF LATE-NIGHT COMICS, AND IT LOOKS EASY. 166 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:44,275 ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE PRACTICE, AND I CAN BE AS FUNNY AS THEY ARE. 167 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,444 SO SIT BACK, SHUT UP AND LAUGH. 168 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:50,047 MIGHT WANT TO WORK ON YOUR INTRO. YEAH. 169 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:54,185 SO IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE WITH YOU TONIGHT. 170 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:57,421 YOU KNOW, I'M DIVORCED, SO I'M BACK IN THE DATIN' WORLD AGAIN. 171 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,124 DATIN'... WOW! 172 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,529 HOW MANY OF YOU HERE ARE... ARE SINGLE TONIGHT? 173 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:07,398 ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE. 174 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:10,034 SO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 175 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:18,142 SO, NEW YORK... WOW. 176 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,312 HOW MANY OF YOU ARE HERE FROM NEW YORK? 177 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,919 MAN, CATS AND DOGS SURE ARE DIFFERENT, HUH? 178 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,920 YOU SUCK! 179 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:38,414 I'M SORRY, MRS. H, BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY DO AT THE CLUBS. 180 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:43,434 MOM, NO OFFENSE, BUT I REALLY... I DON'T THINK STAND-UP'S YOUR THING. 181 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,503 WELL, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE. 182 00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:47,739 COMEDY'S ALL I KNOW. 183 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,075 WE HAVE OUR WORK CUT OUT FOR US. 184 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,654 COME ON IN, MOM. 185 00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:28,265 CHEYENNE, I FEEL OVERDRESSED... FOR VEGAS. 186 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:32,036 MOM, YOU LOOK FABULOUS. THANK YOU. 187 00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:35,105 AND CONSIDERING WHAT YOU DID LOOK LIKE, I'M BRILLIANT. 188 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:40,044 OKAY, I HAVE TO GO. I FOUND A SET OF TEETH. 189 00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:45,382 - HELLO, REBA. - BARBRA JEAN. 190 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,289 OH. OH. 191 00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:54,459 MEW. MEW. 192 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:58,529 I LIKE YOUR SPEECH. 193 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,965 MAKES YOU SOUND SMART. 194 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,767 I'M PRACTICIN' MY ELOCUTION. 195 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:07,438 ONE MORE WEAPON IN MY ARSENAL WITH WHICH TO DEFEAT YOU. 196 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,074 YOU. YOU. 197 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,777 I FEEL LIKE I'M STARING INTO A FISH TANK. 198 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,182 HEY. I GOT YOUR STUFF, HONEY. 199 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,352 THE, UH... AND, UH... YEAH. 200 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,690 HEY, REBA. HEY. 201 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,859 LISTEN, YOU TWO, I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER SOMETHING. 202 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,028 THIS PAGEANT IS FOR THE SCHOOL. 203 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,330 IT'S NOT A COMPETITION BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. 204 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,867 SO NO MATTER WHO WINS OR LOSES, 205 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,436 THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS, DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME. 206 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:48,178 HA. THE OLD VASELINE TRICK, EH? 207 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:51,215 YOU NEWBIES JUST KILL ME. 208 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,718 HOPE YOU KNOW IF YOU PUT TOO MUCH OF THAT ON, 209 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,854 YOUR LIPS GET ALL SLIPPERY AND YOU START TO SLUR YOUR WORDS. 210 00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:01,626 THANKS, BUT I CAN HANDLE THIS ON MY OWN. 211 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,694 ♪♪ 212 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,830 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS. 213 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,877 THE PAGEANT'S GONNA START SOON. 214 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,135 SHOULDN'T YOU GO CHANGE? 215 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:14,138 SHOULDN'T YOU APPLY SOME MORE RUBBER BANDS? 216 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,676 SHOULDN'T YOU GO... SHOULDN'T YOU GO... 217 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,678 THAT WAS THE GOOD ONE. 218 00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:23,714 OKAY, I'M LOOKING FOR GRANDMA HART. 219 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,594 - OH, THAT'D BE ME. - THAT'S ME. 220 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:29,053 I'M SORRY, BUT WE CAN ONLY HAVE ONE GRANDMA FOR EACH FAMILY. 221 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,233 SO WHICH OF YOU IS GOING TO REPRESENT THE HARTS? 222 00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,324 - THAT'D BE ME. - ME. 223 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:36,906 OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU TWO WORK IT OUT, AND I'LL CHECK BACK WITH YOU. 224 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,863 OKAY. 225 00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:41,565 IF THERE'S ONLY GONNA BE ONE OF US, THAT ONE IS GONNA BE ME. 226 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:44,679 OH, WELL, I DON'T THINK SO. THAT CROWN IS MINE. 227 00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:48,572 I'M ELIZABETH'S REAL GRANDMA. YOU'RE JUST A CRAZY WOMAN WHO MARRIED GRANDPA. 228 00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,644 BUT I HAVE TO BE IN THIS ONE. 229 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,646 WHY? 230 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,715 HOW MANY TO YOU HAVE TO WIN UNTIL IT'S ENOUGH? 231 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:02,753 - ONE. - WHAT? 232 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,755 YOU HEARD ME. 233 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:07,090 I JUST WANNA WIN ONE. 234 00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:10,139 WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE OTHER PAGEANTS? 235 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:13,330 I THOUGHT YOU WERE MISS FROZEN MEATS OR SOMETHING. 236 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:17,335 IT WAS MISS TASTEE FREEZ, AND I CAME IN LAST. 237 00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,837 I ALWAYS COME IN LAST. 238 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,173 EVEN AT THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST. 239 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,775 HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS A GAY BAR? 240 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,693 WELL, IF NONE OF 'EM EVER WORKED OUT, 241 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,785 WHY THE HECK DID YOU WANT TO ENTER ANOTHER PAGEANT? WELL, I FIGURED... 242 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:37,388 I COULD FINALLY WHUP A BUNCH OF OLD GRANDMAS. 243 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:41,793 I DIDN'T FIGURE THAT ONE OF THOSE OLD GRANDMAS WAS GONNA BE YOU. 244 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:46,263 - WHO'S GONNA VOTE FOR ME IF YOU'RE IN THE CONTEST? - BARBRA JEAN... 245 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,265 YOU KNOW, 246 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,869 EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, 247 00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:54,905 ALL I EVER WANTED TO BE WAS A BEAUTY QUEEN. 248 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,908 THEY WERE... 249 00:17:56,976 --> 00:18:00,244 THEY WERE LIKE... BEAUTIFUL QUEENS. 250 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,153 BUT IN REAL LIFE, 251 00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:12,924 THEY WERE JUST SMALL-TOWN GIRLS THAT WORKED AT THE PIGGLY WIGGLY. 252 00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,059 JUST LIKE ME. 253 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,495 SO, DO WE HAVE A GRANDMA HART YET? 254 00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,599 YES. IT'S HER. 255 00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:26,704 GOOD. LADIES, WE'LL BE FILING ON STAGE IN JUST A MINUTE. 256 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,108 REBA, WHY'D YOU DO THAT? 257 00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,846 BECAUSE I KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO YOU. 258 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:38,416 YOU'LL BE GREAT, BARBRA JEAN. THANKS. 259 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,861 OH. EXCUSE ME. 260 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:55,966 JUST BETWEEN US GRANDMAS, I AM HOTTER LOOKING THAN SHE IS, RIGHT? 261 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,978 GOOD LUCK. 262 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:23,327 OH, MAN. IT FEELS SO GOOD TO GET OUT OF THOSE HIGH HEELS. 263 00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:25,795 OH, TELL ME ABOUT IT. 264 00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,235 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 265 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,338 PRESENTING THE REIGNING QUEEN... 266 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,675 OF THE PARKER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PAGEANT OF GRANDMAS, 267 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,077 MRS. BARBRA JEAN HART. 268 00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:49,753 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 269 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:53,223 THAT'S THE WAY SHE'S GONNA ENTER EVERY ROOM FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. 270 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:58,362 I'M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU, BARBRA JEAN. 271 00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,565 OH, HONEY, CAN YOU GET ME A SODA? 272 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,668 WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO LONG? 273 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,937 WE HAD TO STOP AND BUY A TIARA. 274 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,940 HEY, THEY SHOULD HAVE HAD ONE. YEAH. 275 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,510 HERE'S YOUR PIE, VAN. OH, THANKS. 276 00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:15,946 HEY, CAN YOU GET ME A SODA? WHAT AM I, YOUR WIFE? 277 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:21,352 HEY, JAKE, YOU OKAY WITH IT THAT I DIDN'T GET TO ENTER THE CONTEST? 278 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:24,955 YEAH. IT WAS WAY BETTER THAT BARBRA JEAN ENTERED. SHE WAS AWESOME. 279 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:29,437 OH! MY FRIENDS THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL... 280 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:32,029 WHEN YOUR BATON LIT THE CURTAIN ON FIRE. 281 00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:42,305 THOSE OLD LADIES SURE CAN RUN, CAN'T THEY? 282 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:21,078 ACME! 21736

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.