All language subtitles for Olivia.Marries.Her.Match.S03E02.1080p.WEB.h264-CODSWALLOP[eztv.re]_track3_eng

Oh, my God.

It's my wedding, as well,
not just your wedding.

Your communication skills right now
terrify me.

Right decision? Right man?
Right footballer?

Mum!

Is it cheating on your hen do?
Yeah.

You'll look after me, no?

No, no, and no.

What a sad little life!

THEY CHEER

I am fine.

Does anyone here think I'm not fine?

Mum and I are heading out
for dinner,

and Brad is still away
on his stag do.

Are you all right, darling?

Are you a bit stressed?
I am stressed, yeah.

What's going on?
What's the latest with Brad?

I've not really heard much.

Really?

I don't want him to call me 24/7,
even though it sounds like I do,

it's just that when it's the
other way round, he loses his shit.

Right.
Like, when I go out,

if it's a couple of hours,
and he hasn't heard from me,

he'll text me and be like,
"You're so cheeky".

Do you think he'll do that
when you're on your hen?

So, he had 11 hours unaccounted for
so I get them back.

Right. Are you gonna remind him
of that? Yeah.

I've screenshotted the time,
and I circled the time.

I don't care if it's petty.

I'm fine, but it's just noted,
do you know what I mean?

It's just rude,
to be honest with you.

It's just disrespectful.

Oh, here we go.
Oh, hi.

So, we've got a glass of fizz.
That's for me. Lovely, thank you.

She's a drunk.
THEY LAUGH

Cheers.

Cheers, honey, nice to see you.

Not long to go now.

My feathers are a bit ruffled,
I'm just a bit overstimulated.

I'm tired, I'm sick of talking about
this fricking WEDDING!

I'm feeling like...

..three years we've been
talking about this wedding.

It's starting to do my head in,

and I'm sure
I'm doing everyone else's head in,

and I'm sick of talking about it.
Yeah.

My whole narrative at the moment
feels so narcissistic,

it's all me, me, me, my wedding.

But then in a weird way,

I feel like I'm not even
living for myself.

I definitely got to a place
during the last three years

where I would have
happily just eloped...

Right.
..or done a really small wedding.

Brad didn't want that.
He wanted a big wedding.

I'm like, OK, this is
both of our lives, our memories.

And the wedding now feels like
I am doing it

for him and our friends
and our family

and what does everyone else think,
what does everyone else want?

And the media, and is it gonna
be good for the... you know,

for my Instagram,
and are people gonna like it?

But that's the business you're in.

I know that, I know.

But right now, he's on his stag do,
and I'm ready for blow out.

I guess I've got a bit of FOMO
that Brad's away on holiday.

I think they're gonna have
an amazing time.

Bleurgh!

My mum definitely does have

an exceptional soft spot for Brad,
for sure, yeah.

I think Brad's very sweet
and endearing.

He's very polite
if you don't live with him.

Why do you think Brad's so great?

Well, do you know what?

I liked Brad
from the first time I met him.

I know you did.
And all my friends fancied him.

Oh!
Or was it the other way around?

Mum! That's enough.
Sorry.

Obviously, I really think
Brad's lovely.

I've always liked him.

But he's very lucky to have you,
you know,

and I think he knows that.

Seriously.
Has someone...?

Knocked me on the head?

Yeah, has someone harpooned you
with a medical dart?

My mum is being
uncharacteristically...

..affectionate and warm
and saying some lovely things.

So lovely, in fact,
that I'd be inclined to check

that no-one's dropped a Valium
in her drink.

You are so kind and loving.

Seriously, you are.

Thanks.
And... And loyal.

And fun and funny,

and, I mean,
who's got this personality

and this package and the whole lot?

Thank you, that's very nice.
Are you gonna be OK?

It's like she's realising how
amazing a child I actually am.

But she's just realised now,
and I've been here for 30 years.

I'm like, "Get with the programme,
everyone else knew this about me."

You're just late to the party.

It's the morning after
the night before,

and there's a few in the group
who are not feeling 100%.

Mate, are you done for today?
Is that you out of action?

The geezer has actually
changed colour

from white to green.

Oi, you'll drink that, won't you?

That's a Sprite.
It's a vodka lemonade.

So, the lads have organised
a surf simulator.

It could be really funny,

or we could see someone being sick.

How are you feeling, Jay?

Terrible. Absolutely terrible.

Did you have a good first day?
Went to bed early.

We were soundo together.

I was asleep. I got in at four.

I reckon you need to get up
in the surfing. I ain't doing it.

I think it'll make you feel better.

Yeah, I agree.

Obviously,
with my record of injuries,

I can't be getting on this machine.

Do you think you can do that,
George? I think I can.

I could do about 15 seconds.
I don't think you'll last ten.

Let's have a bet, then.
Do 15 seconds,

I'll give you 100 euros.

No problem.

There is no way

that he can stay on this thing
for 15 seconds.

Good luck.

I don't need the good luck.
Don't break a bone or anything.

I'm definitely
making 100 euros here.

You don't realise,
15 seconds is a long time.

He ain't staying on there
for 15 seconds.

I'm going five seconds max.

Go on, Georgey boy!

THEY LAUGH

Let go of him, man,
let him go through.

Go on, son!

THEY LAUGH

Nice, Georgey boy!

His face is brilliant.

He just nearly knocked
his teeth out!

Nice.
Oh. Now stand up.

He's taking this so seriously,
look at him.

The face is so serious.

Oh, my God.

Go on, Georgey!
Go on, son!

George gets an A-star for effort.

To get on that on a hangover
takes a lot of balls, so,

yeah, he deserves a drink
at the bar.

I spoke to Liv this morning.
How did that go?

Not great. Not great.
Why, though?

Why?
What did she say?

You sent her 4,000 texts when
we got home. Yeah, when we got home.

But I hadn't spoken to her
since seven o'clock.

It's your stag do!

I was having too much fun.

I'm out with my boys,
it's the first night.

What do you expect from me?

She just said,
"You're taking the piss a bit.

"I text you at seven,
you text me at half four."

Oh, she's all right.

She's all right,
she knows it's the stag.

If one of the boys texts her
every hour, she'll be sweet.

She said, "When I go on my hen,
I ain't speaking to you."

And I was like...
fucking classy.

That's nothing new.
Why's he giving it the big'un now?

When I'm at home, I'll be like,
"Why are you not texting me?"

He'll text us.

She's going on her hen do
next weekend,

so she's probably just thinking,

"Whatever he does,
I'm just gonna do it back to him."

Cheers, boys.
We go again, eh?

Fucking hell.
Whoo!

'Hello.

'What are you doing now?'

Having a few drinks
round the corner from Ocean.

Hi, sister.

'Let me call you back
in five minutes.'

We're not doing anything.

INDISTINCT
Yeah, but I'm just speaking to you.

'I've gotta go.' All right.
Why are you getting so aggy for?

'Right. Bye, have fun.'

Love you.

Oh, my God, not again.
Has she got the hump?

He's in the shit, in't he?

Oi, oi,
don't let this dampen your mood.

If you start being a little melt
now, I'll be fuming with you.

PHONE RINGING

'Hello.'
Hello, how are you?

'I'm good. How are you?'

I felt like I was gonna cry today,

cos I just feel like
Brad's gone on his stag do,

and I'm like, "Oh, my God,
there's so much change.

"We're actually getting married,
it's real."

It was all a bit much for me
this morning, had a little moment.

'Yeah. No, I totally get that.

'But you're much better now
at dealing with change,

'and your routine being disrupted,
you're still fine.

'So I think one little cry's
very impressive from you.'

Thank you so much.

I feel very calm. Look, I feel...

Let's see what he's like, let's see
if he stays in touch and stuff.

But also I just feel
that he's gone first,

so you can set the standard for how
we conduct ourselves on these trips.

Charlotte is
my childhood best friend.

We've literally been best friends
since we were in primary school.

She's played, like,
a really key role

in mine and Brad's relationship.

In the sense of,
you know, being my support,

being a mediator at times
between the two of us when needed.

'Part of me feels like
you're like, "Yeah, I'm so fine."

'And I'm like, "Is this real?
Is she actually fine?" '

I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine!

My voice is getting higher
every time I say it.

CHARLOTTE LAUGHS
I have mellowed a lot.

Like, I used to be a right psycho.

Old me would have been
on that plane to Ibiza

in the luggage in the hold.

'We would have been in disguise
the row behind.'

Yeah, if anything I feel
just more FOMO,

and I'm just ready
to have a blow out.

So I'm more just...
I just feel jealous.

'Well, I mean,
we are going next week.'

I know!

'Don't be jealous. My life is on
hold until we go on this hen do.'

Oh, my God.

That makes me very happy,
because I feel the same way.

'I honestly can't wait.

'So long as you don't make
everybody get a piercing.'

I can't make any promises.

CHARLOTTE LAUGHS

Tattoos maybe.

'OK, enjoy the house on your own.

'Don't spend every waking second
stalking Brad on Instagram.'

What?!

That's so crazy,
I'd never do that (!)

What the hell?

I'll let you get back to work.
I'll call you in a couple of days.

'Yeah, I'll speak to you later.'

All right. Ciao, ciao, ciao.
'Bye, bye, bye.'

It's absolute carnage in Ibiza.
I absolutely love it. Buzzing.

What a fucking weekend
it's been, man.

Incredible.
Incredible.

Are you happy so far?
Oh, boys, I...

My brother, thank you.
Well done, Jay.

Thank you for this weekend,
you've done well. You're welcome.

And then we've got the wedding, as
well, we'll all come to the wedding.

But this weekend has been, like,

it's been one of the best weekends
of my life.

Are you ready for the wedding now?

Yeah, I am. I'm a bit nervous
about a few things.

I'm the only one
who's seen my speech, so...

I'm a little bit worried

cos I haven't proof-read it
to anyone yet.

For my speech, give me one tip.
Speak from the heart.

It's one moment in time
to tell your wife how you feel

in front of everyone you love,
everyone she loves.

Fucking hell, Benny,
gonna be a tear, mate.

Don't cry, mate.
I'll get you a tissue. Jesus.

'It was nice getting
a bit of advice from the boys.'

They have put my mind at ease
a little bit.

What about a best man speech for me?

It's a lot harder for you now, mate.
You've gotta make people laugh,

but you don't wanna be crude.
And he's not funny!

So it makes it
ten times harder for him.

I can't help him, then.

The shit that I've got on him
is terrible.

You see that's the line,
you're allowed to go there.

Nah, I'm down here.

Way past it, way past it.
You can't do it.

I am worried about that
after how they've stitched me up

with these two outfits.

I hope they don't stitch me up
that bad with my speech,

but I'm sure it'll be all right.

Oh, my God!

Boys.
How are you doing, brother?

How are you feeling?

Ah!
Feel all right?

I wanna thank you all for coming.
Oh, always.

Pleasure.
I do appreciate it.

It's been the best time.
I've loved every minute of it.

I'm honestly so grateful
for all the boys

sorting out the best stag do
I could even imagine.

One of the boys decided
it would be funny

to put a picture of me with
my arse out in Ocean on Instagram,

so I probably need to apologise.

Jump!

THEY CHEER

That's enough of the cameras.

Hello?

Hello!
Hi!

He's back.

Just sitting there on the couch
looking like a little curled-up rat.

Did you miss me?
Yeah.

Mm.

It feels nice to be home
and see Liv.

When you've been away
for a weekend

having a few too many drinks,

it's nice to be home with her.

Did you miss me?
Yeah, I did actually.

Did you?
Yeah, I did.

Promise?
I promise.

I'm really happy to be home.
Are you?

It's nice for him to be home.
I have missed him, to be fair.

He looks, erm...
He looks a bit sorry for himself.

Inside, obviously, I am a psycho,
but I've learnt to control it,

so the psycho in me was like,
"Ruin his weekend.

"Fly out there, blow up his phone."

The new, adult me was like, "No."

I think it was good
that maybe you did have Jen here.

Don't patronise me.

It's good cos it takes
your mind off it, don't it?

I don't give a fuck, Brad.
Like I said, I'm a new person.

I can control that voice on my own.

Well done.

You wait and see how you're feeling
when I'm swinging

fucking off the ceiling
at Ocean Club.

I'll be like, "I'm glad
she's having a good time."

Good.

I'm glad you had fun.
Thank you.

Are you happy I'm home?
Yes, I am. I've missed you a lot.

I thought I handled it quite well,
though.

Really? Yeah, it was only
the last day where I was like,

didn't really have much
cos I was done.

I think your version of handling it

and my version of handling it
are a bit different. Really?

I don't know. If I was cross-eyed
in Ocean Beach with my arse out,

I'd say that on reflection that
I weren't handling it that well.

Why did you have your hairy arse out
in Ocean Club?

That's so weird.
It's called a moonie, innit?

Thanks for that, yeah.

If I did that, though, you wouldn't
find it funny, would you?

I would find it funny.

Oh, right, good,
I'll do it next week. OK.

What's it called
when you flash your vagine?

I don't know, I just know
a bum is called a moonie.

I weren't, like,
throwing up everywhere

and needing to be carried home
or anything.

No.
I weren't.

So I think I done all right.

What?
Nothing, I'm just looking at you.

You look like
you've got something to say.

I ain't got nothing to say, mate.

Have you?
No.

You know I watch quite a lot of
true crime documentaries and stuff,

so there are, like,
symbols you can look out for

to see if someone's lying.

Sure you've got nothing
you wanna get off your chest?

There's nothing I need to say.

Mm, no pupil dilation,
means you're telling the truth.

What's your heart rate saying?

Did you grab any girls' boobies?

Yes or no?
No.

Mm.

I was a very good boy
while I was away.

Yeah, we probably had
a few too many drinks,

partied too late,
but I didn't do anything.

Open. Stick your tongue out.

No.

Oh. Got herpes...
Got all ulcers and that.

Eurgh!

Gonorrhoea.

Eurgh! Brad, put that away.
That's disgusting.

Feels disgusting.

You need to do an Indian tongue
scrape and a full cleanse.

That is fucking rank.

Was I lying?
I'm still waiting for the results.

I need to put all the stats
into my chart. OK.

Brad's stag do is officially over,

and it's all about my hen do,
and I wanna look my best.

I don't wanna be wearing
like hen typical stuff.

It's not really my thing.

But I do like a colour scheme

because that way,
everything looks better,

pictures look better,
we look better,

so I'm all for a dress code.

I thought we go
every outfit by every outfit,

try every single thing on,
take a photo of it,

get a slip ready and go.

We're just looking at stuff
that I could wear,

and I was like,
I'm gonna wear blue sparkles

so everyone can wear sparkles,
cos that'll be a great picture.

This goes perfectly,
my name is Olivia.

Is it?
The theme is glitter.

And then we're on the boat,
let's get everyone to wear neutral,

cos that'll be nice
and aesthetically pleasing.

I feel like an apple turnover.
I don't like it.

I just don't feel good!

Let's have a look.
Something's not working, is she?

You're not wrong, mate.
This came from Mexico,

and we had to pay import taxes,
so we're wearing it.

There's something quite cute
about it.

And if I need to go for a shit,
I don't even have to take it off.

In Ocean, we're gonna do black,

cos they've got them
abrasive, orange chairs.

Oh, I love her.
Isn't she a vibe?

You were feeling yourself then,
weren't you? Yeah, I was.

Then I had this idea about

this gothic, funeral-inspired look
for one night,

so we could mourn my single years.

But I can't wear that into
the restaurant.

Why?
It's gonna get caught on everything.

I have gone really extra
for that outfit.

To be fair, it's the bollocks.

And I'm very excited
about that outfit.

Where's the bikini,
the brown bikini?

The who?
The brown bikini for the picture.

You've got it on you.

Fuck.

OK, ready? One, two, three.

It's Ibiza, it's all the girls
together for the first time

in God knows how long.

And I'm all or nothing, aren't I?
I don't do things by halves.

I'm more nervous about the hen than
the wedding. This means more to me.

This is a nice, little send-off
to your being single,

whore of a life, you know?
Yeah.

Oh, my God, it's one last whore-rah!

That should be our hashtag.

I like that. Write that down
so we don't forget it.

I know where I wanna go,
I know where I wanna stay,

I know what time I wanna fly.

I'm sure there's gonna be bits
and bobs that I'm not across

but the bones of it,
I'll do it myself.

That way, if it goes wrong,
I can't blame anyone else.

'My really good friend Georgia
has come up to see me.'

We're gonna go in the gym,
attack it, have a massive workout.

One last healthy day

before it all goes downhill
on the hen do.

Hi, honey.

Nice, little circuit today, girls.

Georgia's, like, mega fit.

And I feel like
I'm running on empty at the minute.

Nice.

SHE SQUEALS
And rest.

Wouldn't it be easier
just to get surgery?

Nice work, well done.

Shall we get a drink?
Yeah, go on. Yeah.

Just push me in now!

What a nice day in Cheshire.
I know, this is lovely, actually.

You've brought this sun up with you
from London.

Georgia is one of my really,
really dear friends.

And we actually met on Love Island
six years ago now.

She's just been a concrete member
of my friendship group ever since.

I've missed you, though.

I know, it's been ages, hasn't it?

And your bum is noticeably bigger.
Do you think?

I'm not just saying that,

I really noticed it
when we walked into the gym.

I remember you saying
last time we was in Ibiza

that you wanted a bigger bum.

The building muscle bit
is hard graft. Yeah.

You can see why they all
turn their stomachs into arses.

Yeah, but you've got nothing
to put in your arse, so...

that's not an option for you.

I have considered bum fillers
in the past, though.

I look at people,
and I think, "Ooh".

I know. But then loads of people
die and stuff, so...

Is it worth dying for? Probably no.
Absolutely not.

You can get bum pads.

I wore 'em once,
and a boy grabbed my bum.

Fuck off! I promise you.
I was in a bar flirting with him,

and I had these padded bum
things on, I was younger,

and he grabbed my bum,
and I looked at him,

and he looked at me,
and I just walked away

as if to say,
"Don't tell anyone about that."

He probably thought,
"I'm not gonna, I'm traumatised!"

I'm just thinking back to last time
you and I were in Ibiza.

THEY LAUGH

I don't know if I've repressed that
from my memory or not.

I don't know if I can step foot
in Ocean Club again after that.

I'm excited about the dress codes.

What I've done, it'll look nice for
photos, but it's not too specific.

The boat day, Ryan was like,
let's do it neutral bohemian. Yeah.

When I put it in the group,
30 seconds later,

Nicole texted me saying,
"What's a neutral?"

Oh.
If we'd put bohemian there,

she would have had to
buy a dictionary.

Yeah.
I was like, let's keep it simple.

Just plain black for Ocean,
and neutral for the boat.

So it's like, you stand out,
but we get to choose our own style.

We're still going for
what was in the group.

Yeah, and you only get
to do this once.

I know, it's true.
You need to make it very obvious

that it's your hen do,
and we're all there for you.

And you're doing it
in a classy way.

Do you reckon?
Yeah.

Let's see.

You know Dr Saleena?

Well, no, but is that
your aesthetics doctor?

She's been doing my skin
for the wedding

and my Botox and everything,
but Brad's gonna meet me over there,

and I really want to coerce him
into having a little bit of...

Do they call it "baby Botox"?

I don't want him coming out
like a Ken doll, that's not cute,

but I just want him to soften
just for the photos.

He's so scared of needles,
he's such a baby.

You don't want him looking like
he belongs in Madame Tussauds,

but prevention is key,

and I've always been a firm believer
in Botox.

I look younger now than I did
when I was 18.

And that's not by accident.

He didn't want to fucking get
his teeth done either,

and he had teeth
like a smashed row of houses.

And we got him in that chair,
and now look at him.

Gorgeous. Everyone thinks
they're his own teeth.

They're not, they're porcelain.

Have any of his boys had Botox?
Some of them have got to.

There's been
a couple of hair transplants.

There's been a lot of veneers.

Yeah. I don't know
if there's been any Botox.

Not a fun talk, but how have you
been since what happened to you?

Over the last year, pretty much,

Georgia's been involved
in a very public legal battle

with her ex-boyfriend

after he posted sexually explicit
material of her online

without her consent.

You girls have been such
a big support to me throughout it.

There wasn't a second
I wasn't updating the girls' group.

And it's like,
you need that with your friends.

I remember the day that she
found out those videos were online.

It still, honestly,
gives me goose bumps now.

He was obviously so confident
that he was getting away with it,

that I think it scared all of us
that he would.

He was wearing Louboutins
as they took him away.

But I'm a lot better.

I'm ready to rebuild my life,
start again, and I'm on the up now.

I feel like it's in the past.
Yeah.

I'm really looking forward
to the hen do

just to let loose, be with
the girls, have a bit of fun.

No, you done good, girl.

Thank you. I love you.
Love you, too.

Before the hen, I'm going for
some last-minute tweaks

with my cosmetic doctor, Saleena.

We're gonna do some treatments
to make me look young

and fresh for my upcoming nuptials,

AKA, she's gonna burn my skin off
to the bone, and I'm gonna like it.

Shall I do a story?

Are you ready?
Yeah.

Right, mission wedding skin

with Frankie,

and you all know Saleena by now.

If Kim Kardashian can have this,

I have to have it.

Frankie, I'm trying to convince Brad

to have a few "tweakments"
for the wedding.

Do you think he's gonna do it?
No. But God loves a trier.

Even this clinic environment is,
like, his worst nightmare.

It makes him nervous.

I am actually ridiculously hardcore.

I have had ten veneers changed
with no anaesthetic.

My dentist said he could write
about me in medical books

how fucking brave I am.

Three, two, one.

Fucking hell, Frankie! Oh, my God!

SHE WHIMPERS

That laser is one of
the most painful things.

See if you can hack this one.

SHE SQUEAKS
Yeah, I can do that.

Is that all right?
SHE SQUEALS

Oh! Think of the wedding photos!

It's so fucking painful.

You're doing really good.

It's definitely worth it

cos the results... I mean
look at me, I'm sensational.

Hiya.
Hi.

We have a visitor.

You can take those off for a second.

Do I look red?

It is red, that side.
I'm feeling it.

It's like getting
a little barbecue, tss!

We've turned it up, cos obviously,

we're on the clock now
for the wedding. I wanna look 12.

What have you actually had done?
How long have you got?

You've put a lot of stress on me
last couple of years,

so I've had to get more work done.

If you actually got Botox...
Me get work?

Mm. Little tweak.

I think just...
Look at his forehead there.

Or do you think if you get rid of
them, he won't look manly any more?

On a man,
we tend not to do their eyes

because that's what feminises
a man's face.

But foreheads are usually OK.

There is no chance of me
getting Botox in my face.

I actually did get it, but...

We made Brad have Botox.

Bullied him when everyone else
had gone home.

Can you not tell? Look.

Can't move my fucking forehead.

The hen is causing me more anxiety
than the wedding, 100%.

The girls have driven me to
the edge, organising this hen do.

I've had last-minute dropouts,
I've had flight changes.

It's just not gone smooth.
It's just been a lot.

Oh, dear.

Liv, just fucking twat it down.

THEY LAUGH

Beth is Brad's little sister,
and she's an innocent soul

who's become collateral damage
in our relationship.

She deserves no part of this

or anything that's gonna happen
over the next three days.

Beth, I cried myself to sleep
last night.

Oh, what for?

What do you mean, what for? I've got
friends dropping out of my...

I keep wanting to call it honeymoon.
We've not got that far yet!

I've had literally people... Let's
get the hen do over and done with.

It's been stressful, innit?
It's been a lot.

Just the way things have worked out,
I've barely got to see Brad.

But it's just the way
things have worked out.

It is what it is.

I'm signing up for a life sentence,
we'll make up for it in the future.

Literally, two days before the hen,

with the exception of you,
you and Charlotte,

every single person in the hen

has messaged me at some point
to question something.

When I was busy fucking paying out
on my credit card

for deposits here, deposits there,
booking boats,

and going,
"I'm gonna treat everyone,"

I didn't think that people would
then go two days before,

"Oh, I just realised I can't come.

"I just checked,
and I can't get a day off work."

How the fuck,

when it was six months ago
we fucking put this chat together?

You actually do learn
who your true friends are

when you plan a big event.

I'm gonna say, I might have to do
a little reshuffle of the roster

if people carry on TESTING me!

Yeah, but I think
you've been so chill.

This isn't the look of someone
with a really chill personality.

You know you're going
for three days?

Yes, darling. What's your point?

Why are there so many outfits?

There's not. One, two, three.

Four.
That's part of one.

Five.
What?

Underwear and swim.

Yeah, I'm allowed some underwear.

Do you want her naked in O Beach?

Overpacked a little bit or not?
This is the medicine kit.

So I've got... This is really good
if you're, like, swollen.

Shut up.

And then you can freeze this,
so I can...

She looks like she's in,
like, WrestleMania!

You're a fucking idiot.
THEY LAUGH

Do you want a drink?

Yes, I'm parched, Brad.
Literally, my mouth is like...

SHE SUCKS
I'm joking!

Do you want water?
I'm sweating. Please!

God, I got really excited then.

If there's an ice cube going round,
and you wanna throw it in...

Just think, this time tomorrow,
we'll be there.

All your hard work,
and we'll be out there.

SHE BURPS

OK, that's that.
Thank you ever so much.

Thank you so much.

Have you recovered from your stag?

Yeah, just about.

He came home, kissed me, and I've
broken out in a miscellaneous rash.

Herpes.

Are you excited for me to go?
You?

Yeah, are you excited to see
the back of me for a few days?

Yeah, I am actually, yeah.

'I think it's nice to spend time
apart to miss each other.'

We're about to get married, and you
think we do best when we're apart.

Not great, is it?
No, I'm saying, just sometimes,

you can be a little bit annoying.

But I bet you find me annoying,
though.

I find you absolutely infuriating,
hon.

I can imagine him trying to ring me
to get hold of you.

Yeah, he will.
"Ryan, are you with Olivia?"

"Yes, now fuck off." It'll be, like,
an hour he hasn't heard from you.

Sorry, who is this number?
You stop chatting bollocks.

I'll be excited when we're there.

I just feel like
I'm walking in slow sand.

Quicksand.
Quicksand.

Every time my phone flashes up,
my arsehole literally pulsates.

I'm like, "What NOW?"

"WHAT NOW?!"
That's what I say every time.

I'm like, "What do you want?!"

THEY LAUGH
Right, I'm going.

Football's on.
Ta-ra.

It's OK, it's your day,
it's your weekend.

Oh, God! Oh, God forbid I have
a fucking second for myself.

Sorry. "Oh, is this Thomas Cook,
Liv Holidays On Tour?"

FUCK OFF!

Oh, why don't you get married, and
you can plan the whole fucking thing

while doing seven other
FUCKING JOBS!

Tomorrow is the day, and honestly,
it couldn't come soon enough.

I need this trip so bad.

Oh, I've got to stop fucking
frowning, my Botox is kicking in.

I've got no more time to redo it.

No more travel arrangements,

no more arguments in the group chat,
no more crying.

THEY WHOOP

It is just full-on party bus.

Every single person
bar me, Ryan and Beth

has flown from a different airport.

'We're on my hen, it's the end
of an era, let's just go for it.'

Full steam ahead.

We're in Ibiza, bitches!

Do you know what? You're
so much better at your make-up.

Do you know who slays my make-up?

# I'm going to the chapel

# And I'm gonna get married

# Going to the chapel, and I'm... #

Hello, baby.
Hello, darling.

You left UK being Mrs Attwood,

she's now Mrs Attwood-Dack.

'I've got Ryan, Mark and Georgia
up in my room.

'The energy's just great.'

We haven't even all got together
as a group yet,

and it's already buzzing.

Who'd have thought?

I know. Someone's actually
gonna marry me. Sucker!

Look at what Ry did with my sister.

Oh, my God!

I know, and every bag's
got a picture of me

and whoever else is here.

Ry, is there dick straws?

There, look, there.
I've got the dick straws.

Can I get one?
Babes, you help yourself.

Babes, shove it in.

Have it all.
Is that a willy straw?

It's all I wanted.

All she wants is a dick straw
in her life!

Forget the goodie bags, I'm done.

I'm actually jealous
of you being single.

You can go out shagging tonight.
HE LAUGHS

I'm actually getting MARRIED!

He's gonna call off the wedding,
shut up!

How are you feeling?
No, good, excited.

Are you giddy?
Yeah.

Do you get that, like, anx...?
Cos, obviously, I was married.

But the anxiety... Any words
of wisdom from your marriage?

Fucking don't get a pre-nup!
Don't do it!

THEY LAUGH

But, in a serious note,
are you getting the jitters?

I feel like I'm too...
I don't even...

This sounds really bad,

I'm not even in wedding head,
I'm in hen.

Let's worry about the wedding
after the hen.

I'm all about the hen
the next three days.

Take each moment as it comes.
Embrace being hens.

I've told Julie, I've told Fred,

I've told everyone,
I'm off comms until Sunday.

So if anyone wants me, they can
just fucking whistle for it.

THEY LAUGH

Girls, shall we go get ready?
We need to get ready.

Right, let's go.
Love you.

Love you. Love you.

Whoo!
Come on!

Oh, my God.

I do love 'em for coming out here,
but fuck me.

When you're going to Ibiza,
you've got to play the long game

because you're not gonna last.

You just have to play it
a bit more sensibly.

'And I wanna look nice
for the beginning of it.'

Get dressed, get a picture,
and then whatever happens, happens.

Tonight is the first night
of the hen,

and it's the funeral
to the girlfriend era.

I'm gonna mourn the occasion
before we get fucked up.

Everyone really went for it
with the theme.

It's aesthetically coming together
just how I imagined.

Tall in the middle,
and then we fan out.

There's no-one on this side.
I'm coming!

Lovely, thank you.

'So, we're starting the night
at Cottons Beach Club.

'The view is spectacular.'

They have a little bay,
and the water is turquoise.

It just looks like a postcard.

It's very understated,
very typical of my personality.

Right, girls and gays,

on the first night
of the official hen,

if you're here, it's because you are
someone that's played a massive part

in making me the person I am.

Oh, I'm gonna cry!
Oh, that's so weird.

You're an ugly crier!
THEY LAUGH

I'm really grateful
you all travelled out to Ibiza,

and we've finally made it,

and actually,
tomorrow will be one week

until the wedding.

THEY WHOOP AND CHEER

So, cheers, let's get fucked up!
WHOOPING

Lads, lads, lads, lads!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Cheers for being the little sister
I never wanted.

Cheers to being the best cousin.

It's the end of an era.
Eurgh!

We had some good times.

I think I exhausted the fuck
out of it.

Getting so drunk!

How drunk are we?
This is a silly question, actually.

I think I'm ready to be
in my wife era now.

Do you know what I was thinking
about the other day?

My first memory is of you
having a sleepover

doing the splits
and flashing everyone

because you were in
hot-pant pyjamas.

And that honestly...
With no knickers on?

With no knickers on. I'm scarred,
it's my first vivid memory!

I'm not joking.
Are you OK?

I'm sure of it.

Charlotte's been there through
so many stages of my life.

She's been a voice of reason,

so I think having a friend like that

who has your genuine
best interests at heart is so rare,

and it's so special
when you do find it.

No, but, like, seriously,

I just feel so happy
that you've found someone finally.

I just never thought I'd see you in
a healthy relationship like this.

Honestly, I really didn't!

Honestly. I've gotta be honest,
neither did I.

The way it came together
was so messy,

like, that whole Love Island...

Love Island changed my fucking life.
Yeah.

If I hadn't done Love Island,
I wouldn't be with Brad.

No. I wouldn't be this situation,
my life.

My life just wouldn't be my life.

I owe everything to you, because
I never would have gone on that show

if you weren't there that night
packing my bag.

I wasn't going.
I know.

But it would have happened
for you, anyway,

because it's what you deserve,
and it's what you... But how?

Because I wasn't going,
and you came round

and actually packed my bag and
literally dragged me out the door.

Since the day we met,

as kids, it's just been like
ride or die.

Honestly, and we've both been there
for each other

in different ways
and fucking hard times,

but I've definitely tested
the best-friend card

more than you have.

Oh, no!

The relationships,
and the ups and the downs of work.

We're so close,
it's just like unspoken.

Yeah, like family.

I love you.
I love you, too.

All my friends have
massive personalities on their own.

They're all just
balls-to-the-wall insane

so when you kind of get them
all together,

it's just a cocktail of...
fuckery.

It's just... It's a lot.

SHE BURPS

Oh, Jesus Christ.

There's always a point, isn't there,

in every night where
it starts to take a turn?

We're not the kind of girls
that go out to take nice pictures

at dinner and go home,
unfortunately. I wish we were.

Do you know what? I wanna
say something on a serious note.

No, I wanna say something now
you're both here...

Don't get sentimental now.
No, I am.

Because I know what it takes to pull
away from the ice rink, Torvill.

All right, had a bit of Botox, Dean,
have we?

Looking 20 years younger.

No, but I know those 360 spins
take a lot of...

Olivia, I can't take you seriously,
your tit's hanging out.

Are these nipples real,
or are they fake?

They're mine, but they've been
cut off three times.

Cut off?!
Mine got plucked out.

What do you mean?

Mine were inverted,
they were very shy.

Unless I was horny or cold...

I remember your inverted nipples.

I said to the guy that done my tits,

"If you do them, can you sort
the nipples out?"

He said, "I pull them out!"

It's unravelling,
do you know what I mean?

The conversation's going downhill.

The tone is rapidly dropping.

Georgia's talking about her nipples,
it's just...

it's getting feral.

When I was 18, and we first met,
and I had my little B cups,

I used to wear the chicken fillets
from La Senza.

We used to put them in,
and now they're inside my body.

Do you know what, Liv?

I'm feeling really emotional
that it's your hen do.

No, please, no. I can't help it,
cos I'm that fucking person.

Everyone's here cos they love you
so much, and I'm just so excited,

and you're so special,
and Bradley's so special.

And you're two souls
that deserve to be with each other.

Oh, stop being so soppy!
I can't help it!

You are so emotional about this

cos you knew me
when I was an 18-year-old kid.

You wanna cry,
I can see it in your eyes.

Stop making jokes, just cry.

On the wedding dress,
literally, I was like this.

HE GULPS
"You look... all right."

I wanted to sob me heart out
cos you look amazing.

And do you know what I've learnt?
You've blossomed in yourself.

You're not a ho any more.

You're a proper lady!

Girls, are we gonna get wasted
this week? Yeah.

Let's do it.
We're on, girls.

The energy's just really high.
Everyone's in a really good mood.

Everyone's being stupid and silly
and hyper.

You've done that before,
haven't you?

This is the final sloppy weekend
you've got before you're married.

Hello! Hello!

OLIVIA CHATS DRUNKENLY

'The wheels are gonna come off.
I have to, it's my hen do.'

I am a little bit scared.

This hen do has thrown me entirely.

We're all gonna die!

Have you spoke to anyone
on the hen do?

Brad who?
Fuck off.

I just can't be someone's wife!

Now it feels real.

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