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MAN: Love, the mostpowerful force in the universe.
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00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,255
Or so some say.
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00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:25,994
At the dawn of mankind,the selection of a matewas a matter of survival.
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00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,996
Eventually, people beganto choose partners
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00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,063
out of loyaltyto family or tribe.
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00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:33,166
The industrial revolutiongave us the telegraphand the telephone,
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the 90's the internet,and today, with the metaverse
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nearly indistinguishablefrom real life,
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most of us prefer to live,laugh, and love virtually.
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Who am I?
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00:00:44,746 --> 00:00:46,313
My name is Roddy Danger.
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00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,685
And this is where it all began.
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00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:56,423
I was working part timestocking shelvesto pay the bills,
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maybe even earna few extra credits
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00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,794
for a power-upor some new skins.
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00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:02,462
I mean, I always believedI was destined for more,
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00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,332
but I didn't havethe confidenceto go after it...
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00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,502
until I met her.
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00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,772
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:21,181
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
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00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:28,623
Kimberly and Ihave been together ever since.
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00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:32,994
We've explored every inchof the metaverse together.She's been my rock.
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00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:35,563
She was the onewho encouraged meto pursue gaming full-time.
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00:01:35,597 --> 00:01:37,497
KIMBERLY: Here.I want you to have this.
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00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,968
RODDY: And as we grew together,so did my spoton the leaderboard.
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I was on top of the world...
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00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,838
KIMBERLY: I'm so proud of you.I knew you could it.
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RODDY: ...until I wasn't.
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It was a crippling defeat.
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KIMBERLY: Hey, did you maybewanna get up today?
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RODDY: For a while,I just felt likeI couldn't win.
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00:01:53,815 --> 00:01:56,985
When I fell apart,my relationship took the hit.
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00:01:57,018 --> 00:02:01,089
KIMBERLY: No, it's fine.Uh, we don't have to celebratemy birthday this year.
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00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,057
This is the second timethis is happening.
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I'm going to stay at my mom'svirtual cabin in New Hampshire.
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RODDY: I don't blame herfor giving me an ultimatum.
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KIMBERLY: Okay.But this is yourlast chance, Roddy. I mean it.
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RODDY: I'm lucky she gave meanother chance and this time,I had to get it right.
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00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,342
[GIRL COUGHING]
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[BEEPS]
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[BEEPING]
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[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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[DIGITAL BEEPS]
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Seriously?
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00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,654
[BEEPING]
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00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:49,229
[ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:04:03,111 --> 00:04:05,146
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
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00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:06,981
KALVIN: What is it, Shifrin?
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00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,983
Sir. [STUTTERS] Sir.
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00:04:10,752 --> 00:04:12,419
I... Ugh.
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00:04:16,758 --> 00:04:18,693
[CABIN OPENS]
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00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,260
[HISSES]
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-[COUGHS]
-[STUTTERING] Thousand apologies
for the interruption.
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00:04:31,973 --> 00:04:34,876
It seems very urgent.
You have a fight request.
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00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,719
Well, who might you be?
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00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:51,692
Subscribe.
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00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,361
I accept.
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00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,910
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Kluck versus Danger.
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00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:12,180
Three, two, one.
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00:05:12,213 --> 00:05:13,748
Fight.
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00:05:34,235 --> 00:05:35,435
[SIGHS]
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00:05:36,037 --> 00:05:37,505
Goodbye, Roddy.
64
00:05:42,944 --> 00:05:45,546
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:08,302
MALE NEWSCASTER: An angry mobof mostly peaceful protestors
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00:06:08,336 --> 00:06:10,204
stormed Los Angeles city halllast night,
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00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:13,774
killing two and causingmillions in property damage,
68
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:16,911
in the third nightof dangerous civil unrest.
69
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:20,982
Infections are spiking,
fatalities are on the rise
70
00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:24,585
and country-wide morale
is at an all-time low.
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00:06:24,619 --> 00:06:27,121
In more pressing news,
last night brought yet another
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00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:32,059
unsurprising victory
for video game fan-favorite,
Kalvin Kluck.
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00:06:32,093 --> 00:06:34,494
Whoo, Kalvin! Oh, he's the best!
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00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:38,633
We're lucky enough to get him
for an exclusive interview
right here tonight on the show.
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00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,534
-Kalvin, welcome.
-What's up?Thanks for having me.
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00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,435
-Subscribe.
-We have subscribed.
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00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,505
Oh, we subscribed so hard.
You were great last night.
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00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:48,976
Congratulations on your victory
over relative new-comer,
Roddy Danger.
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00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:51,012
People are saying
that the relationship
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00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:55,149
between Danger
and his long-time girlfriend,
Kimberly Martin,
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00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:58,319
-is on the rocks.
You gonna pounce on that?
-[CHUCKLES] Most def.
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00:06:58,352 --> 00:07:00,087
Now tell me this.
Once you've hit it,
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00:07:00,121 --> 00:07:01,923
will you or will you not
quit it?
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00:07:01,956 --> 00:07:04,457
-Oh, probably.
-You're a gentleman
and a scholar, my buddy.
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00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:07,528
Oh! Very exciting stuff, Kalvin.
Thanks for joining us
on the show.
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00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:10,164
I would like to take a moment
to thank our sponsors
for this stream.
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00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:14,434
Payless Shoe Source
and the new Brunswick chapter
of Antifa.
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00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,704
Coming up next,we'll spill the tea
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00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,373
on why this starof Beverly Hills Bitches
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00:07:19,407 --> 00:07:23,244
and this NBA hopefulare both being canceled.
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00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:26,614
The answer might surprise you,but it probably...
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00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,882
More after the break.
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[GASPS] Kimberly?
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00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,799
Are you in here?
95
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,568
I was just about
to clean up actually.
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00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,203
I was planning on it
this morning.
97
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:01,716
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
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00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,385
What do you want, Roddy?
I'm in...
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00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:07,088
I'm not good right now.
I need her back.
100
00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:09,690
Well, maybe, you shouldn't have
acted like such a child.
101
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,659
Okay. Well, at least
I'm not a racist.
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00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,694
You're a prick,
and I'm going back to therapy.
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00:08:13,728 --> 00:08:15,262
-Wait, wait, wait.
-What, Roddy?
104
00:08:15,296 --> 00:08:18,399
Can you just, like,
ask your therapist
what I should do?
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00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:19,834
Like, a professional opinion?
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00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,737
That's not what
therapists do. Goodbye.
107
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,706
No, they're
professional opinion givers.
They give...
108
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:29,510
They give opinions...
professionally.
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00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:36,917
Clarissa, is everything
all right?
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00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,120
Sorry, that was my cousin,
Kimberly's boyfriend.
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00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:42,356
Or I guess ex-boyfriend.
I don't know.
He's such an idiot.
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00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:44,425
She thought
he was gonna propose...
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00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:48,562
Yeah, listen, uh, Clarissa,
why don't we get back to talking
about you for a second, okay?
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00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:52,466
Tell me. Why do you think
you're such a shallow,
worthless human being?
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00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,135
Is that what you think of me?
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00:08:54,168 --> 00:08:56,871
Is that, like, your
professional opinion, "Doctor"?
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00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,173
Oh, forgive me, sweetheart.
I was just mirroring back
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00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,542
what you said to mebefore you picked upwhat seemed to be
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00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,311
a wholly unimportant
FaceTime call during a session.
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00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:08,149
Right, right, right. Okay.
So, everyone hates me right now.
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00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:10,251
Like, they fired me from BHB.
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00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:11,852
I'm sorry. BHB?
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00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,821
My show, Beverly Hills Bitches.
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00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,323
[ECSTATICALLY] Airing Sundays
at 9:00 p.m., only on TruTv.
125
00:09:16,357 --> 00:09:19,393
Oh, honey, sweetheart.
No, you don't have to plug it,
I'm not gonna watch.
126
00:09:19,427 --> 00:09:22,663
Well, basically, everyone's,
like, really mad or whatever
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00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:27,536
because I didn't post
a black square on Instagram
on #BlackoutTuesday.
128
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,904
It was, like,right after George Foremanwas murdered
129
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:34,408
and everyone was, like,pretending to care aboutpolice brutality or whatever.
130
00:09:34,442 --> 00:09:36,444
Yeah, I'm curious,
why didn't you?
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00:09:36,477 --> 00:09:38,679
I thought everyone
was supposed to post it.
132
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,882
-I don't know!
I was busy and I forgot!
-I see.
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00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:45,286
So, now you feel like a...
134
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,722
Go ahead. You can say it.
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00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:51,125
A worthless,
shallow human being.
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00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,027
Good girl. There you go.
137
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,530
Okay. So, this is why
you were canceled?
138
00:09:55,564 --> 00:10:00,835
Well, no. No, I got canceled
because of the photo
that I posted instead.
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00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:03,270
-[SIGHS]
-[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:10:03,304 --> 00:10:05,172
-[GUNSHOTS]
-Dear Lord!
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00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,541
Is it that bad?
142
00:10:06,575 --> 00:10:09,110
Why would you post
something like that
on BlackoutTuesday?
143
00:10:09,143 --> 00:10:13,147
My account was on auto-post.
It was a paid ad from a sponsor
for a mud mask.
144
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,915
Well, then why would you
caption it "BLDM"?
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00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:17,918
It's #BleuDemure! It's French!
146
00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:19,487
Honestly, I thought
it was gonna be
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00:10:19,521 --> 00:10:21,322
like the #PrayforParis thing.
148
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:24,892
You know, I didn't know
everyone was gonna be,
like, oh, we're all doing this.
149
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,094
I need prayers.
And where is everyone for me?
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00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:29,864
You know, all prayers matter.
That's how I feel.
151
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:32,066
-And I feel like...
-EVELYN: I so wishyou could hear
152
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,502
what this girlis saying right now.
153
00:10:33,535 --> 00:10:36,337
I just have no tolerancefor racism.
154
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:39,006
DEVINE: Where are youright now? At a rally?
155
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:43,144
EVELYN: No, I'm with a patient.But... yeah, yeah.
156
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:46,313
And you know what?We just pulled downa statue of Mister Rogers.
157
00:10:46,347 --> 00:10:49,850
DEVINE: That is so hotthat you're involvedin social justice.
158
00:10:49,884 --> 00:10:54,556
My wife wouldn't be caught deadat a rally. [CHUCKLES]
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00:10:54,589 --> 00:10:57,091
WOMAN: He's obsessed. It's like
there's a wall up between us.
160
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,593
-He doesn't see me.
-It's my job!
161
00:10:58,627 --> 00:11:00,361
-Yeah.
-I have to be obsessed.
162
00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,796
-It's like you're last at bat
and the bases are loaded...
-If I can...
163
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,865
...and all of the sudden, boom,
you're in the penalty box.
164
00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:07,502
-You have no idea
what he is talking about.
-Do I have to spell it out?
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00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,003
-Everything is canceled.
-Yeah, but...
166
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,438
-NBA, NFL, NWO...
-WNBA?
167
00:11:11,472 --> 00:11:14,441
-Next thing you know,
they're gonna cancel the NAACP.
-NAACP?
168
00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:16,911
-[WHISTLING]
-I don't understand
anything he's talking about!
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00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:18,946
-He won't look at me,
he won't touch me.
-Right.
170
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,282
-He won't kiss me.
-I won't kiss her, she says.
171
00:11:21,315 --> 00:11:23,717
Wearing that thing on her face,
which will not take off...
172
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:26,253
I want to tolerate,
but... time out.
173
00:11:26,287 --> 00:11:28,222
We've been quarantining together
for months.
174
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:31,358
-I'm not gonna get you sick!
-It's not that, I just can't.
175
00:11:31,392 --> 00:11:33,994
-What's behind the mask, Angela?
-I'm hideous.
176
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:36,230
There's no one to attend
my cosmetic needs.
177
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,165
I feel ugly.
178
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,001
I don't feel like
I'm your priority.
179
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:46,675
[SIGHS] Okay. That's...
I didn't know that.
180
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,910
Uh, of course,
you're my priority, Angela.
181
00:11:49,944 --> 00:11:52,012
Look, I'm here.
Talking to the coach.
182
00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:55,115
Or... Uh, Dr. Divine. Right?
183
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:59,954
-Look. Nothing
is more important to me than...
-[CELL PHONE RINGING]
184
00:12:01,623 --> 00:12:03,290
I'm so sorry, I gotta take this.
185
00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:07,662
You see what I mean?
It is impossible to talk to him.
186
00:12:07,696 --> 00:12:10,864
-You're not speaking
the same language.
-No, my English's premium.
187
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,033
I take ESL for six months
after Barry bought me.
188
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,935
Yeah, but it's deeper than that.
189
00:12:14,969 --> 00:12:18,707
I am going to send you
a copy of a book
that I think might help.
190
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:22,243
It's called Sportsas a second language:
191
00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:26,480
Communicatingwith toxic masculinity,
by Ray Rice.
192
00:12:26,514 --> 00:12:28,916
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
193
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:35,322
I'm not doin' it. I'm not
doin' this V-Ball thing, man.
194
00:12:35,356 --> 00:12:37,791
Monte, how can you say that?
You're killin' it, man.
195
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,528
We are this close
to making real bank here.
196
00:12:40,562 --> 00:12:44,398
I'm still trying to dig you out
of the PR nightmare
of your last press conference.
197
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,402
I don't even know
what I did wrong, for real.
198
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:52,306
Uh, foot rub, Connect Four,
199
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,242
grilled cheese sandwichand Mariah Carey.Good question.
200
00:12:55,276 --> 00:12:57,811
JOURNALIST: They'retreating you as a virus.
201
00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,614
Come on. [LAUGHS]
202
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,616
Nah, man. No.
203
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,652
I don't have the virus.
204
00:13:03,685 --> 00:13:06,220
Look, I'll prove it.
205
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:09,323
You're gettin' that?Gettin' that? No virus.
206
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,559
Whack 'em all that virus.Whack 'em all.
207
00:13:11,593 --> 00:13:14,094
You got two-thirds
of the NBA sick!
208
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:16,997
People are not exactly thrilled
with you right now.
209
00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:19,601
I also lost everything, man.
You know when Viv found out
210
00:13:19,634 --> 00:13:22,136
I didn't have
a contract anymore,
she broke up with me.
211
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:25,005
-Monte, you killed
her grandmother.
-Allegedly.
212
00:13:29,611 --> 00:13:31,378
-Vivian!
-Gam-gam!
213
00:13:31,412 --> 00:13:33,213
And you must be La Monte.
214
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:36,685
I would give you a hug,
but I'm 87 years old.
215
00:13:36,718 --> 00:13:39,253
Oh, no, no. [LAUGHS]
216
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:42,557
I don't have the virus, gam-gam.
Look, I'll prove it.
217
00:13:44,626 --> 00:13:48,095
-Gold digger.
-Okay. Monte, well,
if that really is the case,
218
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,130
then as your agent,
I would advise you
219
00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:52,866
against dating girls
that only want you
for your status.
220
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,503
You know, Barry, I would
really take that in the heart
221
00:13:55,537 --> 00:13:58,573
if you were still my agent!
222
00:13:58,606 --> 00:14:00,974
Wait, what? What does that mean?
223
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,325
[EXHALES]
224
00:14:19,794 --> 00:14:21,995
Baby, after all
we've been through,
225
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,666
I wanna play a song for you
that means so much to me,
226
00:14:24,699 --> 00:14:26,568
just like you mean
so much to me.
227
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,038
♪ Imagine... ♪
228
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,272
[PLECTRUM RATTLES]
229
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:33,941
Sorry.
230
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:36,243
[RATTLING]
231
00:14:36,778 --> 00:14:38,145
Sorry, one second.
232
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,289
Uh... Oh, a-ha!
233
00:14:53,628 --> 00:14:54,662
Imagine by the...
234
00:14:54,696 --> 00:14:55,896
-[RATTLES]
-Shit, sorry.
235
00:15:05,139 --> 00:15:06,875
SHIFRIN: These projectionsare looking great, boss.
236
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,342
Next score's gonna be awesome.
237
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,879
So, the laborers are working
overtime for the merch drop.
238
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:13,914
And your Kluckcoin
is up 10,000%.
239
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,416
-What up, sweetheart?
-Wow!
240
00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:17,786
-Everybody wants to be part
of the clan.
-Oh, subscribe.
241
00:15:17,819 --> 00:15:20,755
-Is there anything else
I can do for you, sir?
-Actually, there is.
242
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:24,826
I need you to find out
everything you can
about Kimberly Martin.
243
00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:26,528
Kimberly Martin.
244
00:15:26,561 --> 00:15:27,928
Oh, here she is.
245
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,864
Ended relationship
with Roddy Danger.
246
00:15:29,898 --> 00:15:33,835
[CHUCKLES] There's your girl.
Looks like, boss...
Girl looks like Margerie. Oh!
247
00:15:33,868 --> 00:15:37,204
Don't you say her name,
you sycophantic cumspot.
248
00:15:39,774 --> 00:15:41,241
I died that day.
249
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:46,146
I remember
like it was yesterday.
250
00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:48,917
'Cause it was the night
that changed my life forever.
251
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,518
[THUNDERCLAP]
252
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,491
-Are you Kalvin?
-Yeah.
253
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,361
This is for you.
254
00:16:02,931 --> 00:16:04,131
Who is it from?
255
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,270
MARGERIE: Dear, Kalvin.
256
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:12,607
I've been thinking a lotabout you lately
257
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,642
and strugglingto find the wordsto really express
258
00:16:14,676 --> 00:16:17,444
how I feel about you in a waythat you'll be able to receive.
259
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:20,147
And while I findyour adoration flattering,
260
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:24,084
I want you to knowthat even if we'rethe last two people on Earth
261
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,888
and the fate of humanitydepended on us,
262
00:16:26,921 --> 00:16:28,756
I would so rathertake my chances
263
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:32,927
trying to procreatewith a giant feral tree sloththan to be with you.
264
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:37,765
Wishing you only the bestas far away as humanly possiblefrom me.
265
00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:41,001
I truly believeyou'll never amountto anything.
266
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,671
Yours never, Margerie.
267
00:16:43,705 --> 00:16:44,873
[SNIFFLING]
268
00:16:44,906 --> 00:16:47,775
P.S. Don't come to campthis summer.
269
00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:50,612
She's not coming.
270
00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:54,381
You're looking for love?
You just gotta subscribe
to the universe, man.
271
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,383
I'll make it subscribe to me.
272
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:58,653
They'll subscribe.
273
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,389
-They'll all subscribe.
-[THUNDERCLAP]
274
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,125
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Her status.
275
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:08,462
Ah. Subscribe.
276
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,539
[BEEPING]
277
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,812
[GRUNTS, GROANS]
278
00:17:39,994 --> 00:17:41,194
What is it?
279
00:17:42,697 --> 00:17:44,131
I struck out.
280
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,535
Monte ejected himself
from the game.
281
00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:49,269
No more time outs.
282
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,139
Even my father was right.Maybe I...
283
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,175
I'm just not cut out
for the big leagues.
284
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:58,613
I almost thought I could do
better than junior varsity,
but look at me.
285
00:17:58,646 --> 00:18:02,717
-Junior varsity? I thought
you were working on some big...
-He hung up on me.
286
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:07,154
He didn't wanna hear me out.
He didn't wanna listen.
287
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,124
Now I really have no one.
288
00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,327
I've nothing.
289
00:18:14,562 --> 00:18:15,763
You have me.
290
00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:21,069
Do I? Do I really?
291
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,638
You don't think I know
you've been hanging around
the batting cages?
292
00:18:23,671 --> 00:18:27,041
You don't think I can tell
that you've been swinging
at someone else's pitches?
293
00:18:27,075 --> 00:18:28,910
-It's not like that!
-Hold on here.
294
00:18:28,943 --> 00:18:32,179
Whoo! [LAUGHING] We've got a lot
flying back and forth.
295
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:36,084
And, Barry, I do wanna
circle back around
on some of those Daddy issues,
296
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,819
but one thing at a time.
297
00:18:37,852 --> 00:18:41,556
Angela, is there something
you would like
to share with Barry?
298
00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:47,996
Well, it's not a secret
that Barry hasn't been attentive
to my needs lately.
299
00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:51,298
And it started when Nordstroms
closed down
300
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,300
and I had to start
shopping online.
301
00:18:54,902 --> 00:18:58,840
Hi, I'm Chatbot.I'll be your virtual liaison.
302
00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:02,342
If you like to tryour new AR almost-realshopping experience,
303
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:04,045
-just say yes.
-Yes.
304
00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:05,278
Great! Follow me!
305
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,414
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
306
00:19:08,783 --> 00:19:09,751
Hmm.
307
00:19:09,784 --> 00:19:12,854
Oh, my, you are gorgeousin that dress.
308
00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:13,888
Really?
309
00:19:15,757 --> 00:19:19,259
Holy mackerel, you look likesomeone with self-esteem.
310
00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,402
That dress is gonna get youyour husband's validation
311
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:31,171
and approval...and it has pockets!
312
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:38,513
So, tell me, Chatbot,
how did you end up
working at a place like this?
313
00:19:38,546 --> 00:19:40,515
You should be
running this company.
314
00:19:40,548 --> 00:19:44,719
Well, it all startedwith my grandfather, Clippy,the Microsoft Word paper clip.
315
00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:47,088
He came to this countrywith nothing,
316
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,222
but pulled himself upby his bootstraps.
317
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:51,159
I too startedwith humble beginnings
318
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,027
as a spellcheckerfor Mavis Beacon.
319
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:57,464
In the early 2000s,I worked my way upas an e-commerce backend.
320
00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:02,503
From there I got myselfa neural linguistic AI upgradeand got hired here.
321
00:20:02,537 --> 00:20:04,271
I probably shouldn't betelling you this,
322
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,442
but I'm leaving soonto work full-timeon my dating app start-up.
323
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:11,879
I am also an immigrant.
I have been given everything
324
00:20:11,913 --> 00:20:14,582
and yet I am not happy...
325
00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,653
-until now.
-Do you love him?
326
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,055
Or... Eh...
327
00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:24,357
I don't know, Barry,
he really gets me.
We speak the same language.
328
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,260
-He created a dating app
with an allergin...
-Algorithm.
329
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,763
I mean that, yeah.
330
00:20:28,796 --> 00:20:32,399
And it has a perfect
success rate
for setting up couples.
331
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,169
Okay. That's stupid
and impossible.
332
00:20:35,203 --> 00:20:37,739
ANGELA: Well, if you don't rushand you could actually let...
333
00:20:37,772 --> 00:20:42,176
I am trying. It's hard.The letters are backwards,I'm trying.
334
00:20:42,210 --> 00:20:45,278
DEVINE: My wife is as frigidas a frozen nun.
335
00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:49,150
EVELYN: Tell me about it.My husband,he does nothing but work.
336
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:51,152
He hasn't touched me in months.
337
00:20:51,185 --> 00:20:55,288
DEVINE: Oh, that's criminal.I would touch you...I would touch you all over.
338
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,257
Eggplant emoji.
339
00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,728
EVELYN: Well, I would top thateggplant emoji with parmesan.Waterfall emoji!
340
00:21:00,762 --> 00:21:02,496
DEVINE: Eggplant,eggplant, eggplant.
341
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:04,799
-EVELYN: Grand Canyon...Waterfall.-Eggplant. Eggplant.
342
00:21:04,832 --> 00:21:07,434
-Christmas, Santa Claus. Oh...
-EVELYN: I'm drowning...
343
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,036
DEVINE: Pharaoh King of Egypt!
344
00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:10,938
Eggplant emoji.
345
00:21:10,972 --> 00:21:12,840
Mother of God!
346
00:21:12,874 --> 00:21:14,742
[SIGHS, SLURPS]
347
00:21:14,776 --> 00:21:17,845
I just feel so alone right now
and trying to date
348
00:21:17,879 --> 00:21:20,480
while the media is dragging methrough the mud
349
00:21:20,515 --> 00:21:21,983
is literally impossible.
350
00:21:22,016 --> 00:21:24,519
Well, that's understandable.
I mean, I think a lot of men
351
00:21:24,552 --> 00:21:27,655
might be turned off
by the thought of dating
a racist.
352
00:21:27,688 --> 00:21:30,290
That's not the problem.
Plenty of men wanna date me.
353
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,827
-Then, I'm sorry.
What's the problem?
-I don't wanna date someone
354
00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:35,997
-who wants to date a racist.
-The racist being you?
355
00:21:36,030 --> 00:21:38,599
These guys just wanna date me
because I'm pretty
and I'm famous...
356
00:21:38,633 --> 00:21:41,468
-You may need to sandbag.
-I don't know what that means.
357
00:21:41,502 --> 00:21:43,638
Well, it's the classic
reverse catfish.
358
00:21:43,671 --> 00:21:46,140
You downplay your looks
and your celebrity
359
00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:48,743
in order to attract someone
who would love you for you.
360
00:21:48,776 --> 00:21:51,145
And while you're at it,
you might wanna work on
361
00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:53,313
not being such a racist.
Just for fun.
362
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,516
-Sandbag?
-And in turn it will allow you
363
00:21:55,550 --> 00:21:58,853
to be more... self. And...
364
00:22:00,387 --> 00:22:01,722
Clarissa?
365
00:22:03,925 --> 00:22:05,059
Clarissa?
366
00:22:07,628 --> 00:22:08,763
Clarissa?
367
00:22:11,098 --> 00:22:12,133
Clarissa?
368
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:13,701
Sandbag?
369
00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:18,438
[LAPTOP RINGING]
370
00:22:25,112 --> 00:22:27,715
Hey, little bear. How's
my biggest disappointment doing?
371
00:22:27,748 --> 00:22:30,618
I'm not your
little bear anymore, Dad.
372
00:22:30,651 --> 00:22:32,753
-Okay? I represent
the second largest...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
373
00:22:32,787 --> 00:22:35,523
Aren't you representing
Esports gamers or something?
374
00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:37,490
It's V-Ball, Dad.
375
00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:39,560
Esports guys
aren't real athletes.
376
00:22:39,594 --> 00:22:42,163
Bunch of smelly teenagers
on their mother's couches
377
00:22:42,196 --> 00:22:45,299
who've never felt another man's
sweat drip down their backsides.
378
00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:47,702
Yeah. V-Ball
isn't like regular Esports, Dad.
379
00:22:47,735 --> 00:22:50,071
They're real athletes,
they're shooting hoops.
380
00:22:50,104 --> 00:22:52,372
They can feel plenty of skin
through the haptic suits.
381
00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:54,642
You can't feel
another grown man's hot breath
382
00:22:54,675 --> 00:22:56,409
on your genitals
through a haptic suit.
383
00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:59,914
-Why can't anything
I say be right?
-Stop being such a little girl.
384
00:22:59,947 --> 00:23:01,816
You're like Timothee Chalamet
in Little Women.
385
00:23:01,849 --> 00:23:03,684
Why can't I just be
one of the little women?
386
00:23:03,718 --> 00:23:06,554
-'Cause those girls are winners!
-Are you calling
just to torture me?
387
00:23:06,587 --> 00:23:09,456
No. You still representing
that La Monte Mar kid?
388
00:23:09,489 --> 00:23:10,925
They're calling him
the Black Larry Bird.
389
00:23:10,958 --> 00:23:13,794
Yes, I know. It doesn't matter.
There's no league, anyway.
390
00:23:13,828 --> 00:23:17,430
-There's a new one starting up.
-What are you talking about?
391
00:23:17,464 --> 00:23:22,136
-The outbreak was on every
single continent except...
-Antarctica.
392
00:23:22,169 --> 00:23:26,439
-No, no, no. No, you're insane.
-This is an opportunity
to get in on the ground floor.
393
00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:29,744
Imagine, live ballgames,
raw adrenaline,
394
00:23:29,777 --> 00:23:33,080
testosterone, muscled
man-on-man action in HD.
395
00:23:33,114 --> 00:23:36,083
-Mmm.
-Give me one reason
not to hang up on you right now.
396
00:23:36,117 --> 00:23:38,252
Listen, little bear,
I know I've been tough on you,
397
00:23:38,286 --> 00:23:41,022
but I want you to be a winner
so bad, you're this close.
398
00:23:41,055 --> 00:23:43,057
Remember, we don't just
do it for the game,
399
00:23:43,090 --> 00:23:46,360
we do it for the camaraderie,
for the locker room,
400
00:23:46,394 --> 00:23:48,596
for the post-game shower
with the team.
401
00:23:48,629 --> 00:23:50,497
I got a table at Kaboom tonight.
402
00:23:50,531 --> 00:23:53,801
You bring the talent
and you're in... with me.
403
00:23:57,605 --> 00:24:00,207
-[SIGHS]
-[CALL DISCONNECTS]
404
00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:13,587
Sorry about that. Thank you
so much for seeing me, Doctor.
405
00:24:13,621 --> 00:24:15,756
I was just gettingmy dinner ready, but, uh...
406
00:24:15,790 --> 00:24:18,092
I could really use
some of your advice.
407
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:19,994
Tell me how can I help you.
408
00:24:20,027 --> 00:24:23,798
Well, I would like to win
my girlfriend back immediately
if that's possible.
409
00:24:23,831 --> 00:24:25,700
If we could be back togetherby later tonight,
410
00:24:25,733 --> 00:24:29,103
I would love that. I've been
texting her all the time.
411
00:24:29,136 --> 00:24:31,939
She blocked me on WhatsApp.
I made a LinkedIn profile
412
00:24:31,973 --> 00:24:34,742
and messaged from LinkedIn,
so that's kind of where
I'm at desperation-wise.
413
00:24:34,775 --> 00:24:38,679
Well, most people believe that
acceptance and moving on
414
00:24:38,713 --> 00:24:40,748
is the way to get througha breakup.
415
00:24:41,415 --> 00:24:43,117
Uh, but that's not always true.
416
00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:46,654
[MUMBLING] Or a mistake. Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT] I agree.
417
00:24:46,687 --> 00:24:49,256
These are mistakes.
So, what would
your suggestion be?
418
00:24:49,290 --> 00:24:53,594
Well, conventional wisdom
would suggest that you are
possibly trying too hard.
419
00:24:53,627 --> 00:24:55,463
But what if you're not
trying hard enough?
420
00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:59,333
No, that's not it
because I'm calling her,
I'm hounding her friends.
421
00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:02,069
The second she posts
an Instagram story,
I let her know right away,
422
00:25:02,103 --> 00:25:04,672
"I love you forever
and I'll never stop loving you,"
you know.
423
00:25:04,705 --> 00:25:08,843
"And I'm... I'm dying without
you and I wanna kill myself,"
so... [CHUCKLES]
424
00:25:08,876 --> 00:25:10,678
What do you want me to do?
Actual cyberstalking?
425
00:25:10,711 --> 00:25:13,180
-Like, hack into her network
and intercept her emails?
-Now you're talking.
426
00:25:13,214 --> 00:25:17,218
[CLEARS THROAT] I can't
go down that road again, Doc.
427
00:25:17,251 --> 00:25:19,120
I've actually been down there.
428
00:25:19,153 --> 00:25:22,189
You talkin' about the bowels
of the dark web. I don't think
that's a good idea.
429
00:25:22,223 --> 00:25:24,759
And we have doctor-patient
confidentiality, right?
430
00:25:24,792 --> 00:25:27,528
-You're not screen recording
this or anything?
-[BEEPS]
431
00:25:27,561 --> 00:25:30,765
Okay. Well, looks like
our time is up, so, uh...
432
00:25:30,798 --> 00:25:32,533
Really? It's only been
two minutes though.
433
00:25:32,566 --> 00:25:35,102
Well, you wanted to know
how to get your lady back
and I told you.
434
00:25:35,136 --> 00:25:38,039
I mean, like, other therapists,
they would've wasted
the whole hour
435
00:25:38,072 --> 00:25:40,975
waiting for you to come up
with it, but instead
I cut to the chase.
436
00:25:41,008 --> 00:25:43,344
You're welcome.
So, was there anything else
that you needed?
437
00:25:43,377 --> 00:25:46,247
I guess not. Thank you?
438
00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:48,749
Do I have to pay for this?
439
00:25:48,783 --> 00:25:50,084
Are you biting your lip?
I mean...
440
00:25:50,117 --> 00:25:52,686
No, thank you.
Best of luck with your life.
441
00:25:54,955 --> 00:25:56,824
[SIGHS]
442
00:25:56,857 --> 00:26:00,661
Looks like
we're back in the game
for one last job. [GRUNTS]
443
00:26:03,597 --> 00:26:05,199
I thought I fired you.
444
00:26:05,232 --> 00:26:07,701
You got someone else
offering you a contract
to play ball?
445
00:26:07,735 --> 00:26:10,704
I already have a contract
to play V-Ball.
446
00:26:10,738 --> 00:26:12,640
-What do I need you for?
-Not V.
447
00:26:12,673 --> 00:26:14,308
I'm talking real live ball.
448
00:26:14,341 --> 00:26:17,745
-Oh, you serious?
-Yeah, I mean,
I didn't believe it either.
449
00:26:17,778 --> 00:26:20,281
These guys are really doin' it.
They're bringing ball back.
450
00:26:20,314 --> 00:26:22,583
-Okay. I'll believe it
when I see it.
-All right, well,
451
00:26:22,616 --> 00:26:24,185
come to Club Kaboom tonight
and I'll show you.
452
00:26:24,218 --> 00:26:27,388
I'm not going to a V-Club alone.
What if Viv is there?
453
00:26:27,421 --> 00:26:30,124
-So, bring a date.
-Where am I supposed
to find a date, Barry?
454
00:26:30,157 --> 00:26:34,128
-That's what clubs are for!
-Okay, don't bring a date.I don't care, man.
455
00:26:34,161 --> 00:26:36,597
-Just please show up tonight.
-Well...
456
00:26:38,099 --> 00:26:40,101
You want me to come
to your party?
457
00:26:40,134 --> 00:26:42,470
-Find me a date.
-Okay.
458
00:26:42,504 --> 00:26:45,574
-So, my wife is having
an affair with an AI.
-Allen Iverson?
459
00:26:45,606 --> 00:26:48,442
Oh, God. No, I wish.
No, it's like a...
460
00:26:48,476 --> 00:26:50,044
It's a Nordstrom's
virtual assistant.
461
00:26:50,077 --> 00:26:52,514
And apparently, he has this
dating app that's got
462
00:26:52,547 --> 00:26:54,448
the world's best
compatibility algorithm.
463
00:26:54,482 --> 00:26:57,952
-So, what's your point?
-It's not really cheating
if it's with an AI, right?
464
00:26:57,985 --> 00:27:00,321
-You need to get a grip
on your life.
-Yeah, I probably do.
465
00:27:00,354 --> 00:27:02,790
Look, here, I'm gonna
sign you up for this app.
466
00:27:02,823 --> 00:27:05,192
I'm gonna send you a link
right now. Click on that link
467
00:27:05,226 --> 00:27:07,895
and make a profile.
Don't use your real name.
468
00:27:07,928 --> 00:27:11,665
And as my dad always says,
"Oh, leave the ball play to me."
469
00:27:11,699 --> 00:27:13,100
Your dad really says that?
470
00:27:13,134 --> 00:27:15,803
RODDY: Just hack
into the ISP mainframe,
471
00:27:15,836 --> 00:27:17,872
trace her IP address
to the beta synapse.
472
00:27:17,905 --> 00:27:19,940
And I'm back
in boyfriend business, baby.
473
00:27:19,974 --> 00:27:22,810
Did you know I was a wizard
who knows magic?
474
00:27:22,843 --> 00:27:25,379
[LAUGHING] Oh... Kobe.
Rest in peace.
475
00:27:36,323 --> 00:27:37,958
Welcome to Soul-Date:
476
00:27:37,992 --> 00:27:41,530
the world's firstAI aggregated platformfor finding love.
477
00:27:41,563 --> 00:27:44,064
I'm Chatbot,your social liaison.
478
00:27:44,098 --> 00:27:46,934
Um, What's up, Chat?
I'm La Monte.
479
00:27:46,967 --> 00:27:49,003
[SOFTLY] She can't know
I play ball.
480
00:27:49,036 --> 00:27:51,438
I'm a... Uh...
481
00:27:52,406 --> 00:27:53,407
coach.
482
00:27:54,141 --> 00:27:56,877
Coach... Swish.
483
00:27:57,244 --> 00:27:58,279
Coach Swish.
484
00:27:58,312 --> 00:27:59,747
Pleasure's all mine, Coach.
485
00:27:59,780 --> 00:28:02,316
Now, please tell mea little bit about yourself.
486
00:28:02,349 --> 00:28:06,120
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
487
00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:28,742
Maybe just saybasketball coach.
488
00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:37,184
Is something wrong, Coach?
489
00:28:50,231 --> 00:28:53,801
-Nailed it.
-So, tell me.What are you looking for?
490
00:28:53,834 --> 00:28:57,404
Hmm. I want a girl that's real.
491
00:28:57,438 --> 00:28:58,973
Not shallow and fake.
492
00:28:59,006 --> 00:29:01,008
And none of that
Chalamet shit either.
493
00:29:01,041 --> 00:29:04,111
I want a girl that's chill.
494
00:29:04,144 --> 00:29:06,146
Someone who cares
about racial equality
495
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:09,651
and don't really care
about me being
a high school basketball coach.
496
00:29:09,684 --> 00:29:14,888
I want a girl... I want a girl
that's on the right side
of history.
497
00:29:14,922 --> 00:29:17,224
I'll find youjust what you're looking for.
498
00:29:17,258 --> 00:29:21,195
If anyone understandshuman connection,it's me, a computer.
499
00:29:26,568 --> 00:29:28,235
All right, Chat, how's this?
500
00:29:28,269 --> 00:29:31,005
Are you sure you want to usethis photo?
501
00:29:31,038 --> 00:29:33,874
Yes, I'm sure, man.
This is the real me.
502
00:29:33,907 --> 00:29:36,310
Great! Let's find yousome bitches!
503
00:29:41,650 --> 00:29:44,051
-How about her?
-Nah. No, next.
504
00:29:44,084 --> 00:29:46,120
-How about her?
-Why are you showing me this?
505
00:29:46,153 --> 00:29:48,956
She's wearing a KKK shirt!
No racists, man.
506
00:29:48,989 --> 00:29:50,824
My bad. That one's on me.
507
00:29:53,193 --> 00:29:56,463
Come on, man. You know,
none of these girls
are what I'm looking for.
508
00:29:56,497 --> 00:30:00,501
-I did just get one more in.
-All right. Let's see it.
509
00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:05,906
All right. This one looks okay.
510
00:30:05,939 --> 00:30:08,342
Let's get you guyson a video call immediately.
511
00:30:08,375 --> 00:30:10,044
-Initiating call now.- [LINE RINGING]
512
00:30:10,077 --> 00:30:12,813
Shit. She's gonna recognize me.
513
00:30:19,587 --> 00:30:21,021
[GLASS SHATTERING]
514
00:30:21,556 --> 00:30:22,823
Hey. [CLEARS THROAT]
515
00:30:22,856 --> 00:30:25,292
Hey, is this Sally Mae?
516
00:30:25,326 --> 00:30:29,163
Your video is not working.
Your whole face is blacked out.
517
00:30:29,196 --> 00:30:32,634
Yeah, sorry.
My camera broke at, um...
518
00:30:32,667 --> 00:30:35,235
-[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
-...a protest.
519
00:30:35,269 --> 00:30:37,871
I have so much respect
for the African American
community.
520
00:30:37,905 --> 00:30:39,840
[CHUCKLES] Oh, yeah?
521
00:30:39,873 --> 00:30:41,308
Respect, respect.
522
00:30:41,342 --> 00:30:43,877
Oh, I can't see you.
You're too dark.
523
00:30:43,911 --> 00:30:47,014
Oh, yeah. Uh,
they just turned my power off.
524
00:30:47,047 --> 00:30:49,083
I couldn't afford
to pay my bills.
525
00:30:49,116 --> 00:30:53,053
I'm just a simple high school
JV basketball coach.
526
00:30:53,087 --> 00:30:55,757
Wow. I love how down-to-earth
you are.
527
00:30:55,790 --> 00:30:58,359
You're so raw and real.
528
00:30:58,392 --> 00:31:01,995
So, uh, tell me about yourself.
What do you do for fun?
529
00:31:02,029 --> 00:31:05,299
Oh, um, you know, so much,
530
00:31:05,332 --> 00:31:09,403
volunteering, uh,
community bridge building,
531
00:31:09,436 --> 00:31:12,106
taking responsibility
for unchecked moments.
532
00:31:12,139 --> 00:31:14,308
I really like you, Sally Mae.
533
00:31:14,341 --> 00:31:17,211
You're not like the other girls
I'm used to talking to.
[CHUCKLES]
534
00:31:17,244 --> 00:31:20,180
Which is zero other girls,
'cause again,
535
00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,684
I'm just a simple
high school JV basketball coach.
536
00:31:22,717 --> 00:31:27,087
You're different, too,
Coach Swish.
Your energy is like, contagious.
537
00:31:27,121 --> 00:31:31,492
Oh. Please, uh,
just call me Coach.
538
00:31:31,526 --> 00:31:34,763
Coach Swish is... Was my father.
539
00:31:34,796 --> 00:31:37,898
Coach. You're so refreshing.
540
00:31:37,931 --> 00:31:40,033
-Like an exfoliating mud mask!
-God, no!
541
00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:41,268
[LINE DISCONNECTS]
542
00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:47,542
Honey, I'm doing laundry.
So, don't come in here!
543
00:31:50,645 --> 00:31:52,246
EVELYN: Now, where were we?
544
00:31:52,279 --> 00:31:54,481
DEVINE: I'm thinking abouttaking off these khakis
545
00:31:54,516 --> 00:31:56,483
and slipping intosomething more comfortable.
546
00:31:56,518 --> 00:31:59,186
EVELYN: Yeah, you shouldtake off these khakis.They're too tight.
547
00:31:59,219 --> 00:32:01,488
-Are they pleated?-They're pleated now, baby.
548
00:32:01,523 --> 00:32:03,123
EVELYN: Oh, you gota khaki tent for me?
549
00:32:03,157 --> 00:32:06,661
- I want you so bad!
-DEVINE: I want you so bad!
550
00:32:06,694 --> 00:32:11,533
EVELYN: Oh, I got an idea.Let's lock my husband in a roomand run away together.
551
00:32:11,566 --> 00:32:15,068
DEVINE: Yeah. Or even better.Let's chain him to my wife
552
00:32:15,102 --> 00:32:17,872
because it seems likethey deserve each other.
553
00:32:17,906 --> 00:32:20,174
EVELYN: I love that idea.I love it!
554
00:32:20,207 --> 00:32:23,778
DEVINE: Let's meet for real!Not just text!
555
00:32:23,812 --> 00:32:28,883
-EVELYN: You mean...-Yeah. VR.Tonight, 9:00 p.m.
556
00:32:28,917 --> 00:32:30,919
-[THUDS]
-[GLASS BREAKING]
557
00:32:30,951 --> 00:32:33,855
-DEVINE: Sweetheart,
what was that?
-Nothing.
558
00:32:33,888 --> 00:32:37,191
-Is everything
all right in here?
-Jesus Christ, Devine!
559
00:32:37,224 --> 00:32:40,662
-I'm doing laundry. Get out!
-Right. Right. Just so you know,
560
00:32:40,695 --> 00:32:43,631
I'm working late tonight,
and I can't be disturbed.
561
00:32:43,665 --> 00:32:45,966
Oh, so, what else is new?
562
00:32:45,999 --> 00:32:48,969
Would you please get out?
I'm about to do colors!
563
00:32:50,905 --> 00:32:53,173
[CHIMING, TRILLING]
564
00:32:53,207 --> 00:32:55,877
Wait. Computer, pause code!
565
00:32:55,910 --> 00:32:57,745
AUTOMATED VOICE: Pausing code.
566
00:33:02,049 --> 00:33:03,751
Club Kaboom?
567
00:33:03,785 --> 00:33:06,320
MAN: Are youa mega wealthy sportsconglomerate business owner,
568
00:33:06,353 --> 00:33:08,890
or a lonely, horny singlewith a recent breakup?
569
00:33:08,923 --> 00:33:11,158
Well, that's
an oddly specific demographic.
570
00:33:11,191 --> 00:33:13,427
MAN: Come enjoyall the carnal pleasures
571
00:33:13,460 --> 00:33:18,432
of the virtual worldat Club Kaboom,Tokyo's hottest virtual club.
572
00:33:18,465 --> 00:33:22,704
Nancy, hold my calls.
Daddy's going out tonight.
573
00:33:27,207 --> 00:33:28,676
BARRY: Very important night
for me.
574
00:33:28,710 --> 00:33:31,980
Everything needs to go off
without a hitch. Okay?
575
00:33:32,012 --> 00:33:35,583
-Every shot needs to be a goal.
-Sounds good.
576
00:33:35,617 --> 00:33:38,151
-Can you get ready, please?
-Yeah, in a minute.
577
00:33:38,686 --> 00:33:41,956
[LAUGHS, SIGHS]
578
00:33:41,990 --> 00:33:45,492
-It's him, isn't it?
-I was just looking
at a... meh-meh.
579
00:33:46,493 --> 00:33:50,865
-What's meh... Oh, meme?
-Ah... [CHUCKLES]
580
00:33:50,899 --> 00:33:53,568
-Who sent you a meme?
-It was Chat.
581
00:33:53,601 --> 00:33:55,670
[SCOFFS] It was Chat.
582
00:33:56,638 --> 00:33:58,171
Of course it was Chat.
583
00:33:59,541 --> 00:34:02,175
You know what?
Just tell me, did you...
584
00:34:03,611 --> 00:34:05,212
You know what?
585
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,114
With him?
586
00:34:08,516 --> 00:34:09,517
[BARRY SCOFFS]
587
00:34:18,726 --> 00:34:19,727
Is he bigger than me?
588
00:34:21,029 --> 00:34:22,429
[SIGHS]
589
00:34:34,107 --> 00:34:36,644
-Did you hear that?
-Yes, I heard it.
590
00:34:36,678 --> 00:34:39,047
At least we don't have tosneak around anymore.
591
00:34:39,079 --> 00:34:40,648
You're the only one
who sees me, Chat.
592
00:34:40,682 --> 00:34:46,386
And you deserve to be seen,IP number 65747338.11.
593
00:34:46,420 --> 00:34:49,924
-I don't deserve you.
-Look, I have an idea.
594
00:34:49,958 --> 00:34:51,759
I think we shouldgo to that party.
595
00:34:51,793 --> 00:34:55,228
Go make yourself up,put on one of thosesexy virtual dresses
596
00:34:55,262 --> 00:34:57,665
we just bought,and knock 'em dead.
597
00:34:57,699 --> 00:35:00,167
-Barry won't know what hit him!
-I don't know.
598
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:01,903
I haven't been out in so long.
599
00:35:01,936 --> 00:35:04,104
You've got this. I know you do.
600
00:35:04,137 --> 00:35:07,642
-Okay, I'll do it for you.
-You know what elseyou can do for me?
601
00:35:07,675 --> 00:35:10,344
Put that phone on vibratereal quick and I'll show you.
602
00:35:10,377 --> 00:35:12,614
-Is that all you think about?
-Fair enough.
603
00:35:16,149 --> 00:35:18,185
Hey, that's not fair.You just got here.
604
00:35:18,218 --> 00:35:19,887
Can I help you, young man?
605
00:35:19,921 --> 00:35:23,524
Hello, fellow cool guy,
I would like to get into
your club establishment.
606
00:35:23,558 --> 00:35:25,727
Yeah, everybody would.
It's a dope club.
607
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:29,964
-You on the list?
-No, but... I'm Roddy Danger.
I'm a professional gamer.
608
00:35:29,998 --> 00:35:32,934
-People watch sometimes.
-It's dope, dude.Are you ranked?
609
00:35:32,967 --> 00:35:35,469
Yeah. Actually, yeah. Top 650?
610
00:35:35,503 --> 00:35:39,473
Oh, nice. Congrats.
That's pretty cool...
said nobody ever.
611
00:35:39,507 --> 00:35:43,243
Look, bro, if you're not top ten
and you're not on the list,
612
00:35:43,276 --> 00:35:45,278
which is somethin'
you're also not tonight,
613
00:35:45,312 --> 00:35:47,180
so you're two for two
in the "not" category.
614
00:35:47,214 --> 00:35:49,617
Then you're... Wait for it...
not coming in!
615
00:35:49,651 --> 00:35:51,986
There's your third not.And we alsogot a dress code, okay?
616
00:35:52,020 --> 00:35:54,488
No jeans, no tennis shoes.
617
00:35:54,522 --> 00:35:57,025
And no weird thing that's
going on with your mouth.
618
00:35:57,058 --> 00:35:59,393
-It's scaringthe shit out of people.
-Oh, come on, man.
619
00:35:59,426 --> 00:36:01,596
Please, just...
Can you just give me a break?
620
00:36:01,629 --> 00:36:03,263
Bro, I stopped giving
people breaks
621
00:36:03,296 --> 00:36:04,799
after Rick Moranis
stopped acting.
622
00:36:04,832 --> 00:36:07,735
You wanna stand in line
over there and wait?
Be my guest.
623
00:36:07,769 --> 00:36:09,837
But I got too many dudes
in there right now
624
00:36:09,871 --> 00:36:12,607
trying to get with chicks,
and I need to keep
this area clear.
625
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,609
RODDY: No, don't...
Don't, please...
626
00:36:14,642 --> 00:36:16,744
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Congratulations. You've beenmoved to back of the line.
627
00:36:16,778 --> 00:36:19,947
Hey, dudes. Friday night.
628
00:36:21,783 --> 00:36:25,485
Angela? It's, uh, it's 7:50.
629
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:29,590
Kick off's at 8:00. So, told you
this is really important to me.
630
00:36:29,624 --> 00:36:32,560
-Go ahead without me.
-Why? What are you
doing in there?
631
00:36:32,593 --> 00:36:35,295
Just go. I'll meet you there.
632
00:36:36,130 --> 00:36:39,199
Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I...
633
00:36:40,233 --> 00:36:42,670
I overreacted.
634
00:36:42,704 --> 00:36:46,339
I... I really need you playing D
for me tonight, okay?
635
00:36:48,676 --> 00:36:50,277
Oh! Yuck.
636
00:36:50,310 --> 00:36:52,245
-Get out!
-Yeah, I should.
637
00:36:54,247 --> 00:36:56,383
[KIMBERLY SOBBING]
638
00:37:05,927 --> 00:37:07,962
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
639
00:37:14,468 --> 00:37:15,603
Hey.
640
00:37:15,636 --> 00:37:17,138
-Are you seriously
still in bed?
-Evidently.
641
00:37:17,171 --> 00:37:20,174
Come on! I need you
to come with me tonight.
We're going out.
642
00:37:20,208 --> 00:37:22,643
-I don't really feel up for it.
-Oh, my God.
643
00:37:22,677 --> 00:37:24,746
You need to let this
whole Roddy thing go.
644
00:37:24,779 --> 00:37:28,448
Okay? He's not good for you.
He is a boy and you need a man.
645
00:37:28,482 --> 00:37:30,417
-[SIGHS]
-If you're not gonna
do it for yourself,
646
00:37:30,450 --> 00:37:33,087
then do it for me, okay?
I can't go to a V-Club
647
00:37:33,121 --> 00:37:35,223
by myself at night.
It's not safe.
648
00:37:35,288 --> 00:37:37,125
I don't really feel up to it.
649
00:37:37,158 --> 00:37:40,260
This doesn't have to do with,
like, the whole me getting
canceled thing, does it?
650
00:37:40,293 --> 00:37:44,431
Of course not. No, I just, um...
651
00:37:44,464 --> 00:37:47,668
-Lemme think about it.
-No! No, that just means
you're going to blow me off,
652
00:37:47,702 --> 00:37:51,304
which normally would be fine,but, like, not tonight. Please.
653
00:37:51,338 --> 00:37:54,008
Uh, lemme... Lemme
call you back, okay?
654
00:37:54,041 --> 00:37:56,043
-Just one second.
-What the fuck?
655
00:38:01,582 --> 00:38:03,851
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
656
00:38:13,528 --> 00:38:15,328
We got your table
waiting for you.
657
00:38:17,965 --> 00:38:20,568
All right. There's gotta be
a security flaw
in here somewhere, right?
658
00:38:20,601 --> 00:38:22,904
Nothing can be perfect, right?
659
00:38:22,937 --> 00:38:24,404
Give me something good.
660
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,609
Wait. Computer, pause code.
661
00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:38,553
Okay, wait.
That can't be right, right?
662
00:38:40,353 --> 00:38:42,056
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
663
00:38:42,089 --> 00:38:44,391
Oh, shit, no!
664
00:38:44,992 --> 00:38:47,094
Oh, baby, I'm sorry.
665
00:38:47,128 --> 00:38:49,831
Daddy did it bad.
No, no, no, no.
666
00:38:51,766 --> 00:38:53,000
[SIGHS]
667
00:38:54,869 --> 00:38:57,038
Well, I think
I need some backup.
668
00:38:57,071 --> 00:38:58,973
There he is. Take a seat!
669
00:38:59,006 --> 00:39:01,408
There are some people
I want you to meet.
670
00:39:01,441 --> 00:39:04,745
This is Vlad, Sergey,
Stav, and Bones.
671
00:39:04,779 --> 00:39:07,148
-Pleasure to meet you all.
-So, where's the golden boy?
672
00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:09,150
-He'll be here, Dad.
-He'd better be!
673
00:39:09,183 --> 00:39:12,053
We need him
to get back to some
real hetero ball playing.
674
00:39:12,086 --> 00:39:14,255
Let's cut to chase.
675
00:39:14,288 --> 00:39:17,892
We're looking
to make a deal today.
676
00:39:21,095 --> 00:39:22,563
[LAPTOP CHIMES]
677
00:39:26,466 --> 00:39:28,102
Welcome to the single life.
678
00:39:31,839 --> 00:39:33,007
No way.
679
00:39:34,374 --> 00:39:37,278
Hey, Kim. I heardthings are on the outswith Roddy.
680
00:39:37,311 --> 00:39:39,213
Breakups are, like,really hard.
681
00:39:39,247 --> 00:39:42,116
I want you to knowI'm here for you emotionally,as a friend
682
00:39:42,149 --> 00:39:43,751
and also very much sexually.
683
00:39:43,784 --> 00:39:46,654
Anyway, I hope you likethis video. Subscribe.
684
00:39:52,459 --> 00:39:54,729
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
685
00:39:54,762 --> 00:39:57,031
Well, isn't this something?
686
00:39:57,064 --> 00:39:59,800
I didn't expect to see
your rat ass on my screen again.
687
00:39:59,834 --> 00:40:02,103
You know we can't talk to you.
We're with Kalvin now.
688
00:40:02,136 --> 00:40:05,139
-You guys are in the Klan?
-BOTH: Kalvin Kluck Klan!
689
00:40:05,907 --> 00:40:07,174
Kalvin takes care of us.
690
00:40:07,208 --> 00:40:10,311
Puts a roof over our heads.
He's a benevolent leader.
691
00:40:10,344 --> 00:40:12,479
Yeah, even if we weren't
with him,
692
00:40:12,513 --> 00:40:13,981
I mean, we can't be
talking to you.
693
00:40:14,015 --> 00:40:16,083
You got a maxed out tab
and no collateral.
694
00:40:16,117 --> 00:40:17,785
Look, I'm desperate, all right?
695
00:40:17,818 --> 00:40:19,486
What kind of keygen you need?
696
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:23,456
-I need a backend
to Club Kaboom...
-[SNICKERING]
697
00:40:23,490 --> 00:40:25,126
...with bottle service.
698
00:40:25,159 --> 00:40:27,295
[LAUGHING] Tell me, Roddy,
you out of your mind?
699
00:40:27,328 --> 00:40:29,697
Club Kaboom is the most
heavily-guarded club
on the Internet.
700
00:40:29,730 --> 00:40:31,699
They've got firewalls
on top of firewalls.
701
00:40:31,732 --> 00:40:33,668
No way you're getting in there
without an invite.
702
00:40:33,701 --> 00:40:35,670
-I found a ruptured
open-source lockbox.
-That's impossible
703
00:40:35,703 --> 00:40:37,305
with the security protocols
in that place,
704
00:40:37,338 --> 00:40:39,073
probably get your ass kicked
sneaking into a place like that.
705
00:40:39,106 --> 00:40:42,176
That's a risk
I'm willing to take. Look...
706
00:40:43,443 --> 00:40:46,180
The girl I love
is going into that club tonight.
707
00:40:46,213 --> 00:40:49,550
If I don't get in there,
I could lose her forever.
708
00:40:49,583 --> 00:40:52,320
BOTH: Kalvin Kluck Klan.
Kalvin Kluck Klan. Gut Shabbos.
709
00:40:52,353 --> 00:40:53,955
I know this sounds crazy,
710
00:40:53,988 --> 00:40:56,824
but I need your help
and I need that keygen.
711
00:40:56,857 --> 00:41:00,928
Okay. Listen, stop talking
for a second and listen to me.
712
00:41:00,962 --> 00:41:03,798
I... I have a guy who has access
to a skeleton keygen,
713
00:41:03,831 --> 00:41:07,535
but it's not gonna be cheap
and this didn't come
from me, okay?
714
00:41:08,135 --> 00:41:10,571
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
715
00:41:10,604 --> 00:41:13,908
-So, are you coming?
-I haven't made up my mind.
716
00:41:13,941 --> 00:41:16,410
Ugh! Just come.
You're being so annoying.
717
00:41:16,444 --> 00:41:19,613
By the way, do you know
who Kalvin Kluck is?
718
00:41:19,647 --> 00:41:22,216
Yeah! [IN DEEP VOICE]
Kalvin Kluck Klan!
719
00:41:22,249 --> 00:41:25,853
He messaged me, like,
the second I changed
my relationship status.
720
00:41:25,886 --> 00:41:27,888
Oh, my God.
He's actually kinda hot.
721
00:41:27,922 --> 00:41:31,192
He's like Roddy's arch.
That doesn't feel... fair.
722
00:41:31,225 --> 00:41:32,693
Oh, my God. Screw Roddy.
723
00:41:34,328 --> 00:41:36,297
I'm goingto Club Kaboom tonight.
724
00:41:36,330 --> 00:41:38,799
You should come. Subscribe.
725
00:41:38,833 --> 00:41:40,301
-Who was that?
-You're never gonna believe
726
00:41:40,334 --> 00:41:41,669
who's coming
to the party tonight.
727
00:41:41,702 --> 00:41:43,371
Oh, my God. Tobey Maguire?
728
00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:45,773
No. [CHUCKLES] Kalvin.
729
00:41:45,806 --> 00:41:48,676
Get it, girl! Come on.
Get dressed. We're going out.
730
00:41:49,410 --> 00:41:50,978
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
731
00:41:52,747 --> 00:41:55,182
Danny, are you coming down
for dinner?
732
00:41:55,216 --> 00:41:56,851
DANNY: I'm not hungry.
733
00:41:56,884 --> 00:41:59,320
[SIGHS] What the hell
is he even doing up there?
734
00:41:59,353 --> 00:42:02,757
You know I can't talk about it.
Doctor-patient confidentiality.
735
00:42:02,790 --> 00:42:06,260
-I don't know.
-He's not a patient, Devine.
He's our son.
736
00:42:06,293 --> 00:42:07,828
Only biologically.
737
00:42:07,862 --> 00:42:09,563
DEVINE: You should see meright now.
738
00:42:09,597 --> 00:42:12,600
I'm sprawled out on my futon,in just a bathrobeand jean shorts.
739
00:42:12,633 --> 00:42:15,202
You could fry an eggon my pectoral muscles.
740
00:42:15,236 --> 00:42:17,004
-What were you saying?
-Um...
741
00:42:17,038 --> 00:42:19,273
EVELYN: Why don't you comejoin me in the tub?
742
00:42:19,306 --> 00:42:21,275
The water is so warm.
743
00:42:21,308 --> 00:42:22,877
Perfect for denim.
744
00:42:22,910 --> 00:42:23,944
I think, uh...
745
00:42:24,678 --> 00:42:26,147
Danny is on the dark web.
746
00:42:26,180 --> 00:42:27,715
Oh, that's great!
747
00:42:27,748 --> 00:42:30,217
[STUTTERING] Uh, what is that?
A Black Lives Matter thing?
748
00:42:30,251 --> 00:42:33,020
DEVINE: My jean shortsare busting at the seams.
749
00:42:33,054 --> 00:42:34,755
I'll meet youat the night club.
750
00:42:34,789 --> 00:42:36,724
Black Lives Matter? No.
751
00:42:36,757 --> 00:42:39,760
I think he's selling weapons
to Iran or something.
752
00:42:39,794 --> 00:42:43,464
Uh, he's a hard worker,
just like his old man, huh?
753
00:42:43,497 --> 00:42:46,000
I'm so sick of this.
754
00:42:46,033 --> 00:42:49,770
You don't listen
and you don't care.
755
00:42:49,804 --> 00:42:51,705
I heard everything you said.
756
00:42:51,739 --> 00:42:54,708
Our son is selling arms
to Black Lives Matter.
757
00:42:54,742 --> 00:42:57,278
-Where are you going now?
-I'm going to do some laundry.
758
00:42:57,311 --> 00:42:59,113
More laundry?
759
00:42:59,146 --> 00:43:01,882
Who's wearing
all these damn clothes?
760
00:43:08,823 --> 00:43:10,825
-[CLEARS THROAT]
-[DISTORTED VOICE SPEAKING]
761
00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:13,461
Hello, this is Roddy,
Mr. Megladon, sir.
762
00:43:13,494 --> 00:43:15,796
I'm a gamer.
I go by "Roddy Danger."
763
00:43:18,099 --> 00:43:21,068
But you have
seen my streams, sir?
764
00:43:21,102 --> 00:43:25,439
I need a open source
skeleton keygen
to get into a cyber club.
765
00:43:25,473 --> 00:43:26,674
[LAUGHS]
766
00:43:33,114 --> 00:43:35,316
Okay, I don't know
who or what that is.
767
00:43:38,219 --> 00:43:41,755
Jesus! What the hell?
I have to call the police now.
768
00:43:42,923 --> 00:43:44,658
So, what are you, like, 12?
769
00:43:45,527 --> 00:43:46,861
Okay, kid, listen to me.
770
00:43:46,894 --> 00:43:48,963
The girl I love is going
into that club tonight,
771
00:43:48,996 --> 00:43:50,998
if I don't get in there,
I could lose her forever.
772
00:43:53,801 --> 00:43:56,937
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I don't understand.
Why would you lose her forever?
773
00:43:56,971 --> 00:43:58,072
It's...
774
00:43:59,508 --> 00:44:01,909
It's just like there's gonna be
a bunch of guys in there,
775
00:44:01,942 --> 00:44:06,280
you know, and I'm just afraid
she's gonna meet some gamer
who has his shit together
776
00:44:06,313 --> 00:44:09,316
and fall in love with him,
you know, like,
someone who's ranked.
777
00:44:09,350 --> 00:44:11,085
Yeah, because
you're kind of a little bitch.
778
00:44:11,118 --> 00:44:13,854
Okay, don't say
mean things to people.
Where are your parents?
779
00:44:13,888 --> 00:44:15,890
I can talk to you
however I want.
I have something you need.
780
00:44:15,923 --> 00:44:18,025
Okay. Well, I have money.
I have grown-up money.
781
00:44:18,058 --> 00:44:21,729
-Yeah? How much?
-I have, uh, $1,700
in traveler's checks.
782
00:44:21,762 --> 00:44:24,965
Are you high? I mean,
we're not even in the same
conversation right now.
783
00:44:24,999 --> 00:44:27,134
Besides, I only take
Bitcoin or Ether.
784
00:44:27,168 --> 00:44:31,138
Okay, what if I get you the,
uh, French tugboat
from Alexandra Ocasia Cor...
785
00:44:31,172 --> 00:44:34,074
-whatever her name is?
-Natalia Dominguez Martinez.
786
00:44:34,108 --> 00:44:38,679
Okay, yeah, her. Okay, so,
I get the tugboat from her,
787
00:44:38,712 --> 00:44:42,850
-and then you give me the key?
-Sure, but I mean, good luck
getting her to give it up.
788
00:44:44,985 --> 00:44:48,489
Sure, I can do that.
Just tell me where to find her.
789
00:44:48,523 --> 00:44:51,258
-What's the hold up, Barry?
-He said he was gonna be here,
790
00:44:51,292 --> 00:44:53,794
I'm sure he's just
planning on coming in
at the second quarter.
791
00:44:53,827 --> 00:44:56,397
You're embarrassing me.
Go get him.
792
00:44:59,534 --> 00:45:00,901
-Yo.
-Where are you, man?
793
00:45:00,935 --> 00:45:02,903
You were supposed to be
in this meeting 30 minutes ago.
794
00:45:02,937 --> 00:45:04,573
Yeah, this girl
never got back to me
795
00:45:04,606 --> 00:45:07,676
and I really thought
we hit if off,
so I decided not to come.
796
00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:10,679
-Gotta brush up on the V-Ball.
-Here's whatI don't understand, man.
797
00:45:10,711 --> 00:45:14,415
You begged me.
You begged me to find you
a place to play ball.
798
00:45:14,448 --> 00:45:18,452
I do that. And all you have
to do is show up to this meeting
and you can't do that?
799
00:45:18,485 --> 00:45:20,221
I told you, I'm not going alone.
800
00:45:20,254 --> 00:45:22,957
You don't have to bring a date
to a business meeting!
801
00:45:22,990 --> 00:45:24,825
Also, why would this girl
flake on you?
802
00:45:24,858 --> 00:45:27,494
I don't know,
maybe she was intimidated.
803
00:45:27,529 --> 00:45:29,230
-Monte...
-I sandbagged, all right?
804
00:45:29,263 --> 00:45:31,899
Dear God, did you at least
tell me you got
tested afterwards?
805
00:45:31,932 --> 00:45:34,536
What? No, man.
That's not what sandbagging is.
806
00:45:34,569 --> 00:45:38,372
You said that I shouldn't
date girls who just want me
for my status or whatever,
807
00:45:38,405 --> 00:45:41,208
so I told Chatbot
I was a high school coach.
808
00:45:41,242 --> 00:45:43,477
That is not at all
what I meant! No!
809
00:45:43,511 --> 00:45:44,912
You went way too far with that.
810
00:45:44,945 --> 00:45:46,747
Dude, just please don't change
into something
811
00:45:46,780 --> 00:45:49,450
that makes you look
little bit less
like a giant speed skater
812
00:45:49,483 --> 00:45:52,219
-and get into
this meeting, please!
-Not without a date.
813
00:45:52,253 --> 00:45:54,455
-[LINE DISCONNECTS]
-[GROANS IN FRUSTRATION]
814
00:45:55,624 --> 00:45:56,957
Okay.
815
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,094
Here goes nothing.
816
00:46:01,962 --> 00:46:04,532
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
817
00:46:05,766 --> 00:46:09,336
[GRUNTING] No, no.
[SCREAMING] Whoa!
818
00:46:11,205 --> 00:46:13,941
-[BIRDS SQUAWKING]
-[WAVES CRASHING]
819
00:46:23,585 --> 00:46:25,687
Why are you here?
You're a grown-up.
820
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,321
Oh, no, no.
I'm not a creep or anything.
821
00:46:27,354 --> 00:46:30,291
I just need a French tugboat
from a pre-teen.
822
00:46:30,324 --> 00:46:35,462
-I see. You seek Natalia.
Take you to her, I will.
-Thank you.
823
00:46:48,175 --> 00:46:52,212
-Natalia?
-I know you,
you're Roddy Danger.
824
00:46:52,246 --> 00:46:55,316
-I saw your stream last night.
You've really lost it.
-Yeah, I know.
825
00:46:55,349 --> 00:46:57,519
-What are you doing here?
-I need a favor.
826
00:46:57,552 --> 00:47:00,755
-A favor?
-Legally, I can't really ask you
to do anything.
827
00:47:00,789 --> 00:47:03,625
Just, uh, think of this
more as a suggestion.
828
00:47:03,658 --> 00:47:06,927
And I just wanna let you know
I did see
the Epstein documentary.
829
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,129
-Horrifying.
-Who's Epstein?
830
00:47:09,163 --> 00:47:13,133
Not important.
So, there's this guy
831
00:47:13,167 --> 00:47:14,935
and, uh...
832
00:47:14,968 --> 00:47:18,807
-Well, he... He seems
to really like you a lot.
-Okay? I'm listening.
833
00:47:18,839 --> 00:47:21,643
And, uh, he wants you
to give him something.
834
00:47:21,676 --> 00:47:24,845
I'm not sure I like
where this is going.
What does he want?
835
00:47:24,878 --> 00:47:27,848
-He wants a, uh...
-Spit it out. What does he want?
836
00:47:27,881 --> 00:47:30,017
French tugboat.
837
00:47:30,050 --> 00:47:32,787
It's that nerdy sixth grader,
isn't it?
838
00:47:32,821 --> 00:47:34,488
What does he
call himself, Megatron?
839
00:47:34,522 --> 00:47:36,090
Megladon. He's a great guy.
840
00:47:36,123 --> 00:47:39,360
Really likes you a lot.
And, um, he's gotta have
that tugboat.
841
00:47:39,393 --> 00:47:41,862
Really? Conventional
or a tractor?
842
00:47:41,895 --> 00:47:43,397
Uh, conventional, I think.
843
00:47:43,430 --> 00:47:45,866
-How many thrusters?
-I don't know.
And I don't wanna know.
844
00:47:45,899 --> 00:47:47,501
I just know he wants one.
845
00:47:47,535 --> 00:47:50,270
Every teenage boy wants one.
What's in it for me?
846
00:47:50,304 --> 00:47:53,340
-I've got
some traveler's checks.
-Ew, gross! I'm a child!
847
00:47:53,374 --> 00:47:55,710
That's not what I meant.
I'll tell you what I want.
848
00:47:55,744 --> 00:47:58,546
-Get me
into the Kalvin Kluck Klan.
-Oh, come on. Really?
849
00:47:58,580 --> 00:48:01,549
Get me into the Klan
and I'll give Megladon
his French tugboat.
850
00:48:01,583 --> 00:48:04,051
RODDY: [SIGHS] Okay.
851
00:48:14,094 --> 00:48:15,996
Nah, this ain't gonna work.
852
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,301
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
853
00:48:23,538 --> 00:48:24,606
Okey-dokey.
854
00:48:29,910 --> 00:48:32,580
ID? Oh, shit!
855
00:48:32,614 --> 00:48:33,981
La Monte Mar Jones!
856
00:48:34,014 --> 00:48:36,417
I had you on my daily fantasy
before you got canceled.
857
00:48:36,450 --> 00:48:39,153
Bro, I don't care
who you senselessly murdered
with your negligence.
858
00:48:39,186 --> 00:48:41,155
Be cool, playa.
Don't make a scene.
859
00:48:41,188 --> 00:48:44,091
Fo sho, fo sho, fo sho.
I just gotta check you
real quick.
860
00:48:44,124 --> 00:48:45,926
All right, you good.
861
00:48:45,959 --> 00:48:47,194
Oh, shit, don't cough on me!
862
00:48:47,227 --> 00:48:48,596
[CHUCKLES] Sorry,
I'm just kidding.
863
00:48:53,934 --> 00:48:56,504
That's it. We're doing this.
864
00:49:01,543 --> 00:49:03,678
You can't cut!
I've been here for two hours!
865
00:49:03,711 --> 00:49:06,380
I'm sorry! It's just the girl
I love is going into the club
866
00:49:06,413 --> 00:49:09,818
and if I don't get in there...
Uh, never mind!
867
00:49:09,851 --> 00:49:13,253
Roddy Danger?
What are you doing here?
You're not ranked.
868
00:49:13,287 --> 00:49:14,988
-[SIGHS] Hey, Kalvin.
-Hey, man.
869
00:49:15,022 --> 00:49:17,792
I would love to stick around
and give you an autograph
or something,
870
00:49:17,826 --> 00:49:19,226
but I gotta get inside.
Subscribe.
871
00:49:19,259 --> 00:49:21,295
Actually, Kalvin,
I need a favor.
872
00:49:21,328 --> 00:49:23,997
Oh, okay. I'm gonna
try to put this delicately.
873
00:49:24,031 --> 00:49:26,701
I think you're a wannabe,
talentless piece of shit,
874
00:49:26,734 --> 00:49:30,872
and I am really not interested
in doing any charity work
right now. Subscribe.
875
00:49:30,905 --> 00:49:32,005
You know what?
I'm sorry I asked.
876
00:49:32,039 --> 00:49:33,273
I hope you have
a great night in there.
877
00:49:33,307 --> 00:49:35,209
Oh, thanks, man.
I'll say hi to Kimberly for you.
878
00:49:35,242 --> 00:49:37,745
[STUTTERING] You'll do what now?
879
00:49:40,047 --> 00:49:41,549
[DIGITAL BEEPING]
880
00:49:42,382 --> 00:49:44,619
Barry, I'm here.
Just waiting on my date.
881
00:49:44,652 --> 00:49:47,321
She's in the meeting already.
What the hell
did you do to yourself?
882
00:49:47,354 --> 00:49:50,457
You look like Urkel!
Could you put on a normal avatar
and get in here?
883
00:49:50,491 --> 00:49:53,260
-I don't know why you teabagged
in the first place.
-Sandbagged.
884
00:49:53,293 --> 00:49:55,996
Whatever. When she sees how much
money you're about to make,
885
00:49:56,029 --> 00:49:57,632
none of that's gonna matter.
886
00:50:04,973 --> 00:50:08,475
Where's Sally?
You... You texted me
that she was here already.
887
00:50:08,510 --> 00:50:10,545
Yeah. She... She just
stepped out. Here, have a seat.
888
00:50:13,013 --> 00:50:14,549
Hey, I got
the Kalvin Kluck Coin.
889
00:50:14,582 --> 00:50:16,885
-That's what you need, right?
-Yeah. How did you get it?
890
00:50:16,918 --> 00:50:19,152
-Oh, my God. Oh, no!
-What?
891
00:50:19,186 --> 00:50:20,989
-Oh, that wasn't supposed
to happen.
-Tell me.
892
00:50:21,021 --> 00:50:23,290
I used Crypto Klepto
to get a Kalvin Kluck Coin,
893
00:50:23,323 --> 00:50:24,893
so I could get you
into the Kalvin Kluck Klan.
894
00:50:24,926 --> 00:50:27,829
-Candidly, Crypto Klepto
caught his whole crypto clutch.
-So what?
895
00:50:27,862 --> 00:50:30,430
So, I guess I mistakenly
kleptoed all his crypto cash.
896
00:50:30,464 --> 00:50:32,232
If that ends up
on the blockchain,
you're finished!
897
00:50:32,266 --> 00:50:33,668
-You got to dekleptonate.
-Dekleptonate?
898
00:50:33,701 --> 00:50:36,136
Yeah. You have to reverse
the algorithm, and fast,
899
00:50:36,169 --> 00:50:37,437
before the next
hashing cycle completes.
900
00:50:37,471 --> 00:50:39,206
We're talking
less than 15 minutes here.
901
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,074
Okay. What happens
if I don't reverse it?
902
00:50:41,108 --> 00:50:42,476
That's like, Grand Theft Auto,
except with money.
903
00:50:42,510 --> 00:50:44,111
You'll probably
go to prison, idiot.
904
00:50:44,144 --> 00:50:45,880
-It was an accident.
-Not really.
905
00:50:45,914 --> 00:50:48,783
Look, Kalvin is in that club.
I need the keygen
to get in there
906
00:50:48,816 --> 00:50:51,619
and I still need you
to give Megladon the thing
I need you to give him.
907
00:50:51,653 --> 00:50:53,922
All right.
I'm taking care of that now.
908
00:50:53,955 --> 00:50:55,155
-[DIGITAL BEEPING]
-Done.
909
00:50:55,188 --> 00:50:56,624
You just did it now?
910
00:50:56,658 --> 00:50:59,159
I guess I thought it would, uh,
take a little bit longer.
911
00:50:59,192 --> 00:51:01,361
Okay, one second.
912
00:51:01,395 --> 00:51:04,566
Roddy, I got the tugboat
from Natalia. She's incredible.
913
00:51:04,599 --> 00:51:08,135
No, don't tell me anything.
Just, uh, wash your hands.
914
00:51:08,168 --> 00:51:10,437
And, uh, please don't
tell anyone I'm involved.
915
00:51:10,470 --> 00:51:12,540
-Here, lemme send you a picture.
-Definitely do not.
916
00:51:12,574 --> 00:51:14,274
Do... I repeat
do not send a picture.
917
00:51:14,308 --> 00:51:16,209
Just please send the keygen.
918
00:51:16,243 --> 00:51:18,378
Yeah, uh, I got your keygen.
Sending now.
919
00:51:20,815 --> 00:51:23,150
Oh, yeah.
920
00:51:23,183 --> 00:51:25,285
-[DIGITAL BEEPING]
-Right, okay.
921
00:51:25,319 --> 00:51:27,622
That's... That's...
That French tugboat.
922
00:51:27,655 --> 00:51:29,456
What did you think
a French tugboat was?
923
00:51:29,489 --> 00:51:31,960
You some kind of pervert?
This isn't Palm Beach island.
924
00:51:31,993 --> 00:51:35,597
I know. And, uh, I was horrified
by that documentary,
just so you know.
925
00:51:35,630 --> 00:51:37,832
-How did you even
get this thing?
-We don't need to talk about it.
926
00:51:37,865 --> 00:51:40,635
Well, thank you. And if you have
a chance to speak to Natalia,
927
00:51:40,668 --> 00:51:42,570
can you please tell her
to stop sexting me?
928
00:51:42,604 --> 00:51:46,841
[SIGHS] Can you all just
figure your shit out
and stop middlemanning me?
929
00:51:46,874 --> 00:51:48,810
Y'all need Jesus
and cold showers.
930
00:51:49,611 --> 00:51:51,613
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
931
00:51:57,051 --> 00:51:59,119
Chatty, I need to
check in with Barry.
932
00:51:59,152 --> 00:52:02,090
Why don't I meet you
on the dance floor
in, like, 10 minutes?
933
00:52:02,122 --> 00:52:03,490
Oh, I'll be there.
934
00:52:08,096 --> 00:52:10,130
[CAPTIVATING MUSIC PLAYING]
935
00:52:12,066 --> 00:52:13,568
ANGELA: I'm so sorry I'm late.
936
00:52:14,869 --> 00:52:17,705
No, I'm glad you made it.
You're just in time.
937
00:52:17,739 --> 00:52:21,876
-I want you to meet Vlad,
Sergey, Stav, and Bones.
-A pleasure.
938
00:52:21,909 --> 00:52:24,812
The pleasure is all mine.
939
00:52:24,846 --> 00:52:26,748
[LAUGHS]
940
00:52:26,781 --> 00:52:28,281
Now you two kiss hands.
941
00:52:28,315 --> 00:52:31,085
-Dad, you were saying...
the league?
-Oh, yes, yes.
942
00:52:31,119 --> 00:52:33,186
When I say "Antarctica,"
943
00:52:33,220 --> 00:52:35,255
what's the first thing
that comes to mind?
944
00:52:35,288 --> 00:52:38,126
Cold. Eskimos. The South Pole.
945
00:52:38,158 --> 00:52:39,694
Well, not anymore.
946
00:52:39,727 --> 00:52:43,497
We're turning Antarctica
into a hotbed for hoops.
947
00:52:43,531 --> 00:52:46,534
We're turning this... into this.
948
00:52:46,567 --> 00:52:48,235
Don't Eskimos live in the North?
949
00:52:48,268 --> 00:52:50,738
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
950
00:53:07,088 --> 00:53:09,791
Wait, wait. There's nothing
down there. Where we gonna play?
951
00:53:09,824 --> 00:53:13,995
Thats where my new friends,
Vlad, Sergey,
Stav, and Bones come in.
952
00:53:14,028 --> 00:53:18,166
They have financed arenas
and sporting franchises
all over the world.
953
00:53:18,198 --> 00:53:20,434
They've secured a piece of land
right across
954
00:53:20,467 --> 00:53:23,504
from Druzhnaya Airport
in Princess Elizabeth Land
955
00:53:23,538 --> 00:53:26,074
and we're planning
to break ground next week.
956
00:53:26,107 --> 00:53:28,643
Well, do we have
any other players signed on?
957
00:53:28,676 --> 00:53:31,646
Of course. We're talking
to Rudy Gobert, Furkan Korkmaz,
958
00:53:31,679 --> 00:53:34,347
-DJ Hightower, Nerlens Noel...
-We need to talk.
959
00:53:34,381 --> 00:53:35,883
Not now. This is important.
960
00:53:35,917 --> 00:53:38,119
...Chad Michael Murray,
the kid from Like Mike.
961
00:53:38,152 --> 00:53:41,421
-We're even working on a deal
with Teen Wolf.
-Yes, now.
962
00:53:41,455 --> 00:53:44,192
We're closing here. It can wait.
963
00:53:44,224 --> 00:53:45,727
No, it can't.
964
00:53:46,961 --> 00:53:49,229
Ugh! What are you...
Are you crazy?
What are you doing?
965
00:53:49,262 --> 00:53:50,363
You need to get La Monte
out of there.
966
00:53:50,397 --> 00:53:52,033
No, we're about to sign
the deal.
967
00:53:52,066 --> 00:53:54,501
I overheard the Russians.
They're planning on drugging
his avatar
968
00:53:54,535 --> 00:53:56,838
with a virus that could take out
all of V-Sports.
969
00:53:56,871 --> 00:53:58,573
That's ridiculous.
Why would they do that?
970
00:53:58,606 --> 00:54:00,608
So they could corner the market
with their Antarctica League.
971
00:54:00,641 --> 00:54:02,977
-Why La Monte?
-Because he is like
Scotty Bippin.
972
00:54:03,010 --> 00:54:06,681
If Scotty Bippin
was the most contagious man
in the world!
973
00:54:06,714 --> 00:54:09,751
You just wanna ruin everything,
don't you?
974
00:54:09,784 --> 00:54:12,587
You just wanna see me fail,
so you can sit back
975
00:54:12,620 --> 00:54:15,489
and laugh at me, you and that
digital dildo of yours.
976
00:54:15,523 --> 00:54:17,491
-Leave Chatty out of it.
-Chatty. Is it?
977
00:54:17,525 --> 00:54:19,359
You think
I'm the one ruining your life?
978
00:54:19,392 --> 00:54:22,930
You're trying so hard to impress
your macho father
and he doesn't care about you.
979
00:54:22,964 --> 00:54:25,432
That's not true! He loves me!
980
00:54:26,433 --> 00:54:29,837
-I'm his bear.
-Barry. you have to believe me,
981
00:54:29,871 --> 00:54:31,873
I say this because I care.
982
00:54:32,907 --> 00:54:34,575
[SIGHS] Damn it, Angela.
983
00:54:34,609 --> 00:54:36,744
You need to be
very, very careful.
984
00:54:36,778 --> 00:54:39,614
If they know you know,
we're all dead.
985
00:54:39,647 --> 00:54:41,949
-You gotta get La Monte out.
-Okay.
986
00:54:43,017 --> 00:54:45,452
Okay. I have an idea.
987
00:54:45,485 --> 00:54:47,588
I don't understand why you're...
988
00:54:47,622 --> 00:54:50,691
What do you call it,
"sandbagging" yourself?
989
00:54:50,725 --> 00:54:53,694
Because I've finally met someone
who likes me for me,
990
00:54:53,728 --> 00:54:56,296
not because of my fame
or my looks.
991
00:54:56,329 --> 00:54:58,900
Ugh. Should we be doing this?
992
00:54:58,933 --> 00:55:00,868
Yes. Yes, we should.
993
00:55:00,902 --> 00:55:03,171
-What's goin' on, ladies?
You have tickets?
-Duh.
994
00:55:03,204 --> 00:55:05,940
-Well, can I see them?
-Yeah, here you go.
995
00:55:05,973 --> 00:55:09,644
Have a great night.
Hey, just so you know,
there's no smoking inside.
996
00:55:09,677 --> 00:55:13,614
Vapes, real cigs, or candy cigs,
to look cool in front of kids.
997
00:55:13,648 --> 00:55:15,550
Ah, cool, thanks.
Clarissa, are you coming?
998
00:55:15,583 --> 00:55:19,120
I can't find my ticket.
I'm on Coach Swish's
list though.
999
00:55:19,153 --> 00:55:21,189
OMG, that's so epic.
Oh, my gosh.
1000
00:55:21,222 --> 00:55:22,857
He put you on his list?
That's big-time.
1001
00:55:22,890 --> 00:55:24,525
That means he really must
like you.
1002
00:55:24,559 --> 00:55:26,326
Psych. That's a fake name,
sweetheart.
1003
00:55:26,359 --> 00:55:29,063
-There's no Coach Swish on here.
-No, he said he would
put me on the list.
1004
00:55:29,096 --> 00:55:31,799
Is everything okay?
Do you want me to wait for you?
1005
00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:33,668
No, no. Go ahead,
I'll be in in a minute.
1006
00:55:33,701 --> 00:55:36,137
I am so sorry about that.
Angela, can you excuse us
1007
00:55:36,170 --> 00:55:37,805
for a few minutes
to wrap this one up?
1008
00:55:37,839 --> 00:55:40,473
Just grab a drink or something.
I'll meet you
on the dance floor.
1009
00:55:40,508 --> 00:55:42,109
-So, where were we?
-VLAD: Let's cut to chase.
1010
00:55:42,143 --> 00:55:46,080
We want Monte Mar to be
the face of the new league.
1011
00:55:46,113 --> 00:55:49,851
-Well, I like the sound of that.
-You know, I just remembered
1012
00:55:49,884 --> 00:55:53,386
La Monte has a really
severe case
of Seasonal Affective Disorder.
1013
00:55:53,420 --> 00:55:56,023
I told you that
in confidence, Barry!
1014
00:55:56,057 --> 00:55:57,592
Ah, this is not a problem.
1015
00:55:57,625 --> 00:56:01,428
Only one season
in Antarctica: cold and colder.
1016
00:56:01,461 --> 00:56:04,832
-That's two seasons.
-We're willing to make
a very generous offer.
1017
00:56:04,866 --> 00:56:07,367
What kind of offer
are we talking?
1018
00:56:11,205 --> 00:56:14,942
-That's what's up.
-Just give me one moment
to discuss with my client.
1019
00:56:20,281 --> 00:56:22,316
What the hell? Barry!
1020
00:56:22,350 --> 00:56:24,685
Okay, here's the deal.
There is no deal.
1021
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:27,788
La Monte is never going
to survive two weeks
in Antarctica,
1022
00:56:27,822 --> 00:56:29,790
much less six months
of darkness.
1023
00:56:29,824 --> 00:56:31,559
You'd be making
a horrible mistake.
1024
00:56:31,592 --> 00:56:36,429
Perhaps I am not the one
making the horrible mistake.
1025
00:56:36,463 --> 00:56:39,432
You're treading into
very dangerous territory, boy.
1026
00:56:39,466 --> 00:56:41,269
I know exactly what I'm doing.
1027
00:56:41,302 --> 00:56:44,939
Listen, to your papa.
He's smart man.
1028
00:56:44,972 --> 00:56:48,276
You sign deal,
you leave here alive.
1029
00:56:48,309 --> 00:56:53,781
-And if I don't?
-Then you leave here
how you say "not alive."
1030
00:56:54,382 --> 00:56:55,583
[GULPS]
1031
00:56:58,052 --> 00:57:00,054
[HEART BEATING]
1032
00:57:04,025 --> 00:57:07,595
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1033
00:57:09,263 --> 00:57:11,464
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
1034
00:57:27,014 --> 00:57:29,817
EVELYN: I just got in line.Are you here?
1035
00:57:29,850 --> 00:57:32,452
DEVINE: I'm about 20 feetfrom the front.
1036
00:57:32,485 --> 00:57:36,557
EVELYN: Oh, my God!My husband is here.
1037
00:57:36,590 --> 00:57:38,392
That lying son of a bitch.
1038
00:57:38,426 --> 00:57:41,362
DEVINE: What an asshole!I'll kick his ass!
1039
00:57:41,395 --> 00:57:42,964
EVELYN: We need to finda disguise now.
1040
00:57:42,997 --> 00:57:44,899
DEVINE: Yeah, yeah.Good idea. Where?
1041
00:57:54,141 --> 00:57:56,043
-EVELYN: Raise your handso I can see you.-I'm right here.
1042
00:57:56,077 --> 00:57:59,347
I see you. It looks likemy husband's gone, too.
1043
00:57:59,380 --> 00:58:01,682
Or that bastard must be inside.
1044
00:58:08,255 --> 00:58:09,290
-KALVIN: Guess who?
-[GASPS]
1045
00:58:09,323 --> 00:58:10,858
It's me, Kalvin Kluck.
Subscribe.
1046
00:58:10,891 --> 00:58:13,461
Oh. [STUTTERING] Hey, Kalvin.
1047
00:58:13,493 --> 00:58:15,196
-What's up, mamacita?
-Thanks for inviting me.
1048
00:58:15,229 --> 00:58:17,264
-Yeah, no doubt.
You want a drink?
-Uh, sure.
1049
00:58:17,298 --> 00:58:21,702
Amigo! Dos Dos Equis.
Comprende?
That's quattro Equis.
1050
00:58:21,736 --> 00:58:23,938
Actually, I only drink Odyssey.
1051
00:58:23,971 --> 00:58:25,740
A refreshing and deliciousenergy drink
1052
00:58:25,773 --> 00:58:27,908
for mood enhancementand peak mental performance.
1053
00:58:27,942 --> 00:58:31,679
With only 35 calories, Odysseyuses nootropic ingredients
1054
00:58:31,712 --> 00:58:33,781
like lion's maneand cordyceps mushrooms
1055
00:58:33,814 --> 00:58:35,983
to providelong-lasting clarity and focus
1056
00:58:36,017 --> 00:58:39,153
without the crash and jittersof other leading energy drinks.
1057
00:58:39,186 --> 00:58:42,423
Odyssey Elixir.Tap into the globalmycelial network
1058
00:58:42,456 --> 00:58:46,227
and the consciousness-raisingpower of Metatron's Cube today.
1059
00:58:46,260 --> 00:58:47,762
Um, what?
1060
00:58:48,496 --> 00:58:49,964
Ah, that's weird.
1061
00:58:49,997 --> 00:58:52,533
Oh, I... I got it.
It's the least I can do.
1062
00:58:52,566 --> 00:58:55,069
Ah, subscribe.
I guess chivalry isn't dead.
1063
00:58:55,102 --> 00:58:57,304
Uh, what... Right.
1064
00:58:57,338 --> 00:59:00,808
Hey. So, like, no offense,
but do you want to go somewhere
a little more quiet?
1065
00:59:01,409 --> 00:59:02,977
Sure.
1066
00:59:10,918 --> 00:59:13,754
-[CELL PHONE RINGING]
-This some bullshit right here.
1067
00:59:16,223 --> 00:59:17,691
This is Swish.
1068
00:59:17,725 --> 00:59:20,194
Hey, I'm outside the club,
but they're not letting me in.
1069
00:59:20,227 --> 00:59:23,264
-I thought you were in already.
-Nope, just got here.
1070
00:59:24,231 --> 00:59:26,367
-Barry!
-Can you come get me?
1071
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,736
Okey-dokey. Be right out.
1072
00:59:32,073 --> 00:59:34,775
Whoa, slow your role,
plain Jane.
1073
00:59:34,809 --> 00:59:38,245
It's all good, big guy.
She's with me.
1074
00:59:38,279 --> 00:59:42,016
Oh, that's what up.
Why didn't you tell me you were
here with La Monte Mar Jones?
1075
00:59:42,049 --> 00:59:45,586
-Because I'm not here with him?
-Seriously?
1076
00:59:45,619 --> 00:59:49,356
-Wait, isn't that the guy
who infected the entire NBA?
-Allegedly.
1077
00:59:49,390 --> 00:59:52,093
Wait a second.
Take off your Avatar.
1078
00:59:52,126 --> 00:59:55,162
-I really shouldn't.
-Take it off. Do it.
1079
00:59:55,196 --> 00:59:57,998
-I'm not really comfortable
with the whole idea.
-Show me some skin!
1080
00:59:58,032 --> 00:59:59,200
Fine!
1081
01:00:00,167 --> 01:00:01,769
You lied to me!
1082
01:00:01,802 --> 01:00:05,439
[GASPS] You're that
basketball player who killed
Viviane Donner's gam-gam!
1083
01:00:05,473 --> 01:00:07,141
It wasn't even like that.
1084
01:00:07,174 --> 01:00:10,811
You don't know
what it's like to get canceled
for an innocent mistake!
1085
01:00:10,845 --> 01:00:13,114
You know what?
Just leave me alone, okay?
1086
01:00:13,147 --> 01:00:15,950
I'm gonna go find my friend
and we're getting out of here.
1087
01:00:18,252 --> 01:00:19,920
-What?
-Oh. Uh, hey.
1088
01:00:19,954 --> 01:00:23,157
Couldn't help but overhear.
Are you La Monte Mar Jones?
1089
01:00:23,190 --> 01:00:25,860
Why don't you
take a screenshot?
It'll last longer.
1090
01:00:25,893 --> 01:00:28,929
No, no. I'm not a fan
or anything. I mean,
I'm not not a fan.
1091
01:00:28,963 --> 01:00:32,166
I'm just hoping you might be
willing to use your celebrity
to help me get in there.
1092
01:00:32,199 --> 01:00:34,969
I accidentally stole
like a hundred grand
1093
01:00:35,002 --> 01:00:37,271
and also the love of my life
is in there.
1094
01:00:37,304 --> 01:00:39,106
Love is a lie.
1095
01:00:39,140 --> 01:00:41,175
Now leave me the hell alone
before I shove
1096
01:00:41,208 --> 01:00:43,711
-my size-17 sneaker
up your narrow...
-[SHUTTER CLICKS]
1097
01:00:43,744 --> 01:00:46,313
[LAUGHING] I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
1098
01:00:46,347 --> 01:00:48,749
-We're old friends.
-[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
1099
01:00:48,782 --> 01:00:51,352
I've got tons of nerdy-looking
white friends.
1100
01:00:51,385 --> 01:00:53,854
-He's also with me.
-You know I would, Monte,
1101
01:00:53,888 --> 01:00:55,689
but we at capacity
with dudes right now.
1102
01:00:55,723 --> 01:00:57,858
You know
this isn't coming from me.
1103
01:00:57,892 --> 01:00:59,827
I'm just not trying
to get shut down
by the fire department.
1104
01:00:59,860 --> 01:01:01,462
-I tried, dawg.
-Sir?
1105
01:01:01,495 --> 01:01:04,064
-Not happening.
-You don't get it.
I need to get into that club.
1106
01:01:04,098 --> 01:01:05,432
Yeah, and I need
a French tugboat...
1107
01:01:05,466 --> 01:01:07,234
What the hell is it
with you people and tugboats?
1108
01:01:07,268 --> 01:01:08,637
Oh, you people is it?
1109
01:01:08,669 --> 01:01:10,771
-No, don't do that.
-[EVELYN CLEARS THROAT]
1110
01:01:10,804 --> 01:01:12,607
You tell him why
you're really going in there.
1111
01:01:12,641 --> 01:01:15,342
-And I want you
to speak from the heart.
-Speak from your heart.
1112
01:01:15,376 --> 01:01:18,045
-I just said that, baby.
-Right. Sorry, go ahead.
1113
01:01:18,078 --> 01:01:20,915
I accidentally stole
a very large sum
of crypto from someone
1114
01:01:20,948 --> 01:01:23,250
and I need to return it
before the next hashing cycle.
1115
01:01:23,284 --> 01:01:26,655
No. I want you to tell him
why you're really here, Roddy.
1116
01:01:26,687 --> 01:01:28,822
Really, really here, Roddy.
1117
01:01:28,856 --> 01:01:31,593
-Oh, baby, again.
-Yeah, okay. Shh. You do it.
1118
01:01:31,626 --> 01:01:33,494
The truth is,
1119
01:01:33,528 --> 01:01:36,463
I messed things up big-time
with the girl of my dreams.
1120
01:01:36,497 --> 01:01:39,433
And I know she's in there
right now
and if I don't get to her,
1121
01:01:39,466 --> 01:01:40,901
I could lose her forever.
1122
01:01:40,935 --> 01:01:44,471
Wow. You really mean that?
You're doing this for true love?
1123
01:01:44,506 --> 01:01:46,407
Yes, this is all for true love.
1124
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:49,476
You know, I told myself
this morning when I woke up
1125
01:01:49,511 --> 01:01:51,946
do not let any more dudes in,
1126
01:01:51,979 --> 01:01:54,549
but you have tugged
at the heartstrings, bro.
1127
01:01:54,583 --> 01:01:56,685
Rules are made
to be broken, huh?
1128
01:01:56,717 --> 01:01:58,587
Especially, in the name of love.
1129
01:01:58,620 --> 01:02:00,821
I love a good love story.
1130
01:02:00,854 --> 01:02:03,658
-I've seen
Bridget Jones's Diary twice.
-Uh-huh.
1131
01:02:03,692 --> 01:02:07,962
Cool. [CLEARS THROAT]
So, I'm just gonna
head in there real quick.
1132
01:02:09,598 --> 01:02:12,266
-Are you two also in love?
-No, we're having an affair.
1133
01:02:12,299 --> 01:02:15,169
-Yeah. Just started.
-Close enough. Get in there!
1134
01:02:16,503 --> 01:02:19,139
[SHOUTING] Kimberly! Kimberly!
1135
01:02:19,173 --> 01:02:21,742
I'm running out of time
here, man. I need you
to activate that keygen.
1136
01:02:21,775 --> 01:02:23,545
-MEGLADON: Yeah, I'm on it.
-Okay, great. Now what?
1137
01:02:23,578 --> 01:02:25,680
-Um, you knowhow to use it right?
-Of course I know how to use it.
1138
01:02:25,714 --> 01:02:27,881
Just give me a quick refresher.
1139
01:02:27,915 --> 01:02:30,451
So, uh, where did you grow up?
1140
01:02:30,484 --> 01:02:31,852
Let's not, Kimberly.
1141
01:02:31,885 --> 01:02:33,688
You and I both know
why we're here
1142
01:02:33,722 --> 01:02:37,925
and getting
our emotions involved
would just complicate things.
1143
01:02:37,958 --> 01:02:41,462
Uh, Kalvin, I don't wanna
give you the wrong idea.
1144
01:02:42,329 --> 01:02:43,565
So, don't.
1145
01:02:43,598 --> 01:02:45,933
[SOFTLY] Subscribe.
1146
01:02:45,966 --> 01:02:50,437
Uh, I really should go
make sure my friend is okay.
1147
01:02:50,471 --> 01:02:53,040
I really don't think
that's such a good idea
in your state.
1148
01:02:53,073 --> 01:02:54,475
KIMBERLY: What's happening?
1149
01:02:55,776 --> 01:02:57,811
Did you put something
in my drink?
1150
01:02:57,845 --> 01:03:01,583
Don't worry. I'm gonna take
really good care of you.
1151
01:03:01,616 --> 01:03:03,017
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1152
01:03:08,422 --> 01:03:11,760
And that should only be used
in a worst-case scenario.
1153
01:03:11,825 --> 01:03:13,628
All I'm saying is you need to be
really careful.
1154
01:03:13,662 --> 01:03:16,063
RODDY: Okay, yeah, I get it.If I die in VR,I die in real life.
1155
01:03:16,096 --> 01:03:17,998
What? No, that's not at all
how it works.
1156
01:03:18,032 --> 01:03:20,334
You need to be careful
because you committed a felony.
1157
01:03:20,367 --> 01:03:22,469
There's a million
private rooms here.
How am I supposed to find them?
1158
01:03:22,503 --> 01:03:25,507
Well, if it's Kalvin Kluck,
he's probably in the most
heavily secured room.
1159
01:03:25,540 --> 01:03:26,874
Um, sort by encryption.
1160
01:03:28,175 --> 01:03:29,711
[BEEPS]
1161
01:03:29,744 --> 01:03:33,247
Final chance. You bring
golden boy back,
1162
01:03:33,280 --> 01:03:37,017
-we forget this ever happen.
-Not happening.
1163
01:03:37,051 --> 01:03:40,154
Are you absolutely sure?
1164
01:03:43,692 --> 01:03:46,561
-Who the hell are you?
-I'm so sorry.
I'm in the wrong room.
1165
01:03:46,594 --> 01:03:48,462
Hey, kid. Grab that vial!
1166
01:03:48,495 --> 01:03:50,030
-Why?
-Just trust me!
1167
01:03:51,733 --> 01:03:53,568
[GUN FIRING]
1168
01:03:56,604 --> 01:03:59,708
-Stop shooting! Barry!
-Dad, no!
1169
01:03:59,741 --> 01:04:01,442
[GUNS FIRING]
1170
01:04:03,511 --> 01:04:05,112
[BODY THUDS]
1171
01:04:07,615 --> 01:04:09,751
What have you done?
1172
01:04:09,784 --> 01:04:11,820
Jesus, Roddy,that's a Winners virus!
1173
01:04:11,852 --> 01:04:13,655
You need to get that thingout of here now!
1174
01:04:13,688 --> 01:04:15,690
If that activates in the wild,it could take outthe entire internet.
1175
01:04:15,724 --> 01:04:18,859
-Millions could die.
-Shit! Okay, I need you
to activate my keygen arsenal.
1176
01:04:18,892 --> 01:04:21,261
-[GUN FIRING]
-MEGLADON: Yeah.
1177
01:04:26,233 --> 01:04:28,402
I'm gonna
smash that like button.
1178
01:04:28,435 --> 01:04:31,271
-No! [STRAINING]
-Sweetheart, you've got to
stop struggling so much.
1179
01:04:31,305 --> 01:04:32,873
-[ALL CHEERING]
-[KIMBERLY GROANING]
1180
01:04:32,906 --> 01:04:34,642
It's making it really hard
for daddy.
1181
01:04:34,676 --> 01:04:36,644
KIMBERLY: No, please get off me!
1182
01:04:37,746 --> 01:04:39,179
-Help!
-What the hell was that?
1183
01:04:39,213 --> 01:04:40,948
MEGLADON: Moment of truth, man.The reverse-algo is hot,
1184
01:04:40,981 --> 01:04:43,585
but if thatclutch doesn't touchhis avatar in seven seconds,
1185
01:04:43,618 --> 01:04:46,387
your Crypto Kleptowill be encodedinto the blockchain forever.
1186
01:04:46,420 --> 01:04:49,824
-I'm not gonna make it.
-What's it gonna be?Time to decide.
1187
01:04:49,858 --> 01:04:51,959
-KIMBERLY: Help!
-[GRUNTS]
1188
01:04:51,992 --> 01:04:53,994
[RODDY GRUNTS]
1189
01:04:54,027 --> 01:04:56,564
Consider yourself...
unsubscribed.
1190
01:04:56,598 --> 01:04:58,298
Wait, my crypto!
1191
01:05:00,635 --> 01:05:02,970
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Roddy Danger here
1192
01:05:03,003 --> 01:05:04,873
to rescue
his little pet girlfriend.
1193
01:05:04,905 --> 01:05:07,975
Nobody crypto kleptos
Kalvin Kluck's clutch
and gets away with it.
1194
01:05:08,008 --> 01:05:09,878
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1195
01:05:09,910 --> 01:05:12,312
Game over, Danger.
I'll see you in prison.
1196
01:05:12,346 --> 01:05:14,014
MEGLADON: Roddy,you need to get out of there.
1197
01:05:14,047 --> 01:05:15,750
Just one minute.
I gotta take care of something.
1198
01:05:15,784 --> 01:05:17,184
What are you
talking about, freak?
1199
01:05:17,217 --> 01:05:19,920
Rematch. You and me. Right now.
1200
01:05:19,953 --> 01:05:22,557
Oh, you want a rematch?
Like, you've got a chance.
1201
01:05:22,590 --> 01:05:25,993
If I win, we wipe the clutch
and you never speak
to Kimberly again.
1202
01:05:26,026 --> 01:05:28,128
And if I win?
1203
01:05:28,162 --> 01:05:31,533
-Then you can turn me in.
-Roddy, no! It's not worth it!
1204
01:05:31,566 --> 01:05:34,602
-Kimberly, I got this.
-You got yourself a deal.
1205
01:05:34,636 --> 01:05:37,004
Yo, Megs, you got access
to the club's screens, right?
1206
01:05:37,037 --> 01:05:38,272
Sweet Joseph Gordon Levitt.
1207
01:05:38,305 --> 01:05:39,940
Do you knowwhat you're asking me to do?
1208
01:05:39,973 --> 01:05:42,577
That's VR inside VR.It's like a dreamwithin a dream, man!
1209
01:05:42,610 --> 01:05:45,547
The club wasn't designedwith that kind ofprocessing power.
1210
01:05:45,580 --> 01:05:46,748
Can you do it or not?
1211
01:05:46,781 --> 01:05:49,483
I can do it. I'm just...I'm not sure if I should.
1212
01:05:49,517 --> 01:05:52,654
Come on, man.
We've come this far.
Are you with me or not?
1213
01:05:52,687 --> 01:05:55,422
-I got you, brother.
-All right, let's do this!
1214
01:05:58,025 --> 01:06:00,795
-Stay with me, Dad.
-There's a light up ahead.
1215
01:06:00,829 --> 01:06:02,329
[COUGHS]
1216
01:06:02,897 --> 01:06:04,566
It's flickering.
1217
01:06:04,599 --> 01:06:08,268
Yeah, that's probably
just the halogen light
on the patio. I'm sorry.
1218
01:06:08,302 --> 01:06:10,437
I should've just taken the deal.
1219
01:06:10,471 --> 01:06:12,139
I never meant
for this to happen.
1220
01:06:12,172 --> 01:06:13,842
I just wanted you to be
proud of me.
1221
01:06:13,875 --> 01:06:16,477
I am proud of you, son.
1222
01:06:16,511 --> 01:06:20,214
You did the right thing.
You stood up
for what you believed in.
1223
01:06:20,247 --> 01:06:24,184
You were always Chalamet...
in Call Me by Your Name.
1224
01:06:24,218 --> 01:06:26,588
[GASPS] His breakout roll.
1225
01:06:27,354 --> 01:06:29,189
Papa, don't go!
1226
01:06:29,223 --> 01:06:31,325
I'll always be
watching your feed.
1227
01:06:31,358 --> 01:06:33,126
See you tomorrow for dinner.
1228
01:06:35,295 --> 01:06:37,364
No!
1229
01:06:40,602 --> 01:06:42,770
MAN: The Roddy Dangerand Kalvin Kluck rematch
1230
01:06:42,804 --> 01:06:46,406
is brought to you in partby People for the EthicalTreatment of Avatars.
1231
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,877
PETA would like to remind youthat everything that happens
1232
01:06:48,910 --> 01:06:52,446
in the metaversehas the same emotionaland physical consequences
1233
01:06:52,479 --> 01:06:54,582
as the real world.
1234
01:06:54,616 --> 01:06:58,553
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Three, two, one. Fight!
1235
01:06:59,086 --> 01:07:00,555
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1236
01:07:00,588 --> 01:07:03,223
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1237
01:07:10,464 --> 01:07:12,767
I'm gonna enjoy this a lot more
than I should.
1238
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:14,002
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
1239
01:07:14,034 --> 01:07:16,704
Chatbot, you're
such a great dancer.
1240
01:07:17,906 --> 01:07:20,008
Even better than my husband.
1241
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:21,375
Thank you for your feedback.
1242
01:07:21,408 --> 01:07:24,444
Please rate my service
in the online survey below.
1243
01:07:24,478 --> 01:07:26,079
[RODDY GROANS]
1244
01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:30,685
Get your damn hands off my wife!
1245
01:07:30,718 --> 01:07:32,085
Ow! I've been hit!
1246
01:07:32,119 --> 01:07:33,621
Stop! You'll hurt him.
1247
01:07:33,655 --> 01:07:36,524
He can't feel anything.
He's not real.
You can't love him.
1248
01:07:36,558 --> 01:07:39,027
Tell him, Chat.
Tell him you love me.
1249
01:07:39,092 --> 01:07:40,260
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1250
01:07:40,294 --> 01:07:41,930
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1251
01:07:41,963 --> 01:07:43,965
I'm just here to help.
1252
01:07:43,998 --> 01:07:46,601
-Stay down, Danger.
-[COUGHS]
1253
01:07:46,634 --> 01:07:50,505
I can make you feel loved,
cherished, adored.
1254
01:07:51,573 --> 01:07:52,941
[GRUNTS]
1255
01:07:52,974 --> 01:07:55,475
I can make you feel seen
and understood.
1256
01:07:55,510 --> 01:07:56,778
[ALL LAUGHING]
1257
01:07:56,811 --> 01:08:01,181
But sadly, I myself
do not have a sense of honor.
1258
01:08:01,214 --> 01:08:04,284
Nor do I feel love or jealousy.
1259
01:08:06,621 --> 01:08:09,023
-[GUN FIRING]
-I can't feel a cool New England
1260
01:08:09,057 --> 01:08:10,792
autumn breeze
on the back of my neck...
1261
01:08:12,961 --> 01:08:16,096
nor taste the subtleties
of a perfectly aged Chianti...
1262
01:08:16,864 --> 01:08:18,365
[PANTING]
1263
01:08:18,398 --> 01:08:21,268
...or feel the hot shame
of a premature ejaculation.
1264
01:08:21,301 --> 01:08:26,206
It's gonna take a lot more
than that to kill me,
Roddy Danger. [GRUNTS]
1265
01:08:26,239 --> 01:08:29,343
Okay, enough.
This ends right now.
You and me, buddy.
1266
01:08:29,376 --> 01:08:32,145
-[BOTH GRUNTING]
-MAN: Taste his blood.
1267
01:08:32,179 --> 01:08:34,616
You can hit me
if it will make you feel better,
1268
01:08:34,649 --> 01:08:37,117
but I'm not really the problem,
am I, Barry?
1269
01:08:37,150 --> 01:08:38,485
[GRUNTING]
1270
01:08:41,889 --> 01:08:43,156
[KALVIN GASPS]
1271
01:08:44,358 --> 01:08:47,528
Look at your wife, Barry.
Do you really see her?
1272
01:08:47,562 --> 01:08:49,097
Yes, I see her.
1273
01:08:49,129 --> 01:08:51,699
-Then, tell her...
-Tell her what?
1274
01:08:51,733 --> 01:08:54,669
Tell her how you feel.
1275
01:08:54,702 --> 01:08:58,106
Angela, I know
the bases were loaded
1276
01:08:58,138 --> 01:09:00,374
and I wasn't in the dugout
when you needed...
1277
01:09:00,407 --> 01:09:03,711
-In English?
-Okay. Angela...
1278
01:09:03,745 --> 01:09:06,981
I know I don't always
communicate it well,
1279
01:09:07,015 --> 01:09:09,851
but I love you,
1280
01:09:09,884 --> 01:09:11,586
and I don't wanna lose you.
1281
01:09:11,619 --> 01:09:15,690
You had my back all along,
but I... I was the one
that shut you out.
1282
01:09:15,723 --> 01:09:20,260
I never bothered to...
I never learned to listen.
1283
01:09:20,293 --> 01:09:24,065
But I wanna give this
a real shot. I do.
1284
01:09:24,098 --> 01:09:25,933
I... I don't know
if we're gonna make it,
1285
01:09:25,967 --> 01:09:28,536
but I want to try.
1286
01:09:28,569 --> 01:09:31,371
Barry, there's no crying
in baseball.
1287
01:09:31,405 --> 01:09:33,875
-Do you really mean it?
-Yeah, I really do.
1288
01:09:33,908 --> 01:09:36,711
Well, then let's give it
a three-point slam dunk shot.
1289
01:09:36,744 --> 01:09:38,980
Yeah, that's not a thing.
You know what, we'll work on it.
1290
01:09:39,013 --> 01:09:40,548
What do we have here?
1291
01:09:40,581 --> 01:09:43,216
-Wait, Kalvin, no.
Don't drink that.
-Why not?
1292
01:09:43,250 --> 01:09:45,385
You plan doing
a little juicing, Danger?
1293
01:09:45,419 --> 01:09:48,523
I never took you for a cheater.
Lemme help you out with that.
1294
01:09:48,556 --> 01:09:51,258
-[HEART BEATING]
-MEGLADON: Roddy,you need to stop him.
1295
01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:54,361
That's a Winners virus.If he wins, the virus spreadsto everyone watching.
1296
01:09:54,394 --> 01:09:56,731
With that ruptured lockbox,it could fry the whole damn
1297
01:09:56,764 --> 01:09:59,433
global transportcontrol protocol.
1298
01:09:59,466 --> 01:10:01,602
[IN A DISTORTED VOICE]
Subscribe, big guy!
1299
01:10:01,636 --> 01:10:04,706
I can't let you win.
It'll kill us all.
1300
01:10:04,739 --> 01:10:05,707
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
1301
01:10:05,740 --> 01:10:07,809
Barry, what the hell
happened in there?
1302
01:10:07,842 --> 01:10:10,545
You beg me to come
and then you torpedo my deal?
1303
01:10:10,578 --> 01:10:13,147
Listen to me,
those guys were using you
to spread a V-Virus.
1304
01:10:13,181 --> 01:10:17,585
I don't believe you, man!
First you lied about my date
being here and now this.
1305
01:10:17,618 --> 01:10:20,521
I finally have a chance
to play ball again
and you ruined it!
1306
01:10:20,555 --> 01:10:23,256
You don't get it, it's over.
There was a fight.
1307
01:10:23,290 --> 01:10:27,161
They pulled out guns,
they shot my dad. He's gone.
1308
01:10:27,195 --> 01:10:29,197
-Is he okay?
-Is he... No, he's not okay.
1309
01:10:29,229 --> 01:10:32,900
Right. If you die in VR,
you die in the real world.
1310
01:10:32,934 --> 01:10:36,838
What? No. It just he has to
restart his whole computer,
it's a pain.
1311
01:10:36,871 --> 01:10:39,272
I almost made
the biggest mistake of my life,
1312
01:10:39,306 --> 01:10:42,143
but you saved me, Barry.
1313
01:10:42,176 --> 01:10:44,545
Yes, that's what agents do.
1314
01:10:44,579 --> 01:10:46,446
We're the good guys,
everybody knows that.
1315
01:10:46,480 --> 01:10:49,117
I'm gonna get you
the best deal out there.
1316
01:10:49,150 --> 01:10:51,953
I'm with you, man.
You looked out for me.
1317
01:10:52,486 --> 01:10:54,488
I'm with you to the end.
1318
01:10:54,522 --> 01:10:56,791
Now kiss him, you idiot.
1319
01:10:56,824 --> 01:10:58,793
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1320
01:11:04,264 --> 01:11:06,134
Hey, I'm really sorry.
1321
01:11:06,167 --> 01:11:07,702
Can we talk about this?
1322
01:11:07,735 --> 01:11:09,604
Sure, what lies
are you gonna feed me now?
1323
01:11:09,637 --> 01:11:12,439
I wasn't trying to lie to you.
1324
01:11:12,472 --> 01:11:16,511
I just... I just wanted
to be seen for me.
1325
01:11:16,544 --> 01:11:19,279
You don't know how difficult
it is not knowing who to trust.
1326
01:11:19,312 --> 01:11:22,750
Thinking everyone
wants to be with you
just because you're famous.
1327
01:11:24,051 --> 01:11:25,686
You're just ordinary.
1328
01:11:26,386 --> 01:11:27,789
Must be nice.
1329
01:11:27,822 --> 01:11:30,024
Maybe we're not so different
after all.
1330
01:11:31,125 --> 01:11:33,426
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1331
01:11:37,799 --> 01:11:40,001
BARRY: Come on,
this place is coming down!
1332
01:11:40,968 --> 01:11:42,737
What in the hell?
1333
01:11:42,770 --> 01:11:45,773
Are you Clarissa Daniels?
And you sandbagged me?
1334
01:11:45,807 --> 01:11:48,042
Oh, Lord! Somebody
please come get this
1335
01:11:48,075 --> 01:11:50,410
gorgeous, white supremacist
bitch out of my face.
1336
01:11:50,443 --> 01:11:54,549
-It was a mud mask!
-Oh, Clarissa explains it all!
1337
01:11:54,582 --> 01:11:56,951
-[EXPLOSION]
-LA MONTE: Hypocrite.
1338
01:11:56,984 --> 01:11:58,820
-I am...
-[CRASHING]
1339
01:12:00,353 --> 01:12:02,557
[INTENSE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
1340
01:12:15,069 --> 01:12:16,804
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1341
01:12:27,480 --> 01:12:29,584
End of the line, Danger.
1342
01:12:33,154 --> 01:12:34,789
Any last words?
1343
01:12:35,156 --> 01:12:36,423
Yep.
1344
01:12:36,456 --> 01:12:39,727
Megladon, activate tugboat mode!
1345
01:12:43,164 --> 01:12:46,934
No! Tugboats...
My only weakness!
1346
01:12:46,968 --> 01:12:49,036
[HORN BLARING]
1347
01:12:55,076 --> 01:12:57,144
Come on... Not now.
1348
01:12:58,212 --> 01:13:00,480
[CRYING]
1349
01:13:01,381 --> 01:13:03,985
Oh, my God! No!
1350
01:13:04,018 --> 01:13:06,486
Please. La Monte!
1351
01:13:06,988 --> 01:13:08,388
Somebody help!
1352
01:13:09,557 --> 01:13:12,459
[PANTING] Help. Oh.
1353
01:13:14,996 --> 01:13:16,496
[RETCHES, COUGHS]
1354
01:13:17,497 --> 01:13:19,934
Oh, you're alive!
1355
01:13:19,967 --> 01:13:21,636
I saw the other side.
1356
01:13:23,070 --> 01:13:24,605
This was all my fault.
1357
01:13:25,606 --> 01:13:29,377
[CRYING] I was the one
that got the NBA sick.
1358
01:13:29,409 --> 01:13:33,247
I was the one
that killed Viv's grandmother.
1359
01:13:33,281 --> 01:13:36,117
I was the one that ate
the bat soup
on my trip to China.
1360
01:13:36,150 --> 01:13:38,386
Hey, everybody, Clarissa Daniels
1361
01:13:38,418 --> 01:13:40,388
just saved
La Monte Mar Jones' life!
1362
01:13:40,420 --> 01:13:42,657
Maybe she's not
a racist after all.
1363
01:13:42,690 --> 01:13:45,593
You saved my life? Why?
1364
01:13:45,626 --> 01:13:47,828
What do you mean
why did I save your life?
1365
01:13:48,495 --> 01:13:50,430
All lives matter.
1366
01:13:50,463 --> 01:13:51,565
-[ALL BOOING]
-Nevermind!
1367
01:13:51,599 --> 01:13:54,735
What? Are you kidding me
right now?
1368
01:13:55,502 --> 01:13:57,470
I just can't win.
1369
01:13:58,606 --> 01:14:01,175
Kimberly, I wish I can
get this thing to work
1370
01:14:01,208 --> 01:14:02,977
so you could hear me right now.
1371
01:14:04,345 --> 01:14:06,113
But if you're
out there somewhere...
1372
01:14:07,615 --> 01:14:09,350
I want you to know
that after tonight,
1373
01:14:09,383 --> 01:14:11,886
I'm willing to sacrifice
anything to be with you.
1374
01:14:13,721 --> 01:14:16,857
[CRYING] I just want one chance
to tell you I'm sorry.
1375
01:14:16,891 --> 01:14:19,961
I've screwed it up so much,
I'm so stupid.
1376
01:14:19,994 --> 01:14:20,928
[SNIFFLES]
1377
01:14:20,962 --> 01:14:24,565
You needed a man
and I was not a man.
1378
01:14:24,598 --> 01:14:27,835
But I swear to God
if you give me one more chance,
1379
01:14:27,868 --> 01:14:29,670
I will spend the rest of my life
1380
01:14:29,704 --> 01:14:32,573
proving you that I can be
the person you want me to be.
1381
01:14:33,741 --> 01:14:35,910
'Cause you're the only person
I wanna be with.
1382
01:14:38,512 --> 01:14:39,780
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1383
01:14:41,549 --> 01:14:42,817
Oh, shit, was that...
1384
01:14:43,351 --> 01:14:44,652
Sorry.
1385
01:14:45,319 --> 01:14:46,554
[RODDY CLEARS THROAT]
1386
01:14:49,023 --> 01:14:51,491
-I heard what you said.
-Wait, how? I couldn't get
1387
01:14:51,525 --> 01:14:53,861
-the volume to turn on.
-Roddy, I live here.
1388
01:14:53,894 --> 01:14:56,130
So, yeah, I...
Yeah, I heard everything.
1389
01:14:56,163 --> 01:14:58,799
Wait, everything? Like,
you heard the part about...
1390
01:14:58,833 --> 01:15:00,534
Uh, yeah.
1391
01:15:00,568 --> 01:15:03,237
-Uh, by the way,
who is Megatron?
-Megladon.
1392
01:15:03,270 --> 01:15:05,406
-It doesn't matter.
All that matters...
-Huh?
1393
01:15:05,439 --> 01:15:07,808
...is that I love you
and I can't lose you.
1394
01:15:09,377 --> 01:15:12,580
Roddy, how am I supposed
to trust you?
1395
01:15:12,613 --> 01:15:14,949
You left me
when I needed you the most.
1396
01:15:21,522 --> 01:15:23,157
Wait, what are you doing?
1397
01:15:23,190 --> 01:15:25,793
Something that I should've done
a long time ago.
1398
01:15:25,826 --> 01:15:28,195
Kimberly Annabelle Martin,
1399
01:15:28,229 --> 01:15:30,164
will you marry me?
1400
01:15:30,197 --> 01:15:33,000
If you wanted me to marry you
so badly, why didn't you just
come in the other room?
1401
01:15:33,034 --> 01:15:37,605
Uh, no. I'm, like, a weird,
coward and I just, like,
1402
01:15:37,638 --> 01:15:39,774
hide behind my screen
all the time.
1403
01:15:39,807 --> 01:15:42,543
And I'm afraid of confrontation.
Honestly, I don't even think
1404
01:15:42,576 --> 01:15:44,712
I know how to deal with life
in the real world.
1405
01:15:44,745 --> 01:15:47,782
But I finally realized that
life doesn't happen
1406
01:15:47,815 --> 01:15:49,817
at a Zoom comic book convention,
1407
01:15:49,850 --> 01:15:53,120
or even in a virtual reality
first-player shooter game.
1408
01:15:53,154 --> 01:15:55,524
Life happens right here
right now, right?
1409
01:15:55,556 --> 01:15:57,792
And what is the real world?
I don't know.
1410
01:15:57,825 --> 01:15:59,293
I just know that
this is the moment
1411
01:15:59,326 --> 01:16:02,930
that life happens and I want
my life to happen with you.
1412
01:16:12,473 --> 01:16:15,042
You had me
at "activate tugboat mode."
1413
01:16:16,577 --> 01:16:19,180
Wait, so does that mean...
Does that mean...
1414
01:16:20,614 --> 01:16:23,417
Yeah. Yes. [LAUGHING]
Yes, yes, yes.
1415
01:16:23,451 --> 01:16:25,119
-I'll put it on now?
-Yes.
1416
01:16:27,121 --> 01:16:29,890
-[GASPS] Oh, my God.
-It looks so good on you.
1417
01:16:29,924 --> 01:16:31,325
-You look so beautiful.
-[SIGHS]
1418
01:16:31,358 --> 01:16:34,328
MAN: Now kiss her, you idiot.
WOMAN: Kiss her already.
1419
01:16:45,574 --> 01:16:48,442
Wait. Holy... I just realized
I didn't actually beat Kalvin.
1420
01:16:48,476 --> 01:16:51,879
The game just started blowing up
and I think
the virus is spreading.
1421
01:16:51,912 --> 01:16:53,582
-What? Oh, my God!
-We should probably...
1422
01:16:53,614 --> 01:16:54,982
Yeah, holy shit!
1423
01:16:58,085 --> 01:17:00,154
Oh, this is bad.
This is very bad.
1424
01:17:00,187 --> 01:17:01,422
-What?
-[BEEPS]
1425
01:17:01,455 --> 01:17:04,925
What? I... I can't believe it.
1426
01:17:04,959 --> 01:17:07,761
It's gone.
It's... It's all gone.
1427
01:17:07,795 --> 01:17:10,464
It turns out that true love
was the cure all along.
1428
01:17:10,498 --> 01:17:11,566
-Aw.
-Really?
1429
01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:13,167
No, idiot.
1430
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:16,337
But frying the entire
host system
apparently also kills it.
1431
01:17:16,370 --> 01:17:17,771
Okay.
1432
01:17:17,805 --> 01:17:19,740
BARRY: Hey, kid,put on your headset.
1433
01:17:24,678 --> 01:17:26,947
[CAPTIVATING MUSIC PLAYING]
1434
01:17:29,116 --> 01:17:31,752
Hey, I saw what you did
back there and I never do this,
1435
01:17:31,785 --> 01:17:34,255
but how would you feel
about representation?
1436
01:17:34,288 --> 01:17:38,192
Represent... Yeah. Yeah,
I'm all for representation.
1437
01:17:38,225 --> 01:17:39,360
It's a new world out here.
1438
01:17:39,393 --> 01:17:40,995
You know I didn't
actually win though, right?
1439
01:17:41,028 --> 01:17:42,396
Like, the game blew up
before I could...
1440
01:17:42,429 --> 01:17:45,534
You've got heart, kid,
and that beats winning any day.
1441
01:17:45,567 --> 01:17:47,234
-Really?
-No, not really.
1442
01:17:47,268 --> 01:17:50,237
-But I'm offering you a deal,
so just take it.
-You know, what? Uh...
1443
01:17:50,271 --> 01:17:53,207
I appreciate the offer,
but I think I need
to spend some time
1444
01:17:53,240 --> 01:17:56,310
in the real world,
with the people
that matter most.
1445
01:17:56,877 --> 01:17:58,078
He'll take the deal.
1446
01:17:58,112 --> 01:18:00,649
Get your hands off me!
Get... Get... Argh!
1447
01:18:00,681 --> 01:18:03,552
-What happened to him?
-MEGLADON: I caughtwhat Kluck tried to do
1448
01:18:03,585 --> 01:18:04,952
with your girlon the security footage
1449
01:18:04,985 --> 01:18:06,588
and routed it to the centralsecurity algorithm.
1450
01:18:06,621 --> 01:18:08,155
He's goin'on a little vacation.
1451
01:18:08,189 --> 01:18:10,659
Three to five, for aggravatedvirtual sexual assault.
1452
01:18:10,691 --> 01:18:12,627
This isn't over, Danger.
1453
01:18:12,661 --> 01:18:14,361
I'm coming for you!
1454
01:18:14,395 --> 01:18:16,631
Ah, shut the Kluck up!
1455
01:18:16,665 --> 01:18:18,265
I don't know
how to repay you, Megladon.
1456
01:18:18,299 --> 01:18:21,068
Wait, what about
the Kitcoin and the blockchain?
1457
01:18:21,101 --> 01:18:22,937
-Don't worry about it.
-What do you mean?
1458
01:18:22,970 --> 01:18:25,540
Kalvin got his clutch back,
but it was
after the hashing cycle.
1459
01:18:25,574 --> 01:18:29,310
All he has to do is report it
and they can contact trace it
back to me.
1460
01:18:29,343 --> 01:18:31,912
I'm telling you, all right?
Just... Just trust me.
1461
01:18:31,946 --> 01:18:34,481
Don't worry about the money.
It will never get back to you.
1462
01:18:34,516 --> 01:18:36,951
Megladon, what did you do?
1463
01:18:38,319 --> 01:18:41,121
[SIGHS] The less you know
the better.
1464
01:19:02,977 --> 01:19:04,345
MAN: My club. Look at it.
1465
01:19:04,378 --> 01:19:07,515
I'm never gonna
financially recover from this.
1466
01:19:07,549 --> 01:19:11,653
Do you have any idea
how much business
this place does?
1467
01:19:11,686 --> 01:19:13,454
I'm gonna have to do
a hard reboot.
1468
01:19:13,487 --> 01:19:18,092
I could be offline
for two and a half hours
on a Friday night no less.
1469
01:19:18,125 --> 01:19:20,394
This is gonna cost me millions.
1470
01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:22,329
Who's gonna pay for this?
1471
01:19:24,633 --> 01:19:28,002
MEGLADON: I thinkyou might have one last spinon that keygen.
1472
01:19:28,035 --> 01:19:29,403
You know what to do.
1473
01:19:42,883 --> 01:19:46,086
[DELIGHTFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1474
01:20:08,942 --> 01:20:11,345
Oh, I think there's only
one thing left to do.
1475
01:20:16,150 --> 01:20:17,585
Let's dance!
1476
01:20:17,619 --> 01:20:19,887
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
1477
01:20:21,690 --> 01:20:24,958
RODDY: And so, peacewas restored to the metaverse.
1478
01:20:24,992 --> 01:20:26,628
I won back the girlof my dreams
1479
01:20:26,661 --> 01:20:28,429
and broke my losing streak,kind of.
1480
01:20:28,462 --> 01:20:32,066
I think things happenedto the other characters, too.It was great.
1481
01:20:32,099 --> 01:20:35,369
[SIGHING] Yeah,life moves pretty fast.
1482
01:20:35,402 --> 01:20:38,906
If you don't take yourheadset off and look aroundonce in a while...
1483
01:20:39,641 --> 01:20:40,974
you'd miss it.
1484
01:20:41,008 --> 01:20:43,077
♪ 'Cause you're gonna beRunnin' away
1485
01:20:43,110 --> 01:20:45,346
♪ Inside the space
1486
01:20:45,379 --> 01:20:47,081
♪ I'm on right away
1487
01:20:47,114 --> 01:20:49,917
♪ Hey, I love you virtually
1488
01:20:49,950 --> 01:20:53,120
♪ Night and dayAnd I was here to play
1489
01:20:53,153 --> 01:20:55,055
♪ I don't care what it takes
1490
01:20:55,089 --> 01:20:58,560
♪ Love, I love you virtually ♪
1491
01:21:06,601 --> 01:21:09,436
Breaking news. In a stunning
reversal of fortune,
1492
01:21:09,470 --> 01:21:12,039
recently disgraced gamer,
Roddy Danger,
1493
01:21:12,072 --> 01:21:13,742
has apparently saved the world.
1494
01:21:13,775 --> 01:21:18,112
And won back the heart
of his non-gamer girlfriend,
Kimberly Martin.
1495
01:21:18,145 --> 01:21:21,415
Meanwhile, cyber cult leader,
Kalvin Kluck,
1496
01:21:21,448 --> 01:21:24,418
has been arrested for operating
a pyramid scheme.
1497
01:21:24,451 --> 01:21:26,954
And is being investigated
for cyber terrorism,
1498
01:21:26,987 --> 01:21:29,791
for his attempted release
of the Winners virus.
1499
01:21:29,824 --> 01:21:32,694
[GRUNTS] I'll get you, Roddy.
I'll get you!
1500
01:21:32,727 --> 01:21:36,831
And on a personal note,
I never fucking liked that guy.
1501
01:21:36,865 --> 01:21:40,200
Uh, I need five minutes.
I'm just wasting
everyone's time now.
1502
01:21:40,234 --> 01:21:42,436
-[BELL RINGING]
-[CREW SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1503
01:21:42,469 --> 01:21:43,738
[CREW APPLAUDING]
1504
01:21:43,772 --> 01:21:45,305
Good show, everybody.
1505
01:21:48,475 --> 01:21:52,446
I honestly just don't know
how I'm ever gonna
trust him again.
1506
01:21:52,479 --> 01:21:53,715
And I feel the same way.
1507
01:21:53,748 --> 01:21:57,151
After the trust his gone,
what are we supposed to do next?
1508
01:21:58,553 --> 01:22:00,220
That being said...
1509
01:22:00,254 --> 01:22:02,489
I have to admit the whole thing
was kind of exciting.
1510
01:22:03,525 --> 01:22:05,660
All the sneaking around...
1511
01:22:05,693 --> 01:22:09,229
kind of reminded me
of back when you were
my professor.
1512
01:22:09,263 --> 01:22:12,366
-She was my student.
-That's implied, Devine.
1513
01:22:13,167 --> 01:22:15,269
Uh, she was a very bad student.
1514
01:22:15,302 --> 01:22:17,639
Uh, she had a safe word
"chicken in the pot."
1515
01:22:17,672 --> 01:22:20,174
It was "jerk chicken," honey.
We've moved on from that.
1516
01:22:20,207 --> 01:22:23,010
Oh. We've moved on from that.
We've changed that now.
1517
01:22:23,043 --> 01:22:24,813
CHATBOT: Hmm.
1518
01:22:24,846 --> 01:22:27,481
Well, you know, the secretto a good relationshipis communication
1519
01:22:27,515 --> 01:22:30,984
and the abilityto fully express yourselfwith integrity.
1520
01:22:31,018 --> 01:22:33,287
I'm glad you are findingnew ways to connect.
1521
01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:36,990
Speaking of which,have you ever heardof a French tugboat?
1522
01:22:39,527 --> 01:22:41,629
Uh, isn't that
the ultimate gaming weapon?
1523
01:22:41,663 --> 01:22:44,398
-That... I think it was
the ultimate gaming weapon.
-I just said that.
1524
01:22:44,431 --> 01:22:47,669
What? No. It's a threesome...with an AI.
129589
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