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1
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,977
(ALARM CLOCKS RINGING)
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00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:40,958
(P.A. BUZZING)
3
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,768
TRIPPER ON P.A.:
Attention, Camp North Star,
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00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:03,981
senior staff, counselors,
and counselors in training,
5
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,695
please rise for our national anthem.
6
00:01:24,377 --> 00:01:26,879
(BAGPIPES PLAYING ON RECORD PLAYER)
7
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How about that anthem, huh?
Gee, I don't know about you,
8
00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:50,319
but I just get a great
big lump in my throat every time I hear it.
9
00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:53,906
Well, it's 7:05 in the a.m.,
10
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:58,119
and it's, wow, 43 degrees
11
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,204
on the old Camp North Star weather dial,
12
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:04,250
and, well,
that is kind of nippy for a June 25, isn't it?
13
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:06,669
I'm Tripper Harrison…
14
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:09,088
Ah! Ah!
15
00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:12,883
I'm your head counselor,
and this is my wake-up show.
16
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:16,595
I'll be coming at you
every morning about this time,
17
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,015
hoping to make
your summer camp experience
18
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:22,601
the best available in this price range.
19
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:28,316
'Course, across the lake,
over at Camp Mohawk,
20
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:33,070
they won't be getting up
for another hour or so,
21
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,989
and when they do,
they'll be awakened by servants
22
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,700
bearing croissants and cafe au lait.
23
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,161
Hope I didn't hit anybody.
24
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,996
But over here,
at Camp North Star this morning,
25
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,623
we're gonna be having
a delicious gruel breakfast,
26
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:49,462
and don't forget to ask for seconds,
because it's all the gruel you can eat.
27
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,213
(TOILET FLUSHING)
28
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,225
(EXCLAIMS)
29
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,370
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
30
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,665
Okay, everybody.
Can I have your attention, please?
31
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,962
Okay, everybody, I'm waiting.
People, settle down.
32
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,089
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
33
00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:22,263
Okay. That's better.
34
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,306
Look it, there's a lot of
new people out there this year,
35
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,976
so before we go any further,
I wanna introduce myself.
36
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My name's Morty Melnick.
37
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,479
ALL: Hi, Mickey.
38
00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,815
My name's Morty, not Mickey.
39
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,651
Now, the buses are
leaving tomorrow morning at 6:30
40
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,861
to pick up the kids,
41
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,988
and it's very important
you get your bus assignments
42
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,739
to know which group of
kids you're in charge of.
43
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,367
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
44
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,832
Don't argue with me, Bradley.
45
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:52,460
Now, you can
get rabies from a raccoon, too.
46
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,211
-Tell him, Morrie.
-That's right, Bradley.
47
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,964
And don't
forget to put paper on the toilet seat cover,
48
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,215
'cause you could get a terrible infection...
49
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,801
Oh, you know what I meant to ask you,
did you bring smokes?
50
00:05:00,885 --> 00:05:02,845
Oh, no, I couldn't. Iforgot.
51
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:06,098
My mom found the carton in my suitcase,
she had a shit-fit.
52
00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:08,100
-Well, why don't we go get some?
-Yeah, okay.
53
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:11,729
Mommy? Mommy? Where's my mommy?
54
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,858
Tripper, I'm looking forward
to some action this summer,
55
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,235
I hope you
and your gentlemen can supply it for me.
56
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,361
Well, I could supply you,
57
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:21,697
but the guy you gotta watch out for is Spaz.
58
00:05:22,198 --> 00:05:24,492
-Spaz?
-He's a sex machine.
59
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:30,206
Are you kidding me? He couldn't wake me
up with a trumpet and a drum.
60
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,749
Well, I went out with him one night,
61
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,627
and he got us six nurses by himself,
62
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,129
and four of them
couldn't report to work the next morning.
63
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,969
You gonna be okay?
64
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:48,349
Hey, I'll see you
at the end of the summer, okay?
65
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:49,975
Okay.
66
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,864
This bus does not have
a safety inspection sticker.
67
00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:05,115
It's a fine old bus.
68
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:09,036
No, it's not. It is a piece of junk.
I need to tell my father,
69
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,789
and he's gonna report
you to the Department of Motor Vehicles.
70
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:12,957
Roxanne!
71
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,752
And you're going to jail.
You know? Jail? Behind bars?
72
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,380
BOY: Yeah, just like last year, we'll hate it.
73
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,423
Yeah. Camp is lousy, and you're a dork.
74
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:24,677
Yeah, yeah, you're right, you sure are one.
75
00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:26,345
-Hiya.
-Come on.
76
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,596
-Hi.
-What do you want?
77
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,683
-What, are you having trouble?
-I can't get these kids on the bus!
78
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,768
-Okay. Let me talk to them.
-That's because I'm not going.
79
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,770
Come here, guys,
I wanna have a word with you, all right?
80
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:35,938
No.
81
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,731
-Okay, now you guys, look, you...
-What?
82
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,108
-You better get on the bus, or...
-Why?
83
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,319
Well, because if you don't,
I'm gonna beat the pants off of you!
84
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,363
Not bad, huh?
85
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,382
-Hey, watch it, that stuff's expensive.
-Very good, sir.
86
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,764
Hey, Spaz, bud. How you doing, buddy?
87
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:13,309
Hey, Spaz, good to see you.
88
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,560
Hey, give that back.
89
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,312
Come on, Spaz. No, we're doing you a favor.
90
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:19,231
-Give it back!
-You wanna make us, Spaz?
91
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:20,733
Huh?
92
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,903
-Yeah.
-Horse, give him back the milkshake.
93
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:27,448
All right, all right. Here you go.
94
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,743
(ALL LAUGHING)
95
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:36,206
Hey, we'll see you
at the basketball game, Spaz.
96
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,336
Mohawk jerks.
97
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:44,089
These children are going
to the most glamorous of all summer camps,
98
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,341
Camp Mohawk.
99
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:49,595
There's a two-year waiting list,
and every child has to be voted in.
100
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:54,141
On top of all that, it costs $1,000 a week
to go to Camp Mohawk.
101
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:57,186
The question is, is it worth $1,000 a week?
102
00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:00,564
It sure is. It's the best darn camp there is.
103
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,691
Well, are you connected
with Camp Mohawk?
104
00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:05,694
Well, I think so,
I'm the program director, Jerry Aldini.
105
00:08:05,778 --> 00:08:08,155
Well, how do you justify $1,000 a week?
106
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,240
Well, we have some special programs.
107
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,826
We're doing Shakespeare
in the Round again this year, of course.
108
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:15,746
Our political round table.
Henry Kissinger will appear.
109
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,331
Yasir Arafat is gonna come out,
110
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,208
spend a weekend
with the kids, just rap with them.
111
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,376
That's amazing.
112
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:21,502
And the kids wanted animals,
113
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:24,880
so this year,
each camper will stalk and kill his own bear
114
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,548
in our private wildlife preserve.
115
00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:29,093
Are you sure the children can hack that?
116
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,428
We'll see. But the real excitement, of course,
117
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,222
is gonna come at the end of the summer,
118
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,598
during Sexual Awareness Week.
119
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,558
We import 200 hookers
from around the world,
120
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:41,397
and each camper, armed with only
a Thermos of coffee and $2,000 cash,
121
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,358
tries to visit as many countries as he can,
and the winner, of course,
122
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,235
is named King of Sexual Awareness Week,
123
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:49,738
and is allowed to rape and pillage
the neighboring towns until camp ends.
124
00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:50,948
That's incredible.
125
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,075
What do you expect for $1,000 a week?
126
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,827
Hey, you have a good summer, too, huh?
127
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:38,078
TRIPPER: Hey. You must be the short,
depressed kid that we ordered.
128
00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:39,204
Glad you made it.
129
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,375
Want half this?
130
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,470
Come on inside, Frankenstein,
I'll buy you a cocktail.
131
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,472
Okay, all the 12-year-old girls here finally?
132
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:59,057
Gonna be a terrific year.
Got a real good bunch this year.
133
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:04,313
This ground is too slippery. I could fall
and get whiplash or a broken neck.
134
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,440
You know, those are serious injuries.
A guy could die...
135
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,777
-Phil? He's all yours.
-Thanks, Tripper. You Rudy Gerner?
136
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,361
Hi, I'm Phil. You're in my cabin, okay?
137
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,655
-Gotta get this...
-Hi, Morty.
138
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,699
-Hi, Trip. You got the rules?
-No, I'm looking for a copy.
139
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,576
Okay, here you go.
140
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,703
Very important, all your CITs
141
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,372
have gotta know those inside out,
backwards, forward, whatever you want.
142
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,249
Post them up, make sure they know them.
Very important.
143
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,130
Hey, Larry.
144
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,468
-Larry!
-What?
145
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,137
I think that chick over there is staring at me.
146
00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:39,181
-Which chick? Where?
-Over there.
147
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,183
(GIGGLING)
148
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,560
Hey, she is staring at you.
149
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:46,605
You better go over and talk to her.
She probably wants it.
150
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:58,659
-What's cooking, good looking?
-Your fly's undone.
151
00:10:58,742 --> 00:10:59,785
(GIGGLING)
152
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:09,294
Renzetti, come here.
Hey, Fink, come on. Off your knees.
153
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,506
Hey, Spaz, I was watching you.
154
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,049
Looked like you had
a chance there for a second.
155
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,634
Thanks, Trip.
156
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,096
-My man, my main man.
-Hey, Tripper.
157
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,099
-Hey, boy.
-Eyes right, gentlemen.
158
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,059
-Hey.
-Hey, are these free?
159
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:27,062
-Hi, everybody.
-Hi. Hi, Mary.
160
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:30,566
-Fine. Just right, left, right, left.
-Jeez, that's right.
161
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:34,945
All right, these are the camp rules.
162
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,573
Morty would like you all
to take a look at these.
163
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,284
They'll be in here, if you wanna
check these out a little bit later.
164
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,244
And now, gentlemen, and you are,
165
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,621
I'm gonna take you over
to your cabin assignments for the first week.
166
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,706
Let's go.
167
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,251
All right, this is the six-year-old cabin.
168
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,588
All they know how to do
is eat and wet their beds.
169
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:55,591
You have to teach them everything else.
Crockett, take it.
170
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,551
No, no, Trip.
I don't want it. No six-year-olds.
171
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,094
Come on, Trip, I don't wanna...
172
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,054
That's my man. Good luck.
173
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,308
Put the comic book away, and get your shirt.
174
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,602
Take the shirt by the shoulders.
175
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:10,314
One, fold sleevie. Two, fold sleevie.
176
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,816
-Presto. It's done.
-How's this?
177
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,234
-How's this, Mike?
-That's not bad.
178
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:15,569
Listen, why don't we just have a nap,
179
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,446
and we'll come back later and try it, okay?
180
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:18,739
-No, forget it.
-No.
181
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,782
Come on, guys. Do I have to count to three?
182
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:24,620
One, two... Two's good enough.
183
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,288
Come on, Steve.
184
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,880
Hey, what's that?
185
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:38,300
It's Ernie, my pet frog. He's a jumper.
186
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,304
-How come he doesn't hop?
-He's tired, I guess.
187
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,848
-No, he's dead.
-No, he's sleeping.
188
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,392
For sure, he's dead.
189
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,687
Mister, could you help me wake up my frog?
190
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:56,652
He looks tired. Why don't we just let him
sleep a little longer, okay?
191
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:57,819
-Yeah.
-Okay.
192
00:12:57,903 --> 00:13:01,990
Take that nap now, all right?
And I'll... I'll take care of the frog.
193
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,953
All right, this is the 14-year-old girls' cabin.
194
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,329
They've got the drive and the equipment,
195
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,164
-but they don't have the experience.
-Right.
196
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:12,417
They'd better not get it from you guys.
Not this summer, anyway, huh?
197
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:16,338
Roxanne. Just the person I wanted to see.
198
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,757
Later, Tripper. Say, Christmas?
199
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:24,012
A.L., that's your cabin.
You got the jailbait. Watch them.
200
00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:25,973
-Women.
-A.L.: Thanks.
201
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:27,849
See you later.
202
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:31,019
Roxanne, I want you to know
that I'm very deeply hurt,
203
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,562
and I mean that sincerely.
204
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,982
Glad to hear it. Excuse me.
205
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:44,992
Hi, Larry.
206
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,371
Hi, Spaz.
207
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:51,581
Spaz!
208
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,589
Hey, guess what, guys?
Liza finally got her period.
209
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,716
-Liza.
-Liza.
210
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:04,344
-You don't have to advertise it.
-But they gotta know.
211
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,389
Hey, Liza you better watch it,
'cause now you can get pregnant.
212
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,890
Yeah, I heard about this girl,
213
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:11,143
and she got pregnant
without doing it with anyone.
214
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,396
What do you mean?
You can't get pregnant without doing it.
215
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:17,733
No, stupid.
She didn't do it, she almost did it.
216
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,067
My God.
217
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:21,737
-Hi, guys. I got your cabin this week.
-GIRLS: Hi, A.L.!
218
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,030
Hey.
219
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:26,616
-Go on. Ask her, ask A.L.
-Ask me what?
220
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:30,203
A.L., can a girl get pregnant
if she almost does it with a guy?
221
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,290
Almost? I don't think so, no.
222
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,584
That's a relief.
223
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:41,089
Okay, Spazalopolous, you're in here with
Phil and the 12-year-olds.
224
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,257
This here is Rudy.
225
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,134
-Hi, Rudy.
-Hey, Rudy. How's it going?
226
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,636
Gotta watch out for this guy,
he's done time for car theft.
227
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,597
Oh, yeah? My kind of guy there, Rudy.
228
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,433
He could be a bad influence
on the other children.
229
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,226
Watch it. We'll see you guys at dinner.
230
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,936
-Okay.
-Watch out for the ear, Rudy. Look out!
231
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,146
See you later, Spaz.
232
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,230
-Bye-bye, guys.
-Bye, Spaz.
233
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,068
Not bad. Over the head.
234
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:02,944
Hi, guys. I'm Spaz.
235
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:05,238
I'm your CIT this week.
I wanna introduce you...
236
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,407
-Hey, look, it's Spaz!
-It's Spaz!
237
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,578
I wanna introduce you
to a new guy in the cabin, that...
238
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,748
Hey, bozo, this is my bunk, so shove off.
239
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:21,338
Settle down. Settle down, okay.
Hey, come on, guys. Settle down.
240
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,092
Okay, let's see, everything's put away.
That's good.
241
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,594
Everybody has a bunk. That's good.
242
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,513
Everybody's settled in. That's good.
243
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,474
And everybody's been
deloused and fingerprinted. That's good.
244
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:36,353
BOY: Phil, look, it's the first day of camp,
and we're bored already.
245
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,271
What are we gonna do, huh?
246
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,398
PHIL: Relax, Peter, relax.
247
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:44,069
Okay, you guys, after lunch
we got a big game with cabin B-11,
248
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:47,155
and I really wanna win it, okay?
So, what do you say?
249
00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:48,281
BOYS: We're gonna kill them!
250
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,366
Gonna what?
251
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,450
BOYS: We're gonna kill them!
252
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,661
-I can't hear you.
-We're gonna kill them!
253
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,329
We're gonna kill them!
254
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,498
TRIPPER ON P.A.:
Attention all campers,
255
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,625
afternoon swim schedule is as follows,
256
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,669
Advanced dolphins will report to the dock
257
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,337
for survival swimming and IQ testing.
258
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,715
All senior silverfish,
meet on the beach for nude sunbathing.
259
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:09,177
Junior salmon, trout and herring,
report to the nearest delicatessen,
260
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:12,097
and six-year-old tadpoles,
report to the swamp.
261
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,891
And all lobsters,
get out of here, you're a menace!
262
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,411
-David says that it's very...
-Hi, girls.
263
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,873
I'm really looking forward
to working with all of you this summer.
264
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:40,041
I just hope there's enough
of me to go around.
265
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:42,419
Lance, please. We're eating.
266
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,556
Oh, crap!
267
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,601
Why do I have to stack the dishes again?
268
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,728
I don't have the energy. I'm weak.
269
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,104
I'm weak from hunger.
270
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,440
Fink. Less flak, more stack.
271
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,359
ALL: (CHANTING)
Gossip! Gossip! We want gossip!
272
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,779
Gossip! Gossip! We want gossip!
273
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,908
Gossip! Gossip! We want gossip!
274
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:30,634
Okay. Okay,
we have a gossip update. This is the news.
275
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:34,888
It seems as though
last summer's hottest couple have split.
276
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:38,683
I can't tell you their names,
but her initials are A.L.,
277
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,852
and he's the hottest CIT on wheels.
278
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,315
We all know they spent
most of last summer in the bushes,
279
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,610
but the question is,
will true love bloom again?
280
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:52,030
And speaking of CITs,
there's a certain girl named Wendy
281
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:54,699
who's giving all the guys wet dreams.
282
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,665
Okay, Jody, thank you very much.
283
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,291
Everybody, when you're finished stacking,
284
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,252
all the cabins can go to their other activities.
285
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:12,509
Okay, you guys,
let's play ball, okay? Let's go!
286
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:17,097
Let's move. We gotta get back
to the cabin for rest period.
287
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,724
If I'd wanted to rest,
I would have stayed in Cleveland.
288
00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,559
You and Trip are playing defense.
Get your shirts off.
289
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,478
Hey, all right!
What do you say? We're defense, buddy.
290
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:24,646
Okay, you guys. Come on, let's go.
291
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,189
We can win this game, all right. Come on.
292
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,441
Hardware, you're doomed.
Come on, you guys.
293
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,777
(GIRLS CLAPPING AND CHEERING)
294
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:41,329
Come on. Come on, people.
Down here. Come on.
295
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,415
Come on, you guys, let's kill them.
296
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,417
(CHILDREN SHOUTING)
297
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,587
Come on, Rudy, get it back the other way.
298
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,469
(BOYS CHEERING)
299
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,179
Do we have to have this guy on our team?
300
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,432
Do we gotta have Gerner on our team?
He's totally useless.
301
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,975
-He sucks!
-He's terrible.
302
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,227
I know, I know. Okay, come on,
you guys. Let's regroup...
303
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,013
Yeah, could I have some fries, please?
304
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:50,023
Hey, Gerner. How's it going?
305
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,946
This is the best damn food
in the whole Two Pines area.
306
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,074
I'm not surprised you found this place.
307
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:02,660
I had you
pegged for a gourmet first time I met you.
308
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,081
You know, that's a smart move,
bringing a suitcase.
309
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,832
You don't wanna be leaving
a lot of valuable socks
310
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,084
and underwear around camp,
311
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,961
where people can rustle around in them
when you're out on the town.
312
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,380
Thank you.
313
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,007
You like ketchup?
314
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:18,885
I'm going away.
315
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,179
You going to Vegas?
316
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,556
If you're going to Vegas, man,
I would be up for it,
317
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,352
because I love that town.
I'm a party guy, I love that town.
318
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,687
I don't think they want me around.
319
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:33,441
What, are you talking about
the soccer-heads back there?
320
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:38,113
Well, that's life in the fast-paced,
slam-bang, live-on-the-razor's edge,
321
00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:41,366
laugh-in-the-face-of-death
world of junior league soccer.
322
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:45,787
I'm serious. I never played the game before.
I tried to tell them.
323
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,873
What? You tried to tell...
324
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,917
And they...
325
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:55,755
Who was it? I'll get them.
I'll get them with this Swiss Army knife.
326
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,466
The Swiss trained me to kill, and I will do it.
327
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:01,678
I will grab these guys
by the neck, take the toothpick,
328
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,847
and stick it right in between their teeth.
329
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,015
And then I'll slap them around
the head a couple of times.
330
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:08,435
They'll go out for just a couple of seconds,
they'll be unconscious,
331
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,145
and while they're doing that,
I'll go for the corkscrew.
332
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,522
And I'll grab them,
and I'll take that corkscrew,
333
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,941
and I will stick it right into the voice box.
334
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,443
(GRUFFLY) I will twist that mofo,
335
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:19,320
(CROAKY VOICE) I will twist it
into his voice box, and rip that thing,
336
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,614
rip it out,
and he'll talk like this for the rest of his life.
337
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,411
I don't wanna hurt anyone.
I just want them to like me.
338
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:29,956
Why?
339
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:35,295
If you make one good friend a summer,
then you're doing pretty well.
340
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:44,762
Look, if you have trouble,
come to me, tell me, and I'll help you.
341
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,227
What's that? What is that? Is that yes or no?
342
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:55,190
Yes is like this, and no is just
twisting, twisting, twisting. Okay?
343
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:56,691
-Well, it was yes.
-It was this one?
344
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:57,984
Definitely?
-Yes, one of those.
345
00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,402
You're positive it wasn't a side-to-side one?
346
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:00,695
No, it wasn't one of those.
347
00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:03,072
'Cause you could hurt
your neck doing that. Okay...
348
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:06,367
Have you got wheels?
'Cause I need a lift back to camp.
349
00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:09,412
My folks won't let me drive
'cause they caught me drinking,
350
00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:12,415
they just don't let me out of the house
anymore, 'cause I'm a jerk, they said.
351
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,667
They're gonna send me to military school.
352
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:18,338
You forgot something, Rudy.
353
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,632
Thanks for the fries.
354
00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,355
Jesus!
355
00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:38,858
-Christ, Hardware.
-FINK: You animal. What are you doing?
356
00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:40,610
-I can't handle it.
-You mook, why don't you warn me
357
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,487
when you're gonna play
with your dynamite?
358
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:47,867
What are you doing, Hardware?
359
00:22:47,951 --> 00:22:51,621
I'm hooking up this heavy-duty outlet here
for our new air conditioner.
360
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,123
-An air conditioner? That's great.
-That's right.
361
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:57,585
-Well, where is it?
-Morty's office. He loves the heat.
362
00:22:57,669 --> 00:22:58,670
(LAUGHS)
363
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:02,257
Okay.
364
00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:05,385
An air conditioner
just doesn't get up and walk away.
365
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:09,514
-Any idea where it might be, Tripper?
-I have no idea.
366
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:13,851
-Maybe it was stolen, Morty.
-Of course, it was stolen,
367
00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:15,937
but I'm gonna find it.
368
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,939
Will you two go over the schedules, please?
369
00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:21,693
Okay, ready?
370
00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:26,739
Monday, Wednesday and Friday,
2:00 to 4:00 p.m.,
371
00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:29,617
junior boys and junior girls.
372
00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:35,039
Tuesday and Thursday,
2:00 to 4:00 p.m., junior boys.
373
00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:37,709
Thursday and Friday, 4:00 to 5:00...
374
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,460
-Roxanne.
-What?
375
00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:41,713
I have to tell you this as a friend.
376
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,090
I can see right down your blouse.
377
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,260
I can see everything, too.
378
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:50,346
Tripper, is there something
seriously wrong with you?
379
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:53,933
Roxanne, I have what doctors
call "very active glands."
380
00:23:54,225 --> 00:23:56,603
You're the only person I've told,
my folks don't even know.
381
00:23:56,686 --> 00:23:58,980
Well, maybe you can have
surgery without them knowing.
382
00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:02,567
Aw! Heck with surgery. Let's wrestle.
383
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,736
No, let's not, okay, Tripper? No...
384
00:24:06,654 --> 00:24:08,906
The atomic skull crusher. Oh!
385
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:11,075
Let's not do this. Okay, Tripper?
386
00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:13,369
Let's just stop right now. Okay? Okay?
387
00:24:16,706 --> 00:24:18,249
(BOTH GRUNTING)
388
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:20,627
Ah!
389
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:25,256
-Dip look.
-What? Tripper, no.
390
00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:28,384
-Shark-infested waters!
-No, don't do that, Tripper. No. No.
391
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,719
Tripper!
392
00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,767
Let's stop now, okay? No, huh? Let's...
393
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:39,062
I'm sorry about that blouse thing,
but somebody had to tell you.
394
00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,564
Tripper, get off of me right now,
or I start screaming.
395
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:44,317
At the count of three, I guess, huh?
One, two...
396
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,777
-Help!
-Help!
397
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:47,445
Help!
398
00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:48,988
-TRIPPER: Help me!
-No, please.
399
00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:50,907
-Somebody, help!
-Let me get off.
400
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,659
Get off me! Morty!
401
00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:55,036
-What the hell's going on here?
-Oh, Morty!
402
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,288
Morty. Morty. Morty.
403
00:24:58,456 --> 00:25:00,291
She attacked me.
404
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:01,709
Give me a break, Harrison, will you?
405
00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:03,211
She came at me like an animal!
406
00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:06,964
(TRIPPER GASPING)
407
00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:12,845
Would you get a hold of yourself?
408
00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,305
(SOBBING)
409
00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:21,020
It's great. You can't even see it from outside,
because of the bushes.
410
00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:22,355
Okay, this is it.
411
00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:26,025
This is it.
Now, in five seconds, we're talking five,
412
00:25:26,150 --> 00:25:28,194
we are gonna have
the coolest cabin in camp.
413
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,071
-All right.
-Sweet.
414
00:25:30,154 --> 00:25:32,865
-Yes, sir. Thank you, Mickey.
-Yes!
415
00:25:32,990 --> 00:25:36,077
All right, let's do it. Let's do it. You ready?
416
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,412
-Are you ready?
-I'm ready.
417
00:25:37,495 --> 00:25:38,538
All right.
418
00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:44,127
-Five, four, three, two, one.
-Do it!
419
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:53,261
-Hardware?
-Yeah, Crockett.
420
00:25:53,344 --> 00:25:54,721
You're a dick.
421
00:27:14,008 --> 00:27:16,469
Okay, pit stop. Change the tires.
422
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,893
(TRIPPER PANTING)
423
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:28,064
Not bad.
424
00:27:28,564 --> 00:27:31,442
You got pretty good form.
It's real good, Rudy.
425
00:27:31,526 --> 00:27:32,610
Really?
426
00:27:33,444 --> 00:27:36,280
Yeah. Well, you know,
it's your first time out.
427
00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:38,449
It's okay.
428
00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:40,701
You wanna get into shape, though,
429
00:27:40,785 --> 00:27:44,497
you gotta come out every morning with me.
I'll make you into an animal.
430
00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,627
Top physical condition,
you gotta pay the price.
431
00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:52,880
-Okay.
-Okay.
432
00:27:57,969 --> 00:27:59,512
TRIPPER ON P.A.:
Attention, campers.
433
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:02,765
Remember, this is killer bee
season in the North Woods,
434
00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:04,892
so don't provoke any flying yellow things,
435
00:28:04,976 --> 00:28:07,395
you're just asking for trouble.
436
00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:09,730
(BUZZING)
437
00:28:14,861 --> 00:28:18,906
Hey, Crockett, I told Candace I was gonna
Christen my boat, "The Candace,"
438
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:21,826
and she just about had a heart attack.
439
00:28:22,493 --> 00:28:24,829
I don't think she knew
how much in love we really were.
440
00:28:26,956 --> 00:28:30,042
-Hey, Crockett, can you help me a sec?
-Sure, Candace.
441
00:28:31,794 --> 00:28:33,588
Hurry up, come on.
442
00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,012
What are you doing?
443
00:28:41,596 --> 00:28:45,099
Crockett, this is the first
time I've ever kidnapped a guy.
444
00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:47,393
-No kidding, huh?
-You'll be released unharmed.
445
00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:52,690
I just want you long enough
to tell you that I'm really attracted to you.
446
00:28:52,815 --> 00:28:54,275
-Yeah?
-Yeah!
447
00:28:55,276 --> 00:28:57,361
I think I'm special, too.
448
00:28:57,862 --> 00:29:00,948
Hell, you're the only one in this camp that
I really wanna spend time with!
449
00:29:01,032 --> 00:29:02,074
-Really?
-Yeah!
450
00:29:02,158 --> 00:29:03,659
Well, what about Lance Cashman then?
451
00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:04,911
-Lance Cashman'?
-Yeah, Lance.
452
00:29:04,994 --> 00:29:07,538
Lance Cashman is a total jerk-off!
453
00:29:09,457 --> 00:29:13,044
All right! She likes me! She likes me!
454
00:29:15,463 --> 00:29:18,257
"Jerk-off"? I don't jerk off.
455
00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:22,053
-I don't know how to do this.
-Just throw it up in the air, and hit it.
456
00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:30,686
SPAZ: Ooh!
457
00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:42,031
-l'm sorry. I...
-Why don't we serve?
458
00:29:42,573 --> 00:29:43,991
Yeah...
459
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:49,413
Did you see the way
she handed you the racket? She wants it.
460
00:29:51,207 --> 00:29:53,084
You guys ready? Here it comes.
461
00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:57,213
-I got it. It's mine!
-Get it, get it!
462
00:29:57,296 --> 00:29:59,298
Come on, lob it! Lob it! Try...
463
00:29:59,382 --> 00:30:01,258
-I got it!
-I got it. I got it. I got...
464
00:30:02,593 --> 00:30:07,056
-I thought you said you had it, meatball.
-Well, then, you serve, then.
465
00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:12,019
Ready?
466
00:30:14,605 --> 00:30:18,109
Oh! Oh! Oh!
I got it, I got it, I got it! I'm gonna get it!
467
00:30:18,567 --> 00:30:19,568
Oh!
468
00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:23,948
TRIPPER ON P.A.: Attention.
Here's an update on tonight's dinner.
469
00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:26,784
It was veal. I repeat, veal.
470
00:30:27,368 --> 00:30:29,203
The winner of tonight's
mystery meat contest
471
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:33,165
is Jeffrey Corbin,
who guessed "some kind of beef."
472
00:30:33,249 --> 00:30:36,585
Congratulations, Jeffrey. You just won
a brand new Chrysler Cordoba,
473
00:30:36,669 --> 00:30:39,380
and you can pick it up at Morty's office.
474
00:30:42,216 --> 00:30:43,592
You bet.
475
00:30:44,969 --> 00:30:46,137
Five.
476
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:50,683
I'll see that five.
477
00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:55,146
-Want a card?
-No.
478
00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,442
I'll take one. Eight.
479
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:02,570
Fifteen.
480
00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,948
Eighteen. I'll stick.
481
00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:10,703
Twenty.
482
00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:18,294
You shark! You're playing some
sort of system, aren't you?
483
00:31:19,295 --> 00:31:21,839
You've been watching the cards,
marking the cards.
484
00:31:29,013 --> 00:31:30,181
(BURPS)
485
00:31:32,725 --> 00:31:34,226
(BURPS WEAKLY)
486
00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:37,229
From the diaphragm. Let's see.
487
00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:43,027
(BURPING) Oh, really? Really?
488
00:31:44,695 --> 00:31:46,530
From the diaphragm.
489
00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:50,034
(BURPS WEAKLY)
490
00:31:50,117 --> 00:31:52,995
That's not from the diaphragm. Ante up.
491
00:31:55,206 --> 00:31:58,417
-What do you do in the off season?
-Go to school.
492
00:32:00,211 --> 00:32:01,378
Twenty.
493
00:32:03,214 --> 00:32:06,383
Twenty? What are you,
some sort of madman?
494
00:32:08,302 --> 00:32:10,930
Is that what they teach you
in that school of yours, 20?
495
00:32:11,013 --> 00:32:12,890
I'll see your 20.
496
00:32:12,973 --> 00:32:15,768
I hope you walk out of here with nothing.
497
00:32:17,353 --> 00:32:19,647
I think I like history the most.
498
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:23,609
It's fun to imagine that
I'm in some other time, in a different place.
499
00:32:24,318 --> 00:32:26,654
Shut up and look at your cards.
500
00:32:29,907 --> 00:32:31,325
Blackjack.
501
00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:40,751
Nineteen.
502
00:32:41,043 --> 00:32:42,503
Twenty-one.
503
00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:46,423
I've had it. That's it.
504
00:32:46,966 --> 00:32:48,926
Card monster. Get out!
505
00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:56,350
I think you're pretty tired. I think you ought
to go home and go to sleep.
506
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:58,644
-This was great.
-Well, yeah, this was great.
507
00:32:58,727 --> 00:33:00,521
You're the guy walking home
with all the peanuts.
508
00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:01,647
If I were walking home with the peanuts,
509
00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:03,774
it'd be incredible, it'd be sensational.
510
00:33:05,568 --> 00:33:07,153
Are you going to bed?
511
00:33:07,236 --> 00:33:08,863
No, I've called an organizational meeting
512
00:33:08,946 --> 00:33:11,657
of the CITs for a little bit later this evening.
513
00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:13,450
No midgets allowed. Sorry.
514
00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:17,663
Well, enough of this playing for peanuts.
515
00:33:17,746 --> 00:33:21,000
Tomorrow night we play
for real stakes, zucchini.
516
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,378
Children starving in India,
and you're walking around
517
00:33:24,461 --> 00:33:26,755
with a whole sombrero full of peanuts.
518
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:28,883
I hope you sleep well.
519
00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:31,969
Night, Tripper.
520
00:33:43,689 --> 00:33:45,816
Attention all campers.
521
00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:48,903
It's now 9:30,
522
00:33:48,986 --> 00:33:52,448
and that's lights-out time,
9:30, as you know.
523
00:33:52,823 --> 00:33:54,783
Tomorrow is Parents Day,
524
00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:58,954
and you must look rested, or Morty will be
sent to the state penitentiary.
525
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,838
(TRIPPER ULULATING)
526
00:34:11,217 --> 00:34:12,843
-What are you doing?
-Shut the light!
527
00:34:12,927 --> 00:34:14,595
-Get up!
-Come on.
528
00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:21,852
-What is this, breakfast?
-Hardware, get up! Up, up!
529
00:34:23,187 --> 00:34:24,855
Who's the puppy?
530
00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:27,608
(WHISTLES)
531
00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:29,276
What? What?
532
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,820
All right, gentlemen, big event.
533
00:34:32,863 --> 00:34:36,700
-Operation Late Night Excitement.
-Another panty raid, Trip?
534
00:34:36,867 --> 00:34:39,203
No questions, dog face!
535
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:41,664
Dress up and move out!
536
00:35:02,393 --> 00:35:03,936
(MORTY SNORING)
537
00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:20,244
(WHISPERING) Tie him up.
538
00:35:28,752 --> 00:35:32,381
(WHISPERING) Don't wake him.
Tie him gently, now. He needs his sleep.
539
00:35:34,591 --> 00:35:36,135
Honor guard,
540
00:35:36,969 --> 00:35:39,263
prepare to raise the casket.
541
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:55,112
Won't fit, Trip.
542
00:35:55,446 --> 00:35:56,780
Spin him.
543
00:36:10,919 --> 00:36:13,005
Company, rotate.
544
00:36:18,594 --> 00:36:22,014
Right face. Right face.
545
00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:23,766
(ALL WHISTLING)
546
00:36:57,633 --> 00:36:59,426
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
547
00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:06,016
GIRL 1: Morning, Mr. Melnick.
548
00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:08,852
BOY 1: Hey, Mickey!
BOY 2: Hello, Mickey!
549
00:37:09,353 --> 00:37:10,771
-BOY 3: Hey, Mickey!
-(CAR HORNS HONKING)
550
00:37:11,355 --> 00:37:14,441
BOY 4: Hi, Mickey!
BOY 5: Hey, Mickey!
551
00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:17,444
BOY 6: Sleepy?
GIRL 2: Hello, Mr. Melnick.
552
00:37:18,195 --> 00:37:19,822
BOY 7: Morning, Melnick.
553
00:37:23,784 --> 00:37:27,454
Lots of room, lots of room.
Looks fine, Dad. Looks good, Dad. Come on.
554
00:37:27,538 --> 00:37:28,997
-Am I okay?
-Come on. Looks fine, Dad.
555
00:37:29,081 --> 00:37:30,416
(CRASHING)
556
00:37:32,376 --> 00:37:33,794
Sorry, Dad.
557
00:37:40,884 --> 00:37:41,969
Yo.
558
00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:46,974
You don't have to run with me today,
I know you got things to do.
559
00:37:47,057 --> 00:37:50,227
No, I'd rather run, it takes my mind off sex.
560
00:37:51,687 --> 00:37:54,481
-Is your dad coming up today?
-He can't.
561
00:37:55,524 --> 00:37:58,444
Mine can't either, he's gotta mow the lawn.
562
00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:02,489
Mind hanging out with me today?
563
00:38:02,573 --> 00:38:04,575
-Okay.
564
00:38:34,104 --> 00:38:37,483
-Hey, you got any kids in your family?
-RUDY: No.
565
00:38:37,566 --> 00:38:40,319
-Did you ever do any time? Prison?
-No.
566
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,822
-You know to hotwire a car?
-Not yet, no.
567
00:38:43,906 --> 00:38:45,449
Well, you'll learn in class.
568
00:38:45,532 --> 00:38:47,826
Did you read in the paper today
about the Polish terrorist?
569
00:38:47,910 --> 00:38:49,328
-No.
-Yeah. A tragedy.
570
00:38:49,411 --> 00:38:52,915
They sent this guy to blow up a car,
and the guy burns his mouth on the tailpipe.
571
00:38:52,998 --> 00:38:55,250
That's an old one.
You'll get that a lot up here.
572
00:38:55,334 --> 00:38:57,211
Rattlesnake! Look out.
573
00:39:12,768 --> 00:39:14,394
(SHUSHING) All right, quiet.
574
00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:24,154
"She turned her head from side to side
against the dank jungle floor."
575
00:39:25,447 --> 00:39:26,615
Hey, relax.
576
00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:30,494
"In the distance,
the ocean undulated with increasing fervor."
577
00:39:30,827 --> 00:39:32,621
-I can hear them.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
578
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:37,668
-This book is really disgusting.
-Well, it sounds great to me.
579
00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:39,753
I don't believe this.
580
00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:41,838
"She could no longer contain the plea."
581
00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:43,215
Oh, my God.
582
00:39:44,258 --> 00:39:46,677
You little hunk of honey bunch.
583
00:39:47,469 --> 00:39:48,595
(MOANING)
584
00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:49,721
"Take me.
585
00:39:50,973 --> 00:39:52,516
"Make me a woman.
586
00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:55,936
"She realized she was
uttering sounds from deep within herself,
587
00:39:56,019 --> 00:39:58,188
"noises unlike any she had ever made."
588
00:39:58,438 --> 00:40:02,859
-Larry.
-Shut up, shut up, okay? Shut up.
589
00:40:04,194 --> 00:40:07,906
"...the hungry personification
of passion and pain.
590
00:40:07,990 --> 00:40:14,162
"Closer and closer the stranger came
towards the entangled pair."
591
00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:16,915
-I'm getting a boner.
-What?
592
00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:19,960
-I said I'm getting a boner.
-Will you...
593
00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:21,545
"...haunting."
594
00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:23,338
-Wait a minute.
-What is it?
595
00:40:23,422 --> 00:40:25,716
I think I hear something.
596
00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:33,181
(WHISPERING)
Okay, let's go check it out.
597
00:40:34,141 --> 00:40:35,309
Quiet.
598
00:40:35,392 --> 00:40:36,727
(SHUSHING)
599
00:40:38,312 --> 00:40:39,563
They can hear us.
600
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,027
I don't hear anything...
601
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,738
SPAZ: I'm getting out of here.
FINK: I'll bet you they heard us.
602
00:40:47,821 --> 00:40:49,239
FINK: Get out of here, get out of here.
SPAZ: Okay.
603
00:40:49,323 --> 00:40:51,825
SPAZ: All right, go on.
FINK: Get up, get up.
604
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,076
Spaz, I'm stuck.
605
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:57,080
I'm having trouble.
Come on, Spaz, help me. I'm having trouble!
606
00:40:57,789 --> 00:40:59,791
Spaz, what are you doing?
607
00:41:00,709 --> 00:41:02,586
Spaz, you're ripping my face off!
608
00:41:03,253 --> 00:41:04,921
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
609
00:41:05,005 --> 00:41:06,590
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
610
00:41:08,008 --> 00:41:14,473
What are you doing? Spaz. Spaz. Spaz!
611
00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:17,100
Spaz!
612
00:41:18,352 --> 00:41:20,604
What are you, a homo, or what?
613
00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:26,610
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
614
00:41:27,736 --> 00:41:30,364
TRIPPER ON P.A.: Attention.
Bus for the Camp Mohawk basketball game
615
00:41:30,447 --> 00:41:31,865
leaving in 15 minutes,
616
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:36,536
and there is a very fat pair of pants
hanging on the flagpole this morning.
617
00:41:46,713 --> 00:41:48,965
TRIPPER: See you at Camp Mohawk, Morty.
618
00:42:04,314 --> 00:42:06,066
One, two, three.
619
00:42:06,149 --> 00:42:07,484
PLAYERS: Camp Mohawk!
620
00:42:07,567 --> 00:42:09,820
CAMPERS: (CHANTING)
Death, injury, blood and brains!
621
00:42:09,903 --> 00:42:12,114
Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!
622
00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:14,366
Death, injury, blood and brains!
623
00:42:14,449 --> 00:42:16,576
Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!
624
00:42:16,660 --> 00:42:18,620
Death, injury, blood and brains!
625
00:42:18,704 --> 00:42:21,081
Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!
626
00:42:21,164 --> 00:42:23,750
Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!
627
00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:25,627
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
628
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,512
(CROWD CHEERING)
629
00:42:38,140 --> 00:42:41,935
I don't know, Trip,
those Mohawks look better than last year.
630
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:45,605
Guys, it's important
for us to hustle at both ends of the court.
631
00:42:45,689 --> 00:42:47,482
We gotta make the offense work.
632
00:42:47,566 --> 00:42:49,067
We gotta play that big tough D.
633
00:42:49,151 --> 00:42:52,154
We gotta contain their big men inside.
We gotta crash the boards on offense.
634
00:42:52,237 --> 00:42:53,947
We can't give them the baseline at any price.
635
00:42:54,197 --> 00:42:56,992
But more important
than the score of this game,
636
00:42:57,075 --> 00:42:59,703
is to score at the big social
at our place tonight.
637
00:43:00,162 --> 00:43:03,373
So, I want you guys to go out there
and protect your balls at any cost.
638
00:43:03,457 --> 00:43:04,916
-All right.
-You can count on it.
639
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,335
Bruce Lee, patron of self-defense,
640
00:43:07,419 --> 00:43:08,712
-pray for us.
-Pray for us!
641
00:43:08,795 --> 00:43:10,380
Let's go. All right.
642
00:43:10,464 --> 00:43:11,882
-All right.
-Hey, hey, let's go!
643
00:43:11,965 --> 00:43:14,342
Go get them, guys. Excuse me. Thank you.
644
00:43:14,426 --> 00:43:15,969
Let's go, Spaz. Do it, Spaz.
645
00:43:16,052 --> 00:43:18,430
-Gary, take it.
-CAMPER: Aw, Spaz!
646
00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:20,432
-Sorry, guys.
-Sink it over here.
647
00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:23,560
All right, this is how it's done.
This is how it's done.
648
00:43:23,643 --> 00:43:26,062
Looks good, Hardware. Looks good.
649
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,233
All right. Let's clean up.
650
00:43:36,198 --> 00:43:39,451
-Try again. Try another one.
-Hey. Take it. Come on.
651
00:43:39,910 --> 00:43:43,997
-You know, our guys don't look so good.
-They're not.
652
00:43:44,414 --> 00:43:46,750
-(BLOWS WHISTLE)
-(CHANTING) Death, injury, blood and brains!
653
00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:49,127
Mohawks, Mohawks, win again!
654
00:43:49,211 --> 00:43:52,172
Go, North Star, go!
655
00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:54,716
Son of a gun, son of a gun!
656
00:43:59,763 --> 00:44:01,932
(CHANTING) Go, North Star, go!
Go, North Star, go!
657
00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:04,726
Hey, Wheels,
you're going home in an ambulance.
658
00:44:04,810 --> 00:44:07,187
-Nice shirt, Crockett.
-Thanks.
659
00:44:07,270 --> 00:44:08,563
-All right, guys.
-Thanks. Mook.
660
00:44:08,647 --> 00:44:10,857
Let's go, let's go.
Come on, let's play some basketball here.
661
00:44:10,941 --> 00:44:12,025
Come on. Here we go.
662
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:14,653
(CHANTING) Go, North Star, go!
663
00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:25,455
Hey, nice going, Mohawks, nice going.
664
00:44:25,539 --> 00:44:26,873
Assholes.
665
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:29,876
(CHUCKLES) Am I all right?
666
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:30,961
That was a great try, buddy.
667
00:44:31,044 --> 00:44:32,754
Oh, yeah. I think we're in big trouble.
668
00:44:32,838 --> 00:44:35,090
That Crockett's really cute.
669
00:44:35,173 --> 00:44:38,051
Yeah, but he can't play
basketball worth a shit.
670
00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:41,513
GIRL: Go, North Star, go!
671
00:44:45,141 --> 00:44:47,978
There are five guys.
They play offense and defense,
672
00:44:48,061 --> 00:44:49,771
but they play at different ends of the court,
673
00:44:49,855 --> 00:44:51,481
and they switch sides at half-time.
674
00:44:52,983 --> 00:44:54,276
Wheels!
675
00:44:57,279 --> 00:44:58,655
Hardware!
676
00:44:59,322 --> 00:45:00,949
-You all right?
-Yeah.
677
00:45:01,032 --> 00:45:02,409
Help me, Spaz, come on.
678
00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:05,036
Take it easy, easy. Come on.
679
00:45:05,161 --> 00:45:07,289
Now you know why they call that guy Rhino.
680
00:45:08,665 --> 00:45:10,166
Oh, my God, his nose is bleeding.
681
00:45:10,250 --> 00:45:11,793
It's gonna get even bigger now.
682
00:45:11,877 --> 00:45:13,211
Jackie.
683
00:45:13,336 --> 00:45:15,297
-Come here. You okay?
-Yeah.
684
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:18,425
Hardware Renzetti, girls.
It's just a nosebleed.
685
00:45:18,508 --> 00:45:20,969
Looks like he's gonna be
at the big social tonight.
686
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:22,304
He'll be there.
687
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:24,973
It really doesn't look any worse, really.
688
00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:26,600
-Really?
-Go out there and kill 'em.
689
00:45:26,683 --> 00:45:28,226
-All right.
-Fazul!
690
00:45:28,351 --> 00:45:29,644
-Come on!
-Hardware!
691
00:45:29,728 --> 00:45:32,230
(CHANTING) Go, North Star, go!
Go, North Star, go!
692
00:45:32,314 --> 00:45:33,565
Go, North Star, go!
693
00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:37,736
Ah!
694
00:45:40,488 --> 00:45:43,074
Hey, Larry, you scored!
695
00:45:44,284 --> 00:45:48,330
Way to go! Okay, you guys,
feed Fink, he's our hot man.
696
00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:51,291
All right, there!
697
00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:53,084
Okay, cover me!
698
00:45:53,168 --> 00:45:56,087
Come on, let's go! Let's go! Let's kill 'em!
699
00:45:57,047 --> 00:45:59,758
-Come on, guys. That's it.
-Oh, sure.
700
00:45:59,841 --> 00:46:01,051
(LAUGHS)
701
00:46:03,178 --> 00:46:06,264
Hey, Larry! Larry, again. Do it again, Larry!
702
00:46:18,151 --> 00:46:19,778
CAMPERS: (CHANTING)
It's all right, it's okay!
703
00:46:19,861 --> 00:46:21,446
We can beat 'em anyway!
704
00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:23,156
It's all right, it's okay!
705
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,532
We can beat 'em anyway!
706
00:46:24,616 --> 00:46:26,409
It's all right, it's okay!
707
00:46:26,493 --> 00:46:28,119
We can beat 'em anyway!
708
00:46:28,203 --> 00:46:29,621
It's all right, it's okay!
709
00:46:29,704 --> 00:46:31,247
We can beat 'em anyway!
710
00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:34,793
Okay, the zone's not working.
711
00:46:35,835 --> 00:46:38,338
They're a little bit too good
to cover man to man,
712
00:46:38,421 --> 00:46:40,298
and we can't shoot for shit.
713
00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:42,425
What kind of talk is that for a coach, huh?
714
00:46:42,509 --> 00:46:45,095
-Yeah, Trip.
-Look, I'm not gonna lie to you guys.
715
00:46:45,178 --> 00:46:47,180
There's no way we're gonna beat this team.
716
00:46:47,263 --> 00:46:50,308
-What are we gonna do, Trip?
-We're gonna lose.
717
00:46:50,392 --> 00:46:51,434
What?
718
00:46:52,477 --> 00:46:55,897
But we can lose with some self-respect.
And here's the idea.
719
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:02,862
(CHANTING) Go, North Star, go!
720
00:47:02,946 --> 00:47:07,283
Go, North Star, go!
Go, North Star, go! Go, North Star, go!
721
00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:12,747
Morty, nice team spirit.
722
00:47:13,373 --> 00:47:16,001
I'll talk to you after the game, Tripper.
723
00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:17,877
-How we doing?
-Late as usual, Morty.
724
00:47:17,961 --> 00:47:19,379
Where were you, young man?
725
00:47:19,462 --> 00:47:21,381
Okay, you guys, a little teamwork, now.
726
00:47:29,431 --> 00:47:30,473
Yeah!
727
00:47:35,186 --> 00:47:36,521
(MOUTHING)
728
00:47:41,151 --> 00:47:43,653
Spaz! Get in. Spaz, hurry up!
729
00:47:48,992 --> 00:47:52,537
This is the proudest moment
in North Star history!
730
00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:09,586
(GARGLING)
731
00:48:09,596 --> 00:48:10,847
(GARGLING)
732
00:48:11,181 --> 00:48:12,515
(SCATTING)
733
00:48:15,685 --> 00:48:18,563
Forget it, Spaz. They all want me.
734
00:48:21,566 --> 00:48:23,359
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
735
00:48:25,195 --> 00:48:27,322
You know, Candace is
sure looking good tonight.
736
00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:30,658
So he offered me 200 bucks
to run the sailing program.
737
00:48:30,742 --> 00:48:34,996
I said, "Forget it!" I mean, 200 bucks
doesn't even buy me a pair of shoes.
738
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,206
I mean, I'm the best.
739
00:48:37,332 --> 00:48:39,626
Now the serious partying can begin.
740
00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:41,044
-Okay.
-Hey.
741
00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:45,840
Okay! Virgins on the right,
non-virgins on the left.
742
00:48:46,508 --> 00:48:49,552
You fellows can divide them up
any way you like.
743
00:48:56,976 --> 00:48:58,853
I got the virgins this time,
you had them last time.
744
00:48:58,937 --> 00:49:00,563
Okay, you got them,
but I get them next time.
745
00:49:00,647 --> 00:49:01,856
-Okay, buddy.
-Let's go. There's two right there.
746
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:02,941
Come on.
747
00:49:05,318 --> 00:49:06,611
-Hi, Roxanne.
-Hi, Morty.
748
00:49:06,694 --> 00:49:08,029
Really groovy tunes, eh?
749
00:49:11,574 --> 00:49:13,493
Hi, Jackie. Hi, Wendy.
750
00:49:15,370 --> 00:49:17,997
There's Jackie.
Why don't you go ask her to dance?
751
00:49:18,081 --> 00:49:22,502
-No, that Wendy's driving me wild.
-Yeah, but Jackie wants it.
752
00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:25,964
I have to talk with Roxanne
753
00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:28,341
about a highly personal matter
about one of the campers.
754
00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:29,759
Will you excuse us for a second?
755
00:49:29,843 --> 00:49:31,678
-Yeah, well, I was...
-Yeah.
756
00:49:38,685 --> 00:49:42,939
Is that a bra you're wearing, or are you
expecting an assassination attempt?
757
00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:49,320
Are those Clorets in your pocket
or are you just glad to see me?
758
00:49:49,404 --> 00:49:53,366
Okay. We're even. Three years of this.
759
00:49:54,742 --> 00:49:57,036
I don't think I have many lines left.
760
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,247
Frankly, Roxanne, I'm frightened.
761
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:01,833
Oh, don't go human on me now, Trip.
762
00:50:02,041 --> 00:50:03,960
I really like to dance.
763
00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:09,591
It's the music, I guess. It starts my feet
tapping and I get all happy inside.
764
00:50:09,674 --> 00:50:11,634
I guess it's just something I was born with.
765
00:50:11,718 --> 00:50:13,595
Kind of a birth defect, huh?
766
00:50:14,304 --> 00:50:18,141
-Let's go get some air.
-I think not.
767
00:50:20,018 --> 00:50:21,644
Well, I'm trying.
768
00:50:24,022 --> 00:50:25,732
So, keep trying.
769
00:50:27,609 --> 00:50:29,611
I gotta go change the record.
770
00:50:32,447 --> 00:50:36,951
You can change the record,
but don't you change. Promise me?
771
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,539
I'll be waiting right here.
772
00:50:41,623 --> 00:50:44,167
Hurry! Rush, darling! Rush, darling.
773
00:51:11,486 --> 00:51:13,863
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)
774
00:51:18,034 --> 00:51:20,328
-You know something, A.L.?
-What?
775
00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:23,873
-This is a very serious moment.
-It is?
776
00:51:25,333 --> 00:51:27,710
Don't you know what tonight is?
777
00:51:27,794 --> 00:51:29,754
(ROMANTIC BALLAD PLAYING)
778
00:51:30,046 --> 00:51:32,298
Tonight's our third anniversary.
779
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:36,135
-Three years ago, tonight, we met.
-Oh, that is serious.
780
00:51:36,219 --> 00:51:38,554
Oh, God, I'm sorry. I forgot.
781
00:51:49,565 --> 00:51:51,401
Happy anniversary.
782
00:51:55,154 --> 00:51:58,783
You know, Wheels, for a jerk,
you're really a nice guy.
783
00:51:59,826 --> 00:52:00,994
Well.
784
00:52:01,661 --> 00:52:03,413
-Come on, let's dance.
-Oh, no.
785
00:52:03,496 --> 00:52:06,082
-Come on!
-No, I don't know how.
786
00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:10,295
One, two, three. Simple as that.
Come on, let's dance.
787
00:52:11,087 --> 00:52:13,089
I'II lead, you follow.
788
00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:32,442
TRIPPER ON P.A.:
Attention, campers.
789
00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:35,361
Arts and crafts has been
canceled due to bad taste.
790
00:52:35,445 --> 00:52:37,947
All junior girls are now junior boys.
791
00:52:38,031 --> 00:52:39,115
And Nurse Omako says
792
00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:42,535
that the raccoon fever
epidemic is officially over.
793
00:52:42,618 --> 00:52:44,662
Hey, you on the water skis!
794
00:52:44,746 --> 00:52:45,788
(EXCLAIMS)
795
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:57,300
-I saw you dancing with Roxanne.
-Oh, yeah?
796
00:53:00,303 --> 00:53:02,722
Well, she sort of cornered me,
797
00:53:02,805 --> 00:53:05,308
and there was nothing
I could do without embarrassing her.
798
00:53:06,476 --> 00:53:07,643
Do you like her?
799
00:53:10,146 --> 00:53:13,941
Well, I feel sorry for her, you know?
She's got a glass eye.
800
00:53:14,025 --> 00:53:16,069
And I'm one of the few people
801
00:53:16,152 --> 00:53:18,738
who knows exactly which eye to look
at when they're talking to her,
802
00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:20,990
so she's sort of fixated on me.
803
00:53:22,492 --> 00:53:23,659
Well, I like her.
804
00:53:24,494 --> 00:53:26,412
Well, you're not exactly
known for your taste.
805
00:53:28,664 --> 00:53:32,585
I'II probably just use her
for the rest of the summer, and then
806
00:53:33,169 --> 00:53:37,673
throw her on the scrap heap with all the rest
of the women that I've destroyed.
807
00:53:40,176 --> 00:53:42,178
I have to go on this overnight.
808
00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:45,932
I'm taking the ClTs on
an overnight for the next couple of days,
809
00:53:46,015 --> 00:53:48,226
so you're gonna have to
do your own training, son.
810
00:53:48,309 --> 00:53:51,270
I want you to run two miles today,
and two and a half tomorrow.
811
00:53:51,354 --> 00:53:52,772
I've never run that far.
812
00:53:52,855 --> 00:53:54,982
Neither have I, but somebody's gotta do it.
813
00:53:55,066 --> 00:53:58,403
I can't be expected to do it.
Somebody's gotta do it,
814
00:53:58,528 --> 00:54:02,323
and it can't be me, because I'm too busy.
815
00:54:02,407 --> 00:54:04,575
I have responsibilities.
816
00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:07,787
I'm the entertainment director
for the overnight.
817
00:54:07,870 --> 00:54:09,205
Come here.
818
00:54:09,872 --> 00:54:13,126
Somebody's gotta make these PA
announcements for me while I'm gone.
819
00:54:13,209 --> 00:54:15,962
Wake up. Lights out. Public Service.
820
00:54:16,045 --> 00:54:17,338
Otherwise, I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble.
821
00:54:17,422 --> 00:54:18,548
-No.
-So, I'd appreciate it
822
00:54:18,631 --> 00:54:20,675
-if you could help me out on this...
-No, Trip, I don't wanna
823
00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:24,429
-do the announcement. No... Wear...
-And accept this nomination.
824
00:54:26,973 --> 00:54:28,182
-Trip.
-Okay, now,
825
00:54:28,266 --> 00:54:30,560
all you have to do is turn on
this power switch here.
826
00:54:30,643 --> 00:54:31,978
-Everything will be hunky-dory, okay?
-No, Trip,
827
00:54:32,061 --> 00:54:33,479
I don't wanna do the announcements.
Come on...
828
00:54:33,563 --> 00:54:36,691
And you can start by telling
all the CITs to meet me
829
00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:39,152
down at the boat dock immediamente.
830
00:54:39,235 --> 00:54:41,028
I'll see you in a couple days.
831
00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:47,702
Hey, remember,
run two miles, then two and a half,
832
00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:50,872
and then run three or four
if I don't come back, all right?
833
00:54:53,082 --> 00:54:55,668
-CROCKETT: Problem?
-We don't have steering problems,
834
00:54:55,751 --> 00:54:56,836
we've got manpower problems.
835
00:54:56,919 --> 00:54:58,671
LANCE: You're going too fast, Trip,
slow down.
836
00:54:58,754 --> 00:55:00,256
Oh, no, don't.
837
00:55:01,257 --> 00:55:03,259
-Okay, Finkel.
-What?
838
00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:05,720
-Paddle!
-Hey, you're splashing me!
839
00:55:05,803 --> 00:55:07,305
Paddle!
840
00:55:07,430 --> 00:55:10,475
-Nice and even backstroke, Hardware.
-Yes, sir.
841
00:55:13,186 --> 00:55:18,024
Spaz, keep us in the sun.
I wanna even out my tan.
842
00:55:19,150 --> 00:55:21,777
Look at that! Got it?
843
00:55:24,113 --> 00:55:25,990
-Spaz!
-Hey, Spaz!
844
00:55:26,699 --> 00:55:32,538
TRIPPER: (SINGING) You love me, baby
But I love you and you love me
845
00:55:32,622 --> 00:55:35,791
So let's just walla walla
846
00:55:35,917 --> 00:55:40,004
Six to eight hours a day
Down by the mango tree
847
00:55:40,129 --> 00:55:43,007
Dang it, you, dang it, you
Dang it, you said
848
00:55:43,799 --> 00:55:47,053
I love you If you love me
849
00:55:47,136 --> 00:55:49,514
Come on, you know the words, Rocky!
850
00:55:49,597 --> 00:55:53,935
BOTH:
I love me, so let's walla walla
851
00:55:54,310 --> 00:55:57,980
Down by the mango tree
852
00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:05,029
ALL: And I love you, if you love me
853
00:56:05,112 --> 00:56:09,158
But you love you, and I love me
854
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:14,205
So let's walla walla
Down by the mango tree
855
00:56:14,288 --> 00:56:18,543
Let's walla walla
Down by the mango tree
856
00:56:29,387 --> 00:56:31,514
Have you kissed many guys?
857
00:56:32,974 --> 00:56:36,185
-Does family count?
-No, like, I meant real guys.
858
00:56:37,353 --> 00:56:41,983
Well, two. Only, one was a real creep.
859
00:56:44,193 --> 00:56:46,153
How did the creep do it?
860
00:56:47,154 --> 00:56:48,948
Spaz, what do you mean, how did he do it?
861
00:56:49,031 --> 00:56:52,952
No, like, I mean,
did he ask you, or did he just do it?
862
00:56:54,287 --> 00:56:55,913
He just did it.
863
00:57:00,042 --> 00:57:01,419
It's a weird moon.
864
00:57:04,005 --> 00:57:05,715
The moon kills, you know.
865
00:57:07,508 --> 00:57:09,260
It feeds off the earth.
866
00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,179
On a night like this,
867
00:57:12,555 --> 00:57:14,432
one of us could get up
in the middle of the night,
868
00:57:14,515 --> 00:57:16,726
grab an ax, and cut somebody's head off.
869
00:57:17,768 --> 00:57:19,645
(IMITATING WOLF HOWLING)
870
00:57:19,729 --> 00:57:21,439
TRIPPER: I remember a night like this
a few years ago.
871
00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:25,735
A guy and a girl went out driving,
it was one of their first dates.
872
00:57:25,818 --> 00:57:28,613
It started out kind of casual,
but they ended up deciding to go park,
873
00:57:28,696 --> 00:57:31,157
not too far from here, as a matter of fact.
874
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:34,285
While they're going at it,
listening to the radio,
875
00:57:34,368 --> 00:57:36,537
all of a sudden, a news bulletin broke in.
876
00:57:36,621 --> 00:57:38,998
"A dangerous lunatic has escaped
877
00:57:39,707 --> 00:57:42,960
"from the hospital for
the criminally insane at Two Pines."
878
00:57:43,210 --> 00:57:45,129
Oh, come on, Trip.
879
00:57:45,254 --> 00:57:49,508
They described him
as a monster, six-and-a-half-feet tall,
880
00:57:49,592 --> 00:57:51,802
260 pounds,
881
00:57:52,261 --> 00:57:56,432
with one horrible distinguishing feature,
882
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:01,771
a sharpened stainless-steel hook
883
00:58:03,147 --> 00:58:05,858
where his right hand used to be.
884
00:58:07,610 --> 00:58:09,153
That was enough for the guy.
885
00:58:09,570 --> 00:58:12,865
He slammed the car into gear,
floored it, bounced off a tree,
886
00:58:12,948 --> 00:58:15,326
didn't stop till they got to the girl's house.
887
00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:17,870
Got out of his side, walked around to hers.
888
00:58:18,412 --> 00:58:22,458
There, hanging in the door,
covered with blood,
889
00:58:23,668 --> 00:58:25,503
was a stainless-steel hook.
890
00:58:26,462 --> 00:58:29,674
The strangest part,
is that after all these years,
891
00:58:29,757 --> 00:58:33,719
after the biggest manhunt
in Two Pines' history,
892
00:58:33,803 --> 00:58:35,471
they never found the killer.
893
00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:40,893
Some people say
he's still up here in the woods,
894
00:58:40,976 --> 00:58:43,604
waiting for the chance to kill again.
895
00:58:45,981 --> 00:58:47,400
And I say...
896
00:58:48,984 --> 00:58:50,236
I say they're right!
897
00:58:50,361 --> 00:58:51,904
(ALL SCREAMING)
898
00:58:56,784 --> 00:58:58,285
(ALL LAUGHING)
899
00:58:58,953 --> 00:59:02,039
-Hey, my dinner!
-Hey, listen, that's a bullshit story.
900
00:59:02,123 --> 00:59:04,542
No, you guys, it's true. I heard it before.
901
00:59:04,625 --> 00:59:06,794
-Yeah.
-Only, I heard it was on a beach.
902
00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:07,962
-Yeah.
-Yeah, well...
903
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:09,422
No, I heard it happened in a park.
904
00:59:09,797 --> 00:59:12,258
Oh, I heard it,
but the guy was missing a foot.
905
00:59:13,342 --> 00:59:16,178
How could the guy have a hook on his foot?
906
00:59:16,262 --> 00:59:17,763
(ALL LAUGHING)
907
00:59:24,103 --> 00:59:27,606
-ROXANNE: Now, that was nice, Tripper.
-Thank you.
908
00:59:28,691 --> 00:59:30,526
Thank you, very much.
909
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:34,864
I think I am lying on some sort of animal,
910
00:59:34,947 --> 00:59:36,657
like a porcupine.
911
00:59:38,534 --> 00:59:40,536
-Just a broken beer bottle.
-ROXANNE: Oh.
912
00:59:41,370 --> 00:59:44,331
ROXANNE: l was wondering
what you were yelling about.
913
00:59:46,041 --> 00:59:49,044
-TRIPPER: Where are you going?
-I'm going swimming.
914
00:59:49,879 --> 00:59:51,589
(WATER SPLASHING)
915
00:59:51,672 --> 00:59:55,009
-ROXANNE: The water's great! Come on in.
-No!
916
00:59:55,092 --> 00:59:57,094
TRIPPER: You're not supposed to swim
for half an hour
917
00:59:57,178 --> 00:59:59,221
after close physical contact,
918
00:59:59,305 --> 01:00:02,767
-you get bad cramps.
-Come on, chicken, it's not so cold.
919
01:00:02,850 --> 01:00:05,686
-No, I know you're lying.
-ROXANNE: Come on.
920
01:00:06,854 --> 01:00:08,189
TRIPPER: All right.
921
01:00:10,858 --> 01:00:12,234
(TRIPPER EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)
922
01:00:15,029 --> 01:00:18,449
-It's not so bad, is it?
-Worse than I ever imagined!
923
01:00:20,743 --> 01:00:23,245
Come here, there's a real cold spot.
924
01:00:34,048 --> 01:00:35,841
I've heard of the buddy system,
but this is ridiculous.
925
01:00:35,925 --> 01:00:39,512
Tripper, you really talk too much.
926
01:00:39,595 --> 01:00:41,931
Well, I was just wondering if these
were shark-infested waters.
927
01:00:42,014 --> 01:00:43,349
(CHUCKLING) Shut up.
928
01:00:50,397 --> 01:00:53,984
-Hey, there is a shark down there.
-TRIPPER: My God, there is.
929
01:00:54,068 --> 01:00:55,194
I think we'd better go back
930
01:00:55,277 --> 01:00:58,113
to my sleeping bag
before something goes wrong.
931
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:03,494
What happened? Where were you?
932
01:01:04,954 --> 01:01:08,332
-l was with Jackie in the woods.
-In the woods?
933
01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:11,377
-Right where you want her.
-Yes.
934
01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:16,298
Oh, Spaz! You old make-out master!
How far did you get?
935
01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:18,968
Oh, we just went down to Lookout Point,
and then we got cold...
936
01:01:19,051 --> 01:01:21,720
No, no, no, no! How did you make out?
937
01:01:22,513 --> 01:01:24,390
Well, you know, we just kind of talked.
938
01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:27,643
You had her in the woods,
and you just talked?
939
01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:29,812
-No, no, well...
-You didn't do anything.
940
01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:32,565
-We were sort of sitting...
-You didn't do anything!
941
01:01:34,775 --> 01:01:38,153
-I held her hand when we walked home.
-Held her hand?
942
01:01:40,614 --> 01:01:42,992
Spaz, you're on your way!
943
01:01:43,075 --> 01:01:45,160
-That's great!
-Yeah? Yeah?
944
01:01:45,244 --> 01:01:46,871
-Held her hand?
-Yeah.
945
01:01:46,954 --> 01:01:48,873
-In the woods?
-Yeah.
946
01:01:48,956 --> 01:01:51,000
-And it was dark?
-Yeah.
947
01:01:51,584 --> 01:01:52,877
Wow!
948
01:01:54,003 --> 01:01:57,882
-Let's celebrate.
-Right.
949
01:01:58,507 --> 01:02:00,342
Here, help yourself.
950
01:02:00,426 --> 01:02:03,679
-I think I'll have Cheezies.
-The Cheezies?
951
01:02:03,762 --> 01:02:06,015
Yeah. I'll have Cheezies, too.
952
01:02:06,098 --> 01:02:07,349
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
953
01:02:14,023 --> 01:02:16,859
-Bobby?
-Oh, no.
954
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:21,864
Oh, no, don't ever call me Bobby. All right?
955
01:02:22,865 --> 01:02:26,368
I mean, my grandmother
calls me Bobby. I hate it.
956
01:02:26,911 --> 01:02:29,371
So, I like it when you call me Crockett.
957
01:02:29,455 --> 01:02:31,081
-Okay.
-All right?
958
01:02:32,166 --> 01:02:35,961
-Wanna hear me say it?
-Yeah, okay.
959
01:02:36,045 --> 01:02:38,130
Okay. Crockett.
960
01:02:41,592 --> 01:02:42,927
Crockett.
961
01:02:45,804 --> 01:02:47,181
Crockett.
962
01:02:54,063 --> 01:02:56,065
(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
963
01:03:22,091 --> 01:03:23,759
Land! Land!
964
01:03:25,427 --> 01:03:27,429
Land! Soil! Terra Firma!
965
01:03:27,513 --> 01:03:29,264
(EXCLAIMING HAPPILY)
966
01:03:45,322 --> 01:03:47,741
-Going in. Yes, you are.
-No, no, no, no!
967
01:03:57,668 --> 01:03:59,837
Looking good. All right!
968
01:04:02,256 --> 01:04:03,507
TRIPPER ON P.A.:
Important announcement!
969
01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:06,385
Some hunters have been
seen in the woods near Piney Ridge Trail,
970
01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:07,928
and the Fish and Game
Commission has raised
971
01:04:08,012 --> 01:04:10,681
the legal kill limit on campers to three!
972
01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:14,268
So, if you're hiking today,
please wear something bright, and keep low.
973
01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:15,769
Good luck.
974
01:04:26,113 --> 01:04:27,197
What's the matter with you?
975
01:04:27,281 --> 01:04:30,367
You're pacing like
an expectant father with the clap.
976
01:04:31,660 --> 01:04:33,037
(RUDY SIGHS)
977
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:35,664
-The Olympiad's tomorrow.
-So?
978
01:04:37,124 --> 01:04:40,085
-I wanna do well.
-You wanna do well?
979
01:04:40,169 --> 01:04:42,588
Bet every dime you got on Camp Mohawk.
980
01:04:42,671 --> 01:04:44,048
I don't wanna mess up again.
981
01:04:45,966 --> 01:04:48,761
Well, let's see what you're entered in.
982
01:04:51,513 --> 01:04:53,724
Gerner. Gerner, Gerner.
983
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:55,267
(GASPS)
984
01:04:55,350 --> 01:04:56,435
The potato race.
985
01:04:57,436 --> 01:05:00,355
Damn it, don't they know you're just a kid?
986
01:05:00,939 --> 01:05:05,319
Two years ago,
a boy fell on a potato, mashed himself.
987
01:05:06,403 --> 01:05:10,199
Let's see what else you're in.
(GASPS) Egg toss!
988
01:05:10,783 --> 01:05:12,117
Oh, no.
989
01:05:12,201 --> 01:05:16,622
Probably, the most punishing
of all food-related sports.
990
01:05:16,705 --> 01:05:20,250
-l'm good at that one.
-Sure, you got the build for it.
991
01:05:21,043 --> 01:05:22,461
Oh, don't worry.
992
01:05:22,544 --> 01:05:25,714
You won't screw up tomorrow,
no worse than anybody else, anyway.
993
01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:31,053
Are you gonna go
and see Roxanne after Morty's rally?
994
01:05:33,222 --> 01:05:34,306
Could be.
995
01:05:36,725 --> 01:05:38,310
After the way she treated me
on the overnight,
996
01:05:38,393 --> 01:05:41,939
I'm a little afraid to be alone with her,
and I think you know what I mean.
997
01:05:42,022 --> 01:05:43,899
I think you like her.
998
01:05:45,109 --> 01:05:48,821
Really. Admit it.
You really do like her, don't you?
999
01:05:49,530 --> 01:05:50,572
Ooh!
1000
01:05:50,739 --> 01:05:55,035
Yes, you do. Come on, admit it. You like her.
1001
01:05:56,620 --> 01:05:59,081
You like her. You won't admit it.
1002
01:06:11,927 --> 01:06:13,178
You pig!
1003
01:06:23,730 --> 01:06:26,525
Hi. I'm Morty Melnick.
1004
01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:28,527
ALL: Hi, Mickey!
1005
01:06:29,111 --> 01:06:31,697
And we at Camp North Star,
would like to welcome
1006
01:06:31,780 --> 01:06:33,407
our Camp Mohawk competitors...
1007
01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:36,076
-Camp North Star sucks!
-Camp North Star sucks!
1008
01:06:36,326 --> 01:06:39,663
Let me at 'em, let me at 'em, let me at 'em!
1009
01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:41,039
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
1010
01:06:41,123 --> 01:06:42,666
Quiet down, quiet down.
1011
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:45,794
To our annual two-day Olympiad.
1012
01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:49,965
So, let the games begin!
1013
01:07:15,407 --> 01:07:16,658
(CRYING)
1014
01:07:25,667 --> 01:07:26,668
(GUNSHOT)
1015
01:07:41,183 --> 01:07:43,227
Uh-oh.
1016
01:07:44,895 --> 01:07:47,147
You got any last-minute advice, Trip?
1017
01:07:47,231 --> 01:07:52,027
Yeah, try to jump very, very high.
1018
01:07:53,403 --> 01:07:54,905
Hey, yeah. Thanks.
1019
01:07:55,364 --> 01:07:56,698
Good luck.
1020
01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:03,163
Well, we're getting creamed
all over the place.
1021
01:08:04,039 --> 01:08:05,499
I'm your guy.
1022
01:08:12,381 --> 01:08:14,383
-Come on, jump!
-Over!
1023
01:08:14,633 --> 01:08:15,717
Ooh!
1024
01:08:16,635 --> 01:08:18,220
Hey, are you okay?
1025
01:08:24,476 --> 01:08:26,895
Get into it! Come on, do it!
1026
01:08:33,944 --> 01:08:36,113
Just let me know
when you've had enough, all right?
1027
01:08:38,740 --> 01:08:40,075
You're out!
1028
01:08:51,253 --> 01:08:52,713
-All right!
-Come on, Jackie!
1029
01:08:52,796 --> 01:08:53,797
Come on!
1030
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:54,965
Go, go, go!
1031
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:02,681
-Watch out, Jackie!
-No, don't!
1032
01:09:02,764 --> 01:09:04,433
(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
1033
01:09:04,766 --> 01:09:06,018
Oh, my God!
1034
01:09:12,024 --> 01:09:14,776
She's hurt.
Hey, get the stretcher from the infirmary.
1035
01:09:14,860 --> 01:09:16,737
I think her leg's broken.
1036
01:09:30,751 --> 01:09:32,336
MORTY: Hey, gang, come on.
1037
01:09:32,419 --> 01:09:35,172
Look it, just 'cause we're losing,
doesn't mean it's all over.
1038
01:09:35,255 --> 01:09:36,506
Cut the crap, Morty.
1039
01:09:36,590 --> 01:09:38,633
I mean, the Mohawks have
beaten us the last 12 years,
1040
01:09:38,717 --> 01:09:40,052
they're gonna beat us again.
1041
01:09:40,135 --> 01:09:44,056
That's just the attitude we don't need, Phil.
1042
01:09:45,223 --> 01:09:48,727
Sure. Mohawk has
beaten us 12 years in a row.
1043
01:09:49,311 --> 01:09:51,021
Sure, they're terrific athletes.
1044
01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:52,898
They've got the best equipment
that money can buy.
1045
01:09:52,981 --> 01:09:56,651
Hell, every team they're sending over here
has their own personal masseuse.
1046
01:09:57,402 --> 01:09:59,279
Not masseur, masseuse.
1047
01:10:00,405 --> 01:10:02,324
But it doesn't matter.
1048
01:10:03,158 --> 01:10:06,995
Do you know that every Mohawk competitor
has an electrocardiogram,
1049
01:10:07,496 --> 01:10:10,082
blood and urine tests every 48 hours,
1050
01:10:10,165 --> 01:10:13,585
to see if there's any change
in his physical condition?
1051
01:10:13,668 --> 01:10:16,254
Do you know that they use
the most sophisticated training methods
1052
01:10:16,338 --> 01:10:19,174
from the Soviet Union,
East and West Germany,
1053
01:10:19,257 --> 01:10:22,010
and the newest Olympic power,
Trinidad and Tobago?
1054
01:10:22,094 --> 01:10:23,887
But it doesn't matter.
1055
01:10:23,970 --> 01:10:28,016
It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!
1056
01:10:28,100 --> 01:10:32,521
I tell you, it just doesn't matter!
It just doesn't matter!
1057
01:10:32,646 --> 01:10:34,481
It just doesn't matter!
1058
01:10:34,564 --> 01:10:38,360
It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!
1059
01:10:38,443 --> 01:10:40,445
It just doesn't matter!
1060
01:10:40,529 --> 01:10:45,200
And even... And even if we win, if we win!
1061
01:10:45,409 --> 01:10:46,451
Ha!
1062
01:10:46,535 --> 01:10:48,620
Even if we win,
1063
01:10:48,703 --> 01:10:51,456
even if we play so far over our heads
1064
01:10:51,540 --> 01:10:54,793
that our noses bleed for a week to ten days,
1065
01:10:54,876 --> 01:10:59,798
even if God in heaven above
comes down and points his hand
1066
01:10:59,881 --> 01:11:01,925
at our side of the field,
1067
01:11:02,008 --> 01:11:04,970
even if every man, woman, and child
1068
01:11:05,053 --> 01:11:09,975
held hands together
and prayed for us to win,
1069
01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:11,893
it just wouldn't matter,
1070
01:11:11,977 --> 01:11:14,980
because all the really good-looking girls
1071
01:11:15,063 --> 01:11:17,441
would still go out
with the guys from Mohawk,
1072
01:11:17,524 --> 01:11:19,776
'cause they got all the money!
1073
01:11:20,277 --> 01:11:21,278
Ah!
1074
01:11:21,695 --> 01:11:26,575
It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose!
1075
01:11:26,908 --> 01:11:29,578
It just doesn't matter.
1076
01:11:29,911 --> 01:11:33,582
It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!
1077
01:11:33,665 --> 01:11:37,169
It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!
1078
01:11:37,252 --> 01:11:40,797
It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!
1079
01:11:40,881 --> 01:11:44,009
It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!
1080
01:11:44,092 --> 01:11:45,969
(ALL CONTINUE CHANTING)
1081
01:12:01,443 --> 01:12:03,236
Starters, take your mark.
1082
01:12:03,612 --> 01:12:04,905
(GUNSHOT)
1083
01:12:07,324 --> 01:12:10,285
-Come on!
-Come on!
1084
01:12:43,318 --> 01:12:44,569
(SCREAMS)
1085
01:13:00,585 --> 01:13:02,587
(LAUGHING AND WHOOPING)
1086
01:13:08,051 --> 01:13:10,303
Okay, you guys. We got two outs,
it's the bottom of the ninth.
1087
01:13:10,387 --> 01:13:12,305
Carla is our winning run on second base.
1088
01:13:12,389 --> 01:13:13,598
What do you think we ought to do, Trip?
1089
01:13:13,682 --> 01:13:15,600
Well, Jody, I don't wanna put
any more pressure on you
1090
01:13:15,684 --> 01:13:17,018
than is absolutely necessary,
1091
01:13:17,102 --> 01:13:20,689
but there is a scout here today from
the New York Yankees organization,
1092
01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:23,024
and if my ball club could win,
well, I would get a chance
1093
01:13:23,108 --> 01:13:25,151
to coach at the professional level.
1094
01:13:25,235 --> 01:13:27,988
Seriously, Jody. You see that girl out
there with the big boobs?
1095
01:13:28,446 --> 01:13:31,783
-Hit the ball to her, she can't catch.
-No sweat.
1096
01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:34,202
-All right. Well, let's go.
-Come on, Jody.
1097
01:13:34,286 --> 01:13:35,870
All right, Jody!
1098
01:13:46,464 --> 01:13:47,757
Double time, double time!
1099
01:14:11,406 --> 01:14:12,490
Come on, Wheels!
1100
01:14:13,283 --> 01:14:14,492
REFEREE: Ready?
1101
01:14:15,744 --> 01:14:16,786
Go!
1102
01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:37,849
God, your pits stink.
1103
01:14:45,357 --> 01:14:47,108
Watch it, watch it.
1104
01:14:51,154 --> 01:14:54,199
One, two, three!
1105
01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:01,665
How could they do this to me?
1106
01:15:01,748 --> 01:15:04,542
I can't stack. I can't even walk.
1107
01:15:04,626 --> 01:15:07,837
Come off it, Spaz.
You can so. I've seen you walk.
1108
01:15:07,921 --> 01:15:11,383
Anyway, you can do anything you want to,
if you want to bad enough.
1109
01:15:11,466 --> 01:15:14,094
Besides, I know you can.
1110
01:15:15,512 --> 01:15:16,846
Come on.
1111
01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:25,230
CAMPERS: (CHANTING) Spaz! Spaz!
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1112
01:15:25,313 --> 01:15:29,484
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1113
01:15:29,567 --> 01:15:33,154
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1114
01:15:33,238 --> 01:15:34,823
Stackers get ready!
1115
01:15:34,906 --> 01:15:36,658
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1116
01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:37,909
Get set!
1117
01:15:37,992 --> 01:15:39,911
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1118
01:15:39,994 --> 01:15:41,079
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
1119
01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:44,666
Spaz! Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!
1120
01:15:44,999 --> 01:15:46,751
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
1121
01:16:20,201 --> 01:16:22,245
-(BLOWS WHISTLE)
-(ALL LAUGHING AND CHEERING)
1122
01:16:22,328 --> 01:16:23,413
Spaz!
1123
01:16:26,750 --> 01:16:28,626
You did it! I told you!
1124
01:16:33,047 --> 01:16:35,550
(MUMBLING DELIGHTEDLY)
1125
01:16:38,553 --> 01:16:42,891
That's right, Fink.
Look at those steaming weenies.
1126
01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:46,227
And you know what they're saying, Larry?
1127
01:16:46,311 --> 01:16:50,315
They're saying, "This is the year
that Fink beats The Stomach."
1128
01:16:52,859 --> 01:16:56,571
No. It's a couple of guys over here,
but they're saying it.
1129
01:16:57,447 --> 01:17:00,241
No! Save it.
1130
01:17:03,453 --> 01:17:05,288
Save it for this guy.
1131
01:17:09,626 --> 01:17:11,294
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
1132
01:17:31,231 --> 01:17:34,442
-What, no mustard?
-Okay, hands up.
1133
01:17:34,776 --> 01:17:36,653
You guys know the rules.
You got five minutes.
1134
01:17:36,736 --> 01:17:38,279
Half-eaten weenies don't count.
1135
01:17:38,363 --> 01:17:40,865
May the best man win. Ready, set...
1136
01:17:44,577 --> 01:17:46,704
You gotta want it, Fink!
1137
01:17:46,788 --> 01:17:48,957
Come on, give 100% for us! Come on!
1138
01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:55,171
Come on, you gotta want it, Larry.
You gotta want it. This is your year.
1139
01:17:55,255 --> 01:17:56,631
You gotta want it, Larry.
1140
01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:01,928
Every day I'm eating
more and more hot dogs.
1141
01:18:02,470 --> 01:18:05,807
Come on, pace. Pace, baby. Left. Swallow.
1142
01:18:05,890 --> 01:18:09,435
Right. Swallow.
Fight hard, Larry! You gotta want it!
1143
01:18:10,812 --> 01:18:13,982
The Stomach's worried, Larry.
He doesn't want it bad enough.
1144
01:18:16,150 --> 01:18:20,697
Come on, Fink! This is weenie war! Eat!
1145
01:18:20,780 --> 01:18:23,283
Come on, stretch that stomach, Fink!
1146
01:18:24,826 --> 01:18:27,871
Come on, eat, Fink, eat! Eat!
1147
01:18:30,039 --> 01:18:34,335
Please! Please, Fink, please!
1148
01:18:35,044 --> 01:18:38,214
Larry! Larry! Come on! Eat, Fink!
1149
01:18:38,673 --> 01:18:39,924
Eat!
1150
01:18:40,133 --> 01:18:41,676
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
1151
01:18:45,847 --> 01:18:47,223
The winner!
1152
01:18:51,144 --> 01:18:52,395
(BURPING)
1153
01:18:54,063 --> 01:18:57,859
-Way to go, Fink.
-You beat The Stomach, Larry.
1154
01:19:01,529 --> 01:19:03,781
All right, now, we're close,
and we could win this thing,
1155
01:19:03,865 --> 01:19:05,325
-so let's get serious.
-BOY: Damn right.
1156
01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:06,659
Now, there's only one event left,
1157
01:19:06,743 --> 01:19:09,495
it's a four-mile marathon,
it's worth 20 points.
1158
01:19:09,579 --> 01:19:12,707
Unfortunately, our best distance runner,
Jackie, broke her ankle.
1159
01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:14,584
You jerk.
1160
01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:17,545
So, we need a distance man. Any ideas?
1161
01:19:18,129 --> 01:19:19,964
-You, buddy.
-Don't look at me.
1162
01:19:20,048 --> 01:19:22,175
I'd be puking after the first mile.
1163
01:19:22,258 --> 01:19:24,886
-Well, somebody's gotta do it.
-Finkelstein's your man, sir.
1164
01:19:24,969 --> 01:19:26,888
-Larry Finkelstein.
-Yeah!
1165
01:19:29,641 --> 01:19:32,352
-Here's your man.
-Come on, Tripper. No!
1166
01:19:32,894 --> 01:19:35,939
-Where?
-Right here. Rudy Gerner.
1167
01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:38,358
Please don't.
1168
01:19:38,441 --> 01:19:40,818
-He's the best we got.
-PHIL: Get serious.
1169
01:19:40,902 --> 01:19:43,613
I mean, no offense, Tripper,
but that kid can't even catch a football.
1170
01:19:43,696 --> 01:19:45,573
Well, for your information, Phillip,
1171
01:19:45,657 --> 01:19:50,036
Rudy is a three-time Junior State
Long-Distance Medal Award Winner.
1172
01:19:50,119 --> 01:19:51,829
-Bullshit!
-And he won
1173
01:19:51,913 --> 01:19:55,833
a presidential citation
from his Committee on Physical Fitness.
1174
01:19:56,459 --> 01:19:58,461
-He's lying to me. I know it, he's lying.
-Come on.
1175
01:19:58,544 --> 01:20:01,714
-I can't do it, Tripper.
-Yeah, you can. Believe me.
1176
01:20:02,090 --> 01:20:04,592
Morty, give him a chance.
No one else wants to...
1177
01:20:04,676 --> 01:20:07,387
Come on, Morty! Make up your mind!
1178
01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:10,181
Yeah, come on, Morty,
for once make a decision.
1179
01:20:12,016 --> 01:20:13,935
All right! Gerner runs the marathon.
1180
01:20:14,060 --> 01:20:15,561
(ALL CHEERING)
1181
01:20:18,231 --> 01:20:19,565
What do you think our chances are?
1182
01:20:21,484 --> 01:20:24,696
-I hope I don't let you down, Tripper.
-You won't.
1183
01:20:25,655 --> 01:20:28,449
Let's go get laid before the race, huh?
1184
01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:34,831
-How's the leg?
-It's okay.
1185
01:20:34,914 --> 01:20:36,916
Yeah, for now,
but if you don't win, we cut it off.
1186
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,918
Okay, here's the thing.
1187
01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:41,796
On open ground,
this guy could probably take you,
1188
01:20:41,879 --> 01:20:43,715
but you're running through the woods,
you got a chance.
1189
01:20:43,798 --> 01:20:46,009
You're smaller, and you can run
through the bushes a little faster.
1190
01:20:46,092 --> 01:20:48,594
You can duck underneath them,
you know, you're like a little rabbit. Okay?
1191
01:20:48,678 --> 01:20:49,721
You're Wudy the Wabbit, okay?
1192
01:20:49,804 --> 01:20:52,515
When you're running, think, "I'm Wudy the
Wabbit, I'm Wudy the Wabbit," okay?
1193
01:20:52,598 --> 01:20:54,809
Stay with him, stay right behind him,
until you get to the woods.
1194
01:20:54,892 --> 01:20:56,978
When you get to the woods,
pass him, just fly by him.
1195
01:20:57,061 --> 01:20:59,147
Don't even look in the rear-view
mirror. Just move, move, move!
1196
01:20:59,230 --> 01:21:01,482
You gotta be way ahead of him
when you get to the edge of the woods,
1197
01:21:01,566 --> 01:21:03,526
'cause when you get out,
there's a half a mile of open ground,
1198
01:21:03,609 --> 01:21:04,902
and that's where
you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
1199
01:21:04,986 --> 01:21:07,530
You gotta have a hell of a lead
when you get out of the woods, okay?
1200
01:21:07,613 --> 01:21:09,407
All right, what's your name?
1201
01:21:09,490 --> 01:21:10,533
-Rudy Gerner.
-No, it's not.
1202
01:21:10,616 --> 01:21:12,035
It's Wudy the Wabbit, okay?
Wudy the Wabbit!
1203
01:21:12,118 --> 01:21:13,119
-What's your name?
-Rudy the Rabbit.
1204
01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:15,288
Wudy the Wabbit, the winner.
You're the winner, Wudy the Wabbit.
1205
01:21:17,206 --> 01:21:19,083
Let's hear it for him.
1206
01:21:26,090 --> 01:21:27,675
All right, come on.
1207
01:21:27,759 --> 01:21:30,344
Runners, take your mark!
1208
01:21:31,929 --> 01:21:33,222
Get set!
1209
01:21:34,265 --> 01:21:35,349
(GUNSHOT)
1210
01:21:36,809 --> 01:21:40,188
Wun, you wascal wabbit! Wun!
1211
01:23:03,229 --> 01:23:04,438
(GRUNTS)
1212
01:23:16,075 --> 01:23:17,410
(GRUNTING)
1213
01:23:58,159 --> 01:24:00,077
My God, he's sprinting!
1214
01:24:10,004 --> 01:24:12,006
(CAMPERS CHEERING WILDLY)
1215
01:24:49,085 --> 01:24:52,797
-Bye-bye, Rudy. You did real good.
-Thanks.
1216
01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:56,133
-You coming back next year?
-Yeah, for sure.
1217
01:24:56,217 --> 01:24:58,970
Well, stay in shape.
Get on a weight program.
1218
01:24:59,053 --> 01:25:00,680
Stop hanging around
with all those friends of yours,
1219
01:25:00,763 --> 01:25:02,807
they're a bad influence.
1220
01:25:02,890 --> 01:25:05,017
Thanks, Tripper, for everything.
1221
01:25:06,227 --> 01:25:07,436
Goodbye, champ.
1222
01:25:11,190 --> 01:25:13,401
Go to bed! Yeah.
1223
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:19,323
BOY: Hey, look! There's Gerner!
1224
01:25:23,369 --> 01:25:27,081
-You wanna go to the final campfire?
-Eh... All right.
1225
01:25:29,709 --> 01:25:31,419
If I have to.
1226
01:25:36,507 --> 01:25:38,342
-Hey, Tripper.
-Hey, you guys.
1227
01:25:38,426 --> 01:25:39,510
Hey, Trip.
1228
01:25:39,593 --> 01:25:40,678
Hi.
1229
01:25:43,806 --> 01:25:45,266
Eddy.
1230
01:25:46,809 --> 01:25:48,769
I just wanna say thank you.
1231
01:25:48,853 --> 01:25:51,314
You've all been
a really terrific bunch of CITs,
1232
01:25:51,397 --> 01:25:54,108
and we've had... All had a terrific summer,
1233
01:25:54,900 --> 01:25:58,279
except for a few minor incidents
that I don't wanna go into right now.
1234
01:25:58,821 --> 01:26:02,491
But, through it all,
we share things, and we become closer,
1235
01:26:02,575 --> 01:26:05,369
and that even makes it harder
to say goodbye,
1236
01:26:05,453 --> 01:26:07,163
but I hope you've learned a lot of things,
1237
01:26:07,246 --> 01:26:10,082
I know I have, and I... I just wanna say,
1238
01:26:11,751 --> 01:26:14,128
I hope to see you all again next summer.
1239
01:26:14,211 --> 01:26:16,422
Can I have some applause
for this man, please?
1240
01:26:16,505 --> 01:26:17,882
-All right!
-Come on!
1241
01:26:17,965 --> 01:26:20,009
Hey! Way to go, Mickey!
1242
01:26:20,676 --> 01:26:22,803
CIT: Let's hear it for Mickey!
1243
01:26:22,887 --> 01:26:24,805
-Hey!
-Hey!
1244
01:26:24,930 --> 01:26:26,974
-All right.
-Oh, lovely!
1245
01:26:30,811 --> 01:26:34,357
-Can you get this?
-No.
1246
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:36,275
Yeah, well, I'm very close.
1247
01:26:36,359 --> 01:26:37,860
-Are you close?
-No.
1248
01:26:37,943 --> 01:26:39,195
I can't hold it.
1249
01:26:39,278 --> 01:26:43,616
I can't hold it any longer!
Stick your finger in my ear!
1250
01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:45,201
Help!
1251
01:26:45,284 --> 01:26:47,370
-(CORK POPS)
-(ALL CHEERING)
1252
01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:53,876
CIT: Hey, save enough for us, Tripper.
1253
01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:55,378
Morty.
1254
01:26:55,461 --> 01:26:57,129
No hard feelings?
1255
01:26:57,713 --> 01:26:59,673
-Ah!
-(ALL LAUGHING)
1256
01:27:03,636 --> 01:27:10,559
(SINGING)
We are the CITs, so pity us
1257
01:27:11,394 --> 01:27:17,691
The kids are brats, the food is hideous
1258
01:27:18,234 --> 01:27:24,198
We're gonna smoke and drink
and fool around
1259
01:27:24,281 --> 01:27:27,368
We're nookie bound
1260
01:27:28,035 --> 01:27:34,333
We're the North Star ClTs
1261
01:27:34,417 --> 01:27:38,921
We are the CITs, so pity us
1262
01:27:39,004 --> 01:27:42,800
The kids are brats, the food is hideous
1263
01:27:42,883 --> 01:27:46,679
We're gonna smoke and drink
and fool around
1264
01:27:46,762 --> 01:27:49,849
We're nookie bound
We're North Star ClTs
1265
01:27:49,932 --> 01:27:51,225
Here we go!
1266
01:27:51,308 --> 01:27:54,186
We are the CITs, so pity us
1267
01:27:54,270 --> 01:27:57,440
The kids are brats, the food is hideous
1268
01:27:57,523 --> 01:28:00,234
We're gonna smoke and drink
and fool around
1269
01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:03,779
We're nookie bound
We're North Star ClTs
1270
01:28:03,863 --> 01:28:10,828
We're the North Star ClTs
1271
01:28:15,541 --> 01:28:17,418
(VOCALIZING WILDLY)
1272
01:28:18,586 --> 01:28:19,670
Whoo!
1273
01:28:22,506 --> 01:28:24,383
Here we go, you guys! Let's go!
1274
01:28:24,467 --> 01:28:25,801
End of the summer. You happy?
1275
01:28:25,885 --> 01:28:28,095
-You ready?
-Okay. Okay.
1276
01:28:28,179 --> 01:28:30,431
-There we are.
-Everybody there?
1277
01:28:40,316 --> 01:28:43,652
-Where will I stay?
-My place. Where do you think?
1278
01:28:44,653 --> 01:28:47,448
-Is it big enough?
-It's got a double bed.
1279
01:28:48,616 --> 01:28:51,202
What's the matter with you?
Haven't you ever lived with anyone before?
1280
01:28:52,036 --> 01:28:54,705
No. Have you?
1281
01:28:57,500 --> 01:29:01,795
Pets, you know, a dog, a fish. No, I haven't.
1282
01:29:03,464 --> 01:29:05,883
I've never asked anyone before.
1283
01:29:18,312 --> 01:29:21,106
-Come on, let's go say goodbye to Morty.
-Oh, no.
1284
01:29:28,572 --> 01:29:30,741
-Bye, Morty.
-Bye, Morty.
1285
01:29:33,619 --> 01:29:35,162
Have a nice winter.
1286
01:29:59,019 --> 01:30:02,314
My father's buying a camp next year.
You wanna go up?
1287
01:30:02,398 --> 01:30:06,694
No. I don't think so. I... I kind of like it here.
1288
01:30:06,777 --> 01:30:07,778
Oh.
1289
01:30:43,397 --> 01:30:46,650
Camp!
1290
01:30:48,110 --> 01:30:52,072
Ho!
1291
01:30:59,288 --> 01:31:01,081
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
1292
01:32:19,034 --> 01:32:20,703
Tripper!
1293
01:32:23,497 --> 01:32:24,998
Somebody!
1294
01:32:30,003 --> 01:32:31,046
(SHOUTS)
1295
01:33:18,635 --> 01:33:20,053
Somebody!
94246
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