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1
00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,510
You're traveling
through another dimension-
2
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:15,010
a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind.
3
00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,010
A journey into a wondrous land
4
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,500
whose boundaries
are that of imagination.
5
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,040
That's the signpost up ahead.
6
00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:22,960
Your next stop,
"The Twilight Zone".
7
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:51,950
I told you that Santa Claus
should be back by 6:00.
8
00:00:51,980 --> 00:00:53,950
Come on,
mom, let's go.
9
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,300
Hey, you told me
to tell you when it was 6:30.
10
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,840
It's 6:30.
11
00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:22,180
That's right.
12
00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:24,680
It's exactly 6:30.
13
00:01:25,180 --> 00:01:26,120
So...
14
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:27,040
So what happens now?
15
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,690
You turn into a reindeer?
16
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,190
Would that I could.
17
00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:34,690
I'll have
another one.
18
00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:37,920
You owe me for six
drinks and a sandwich.
19
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,700
That's $3.80.
20
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:19,140
Why do you suppose there
isn't really a Santa Claus?
21
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,200
How's that?
22
00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:27,640
Why isn't there a real Santa
Claus... for kids like that?
23
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,150
What am I supposed to be-
some kind of philosopher?
24
00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,150
You know
what your trouble is?
25
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:35,300
You let that dopey
red suit go to your head.
26
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,100
Are you some kind of a nut?
27
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,060
Here's your change.
28
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,160
I'll flip you-
double or nothing.
29
00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:44,460
What do you think this is,
Monte Carlo?
30
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,060
Finish your sandwich
and get out of here.
31
00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:50,780
I've had enough...
to eat.
32
00:02:57,070 --> 00:02:58,570
Hello, Jack's place.
33
00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,080
No, Jack's not here.
34
00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:01,080
This is Bruce.
35
00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:02,080
Wait a minute.
36
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,680
Santa Claus, I catch
you trying that
37
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:05,660
one more time
38
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:06,760
I'm going to break
both your arms
39
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,840
up to the
shoulder blades.
40
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,080
Now, go on,
get out of here.
41
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:12,190
What's that?
42
00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:15,690
No, it's just Santa Claus
trying to heist the joint.
43
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,100
Thanks a lot, Bruce.
44
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,640
Please, Santa
45
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,150
I want a carriage
and a dolly...
46
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,150
please,
I want a gun...
47
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,650
and a playhouse...
48
00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:16,150
and a set
of soldiers
49
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,150
and a fort...
50
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,660
and oh, please,
Santa Claus
51
00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:21,160
a job
for my daddy.
52
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:22,660
Please,
a big turkey
53
00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:24,660
for our Christmas dinner.
54
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,170
This is Mr. Henry Corwin,
normally unemployed
55
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,670
who once a year takes
the lead role
56
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,170
in the uniquely popular
American institution
57
00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:35,900
that of
a department store Santa Claus
58
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,000
in a road company version of
the night before Christmas
59
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,820
But in just a moment, Mr. Henry
Corwin, ersatz Santa Claus
60
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,320
will enter a strange kind
of north pole
61
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,340
which is one part
the wondrous spirit of Christmas
62
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,420
and one part the magic
that can only be found
63
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,480
in "The Twilight Zone".
64
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:28,020
You should see me
with erector sets.
65
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,030
Corwin, you're an hour late!
66
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,030
I am?
67
00:05:34,070 --> 00:05:35,530
Now, you get up
on your throne
68
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:38,530
and see if you can keep from
disillusioning a lot of kids
69
00:05:38,570 --> 00:05:40,540
that not only isn't
there a Santa Claus
70
00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:43,040
but the one in this store
happens to be a wino
71
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:46,040
who'd be more at home playing
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
72
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,540
Now, get with it,
Santa Claus!
73
00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:04,020
You go ahead.
74
00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,060
You climb up
on his lap.
75
00:06:05,140 --> 00:06:06,520
Go ahead, he
won't hurt you
76
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,580
will you,
Santa Claus?
77
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:08,840
You won't hurt
my little boy.
78
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,540
Go on, tell him!
79
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:13,820
What's your name
little boy?
80
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,900
Percival Smithers.
81
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,570
And what do you want
for Christmas, Percival?
82
00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,180
A new front name.
83
00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:21,320
Percy!
84
00:06:21,510 --> 00:06:23,480
I think
we have...
85
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:27,980
look, mom!
86
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,990
Santa Claus
is loaded.
87
00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,490
You've got
some nerve!
88
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,490
You ought
to be ashamed.
89
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,990
Madam...
I am ashamed.
90
00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:36,990
Come on,
Percival.
91
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,490
I hope this
won't be
92
00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:40,500
a traumatic
experience for you.
93
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,500
Sot!
94
00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:42,560
Is there some
trouble here?
95
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,380
Yes, there's
some trouble.
96
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,380
I shall never trade
in this store again.
97
00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:47,780
It seems you hire
your Santa Clauses
98
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,920
out of a gutter.
99
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,540
Come on, dear
100
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,510
All right,
back to work.
101
00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:54,510
Back to your
positions, please.
102
00:06:58,010 --> 00:07:00,520
And now, Mr. Kris Kringle
of the lower depths
103
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:03,020
since it is only a few hours
to closing time
104
00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:05,540
it is my distinct
pleasure to tell you
105
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,840
that there is no more
need for your services.
106
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,030
You have had it!
107
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:10,530
Now, get out here!
108
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,030
I'd be very glad to.
109
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:15,530
And get that crummy
red suit back
110
00:07:15,570 --> 00:07:17,030
to wherever you
rented it from
111
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,040
before you really tie
one on and destroy it.
112
00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:21,540
You drunk!
113
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:30,050
Thank you very much,
Mr. Dundee.
114
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,550
As to my drinking,
this is indefensible
115
00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:37,550
and you have
my abject apologies.
116
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:42,060
I find of late that I
have very little choice
117
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:46,560
in the matter of
expressing emotions.
118
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:51,570
I can either drink
or I can weep
119
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,070
and drinking is
so much more subtle.
120
00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:55,570
Will you please leave?
121
00:07:55,610 --> 00:07:57,070
As for my
insubordination
122
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,070
I was not rude
123
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:01,080
to that woman.
124
00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:03,780
Someone should remind her
that Christmas
125
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:06,280
is more than barging up
and down department store aisles
126
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,780
and pushing people
out of the way.
127
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:09,790
Now, Corwin...
128
00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,790
someone has
to tell her
129
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:15,790
that Christmas is another thing,
finer than that...
130
00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:20,800
richer, finer, truer
131
00:08:20,830 --> 00:08:30,310
and it should come with patience
and love, charity, compassion.
132
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:32,810
That's what
I would have told her
133
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,810
if you'd given me the chance.
134
00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:36,310
Well, how
philosophical
135
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:36,910
Mr. Corwin.
136
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,420
Now, perhaps
as your parting word
137
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,420
you can tell us
how we can go about
138
00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:44,420
living up to these
wondrous yule standards
139
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:45,920
which you have
so graciously
140
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,420
laid down for us.
141
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,420
I don't know
142
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:51,630
how to tell you, Mr. Dundee.
143
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:54,130
I don't know at all.
144
00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:55,630
All I know is
145
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:59,140
that I'm an aging,
purposeless relic
146
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:00,640
of another time
147
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:04,140
and I live in a
dirty rooming house
148
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:05,140
on a street
149
00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:07,640
filled with hungry
kids and shabby people
150
00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,150
where the only thing
151
00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,150
that comes
down the chimney
152
00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,150
on Christmas eve
153
00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:13,450
is more poverty.
154
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,950
Will you keep your voice down?
155
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,850
Do you know
another reason
156
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,860
why I drink,
Mr. Dundee?
157
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:23,260
So that when I walk
down the tenements
158
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:26,260
I can really think
it's the north pole
159
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:31,270
and the children are elves
and that I'm really Santa Claus
160
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,770
bringing them
a bag of wondrous gifts
161
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,770
for all of them.
162
00:09:37,770 --> 00:09:41,780
I just wish, Mr. Dundee,
on one Christmas-
163
00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,380
only one...
164
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:48,180
that I could see
some of the hopeless ones...
165
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,190
and the dreamless ones...
166
00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:54,790
just on one Christmas
167
00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:56,790
I'd like to see the meek
168
00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:59,300
inherit the earth.
169
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,000
And that's why I drink,
Mr. Dundee...
170
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,510
and that's why I weep.
171
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,060
George, you want
another drink?
172
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,570
Hey, look.
It's Santa Claus!
173
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,570
Look, there's
Santa Claus.
174
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,570
Come on in.
175
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,070
Nah, nah.
Go on, get lost.
176
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,070
Get out of here.
177
00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:16,570
Merry Christmas.
178
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:17,570
Santa's a lush.
179
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,080
Hey, everybody!
180
00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:05,080
Hey, kids!
181
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,080
Merry Christmas, everybody!
182
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,090
Hey, kids! Everybody!
183
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,090
Merry Christmas!
184
00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:15,090
Merry Christmas, everybody!
185
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,090
Merry Christmas!
186
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,500
"... joy to the world
187
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:31,010
the Lord is come"
188
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:37,510
"let earth receive her king"
189
00:13:38,010 --> 00:13:43,520
"let every heart
prepare him room"
190
00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:47,520
"and heaven and nature sing"
191
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,530
"and heaven and nature sing"
192
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,530
"and heaven..."
193
00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:56,380
What is going on here?
194
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:59,030
What's the idea of coming
in here and disrupting
195
00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:01,280
the Christmas
eve service?
196
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,440
Sister Florence, I
ain't touched a drop
197
00:14:03,470 --> 00:14:05,940
since last Thursday and
that's the gospel truth.
198
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,950
And I swear to you
199
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:12,150
on account of I've seen
it with my own eyes-
200
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:15,150
Santa Claus is coming down
the street heading this way
201
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:17,650
and bringing everybody
his heart's desire.
202
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,660
There's a real,
honest-to-goodness Santa...
203
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:22,660
merry Christmas,
gentlemen.
204
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:24,660
Now, what'll be
your pleasure
205
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,160
for Christmas,
gentlemen?
206
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,840
How about you, Burt?
207
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,670
I fancy a new pipe.
208
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,670
Let's see what
I can do for you.
209
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,670
Here's your
new pipe.
210
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:33,670
How about you?
211
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:34,680
I want a sweater.
212
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:35,560
A sweater-
what size?
213
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:36,580
Who cares
what size?
214
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:39,680
Oh, thank you.
215
00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:41,680
Could I have
a smoking jacket?
216
00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:43,180
A smoking jacket
to go with the pipe.
217
00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:44,680
I'll see
what I can get.
218
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,180
There's your
smoking jacket.
219
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,680
Where did you get
all these gifts?
220
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:49,690
Sister Florence
221
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,890
don't ask me to explain.
222
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,390
I'm just as much in the dark
as anybody else.
223
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:56,390
All I know is I've got
a Santa Claus bag here
224
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:57,390
that gives everybody
225
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,400
exactly what they
want for Christmas
226
00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:01,400
and as long
as it's putting out
227
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:01,900
I'm putting in.
228
00:15:03,430 --> 00:15:05,900
Sister Florence,
how about a new dress?
229
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,910
Give that to
sister Florence
230
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:11,410
when she
comes back.
231
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,220
Thank you.
232
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,220
A bottle of wine.
233
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,230
Merry Christmas, officer,
merry Christmas.
234
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:34,230
What's your name?
235
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:36,230
Henry Corwin...
or is it?
236
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:39,740
Maybe it's Santa Claus or
Kris Kringle- I don't know.
237
00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:42,240
You're drunk, Corwin.
Is that it?
238
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:43,740
Of course
I'm drunk.
239
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:46,240
I'm intoxicated
with the spirit of the yule.
240
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,240
Drunk with the spirit
of the yule.
241
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,750
Intoxicated with the magic and
wonder that is Christmas eve.
242
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:53,750
I'm inebriated
with joy and delight.
243
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:55,250
Yes, officer, I'm drunk.
244
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:56,950
We'll settle this
in a hurry.
245
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,460
Have you got a receipt
for this stuff?
246
00:15:59,490 --> 00:16:00,660
Receipt?
247
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:02,660
Of course you've
got a receipt.
248
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:04,660
No.
249
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:05,660
Sister Florence
250
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:07,660
would you please collect
all the stolen goods
251
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,160
and put them
in a pile over there?
252
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,170
I'll send for them
253
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,170
when I check on
who owns them.
254
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,170
Come on, Santa.
255
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,170
Be right with you,
officer.
256
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:17,170
Don't worry about
a thing, gentlemen.
257
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,680
There's more
where this came from.
258
00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:22,680
Officer, let me tell you
how this whole thing started.
259
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:25,480
I was having a glass
down at Jack's place.
260
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,480
It was just about 4:30 in the
afternoon when I got there.
261
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,490
Like I said,
officer
262
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,990
I arrived at Jack's
place about 4:30-
263
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:34,490
between 4:30 and 5:00,
the cocktail hour.
264
00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:36,990
Jack wasn't there
but Bruce was.
265
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:37,990
I know Bruce, yes.
266
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,500
Right here.
267
00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:40,500
After you.
268
00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:41,500
I had a sandwich
269
00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,000
that I couldn't
finish
270
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:44,500
and I got
to talking...
271
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:51,010
Uh-huh, here he is and
here we are and there that is.
272
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,210
And here
you are.
273
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,210
How nice to see you
again, Mr. Dundee.
274
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:56,510
And how nice it will be
275
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:59,520
to see my wistful saint Nicholas
going up the river.
276
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,020
Do you suppose he can get
as much ten years?
277
00:17:02,050 --> 00:17:03,020
Ten years?
278
00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:04,520
Well, it don't
look good, Corwin.
279
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,420
Of course, they could
lop off a few months
280
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,420
if you was to tell them
where the rest of the loot was.
281
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,930
He's been giving out the stuff
for two and half hours.
282
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,430
He must have
a warehouse full of it.
283
00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,130
I'm glad you
brought that up.
284
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,130
There seems
to be
285
00:17:15,170 --> 00:17:17,130
a slight
discrepancy here.
286
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,630
Listen, you moth-eaten
Robin Hood
287
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:22,140
the wholesale theft of thousands
of dollars worth of goods
288
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:23,640
is not a
slight discrepancy.
289
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:24,640
Though I can tell you
right now, Corwin
290
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,140
this whole affair comes
as no surprise to me.
291
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:31,150
I'd perceived that criminal
glint in your eyes
292
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,650
the first minute
I'd laid eyes on you.
293
00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:36,650
It seems to me
294
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:38,150
that you've
put your finger
295
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,160
on the problem,
Mr. Dundee.
296
00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:41,160
This bag
doesn't know
297
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,660
whether to give out
gifts or garbage.
298
00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:46,060
It was giving out gifts
when I seen it.
299
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,560
Whatever they was wanting
Corwin was supplying.
300
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,070
All kinds of stuff-
toys, gifts, expensive stuff.
301
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,570
Admit it, Corwin.
302
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,070
Oh, I admit it, I admit it.
303
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:56,070
But it seems to me
the essence of our problem is
304
00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:59,070
that we're dealing
with a most unusual bag.
305
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:02,680
My advice to you is to clean up
this mess and get out here.
306
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:06,780
Officer Flaherty, you
call yourself a policeman.
307
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,790
Well, I suppose it
is a demanding task-
308
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:12,790
to distinguish between
a bag full of garbage
309
00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:16,290
and an inventory of
expensive stolen gifts.
310
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:17,790
Mr. Dundee, believe me.
311
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,290
It's like Corwin says:
312
00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:22,800
We're dealing with
the supernatural here.
313
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:23,800
In other words
314
00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:26,300
all we have to do
is to ask Mr. Corwin
315
00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:28,800
to make a little
abracadabra for us
316
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,810
and no sooner
said, done.
317
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,310
Well, go ahead,
Corwin.
318
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:34,810
I fancy a bottle
of cherry brandy
319
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:35,810
vintage 1903.
320
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:39,210
Oh, that's a good year.
321
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:41,720
And as for you,
officer Flaherty
322
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:43,720
how dare you
drag me down here
323
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,720
at the busiest time
of the year
324
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:48,220
to look at a bag
full of garbage?
325
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:49,220
Mr. Dundee...
326
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,230
pardon me,
gentlemen.
327
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,730
Merry Christmas
to both of you!
328
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,740
"To Mr. Dundee,
from Santa."
329
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:06,740
Here, Mr. Dundee.
330
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,740
You need one.
331
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:14,850
Here's beautiful
yellow sweater for you.
332
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:15,850
I want a toy.
333
00:19:15,890 --> 00:19:18,350
I've got a beautiful
toy for you.
334
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:20,360
I want an electric
train engine.
335
00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:21,860
Electric train engine?
Diesel or steam?
336
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:22,860
I don't care.
337
00:19:22,890 --> 00:19:23,660
There it is.
338
00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:24,660
I want
a dolly.
339
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,160
You want a dolly.
340
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,660
A blonde, brunette...
341
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,160
blonde!
342
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,170
Here she is.
343
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,670
I want a
toy, please.
344
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:34,670
Oh, I've got one
here for you.
345
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:36,770
Right there, sweetheart.
346
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:39,270
I've got a
baseball bat for you
347
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:41,280
and a toy dog for you.
348
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:42,780
Thanks.
349
00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:44,280
And a baseball mitt.
350
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:50,790
Merry Christmas to all!
351
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,810
Nothing for you
this Christmas?
352
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,810
I think I've had
the nicest Christmas
353
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,310
since the beginning
of time.
354
00:20:15,350 --> 00:20:16,510
Nothing for you.
355
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:19,010
Nothing for yourself,
not a thing.
356
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:25,020
You know, I... I can't think
of anything I want.
357
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:29,520
I guess what
I've really wanted is...
358
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,530
to be the biggest gift giver
of all times
359
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,530
and in a way
360
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:39,230
I think I had that tonight.
361
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:45,740
Although, if I had my choice
of any gift- any gift at all-
362
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:50,250
I think I'd wish
I could do this every year.
363
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,550
That'd be
some gift
364
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:53,050
wouldn't it,
Burt?
365
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,050
Oh, it sure would.
366
00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:57,050
God bless
you, Burt
367
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,650
and merry Christmas
to you.
368
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,660
Merry Christmas
to you, too, Santa
369
00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:04,160
and thanks for the smoking
jacket and the pipe.
370
00:21:04,190 --> 00:21:05,160
Don't mention it.
371
00:22:04,450 --> 00:22:06,420
We've been waiting
quite a while
372
00:22:06,460 --> 00:22:08,420
for you, Santa Claus.
373
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:12,430
Oh, no.
374
00:22:12,460 --> 00:22:14,430
Did you hear
what I said?
375
00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:17,430
I said we've been
waiting quite a while
376
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:18,930
for you, Santa Claus.
377
00:22:26,980 --> 00:22:29,440
We've got a year of
hard work ahead of us
378
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,950
to get ready
for next Christmas.
379
00:22:31,980 --> 00:22:32,950
Come on.
380
00:22:32,980 --> 00:22:35,450
Are you ready?
381
00:22:35,950 --> 00:22:37,450
Oh, yeah.
382
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,170
Going home,
officer Flaherty?
383
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,670
Going home, Mr.
Dundee, and you?
384
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:55,670
Going home,
officer Flaherty.
385
00:22:55,710 --> 00:22:58,670
This is the most
remarkable Christmas eve
386
00:22:58,710 --> 00:22:59,670
I've ever had.
387
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:13,190
Flaherty...
388
00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:15,690
I could have
sworn that I...
389
00:23:15,730 --> 00:23:16,690
did you see it?
390
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:18,190
I thought I did.
391
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,190
What did you see?
392
00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:21,200
I don't think
I ought to tell you, Mr. Dundee.
393
00:23:21,230 --> 00:23:23,700
You might report me
for drinking on duty.
394
00:23:23,730 --> 00:23:25,700
Go ahead,
what did you see?
395
00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:27,200
It was Corwin,
Mr. Dundee
396
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,700
big as life in a
sleigh with reindeer
397
00:23:29,740 --> 00:23:31,210
sitting next to an elf
398
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:33,210
and riding up
toward the sky.
399
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,210
That's about
the size of it
400
00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:36,710
ain't it,
Mr. Dundee?
401
00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:43,220
Flaherty, you better
come home with me
402
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:46,220
and we'll pour out
some hot coffee
403
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:49,220
and we'll pour
some brandy in it
404
00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:51,230
and we'll...
405
00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:57,230
and we'll thank God
for miracles, Flaherty.
406
00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:03,560
A word to the wise, to all
the children of the 20th century
407
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,200
whether their concern be
pediatrics or geriatrics
408
00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:08,700
whether they crawl on hands
and knees and wear diapers
409
00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,260
or walk with a cane
and comb their beards.
410
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:13,080
There's a wondrous magic
to Christmas
411
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,280
and there's a special power
reserved for little people.
412
00:24:16,460 --> 00:24:21,700
In short, there's
nothing mightier than the meek.
28575
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