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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,068 --> 00:00:04,593 "Hot in Cleveland" is recorded 2 00:00:04,670 --> 00:00:06,969 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:07,039 --> 00:00:09,406 The Cincinnati Bengals are at their own one-yard line, 4 00:00:09,475 --> 00:00:10,408 and barring a miracle, 5 00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:12,468 this game belongs to the Cleveland Browns. 6 00:00:12,544 --> 00:00:14,206 Well, that must make you happy, huh, Elka? 7 00:00:14,279 --> 00:00:15,338 Oh. 8 00:00:15,414 --> 00:00:18,213 She's on the phone with the mayor of Cincinnati. 9 00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:20,445 She bet him that if Cleveland wins, 10 00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:23,148 he has to wear the Browns mascot costume for a week 11 00:00:23,222 --> 00:00:25,316 and dress like a dog. 12 00:00:26,091 --> 00:00:30,324 I hope that costume won't be too "ruff" on you. 13 00:00:32,097 --> 00:00:34,623 And it's Dalton to Jones, and he's down. 14 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,293 No, a lateral to Bernard. 15 00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:37,368 And he's up! 16 00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:38,480 They're not gonna catch him! 17 00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:39,665 What? No! 18 00:00:39,738 --> 00:00:42,037 Touchdown! It's a miracle! 19 00:00:42,107 --> 00:00:44,804 The Bengals win! The Bengals win! 20 00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:47,346 That was amazing. 21 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,373 I mean... boo. 22 00:00:52,551 --> 00:00:54,349 I guess you lost the bet, huh? 23 00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:57,356 I've never been a loser before. 24 00:00:57,423 --> 00:01:00,587 How do you guys do it? 25 00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:10,700 - Hi, baby. - Hey, babe. 26 00:01:10,769 --> 00:01:11,828 - Mm. - Mm. 27 00:01:11,904 --> 00:01:14,499 Oh, weird. 28 00:01:14,573 --> 00:01:16,508 It's like kissing my mom. 29 00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:20,836 You kiss your mom that way? 30 00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:22,857 No, it's just that you're wearing the same perfume 31 00:01:22,881 --> 00:01:24,372 - my mom wears. - Oh, yeah. 32 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:25,660 I was at the mall today, and some girl 33 00:01:25,684 --> 00:01:26,947 asked me if I like Shalimar, 34 00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:29,488 and while I was trying to remember if it was a disco band 35 00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:32,115 or a perfume, she got me. 36 00:01:32,191 --> 00:01:33,352 I'll go wash it off. 37 00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:34,723 Don't use the kitchen sink. 38 00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:36,591 It's leaking. We need to call a plumber. 39 00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:37,755 You don't need a plumber. 40 00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:39,059 You got the guy right here. 41 00:01:39,131 --> 00:01:41,066 Two guys. 42 00:01:42,868 --> 00:01:44,530 I didn't realize you were the handy type. 43 00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:46,128 Are you kidding? 44 00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:47,715 Yeah, when I was a kid, I used to help my dad 45 00:01:47,739 --> 00:01:49,105 fix stuff all the time. 46 00:01:49,174 --> 00:01:50,318 So, you want me to grab you a beer 47 00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:52,140 or just go play in the backyard? 48 00:01:54,046 --> 00:01:55,844 Isn't Bob adorable? 49 00:01:55,914 --> 00:01:57,940 Oh, I'm so in love with him. 50 00:01:58,016 --> 00:02:01,043 I think I'm ready to give him the "Love Actually" test. 51 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,648 Joy, you know the reason every guy fails that test? 52 00:02:04,723 --> 00:02:06,817 It's because guys don't like "Love Actually." 53 00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:08,793 Bob is not like other guys. 54 00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:10,625 I believe he is the one guy 55 00:02:10,696 --> 00:02:13,928 who will love that movie as much as I do. 56 00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:18,297 Doesn't Bob remind you a little bit of Colin Firth? 57 00:02:18,871 --> 00:02:21,397 Yeah, you really are in love. 58 00:02:23,075 --> 00:02:24,703 What a disaster. 59 00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,267 A week before my play opens, 60 00:02:26,345 --> 00:02:29,941 and my costar totally screws me and leaves the show. 61 00:02:30,015 --> 00:02:33,452 - What happened? - Oh, his appendix burst. 62 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,554 Where are we gonna find a masculine Stanley Kowalski type 63 00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:40,320 in his 40s in such little time? 64 00:02:40,392 --> 00:02:43,226 Just letting you know I turned the water off. 65 00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:46,192 And I helped out with the whole righty-tighty, 66 00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:48,700 lefty-loosy business. 67 00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:51,667 Excuse me. Have you ever acted? 68 00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:55,174 I was the star in a Nativity play once. 69 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,903 Literally the star. 70 00:02:57,976 --> 00:03:00,946 Ah, but you weren't talking to me. 71 00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,975 Me? Oh, I haven't acted before. 72 00:03:06,051 --> 00:03:07,610 Oh, but, honey, you could. 73 00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:09,382 You should be in Victoria's play. 74 00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:10,865 I mean, you're between jobs right now, 75 00:03:10,889 --> 00:03:13,358 and this might be just the thing to get you going. 76 00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:15,894 And you look like an actor. I mean, that's half of it. 77 00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:18,021 80%, really. 78 00:03:19,464 --> 00:03:21,194 I'm afraid I would embarrass myself. 79 00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:24,168 Come on. On my radio show, I am always telling people... 80 00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:26,967 Fears about embarrassment almost never come true. 81 00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:29,304 Not in this case. 82 00:03:38,383 --> 00:03:42,252 I know I'm 18 days into a juice fast, but... 83 00:03:43,522 --> 00:03:47,892 is anyone else seeing Elka in a tiger suit? 84 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,758 She has to dress like the mascot 85 00:03:49,828 --> 00:03:51,956 of the Cincinnati Bengals for a whole week 86 00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:53,030 because she lost a bet. 87 00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:55,830 And I'm scheduled to be on "The Grill" this week. 88 00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,699 "The Grill" with Arnie McManus? 89 00:03:57,769 --> 00:03:58,964 I love that show. 90 00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:01,268 He's always taking politicians down. 91 00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:07,945 I'm a politician, you idiot. 92 00:04:09,114 --> 00:04:11,640 You know, normally I'd be upset when someone calls me an idiot, 93 00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:15,449 but in that tiger suit, well, she's just so adorable. 94 00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:20,823 Oh, it's so soft! 95 00:04:20,892 --> 00:04:25,796 Oh. Oh, it's gonna be a long week. 96 00:04:30,035 --> 00:04:32,163 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 97 00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:35,469 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 98 00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:37,099 # Hey! # 99 00:04:37,175 --> 00:04:39,906 I just came to watch. 100 00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:43,842 I ordered room service. 101 00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:45,110 Are you hungry? 102 00:04:45,183 --> 00:04:47,584 Hungry for you. 103 00:04:47,653 --> 00:04:49,645 Kiss me, Marnie. 104 00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:54,254 What the... 105 00:04:55,427 --> 00:04:57,953 Stop it. 106 00:04:58,797 --> 00:05:00,959 Your girlfriend doesn't kiss you like that, does she? 107 00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,002 I wouldn't be here if she did. 108 00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:08,937 Their chemistry is amazing. 109 00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:11,169 Everyone thinks they must be doing it. 110 00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:12,541 Well, they're not, 111 00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:15,479 because that's my boyfriend and my best friend. 112 00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:17,846 Oh. Just like in the play. 113 00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:19,475 Yeah, yeah. 114 00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,713 Just like in the play. 115 00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:23,487 That was great. 116 00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:25,183 Now let's go again, but remember to show 117 00:05:25,257 --> 00:05:27,522 that insatiable hunger you have for each other. 118 00:05:27,592 --> 00:05:30,494 - I want to see more heat. - More?! 119 00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:33,425 Sorry. 120 00:05:33,498 --> 00:05:35,126 Hi, honey. 121 00:05:36,368 --> 00:05:38,735 Oh, my God, Melanie! 122 00:05:38,804 --> 00:05:41,103 Acting is such a rush. 123 00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:43,733 Yeah, yeah, but all that kissing with Victoria... 124 00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:44,936 It almost seemed real. 125 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,535 It was real. 126 00:05:46,611 --> 00:05:48,477 I'm sorry. What? 127 00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:50,175 For my character. 128 00:05:50,248 --> 00:05:53,878 My character really was kissing Victoria. 129 00:05:53,952 --> 00:05:55,716 Wait. Aren't you your character? 130 00:05:55,787 --> 00:05:59,189 Let me explain to you how acting works, Melanie. 131 00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:01,318 My character says he's a painter. 132 00:06:01,393 --> 00:06:04,261 Does that make Dane a painter, too? 133 00:06:04,329 --> 00:06:05,329 No. 134 00:06:07,399 --> 00:06:10,563 Until he walks out there on that stage, 135 00:06:10,635 --> 00:06:14,299 and then, yes, he's a painter. 136 00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:18,538 Got it, but about all that kissing... 137 00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:22,308 Does Dane get sexually excited when he kisses Victoria? No. 138 00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:26,947 But when my character kisses Victoria... 139 00:06:27,018 --> 00:06:28,816 oh, yeah. 140 00:06:30,956 --> 00:06:33,050 Well, that really clears things up. 141 00:06:34,626 --> 00:06:36,652 There she is. 142 00:06:36,728 --> 00:06:40,927 Look at her... Beauty, brains, funny. 143 00:06:40,999 --> 00:06:44,163 You never get all three in the same package. 144 00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:47,331 No, you do not. 145 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,341 Hey, Victoria. 146 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,240 Can I get you a drink? 147 00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:53,335 - I'll have a glass of Merlot. - Okay. 148 00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:58,281 Wow. Melanie, your boyfriend is a natural. 149 00:06:58,350 --> 00:07:01,946 I was freaked out about opening night, but now I can't wait. 150 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:03,682 The critics are gonna love us. 151 00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,917 But, you know, it's a little unsettling 152 00:07:05,991 --> 00:07:08,893 watching someone you're crazy about kissing someone else. 153 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,929 Mel, it's just acting. 154 00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:12,794 Yeah, but you really seemed into it. 155 00:07:12,864 --> 00:07:15,561 No, I'm not, but my character... 156 00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:20,568 Oh, honey, let me explain how acting works. 157 00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:22,437 I know how acting works! 158 00:07:28,814 --> 00:07:30,544 So, that was "Love Actually." 159 00:07:30,615 --> 00:07:32,743 What did you think? 160 00:07:32,818 --> 00:07:35,788 I loved it. Sweet and funny. 161 00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:37,550 - Just like you. - Ah. 162 00:07:37,622 --> 00:07:40,421 Melanie said no guy would like it, but I knew you would. 163 00:07:40,492 --> 00:07:41,687 Oh, of course. 164 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,891 I mean, what a cast... Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson... 165 00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:48,092 Snape from "Harry Potter." 166 00:07:52,838 --> 00:07:56,172 Shall we continue this "Love Actually" discussion upstairs? 167 00:07:56,241 --> 00:07:58,107 Yes, actually. 168 00:08:00,078 --> 00:08:01,944 - Let's get some wine. - All right. 169 00:08:03,949 --> 00:08:06,919 Elka, what are you doing here? Isn't this your bowling night? 170 00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:10,513 I'm not leaving this house until this bet is over. 171 00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:13,320 Now get off my tail. 172 00:08:13,892 --> 00:08:15,451 Okay, I'm sorry. 173 00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,723 No, you're standing on my tail. 174 00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:19,162 Sorry. 175 00:08:19,798 --> 00:08:21,242 Well, you're gonna have to leave the house 176 00:08:21,266 --> 00:08:22,325 to appear on "The Grill." 177 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,801 No, I don't. I postponed. 178 00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,099 Because of the suit? 179 00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:29,699 Plus, I've got a few things I don't want to be asked about. 180 00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:32,005 Like how you're still living here 181 00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:35,639 and renting out the mayor's mansion on Airbnb? 182 00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:40,417 I've got a wedding coming in next week. 183 00:08:40,952 --> 00:08:42,887 Arnie's gonna kill you on "The Grill." 184 00:08:42,954 --> 00:08:44,752 He already has. 185 00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:47,224 They've been running his promo all day. 186 00:08:49,227 --> 00:08:52,994 Mayor Elka Ostrovsky, why are you avoiding me? 187 00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:55,898 Are you too busy making silly bets to hop on "The Grill" 188 00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:57,833 and answer the tough questions? 189 00:08:57,903 --> 00:09:02,341 Or to put it another way, is the tiger chicken? 190 00:09:03,975 --> 00:09:05,910 I agree you shouldn't go on the show, 191 00:09:05,977 --> 00:09:07,377 but isn't hiding out here 192 00:09:07,445 --> 00:09:09,641 worse than taking a little public teasing? 193 00:09:10,982 --> 00:09:13,281 You're right. 194 00:09:13,351 --> 00:09:16,344 I'm gonna go out there and take my medicine. 195 00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:19,084 You're going to the bar, aren't you? 196 00:09:19,624 --> 00:09:21,889 That's where they keep my medicine. 197 00:09:27,132 --> 00:09:29,499 I think Dane's falling in love with Victoria. 198 00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:32,436 Oh, I'm sure he's not. It's just the play. 199 00:09:32,504 --> 00:09:34,530 The play is the problem. 200 00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:38,043 Melanie, if you want my advice, this is a trust issue. 201 00:09:38,109 --> 00:09:40,101 That's where I'm lucky with Bob. 202 00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:44,309 The only thing I ever wanted from him was complete honesty, 203 00:09:44,382 --> 00:09:45,782 and he's given me that. 204 00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,047 How does that address my problem? 205 00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:52,190 I guess it doesn't. 206 00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:56,851 I'm gonna call Bob and tell him how much I love him. 207 00:09:56,928 --> 00:10:00,330 And look. There's a message from him. 208 00:10:00,398 --> 00:10:03,163 See how in sync we are? Amazing. 209 00:10:03,234 --> 00:10:06,363 Actually, Dr. Cutler, it's been a pretty good week for me. 210 00:10:07,172 --> 00:10:10,734 He must have butt-dialed me from his therapist's office. 211 00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:15,076 This is the Holy Grail of snooping on your boyfriend. 212 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,872 Things are going great with Joy, 213 00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:20,384 except she made me sit through this misshapen freak 214 00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:23,354 of a movie called "Love Actually." 215 00:10:23,421 --> 00:10:24,684 He said he loved it. 216 00:10:24,756 --> 00:10:26,452 If I wanted to be tortured for two hours, 217 00:10:26,524 --> 00:10:28,584 I'd take a Pilates class. 218 00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:32,020 Anyway, about my hopes and dre... 219 00:10:32,097 --> 00:10:33,725 Who cares? 220 00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:37,431 Can you believe Bob lied to me? 221 00:10:37,502 --> 00:10:40,233 He's a liar like every other man I've dated. 222 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,568 What are you gonna do? 223 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,836 I'm gonna torture him with Pilates 224 00:10:43,908 --> 00:10:45,843 until he confesses he's a liar. 225 00:10:47,712 --> 00:10:49,408 Bob's still trainable. 226 00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,848 I'm gonna break him like a puppy. 227 00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:54,784 Oh, Dane is like a puppy with this acting thing. 228 00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:56,947 He just wants to put his mouth on everything... 229 00:10:57,022 --> 00:10:59,321 especially Victoria. 230 00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:02,487 If only there was some puppy repellant we could spray on her. 231 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,290 There is. 232 00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:06,593 Dane's mother's perfume, Shalimar. 233 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:07,928 He'll still have to kiss her, 234 00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:09,763 but he'll hate every second of it. 235 00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:12,633 All I have to do is spray it on Victoria's costume. 236 00:11:12,704 --> 00:11:14,696 That's a brilliant idea. 237 00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:16,366 You know, most girlfriends 238 00:11:16,441 --> 00:11:19,775 wouldn't care enough to go as far as we do. 239 00:11:20,612 --> 00:11:22,945 They're lucky to have us. 240 00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:27,208 Oh, my goodness. 241 00:11:27,285 --> 00:11:30,551 Why is there a helicopter landing on our front lawn? 242 00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:34,692 Thanks, LeBron. 243 00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,627 This suit is magic. 244 00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:44,397 LeBron James just dropped you off in his helicopter. 245 00:11:44,469 --> 00:11:47,303 Well, first, we stopped in Atlantic City. 246 00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:50,171 - I won big. - What? 247 00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:53,734 I was counting cards out loud. 248 00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:55,678 They didn't care. 249 00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:58,239 So I guess you're not hiding anymore? 250 00:11:58,316 --> 00:12:02,048 I'm bulletproof, which is why I'm going on "The Grill." 251 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,386 Elka, Arnie McManus will eat you alive. 252 00:12:05,457 --> 00:12:07,221 I got this. 253 00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:09,761 I also got this. 254 00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:12,764 Is that LeBron James' championship ring? 255 00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:15,300 Not anymore. 256 00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:22,570 I'm so glad you like Pilates. 257 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,869 Oh, are you kidding? 258 00:12:23,941 --> 00:12:25,910 I love it. Ah! 259 00:12:25,976 --> 00:12:29,845 It's fantastic the way it's stretching my groin. 260 00:12:30,381 --> 00:12:33,579 Yeah, I can't believe there was a time I didn't do it. 261 00:12:33,651 --> 00:12:36,917 Oh, just thinking about that time now. 262 00:12:38,155 --> 00:12:40,215 So you're really enjoying it? 263 00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,817 Yeah, it's so much fun. 264 00:12:44,728 --> 00:12:46,424 - Liar. - What? 265 00:12:46,497 --> 00:12:47,931 You lied to me about Pilates, 266 00:12:47,998 --> 00:12:50,433 the same way you lied to me about "Love Actually." 267 00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:51,799 How do you know that? 268 00:12:51,869 --> 00:12:54,930 I mean... why would you say that? 269 00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:59,101 Because you butt-dialed me from your therapy session. 270 00:12:59,677 --> 00:13:01,908 And you listened? 271 00:13:03,113 --> 00:13:04,877 Don't change the subject. 272 00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:06,383 You violated my trust. 273 00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:10,512 Well what about my trust, huh? 274 00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:11,868 Listening in on a therapy session 275 00:13:11,922 --> 00:13:14,551 is way worse than pretending to like some stupid movie. 276 00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,094 - Stupid movie? - Yes, stupid movie. 277 00:13:17,161 --> 00:13:19,721 Some creepy stalker holding up a bunch of dumb cue cards 278 00:13:19,797 --> 00:13:20,797 for the woman he loves? 279 00:13:20,864 --> 00:13:22,127 What's romantic about that? 280 00:13:22,199 --> 00:13:23,724 How about everything? 281 00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:25,599 That's only my favorite scene. 282 00:13:25,669 --> 00:13:27,297 The point is, you lied, 283 00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:29,670 and if you lied about this, what else have you lied about? 284 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:32,676 No, the point is you eavesdropped, and I'm furious. 285 00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:34,712 I'm gonna need you to storm out right now. 286 00:13:34,778 --> 00:13:36,337 Me? Why should I storm out? 287 00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:37,437 Why don't you storm out? 288 00:13:37,514 --> 00:13:39,176 Because I also lied about how good it felt 289 00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:40,740 - to stretch my groin. - Oh! 290 00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:50,325 Well, I did it. 291 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,693 Not only did I spray Victoria's costume with Shalimar, 292 00:13:52,763 --> 00:13:54,322 but I doused Dane's in Old Spice, 293 00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:56,264 which is the cologne that Victoria's dad wears. 294 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,859 It's gonna be like they're kissing their parents. 295 00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:02,230 - Where's Bob? - I don't think he's coming. 296 00:14:02,306 --> 00:14:03,774 I found the love of my life, 297 00:14:03,841 --> 00:14:06,242 and I pushed him away with my stupid scheme... 298 00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:07,854 just like you're about to push Dane away 299 00:14:07,878 --> 00:14:09,346 with your moronic idea. 300 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,676 What? 301 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,155 I ordered room service. 302 00:14:18,222 --> 00:14:19,520 Are you hungry? 303 00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:21,991 Hungry for you. 304 00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,455 Kiss me, Mommy. 305 00:14:28,532 --> 00:14:31,468 I mean Marnie, not Mommy. 306 00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:33,963 Uh-oh. 307 00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,974 I can smell them from here. 308 00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:39,374 Don't stop. 309 00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,639 I'll never stop. 310 00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:52,679 Tonight, I ask Mayor Ostrovsky the tough questions. 311 00:14:52,756 --> 00:14:55,726 Why is she funneling city money to the zoo? 312 00:14:55,793 --> 00:14:59,787 Why does she conduct city council meetings in a bar? 313 00:14:59,863 --> 00:15:04,665 And why is her chief of staff a Pomeranian named George Clooney? 314 00:15:05,369 --> 00:15:08,533 We'll find out when I put the mayor on "The Grill." 315 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:14,587 Your Honor, you know how it works on "The Grill." 316 00:15:14,611 --> 00:15:18,139 First question... How do you respond to the rumors 317 00:15:18,215 --> 00:15:20,013 that you have to be a single handsome man 318 00:15:20,084 --> 00:15:21,313 to work in your office? 319 00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:22,409 So? 320 00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:26,150 Your assistant is barely legal and has big boobs. 321 00:15:26,223 --> 00:15:27,384 That's my daughter. 322 00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:30,587 Lovely girl. 323 00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:32,152 Next question. 324 00:15:32,229 --> 00:15:35,722 Is it about how cute I look in a tiger suit? 325 00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:37,199 No, it is not. 326 00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:38,735 I despise cute things. 327 00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:40,964 Ruh-roh. 328 00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:42,901 Life isn't cute, Your Honor, 329 00:15:42,973 --> 00:15:45,067 and I don't like my emotions manipulated. 330 00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:47,338 This show is not about appearances. 331 00:15:47,411 --> 00:15:50,677 It is about the dark, ugly reality underneath. 332 00:15:51,548 --> 00:15:54,108 - Who hurt you? - What? 333 00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:55,709 What? Nobody hurt me. 334 00:15:55,786 --> 00:15:57,049 What are you talking about? 335 00:15:57,121 --> 00:15:59,886 Was it your mom or your dad? 336 00:15:59,957 --> 00:16:03,257 Which one named you Arnold? 337 00:16:03,327 --> 00:16:05,387 You don't grill me. I grill you. 338 00:16:05,462 --> 00:16:07,328 It was your dad, right? 339 00:16:07,397 --> 00:16:10,196 Wrong. I didn't have a dad. 340 00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:12,998 I mean, there were a series of men that I had to call "Dad," 341 00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:15,630 but back to you, Your Honor. 342 00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:17,937 Wow. That must have been hard. 343 00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:19,670 It wasn't easy. 344 00:16:19,743 --> 00:16:22,440 I mean, one guy was only six years older than me. 345 00:16:22,513 --> 00:16:26,006 My mom lost her job as a teacher because of him. 346 00:16:26,617 --> 00:16:31,248 And why did my best friend pay for my daughter's boob job? 347 00:16:32,055 --> 00:16:34,854 Those are all good questions, Arnie, 348 00:16:34,925 --> 00:16:37,895 but it looks like we're running out of time. 349 00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:39,589 Oh, yeah, we are. 350 00:16:39,663 --> 00:16:43,725 Uh, I'll see you tomorrow on "The Grill." 351 00:16:47,538 --> 00:16:50,337 - Tiger hug? - Yes. 352 00:16:52,709 --> 00:16:55,372 Oh. So soft. 353 00:16:55,445 --> 00:16:56,879 So soft. 354 00:16:56,947 --> 00:16:59,815 Why were you wearing my mother's perfume? 355 00:16:59,883 --> 00:17:01,784 You ruined my kiss acting. 356 00:17:01,852 --> 00:17:03,582 Well, you wore Old Spice. 357 00:17:03,654 --> 00:17:06,146 It was like doing a love scene with my father. 358 00:17:06,223 --> 00:17:08,692 I never put on Old Spice. 359 00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:11,126 Well, I never wore Shalimar... 360 00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:15,831 Sabotage. 361 00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:18,664 Lucci! 362 00:17:20,971 --> 00:17:23,167 No, it was me. 363 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,675 Melanie! 364 00:17:27,211 --> 00:17:32,275 I'm so sorry, but the rest of your performance was grrrreat! 365 00:17:34,051 --> 00:17:35,849 Aww. 366 00:17:35,919 --> 00:17:38,479 She's doing what a tiger does. 367 00:17:39,790 --> 00:17:42,157 See? I have the suit on, so you can't be mad at me, right? 368 00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:44,957 Oh, yes, we can. 369 00:17:45,028 --> 00:17:47,361 That whole play was based on sexual chemistry, 370 00:17:47,431 --> 00:17:49,127 and you ruined it. 371 00:17:52,135 --> 00:17:54,695 Oh, no. The reviews are in. 372 00:17:54,771 --> 00:17:55,795 Hang on. 373 00:17:55,873 --> 00:17:58,968 The Plain Dealer says, "Open a window 374 00:17:59,042 --> 00:18:00,670 'cause these two are hot." 375 00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:01,973 Wait, wait, wait, wait, 376 00:18:02,045 --> 00:18:05,675 "Victoria Chase and Dane Stevens are a revelation. 377 00:18:05,749 --> 00:18:08,719 Their decision not to kiss was genius." 378 00:18:08,785 --> 00:18:10,686 - We did it! - Well, Of course we did. 379 00:18:10,754 --> 00:18:12,382 We're geniuses. 380 00:18:12,456 --> 00:18:15,551 You're the genius, Victoria. 381 00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:18,425 I've never met a more amazing person in my life. 382 00:18:18,495 --> 00:18:20,930 Aww. 383 00:18:20,998 --> 00:18:23,991 So glad I put the suit on. 384 00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:27,301 Joy, we're a hit. 385 00:18:27,371 --> 00:18:28,737 Congratulations. 386 00:18:28,805 --> 00:18:29,898 Joy, where you going? 387 00:18:29,973 --> 00:18:32,499 Over to Bob's house to beg forgiveness. 388 00:18:32,576 --> 00:18:36,638 I treated him like my other boyfriends, and he's not. 389 00:18:36,713 --> 00:18:38,807 He was only lying about a movie. 390 00:18:38,882 --> 00:18:42,341 Wasn't cheating on me or secretly living in my car 391 00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:44,547 for a month like other guys have. 392 00:18:45,989 --> 00:18:47,821 Wish me luck. 393 00:18:51,561 --> 00:18:53,621 - Bob. - Mm. 394 00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:00,650 LET ME SAY 395 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,700 WITHOUT HOPE OR AGENDA 396 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,500 I HATED LOVE ACTUALLY 397 00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:10,736 REALLY HATED IT! 398 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,900 I WILL HATE IT TILL I LOOK LIKE THIS... 399 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,400 BUT I'D RATHER BE WITH YOU 400 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,800 DOING THINGS I HATE 401 00:19:27,236 --> 00:19:29,736 THAN BE WITH ANYONE ELSE 402 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,700 DOING THINGS I LOVE 403 00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:35,837 Oh, Bob. 404 00:19:49,052 --> 00:19:51,283 And it turns out there was a Broadway producer 405 00:19:51,354 --> 00:19:53,755 in the audience who saw me, and he offered me a play. 406 00:19:53,823 --> 00:19:55,485 Wow. That's great. 407 00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:57,117 So you're going to New York. 408 00:19:57,193 --> 00:19:59,685 Yeah, and I've got to get in really good shape 409 00:19:59,762 --> 00:20:01,924 because I'm doing a nude scene with, um... 410 00:20:01,998 --> 00:20:03,091 What's her name? Angela... 411 00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:04,259 Lansbury? 412 00:20:06,369 --> 00:20:08,167 No, that wasn't it, 413 00:20:08,238 --> 00:20:10,605 but I've got to be to New York by tomorrow morning, 414 00:20:10,673 --> 00:20:11,766 so I'd better go pack. 415 00:20:11,841 --> 00:20:14,242 Well, if you're gonna be nude, you don't have to pack much. 416 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,006 Hm. 417 00:20:16,079 --> 00:20:19,675 Once again, Melanie, you're forgetting how acting works. 418 00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,149 Well, good luck. 419 00:20:21,217 --> 00:20:22,981 I'm really happy for you. 420 00:20:23,052 --> 00:20:25,252 - I'll text you when I get there. - That sounds perfect. 421 00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:26,347 Hey. 422 00:20:26,422 --> 00:20:28,891 How much longer are you gonna need that suit? 423 00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:29,789 Why? 424 00:20:29,859 --> 00:20:32,522 Somebody egged the mayor of Cincinnati. 425 00:20:32,595 --> 00:20:34,621 I need it for the lineup. 426 00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:38,227 # Hey! # 427 00:20:42,138 --> 00:20:44,471 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 428 00:20:44,541 --> 00:20:47,033 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 429 00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:51,673 # Ah, ah, ah # 430 00:20:51,748 --> 00:20:54,081 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 431 00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,449 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 432 00:20:56,519 --> 00:21:01,048 # Ah, ah, ah # 433 00:21:04,394 --> 00:21:05,987 # Hey! # 30957

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