Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,068 --> 00:00:04,593
"Hot in Cleveland" is recorded
2
00:00:04,670 --> 00:00:06,969
in front
of a live studio audience.
3
00:00:07,039 --> 00:00:09,406
The Cincinnati Bengals
are at their own one-yard line,
4
00:00:09,475 --> 00:00:10,408
and barring a miracle,
5
00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:12,468
this game belongs
to the Cleveland Browns.
6
00:00:12,544 --> 00:00:14,206
Well, that must make you happy,
huh, Elka?
7
00:00:14,279 --> 00:00:15,338
Oh.
8
00:00:15,414 --> 00:00:18,213
She's on the phone
with the mayor of Cincinnati.
9
00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:20,445
She bet him
that if Cleveland wins,
10
00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:23,148
he has to wear the Browns
mascot costume for a week
11
00:00:23,222 --> 00:00:25,316
and dress like a dog.
12
00:00:26,091 --> 00:00:30,324
I hope that costume
won't be too "ruff" on you.
13
00:00:32,097 --> 00:00:34,623
And it's Dalton to Jones,
and he's down.
14
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,293
No, a lateral to Bernard.
15
00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:37,368
And he's up!
16
00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:38,480
They're not gonna catch him!
17
00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:39,665
What? No!
18
00:00:39,738 --> 00:00:42,037
Touchdown!
It's a miracle!
19
00:00:42,107 --> 00:00:44,804
The Bengals win!
The Bengals win!
20
00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:47,346
That was amazing.
21
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,373
I mean... boo.
22
00:00:52,551 --> 00:00:54,349
I guess you lost the bet, huh?
23
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:57,356
I've never been a loser before.
24
00:00:57,423 --> 00:01:00,587
How do you guys do it?
25
00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:10,700
- Hi, baby.
- Hey, babe.
26
00:01:10,769 --> 00:01:11,828
- Mm.
- Mm.
27
00:01:11,904 --> 00:01:14,499
Oh, weird.
28
00:01:14,573 --> 00:01:16,508
It's like kissing my mom.
29
00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:20,836
You kiss your mom that way?
30
00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:22,857
No, it's just that you're
wearing the same perfume
31
00:01:22,881 --> 00:01:24,372
- my mom wears.
- Oh, yeah.
32
00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:25,660
I was at the mall today,
and some girl
33
00:01:25,684 --> 00:01:26,947
asked me if I like Shalimar,
34
00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:29,488
and while I was trying to
remember if it was a disco band
35
00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:32,115
or a perfume, she got me.
36
00:01:32,191 --> 00:01:33,352
I'll go wash it off.
37
00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:34,723
Don't use the kitchen sink.
38
00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:36,591
It's leaking.
We need to call a plumber.
39
00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:37,755
You don't need a plumber.
40
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:39,059
You got the guy right here.
41
00:01:39,131 --> 00:01:41,066
Two guys.
42
00:01:42,868 --> 00:01:44,530
I didn't realize
you were the handy type.
43
00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:46,128
Are you kidding?
44
00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:47,715
Yeah, when I was a kid,
I used to help my dad
45
00:01:47,739 --> 00:01:49,105
fix stuff all the time.
46
00:01:49,174 --> 00:01:50,318
So, you want me
to grab you a beer
47
00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:52,140
or just go play in the backyard?
48
00:01:54,046 --> 00:01:55,844
Isn't Bob adorable?
49
00:01:55,914 --> 00:01:57,940
Oh, I'm so in love with him.
50
00:01:58,016 --> 00:02:01,043
I think I'm ready to give him
the "Love Actually" test.
51
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,648
Joy, you know the reason
every guy fails that test?
52
00:02:04,723 --> 00:02:06,817
It's because guys
don't like "Love Actually."
53
00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:08,793
Bob is not like other guys.
54
00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:10,625
I believe he is the one guy
55
00:02:10,696 --> 00:02:13,928
who will love that movie
as much as I do.
56
00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:18,297
Doesn't Bob remind you
a little bit of Colin Firth?
57
00:02:18,871 --> 00:02:21,397
Yeah, you really are in love.
58
00:02:23,075 --> 00:02:24,703
What a disaster.
59
00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,267
A week before my play opens,
60
00:02:26,345 --> 00:02:29,941
and my costar totally screws me
and leaves the show.
61
00:02:30,015 --> 00:02:33,452
- What happened?
- Oh, his appendix burst.
62
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,554
Where are we gonna find a
masculine Stanley Kowalski type
63
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:40,320
in his 40s in such little time?
64
00:02:40,392 --> 00:02:43,226
Just letting you know
I turned the water off.
65
00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:46,192
And I helped out
with the whole righty-tighty,
66
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:48,700
lefty-loosy business.
67
00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:51,667
Excuse me.
Have you ever acted?
68
00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:55,174
I was the star
in a Nativity play once.
69
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,903
Literally the star.
70
00:02:57,976 --> 00:03:00,946
Ah, but you weren't talking
to me.
71
00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,975
Me?
Oh, I haven't acted before.
72
00:03:06,051 --> 00:03:07,610
Oh, but, honey, you could.
73
00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:09,382
You should be
in Victoria's play.
74
00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:10,865
I mean,
you're between jobs right now,
75
00:03:10,889 --> 00:03:13,358
and this might be just the thing
to get you going.
76
00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:15,894
And you look like an actor.
I mean, that's half of it.
77
00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:18,021
80%, really.
78
00:03:19,464 --> 00:03:21,194
I'm afraid
I would embarrass myself.
79
00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:24,168
Come on. On my radio show,
I am always telling people...
80
00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:26,967
Fears about embarrassment
almost never come true.
81
00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:29,304
Not in this case.
82
00:03:38,383 --> 00:03:42,252
I know I'm 18 days
into a juice fast, but...
83
00:03:43,522 --> 00:03:47,892
is anyone else
seeing Elka in a tiger suit?
84
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,758
She has to dress like the mascot
85
00:03:49,828 --> 00:03:51,956
of the Cincinnati Bengals
for a whole week
86
00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:53,030
because she lost a bet.
87
00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:55,830
And I'm scheduled
to be on "The Grill" this week.
88
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,699
"The Grill" with Arnie McManus?
89
00:03:57,769 --> 00:03:58,964
I love that show.
90
00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:01,268
He's always taking
politicians down.
91
00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:07,945
I'm a politician, you idiot.
92
00:04:09,114 --> 00:04:11,640
You know, normally I'd be upset
when someone calls me an idiot,
93
00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:15,449
but in that tiger suit,
well, she's just so adorable.
94
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:20,823
Oh, it's so soft!
95
00:04:20,892 --> 00:04:25,796
Oh.
Oh, it's gonna be a long week.
96
00:04:30,035 --> 00:04:32,163
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
97
00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:35,469
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
98
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:37,099
# Hey! #
99
00:04:37,175 --> 00:04:39,906
I just came to watch.
100
00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:43,842
I ordered room service.
101
00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:45,110
Are you hungry?
102
00:04:45,183 --> 00:04:47,584
Hungry for you.
103
00:04:47,653 --> 00:04:49,645
Kiss me, Marnie.
104
00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:54,254
What the...
105
00:04:55,427 --> 00:04:57,953
Stop it.
106
00:04:58,797 --> 00:05:00,959
Your girlfriend doesn't
kiss you like that, does she?
107
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,002
I wouldn't be here if she did.
108
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:08,937
Their chemistry is amazing.
109
00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:11,169
Everyone thinks
they must be doing it.
110
00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:12,541
Well, they're not,
111
00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:15,479
because that's my boyfriend
and my best friend.
112
00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:17,846
Oh.
Just like in the play.
113
00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:19,475
Yeah, yeah.
114
00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,713
Just like in the play.
115
00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:23,487
That was great.
116
00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:25,183
Now let's go again,
but remember to show
117
00:05:25,257 --> 00:05:27,522
that insatiable hunger
you have for each other.
118
00:05:27,592 --> 00:05:30,494
- I want to see more heat.
- More?!
119
00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:33,425
Sorry.
120
00:05:33,498 --> 00:05:35,126
Hi, honey.
121
00:05:36,368 --> 00:05:38,735
Oh, my God, Melanie!
122
00:05:38,804 --> 00:05:41,103
Acting is such a rush.
123
00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:43,733
Yeah, yeah, but all that
kissing with Victoria...
124
00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:44,936
It almost seemed real.
125
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,535
It was real.
126
00:05:46,611 --> 00:05:48,477
I'm sorry.
What?
127
00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:50,175
For my character.
128
00:05:50,248 --> 00:05:53,878
My character
really was kissing Victoria.
129
00:05:53,952 --> 00:05:55,716
Wait.
Aren't you your character?
130
00:05:55,787 --> 00:05:59,189
Let me explain to you
how acting works, Melanie.
131
00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:01,318
My character
says he's a painter.
132
00:06:01,393 --> 00:06:04,261
Does that make Dane
a painter, too?
133
00:06:04,329 --> 00:06:05,329
No.
134
00:06:07,399 --> 00:06:10,563
Until he walks out there
on that stage,
135
00:06:10,635 --> 00:06:14,299
and then, yes, he's a painter.
136
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:18,538
Got it,
but about all that kissing...
137
00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:22,308
Does Dane get sexually excited
when he kisses Victoria? No.
138
00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:26,947
But when my character
kisses Victoria...
139
00:06:27,018 --> 00:06:28,816
oh, yeah.
140
00:06:30,956 --> 00:06:33,050
Well, that really
clears things up.
141
00:06:34,626 --> 00:06:36,652
There she is.
142
00:06:36,728 --> 00:06:40,927
Look at her...
Beauty, brains, funny.
143
00:06:40,999 --> 00:06:44,163
You never get all three
in the same package.
144
00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:47,331
No, you do not.
145
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,341
Hey, Victoria.
146
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,240
Can I get you a drink?
147
00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:53,335
- I'll have a glass of Merlot.
- Okay.
148
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:58,281
Wow. Melanie,
your boyfriend is a natural.
149
00:06:58,350 --> 00:07:01,946
I was freaked out about opening
night, but now I can't wait.
150
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:03,682
The critics are gonna love us.
151
00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,917
But, you know,
it's a little unsettling
152
00:07:05,991 --> 00:07:08,893
watching someone you're crazy
about kissing someone else.
153
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,929
Mel, it's just acting.
154
00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:12,794
Yeah, but you really seemed
into it.
155
00:07:12,864 --> 00:07:15,561
No, I'm not, but my character...
156
00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:20,568
Oh, honey,
let me explain how acting works.
157
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:22,437
I know how acting works!
158
00:07:28,814 --> 00:07:30,544
So, that was "Love Actually."
159
00:07:30,615 --> 00:07:32,743
What did you think?
160
00:07:32,818 --> 00:07:35,788
I loved it.
Sweet and funny.
161
00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:37,550
- Just like you.
- Ah.
162
00:07:37,622 --> 00:07:40,421
Melanie said no guy would like
it, but I knew you would.
163
00:07:40,492 --> 00:07:41,687
Oh, of course.
164
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,891
I mean, what a cast...
Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson...
165
00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:48,092
Snape from "Harry Potter."
166
00:07:52,838 --> 00:07:56,172
Shall we continue this "Love
Actually" discussion upstairs?
167
00:07:56,241 --> 00:07:58,107
Yes, actually.
168
00:08:00,078 --> 00:08:01,944
- Let's get some wine.
- All right.
169
00:08:03,949 --> 00:08:06,919
Elka, what are you doing here?
Isn't this your bowling night?
170
00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:10,513
I'm not leaving this house
until this bet is over.
171
00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:13,320
Now get off my tail.
172
00:08:13,892 --> 00:08:15,451
Okay, I'm sorry.
173
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,723
No, you're standing on my tail.
174
00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:19,162
Sorry.
175
00:08:19,798 --> 00:08:21,242
Well, you're gonna have
to leave the house
176
00:08:21,266 --> 00:08:22,325
to appear on "The Grill."
177
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,801
No, I don't.
I postponed.
178
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,099
Because of the suit?
179
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:29,699
Plus, I've got a few things
I don't want to be asked about.
180
00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:32,005
Like how you're
still living here
181
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:35,639
and renting out
the mayor's mansion on Airbnb?
182
00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:40,417
I've got a wedding
coming in next week.
183
00:08:40,952 --> 00:08:42,887
Arnie's gonna kill you
on "The Grill."
184
00:08:42,954 --> 00:08:44,752
He already has.
185
00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:47,224
They've been
running his promo all day.
186
00:08:49,227 --> 00:08:52,994
Mayor Elka Ostrovsky,
why are you avoiding me?
187
00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:55,898
Are you too busy making silly
bets to hop on "The Grill"
188
00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:57,833
and answer the tough questions?
189
00:08:57,903 --> 00:09:02,341
Or to put it another way,
is the tiger chicken?
190
00:09:03,975 --> 00:09:05,910
I agree
you shouldn't go on the show,
191
00:09:05,977 --> 00:09:07,377
but isn't hiding out here
192
00:09:07,445 --> 00:09:09,641
worse than taking
a little public teasing?
193
00:09:10,982 --> 00:09:13,281
You're right.
194
00:09:13,351 --> 00:09:16,344
I'm gonna go out there
and take my medicine.
195
00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:19,084
You're going to the bar,
aren't you?
196
00:09:19,624 --> 00:09:21,889
That's where they keep
my medicine.
197
00:09:27,132 --> 00:09:29,499
I think Dane's falling in love
with Victoria.
198
00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:32,436
Oh, I'm sure he's not.
It's just the play.
199
00:09:32,504 --> 00:09:34,530
The play is the problem.
200
00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:38,043
Melanie, if you want my advice,
this is a trust issue.
201
00:09:38,109 --> 00:09:40,101
That's where I'm lucky with Bob.
202
00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:44,309
The only thing I ever wanted
from him was complete honesty,
203
00:09:44,382 --> 00:09:45,782
and he's given me that.
204
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,047
How does that address
my problem?
205
00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:52,190
I guess it doesn't.
206
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:56,851
I'm gonna call Bob and tell him
how much I love him.
207
00:09:56,928 --> 00:10:00,330
And look.
There's a message from him.
208
00:10:00,398 --> 00:10:03,163
See how in sync we are?
Amazing.
209
00:10:03,234 --> 00:10:06,363
Actually, Dr. Cutler, it's
been a pretty good week for me.
210
00:10:07,172 --> 00:10:10,734
He must have butt-dialed me
from his therapist's office.
211
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:15,076
This is the Holy Grail
of snooping on your boyfriend.
212
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,872
Things are going great with Joy,
213
00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:20,384
except she made me sit
through this misshapen freak
214
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:23,354
of a movie
called "Love Actually."
215
00:10:23,421 --> 00:10:24,684
He said he loved it.
216
00:10:24,756 --> 00:10:26,452
If I wanted to be tortured
for two hours,
217
00:10:26,524 --> 00:10:28,584
I'd take a Pilates class.
218
00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:32,020
Anyway, about my hopes and dre...
219
00:10:32,097 --> 00:10:33,725
Who cares?
220
00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:37,431
Can you believe Bob lied to me?
221
00:10:37,502 --> 00:10:40,233
He's a liar
like every other man I've dated.
222
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,568
What are you gonna do?
223
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,836
I'm gonna torture him
with Pilates
224
00:10:43,908 --> 00:10:45,843
until he confesses he's a liar.
225
00:10:47,712 --> 00:10:49,408
Bob's still trainable.
226
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,848
I'm gonna break him
like a puppy.
227
00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:54,784
Oh, Dane is like a puppy
with this acting thing.
228
00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:56,947
He just wants to put his mouth
on everything...
229
00:10:57,022 --> 00:10:59,321
especially Victoria.
230
00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:02,487
If only there was some puppy
repellant we could spray on her.
231
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,290
There is.
232
00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:06,593
Dane's mother's perfume,
Shalimar.
233
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:07,928
He'll still have to kiss her,
234
00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:09,763
but he'll hate
every second of it.
235
00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:12,633
All I have to do is spray it
on Victoria's costume.
236
00:11:12,704 --> 00:11:14,696
That's a brilliant idea.
237
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:16,366
You know, most girlfriends
238
00:11:16,441 --> 00:11:19,775
wouldn't care enough
to go as far as we do.
239
00:11:20,612 --> 00:11:22,945
They're lucky to have us.
240
00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:27,208
Oh, my goodness.
241
00:11:27,285 --> 00:11:30,551
Why is there a helicopter
landing on our front lawn?
242
00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:34,692
Thanks, LeBron.
243
00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,627
This suit is magic.
244
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:44,397
LeBron James just dropped you
off in his helicopter.
245
00:11:44,469 --> 00:11:47,303
Well, first,
we stopped in Atlantic City.
246
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:50,171
- I won big.
- What?
247
00:11:50,241 --> 00:11:53,734
I was counting cards out loud.
248
00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:55,678
They didn't care.
249
00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:58,239
So I guess
you're not hiding anymore?
250
00:11:58,316 --> 00:12:02,048
I'm bulletproof, which is
why I'm going on "The Grill."
251
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,386
Elka, Arnie McManus
will eat you alive.
252
00:12:05,457 --> 00:12:07,221
I got this.
253
00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:09,761
I also got this.
254
00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:12,764
Is that LeBron James'
championship ring?
255
00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:15,300
Not anymore.
256
00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:22,570
I'm so glad you like Pilates.
257
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,869
Oh, are you kidding?
258
00:12:23,941 --> 00:12:25,910
I love it.
Ah!
259
00:12:25,976 --> 00:12:29,845
It's fantastic the way
it's stretching my groin.
260
00:12:30,381 --> 00:12:33,579
Yeah, I can't believe
there was a time I didn't do it.
261
00:12:33,651 --> 00:12:36,917
Oh, just thinking
about that time now.
262
00:12:38,155 --> 00:12:40,215
So you're really enjoying it?
263
00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,817
Yeah, it's so much fun.
264
00:12:44,728 --> 00:12:46,424
- Liar.
- What?
265
00:12:46,497 --> 00:12:47,931
You lied to me about Pilates,
266
00:12:47,998 --> 00:12:50,433
the same way you lied
to me about "Love Actually."
267
00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:51,799
How do you know that?
268
00:12:51,869 --> 00:12:54,930
I mean... why would you say that?
269
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:59,101
Because you butt-dialed me
from your therapy session.
270
00:12:59,677 --> 00:13:01,908
And you listened?
271
00:13:03,113 --> 00:13:04,877
Don't change the subject.
272
00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:06,383
You violated my trust.
273
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:10,512
Well what about my trust, huh?
274
00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:11,868
Listening in
on a therapy session
275
00:13:11,922 --> 00:13:14,551
is way worse than pretending
to like some stupid movie.
276
00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,094
- Stupid movie?
- Yes, stupid movie.
277
00:13:17,161 --> 00:13:19,721
Some creepy stalker holding up
a bunch of dumb cue cards
278
00:13:19,797 --> 00:13:20,797
for the woman he loves?
279
00:13:20,864 --> 00:13:22,127
What's romantic about that?
280
00:13:22,199 --> 00:13:23,724
How about everything?
281
00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:25,599
That's only my favorite scene.
282
00:13:25,669 --> 00:13:27,297
The point is, you lied,
283
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:29,670
and if you lied about this,
what else have you lied about?
284
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:32,676
No, the point is you
eavesdropped, and I'm furious.
285
00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:34,712
I'm gonna need you
to storm out right now.
286
00:13:34,778 --> 00:13:36,337
Me?
Why should I storm out?
287
00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:37,437
Why don't you storm out?
288
00:13:37,514 --> 00:13:39,176
Because I also lied
about how good it felt
289
00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:40,740
- to stretch my groin.
- Oh!
290
00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:50,325
Well, I did it.
291
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,693
Not only did I spray Victoria's
costume with Shalimar,
292
00:13:52,763 --> 00:13:54,322
but I doused Dane's
in Old Spice,
293
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:56,264
which is the cologne
that Victoria's dad wears.
294
00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,859
It's gonna be like
they're kissing their parents.
295
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:02,230
- Where's Bob?
- I don't think he's coming.
296
00:14:02,306 --> 00:14:03,774
I found the love of my life,
297
00:14:03,841 --> 00:14:06,242
and I pushed him away
with my stupid scheme...
298
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:07,854
just like
you're about to push Dane away
299
00:14:07,878 --> 00:14:09,346
with your moronic idea.
300
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,676
What?
301
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,155
I ordered room service.
302
00:14:18,222 --> 00:14:19,520
Are you hungry?
303
00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:21,991
Hungry for you.
304
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,455
Kiss me, Mommy.
305
00:14:28,532 --> 00:14:31,468
I mean Marnie, not Mommy.
306
00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:33,963
Uh-oh.
307
00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,974
I can smell them from here.
308
00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:39,374
Don't stop.
309
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,639
I'll never stop.
310
00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:52,679
Tonight, I ask Mayor Ostrovsky
the tough questions.
311
00:14:52,756 --> 00:14:55,726
Why is she funneling city money
to the zoo?
312
00:14:55,793 --> 00:14:59,787
Why does she conduct
city council meetings in a bar?
313
00:14:59,863 --> 00:15:04,665
And why is her chief of staff a
Pomeranian named George Clooney?
314
00:15:05,369 --> 00:15:08,533
We'll find out when
I put the mayor on "The Grill."
315
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:14,587
Your Honor, you know
how it works on "The Grill."
316
00:15:14,611 --> 00:15:18,139
First question...
How do you respond to the rumors
317
00:15:18,215 --> 00:15:20,013
that you have to be
a single handsome man
318
00:15:20,084 --> 00:15:21,313
to work in your office?
319
00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:22,409
So?
320
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:26,150
Your assistant is barely legal
and has big boobs.
321
00:15:26,223 --> 00:15:27,384
That's my daughter.
322
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:30,587
Lovely girl.
323
00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:32,152
Next question.
324
00:15:32,229 --> 00:15:35,722
Is it about how cute
I look in a tiger suit?
325
00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:37,199
No, it is not.
326
00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:38,735
I despise cute things.
327
00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:40,964
Ruh-roh.
328
00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:42,901
Life isn't cute, Your Honor,
329
00:15:42,973 --> 00:15:45,067
and I don't like
my emotions manipulated.
330
00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:47,338
This show
is not about appearances.
331
00:15:47,411 --> 00:15:50,677
It is about the dark,
ugly reality underneath.
332
00:15:51,548 --> 00:15:54,108
- Who hurt you?
- What?
333
00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:55,709
What?
Nobody hurt me.
334
00:15:55,786 --> 00:15:57,049
What are you talking about?
335
00:15:57,121 --> 00:15:59,886
Was it your mom or your dad?
336
00:15:59,957 --> 00:16:03,257
Which one named you Arnold?
337
00:16:03,327 --> 00:16:05,387
You don't grill me.I grill you.
338
00:16:05,462 --> 00:16:07,328
It was your dad, right?
339
00:16:07,397 --> 00:16:10,196
Wrong.
I didn't have a dad.
340
00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:12,998
I mean, there were a series
of men that I had to call "Dad,"
341
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:15,630
but back to you, Your Honor.
342
00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:17,937
Wow.
That must have been hard.
343
00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:19,670
It wasn't easy.
344
00:16:19,743 --> 00:16:22,440
I mean, one guy was
only six years older than me.
345
00:16:22,513 --> 00:16:26,006
My mom lost her job as a teacher
because of him.
346
00:16:26,617 --> 00:16:31,248
And why did my best friend pay
for my daughter's boob job?
347
00:16:32,055 --> 00:16:34,854
Those are all good questions,
Arnie,
348
00:16:34,925 --> 00:16:37,895
but it looks like
we're running out of time.
349
00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:39,589
Oh, yeah, we are.
350
00:16:39,663 --> 00:16:43,725
Uh, I'll see you tomorrow
on "The Grill."
351
00:16:47,538 --> 00:16:50,337
- Tiger hug?
- Yes.
352
00:16:52,709 --> 00:16:55,372
Oh.
So soft.
353
00:16:55,445 --> 00:16:56,879
So soft.
354
00:16:56,947 --> 00:16:59,815
Why were you wearing
my mother's perfume?
355
00:16:59,883 --> 00:17:01,784
You ruined my kiss acting.
356
00:17:01,852 --> 00:17:03,582
Well, you wore Old Spice.
357
00:17:03,654 --> 00:17:06,146
It was like doing a love scene
with my father.
358
00:17:06,223 --> 00:17:08,692
I never put on Old Spice.
359
00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:11,126
Well, I never wore Shalimar...
360
00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:15,831
Sabotage.
361
00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:18,664
Lucci!
362
00:17:20,971 --> 00:17:23,167
No, it was me.
363
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,675
Melanie!
364
00:17:27,211 --> 00:17:32,275
I'm so sorry, but the rest of
your performance was grrrreat!
365
00:17:34,051 --> 00:17:35,849
Aww.
366
00:17:35,919 --> 00:17:38,479
She's doing what a tiger does.
367
00:17:39,790 --> 00:17:42,157
See? I have the suit on, so
you can't be mad at me, right?
368
00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:44,957
Oh, yes, we can.
369
00:17:45,028 --> 00:17:47,361
That whole play
was based on sexual chemistry,
370
00:17:47,431 --> 00:17:49,127
and you ruined it.
371
00:17:52,135 --> 00:17:54,695
Oh, no.
The reviews are in.
372
00:17:54,771 --> 00:17:55,795
Hang on.
373
00:17:55,873 --> 00:17:58,968
The Plain Dealer says,
"Open a window
374
00:17:59,042 --> 00:18:00,670
'cause these two are hot."
375
00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:01,973
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
376
00:18:02,045 --> 00:18:05,675
"Victoria Chase and Dane Stevens
are a revelation.
377
00:18:05,749 --> 00:18:08,719
Their decision
not to kiss was genius."
378
00:18:08,785 --> 00:18:10,686
- We did it!
- Well, Of course we did.
379
00:18:10,754 --> 00:18:12,382
We're geniuses.
380
00:18:12,456 --> 00:18:15,551
You're the genius, Victoria.
381
00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:18,425
I've never met a more
amazing person in my life.
382
00:18:18,495 --> 00:18:20,930
Aww.
383
00:18:20,998 --> 00:18:23,991
So glad I put the suit on.
384
00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:27,301
Joy, we're a hit.
385
00:18:27,371 --> 00:18:28,737
Congratulations.
386
00:18:28,805 --> 00:18:29,898
Joy, where you going?
387
00:18:29,973 --> 00:18:32,499
Over to Bob's house
to beg forgiveness.
388
00:18:32,576 --> 00:18:36,638
I treated him like my other
boyfriends, and he's not.
389
00:18:36,713 --> 00:18:38,807
He was only lying about a movie.
390
00:18:38,882 --> 00:18:42,341
Wasn't cheating on me
or secretly living in my car
391
00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:44,547
for a month
like other guys have.
392
00:18:45,989 --> 00:18:47,821
Wish me luck.
393
00:18:51,561 --> 00:18:53,621
- Bob.
- Mm.
394
00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:00,650
LET ME SAY
395
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,700
WITHOUT HOPE OR AGENDA
396
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,500
I HATED LOVE ACTUALLY
397
00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:10,736
REALLY HATED IT!
398
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,900
I WILL HATE IT TILL
I LOOK LIKE THIS...
399
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,400
BUT I'D RATHER BE WITH YOU
400
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,800
DOING THINGS I HATE
401
00:19:27,236 --> 00:19:29,736
THAN BE WITH ANYONE ELSE
402
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,700
DOING THINGS I LOVE
403
00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:35,837
Oh, Bob.
404
00:19:49,052 --> 00:19:51,283
And it turns out
there was a Broadway producer
405
00:19:51,354 --> 00:19:53,755
in the audience who saw me,
and he offered me a play.
406
00:19:53,823 --> 00:19:55,485
Wow.
That's great.
407
00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:57,117
So you're going to New York.
408
00:19:57,193 --> 00:19:59,685
Yeah, and I've got to get
in really good shape
409
00:19:59,762 --> 00:20:01,924
because I'm doing a nude scene
with, um...
410
00:20:01,998 --> 00:20:03,091
What's her name?
Angela...
411
00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:04,259
Lansbury?
412
00:20:06,369 --> 00:20:08,167
No, that wasn't it,
413
00:20:08,238 --> 00:20:10,605
but I've got to be to New York
by tomorrow morning,
414
00:20:10,673 --> 00:20:11,766
so I'd better go pack.
415
00:20:11,841 --> 00:20:14,242
Well, if you're gonna be nude,
you don't have to pack much.
416
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,006
Hm.
417
00:20:16,079 --> 00:20:19,675
Once again, Melanie, you're
forgetting how acting works.
418
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,149
Well, good luck.
419
00:20:21,217 --> 00:20:22,981
I'm really happy for you.
420
00:20:23,052 --> 00:20:25,252
- I'll text you when I get there.
- That sounds perfect.
421
00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:26,347
Hey.
422
00:20:26,422 --> 00:20:28,891
How much longer
are you gonna need that suit?
423
00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:29,789
Why?
424
00:20:29,859 --> 00:20:32,522
Somebody egged
the mayor of Cincinnati.
425
00:20:32,595 --> 00:20:34,621
I need it for the lineup.
426
00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:38,227
# Hey! #
427
00:20:42,138 --> 00:20:44,471
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
428
00:20:44,541 --> 00:20:47,033
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
429
00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:51,673
# Ah, ah, ah #
430
00:20:51,748 --> 00:20:54,081
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
431
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,449
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
432
00:20:56,519 --> 00:21:01,048
# Ah, ah, ah #
433
00:21:04,394 --> 00:21:05,987
# Hey! #
30957
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.