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Do you think babies dream?
2
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:30,398
♪ Life is unfair.
3
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,242
Oh, Jamie finally
fell asleep.
4
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,611
Haven't you finished
paying these bills yet?
5
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,045
How am I supposed
to know
6
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,447
which ones
to blow off?
7
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:47,548
"Ultimate
Final Notice"
8
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:48,549
is obviously
more serious
9
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,917
than "Absolute
Final Notice,"
10
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,552
but pink is angrier
than yellow,
11
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,754
and this one's still
saying, "Please."
12
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:54,755
Would someone
get my
13
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,290
calculator
out of the car?
14
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:57,358
I'll get it.
15
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,292
I'll go with you.
16
00:00:58,326 --> 00:00:59,593
That's Beth,
17
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,362
Reese's girlfriend
for the last month.
18
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,264
She's really starting to bug me.
19
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,899
First I had to hear them
through their baby-talk phase.
20
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,436
Then they had their
giggling phone call phase.
21
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,971
Now they're on their
endless making-out phase.
22
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,241
It's gotten to the point
where I can't tell
23
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,409
if they're kissing
or cleaning each other.
24
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,410
Well, forget
this one.
25
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:17,945
What's the vet
going to do?
26
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,780
Bring Dewey's bird
back to life?
27
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,449
The Feds arrested
Morrison today.
28
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,284
He locked himself
in the supply cabinet
29
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,119
and they just carried
the whole thing out.
30
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,655
God, haven't they finished
arresting people yet?
31
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,658
Dewey, could you please
not do that right now?
32
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,726
Look, I need to have
both the Debussy
33
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,296
and the Ravel nailed
by tomorrow morning.
34
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,665
The selection committee
for the youth music festival
35
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,067
won't be impressed
with simple etudes.
36
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,602
What?
37
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,003
I'm just sharing my day.
38
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,972
Thanks for taking an interest.
39
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:47,175
Okay,
we'll be studying.
40
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,276
HAL:
Wait, where's
41
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:49,277
my calculator?
42
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,244
Oh.
43
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,479
I'll get it.
44
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:52,513
I'll go with you.
45
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,754
MAN:
Buckle up.
46
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,991
I'm Agent Stone.
This is Agent Scurry.
47
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:04,958
We're from the FBI.
48
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,126
I thought it was
just a squirrel.
49
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,961
That's why I kept going.
50
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,163
God, if I could have that day
back, I would give anything...
51
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,199
Sir, this is about
52
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,366
the company
you work for.
53
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,468
In the last eight months
54
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,204
we've filed 230
criminal indictments.
55
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,938
People are flying
into jail cells.
56
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:18,939
It's beautiful.
57
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:19,840
Except for
58
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,442
your department.
59
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,511
But we're just about ready
to pounce on Ken Wixted.
60
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,678
Ken Wixted?
61
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:25,979
We've got him dead-to-rights.
We just need you
62
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,281
to confirm a couple
of key details.
63
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:28,382
Did you ever
see Ken Wixted
64
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:30,784
change the numbers on
a Section 13B filing
65
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,221
after it was signed by
the company auditors?
66
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,988
What? No.
67
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,657
Did he ever mention,
maybe in passing,
68
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,158
anything about
an offshore account
69
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,660
in the Cayman Islands,
or a villa?
70
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,694
Anything about a villa?
71
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:41,529
I don't think so.
72
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:42,496
Hal, we really,
73
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,032
really need you
to search your memory.
74
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,501
Think hard about whether
you're remembering right,
75
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:50,003
or whether you should
change your answer to yes.
76
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,972
Do you want me to lie?
77
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,874
We're just asking if
you'd like to confirm
78
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,042
what everybody already knows,
79
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,177
or whether you'd like
to provoke the full fury
80
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,646
of the United
States government.
81
00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,913
Now, can you
swing by
82
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,349
my kid's school?
83
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,751
I forgot to give
him his lunch.
84
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,021
Beth.
85
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,692
Are your parents
passed out yet?
86
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,060
Yeah, but what
are you doing?
87
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,027
I thought you
88
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,028
were working late.
89
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,364
Why are you dressed like that?
90
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,865
Because I've been
thinking about
91
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,166
this moment
for a long time,
92
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,434
and I want it
to be perfect.
93
00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:23,437
Beth, I have something
to tell you.
94
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:28,242
Beth... I love you.
95
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:31,445
I love you.
I love you.
96
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,415
Oh, God.
97
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,183
This is going to be
so horrible for you.
98
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,018
I am so sorry.
99
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:38,886
What do you mean?
100
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,088
I want to break up.
101
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,823
Oh.
102
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,461
Yeah, yeah, that's okay.
103
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:48,629
Yeah, that's fine.
104
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,563
You know,
105
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,299
I was just kidding
106
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,401
anyway about... yeah.
107
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,435
It's no biggie.
108
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:57,905
Look, Reese.
109
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:58,706
It's not you,
110
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,773
it's me.
111
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:01,309
I just think I can do better.
112
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:04,712
I think we should end it now
before things get even...
113
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,480
Can we stop that music?
114
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,923
I should go.
115
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,392
Reese, if
I could make
116
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:21,661
myself like you, I would.
117
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,666
What's that?
118
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,236
Reese, stop, you're going
to wake up my parents.
119
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,539
You really don't want to
do this. It's not what...
120
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,642
She grew on me.
121
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,809
Please don't kill me.
122
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,144
You can break
my fingers.
123
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,646
Or if you just
want to rest,
124
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,180
I'll break them for you.
125
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,485
I just want you
to be happy.
126
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,593
Wow, I thought there'd
be a huge fistfight.
127
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,462
I mean, I had no
right to expect it,
128
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,963
but I would
have understood.
129
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,201
LOIS:
They want you
130
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,169
to lie?
131
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,471
They never said that exactly.
132
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,138
Well, the big guy
never said anything.
133
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,674
These guys are
serious, Lois.
134
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:07,875
And they're
everywhere.
135
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:08,942
It's scary.
136
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,143
Well, I aced my audition.
137
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,045
They're sending me
to the state finals.
138
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,614
So now I just need
to tell them how many
139
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,315
family members are coming.
140
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,685
Dewey, we're in the middle
of something important here.
141
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,653
So that's me and everybody
who cares about me.
142
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:20,954
One.
143
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,990
Do you believe the way
these guys operate?
144
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,958
They find some
weak little patsy
145
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,827
they're sure's going to crack
under the slightest pressure
146
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,862
just so they don't have
to do their own legwork.
147
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,031
I'm embarrassed
for both of us.
148
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,366
Well, this
is America, Hal.
149
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,201
You are not going
to lie to put someone
150
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:35,669
in jail who might
be innocent.
151
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,004
You are right,
and you know what?
152
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,706
I'm going to tell
them that right now.
153
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,552
You've taken my arms
and legs.
154
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,820
What else do you want?
155
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,489
I want your eyeballs
for my chocolate sundae.
156
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:56,690
But I'll be blind,
157
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,259
and your sundae will only taste
a little bit better.
158
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,233
I'm the worst brother ever!
159
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,601
DEWEY:
Malcolm, Malcolm.
160
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,403
Wake up!
Reese is gone.
161
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:12,606
What? Where'd he go?
The note didn't say.
162
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,908
"If my own brother could
stab me through the heart..."
163
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:15,876
Blah, blah, blah...
164
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:16,744
"Teardrops..."
165
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:17,745
Blah, blah, blah...
166
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,079
"Good-bye forever."
167
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,280
Look.
168
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,615
Mom and Dad
are going to make
169
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,884
a big deal out of this.
Let's just sit on it
170
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,219
till I get an answer
about my music festival.
171
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,357
What's happening?
What are you doing?
172
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,859
Wixted rolled
over on you, Hal.
173
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,293
He told us all about
your offshore accounts
174
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,762
in the Cayman Islands,
175
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,064
altering documents,
the villa, everything.
176
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,732
Can't he at least
put some pants on?
177
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,400
Just as soon
as we get a good
178
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,735
perp-walk
out of him.
179
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:42,903
This is
ridiculous!
180
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,037
He doesn't belong
in jail!
181
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,238
He doesn't even look in the back
182
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,907
of the TV Guide
for the crossword answers!
183
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:47,908
Honey, I love you.
184
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:48,876
Keep the phone bill paid
185
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,143
so I can call you.
186
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,579
And the trick
to the thermostat
187
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,280
is to push in
before you twist it.
188
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,615
Sir, you need
to stand still.
189
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,649
And I need a lawyer.
190
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,250
Not Reese's.
I-I want a good one.
191
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,286
Sir, you need
to stop squirming.
192
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,788
Boys, go back in the house.
193
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,623
Boys, your daddy
loves you very much.
194
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,824
And don't worry about this.
195
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,058
Sir, this
is your last warning.
196
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,059
Believe in the American
197
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,095
Justice Sys...
198
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,436
I guess Dad's a no.
199
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,447
Don't worry, Hal.
200
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,016
I will be there
first thing in the morning.
201
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,318
Yes, I will bring your shaving
cream and your toothbrush.
202
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,922
No, Hal, do not make
a break for it.
203
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,757
Say it back to me.
204
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,359
Okay. I love you.
205
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,661
That's not evidence!
206
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,129
Those are my birth
control pills!
207
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,163
I brought them with me!
208
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,431
The beagle made a pointy foot.
209
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,533
It's out of my hands, lady.
210
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,834
What the hell is
wrong with you?
211
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,969
At least leave me one.
212
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,104
Francis, don't make any more
trouble than we already have.
213
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,941
And you do not
have a warrant to
vandalize our house!
214
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,343
When this is all
over, you are going
to be chalking tires
215
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,445
all the way from
here to Montreal!
216
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,548
Don't you threaten me, lady.
217
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,519
♪
218
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,559
...with both hands
and a flashlight!
219
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,828
Okay.
220
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,564
The lawyer's supposed
to meet me here at 7:00.
221
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,465
If I'm late, feed
him something,
222
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,466
but not the tuna casserole.
223
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,834
That has to last for
the next four days.
224
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:24,171
Hopefully, by that time,
your father will...
225
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,740
Somebody better do those dishes.
226
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:27,741
Mom, don't worry.
227
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:28,976
Just do what
you have to do.
228
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,578
We'll look after the house.
I have to go.
229
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,212
Don't let me
forget to get
230
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,380
your father's allergy medication
231
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,715
and pick up his suit
for the hearing.
232
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,216
You want me to
do anything?
233
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,217
Well, you could steal
your brother's girlfriend.
234
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,519
Oh, wait,
you already did that.
235
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,054
I know what I
did was awful.
236
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,890
Believe me, I know,
237
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,157
and I don't even
want forgiveness,
238
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,093
but I think if you all
just give me a chance,
239
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,528
I can prove that I'm a
better person than this.
240
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,564
My eyes are up here.
241
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,535
I'm just going to have to find
Reese, that's all.
242
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,204
It shouldn't be too hard.
243
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,906
Where's he going to go, anyway?
244
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,341
MAN:
Welcome to the U.S. Army,
245
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,844
your home
for the next three years.
246
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,379
You will proceed single-file
on the yellow stripe
247
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,215
to the processing facility.
248
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,718
Do not overwork
your tiny little brains
249
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,887
trying to figure out
what the other stripes are for.
250
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,923
Now move!
251
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,064
Not good enough?
252
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,599
I'm good enough for this place.
253
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,371
Hold it!
254
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,206
Are you sure you're 18?
255
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,376
Got the driver's license
to prove it.
256
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,578
All right, Private Jetson.
257
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:41,448
Get back in line!
258
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,417
YOUNG MAN :
I'm garbage.
259
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,286
I belong
in a garbage can.
260
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,254
I am garbage.
261
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,624
I belong in a garbage can.
262
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:51,892
I am garbage.
263
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,360
I belong in a
garbage can. I am...
264
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,765
Does he have to wear
that thing?
265
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,599
Hey, it was either
house arrest or jail.
266
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,902
I think we made
the right choice.
267
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,070
All right,
268
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,071
your anklet sends a signal
269
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,305
to the tamperproof base station.
270
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,473
Your court order says
271
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,341
you have to stay
within a 50-foot radius.
272
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,843
Can I shower with this?
273
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,112
Oh, now you're
snapping at me?
274
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,815
Okay, you just lost
ten feet.
275
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:15,816
What are you doing?
276
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,450
Let me tell you
how this works.
277
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,252
You may have a court order,
278
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,121
but the truth is
I can set this
279
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,658
to whatever I want:
200 miles or four inches.
280
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,828
Oh, look.
You're vacationing in Vegas.
281
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,764
Whoops. You can't get
out of your own bathroom.
282
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,700
Lois, I've been in
the public defender's office
283
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,301
for ten years,
and I can tell you
284
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,436
that arraignment
was not a disaster.
285
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:40,107
I bet we can get 'em down
to conspiracy to commit fraud.
286
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,542
That's what
he's already charged with!
287
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,044
Oh.
288
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,646
Do you have a pen?
289
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,315
Look, I know how
overworked you are,
290
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,151
but from now on, you
have only one case:
291
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,786
an innocent man
with five children
292
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,487
and a wife whose lives
are teetering
293
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:55,689
on the brink of oblivion.
294
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,324
Please don't let
that happen.
295
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,159
You have to
save my family.
296
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,328
You are the only
person who can help us.
297
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,031
Lois, I swear to you,
I will work night and day
298
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,899
to get your husband
out of this.
299
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,702
My screenplay can wait
a few months.
300
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,538
I'm sorry, Hal.
301
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,240
I have to go to work,
but don't worry.
302
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,242
We will get through this.
303
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,045
I love you.
304
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,850
Oh, I have
the most amazing wife.
305
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,718
Now you're going to throw that
in my face?
306
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,453
That cost you five feet.
307
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,423
All right, troop,
you're next.
308
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,525
Get in the chair.
309
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:36,529
Okay, I was thinking
something like this.
310
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,664
Look at this lifeguard.
311
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,399
Is there a straight-guy version
of that,
312
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,301
'cause that'd be perfect for me.
313
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:50,243
Okay, if you stop here, I think
I can still make it work.
314
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:02,923
It'll look longer
when it's combed out, right?
315
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,058
There's no way
316
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,359
I would have picked the laundry
317
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,795
if I knew that this stuff
was in it.
318
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,529
You're afraid of your
mother's underwear?
319
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,765
What's the big deal about
your mother's underwear?
320
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,266
Stop saying
"mother's underwear."
321
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,535
I don't know how much longer
Mom can handle all this--
322
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,536
the double shifts, the bills,
323
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,704
the meetings
324
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,406
with the police and the lawyers.
325
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,540
Don't forget
the missing son.
326
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,309
I'm going to find him!
327
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,912
Well, if anyone cares,
328
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,446
my flight number is five...
329
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,148
Oh, hey, Mom.
330
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,549
Just give us a second,
and we'll clear
331
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,851
all this stuff
off the bed for you.
332
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:35,923
What time
does she want
333
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,090
the alarm set?
334
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,059
MALCOLM:
5:30.
335
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,794
We're also supposed
to brush our teeth.
336
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,797
Good morning, maggots!
337
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,900
Now, I want you to understand
why I call you maggots.
338
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,402
The maggot is the slimy,
quivering larval form
339
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:53,240
of the common housefly, and we
all know what maggots eat.
340
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,943
And I will be the guy
providing...
341
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,780
Good God.
342
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,916
I bet there's a great story
for this, isn't there, son?
343
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,251
Hang on.
344
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,219
Of course.
345
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,456
Okay.
346
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,858
Would you like to tell me
347
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,625
what happened to your gear,
Private?
348
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,660
Oh, I traded it.
349
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,295
I got this and five cartridges.
350
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,931
So, you just blithely
gave away
351
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,834
your government-issued rucksack
and poncho?
352
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:22,936
Well, the pack, I figure,
I can eventually get
353
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,371
off a dead guy,
and the poncho?
354
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,174
Come on. Does it look
like rain to you?
355
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,677
♪ My drill sergeant
helps me learn ♪
356
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,846
♪ I am just a lowly worm
357
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,781
♪ He commands the sun and rain
358
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,983
Right.
♪ I am just a human stain
359
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,750
♪ My drill...
360
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,514
Oh, my God! Jamie!
361
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,748
Jamie.
362
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,684
Jamie, honey,
363
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:12,920
c-come to Daddy.
364
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,321
Come to Daddy, Jamie.
365
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,956
Come on. Jamie!
366
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,363
Look inside the basket.
367
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,531
Look, Jamie, it's
your favorite.
368
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,403
Jamie, don't go in there.
That's dangerous!
369
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,839
No, no, no, no.
370
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,840
You stay away from there.
371
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,309
Don't you touch that.
372
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,279
Attaboy.
373
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,680
Attaboy, Jamie!
374
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,183
There.
375
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,551
Hello.
376
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,718
MAN:
Hello, Hal.
377
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,754
I have some information
that can help you.
378
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,789
What? Who is this?
379
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,092
I'm not going to tell you,
but I know you're innocent,
380
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,093
and I can prove it.
381
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,294
We need to meet
382
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,363
face to face,
somewhere where there's a crowd.
383
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,430
But I can't...
384
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:58,531
Look, if you want to stay
385
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,732
out of jail, you'll do it.
386
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:00,934
Why can't you come here?
387
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,302
Your place is being watched.
388
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,703
Your phone's probably
bugged, too.
389
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,871
Meet me Thursday
390
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,639
at noon at the place
where you go
391
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,408
when you say you're getting
more toner.
392
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,143
The Donut Shack?
393
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,112
All right, plan "B."
394
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,580
Meet me at the place
where you go
395
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,548
when you say you've got
a dentist appointment.
396
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,450
Don't say where it is.
397
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:18,418
Got it.
398
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,287
Hey, I know who this is.
399
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,989
You're...
400
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,391
My drill sergeant's breath
is not my concern!
401
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,726
My drill sergeant's
breath is not my concern!
402
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,262
My drill sergeant's breath
is not my concern!
403
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,498
So, I put the base station
in there
404
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,966
with a portable power supply.
405
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,136
I modulated a standard cell
phone to mimic the analog modem.
406
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,471
Just make sure you stay
within 30 feet of this backpack.
407
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:42,009
Don't worry. I've got the ankle
bracelet completely camouflaged.
408
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,581
Can you believe your mom wanted
to give these to the blind?
409
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,617
Remember, you have
to be back by 4:00.
410
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,784
That's when Mom gets home.
411
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,120
And you understand
how important it is
412
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,487
to keep this from her,
don't you?
413
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,156
Francis, you're in charge
of making sure
414
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,658
Malcolm doesn't betray me,
like he's prone to do.
415
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,627
Absolutely.
416
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,869
Well, troop, you've
polished your boots
before everyone else.
417
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:14,341
How on God's good earth
did you accomplish
that miracle?
418
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,509
I just did it exactly the way
you told me to.
419
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,478
Remove laces,
pull tongue forward,
420
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,147
apply polish,
pull tongue backward,
421
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,382
buff, replace laces, repeat.
422
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,584
I did the same thing to make my
bed and secure my foot locker.
423
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:31,724
Well, that's the most
miraculous turnaround
that I've ever seen.
424
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,860
I want you to explain
to these recruits
425
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,628
how the worst
soldier in the unit
426
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,564
has managed to put them all
to shame!
427
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,999
I just stopped thinking.
428
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:43,036
I figured out that using my
brain was the whole problem...
429
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,572
not just here,
but my entire life.
430
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:48,075
If I just do exactly
what I'm told and nothing else,
431
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,477
then everything gets easy.
432
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,912
It's not even a question
of smart or dumb.
433
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:56,249
You just turn yourself
into a tool.
434
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,418
I'm much happier that way.
435
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,687
I'm the world's happiest tool.
436
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,090
You must be proud
of yourself, son.
437
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,491
I don't know if I am or not.
438
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,559
I'm waiting for you
to tell me.
439
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,662
My God.
440
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:14,434
A soldier like you
comes along once in
a thousand years.
441
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,539
Mom! You're home early.
442
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,840
Yup. Got fired.
What?!
443
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,175
I gave someone $2,000
444
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,712
in change instead of $20.
445
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:26,779
But you know what?
446
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,848
We just adapt. We move forward.
447
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,049
I'll get another job,
448
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,918
and in the meantime,
I can get started on dinner.
449
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,621
Actually, they repossessed
the fridge this morning.
450
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,892
Fine. We will get through this.
451
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:42,962
It's okay.
452
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,131
He's all right.
453
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,400
Just got away from
me for a second.
454
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:54,241
And we will get through this...
as long as we're together,
455
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,942
as long as we have each other.
456
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:59,279
We are a family. Where's Dad?
457
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,116
He's gone.
458
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,155
I think I'll take a shower.
459
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,064
Left, right, left, right!
460
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,434
Fork up! In! Chew, chew!
461
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,102
Left to right!
462
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,937
Front to back!
463
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,606
Bear down!
464
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,642
Pinch!
465
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:45,425
One, two, three, four...
466
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,161
29, 30.
467
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,810
Listen, I don't
have much time.
468
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,478
I know everybody
who's in on this,
469
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:06,879
and I know exactly
what they did
470
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:07,847
because I helped 'em.
471
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,048
What?
They paid
me millions.
472
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,618
I was happy
just to sit back
473
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,852
and watch you
take a fall.
474
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,556
But then I found
out I'm dying.
475
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,825
I got six months
at the most.
476
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,027
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
477
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,396
Listen, I can't go to my grave
with this on my conscience,
478
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,998
so I'm flipping on all of them--
I'm going to tell the truth...
479
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,668
...but we can't
tip our hand.
480
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:29,902
They're too powerful.
481
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,571
If they even get
a whiff of this,
482
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,340
they'll just fabricate
new documents,
483
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,307
and we'll both go down.
484
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,642
You won't hear from me
485
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,777
until I show up
at the courthouse.
486
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,979
Don't follow me.
487
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,981
I've also got some
overdue book fines
488
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,751
I want to get
off my conscience.
489
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,721
Mom, will you at least
490
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:49,822
talk to us?
491
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,858
LOIS:
I'm in the shower, honey.
492
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,660
Yes, we know
you're in the shower.
493
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,328
It's been three hours now.
494
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,863
The water must be freezing.
495
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,932
LOIS:
Do I bother you
when you're in the shower?
496
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:11,110
Mom, listen, I know how
hard this is for you.
497
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,912
I know how scared
you are,
498
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,213
but you know what?
499
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,215
You've got a family
that depends on you,
500
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,250
and as impossible
501
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,351
as it seems, you just got
502
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,219
to suck it up one more time.
503
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:23,122
Just one more time, Mom;
that's all we need.
504
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,358
You know you can do this.
505
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:28,461
LOIS:
In a minute.
I'm in the shower.
506
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,464
Ooh!
507
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,533
Sorry, Officer. Excuse me.
508
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,435
You in a hurry?
You know, busy day.
509
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,769
You understand.
Is that your backpack?
510
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,572
Oh, uh, no, no.
Absolutely not.
511
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,673
Better check it out.
512
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,280
Whoa! I think we
got a bomb here.
513
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,381
You got to get out of here.
514
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:49,482
No, I-I can't.
515
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:50,783
Sir, I need you to step away
516
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,752
to a distance
of at least 150 feet.
517
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:56,122
I can't do that. I'm... I'm...
518
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:58,591
I'm in the bomb squad.
519
00:20:58,625 --> 00:20:59,592
What?
That's right.
520
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,461
You better let a professional
handle this.
521
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,163
Damn. I was a week
from retirement.
522
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,232
You get to safety.
I'll take it from here.
523
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,033
Yes, sir.
36591
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