Original subtitles

Previously, on "Southern Charm."

- What's up, gorgeous? - Hi.

As Olivia juggled beaus both new and old...

You've been such a support, and I appreciate it.

♪ Yeah, he's got some shine ♪

Taylor was navigating a new normal with Shep.

It's nice to be able to coexist.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, she was on the outs with the rest of us.

Olivia needs to be able to have a safe space right now.

♪ Ooh, ooh

And when we all got together at JT's party...

Taylor was sending nudes to Whitney.

Taylor sent pictures to Whitney.

What pictures?

Well, I felt wrong seeing it.

Craig, I didn't show you.

You 100% put it right in my face.

♪ Whoa

Taylor tried to defend herself.

Yes, there was a picture that you could not see anything.

But not all of us were buying what she was selling.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend

that you're some----ing better than thou because you're not.

[dramatic music]

♪ Mm-hmm

[jaunty upbeat music]

♪

These are supposed to be alternating.

This comes up, back, up, and back.

[sighs]

Mm-hmm. [bell rings]

Hey, babies, good morning.

Now it's time to move outside.

[blowing air]

What's up with the girls?

Like, do we have any girlfriends?

I have one.

I'm asking her to be my Valentine.

Your little boy is growing up so fast.

[laughter]

Hey, Mom, I was wondering if I could

take a group of guys up to Linville

and spend time at the house.

And then ask Dad about the outdoor grill.

Is it pretty self-explanatory or is it--

[laughing] Yeah, I certainly don't.

♪

[groans]

♪

Oof. Ooh, gross.

- JT, JT. - Yo, what's up, man?

The shambles of last night.

Dude, I'm kind of-- kind of hungover

after that one yesterday. - Yeah.

Had a little too much.

Dude, do you remember Craig did over here?

Um, there was a lot going on.

He was trying to big dick energy me.

But he brought his TPE.

You know what that stands for? - No.

- Tiny Pillow Energy in here. - [laughs]

Will you bring me my shoes, please?

Craig, you can have your shoes back

if you do not put them on my pillows.

He's, you know, half adult, half child. It's fine.

Let's start the cleanup. - That's what I'm here for.

I feel, like, a little awkward

even being back at the scene of the crime here.

Yeah.

The last thing I was hoping for

was for Olivia's, like, first meal back to "normalcy"

to be World War III, you know.

Yeah. And Taylor told me she feels so, like, alienated.

Every single one of the girls are upset with me.

I'm just so sorry for you. And it was just brutal.

But I mean, Taylor has been caught, what, three lies now,

four lies in the last couple of weeks?

I got this soft spot for this girl.

I do think that there is an angel in there

that's just been beaten to sh-- by Shep.

You see the good in her, which is good, but--

People can make bad decisions.

It doesn't make them bad people.

I know that-- - I agree with that.

When I was going through the pain of a divorce,

there were a few years where I was not easy to be around.

So I could look at Taylor and go,

are you not trustworthy?

Or are you just going through pain?

It's good to see you supportive of Taylor Ann

as a friend, but at the same time, like,

the only way she's going to get back with Olivia

as best friends again is if she's honest to a T

with her from here on out.

'Cause we talked, and she was telling me

she has Taylor at an arm's length

while figuring out if she trusts her.

But if a new story comes out, like if they had sex...

[sighs]

I cannot see Olivia getting over that.

But it will also burn Austen,

be he would look like the biggest liar.

Yeah.

Don't talk about friendships

when you're kissing the guy that she likes.

It's disgusting. [tense notes]

Austen is sitting there like a coward.

Just thankful that he's not on the skewer for once.

It's getting hard to watch.

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

♪

I forgot you take longer than me to get ready sometimes.

[chuckles] Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Thanks--thanks for meeting up with me.

Yeah. Your latte.

Look at this all-black thing you got going on.

- [laughs] - Thank you for the coffee.

You're welcome.

- How are you? - Good.

How are you doing? - Good.

Yeah, I just feel like

I just didn't get to talk to you last night.

And you know, last night threw me

for a----ing, you know, loop.

I mean, that was such a strange decision.

Like, Taylor, what are you doing?

And like, I don't know what she was thinking

when she sent that to Whitney.

Sending it to Whitney, of all people, like--

- Did you get one? - No.

You never got a nudie in this spin-out session?

I never got a nudie from Taylor, no.

So you and Taylor haven't talked?

We've talked, just about everything else, not that.

Well, yeah. No, of course.

And you know, she was there for me.

But like, I'm going to take who's at my door

and just be happy, just like I did with you.

I mean, I stood out in the driveway with you

for, like, 20 minutes, and that's all I wanted.

Believe it or not, Austen stepped up for me.

After my brother's funeral,

he stopped by to drop off some food.

And so I went outside and talked to him.

And we hugged and stood in the driveway for a while.

And having someone who understands

how it feels to lose a sibling come through and be there

is comforting.

♪

Look, it did come to my attention

with talking through it with my therapist that

maybe I don't make it clear to certain people in my life

that, like, you know, just how, like,

important that they are to me.

And like, the talk that you and I had at Lisa and Caleb's...

Do not talk to me about being a friend.

You don't know the definition of being a friend.

[tense music]

It just made me sad to think that you thought

that I didn't care about, you know, our,

you know, relationship in kinda any sort of capacity.

And I just don't want it to ever be that way again.

But I just realized how important that,

you know, you are in my life.

I, like, want to be able to trust you and get back there.

I just don't know how.

There's, like, a mental blockage.

[soft dramatic music]

Part of me understands

the fact that she doesn't trust me.

But at the same time,

I'm trying to take a mature approach to, like,

letting her work out those feelings

and being able to, you know, continue being friends.

Like, I--I am going to push through her,

you know, ice wall if it----ing kills me.

This goes back to my reason for calling you

'cause you keep on telling me that

the proper line of communication

just hasn't happened and that you've heard things from...

- So this you doing that. - You know, X, Y, and Z.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to be talking to Taylor

any time soon about my feelings for you or anyone.

Like, you understand she was telling me that you loved me

and that we should give it a true, genuine chance.

It's----ed.

I mean, but that was the truth.

I do love you.

And I know that I have, you know, hurt you.

But I just know that you and I

are supposed to be in each other's lives.

I want to, like, lean into everything you're saying.

I'm just, like, in a funk a bit.

But it'll be nice to just be around each other

and not daydream of how to--

- Right, right. - Kill you.

That's why, like, I am going to continue to text you things

like the movie quotes and things like that.

[laughs]

[soft dramatic music]

Whatever you need or don't need,

I'm going to keep on bugging you and texting with you.

I appreciate the direct line of communication

we're practicing here.

I just want to, like, keep-- keep it going.

[soft upbeat music]

Looking forward to it.

Coming up...

Austen had Olivia over.

And I'm pretty sure that something happened.

[upbeat music]

You hungry? Give you some leftovers.

How about that?

♪

Howdy.

Yo. How you doing?

Good, man. You look fresh.

- Well, you know. - You look April fresh.

Let's see what we want here.

I'll try raspberry fizz.

I'll go with the lager, please.

Let's get the turkey club.

You want to split a turkey club?

- Yeah. Yeah, I do. - Okay.

- After you. - Are we going over there?

Oh, man. Sunny out.

I thought it was going to be a bit colder.

- It's just really nice out. - Turkey club and gyro.

- Okay. - Wow. Thank you.

- Hey, no. - Good boy.

I like it when you're aggressive.

Dogs work on a reward system.

So when you train them, make them sit or something,

trust me, our dogs are spoiled, feral animals.

All right.

Um...

You should have told me about the nude photo.

Just right off the bat.

And you showed it to everyone else.

Like, it's--it's-- it's not cool.

Well, look, man. I thought it was just a joke.

I wasn't trying to conceal it from you or anything.

I've known Whitney a long time.

So I wish he had told me,

especially if he was showing my friends the picture.

I mean, yeah, it sucks.

Just so you know, I deleted it,

just to clear the evidence.

- Was it explicit? - No.

Was it dark?

She said it was dark and grainy.

I don't remember.

It was just my mistake to kind of laugh about it,

joke around with my mom and Madison

and then make it more serious than it was.

I don't know.

Maybe she's trying to get you angry or something.

I just figured-- - Yeah.

I mean, she just needs support and an ally right now.

I mean, Taylor's on a----ing island, man.

I-I-I-I hate it for her. I hate it for her.

- Yeah. - And I feel guilty.

I feel bad. I do, I do, I do.

It pains me to see Taylor so morally and spiritually lost

because I just feel responsible.

We are seeing a different side of you

that is unrecognizable.

I have not been the best version of myself,

but I went through a very terrible breakup

with somebody who, like, crushed me.

Taylor and I, we were in love.

And I hurt her and I have this guilt.

[sighs]

I need to get out of town.

I would love to have gone with you up to Linville.

Yeah, Linville. I know you can't come.

- I'm sorry. - There's not much going on.

I mean, we're just going to, like,

cook steaks and drink fine wine and stuff like that.

But-- - That's cool.

It's just the guys. I know that you--

that JT is a lot to deal with. He's just kind of nerdy.

You know what I mean? But he thinks he's cool.

[laughs] - It's amusing.

[laughs] Craig.

Jesus. Snap your finger off.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪

Hi, Penny.

Want to help me put some table tents together?

[gentle music]

♪

Okay.

♪

[sighs]

[phone rings]

- Hi, honey. - Hi.

Penelope is still on her deal, so.

No.

I know what a chastity belt is, Mom.

Oh.

Well, there have been, you know,

little things going on, really, with a lot of people.

So I think that I want to just come home

just to kind of, you know, switch it up,

get out of the house.

Um, I'll be okay.

Yeah.

When things get difficult,

I typically just want to be with my family.

They've always been so loving and wanting me to grow.

And it's nice to know that no matter what I do,

they're always going to, like, love and care for me.

It feels like everybody is against me.

Have I made mistakes recently?

Absolutely. But I'm working on it.

Yeah.

But, you know, with Olivia, I did breach her trust.

I want to be able to move past that.

You know, with Conner's passing,

we had to put our conversation on pause.

So I want to invite her to the lake house

and revisit that if she is ready.

Where do I begin with the lake?

I've known that place since I was three years old.

My grandparents are right down the road.

My aunt and uncle are right down the road.

It's just this happy oasis.

It is.

I will always love and value her in our friendship.

And so I want to make things right.

Yeah.

Tell Dad hi.

Love you guys. Bye.

[soft upbeat music]

Okay, Penny Pop.

You like the lake too.

Coming up...

I've had enough, dude.

I've had enough of him

getting away with murder in this friend group.

Olivia is just as guilty as Austen is.

You don't stand up and hold this guy accountable.

[upbeat music]

Dude, do I need a bathing suit or anything?

What do I pack?

So dress warm and don't wear anything skimpy.

♪

♪

Oh, what's this one? God, I hate packing.

Day one. Day two.

♪

Craig, got your stuff. Got your overnight bag.

♪

[van beeping]

- Hi. How's it going? - Hello. How you doing?

- Where do I put my bags? - I'll take your bag.

Okay.

Go, go, go.

♪

Ride in style. Hey, buddy.

- What's up, buddy? - Oh, my gosh. Bourbon, huh?

Oh, yeah. Might be a little early, but.

- Yeah. Good to see you. - Good to see you, brother.

Hey.

All aboard the bang bus, baby.

What's up, buddy? How we doing?

Hey, Craigy.

- What's up, fellas? - Good to see you.

- Rod. - Hey. Good to see you.

What's up, you little bitch?

- Make yourself at home. - Craig.

Got some large humans.

I feel like this bus is going to fill up real quick.

Oh, yeah.

This is so cozy.

Are we really on this bus for, like, five hours?

[quirky tense music]

It's not normal to be, like, in a confined space with someone

who's, like, trying to date, you know, your ex.

Austen's like, is it too late?

Maybe he'll just Uber. - I would.

[laughter]

I'm like, strap me to the roof of this bus.

[upbeat music]

- What's up, guys? - What's up?

What's up, buddy?

The last piece of the puzzle has arrived.

Smallest piece of the puzzle? [laughter]

[music slows down and stops]

Ma'am. [laughter]

She's leaving with his stuff. She's leaving with his stuff.

Oh, that's amazing.

I feel like he gets the short end of the stick

on a lot of small things.

Oh, wow, it's cozy in here, isn't it?

- Yes, it is. - Wow.

Come on in, brother. Have a seat.

This is going to be some intimate conversation.

Sh--.

[upbeat music]

All right. Mountain weekend, 2023.

Hey, if these explode, drink 'em quick.

Here we go.

All right. Nectar.

You got any new flavors coming out?

Are you going to make me a pumpkin beer this year?

I mean, you made me a lager. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know that I've ever been to the mountains

of North Carolina. - Oh, my God. It's cool.

Beautiful.

Guys, we are going to go fly fishing.

I'm pumped.

- I never caught a fish. - Oh, wow.

Well, it's not like when you just leave it there

and hope something get it.

Like, you have to be like trying to get it.

JT, you, like, dress like, you know,

you fish and hunt and all that sh--.

That's what I was thinking.

How does it feel to live a lie?

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- I hate that. - What?

I, like, paid extra to have my, like,

Valentine's Day flowers and card delivered this morning,

and it's, like, still not there.

- Yeah. - Is she at your house?

Paige? No. She's in New York.

Will you be my Valentine?

Well, considering that my mom said no, I am available.

What is everyone's relationship status?

Tied down. [laughter]

Openly dating.

Single.

My----ing therapist just recommended

that I don't sleep with anyone

for the next----ing two months.

Well, yeah, you shouldn't because

you don't know how to be alone. - Okay.

Don't be mean. [...]

Oh, my God. This could be the start of a great romcom.

Like, you meet the right girl, but you're like,

I have to wait two months, though.

I don't know. Yeah.

Then, like, the big night finally comes.

I think that's called "40 Days and 40 Nights."

- Yeah. - [laughs]

♪

Call Shep Rose.

[phone ringing]

- Hey. - Hey.

Happy Valentine's Day.

[chuckles] I'm surprised you remembered.

- [scoffs] - [laughs]

Yeah.

Were you going to ask me to be your Valentine?

You sound--you sound salty.

[laughter]

How are you?

Good.

And I'm going to spend some time with Mom and Dad.

Okay.

Good, good, good.

Well, I don't want to drag you away,

but I have a caterer tomorrow night

who's cooking some really good stuff.

So we have extra room.

It'd be awesome if you and Olivia came up.

Yeah. I mean, again, I'm not sure what time she plans...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyhoo--

Also happy Valentine's, Taylor!

- I said that. - Wow, thank you.

JT would like to tell Taylor happy Valentine's Day.

- [laughs] - Um.

Wow.

Listen. I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

She's driving up to her folks' place.

How far is that from us?

45 minutes from us.

Are you guys excited about Olivia coming?

I mean, it's going to be a lot of testosterone

all weekend so, yeah,

let's get a couple of pretty girls in the building.

[quirky tense music]

[chuckles]

♪

I'm going to take a swig of the bourbon.

There we go.

A swig of the swag.

[bottle clunks] [music slows down and stops]

Oh, my God. [laughter]

Don't quit my day job. [laughter]

For the win.

Look out.

♪

Oh, my God.

College. Guys' trip.

I saw your eyes just change

as that went through your system.

[humming] [laughter]

Now you're all in real big trouble.

[burps]

♪

[lullaby music]

Craig, we could technically do a negotiation here.

Look at that teamwork.

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

All right. See this, boys?

The topography's changing.

22 miles to Linville Falls.

Why is there a signature required

for the flowers, you [BLEEP]?

[upbeat music]

Do you think panda bears are real?

I really wanted them to be real.

- Pandas? - [chuckling]

Yeah.

Pandas are----ing real, dude.

Hey, shut your mouth till you put your----ing hat on.

[laughter] - Joke's on you.

Everyone in here already has one.

Your tinfoil hat is required to listen.

Craig and all his conspiracies.

I really think Craig has got a screw loose.

What if I had to walk backwards the rest of my life

because my brain's [...] up

from some crazy government shot?

- Is that on YouTube? - It's a real----ing thing.

Just for sh--s and giggles, why aren't they real?

There's just no evidence of it.

[laughter]

Well, you gotta put a hat on to hear it.

Pandas definitely aren't real.

Tell me more, Craig. I wish to learn more.

They are people in panda suits.

I'm going to make you a tinfoil hat,

and then I'm going to teach you the ways of the world.

I can't wait to spend the next two days with you.

[laughter]

Coming up...

Guess who left her bra on my, like, little poof?

- Olivia? - Yes.

What? Did you hook up with her?

[music slows down and stops]

[laid-back upbeat music]

♪

All right, Penny. We made it.

Come on, little girls.

Come on.

Oof.

Home again, home again, jiggety jig.

♪

Boo. - Hello.

Hi.

- Welcome home. - Hi.

Yay.

Hi.

[grunts] I've got lots of groceries.

Oh, my gosh. Girl, you are--

- That's all wine. Hi, Dad. - Wow.

No food, just all wine? - I need a few hands.

- No kidding. - Hi.

- Hey. - Penny!

- I like that shirt. - Safe travels.

Oh, my goodness, honey.

You've grown. - Come say hello.

The lake house is nestled away

in the mountains of North Carolina,

just like a little mountain oasis.

When I'm at the lake with my family,

we'll just hang out, build a fire,

drink some wine, and relax.

- Yay. - Happy Valentine's.

I know.

Like, we used to not have a TV up there,

so it was really, like, you really unplug.

But we've upgraded. We've got TVs and Wi-Fi.

[laughs]

Sweet dreams are made of brie.

I love that. You gave that to us.

Oh, sweet dreams are made of cheese.

- Cheese. - Who am I to diss a brie?

- Yeah, yeah. - Who that? Who that?

- Hello. - All right.

- Hello, hello, hello. - Who that?

Hey, sweetheart. - Hi.

- Hey, darling. - Mwah.

Come on, Dad. Yeah, why don't you--

- Hey, darling. - How are you?

- Good. - Good.

Can I get you a glass of wine?

Um.

I won't pour it as tall as Mom poured it for me.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Yeah. Just a swallow.

My grandparents have been married for about 70 years.

That's wild.

Come sit down.

Dad, do you want to sit right here?

I can't even think about 70 years of my own life,

much less with somebody else.

But that's what I want.

- Do it. - Oh!

- Have some wine and cheese. - Well, how nice.

- Hey. - Uh-oh.

- Hello there, guys. - Hey.

- Hi. - Hey.

Hello.

- Caroline, hello. - Yes.

Thank you, thank you.

Why is Penelope wearing a diaper?

What happened? [laughter]

She's on her period, Worth.

- She is? - She is. She's a woman now.

Penny.

- Look at Mom's face. - There we go.

- Go. Come on. - Oh, yeah.

He likes it here.

You courting anybody these days?

No. I came here for Valentine's Day.

I was hoping that y'all would be my Valentines.

[laughter] - That's right. That's right.

When did people stop using the word "courtin'"?

- Courting. - I don't know.

It went from courting to dating to talking.

No, talking would be first, right?

It's now talking to dating.

Well, now they've got DTR.

You have to Define The Relationship.

- Okay. - DTR.

Well, that's too bad for you young folks.

[laughter]

How many years later, Granddad?

- 67. - 67.

- 67 years later. - Yeah.

And now I'm reaping the rewards.

He does everything I say.

- What year does that happen? - [laughs]

You have to wait 65 before they start obeying you.

I don't know about all that. [laughter]

That's right. [laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪

Dibs on that upstairs room.

- This house is, like, so good. - Yeah.

This place is sweet.

I've stayed here for a couple of times.

♪

Wow, this is amazing.

- Yeah, come check it out. - It's so beautiful.

Look at that guy.

Wow.

- Where should I go? - Down.

Down? [chuckles] Story of my life.

- Yeah. - Where am I?

Up there, right above me.

Where am I going?

Where's the downstairs door, here?

Right here. Okay.

Am I in the garage?

Rod, you're up and all the way that way.

Okay, all right.

And pick whichever one you want.

Austen, you're up. You're right there.

You're all the way down there. You and Rod are separate rooms.

Shep, thank you.

♪

This is a good one.

Oh, beautiful view of the driveway.

[claps]

- This'll do. - JT.

- It's a bunk bed. - Yeah.

So this is you.

Make yourself at home and all that good stuff.

All right.

♪

Come on, boy. You get to eat before we do.

Hold on.

My family's been going to Linville since the '50s.

My grandfather bought a place there.

And so my mom grew up going there,

and I grew up going there.

It's so beautiful and green and streams

and golf and fishing and

all the stuff that makes me happy.

- Welcome back, right? - Yeah, welcome back.

Yeah. I love this.

I really do love this place. - Appreciate it, man.

Room's really nice, by the way.

I don't think there's a bad one in the house.

Good. Let's get this fire going.

Yeah. Get the fire going.

It's not too cold. It's kind of nice, actually.

Oh, it's great.

Yeah, a little John Deere tractor.

[grunts] Yeah. Maybe a little too small.

- There you go. - Yeah.

Let it go for--leave it on.

- Yeah, yeah. - We can make one inside too.

You're going to want a third layer on.

Shep, I love this picture of you.

God damn. You look very sexy here.

- [laughs] - Oh, my God.

What the [BLEEP]? - I was fishing in Alaska.

I was 19 years old.

I'm going to put you on my bathroom wall.

My mom likes it too.

She thinks I look very handsome.

So what's up?

My mom came and brought a lot of groceries.

All right.

Let's put this together, make a few hearts.

You're used to breaking them, not making them.

That's for sure.

[upbeat music]

- I like a little cayenne. - Yeah, I agree.

Let's go to town. - I like that.

Little garlic salt. - Oh, yeah.

Looks like you're playing with a brain.

- [chuckles] Well-- - Baby, our dinner.

Shep, do you have any red wine or anything?

- Yeah. - Here's some cab.

- Oh. - Opening her up.

- I will. - Put more wood on.

Here, put yours on--oh, sh--. Same time.

[notification chimes]

What do you need help with?

- My boyfriend, Rod... - Yeah.

Has requested me to bring him a White Claw to his bedside.

Okay.

[quirky suspenseful music]

♪

How are we feeling?

I need to sit down for a second.

Do you have the Wi-Fi, by the way?

I have not asked yet.

I had some things to tell you.

We're going to talk sh--. Let's close the door.

And Austen is proving

he deserves zero benefit of all of the doubts.

I'm going to put my glass down for this one.

Yeah.

I'm pretty sure that something happened with Olivia.

I formed this meat for y'all.

That's not going to work.

We need to make that into, like, six different patties.

Well, no sh--.

Well, I didn't know you knew that.

- Is it for-- - Um, yeah. Um--hmm.

These are too big.

All right, Austen, we need you to break the hearts up.

All right.

- Austen, let's have a chat. - Okay.

What's going on with you and Rod?

Let's go in my room.

- I'll be back. - Gosh.

Welcome to ADHD kitchen.

[suspenseful music]

♪

- Gotta catch me up. - I know.

I actually had a bit of a day with Olivia,

which was really nice. - Just you two?

Yeah. I just know that Rod thinks that that's--

something happened.

[tense music]

So I'm out with a good girlfriend of mine

that Austen has been flirty with and on a couple dates

here and there over the last few months.

She tells me like, "Oh, like, after I saw you Thursday,

"super random, like, Austen lives around the corner.

And I went over there."

And in the morning, she goes downstairs,

used the restroom, looks over, and there's an ottoman.

And there's a bra on the ottoman.

Did the girl say, like, "Hey, who's bra is this?"

Or like, "What's going on here?"

If he had Olivia over--

so this is assuming that's hers.

[dramatic music]

A good girlfriend of mine that Austen has been flirty

with went back to his house.

And she looks over and there's an ottoman.

And there's a bra on the ottoman.

Did the girl say, like, "Hey, who's bra is this?"

If he had Olivia over--

so this is assuming that's hers.

[dramatic music]

- You and Olivia had, like... - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- A hang-out. - Yeah, yeah.

We met up in the morning for coffee, just to talk.

And then we went to lunch.

And she literally was like,

"Honestly, I just want to watch, like,

a movie at your house," which is, you know, what we do.

Like, we used to do it so often.

And I was like, "Yeah, of course."

She was like, "I'm going to be on this side of the couch,"

you know, "And you're on that side."

I was like, all right. - Right.

It's totally fine.

So then we, you know,

watch 3/4 of our favorite,

you know, romcom, like an Ashton Kutcher movie.

My----ing guy.

And-- - "Friends With Benefits"?

Then guess who left

her----ing bra on

my, like, you know, little poof?

Olivia?

Yes.

Dude, this is not okay behavior.

- I mean-- - This has got to stop.

Austen's getting away with murder.

[dramatic music]

I'm frustrated in so many ways.

I went to Austen like a gentleman.

I told him like a man I was interested

and I was pursuing her.

- He gave you the green light. - He did.

- Dude-- - I wasn't asking permission.

But he did.

Now I'm just watching Austen just [BLEEP] with her feelings.

♪

Are you sure that it was her--I mean--

Bra came off, so something happened.

Well, did you hook up?

No.

I think he's crossing a little bit of a line.

You know, I don't think

Austen should be inviting Olivia over right now.

It's not the right time.

But he's an idiot.

I'm being dead serious, dude.

If we would have hooked up,

I would have told you that something happened,

but nothing did happen.

In my opinion, totally normal

and not worth bringing up to people, right?

Because that's, like, a private thing.

Like-- - Yeah.

I wouldn't tell anyone but me.

All right. Let's go back downstairs.

It hurts me that she did this.

But honestly, like, I haven't even

processed my feelings towards Olivia yet

because I'm so disappointed in Austen.

I'm just so confused.

Can I really be upset if she left her bra there?

Is that on Austen or is that on Olivia?

Is that on both of them? Are they both guilty, you know?

I don't know what to do with it.

And it's been tense with Austen and I

for a month or two now at this point.

So is there a little part of me that's nervous that

he wants a little bit more again?

Of course there is.

Dude, we can't leave this weekend

and just keep this quiet. - No.

We got to confront this.

That's why I asked you to come up here.

I need to----ing talk about this.

So what do you want to do?

I'm going to wait until he looks at me

even the slightest wrong and I will bring it up.

And I will go at him.

♪

[soft upbeat music]

Okay. Where's the grill, buddy?

It's right through there. Right through there.

Oh, it's very hot.

It's going to take a while to cook.

All right.

A strainer is what we need now, boys.

I----ing hate how things are hidden.

- Where have you two been? - Charging my phone, unpacking.

- Chit-chatting? - Little bit.

Hmm.

This is the best part. [cheese squelching]

That looks like Velveeta, right?

This is basically the euphemism from my childhood.

[chuckles] This is my happy place.

Macaroni and cheese and burgers.

[chuckles]

Like I'm ten years old again.

Velveeta shells and cheese!

Who's watching the heart burgers?

They're not heart burgers anymore.

They're just burgers. - [sighs]

Yeah, we broke the two hearts.

They're broken-hearted. All of us.

We did--well, Shep and I did just break them, so yes.

Shock that you two broke the hearts together.

Well, someone's got to do it.

Well, you are a pro.

[tense music]

[chuckles]

I'm getting really upset

because I can't keep watching Austen get away with murder.

He's betrayed Shep, he's betrayed Rod.

and he thinks he can just walk on water.

But he can't, because we see everything

and hear about everything.

And he's hurting people.

Craig loves putting barbecue sauce on every----ing--

- Tonight's dinner, yeah. - [chuckles]

Well, it goes a long way when you're not, like,

taking your time to, like, figure sh-- out.

- Oh, they look good. - I know.

How many men does it take to light one wick?

I'm going to have to get my hands involved.

Aw. Come on, little guy.

Little Craig, don't watch this.

Give it a couple strokes. It'll be good.

Is everybody having a good time?

[chuckles] - I am entertained.

- Yes, sir. - Good.

- Yeah. - Craig, don't watch this.

[upbeat music]

♪

Mm. Death row.

Death row meal is Velveeta shells and cheese.

And I'll be, like, keep them coming, warden.

- Who wants mushrooms? - Slap some on.

Thanks, dude.

You're going to fly fish in the morning?

Yeah.

I'm excited to catch some fish tomorrow.

Dude, good job on the burgers.

Thank you.

The process never looks clean,

but the end result, hopefully, is usually pretty great.

Well, all right, well, hey, cheers, y'all.

- Yeah. - Cheers.

Cheers to friends coming together in the mountains.

And this sick house. Thank you, Shep.

Beautiful house, Shep. Thank you.

Thank you, Shep. Let's have a little bit of fun.

Let's drink some bourbon. - Rod, Happy Valentine's.

Cheers to you.

[quirky dramatic music]

Has Paige received her Valentine's Day?

No, she has not yet.

Damn, that is good to throw this on here.

Oh, sriracha?

When do you think sriracha was actually founded?

Was it like within the last ten years?

Apparently that town is, like, in----ing ruins.

- Why? - Because it gets in the air.

- From emissions. - Because it's so spicy.

They cough and, like, they're teary-eyed all day long.

So it's kind of created a toxic situation.

- Literally. - Kind of like our town.

In a more non-metaphorical way, yes.

What the [BLEEP]?

Why is JT adding his little two cents in there?

I got so much sh--, you know, going on,

the last thing I need is, like, you also, you know,

chiming in like a little mosquito in my ear.

I'll make something tomorrow morning, scramble.

Unless, you know, JT is like, are you a good cook?

We welcome the third party.

Do you want to wake up in the morning?

Do you want--do you want to do anything?

Because if not, Craig and I will make a scramble.

I would love to stir the pot. I'm quite the chef.

Seriously?

Well, I think tonight, I'm more of a sous chef.

I'm going to go ahead and pass this stirring of the pot

over to my actual chef for the evening.

Wow.

I mean, I was going to enjoy my mac and cheese with Sriracha.

But I told JT some things I wanted to talk about tonight,

and that's what he's talking about.

Okay.

So I'm just going to be blunt.

Let me wipe the peas off my face and listen up.

You know, I've heard that

Olivia and you hung out on Thursday.

And then I was out with a girlfriend of mine.

And she came over later. So what?

She told me that there was a bra on the ottoman.

- [chuckling] Wow. - And she called it out.

Wait, what? Whose bra?

[dramatic music]

So I'm just gonna be blunt, you know?

I've heard that Olivia and you hung out on Thursday.

And then I was out with a girlfriend of mine.

And she came over later. So what?

She told me that there was a bra on the ottoman.

- [chuckling] Wow. - She called it out.

Wait, what? Whose bra?

Hey, brah. Who's brah?

Olivia got comfy and took her bra off.

- Comfy? - Yeah. I believe him.

- You take your shoes off. - Yeah.

And she'll tell you that.

She put her comfies on. Nothing happened.

We cuddled a little bit, she gave me a big, old hug,

she kissed me right on the chest,

and she----ing left.

I think you guys should talk in private.

Yeah. I mean, I do too.

Come on, come on, come on. Let's go outside, Rod.

[tense dramatic music]

- Sweet Jesus. - I've had enough, dude.

Why are you so worked up again?

We've had enough of that.

Like, I've had enough of him

getting away with murder in this friend group.

Olivia was just as guilty as Austen.

Women aren't these, like, helpless----ing sex creatures.

You don't stand up and hold this guy accountable.

And you're standing up for him? - No. You're worked up.

You are.

I am worked up 'cause he's not going to stop doing this.

You're causing a disturbance in the force.

JT doesn't realize how Austen can't be accountable.

And honestly, I want Austen to change

or see the error of his ways, but that will never happen.

I think your message

is getting a little bit lost in your delivery.

That's all I'm saying.

- Look, I was severely - ing hoping that

you and I were going to be able to, like,

actually speak together.

The last couple of days, I let my imagination go.

And I was like, "In what world do they not make out?"

Well, I have nothing to hide.

And sure, it brought back some, like, feelings.

But, like, I can't answer you why she did it.

♪

You know, I just want him to admit that they did more

and I want him to take ownership and accountability

for his actions and his words

and realize that he's hurting a lot of other people.

That's not what being a gentleman is about.

It's her prerogative if she wants to go

to an old friend's house while we're not officially together.

But you've got to realize, like,

it's not easy to watch someone I like get closer with her ex.

Rod, what do you think it's like for me, man?

What do you think it's like for me, though?

Rod, I'm going to tell you right now,

I am not trying to get her back.

'Cause I would just hurt her again.

[exhales deeply]

I've heard the story, and I haven't believed it.

Just tell me the truth if you made out.

No. That's not what it was.

Like, I don't know what to tell you, man.

Like, if you want to be, you know,

ing head over heels for someone that--

[mysterious suspenseful music]

♪

I am not getting in the way of it.

I hear you.

- And-- - I hear your sub-tone as well.

- Rod's not Olivia's boyfriend. - He has feelings for her.

Rod doesn't have any claim over Olivia.

Did you know that he hooked up with Olivia?

He didn't hook up with Olivia.

Does he owe anybody an explanation on that?

Am I literally talking to just--what am I doing?

- No. - I'm going to just--

But he didn't hook up with Olivia.

She had-- her bra was on the chair.

I know that we're not boyfriend-girlfriend.

But like, there is a chemistry there that's real.

Dude, I'm not against you, Rod.

I don't want to see it, but... - Yeah.

- I'm not trying to, like... - I get that.

You know, sabotage it.

I'm just--just, like, trying to change aspects in my life.

That's why I decided to pursue therapy.

- Yeah. - And that is it.

That's, like, the long and short of it.

I'm not trying to rush into anything.

I've done that before.

What's your plan of action here?

[dramatic music]

Honestly, going to sleep on it.

I'm a mature adult. I will have a conversation with her.

I will listen to what she says and we'll go from there.

And who knows?

♪

Still to come on this season of "Southern Charm."

Yes, man!

Oh. Whoo!

[upbeat steel drum music]

♪

I'd like to say I hope that you're all having a good time.

Thank you, Craig, for making this happen.

I'm in Jamaica.

[all cheering]

♪

[all cheering]

We wish that Paige was here, of course.

I want a wife and a family.

Ugh.

A happy Madison is a good Madison.

I would love to have a baby, but I remember bed rest.

That's nowhere to be.

Pissed-off Shep is something

that happens for two seconds, it's over.

You don't give a [BLEEP] about anyone except for yourself.

Single Taylor is a dangerous woman.

- [laughs] - I love you.

I would marry you tomorrow.

- I love the all-white. - White. I get it.

It can be a pain in the ass when you spray tan.

Is this how we go from balcony to balcony

and just party?

Miss Kissing Bandit last night.

Do you want me to say that he----ed me?

That is what happened.

Let's put a ring on it.

[crying]

That is not your best friend.

I have to leave town. I feel trapped.

I literally have the master book

on how to make you----ing cry.

Guess what? Do it again!

A lot of people say

that conspiracies are dangerous,

but knowing the truth is never dangerous.

♪ Ba-ba-doo