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1
00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,612
So you can shoot
free throws better than me.
2
00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:04,874
Fine. Whatever.
Big deal.
3
00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:06,223
That's all
you've got on me.
4
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,138
Can you stop a ceiling
fan with your head?
5
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,922
I didn't think so.
6
00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,402
And look at this.
7
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,535
My Popsicle's like
twice the size of yours.
8
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:14,623
What a score.
9
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:15,711
I am totally...
10
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,191
Reese.
11
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,108
Oh.
12
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,110
Never mind.
13
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:26,983
♪ Yes, no, maybe
14
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,290
♪ I don't know
15
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:32,293
♪ Can you repeat the question?
16
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,643
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
17
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,167
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
18
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,343
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
19
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,519
♪ And you're not so big
20
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:44,174
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
21
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:46,176
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
22
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:48,570
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
23
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:51,312
♪ And you're not so big
24
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:56,056
♪ Life is unfair.
25
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,885
Jamie, how can you
enjoy this processed food?
26
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:02,540
This is nothing like
you'd eat out in the wild.
27
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,933
I did it!
28
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,500
I got my learner's permit.
29
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:06,805
I can drive anywhere
with an adult.
30
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,242
And the adult does not
31
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:09,330
have to be visible
from the outside.
32
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:10,766
I checked.
33
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,072
Everyone taking the test
was trying to copy off him.
34
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:15,118
Wow, Mom's actually
proud of me.
35
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,120
It's kind of nice to finally
have my moment in the...
36
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,165
Dewey?!
37
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,080
Oh, my God!
38
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,778
Is this what
it looks like?
39
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,823
Yes, Mom.
This is a friend.
40
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,608
His name's Noah.
41
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:29,263
Oh, Noah, it is such
a pleasure to meet you.
42
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:32,266
I can't tell you
how thrilled I am...
43
00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,745
Mom.
44
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:36,052
If we seem too excited,
we're going to spook him.
45
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,576
So as far as you're concerned,
this is just another day.
46
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,188
Come on, Noah.
47
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:42,711
Dewey?
48
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,236
Okay, I'm done now.
49
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,805
HAL:
Honey, come on out here.
50
00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:51,241
I have
a surprise for you.
51
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:56,725
What is this?
52
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,292
It's a hot tub, Lois.
53
00:01:58,335 --> 00:01:59,858
Are you out of your mind?
54
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,425
We can't afford a hot tub.
55
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,079
That's what I said, too,
56
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,995
but then the sales guy
showed me how wrong I was.
57
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,170
Boys, get out here!
58
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:10,042
Hal, I can't believe
you did this without me.
59
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,393
You know we always make these
kinds of decisions together.
60
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,003
It was an in-store promotion.
61
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,787
We got 20% off
62
00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:17,615
on the spot.
63
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,443
Plus a tub club card,
plus free caulking.
64
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,097
And that's where they kill you,
Lois-- the caulking.
65
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,185
Hal...
66
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:22,881
MALCOLM:
A hot tub.
67
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,274
Sweet.
68
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,407
This is just what
it's like here.
69
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,322
We're always getting
great stuff like hot tubs.
70
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:29,323
Hal, you're taking it back.
71
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:30,454
What about the boys?
72
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:31,847
Don't they get a say in this?
73
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,588
Yeah, Mom, it'll be great
74
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:34,850
for entertaining.
75
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,330
No, they do not get
a say in this
76
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,201
because we are
not keeping it.
77
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,247
Well, we're...
kind of locked in.
78
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,466
We're what?
Lois, you
don't get
79
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:45,295
deals like this
without making a commitment.
80
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,558
It's zero
percent interest.
81
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,995
If you factor in inflation,
it's almost like
82
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,388
they're paying us
2,800 bucks.
83
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,825
$2,800!
84
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,566
I can't
believe you!
85
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,351
You went behind my back,
86
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:58,874
you spent money you had
no right to spend to buy a pile
87
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,397
of lumber
and tubes.
88
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:01,920
Don't worry.
89
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:04,096
It has very detailed
assembly instructions,
90
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,883
which I won't go anywhere near
because Malcolm's doing it.
91
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:08,753
I don't mind.
92
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,289
The baby's head
was in the sun.
93
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,292
Otto, what are you doing?
94
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,119
I am posting
the new safety rules.
95
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:29,861
There have been far
too many senseless accidents.
96
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:33,169
People will have
no excuse not to be safe.
97
00:03:56,801 --> 00:04:00,501
Francis! You wouldn't believe
what happened-- I almost...
98
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,115
Otto! Oh, my God!
99
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,943
You okay?!
100
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,731
Manfred Schmidt.
101
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,560
Did I tell you?
102
00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,867
You just can't have
a care in the world
103
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,346
when you're in a hot tub.
104
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,132
It's like a trip back
to the old amniotic sac.
105
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,527
Jamie's going to be
asleep for another hour.
106
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,355
Do you think
I could borrow your car
107
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,878
for a quick trip
to the Lucky Aide?
108
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,488
I'll drive!
109
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,577
Oh, no, I'll be
fine, really.
110
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:34,448
You all look
so comfortable,
111
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,492
and it's really
just...
112
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:36,450
Not a problem at all.
113
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,799
I got the keys. Let's go!
114
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,107
Honey, take a load off.
115
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,544
No, thanks.
116
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,545
Since now
you've decided
117
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:45,546
we're a family
where everyone
118
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:46,590
does whatever
they want,
119
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,591
what I want is to
120
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,941
not be in the hot tub.
121
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,335
These jets are great.
122
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,684
I couldn't hear
a word she said.
123
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,687
And if you
really listen,
124
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,689
everything has
its own vibration.
125
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,430
The trees and the grass...
126
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:01,953
I mean, it's like
the whole world
127
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,172
is screaming sometimes.
128
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,739
But you know, you can
get one of those
129
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:07,481
white noise machines
and really crank it...
130
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:08,482
Oh, stop here.
131
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:09,787
What about the drugstore?
132
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:11,311
I just need
to grab something.
133
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,362
This is cool. I get to drive.
134
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,190
Plus, I got to know
Polly a little bit better.
135
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:24,367
It turns out she hasn't
had a TV in 12 years,
136
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:27,631
and instead of chemicals,
her dry cleaner uses tea.
137
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:30,373
Okay, but the driving
is still cool.
138
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,505
Go! Go! Go! Go!
What?
139
00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:33,289
I said go!
140
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,605
What did you do?Malcolm, just give me
a second to explain.
141
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:45,997
I didn't
do anything wrong.
142
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,478
Trust me--
we're not in any danger.
143
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:50,045
Then take your foot off the gas!
144
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,051
Okay, what
did you take?
145
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,095
What is that thing?
146
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,314
This is mine.
147
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,055
It belongs to me.
148
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:03,058
My ex-boyfriend Danny took it
and he wouldn't give it back,
149
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,799
and this happens
to be my mother.
150
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:05,974
Your what?
151
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:07,541
My mother's in here.
Her ashes.
152
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,456
I meant to get her a nicer urn,
153
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,415
but they just raised my tuition
at the Wicca School.
154
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,765
So why couldn't you just
ask the guy for the ashes?
155
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,288
I don't think that would be
156
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,986
a really good route
to go with Danny.
157
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,596
He's a very troubled man.
158
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,599
What?
Please don't tell
your parents, okay?
159
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:25,559
I need you to keep
this between us, please?
160
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,473
I love Jamie,
161
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,213
and he loves me,
162
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,607
and I'd be crushed
if I couldn't see him.
163
00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:32,479
Literally.
164
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:35,264
Emotions can
compress organs, Malcolm.
165
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,571
So can you help me out on this?
166
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,442
Fine.
167
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,313
This is weird.
168
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:42,619
All I keep thinking is,
169
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:45,622
it is so cool
that I'm driving.
170
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,668
Francis, have
you seen Otto?
171
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,060
What's the matter?
172
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,932
I don't like letting
him out of my sight.
173
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,716
He's been
so accident-prone.
174
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,110
In the past few days,
he smashed up both our cars.
175
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,851
He keeps falling down
the stairs.
176
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,635
This morning,
he set his hair on fire
177
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,463
with his reading glasses.
178
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,509
Gretchen, my love,
I wonder if you can
179
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,075
fetch the tweezers.
180
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:06,904
I seem to have an
ass-full of cactus.
181
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,603
Otto, it was just
beginning to heal.
182
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,519
Well, I'm sorry. It's not like
I'm doing this on purpose.
183
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,868
Ooh...
184
00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:14,869
Francis, I'm afraid
185
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,348
I'm doing this on purpose.
186
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:17,611
What,
hurting yourself?
187
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:18,916
I don't know.
It doesn't seem
188
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,528
like all of these things
could be accidents.
189
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,051
It's like
there is some
190
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,967
subconscious drive to punish
myself for some unknown...
191
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,539
Otto, what does the name
Manfred Schmidt mean to you?
192
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:35,629
I haven't thought
about him for years.
193
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,632
I'm... oh, oh...
194
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:39,937
What?
195
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,766
Manfred Schmidt
is Gretchen's fiancé.
196
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:46,161
Well, he was, until I stole her.
197
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,641
You stole Gretchen?
198
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,556
He was my best friend,
199
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,775
but I was in love
with Gretchen, too.
200
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:52,776
And on the day
201
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,517
they were going to elope,
202
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:58,434
I told Manfred that
Gretchen had already gone
203
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,698
and that she would meet him
at the train station in Berlin.
204
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,004
Oh, Otto.
205
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,919
Poor Gretchen stood
in the rain for hours,
206
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:05,963
devastated.
207
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,312
And then
I came along
208
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,663
and I comforted her, and, uh,
209
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,708
one thing led
to another thing, and, uh...
210
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:15,582
well, here we are--
25 years of perfect love...
211
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,714
built on a lie.
212
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,934
Otto, this is obviously
tearing you up inside.
213
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,327
Why don't you just call
this guy and apologize
214
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,416
before you really
end up hurting yourself?
215
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,027
Francis, I don't think
I have the courage.
216
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,463
Besides,
217
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,813
now that I know
what is behind it,
218
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,381
maybe the problem will go away.
219
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,297
Those are thumb tacks.
220
00:08:36,645 --> 00:08:38,126
DEWEY:
Dad.
221
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,389
Noah and I were supposed
to play together,
222
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,825
but when I got
to his house,
223
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,479
he wasn't there.
224
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,960
I waited for an hour,
but he never showed up.
225
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,614
Don't be so negative.
226
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:50,486
Maybe he got hurt and was
taken to the hospital,
227
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,401
or maybe
his grandmother died.
228
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,797
NOAH:
...and then my guy
parachutes in
229
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,581
and shoots your guy.
230
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,061
Oh! I'm cold!
231
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,628
I'm so cold!
232
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:05,849
LOIS:
Oh, come on, Jamie.
233
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:06,763
Here comes the airplane.
234
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,069
Come on, say "ah."
235
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,723
Boy, you know,
I think the tension
236
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,507
in my neck
was dulling my taste buds.
237
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,769
These hamburgers
are amazing, honey.
238
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:13,988
Well, thank you.
239
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,424
And even with the cheese,
240
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,295
it came in for less
than $2,800.
241
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,993
Who has the mustard?
242
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,299
I don't know.
Maybe Reese stole it.
243
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,040
Like he steals everything.
244
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,955
Well, maybe the mustard
likes me better.
245
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,175
Maybe the mustard
and I have more fun.
246
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,829
You totally stole Noah from me!
247
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,396
Whoa, you can't just
change subjects on me.
248
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,224
We were talking
about mustard.
249
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,878
I was talking about Noah.
250
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,837
Oh, man, what
a great kid.
251
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,490
It's like having a little
brother, you know?
252
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,101
He was so proud
of me when I
253
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,233
beat the crap out of
Craig Jansen for him.
254
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,670
It was a nice moment.
255
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:46,107
LOIS: Malcolm, how
was your drive today?Fine.
256
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,413
Just went to the Lucky Aide
and back, that's it, huh?
257
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:49,240
Yeah.
258
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,720
LOIS:
The Lucky Aide
259
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,766
is only two and a half
miles each way,
260
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:55,682
yet the odometer mysteriously
gained 23 miles.
261
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,990
Okay, well, after
I dropped Polly off,
262
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,992
I took the car by
myself. I'm sorry.
263
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,907
I was just so excited,
264
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,040
and I wanted to show off,
so I drove around the mall.
265
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,868
Well, thank you
for being honest with me.
266
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,348
Now give me the permit.
267
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,698
What?!
Two months
without driving.
268
00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:12,916
But, Mom...
269
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,091
Because you were
honest with me,
270
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,484
I'm not going to
wad this up
271
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:16,572
and throw it down
the garbage disposal.
272
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,660
That's so unfair! Dad?
273
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,357
Malcolm, you know
I always agree
274
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,098
with your mother.
275
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:24,319
Whether or not she holds herself
to the same standard.
276
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,906
That's it!
277
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:49,300
I'm sick of all the noise
around here. Everybody out!
278
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,563
Hal, you're taking the boys
to the movies, now!
279
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:54,175
Everybody up.
Let's go, let's go!
280
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,140
HAL:
Well, I didn't
know the movie
281
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:04,402
was going to
be sold out.
282
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,926
I'll get the paper.
283
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,363
I didn't want to see
the dog movie anyway.
284
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:11,061
Well, whatever we see,
I have to be back by 7:00.
285
00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:13,542
Me and Noah are
ambushing Kevin Teevens.
286
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,892
Another one?
What are you, his enforcer?
287
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,807
It's called being a friend.
288
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:19,853
Okay, what do you boys
want to see?
289
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:23,160
I don't care. The real fun
is being driven there by my dad.
290
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,161
Come on.
291
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,815
Hey, what about
this one?
292
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,687
There's a review
right here.
293
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,970
Sounds good.
294
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,841
Let's go.
295
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,457
Ah.
296
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:18,259
Well, he's missing out
on a great cardio workout.
297
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:21,784
Malcolm, right?
298
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,786
Who are you?
My name is Danny.
299
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,266
I believe
you took something
300
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,616
that belongs to me.
301
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:34,797
What, did you think
I wouldn't find you?
302
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,407
Do you think you could
get away with this?
303
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:37,495
Do you think I'm stupid?
304
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,062
Do you think
this is fun for me?!
305
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,369
I don't know what
question to answer.
306
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:45,068
Aah! Sinus headache.
307
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,896
The pain makes me furious,
308
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,506
and the fury makes it
more painful,
309
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,509
and then you just black out
and you don't know what you did.
310
00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:52,684
How can I help you?
311
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,469
I want the urn
that Polly took.
312
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,036
You want her
mother's ashes?
313
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:58,821
She told you
her mother's in there?
314
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,084
My father's in there.
315
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:03,608
My father, who I loved,
316
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,089
who went cold-turkey
for my graduation.
317
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,483
That's whose ashes
are in there.
318
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:11,181
Oh. Well...You are going to
give me that urn.
319
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,053
I know where you live.
320
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,837
So listen up.
321
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,448
I'm going to go get
an allergy shot.
322
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:18,928
And right after that,
323
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,452
I'm coming over to your house
for the ashes.
324
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:28,111
Well, look at the giant
surprise that happened here.
325
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,634
You want to tell me
326
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,201
this wasn't a huge
waste of money now?
327
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:33,638
Every tub has
a break-in period.
328
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,902
It's just adjusting
to our natural body chemistry.
329
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,469
There's a six-inch
crust of algae.
330
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,515
The tub is fine.
331
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:54,616
See? Absolutely perfect.
332
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,018
You lied to me.
333
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,149
What do you mean?
334
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:07,368
I just met Danny,
and he says
335
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,065
his father's ashes
are in that urn.
336
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,458
Well, yes, they are.
337
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,112
So you lied.
338
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,288
No, the truth is, it's
my mother's ashes,
339
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,812
his father's ashes,
the springer spaniel
340
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,901
that we bought together and
a cat I had before I met him.
341
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,904
What?!
You know how when you
move in with somebody,
342
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:25,038
you-you mix up your
plates and your CDs...
343
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,954
Look, he was acting
really, really scary.
344
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,173
Like psycho dangerous scary.
345
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:32,132
Just tell me,
do I need to be worried?
346
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,177
Oh, no. No.
347
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,483
Yes.
348
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,311
Oh, God. All right.
349
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,356
I've got to think.
350
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,576
I'll think of something.
351
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,796
I couldn't think of anything.
352
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,887
We're out of the city;
you can turn on the headlights.
353
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,411
Okay, his plane
landed an hour ago.
354
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,803
He should be
here any minute.
355
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,153
Manfred Schmidt.
356
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:55,155
What if the fire
is still there
357
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:56,069
between him and Gretchen?
358
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,548
Come on, Otto,
359
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,985
you know how much
Gretchen loves you.
360
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:01,857
I can do this.
361
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,033
I will go get Gretchen.
362
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,039
Thank you very much.
363
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,432
Uh, please...
364
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:12,868
make sure my chef
finds the kitchen.
365
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,435
Mr. Schmidt, welcome.
366
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,176
Did you have
a nice flight?
367
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,525
Ah, yes, thanks.
368
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,005
When you fly your own jet,
369
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:21,355
it always makes the time
go so much faster.
370
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:24,184
Uh, did your wife
come with you?
371
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:25,750
Oh, I never married.
372
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,318
After Gretchen broke my heart,
I just couldn't.
373
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,147
Every day I think
of what might have been,
374
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:35,021
and now-- thanks to you--
what still could be.
375
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,893
Do you think she likes
giant diamonds?
376
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:43,029
Uh... look, there's been
a change in plans.
377
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,769
Gretchen isn't here.
378
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:46,206
I'm afraid she stood you up.
379
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,251
What?
She said she
wasn't interested.
380
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:49,774
And then she disappeared.
381
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:50,862
Tough break.
382
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:53,082
I don't believe you.Seriously.
383
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,605
You know how flighty
Gretchen can be.
384
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,216
I didn't come
all the way from Germany
385
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:59,045
to be turned away
by some messenger boy.
386
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,917
I'm not leaving
until I see Gretchen.
387
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:18,194
Otto, why are you
being so mysterious?
388
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,805
What is this big
terrible secret?
389
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:21,893
Well...
390
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:29,075
Otto paid way too much
for these earrings.
391
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,511
Oh, Otto.
392
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,427
Okay, my mom says
I can stay for dinner.
393
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,210
Cool.
394
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,429
Oh, Dewey.
395
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:36,821
Noah's going to need
your chair.
396
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,041
He's not your friend, Reese.
397
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,304
Noah just made friends with me
to get to you.
398
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:44,264
And he's just using you
to beat people up for him.
399
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,743
Reese, take him out.
400
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,441
No, listen.
401
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:50,183
Last week, three kids
beat the crap out of him.
402
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:53,273
He's not tough enough to get
them back, but you are.
403
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,274
You already paid back
404
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,145
Kevin Teevens and Craig Jansen.
405
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,278
All that's left
is Todd Lemmon,
406
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:01,498
and I took care of him myself.
407
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,413
Here's a piece of his T-shirt.
408
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:07,287
Here's his retainer with part
of a tooth still on it.
409
00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:09,289
And here's my four-day
suspension slip.
410
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:11,117
Wow.
411
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,988
You really nailed him.
412
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:16,209
Thanks, Dewey.
Go to hell, Reese.
413
00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:19,299
Wait. So it's just over?
414
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:22,519
Is that all I was to you,
a couple of fists?
415
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:27,089
I have some guys you
can beat up for me.
416
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,873
It's too soon.
417
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:32,225
Are you positive Danny
won't go to our house?
418
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,487
I told him specifically
419
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,576
that he wouldn't find us
or the ashes there.
420
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,361
I just hope
he checks his messages.
421
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:39,971
Danny's not home!
422
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,280
That doesn't work
when he's in the car!
423
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,847
Let go! Let go!
424
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,589
What are you doing here?
425
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,243
I'm here to get what's mine.
426
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,592
You had no right to
take my father from me!
427
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,897
Oh, your "father"? Please.
428
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,116
When he was sick,
you made him live
429
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,336
in a junked-out car
in the backyard.
430
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:57,467
That was a Le Sabre!
431
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,121
Do you hear the way
she talks to me?
432
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,122
I'm just driving.
433
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,776
We had an agreement.
434
00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,952
We said the ashes would stay
right by the coffeemaker
435
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,128
and we'd all be
together. Forever.
436
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,217
You and me
and our dead ancestors and pets.
437
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,567
Then one day I come home
from drum circle
438
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,353
and you're gone
without even saying good-bye!
439
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,181
Danny, you're the one
440
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,617
who violated the agreement,
441
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,359
because you had to dominate
every moment
442
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:20,838
of my life.
443
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,275
You even had
to cut my hair.
444
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,493
And I don't like bangs!
445
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,931
Are you insane?
With your bone structure, you...
446
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,150
Never mind.
447
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,499
You're not taking my father.
448
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:30,544
You can't have my mother.
449
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,241
Give me the ashes.
450
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:33,764
I will not!
451
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,723
What are you do...?
Aah!
Malcolm!
452
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,507
No!
453
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,030
:
Oh!
454
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,424
I have heard enough of this.
455
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,557
I am sick of you people
screaming about the ashes
456
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,212
when it's clearly
not about the ashes.
457
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,388
It's not?
I think it is.
458
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,041
The problem
is your relationship.
459
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,782
And you're never
going to get past it
460
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:55,308
unless you start talking to
each other like human beings.
461
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,749
I-I guess I freaked out...
462
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:06,536
when you left me without
even saying good-bye.
463
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,059
I'm sorry about that.
464
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,888
We both know
it had to end.
465
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:13,848
I just couldn't face
hurting you.
466
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,111
You deserved better
from me.
467
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,331
Thank you.
468
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,984
You're welcome.
469
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:23,466
So if, uh, there's nobody else
back there,
470
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,208
I'm just gonna turn around
and go home.
471
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,297
You're a heart healer,
Malcolm.
472
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:30,212
I'm pretty sure
it's too late for you now,
473
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,955
but in the next life,
you're gonna really cash in.
474
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:42,877
I have to say, I've only
ever seen this on boats.
475
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,706
I'm gonna have to make
some phone calls on this one.
476
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:52,756
Go ahead and say it.
I know you're dying to.
477
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,631
Why do I always
have to be the fun killer?
478
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,372
What are you talking about?
479
00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,461
Do you know what it's like
to be the person
480
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:04,855
in charge of saying "no"
all the time?
481
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,466
I hate it.
482
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,338
Honey, we depend
on you for that.
483
00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,471
You're the one who keeps
us from killing ourselves.
484
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:14,256
Yes, but all I ever hear
is "Why can't we?"
485
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,693
and "You never let us."
486
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:19,696
Just once can't I
be the person
487
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,395
who gets to have
the fun, crazy idea?
488
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:25,963
You know what?
Absolutely.
489
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,356
Go ahead.
490
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,532
What do you have in mind?
491
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:34,102
Well, I can't come up with
something just on the spot.
492
00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,191
Okay. This should stunt
the algae growth.
493
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,324
This should burn off
your outer layer of skin.
494
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,282
And these pills
will gradually kill
495
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,458
what's lodged
in your urethra.
496
00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,333
It was a kidnapping situation
497
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,943
and it wasn't
our fault...
498
00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:50,553
Where's Mom and Dad?
499
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,728
They're not home yet.
500
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:53,295
Oh, my God, this is fate.
501
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,514
We said "knock, knock."
502
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,125
And this is the universe
saying, "Who's there?"
503
00:20:57,168 --> 00:21:00,259
If they ask, I was
here all night.
504
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:02,348
Oh, boys,
505
00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:04,654
your mom has
a really crazy idea
506
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,917
she wants to run by you.
Probably too crazy.
507
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,919
Lois?
508
00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:12,271
We are going to have ice
cream on the good china.
509
00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:17,145
Wow, that's crazy.
Oh, cool.
Are you sure?
510
00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:19,147
I told you!Wow.
35856
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