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1
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♪ Will you search through
the lonely earth for me
2
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:42,320
♪ Climb through the briar brambles
3
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,640
♪ I'll be your treasure
4
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,640
♪ I'm waiting for you
5
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,120
♪ I'm waiting for you. ♪
6
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,070
~ Hey. ~ Hey.
7
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,830
~ I phoned, left a message.
~ Oh, sorry, phone's on silent.
8
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,230
I went to Bishop's Farm
but you weren't there.
9
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,070
Yeah, I didn't really want to go
there again without Lance.
10
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,390
~ Is that why you've fallen out?
~ Kind of, yeah.
11
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,510
Sorry, that's my fault.
12
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,320
It's all right.
13
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,590
It was nice to meet Becky
the other night. She seems nice.
14
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,070
Yeah, cheers.
15
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,830
She's left me.
16
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,830
What? Why?
17
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,590
I'm not really sure.
18
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,120
~ Well, where's she gone? ~ Her mum's.
19
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,590
Is that my fault as well, then?
20
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,360
Probably.
21
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,880
Sorry.
22
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:06,350
~ What are you going to do?
~ About Becky or Lance? ~ Both.
23
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,750
I don't know. I'm thinking of
giving it all up.
24
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,280
What, detecting?
25
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,590
We're skint.
26
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:16,070
If I sell my detector I could
afford to take Becky away somewhere.
27
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,590
I've found my gold. Think I'm done.
28
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,590
Lance will be gutted.
29
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,840
Becky won't though.
30
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,270
~ Did you watch University Challenge
last night? ~ No.
31
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,830
But you always watch
University Challenge.
32
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,590
~ I don't know how to turn the TV on.
~ What?
33
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,120
~ Becky always turns the TV on.
~ Are you serious?
34
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,310
Three remote controls.
35
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,830
It's a complicated sequence
involving all three
36
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,590
~ and I never got to grips with it.
~ You need to get her back.
37
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:50,360
Yep, or I'll never get to
watch TV again.
38
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,070
Do you want to do a quick
sweep of this field, then?
39
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,310
No, I'm going to head off.
40
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,910
I've got to get to work.
41
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,590
See you later.
42
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,360
See you.
43
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,080
All right, Cliff?
44
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,680
~ Done them sprouts? ~ Yep.
45
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,750
Done them caulies?
46
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,360
Yep.
47
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:44,320
You see University Challenge
last night?
48
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,680
~ See what? ~ University Challenge.
49
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,830
Quiz show on TV?
50
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,120
Jeremy Paxman?
51
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,590
Done them spuds?
52
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,150
Yep.
53
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,670
Hello, Maggs.
54
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,070
Yeah. No, I'm at work.
55
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,640
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
56
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,270
Ted!
57
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:30,120
Is it all right if I knock off
once I've done them pomegranates?
58
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,680
Yep. OK.
59
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,120
Excuse me.
60
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,080
Excuse me!
61
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,640
Oh...sorry.
62
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,230
What properties
do the amethyst ones have?
63
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,310
Erm, erm, amethyst?
64
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,230
Erm, well, cleanse your chakras
65
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,550
and your aura.
66
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,830
General purpose spiritual cleanser.
67
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,320
Quite strong, like Swarfega.
68
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,110
And the moonstone?
69
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,830
Moonstone puts you in touch
with the moon -
70
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,720
strengthens your spiritual
relationship with the moon.
71
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,630
And the quartz?
72
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,590
Quartz...
73
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,640
gives you a...
74
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,120
.. mild sense of... paranoia.
75
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,070
Have you got anything shamanic?
76
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,070
Shamanic, shamanic,
shamanic, shamanic, sham...
77
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:02,270
Well, we've got a whole shamanic
section. It's just over here.
78
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,830
Loads of it.
79
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,070
Sorry.
80
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,550
I was longer than I thought.
81
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,070
~ Kept me waiting at the bank.
~ That's all right. How did it go?
82
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,590
No good.
They won't give me any more.
83
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,310
It's all about high street chains
these days.
84
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,710
~ No room for an independent like me.
~ So what does that mean?
85
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,590
I can't afford the rent.
I'm going to have to close up.
86
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,590
That was my last hope.
87
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,990
~ Tony has been offered a transfer
to another restaurant. ~ Pizza Hut?
88
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,310
Another Pizza Hut, yeah.
We'll move up north.
89
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,190
What about all your friends?
Your mum?
90
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,590
She'll have to come with.
91
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,070
Oh...
92
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,590
If only I could find
someone who'd give me a loan
93
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,830
just for a couple of months.
94
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,190
Well, I suppose...
95
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,590
~ Oh, Lance, really?
~ Well, no, I don't know if I can.
96
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,870
I mean, I'd have to run some numbers,
see what I can spare.
97
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,830
That would be so good of you.
98
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,070
It would only be for a couple of
months while I sort this all out.
99
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,310
The shop's starting to pick up.
It's been going really well.
100
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,070
~ Yeah? ~ Yeah, really well.
101
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,390
Have you sold much
while I've been gone?
102
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,120
Erm, just a green sky otter.
103
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,070
What about Tony?
Has he not got any savings?
104
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,720
Nah, not that he's told me about.
He spends it all on his skin.
105
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,910
Right.
106
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,310
You'd really save me
if you could, Lance,
107
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,830
and it would mean we could stay here
and I'd get to see you more often.
108
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:29,070
~ Well, I don't know if I can yet,
Maggs. I'll have a look. ~ Course.
109
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,880
I haven't got that much time
though, Lance.
110
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,710
Fancy a cuppa?
111
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,640
Go on, then.
112
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,710
Do you take sugar?
I can't remember.
113
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,590
Do I take sugar? You know I do. One!
114
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,640
Tea without sugar is vegetable soup.
115
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,950
That's right! I won't be a sec.
116
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,830
What does this do?
117
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,150
Oh, God. Hmm?
118
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,830
Oh, it's a...
119
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,590
spirit stick.
120
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,830
Yeah.
121
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,360
You...
122
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,560
.. hit spirits with it.
123
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,310
Come on, Becky. Please.
124
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,960
I feel like I'm in
a Richard Curtis film.
125
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,950
I told you not to come here.
I told you I'd phone you.
126
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,030
I lost my phone. I thought you
might have been trying to call.
127
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,590
That's bollocks.
I can see your phone.
128
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,470
~ I found it again.
~ Were there any messages from me?
129
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,710
~ No. ~ Right, well, I guess
I didn't phone you, then.
130
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,830
~ I sold my metal detector. ~ Really?
131
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,990
No, not yet, but I'm going to sell
it tomorrow. I got a quote from the
132
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,990
bloke in the shop and I'm definitely
going to sell it tomorrow.
133
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,070
And this is your big gesture -
your big romantic gesture?
134
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,790
I suppose it is. I thought
we could go away somewhere.
135
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,590
It's not about the detecting, Andy.
136
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,710
~ What's it about, then?
~ You really don't know!
137
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,400
No, I don't think I do.
138
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,230
~ This isn't what it looks like.
~ Really?
139
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,230
Because it looks like you
kissing Sophie in a field.
140
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,070
It's not. She kissed me.
141
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,110
Right. Like she was holding your
hand the other night in the pub.
142
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,310
Yes.
This... this isn't a romantic kiss.
143
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,510
~ This is a congratulations kiss.
~ Well, congratulations.
144
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,110
There's no tongues.
145
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,830
Uh! Please spare me.
146
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,070
Where did...? Did you take this?
147
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,590
No, I didn't.
148
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,950
I've got better things to do
than sneak around spying on you.
149
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,550
It was left on the doorstep.
150
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,430
I'm not sleeping with Sophie.
151
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,830
I didn't say you were sleeping
with Sophie.
152
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,230
I think you're getting
nice and friendly with Sophie
153
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,030
with a view to hopefully sleeping
with her in the near future.
154
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,790
~ No, that's not what I want.
~ What do you want?
155
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,640
You, Becks. I want you.
156
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,680
I don't know if I want you any more.
157
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,830
I've got to think. I need some time.
158
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,160
Please don't come round here
and don't phone me.
159
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,830
~ Do you...?
~ No. I'm all right, thanks.
160
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,800
I'm good for photos of you
kissing other women.
161
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,950
Going to keep it, are you?
Put it in your scrapbook?
162
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,080
No, I just... I didn't...
163
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,550
~ I don't want it in there, thanks.
~ Pardon?
164
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,960
I don't want it in my mum's bin.
165
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,390
~ Have you got a recycling bin?
~ Just take it with you.
166
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,800
Yeah, right, sorry.
167
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,800
Hello.
168
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,640
Hello.
169
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,310
How's it going?
170
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,640
Yeah, brilliant, yeah.
171
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,230
~ Have you spoken to Andy? ~ Who?
172
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,310
Oh, come on, Lance. What's going on?
173
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,590
Why aren't you two speaking?
174
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,640
~ Why do you think?
~ Because of the gold?
175
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,590
Look...
176
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,070
it used to be me and Andy, right.
177
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:41,640
This was our escape from the rude
world, from the madding crowd.
178
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:47,070
You know, we were quite happy
finding junk and talking bollocks
179
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,360
and then you come along
and throw a shoe in the works.
180
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,070
Do you know how often we find gold?
181
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,590
Never!
182
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,360
We never find it.
183
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,590
And that's what we're looking for.
We don't say that.
184
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,070
We don't say we're looking for gold.
185
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:08,590
We pretend we're happy, you know,
finding buckles and buttons
186
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,070
and crap,
but what we're hoping for...
187
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,670
is gold.
188
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,950
Find one piece of gold.
189
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,590
Something that's
been held by Saxon or...
190
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,880
Roman.
191
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:26,070
One of the other ancient peoples
that once roamed this land before us.
192
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:30,790
Me and Andy, well,
we've been detecting along time.
193
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,550
We must have been pulled a couple
of tons of metal out of this county.
194
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,310
Lead, bronze, copper, iron,
195
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,360
occasionally silver.
196
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,240
Never gold.
197
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,310
So when you buy a second-hand
metal detector
198
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,310
and go out for the first time
and find gold with my best friend,
199
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,310
yeah, yeah, I'll admit it,
200
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,470
I'm a bit jealous
because I wish I'd been there.
201
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,190
I didn't find it. Andy did.
202
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,590
~ You were his lucky charm, were you?
~ I don't know.
203
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,760
I didn't find it, I didn't plant it.
He found it on his own.
204
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,360
Yeah, I know.
205
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,190
I don't believe in lucky charms.
206
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,640
You wouldn't say that if you saw me
in Maggie's shop yesterday.
207
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,280
~ Yeah?
~ Quite the new age salesman, I was.
208
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,310
I didn't get to meet Maggie
the other day in the pub.
209
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,590
No, probably lucky.
210
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,590
She'd have fleeced you.
211
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,720
~ Yeah? ~ Yeah.
212
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,590
She's after a loan from me to pay
her rent and keep her shop open.
213
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,070
~ Did you give it to her? ~ No.
214
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,120
Well, didn't say I would,
didn't say I wouldn't.
215
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:52,310
If I don't, she'll move up north
and I'll never see her again.
216
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,150
What's her new bloke doing?
Why can't he bail her out?
217
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,720
~ Cause he's a cunt. ~ Gotcha.
218
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,830
Don't do it, Lance.
219
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,830
Don't lend her anything.
220
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,120
That's none of your business.
221
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,360
I know. Sorry.
222
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,640
Listen...
223
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,640
.. I've never admitted
this to anyone, but...
224
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,590
.. I really won the lottery
the day Maggie left me.
225
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,880
Right.
226
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,310
You mean, what,
you didn't realise at the time
227
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,510
but actually it was the best thing
that could have happened?
228
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,790
Pardon?
229
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,590
You mean that... it was a good thing.
230
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,120
What was?
231
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,310
~ Maggie leaving you? ~ Eh?
232
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,590
What did you mean then,
"I won the lottery?"
233
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,790
~ I won the lottery the day Maggie
left me. ~ Sorry, what do you mean?
234
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:56,110
What part of, "I won the lottery",
don't not understand?
235
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,310
~ You won the lottery? ~ Yes.
236
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,590
~ The National Lottery? ~ Yes.
237
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,070
~ How much? ~ Three hundred grand.
238
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,480
~ Shut up! ~ True.
239
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,310
November the fifth.
240
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,120
She said she was leaving, that
she'd met this bloke, and she left.
241
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:19,640
I was reeling. I didn't know what
to do so I went out for a walk...
242
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,590
.. and everywhere was lit up.
243
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,360
You know, firework night.
244
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,070
It was like everyone was
celebrating my misfortune
245
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,310
so I went into this offie
to buy a can,
246
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:35,070
but I only had a quid
so I bought a lottery ticket.
247
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,070
First one I've ever bought.
248
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,590
And, bam,
249
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,950
300K, thank you very much.
250
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,590
No way!
251
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,120
Yes way.
252
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,880
Never told anyone that before.
253
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,600
~ Can I borrow a tenner? ~ No.
254
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,070
Oh, God.
255
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,310
What?
256
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,800
It's them. The Everly Brothers.
257
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,110
Simon and Garfunkel.
258
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,640
Hello, there!
259
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,070
Ah...
260
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,270
We have good news!
261
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,870
Go on.
262
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,310
This land is now a site of
special archaeological interest.
263
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,070
Under the jurisdiction
of Colchester Museum.
264
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,310
And we, the Antique Researchers,
have been given sole permission
265
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,910
to detect on this land
as official affiliators of
266
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,070
and in accordance with the
North Essex Portable Antiquities...
267
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,310
All right, mate.
Jesus. Listen to yourself.
268
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,830
You sound like a dickhead.
Speak normally.
269
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,310
You no longer have permission
to detect on this land
270
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,590
under the Ancient Monuments and
Archaeological Areas Act 1979.
271
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,390
Still sound like a dickhead.
Look like a dickhead as well.
272
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,230
~ Immature as usual. ~ Dickhead.
273
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,640
All right. Let's go.
274
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,150
Too late, mate.
They're pushing us out.
275
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,830
~ They've got sole permission.
~ Did you take this photo?
276
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,390
No.
277
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,840
~ Well, you haven't even seen it yet
so obviously you did. ~ What is it?
278
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,080
Phil, you bastard.
279
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,310
~ Phil? ~ Phil? ~ Is your name Phil?
280
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,430
~ How did you know his name was Phil?
~ I thought it was Art. ~ Why Art?
281
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,360
~ Shut the fuck up, Paul.
~ What's going on?
282
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,950
~ Do you want to tell them?
~ Not really.
283
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,150
Wait, are you an Antique Researcher?
284
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,310
~ Was. ~ Was?
285
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,430
They asked me to keep an eye on you.
286
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,110
Jesus, this is like the worst ever
episode of Scooby-Doo.
287
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,070
~ Hello, there! ~ Oh, here we go.
288
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,830
I see you've met.
289
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,710
Exciting news, eh?
290
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,830
The MoD have finished their survey
291
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:45,070
and the archaeology bods
are arriving at the weekend,
292
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:49,150
opening up a couple of trenches,
having a look see what they find.
293
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,470
Super.
294
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,030
And I understand you chaps
are helping them out.
295
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,030
No, these chaps are.
We've been pushed out.
296
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,830
~ What? Why? ~ Do you remember
I told you about the rogues?
297
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,990
Well, these are they.
298
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,830
And she was the mole.
299
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:06,760
~ Andy. ~ She spied on us and passed
the information on to these chaps.
300
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,590
Oh, come on.
301
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,830
You're all metal detectors.
302
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,920
Detectorists!
303
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,000
~ Pub? ~ Go on, then.
304
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,270
Andy!
305
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,360
I'm sorry.
306
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,070
Did you see Fifteen To One?
307
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,640
No. I can't turn on the telly.
308
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,640
~ Not the same. ~ I know.
309
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,360
~ I miss William G Stewart. ~ Yeah.
310
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,590
Yeah, I like Toksvig, but, you know,
311
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,070
she's always cracking jokes.
312
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,310
William G never cracked jokes.
313
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,830
Very rarely.
314
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,590
And when he did they weren't funny.
315
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,880
Yeah, there's no room for humour
on Fifteen To One.
316
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,590
You know, I knew there was
something I didn't like about her.
317
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,640
Sold us down the river.
318
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,640
~ It's that new detector she bought.
~ Had it for years probably.
319
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,590
~ And Bishop's Farm? ~ Gone.
320
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,070
Bugger.
321
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,830
Well, personally, I'm withdrawing
my bid to become Club President.
322
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,470
Yeah, likewise.
323
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,550
So who's going to lead us, then?
I'm not bloody doing it.
324
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,910
To be honest, Russ, I think the days
of the DMDC are numbered.
325
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,550
~ But we've still got half a jar
of coffee left. ~ You take it.
326
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,880
We're... we're not going
to disband, are we?
327
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,590
Well, I'm going to go independent.
328
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,590
Go it alone.
329
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,640
Like the Lone Ranger?
330
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,310
A bit like the Lone Ranger,
Hugh, yeah.
331
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:06,830
~ What about you, Andy? ~ I'll probably
go it alone as well, with Lance.
332
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,360
~ Like Tonto?
~ No, Hugh. Not like Tonto.
333
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,550
~ Terry, you're back!
~ Can't keep a good man down, Russell.
334
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,590
~ How's the leg?
~ Oh, a bit stiff, but on the mend.
335
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,550
The doctors said he will back
at Flamenco in a month.
336
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,070
Well, we'll see, love.
Don't want to rush things.
337
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,110
Hang on, where's the finds table?
338
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,830
~ We couldn't find it.
~ Oh, well, that's just great.
339
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,790
That is indicative of the whole
attitude of this club, isn't it?
340
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:40,030
I'm away for a week
and everything falls apart.
341
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,430
I mean, why couldn't you use
that table or that one?
342
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,950
~ We always use the same table.
~ Nothing to put on it anyway, Tel.
343
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,070
Nothing?
Nobody's found anything this week?
344
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:53,830
~ We were telling everyone.
We've lost Bishop's Farm. ~ Who to?
345
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,830
The Essex Archaeological Society,
Ministry of Defence,
346
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,590
the Antique Researchers,
you name them.
347
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:03,350
We're the only people in the county
that aren't allowed on the land.
348
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,990
~ And where's Sophie?
~ Gone to the other side.
349
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,830
~ Dead? ~ No, she has defected.
350
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,830
Or rather it turns out she was
always on their side. She was a spy.
351
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,640
Bitch!
352
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:20,550
Well, I hope that teaches you not
to make decision with your dicks!
353
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,990
You let her join.
354
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,670
~ I wasn't talking about you, Louise.
You haven't got a dick. ~ Huh. Sexist.
355
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:29,550
You should see him
in his Flamenco outfit. Oh!
356
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,350
Sexist, Sheila. Not sexy.
357
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,750
So, have you decided
on a new president?
358
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,070
Sort of lost the enthusiasm really,
Terry.
359
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,630
Sorry, Telly.
360
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:43,280
Well, that's it, then. The end of
the Danebury Metal Detecting Club.
361
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,070
~ Is this the metal detecting club?
~ You're too late, mate.
362
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,830
We're not accepting any new members.
In fact, we're disbanding the club.
363
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,910
But thank you for your interest.
364
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,070
Delivery for Lance Stater.
365
00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:00,030
Oh, I ordered those fleeces,
didn't I?
366
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,590
~ What fleeces? ~ As part of my bid
to become Club President,
367
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,590
I ordered fleeces with the DMDC logo
embroidered on them.
368
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,590
~ Shall I bring the rest in, then?
~ There's more?
369
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,320
Four more boxes.
370
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,830
Yeah, I had to get 150
to get the discount on them.
371
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,590
Hey, they're all right, these.
372
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,120
Camouflage! What else?
373
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,590
So, what are you going to do
with them?
374
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,030
Erm... we could share them.
375
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,790
21 each?
376
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,310
No.
377
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:37,430
Come on. We can't disband this club.
Not now we got fleeces.
378
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,430
I am withdrawing my resignation,
379
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,270
taking back the Presidency.
380
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,590
Let's breathe some new life
into this club.
381
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,310
We'll have an open day, fundraiser,
382
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,030
recruitment drive.
383
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,910
We'll get new members,
put them in club fleeces
384
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,590
and get out there
385
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,590
looking for the history that
is buried underneath our feet.
386
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,920
What do you say?
387
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,760
I can't hear you!
388
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,710
~ OK. ~ Yeah, all right.
389
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,470
That's more like it.
390
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,470
Would you like us to lift you
onto our shoulders now?
391
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,640
Oh, not with my leg, no.
392
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,400
Give him a week.
393
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,590
Becky, it's me.
394
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,590
I know you told me not to phone
but I couldn't help it.
395
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,350
I need you back.
396
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,070
I can't turn on the telly.
397
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,070
That's not the reason.
398
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,590
I was saying that to be cute.
399
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,830
I'll learn how to turn on the telly.
400
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,070
I could probably work it out
if I tried hard enough.
401
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:37,590
But I'm going to try really hard,
not with the telly,
402
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,590
you know, I'm going to try harder
with everything,
403
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,590
with us and everything.
404
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,590
I'm going to sell my detector
and I know I already said that
405
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,070
I had sold it or I was going to,
but I didn't get around to it,
406
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,150
but I'm going to sell it tomorrow
or the next day definitely.
407
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,310
You can count on me.
I'm going to change.
408
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:58,640
I really want this.
409
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,590
I want to have this...
410
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,830
chance to...
411
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,830
start again.
412
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,070
I'm going to pull my finger out
and my socks up
413
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,640
and myself together and we can...
414
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:16,070
I need you, Becky.
415
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,440
I'm nothing without you.
416
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,640
I can't even turn on the telly.
417
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,760
Brilliant. That's sorted, then.
418
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,310
There they are.
419
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:35,790
Bastards.
420
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,030
Who?
421
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,590
Simon and Garfunkel
detecting the spoil heap.
422
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,830
Damn it! Imagine what
we're missing down there.
423
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,880
My gold was only a few inches
under the surface.
424
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,640
What are you going to do with that?
425
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,310
~ I was going to give it to Becky.
~ Nice gesture.
426
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,590
It would be if she was
talking to me.
427
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,640
She still not answering your calls?
428
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,310
~ Can I tell you something private?
~ Becky's pregnant. ~ What?
429
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:10,590
~ How did you know that?
~ So you finally figured it out.
430
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,590
~ Who told you?
~ No-one told me. It was obvious.
431
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,310
How is it obvious?
432
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:18,590
Well, she hasn't been drinking
and we all know Becky likes a drink.
433
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,830
You said she was sick every morning
even though she hadn't had a drink
434
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,590
and she went to be on her own
435
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,590
when it looked like you were
wavering your devotions to her.
436
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,470
All the signs were there, mate.
How did you figure it out?
437
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,720
I found the box from a pregnancy
test in the bathroom bin.
438
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,840
God, I'm an idiot!
439
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,640
Got to go and get her back.
440
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,320
Yeah, you're right.
441
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,590
Not right now, though.
442
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,640
Rozzers have arrived.
443
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,590
What are they doing?
444
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,070
Probably just routine,
you know, police business.
445
00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,510
Oh, they're giving Simon and
Garfunkel their marching orders.
446
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:01,750
Yeah?
447
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,640
They're packing up. Homeward bound.
448
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,640
Oh. Bishop's down there.
449
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,590
Maybe we should go down there
and see what's afoot.
450
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,590
You know, grab a sneaky sweep
of the spoil heap?
451
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,830
Have you got your detector
in the car?
452
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,880
Pope shit in the woods?
453
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:23,640
Banzai.
454
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,590
~ Hello, Larry. ~ Hello, there!
455
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,070
What do you think of all this, then?
It's like the Battle of the Somme.
456
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,910
These trenches and mud
and god knows what.
457
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,590
~ What's happening?
~ Quite exciting, really.
458
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,070
~ First trench they put down, bones.
~ Really? ~ Really.
459
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:43,310
Right there. A grave. The history
chaps say they're looking for
460
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:46,630
a Saxon - I think they may have
found him straightaway.
461
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,590
There wouldn't be any bones
left in a Saxon grave Larry.
462
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,070
Saxon bones would have rotted away
a long time ago.
463
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,070
Why are the fuzz here?
464
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:57,590
Apparently, when bones are found,
the boys in blue have to be involved
465
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,350
until it's confirmed that
the remains are historical.
466
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,440
They're coming over now.
467
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,360
~ Mr Bishop? ~ Larry.
~ Do you recognise this, sir?
468
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,230
Good God.
469
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,310
~ That's Justine's wedding ring.
~ Laurence Michael Bishop,
470
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:14,750
I'm arresting you
on suspicion of murder.
471
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,590
You do not have to say anything
but it may harm your defence
472
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,830
if you do not mention
when questioned something you
later rely on in court.
473
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,670
Anything you do say may be given
in evidence. Do you understand?
474
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,590
Perfectly, thank you.
475
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,200
There's a turn up for the books.
Wasn't expecting that. Were you?
476
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,720
Keep an eye out for the dog,
will you, while I'm gone?
36396
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