All language subtitles for Checkered Flag Or Crash (1978).en

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(ENGINE REVS)

(ENGINES RUMBLE)

[ADAMS] You got dune buggy in a radio check.

[MAN] You're coming in loud and proud,
dune buggy.

(ENGINES REV)

Hold it, lady, where's your pass?

I'm C.C. Wainwright with Stratus Magazine,
I'm just trying

to get over there - Racing's over here,

you gotta go - No, look, I just wanna go

on over there!
- Come on, move yourself.

All right, all right.

(ENGINES REV)

Yeah?

Okay, what's the bad news?

God damn it, they promised me doctors

with those sweeper crews, not nurses!

You know that's one corner
we can't afford to cut!

Well how the hell am I
gonna cancel the race now?

All right, all right, listen,

it's nothing to get excited about.

Because I'm telling you it's
nothing to get excited about!

Now you go out and find me
an honest-to-God doctor,

and we'll put him up in that chopper.

You call me when it's done, hear?

All right.

Sounds like you got a serious problem.

Oh hi there, Miss, how are you?

C.C. Wainwright.

You're Bo Cochran?

Uh, yeah, yeah, that's aright.

Now you gotta forgive me, Miss Wainwright,

but you're so good-looking my life

flashed in front of my eyes
just like a drowning sailor.

Well don't worry,
all that hot air will hold you up.

(CHUCKLES)

What can I do for you?

I'm with Stratus Magazine.

Stratus?

Oh yeah, well you're the folks
I lined up Andy Madden with.

Well let me buy you a drink or something.

Annie--- No thanks.

You sure?

Well now, you're the C.C. Wainwright

that I've been corresponding with.

Oh, Andy's real happy with the deal

you and the magazine made with him.

Is he?
- Oh yeah.

Well, he ought to be,
you bought him the car.

It's gonna be a hell of a story, you know.

Yeah, how's it coming?

It isn't, I can't find him.

Well there's no place else he could be today,
he's--

Yeah, I know,
his car is in the impound area,

but I can't get in there.

Your people were supposed
to leave me passes.

Oh yeah, well I am sorry about that,

we've been awful busy around here, you know.

Well you got no problem now.

Let me ask you something,

what do you know about off-road racing?

I've done my homework.

Now what do I need to get
into the impound area?

Well, just me, really.
- Great, let's go.

Well now, hold it!

This is a, this race is a little special.

Let me show you.

Now this is the start of the race here,
all right?

50 motorcycles and cars
all lined up abreast.

And the start of the course
is in the parade ground here.

It's hot, fast and dry as hell.

Now at the end of the field,

just a few seconds for the racers,

they're gonna run into this bottleneck.

Now that's 50 motorcycles and cars

going flat-out, you understand?

And it all narrows down to
a space three cars wide.

And after that, three days of driving

and 1,000 more miles to go.

Should be interesting.

Should be a nightmare.

Your idea?
- Yep! (CHUCKLES)

Watch yourself now.

How about that, ain't that something?

Hey Christian! (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

You used to race stock cars, didn't you?

Ah, yeah, you've done your homework,
haven't you?

Yeah, Bo Cochran, the Crab Apple Cannonball.

(BO CHUCKLES)

That's Crabtree Cannonball.

Oh, sorry, what's a crab tree?

Oh, a little bitty town I came from,
Crabtree, TX.

Yeah, I was a Crabtree cannonball,
all right,

that's what I was.

Miss it?

Come on, I want you to meet somebody.

Hey!

Hey Doc!

[DOC] Yeah!

[BO] Hey Doc!

Howdy.

Got trouble?

No, no,
I'm just making a little adjustment here.

That's one less thing to go wrong.

Ah, want you to meet somebody.

This is C.C. Wainwright, Doc Pyle.

Oh hi, how you doing, Ms. Wainwright?

C.C.

Oh, okay, Doc.

I want you to be on good behavior, Doc.

Ms. Wainwright here is
gonna be covering the race

for the European press.

Oh really?

[BO] Yeah,
why don't you tell her a little something

about your car?

Well, it runs a lot better than it looks.

Now the most important thing about a car

is that it runs good, and...

I mean,
the best race car driver in the world

can't carry one of these
across the finish line,

you know what I mean?

(HOOD SLAMS)

What do you think of Walkaway's new car?

Uh...

It's got a lot of paint on it.

(BO CHUCKLES) You know?

The old hotshot's driving the big bucks now.

C.C.'s gonna be riding with him.

Oh.

Oh no.

Come here.

I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to take this
with you for good luck.

Aw, thanks, but I'm not superstitious.

But I am, and a girl as pretty as you

has got a hell of a lot to lose.

Could you do that?

He's better at this than you are.

Spirit?
- At trying to frighten me

out of going.

Oh, I'm not trying to scare you.

Believe me, here.

Well are you sure that you can spare it?

Yeah, I got plenty, thanks.

Good luck, Doc.
- Okay, Bo,

good to see you, buddy.

Well, I'll, I'll get this back to you later.

I hope so.

Thought you might find that interesting.

Doc and Madden used to be best friends,
you know.

And partners.
- Yeah.

Smell a story in there?

I heard all about that and
why he's called Walkaway.

Yeah, he's crashed so many
times and always walked away.

Well, gotta love him.

[BO] That's Madden, win or crash.

[C.C.] I got a story either way.

[BO] See this dude on the motorcycle?

[C.C.] Yeah.

[BO] Goddamn mean little monkey.

Name's Ringer.

Woohoo!
- Hey Bo, got a minute?

Introduce yourself to Madden,
I'm gonna help this fella.

(ENGINE REVS)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

[C.C.] Hi.

Hi.

C.C. Wainwright, Stratus Magazine.

Oh.

Well I don't have time to talk right now,

but go ahead and take all
the pictures you want.

I'm riding with you.

Say what?

[C.C.] I said I'm riding with you.

Who says so?

You did, you promised me an exclusive story.

Oh boy, somebody made a big booboo.

[C.C.] (chuckles) You did,
my magazine owns this car.

Hey.
- You're a girl.

Hoho, you are real fast, aren't you?

Look, I realize you got a job to do,

and I could use the company out there,
it's a little lonely,

but believe me, you just don't know

what you're getting yourself into.

I'm getting into this car.

No, wait, lady.

Nobody told you about me, did they?

I'm a wrecker.

Hey Bo!

Tell the lady I'm a wipeout artist.

Already have. (C.C. CHUCKLES)

Lady, I'm a crazy man,
you see, I just don't care!

You're locked in, Andy.

Look, libber, I'll tell you you'd have

to take care of yourself,
cause I sure as hell wouldn't.

You signed a contract.

Now it's a simple question of a yes or a no,

you either keep your word or you don't.

Yeah.

What's the roughest thing
ever happened to you,

what, a car wreck?

No, a plane crash in Cambodia.

You walked away from a plane crash?

(CHUCKLES) No, I ran.

Well that's about what
this race is gonna be like,

just 1,000 miles of plane crashes.

[C.C.] Which is it, yes or no?

All right, sweet cheeks,
you can join the parade.

When the bashing and the crashing starts

and the pain sets in,
you start puking all over yourself

and start begging me to
stop and let you out,

I want you to remember one thing.

I kept my word.

That's all that matters.
- No it isn't.

No it isn't.

You're not gonna listen to reason,
I'll tell you tough luck.

You can come as long as you can last.

Or until you crash.

Whichever comes first.

(ENGINES ROAR)

(CRASHING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

[BO] Ooh, holy shit!

Hey, there's a race old Walkaway won.

That's it.

Okay, that ought to cut together just great.

Hi P.J.
- Hi.

Hey, Parnelli, how you doing?

Come on in, take a look at my setup here.

This is all right.
- Yeah?

Well how about it,
you'd like to be out there

getting dirty again?

Hey, I'm itching to ride in that helicopter,

the pilot's gonna let me drive it.

Hey, look out now.

How do you like being a race promoter?

You busy enough?

Busy?

If I pull this one off,
I bet you I can run a war.

(DRIVERS CHATTER)

Serious about this thing, huh?

[ANNOUNCER] For car number 29.

Let's see, let's see, let's see.

[C.C.] What?

All right.

(ENGINES WHINE)

You better plug your ears.

Take two of these.

What are they?

Dramamine.

May keep you from throwing up.

(ENGINE REVS)

Probably won't, though.

(PATRONS CHATTER EXCITEDLY)

(AUDIENCE CHEERS)

[ANNOUNCER] 56 is still
looking for his mechanic.

56 is still looking for his mechanic.

(ENGINES RUMBLE)

(TRIUMPHANT MARCHING MUSIC)

Here they come,
the men and machines of the Manila 1,000.

And here to cover it all

for American television's Action World

is racing veteran Parnelli Jones!

[PARNELLI] Sitting here with me is the motor

of the Manila 1,000, Bo Cochran.

[BO] Now P.J., you're usually out there

eating dust with everybody else.

Lot of racers down there,
glad you're up here.

[PARNELLI] Seeing the course,
I'd have to say

I'm glad I'm up here too.

[BO] They look ready to you?

Ready as they're ever gonna be.

Running for $100,000 purse,
$50,000 to the winner,

another $50,000 to be
divided amongst the finishers

of the 1,000 mile race
of some of the roughest,

toughest country that I have ever seen.

[BO] How do you think of Newhub, car 18?

Didn't he run off a cliff

trying to pass you in a bottle race?

And it's good to see him back in action.

One of the most interesting
drivers in this Manila 1,000

is Christian Perrier,
a Grand Prix Formula One driver

here to do his first off-road race.

[BO] I wish I had a nickel
for every girl he's kissed

in the winner's circle.

And there's no doubt about who's in car 32,

Walkaway Madden.

What an impressive looking car.

[BO] Best man's ever had his hands on.

He says he's finally got
a car as good as he is.

There's Doc Pyle in that bucket of bolts.

You can just bet there's
a lot more under the hood

than meets the eye.

What in the world is that, Bo?

[BO] Told it'd be a taxi cab,
I call it a G.P.

Driver's a local favorite,
you ever seen anything like that?

[PARNELLI] (chuckles) Not sober.

[BO] They're waiting at
the starting line now,

pointing at that bottleneck
uniquely divined by yours truly.

And for some added excitement,
there's $5,000 up

for the first car through the bottleneck.

[BO] Yes sir,
I'm kinda proud of thinking up that idea.

[PARNELLI] You know, Bo,
some of the racers say

that the bottleneck is the
product of a twisted mind.

What do you say to that?

[BO] I say they're all

or mostly all professionals out there.

Professionals know what they're doing.

[PARNELLI] Then how come all these ambulance

and fire trucks?

[BO] I'm just taking
professional precautions.

And what else do you think, P.J.?

[PARNELLI] I think it's gonna be

a high speed demolition derby.

It's a barf bag, and when the time comes,

put it there and not my car.

I've gone fast before.

[ANDY] How fast?

165 in a Ferrari.

What, racing?

No, with a friend and a bottle of champagne.

[BO] There's a whole lot more

coming in the next three days.

This country's got everything,
jungles like Africa,

deserts like the moon,
rocky coastlines and mountains.

These racers are gonna see it all,

and in the worst heat and
humidity this side of hell,

right after that little bottleneck.

(BOOMING)

And there's the one minute warning!

Either walk or ride, baby. (CHUCKLES)

[BO] Yeah,
the motorcycle's greater speed off the line

puts them out front of everybody else,

but a fall or traction trouble
out in front of that pack

can be a very permanent mishap.

(ENGINES REV)

[PARNELLI] 30 seconds.

[BO] And here's some of those
motorcycle kamikazes, P.J.

That's Pits Mayfield and Ringer Jensen.

And there's LarryAdams in his dune buggy.

[PARNELLI] That fellow
there in the red leathers

is the Spanish motocross champion,
Paco Ramirez.

And who's the guy in the black there, Bo?

Dunno, refused to ID himself.

We got us a mystery rider.

(ENGINES REV LOUDLY)

(BOOMING) (TIRES SCREECH)

Hey, there they go!
- They're off, hello!

(TIRES SCREECH)

(ENGINES ROAR)

(CRASHING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(TRIUMPHANT MARCHING MUSIC)

(PATRONS CHEER)

[BO] And here comes Doc Pyle.

He just sat there and watched it all happen.
(CHUCKLES)

And there's Ramon Abrigon,
he even waited for Doc!

(LAUGHS) A snail chasing a turtle.

(PATRONS CHEER)

Look at all of that.

I mean, what do you think about that,
old buddy?

[PARNELLI] I don't wanna think about it.

[BO] Boy,
I knew we'd have an opening for a race,

but I never thought we'd
have anything like that,

I'll tell you.

Boy, that is what folks wanna see.

[PARNELLI] Well they sure saw it, Jesus.

Action World's gonna love us.

Gonna make you a star, P.J.

Oh, we'll see.

Yeah, take care now.

Now let's head back to operations.

Boy, what a race.

(RADIO CHATTERS)

Hey, how you doing?

Fine, thank you.

Ready for the interview?

Yeah, sure.

Here you go, honey.
- Roll it.

[TECH] Take one.

If the start is any indication,
it may be that the racers

who crashed out here are the lucky ones.

Can you fill us in on that?

Oh yeah, sure.

Let's take a look at the map over here.

Now the race is divided into three legs,

one a day for 1,000 miles, you see.

Now along the way,
the racers are gonna have to stop

at these checkpoints to
gas up and get verified

that they're on course.

Now at the end of the first two legs,

that's today and tomorrow, tomorrow night,

they're gonna stop at these villages here.

That's for an eight hour downtime,
that's eight hours

from the exact second they arrive,
you understand.

Now the motorcycles are kind of,

well, they're out on their own,

but the drivers will be in open
channel radio communication

with that chopper up there.

And they're with each other too,
as we can hear.

Yeah, that's right, yeah. (RADIO CHATTERS)

Well,
they're well-covered in case of mishap.

Now Parnelli Jones is
in the camera helicopter

following the survivors
of that opening crash.

[MEDIC] What's the 10-20
for my other ambulance?

(CHOPPER BLADES WHIR)

[PARNELLI] This is Parnelli, I'm over them!

[BO] This is Bo, old buddy,

can you see who's out in front?

[PARNELLI] It's Madden,
and he's really flying.

Course seems a little tame,
though, after the start.

[BO] Anybody keeping up with him?

Yeah, a couple of cycles,

looks like Paco Ramirez with
Pits Maloy right behind him.

But there's Perrier, and he doesn't seem

to be smoothing out the bumps too well,

but he's still in it.

I wonder how that Grand Prix driver feels

out there right now.

Oh,
looks like Doc Pyle's bucket's catching up.

And if he ever gets anywhere near Madden,

we're gonna see a flat out grudge race.

[BO] Hot damn!

Thanks, Bo.
- Hey, thank you, man.

[MAN] Pleasure.

[ANDY] Gum!

[C.C.] What?

Gum, side pocket!

Don't be shy about admitting
when you had enough.

When the times comes, remember the barf bag,

I don't wanna wear it.

(ENGINES BUZZ)

Take a champ,
get your mind out of your stomach.

What do you expect me to do, read?

Exactly, read.

Read the road, see what's coming up ahead.

Anticipate.

Get your mind out of your
stomach and out of the car!

See what's going on behind us.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

You hear music?

♪ Checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ Going for the heavy green ♪

♪ Gonna be a checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ There ain't no in-between ♪

♪ So do me right, you damn machine ♪

♪ Flat out and flying down the road ♪

♪ Ain't gonna eat nobody's dust ♪

♪ This dirty road goes straight to Heaven ♪

♪ That's where I'm heading, win or bust ♪

♪ Checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ Going for the heavy green ♪

♪ Gonna be a checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ There ain't no in-between ♪

♪ So do me right, you damn machine ♪

♪ I'm like a cat with no lives left ♪

♪ I guess I pushed my luck too far ♪

♪ I used to have a guardian angel ♪

♪ Until I climbed into this car ♪

♪ Checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ Going for the heavy green ♪

♪ Gonna be a checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ There ain't no in-between ♪

♪ So do me right, you damn machine ♪

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)

[ANDY] Hang on!

[C.C.] To what?

God, it's so hot!

[ANDY] Oh yeah?

Hot, huh?

[C.C.] Thanks.

[PITS] Come on!

Come on, spic!

Come on, move it!

Thought you were so good.

Oh yeah!

[CREWMAN] Can I get you something, Madden?

[ANDY] How far ahead am I?

They're just behind you yet.

(ENGINE REVS)

Clamp it!

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

[PACO] Hey asshole,
you learning anything from me?

[CREWMAN] Hey, stop, man.

You gotta stop!

Hey!

[RINGER] That son of a bitch.

Come on!

(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC)

Hey smartass!

You forgot to stop!

(ENGINES REV)

Aw, for Christ's sake!

Shit!

(SERENE MUSIC)

[ADAMS] Come on, get over!

[FLY] Go around!

[ADAMS] Coming through!

[FLY] No way!

[ADAMS] Give me track!

[JUDGE] Operations,
Dune Buggy's on his head,

better send a can opener.

He's moving,
but he can't be feeling too good.

Mayday.

Mayday!

[PARNELLI] Got it,
coordinates section JB-14.

How are you, Dune Buggy?

[ADAMS] Upside down, damn it.

Send a wrecker.

Shit, and I probably need a doctor.

All right, you get these coordinates

to the crew at checkpoint two.

Uh, Mr. Cochran--- Just a minute, honey.

Nelly, get on the horn and find out

where the hell that doctor is.

What's the name of that racer?

Adams.
- Adams?

Mr. Cochran.
- Okay, Adams.

[C.C.] Think he's all right?

[ANDY] Ah, he's one less to worry about.

You look a little green, girl.

(CROWD CHEERS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Listen, Billings,
being short of checkpoint crews

is the least of my worries right now.

Now you get out there and find

that little son of a bitch hotel manager!

What, yeah, of course I'll hold on!

Thanks, honey.

Oh!

Cochran here.

Well, good afternoon to you, sir.

Yeah.

No, no, I got no problem.

No sir, you see, I got a contract with you

for 75 rooms in your hotel tonight.

Yeah, that's right, and that ain't even half

of what we shook hands on.

No, uh-uh, no, no, uh-uh.

You see,
you're the one who's got the problem,

because you got 50, 60
racers coming in there.

Yeah, they're gonna be mean
and tired and hungry as hell,

because they're gonna be
expecting a hotel room!

Yeah, cause you and I shook hands on it!

(CROWD CHATTERS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

[CREWMAN] Madden, you're number one!

[ANDY] Ain't I your number one, baby?

Number one, you're in.

Supposed to be a goddamn doctor here.

What's the matter with you guys here anyway?

Don't know, some screw-up.

You could ride the truck back in.

I'll have one of the men drive your car in.

No way.

[TECH] You're gonna kill yourself.

(ENGINE RUMBLES)

Stupid son of a bitch.

(WHIMSICAL JAZZ MUSIC)

(ANDY LAUGHS)

I'm, I'm all right, I'm all right.

I'm all right.
- Yeah, sure you are.

Hell, you're holding me up.

(CHUCKLES) I had a hell of a
day at the office today, dear.

It's empty.

Ah, damned if it isn't.

You kinda feel like you've been someplace,

though, don't you?

I think I've been there before.

(CROWD CHATTERS)

(ENGINE BUZZES)

Shit!

I'm ruined!

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(C.C. COUGHS)

(ENGINE REVS)

Cheep, cheep!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Oy, what are you doing?

Cut it out!

(MEN SHOUT)

You son of a bitch!

The hell, god damn you!

What is this, a nursery?

For Christ sakes.

(SERENE JAZZ MUSIC)

(ANDY CHUCKLES)

Ah, damn I thought I heard music.

That Doc, he's ready for anything.

Except being fast.

Ho ho, it's smartass.

We had that sucker up and
down like a yo-yo today.

(GRUNTING)

[RINGER] What the hell's going on?

Would you three bastards stay off my ass.

(CLAPS)

[MAN] Hey, wait a minute!

What the...

(PATRONS CHATTER)

(ANDY LAUGHS)

Ooh wee!

Boy, she's rougher than a night in jail,
huh?

She's not your type.

Why not, hey, waiter!

She doesn't look like a milk drinker to me.

That gonna make it?

Yeah.

If I walk the rest of the race.

Yeah, well I'm out of it too.

But my car's not.

I need a pilot.

Talking to me?

50-50.

My car.

My risk.

I'm risking my car!

You're risking nothing for something, Adams.

So what more have you got?

Two good arms.

How much?

I think 75-25 sounds good.

No way.

(HORN HONKS)

(MAN WHISTLES)

(SERENE MUSIC)

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(GENTLE JAZZ MUSIC)

Hey waiter, another three beers.

God damn, I'm thirsty.

Hello, butthole.
- Howdy.

Got a minute and 42 seconds on you.

Hey, hey, superstitious, look, I made it.

Well hey, hey, hey, knock on wood!

(C. C LAUGHS)

How's your time?

My time, well, it's behind some,

ahead of some, it's all right.

How's your Jeep doing?

It's kinda like a turtle
crossing the highway.

Huh?

So far so good, you know.

Oh, I get it.

Turtle.

Hey, you're in first place, way to go.

Yeah, you think on that.

You superstitious like Doc?

Let me tell you something about Doc.

You know he's got one lucky
sock he wears every day.

Every day?

Oh, he washes it every night,
but he treats it like a pet.

Oh, what about this thing?

Oh, sumbitch.

What's the matter?

Talking his hocus pocus crap.

You know, before every race he'd always try

to lay them voodoo doodads on me.

Hell, I'd throw them out,
but he always managed

to stash that damn pink rabbit's
foot somewhere in the car.

And when he gave it to me, then he, ah.

Slipped it to me again.

Why are you angry with him?

Hey, you're pretty tired

and I'm gonna be first out tomorrow.

Why don't you just grab another ride, huh?

Uh-uh, you know the deal,
till I quit or you crash.

Don't you understand I do not want

to be responsible for you?

You're not.

Look,
you just knock on my door in the morning,

I'll be ready.

Yeah, well, if I have time.

(PATRONS CHATTER)

(AUDIENCE CHEERS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Mr. Cochran.

Mr. Cochran.

Mr. Cochran!

Oh, hey, hi, honey, how you doing?

[WOMAN] Checkpoint seven
says there's a landslide

on the course.

Oh yeah, how bad?

[WOMAN] I think you're
gonna have to reroute.

Anybody know where the hell it is?

[WOMAN] About 22 miles from Calopi Bend.

Go get me some coffee, coffee, will you?

Oh god.

Oh Jesus.

Goddamn!

(CROWD CHATTERS)

[C.C.] Rise and shine!

[ANDY] What?

God!

How much time I got?

Just enough time for this.

[ANDY] That what?

This.

What, what is?

Oh, coffee.

(ANDY SIGHS)

Ew.

Thanks a hell of a lot.

Good day for it, huh?

Hey Madden!
- Huh?

Better change your name
from Walkaway to wake up!

(LAUGHS)

Is that number two over there talking?

[PACO] Number two,
only in your dreams, Madden.

(ENGINE RUMBLES)

It's coming to one minute.

You got one minute, Madden!

Anything I need to know?

[WOMAN] You got 10 seconds, Madden.

Yeah, I thought you'd never ask.

Yeah, we got a little trouble up ahead,

you're gonna have a detour today.

What is it?

You'll know it when you get there.

Three, two, one.

[CREWMAN] Go!

(SERENE MUSIC)

Good morning.

May I have the pleasure of
your company this morning?

No thanks.

(MAN WHISTLES)

[MAN] Hey baby.

(ENGINE RUMBLES)

Hey Vlaki!

How much time you got?

I got seven minutes, man!

Seven minutes?
- Yeah!

Hey, we're shutting it down.

(ENGINES ROAR)

That 75-25 sure has a nice ring to it.

Better than nothing.

(CHUCKLES)

[WOMAN] Six, five, four,

three, two, one.

Go!

Hungry?

Here.

Oh!

Oh no, no, don't thank me, really!

I mean,
your smiling face is all the thanks I need.

Morning comes early

for big time off-road racer Walkaway Madden.

For breakfast it's a handful
of nails and a bucket of blood,

and then he's off picking
his teeth with a tire iron

at 90 miles an hour.

Mucho macho Madden. (YELPS)

(SERENE JAZZ MUSIC)

(ENGINE WHINES)

[WOMAN] Four, three, two, one.

Go!

(ADVENTUROUS MUSIC)

(HORN HONKS)

(MEN SHOUT)

(CHILDREN CLAMOR)

[C.C.] Watch the kids!

[ANDY] I see them.

Get the hell out, you goddamn brats!

(ANDY SHOUTS)

Aw, shit!

[C.C.] What's wrong?

[ANDY] Tie rod.

[C.C.] Can we fix it?

What's this we shit?

Ask and you shall receive.

(HORN HONKS)

Thanks a lot.

Second day,
early morning in a Philippine salt bed,

the only bed Walkaway Madden
has seen for 48 hours.

This high jumper jumped too far,
not for the first time.

No, Madden's used to improvising,

and here he's battering
away at part of his car

with a furor that suggests the,

what, deterioration of a deeper,
more personal relationship

between he and his longtime friend Doc Pyle.

Doc and Madden used to be a team,

until the inauguration of the Manila 1,000,

and then Doc decided to drive his own car,

so now Madden finds himself in a situation

for once from which he cannot walk away.

And to add to his troubles,
it looks like Madden

is now about to lose the lead!

While Madden works feverishly,
desperately on his car,

Paco Ramirez hurdles out of the distance.

It looks like he's gonna pass him.

He does, and Madden's now number two!

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

[RINGER] Hear this, all you assholes.

This is Ringer in the dune buggy.

I'm gonna waste the first guy
I see just for the practice.

So you see me coming,
you better roll over and play dead.

[MAN] Hey motormouth, turn it off,

I can't hear myself race!

[RINGER] Hey, take it back.

[MAN] Hey man, what you doing,

there's room for both of us!

[RINGER] Get out of my way.

[MAN] I'm, yo, you get out of my way,
it's a public beach!

[RINGER] Move your ass, Sunday driver!

[MAN] I'll move your ass, you mother!

[RINGER] All right, I warned you.

[MAN] Hey!

Oh, shit.

Jesus, I can't wait any longer.

(RADIO CHATTERS) All right.

Get Parnelli on the radio.

[WOMAN] Operations to chopper one,
come in, Parnelli.

[PARNELLI] Parnelli here,
go ahead, Operations.

I can't find anybody knows
their ass from their elbow.

How much of that road is out?

[PARNELLI] About two miles.

Can I reroute?

[PARNELLI] You've got to,

the switchback is completely gone.

Okay, I'm coming up to take a look.

(ENGINE WHINES)

This is Cochran to all racers.

They're gonna hold you
down at checkpoint seven

while we clear up a little
problem with the course.

Y'all sit tight till you hear from me,
it won't be long.

Checkpoint seven, confirm your copy.

(STAFF MEMBERS CHAT)

Yeah.
- I'll bet you one,

two, three, four, five, six.

All right, I'll see us 20,
and I'm raising you 20.

(CHOPPER BLADES WHIR)

(MEN CHATTER)

Beater's here.
- Been here half an hour

already.

All right, boys, get over here.

Come on, let's go.

What's going on?
- Get in here, navigator.

Okay, we got us a detour for
a little added excitement.

Okay, here's where we are now.

Detour's a loop to the east about 15 miles,

you're back on course.

You got any questions?

What's the real scoop on this, Bo?

Aw, it's a piece of cake, piece of cake.

Honey, I wanna see you over here a minute.

Bill, I wanna talk to you.

Five, four, three, two, one, go!

Five, four, three, two, one, go!

(CHOPPER BLADES WHIR)

Okay, Billings,
you just give me those coordinates.

What are you talking about?

We got flash floods and landslides?

Looks like more of the same
for the next couple of days?

You just stay where you are,

I'm gonna go up and check on that stuff now.

Okay?

Out.

You know something?
- What?

[C.C.] I'm beginning to like it!

[ANDY] Oh, why don't you just stick

with Ferraris and champagne?

[BILLINGS] It's getting real bad.

Get over here as fast as you can, boss.

Okay.

Yeah, okay.

Listen, go right over to that river basin

and see what the hell's going on.

[C.C.] Why are we weaving?

It's that damn front end.

Hang on!

Can't you hold it in?

Let me take some pictures.

I ain't got time to smile.

(ENGINE WHINES)

There's no waiting!

Okay, okay, I'm coming.

(ENGINE REVS)

Wait a minute!

You son of a bitch!

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)

Oh, thanks, that's real considerate of you,
you son of a...

(ENGINE ROARS)

(COUGHS)

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)

(CHILDREN CLAMOR)

C.C. Wainwright,
Stratus Magazine's reporter on the spot,

now faced with the ultimate deadline,

shall pause and take stock of
what is euphemistically called

her career, and laughingly called her life.

(SIGHS)

Her many fans have stuck with her

through all of the toughies that she's had,

from Belfast to Bangladesh,

from Khrushchev by means of Kissinger,

to the watersheds of Vietnam, to Watergate,

to angling for Angola even.

Hey, hey!

Now finding herself abandoned,
she brings to you

the plain, simple,
untrammeled truth, which is,

I don't believe it!

It is of course fittingly ironic

that Wainwright's last story

would be a chronicle of her own slow end,

so here in the middle of God-knows-where,

this tape will be a journal of my ordeal.

Now, what comes to mind as fate closes in?

Friends, employers, lovers.

And alone at the end of it all,

I'm filled with a desire to
leave you with the truth.

My friends, they were all worthless,

my employers all cheap bastards,

and my lovers, (LAUGHS) lousy,
every one of them.

[ANDY] Andy K. to chopper change,
still up there, Bo?

[BO] Go ahead, Andy.

[ANDY] We lost another
sweet-cheeked compiler

about an hour back.

[BO] Yeah, I can see her now.

What the hell took you so
long to get on the horn?

[ANDY] I've been busy, Bo!

What's with Madden?

Don't ask.

(BO LAUGHS)

Did he stop or just slow
down to 50 to drop you off?

Very funny, where we going?

Uh...

Going up to take a look at the,

what could be the end of
the damn race tomorrow.

Jesus, there's no way through that.

Just no goddamn way.

[C.C.] God, even the high ground's gone.

There's nothing.

Well, that's the end of the goddamned race.

Take us back to the town so I can call.

I got a big phone call to make.

Gotta go to Manila and
meet with the backers.

You canceled.

Not yet.

Son of a bitch, every minute you wait,

those guys are out there
risking their lives for nothing.

You have to cancel.

That's every cent I got in the world.

I owe $438,000,
that's how big a hook I had to swallow

to get this race on.

Now I've lied to my best friends

and conned some very dangerous strangers

all over the United States,

because across that finish line,

I got everybody covered
with a $500,000 TV sale.

So what?

I'm going.

[C.C.] Are you coming back?

Soon as I can.

(CROWD CHEERS)

(CROWD CHEERS)

(SERENE JAZZ MUSIC)

Okay, you're in.

Hey.

What's this?

Huh?

(GLASS SHATTERS) - Hey.

That's my car!

What do you think of a-- - Hey, wait, wait a minute!

Wait a minute, hey!

You did, hey!
- What is this, polo?

Oh, we finally gonna do it, huh, Turtle?

Okay, Thrilla in Manila, okay.

I guess so, hotshot.

Now you stop him, Turtle.

(GRUNTS)

Don't you ever say that.

I mean don't even say it,
you understand that?

Well he bloody well called you Turtle.

(GRUNTS) (SPECTATORS CLAMOR)

I'll be right back.
- Take your time.

[MAN] Get at him, Tony!

(GRUNTING)

Hey.
- Man, you son of a bitch,

I hope you eat it, baby.

Hey boss.
- Hey, hey!

Watch that guy over there, man, watch him!

You'll get the shit knocked out of you,
man, that's right.

[MAN] I'm right beside you, man.

Ha! (MAN LAUGHS)

(GRUNTING)

(MEN SHOUT)

[MAN] Sucker punch, get him.

No, watch him, watch him.

Get in there, Tony!
- Look over there,

look over there.

(DOC LAUGHS) - Cooper, kick.

Hey man. (MAN SHOUTS)

(GRUNTING)

(SPECTATORS LAUGH)

Madden, money on you, baby.

Woo!

Three, four, five, six.

Looks like a new personal record!

Just gave me something to shoot at, boy.

(SPECTATORS CLAMOR)

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)

Obviously,
the man does not like to be called Turtle.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, Doc.

Come here a second, I wanna talk to you.

All right, boys, gather up.

I'm gonna make an announcement.

Get those guys out of the bar,

I wanna make an announcement, all right?

[ANDY] Hey turkeys!

Drag your drunk asses out of here,

Bo wants to see you.
- After all those guys

that crashed today,
I'll tell you what, baby,

that detour you came up with is a real play.

What are we in for?

Come on in, boys.
- Come on, let's go.

(MEN CHATTER) - What the hell's going on,

boy, I mean, hell.

I flew over that valley

your course home-stretches across tomorrow.

Flash flood tore down through
there and your route's gone.

Gone?
- Gone, Bo,

what the hell do you mean?

That's right.
- There's gotta be a way.

I'm telling you, that valley's unpassable.

You mean to tell me there is no way

to cross the finish line?

Well, now there is a,
they just started cutting a,

a little road outside the
disaster area there, but--

(MEN CHATTER ANGRILY) Now wait a minute,
guys.

Now wait a minute, wait a minute,

I'm telling you it's not finished yet,

they're still working on it.

Driving through there with
all that heavy machinery

would be like driving through a minefield.

There's nothing for it, boys.

You're gonna have to pack it up.

What did the backers say?

[BO] Doesn't make any
difference what they said.

I wanna know about my compensation.

Compensation?

A kiss-off is what it is.

Let's cut the crap, huh?

What'd the backers say,
Bo, what's bottom line?

Doesn't matter, Andy, I turned them down.

What'd you turn down?

Well the backers figure

that they've got so much
invested in this race already

that they want it to finish at any cost.

How much?

They want you guys to risk your lives

for double the amount.

Double?

Is that double all the way down the line?

That's right.

You got a deal.

(MEN CHEER)

Hey, hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute, god damn it!

(MEN CLAMOR)

Show me the road, show me the road.

You know,
I do business the way you race cars.

Win or crash. (CHUCKLES)

Tonight it's mostly crash.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

You know, Andy.

All those years I was racing stock cars,

I never won one.

No?

No, I almost always, almost always finished,

and I almost always finished in the money,

but I never won one.

Closest I ever come was Charlotte.

It was about 11 years ago next May.

I was running 2nd and 3rd the whole race,
you know.

Just keeping cool, careful,
thinking all the time.

Along towards the end, old Junior Johnson's

running first, of course.

Well, on the last lap,
I tucked into his slipstream

so close I could count the
hairs on the back of his neck,

you know what I mean.

And on that last turn, I stood on him

and slipped down inside old Junior.

And then I saw something, I saw something

that to me was an absolute vision.

What?

Well it was just the track,
but it was empty.

Wasn't nobody out in front of me.

(LAUGHS)

I tell you, that was the first and last time

I ever saw that.

Yeah, I just couldn't believe my eyes.

And then that son-bitching engine blew up,

and I rolled in fourth of Junior.

Shit. (BO LAUGHS)

Yeah, but I saw it.

Only empty out there,
nobody in the world in front of me.

And that's the best I ever done, Andy.

Just a look, just once.

Ah hell, Bo,
most fellas don't even get a look.

Yeah, most fellas each other's dust.

Feel me.
- Look here, Andy,

this time I figure you got the luck.

Now you're gonna do it, ain't you?

Damn right, wouldn't you?

You bet your sweet ass I would. (LAUGHS)

Hey, Bo.

Tell me something.

Did you really talk to those backers?

Huh?

Well if you're not gonna finish your beer,
I will.

(LAUGHS)

Hi.

Hi.

How's your car doing?

I broke my tape deck.

And outside of that,
I got some exhaust fumes

coming up under the floorboards, choking me,

but it's all right.

I was just gonna ask you
if I could ride with you.

Are you serious?
- Yeah.

Oh.

Well, it's gonna be kinda rough.

So far so good.

Well, there's gonna be carbon monoxide

thick enough to chew.

I'll ride with my nose in the air.

You got a ride.

It's a deal.

Listen, as soon as the last driver leaves,

I'm gonna take the chopper and
go down to the finish line.

Feel a whole lot better
if you change your mind

and come down with me.

Nope, thanks, but I'm going all the way.

Gonna go with Doc.

[ANNOUNCER] Add to the list of crash-outs.

Numbers 23, 52 and 76.

Left still parking.

(ENGINES REV)

[WOMAN] Five, four, three, two, one, go!

Four, three, two, one, go!

[C.C.] Got your lucky sock on?

[DOC] How'd you know about that?

(ENGINE REVS)

(ENERGETIC MUSIC)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(HORN HONKS)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

(CAR CREAKS)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(TENSE MUSIC)

I knew it.

Easy, girl.

Easy, little thing.

Easy now, I'm gonna get you out of here.

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

[C.C.] Oh, my body will never forgive me!

[DOC] Country's kinda like a woman!

[C.C.] Huh?

[DOC] Only hostile when you're in a hurry!

[C.C.] Oh!

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

[ANDY] That's good, come on.

You son of a bitch.

Come on, come on.

(GROANS)

Oh, catch it, catch it, catch it, catch it!

(ANDY CHUCKLES)

[DOC] Look at that!

[ANDY] You're the stiff!

(C.C. LAUGHS GLEEFULLY)

[C.C.] I don't believe it,
I don't believe it!

You got him, you got him!

[DOC] You're damn right I got him!

(C.C. GIGGLES)

(ENERGETIC MUSIC)

(ENGINES REV)

(MAN SHOUTS)

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

[RINGER] Come on, you piece of crap.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

[DOC] I don't believe it!

[C.C.] What?

[DOC] We're in the lead!

(C.C. WHOOPS) - They're all behind us!

[C.C.] Are you sure?

[DOC] Oh!

(C.C. WHOOPS)

(ENERGETIC MUSIC)

(ANDY CACKLES)

God damn you, Madden!

[ANDY] Come on, Turtle, catch me! (laughs)

[DOC] You're crazy!

(TENSE MUSIC)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(ANDY CACKLES)

[ANDY] Let's go!

(SHOUTING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

[DOC] Are you all right?

How the hell should I know?

[DOC] Don't make any sudden moves.

Just check yourself out, I'll be right back.

Oh, holy...

Thanks a lot!

[DOC] Are you all right?

Yeah, hell yeah, I'm all right.

Good! (ANDY GRUNTS)

(ANDY GROANS)

I got a question.

What the hell did you hit me for?

What'd I hit you for?

Why were you trying to run me off the road?

I had the track!

No you didn't!
- The hell I didn't,

I was that far ahead of you!

You believe that?
- I know that!

Oh no, oh no!

(GRUNTING)

Come on.
- Okay, okay.

Hey, hey, stop it!

You idiots, stop fighting!

The race isn't over yet, remember?

The hell it is,
did you take a look at my car lately?

Are you sure, would you rather just

beat each other's brains out all day?

Ask her!

Ask her what?
- Ask her who had it.

Oh boy.

You got all four wheels on that thing?

I don't--- We can fight later.

Goddamn gas tank's shot.

[DOC] So are the brakes.

These brakes are never gonna work.

[ANDY] The hell with the brakes.

My gas tank works just fine.

Yeah, it's a death trap,
just like the good old days.

[DOC] Hey, where you going?

[ANDY] What are you talking about,
where I'm going?

[DOC] This is my car, pal!

Hey, it's fine, it's my gas tank and my gas!

[DOC] No, we'll fight about it later--

Hey, all you got experience
in building death traps,

I'm the one that knows how to drive them.

[DOC] Wait a minute, wait a minute.

All right, we'll flip for it.

You got a coin?

Yeah, think as a matter of fact I do.

Flip it, I'll call it.

All right, this one's for sunny.

Okay.

(DOC GROANS)

Well what the hell's he
know about crashing anyway?

Tell him he'll see me when he gets lucky.

[C.C.] Hold it.

Huh?

Um...
- Huh?

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)

I'll see you when I get lucky, huh?

Watch him. (ENGINE ROARS)

What a tank.

[C.C.] Hey, you okay?

[DOC] Yeah, go radio someone to come get us.

Keep your head down!

What happened?

Madden stole my goddamn Jeep!

Climb in, we all know where he's going.

[DOC] He's racing without brakes, Bo!

(ENERGETIC MUSIC)

[C.C.] There he is!

[DOC] So far so good,
if he just doesn't push it!

[BO] Here comes Ringer.

[DOC] God's sake, Andy, don't race with him.

For the first time in your life,
play it smart.

[RINGER] Give me the road, Madden.

[ANDY] Ah, stick it, turkey.

[DOC] Andy, this is Doc!

Don't race with that guy,
he's got you going too fast!

[BO] Listen to him, Andy!

(TENSE MUSIC)

[DOC] Let him go, Andy,

all you gotta do is finish the race,
all right?

[ANDY] No, it's not all right,
I'm eating dust!

(TIRES SCREECH)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(HORN HONKS)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(SPECTATORS CLAMOR)

(TENSE MUSIC)

Let me through, get out of the way!

[C.C.] Andy!

[ANDY] Hey,
would somebody take this rabbit's foot

out of my ear?

♪ Checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ Going for the heavy green ♪

♪ Gonna be a checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ There ain't no in-between ♪

♪ So do me right, you damn machine ♪

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

♪ Flat out and flying down the road ♪

♪ Ain't gonna eat nobody's dust ♪

♪ This dirty road goes straight to Heaven ♪

♪ That's where I'm heading, win or bust ♪

♪ Checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ Going for the heavy green ♪

♪ Gonna be a checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ There ain't no in-between ♪

♪ So do me right, you damn machine ♪

♪ I'm like a cat with no lives left ♪

♪ I guess I pushed my luck too far ♪

♪ I used to have a guardian angel ♪

♪ Until I climbed into this car ♪

♪ Checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ Going for the heavy green ♪

♪ Gonna be a checkered flag or crash ♪

♪ There ain't no in-between ♪

♪ So do me right, you damn machine ♪