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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:03,270 * MTV. * 2 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,360 Are you still here? 3 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,870 You need to get going. 4 00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:23,070 I can't get going. I told you I don't feel well. 5 00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:24,470 What's the matter now? 6 00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:26,240 Oh, nothing, I just had 7 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,870 explosive fucking diarrhea all night 8 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,440 because you decided to get us KFC for dinner. 9 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,650 You have KFC all the time. 10 00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:35,080 Yeah, and I have diarrhea all the time! 11 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,650 You're not staying home all day and playing Baldur's Gate 3. 12 00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:42,190 - Now let's go. - Ugh! 13 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,720 Have a good day at school, sweetie. 14 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,340 Fuck you, Mom! 15 00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,400 This is bullshit. 16 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,630 How do you get your mom arrested for child abuse? 17 00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,900 She wouldn't let you stay home and play Baldur's Gate 3, 18 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,240 huh, fat ass? 19 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,470 Who you callin' fat, you heathen bitch? 20 00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:00,610 Dude, you don't wanna miss school today. 21 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,810 Clyde said he's gonna fart on Tammy Mullins during P.E. 22 00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,080 Tammy Mullins has sweet fucking knockers. 23 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,750 Dude, Kenny, enough about Tammy's knockers! 24 00:01:08,950 --> 00:01:10,220 You sound like a white male trying to 25 00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:11,950 re-establish the patriarchy. 26 00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:15,120 (screaming) 27 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,490 Eric, it's okay. 28 00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:18,920 - It's okay. - Mom! Mom! 29 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,330 I had a dream that... 30 00:01:20,530 --> 00:01:22,330 I was replaced by a diverse woman! 31 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:23,760 Oh, not again. 32 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,100 Yeah, only this time, it wasn't just me. 33 00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,670 They were taking all my favorite people and replacing them 34 00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:30,500 with diverse women complaining about the patriarchy. 35 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,340 Will you check under the bed and make sure 36 00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,040 there's no Disney executives under there? 37 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,610 - I promise there's not. - I'm scared, Mom! 38 00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:38,510 Will you please just look and make sure Kathleen Kennedy 39 00:01:38,710 --> 00:01:40,000 isn't under my bed? 40 00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:43,520 Kathleen Kennedy is not under your bed. 41 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,880 Can you check the closet? 42 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,450 Eric, enough. 43 00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:49,520 I've told you there's no such thing as Disney executives 44 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,560 who replace everyone you love with diverse women 45 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,360 who complain about the patriarchy. 46 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,840 Now be a big boy. 47 00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,530 It's-it's not real. 48 00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:01,770 It's... it's not real. 49 00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:03,950 * * 50 00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,860 (rooster crows) 51 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:18,580 - Get up! - (yells) 52 00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:20,420 Come on, Stan, get up. Let's go. 53 00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:21,620 - What, Dad? - Downstairs. 54 00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:23,610 Let's go. I'm sick of this shit. 55 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,790 Okay. 56 00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:29,660 It has come to my attention lately that 57 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:33,600 young people today don't know how to do shit. 58 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,570 You got your phones and your AI and you kids haven't 59 00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:38,870 learned to be able to actually do anything. 60 00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,640 So we're going to take this morning to 61 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,940 learn how to fix something. You see this? 62 00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:47,080 See this? The oven door isn't working. 63 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,750 It's falling off the hinges. So what do we do? 64 00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:51,070 Shelley? 65 00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,420 I don't know. 66 00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:54,690 It's very simple. 67 00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:56,390 You gotta make the hinges tighter 68 00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:57,960 so the oven door's more secure. 69 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,360 So what you do is... you take out your phone 70 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,030 and you call the handyman. 71 00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,860 (line ringing) 72 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:07,130 HANDYMAN (over phone): Hello? 73 00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:08,830 Hello. It's Randy Marsh. 74 00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:12,610 My oven door is not working. Please come fix it. 75 00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:15,820 Now we rest until the handyman comes. 76 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,980 (tool clicking) 77 00:03:22,180 --> 00:03:24,620 Are you following this at all, guys? 78 00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:27,450 - Is this seeping in? - Nope. 79 00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:30,320 No, it looks like the screws are totally stripped. 80 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,760 What does that mean? What's wrong? 81 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,690 Can't get 'er fixed right now, I gotta get 82 00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:35,960 some different washers at the Home Depot. 83 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,400 Okay, do that. 84 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,660 Can't do it right now, I gotta get 85 00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,470 over to Stephen Stotch's house 86 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:42,030 and install his closet shelves. 87 00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:45,140 Okay, see, kids, this happens sometimes 88 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,740 but handymen don't make a lot of money, so here's what you do. 89 00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:50,210 Oh, okay, I will pay you an extra 30 bucks 90 00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:51,940 if you fix my oven now. 91 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:55,350 Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already gave me an extra 50 bucks. 92 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,020 I will pay you an extra 55 bucks. 93 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,290 Randy, did you fix the oven door yet? 94 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,260 I'm working on it! 95 00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:03,590 Look, please. 96 00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,190 Whatever you want. I'll throw in a six-pack 97 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:06,730 of beer and you can get drunk. 98 00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:08,790 I don't need your trivial little perks anymore, Marsh. 99 00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:11,830 I got work comin' out my ears. It's like... 100 00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:13,530 I don't know, it's like nobody knows 101 00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,580 how to do shit anymore. 102 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,300 You're-- You're just gonna leave? 103 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,470 I'll pay a different handyman. 104 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:21,770 Yeah, go for it, buddy, 105 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,290 I got so much money I don't care. 106 00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:28,060 What the hell is going on? 107 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:32,350 All right, just try to relax. Take a deep breath. 108 00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:36,760 (inhales) Now tell me exactly what it is you're afraid of. 109 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,760 I keep having the same dream. 110 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,860 Everywhere I look, people are being replaced. 111 00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:45,500 Okay. And who do you think is going to have you replaced? 112 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,900 Them. The puppet masters. 113 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,470 The last time I had the dream, I was, I was walking 114 00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:52,170 down the school hallway... 115 00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:54,740 * * 116 00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,040 And then I see Butters, and he's like... 117 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,280 (Cartman's voice): Hey, Eric! You wanna see 118 00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,610 what my mom packed me for lunch? 119 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,150 And that's when I start to notice 120 00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:02,580 that something's wrong. Everyone I cared about 121 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,080 has been systematically replaced. 122 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,720 And finally I want to scream and I'm like... 123 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,590 Why are they replacing every single character 124 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,250 with someone who is diverse? 125 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:10,760 - But then Kenny's like... - (Cartman's voice): It's not 126 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,260 our fault, it's 'cause of Kathleen Kennedy. 127 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,560 But then Kathleen Kennedy's just like... 128 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:14,960 Fuck it! Make it more lame. 129 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,930 CARTMAN: And everyone in town is like, 130 00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,800 "No, please, Kathleen Kennedy, stop ruining everything." 131 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,100 But Kathleen Kennedy is all like... 132 00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,630 Put another gay diverse woman in it. 133 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,440 Make it more fucking lame. 134 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,570 And Disney stock just keeps going down and down and down! 135 00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:27,240 And then Bob Iger is all like... 136 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,510 (Cartman's voice): No! No! What's going on with my stocks? 137 00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:30,980 No, Kathleen Kennedy! 138 00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:33,300 (screaming) 139 00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:36,380 Oh. It happened again, didn't it? 140 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:39,620 Okay, Eric, I think I know what's going on here. 141 00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:43,290 Your fears aren't about Disney replacing everything you love. 142 00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:47,890 What everyone is afraid of these days is being replaced by AI. 143 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:49,430 - AI? - But you don't need 144 00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,030 to worry, Eric. 145 00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:53,530 As long as you work hard and stay in school, 146 00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:55,170 you can make something of yourself. 147 00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:58,270 Become an elite worker like I did that AI can't replace. 148 00:05:58,470 --> 00:05:59,870 You're a therapist and the best thing 149 00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,170 you have to tell me is "stay in school"? 150 00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:03,910 You're in control of your future, Eric. 151 00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,810 You just need to ask yourself, 152 00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,180 "Who will be the people 153 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:10,130 still making money in the AI-driven future?" 154 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,750 (electricity crackles) 155 00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,670 What the-- What the fuck? 156 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,930 (tool clicking) 157 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,490 Could you hurry it up, please? 158 00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:22,730 I kind of need to get back to work. 159 00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:24,030 Yep, well, looks like 160 00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:25,800 you got a short in the outlet there. 161 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,400 I'd have to get a new outlet at Home Depot. 162 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,370 I can probably come change it on the 28th. 163 00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:32,340 28th? No, no, no, look. 164 00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,640 I'll give a hundred bucks to get this done today. 165 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,940 I already got a feller giving me thousands 166 00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:38,880 to fix his toilet this afternoon. 167 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,450 Thousands? I can't afford that. 168 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:42,950 Free therapy sessions. 169 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:45,320 How about we trade? You do the handiwork for me. 170 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,650 And I'll give you five free therapy sessions! 171 00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:49,190 Oh, no, thanks. 172 00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:53,910 I do all my therapy on the AI Freudbot app. 173 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,070 ANNOUNCER: This is South Park Breaking News. 174 00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:02,230 Shocking developments in the country today, 175 00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:05,300 it appears that nobody knows how to do shit anymore. 176 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,010 Our own Chris Martins is live on the scene. 177 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,680 Tom, I'm standing in my bathroom where the new 178 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,380 tile for my shower has yet to be installed. 179 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,480 As you can see, the tile has started to peel off in places. 180 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,050 Now the handyman was supposed to come days ago to fix it 181 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,490 but he claims to have better offers 182 00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:23,090 from other white-collar workers 183 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:26,360 like me whose practical know-how has atrophied. 184 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,560 It appears we've all screwed ourselves 185 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,910 by relying on technology and AI. 186 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,840 - (phone chimes) - Hey, Siri, 187 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,570 how do you fix a broken oven door? 188 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:43,610 SIRI: Here's what I found from reference.com. 189 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,880 Undo any screws that hold the hinges in position, 190 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,010 pull the door upward and then outwards 191 00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,080 to detach hinges from the oven. 192 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,120 Insert the new hinge into the hinge holes 193 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,990 and secure the hinges with screws. 194 00:07:56,190 --> 00:08:00,330 Hey, Siri, okay, can you do that for me? 195 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,130 Can I do what for you? 196 00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:04,430 Can you fix my oven door for me? 197 00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:06,160 It's broken. 198 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,970 I cannot do that because I do not have arms. 199 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,100 You will need to call a handyman. 200 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,540 The handyman isn't available. 201 00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,210 He's all, like, rich now 202 00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:19,140 and I fucking rely on him to keep everything working here! 203 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,910 I am unable to fix an oven door. 204 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:25,420 Oh, well, hey, Siri, I thought AI was supposed to be 205 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:29,120 this amazing scary advancement that could, like, do anything. 206 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,020 Hey, Randy, the oven door in the kitchen 207 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,010 - still isn't-- - I am working on it! 208 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,390 Hey, Siri, all the handymen are rich 209 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,900 and I can't afford them anymore so what do I do? 210 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,400 Perhaps you could find an unlicensed worker 211 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,340 who does small day jobs for cash. 212 00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:47,840 You mean like those broke-ass illegal immigrants 213 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,810 down at Home Depot? 214 00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:51,880 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it that way. 215 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,050 Hey, Siri, you mean like those 216 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,650 broke-ass illegal immigrants down at Home Depot? 217 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:59,590 Yes. There are often people sitting out front 218 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,660 of Home Depot waiting to be hired for work. 219 00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:05,310 Yeah. Those guys! 220 00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:08,280 (school bell rings) 221 00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,930 Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you? 222 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,400 Sure, guys, what's up? 223 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,530 Well, Clyde says that you told Tammy Mullins 224 00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:18,000 he was gonna fart on her in P.E. so she didn't show up. 225 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,040 Yeah, I might have told her. 226 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,710 Well, Kenny, everyone was really looking forward to that. 227 00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,040 Why did you ruin it? 228 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,610 I told you guys I think Tammy Mullins 229 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,510 - has sweet fucking knockers. - CARTMAN: You guys! 230 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:30,680 You guys! Something super crazy is happening, you guys. 231 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,080 You went on a diet? 232 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,720 This is serious, Kyle! 233 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,220 At first they were just dreams, 234 00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,460 but now I feel like I'm actually changing. 235 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,160 Why would I be having visions that I'm a diverse woman? 236 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,160 Because you're a fat, racist piece of shit. 237 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,560 Goddamn it, I'm not fat. I'm just shamed for my body 238 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,330 in a world where white men decide what's beautiful. 239 00:09:46,530 --> 00:09:48,700 (gasps) What the fuck was that?! 240 00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,770 Why would I say that? I don't say that. You see?! 241 00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:54,170 This is happening to all of us, you guys. 242 00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,940 You might think everything is okay. 243 00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:58,710 But Disney... is gonna get ya. 244 00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:00,480 Kathleen Kennedy's gonna get ya. 245 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,320 Disney and Kathleen Kennedy are gonna get ya! 246 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,120 (screaming) 247 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,790 I don't think that what I'm experiencing are dreams. 248 00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:09,760 I think that what I'm seeing are windows... 249 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,920 into alternate universes. 250 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,540 Yeah, okay, I'm out. 251 00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:15,490 It's true, Kyle, there could be 252 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,230 other universes with other versions of-- 253 00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:19,030 Everyone's sick of the stupid multiverse, Cartman. 254 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:21,100 It's not stupid, it's totally possible 255 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,700 and if you can't-- 256 00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:24,300 (muffled): Kyle? Kyle? 257 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,340 I swear, the multiverse is just an excuse for lazy writing. 258 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,410 - Whoa. Kyle! - Yeah, it's like every damn movie now. 259 00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:29,710 Kyle, what is this? 260 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,810 Uh, you might wanna listen to him, Kyle! 261 00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,580 Kyle, you gotta help me! 262 00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:34,650 Help me, Kyle! 263 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,630 (screaming) 264 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,030 (whistles) Hey! 265 00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:54,430 Hey, I need a worker! 266 00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:56,430 - Is that a handyman? - There's one! 267 00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:57,940 - (all clamoring) - Hey, you wanna trade? 268 00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,300 What the fuck? 269 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,270 Randy! You know how to do stuff, right? 270 00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:02,540 I gotta get the radiant heat 271 00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:04,040 installed in my house and I'm offering 272 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,880 free legal advice in exchange. 273 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,480 You need a reporter? 274 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,920 I'll report the news to you if you fix my shower tile! 275 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,280 How about a computer programmer? I can do coding! 276 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,020 Insurance broker? Insurance broker? 277 00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,650 What the hell are you guys doing here? 278 00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:17,990 We're trying to get a handyman to do stuff for us. 279 00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,130 You know how to install radiant heat or not? 280 00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:23,760 No, I need some broke-ass immigrants to fix my oven door. 281 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,230 - (all groaning) - Dang it. 282 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,580 Hey! Here comes a different handyman! 283 00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:32,670 (whistles) Hey, anyone wanna make a bunch of money? 284 00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:35,790 I need four workers who know how to use a power saw. 285 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:39,380 I'll do lawyer work if you install my radiant heat! 286 00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:41,210 I've got skills in human resources. 287 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,610 Let's work something out! 288 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:46,230 No, I need guys that know how to work a power saw. 289 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,610 None of you know how to work a power saw? Jesus Christ. 290 00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,540 What universe is this? 291 00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:09,210 Yo, Kenny, we gotta ask you something. 292 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:12,080 Are you, like, in love with Tammy Mullins? 293 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,680 I'm not in love with her, I just like her knockers. 294 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,150 Okay, well, why would you protect someone from getting 295 00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:19,850 farted on unless there were some real feelings there? 296 00:12:20,050 --> 00:12:22,050 Dude, I said I was sorry, okay? 297 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,590 You guys! You guys! 298 00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:26,620 Something really weird is going on! 299 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,490 I keep having the same dream that I'm a fat little white boy. 300 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:32,230 You ain't white, but you definitely fat. 301 00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:33,800 This is serious, Kyle! 302 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,040 It's more than a dream, it's becoming like real now! 303 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,540 I keep seeing all of you! 304 00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:40,610 Being replaced by little white motherfuckers! 305 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:43,280 Well, maybe you should try not being so racist, Cartman. 306 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,510 You can't be racist towards white people, Stan! 307 00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:48,750 They all honky-ass bitches! You know what this is? 308 00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:51,800 I think this is some alternate universe shit. 309 00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,620 Yeah, right, you just acting crazy 'cause you wanna 310 00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:57,420 - get sent home from school. - No, I'm not, Kyle! 311 00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:59,220 Yeah, bitch, you just wanna get sent home 312 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,430 so you can play Baldur's Gate 3. 313 00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,410 (yelling) 314 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:07,550 (yelling) 315 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,640 What the fuck? 316 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,540 Oh, my God, it's all real! 317 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:16,610 Whatever you're doing, Cartman, we ain't buyin' it. 318 00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:19,440 Stay away from me! You aren't my friends! Do you understand? 319 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,910 Is that supposed to be Cartman? 320 00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,620 It ain't Cartman but it's still fat. 321 00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:25,480 Just more like little round and fat. 322 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,520 Yeah, like Tammy Mullins' knockers. 323 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,820 Kenny! Brah. 324 00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:30,990 Chill with the knockers. Man! 325 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:33,330 No... 326 00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:35,740 No...! 327 00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:39,360 (school bell rings) 328 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,500 Okay, so Clyde says he can probably try to fart 329 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,270 on Tammy Mullins again during fourth period. 330 00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,200 But this time Kenny has to keep his mouth shut. 331 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,410 It's fine! I won't say anything, fine! 332 00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:49,570 He's gonna say something, he's totally in love with her. 333 00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:52,640 - No, I'm not! - You guys! You guys! 334 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,810 Holy shit, you guys, I fuckin' told you! 335 00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:57,600 I fuckin' told you this was happening, didn't I? 336 00:13:58,570 --> 00:13:59,650 Told us what was happening? 337 00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,350 I told you I was having all these dreams 338 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,890 that I was a fat little white boy 339 00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:04,860 and you guys were all white boys too and now look! 340 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,640 Y'all actually turned into 'em! 341 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,690 - Do we know you? - I'm Cartman. 342 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,600 And you're Kyle and you're Stan and you're fucking Kenny. 343 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,430 Only it's a parallel, alternated universe 344 00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:15,870 and y'all have been replaced. 345 00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:18,000 Uh, okay, cool lady. 346 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,770 We gotta get to class. 347 00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:21,410 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! 348 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,140 You guys are gonna listen to me this time! 349 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,110 I need help! 350 00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:27,050 Cartman's just messing with us. 351 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:28,280 Fuck you, Kyle! 352 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,810 This is serious, you fuckin' butt-fucker! 353 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,680 Yeah, listen, lady, we really gotta get going. 354 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,890 Will you guys fucking listen to me?! I'm Cartman! 355 00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:38,920 You're not Cartman and multiple universes are stupid. 356 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,480 Oh, goddamn it! 357 00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,660 Tom, I'm still here live at the scene. 358 00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:48,370 Dozens of white-collar workers are gathered hoping 359 00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:51,170 to get the attention of just one handyman. 360 00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,740 It's a scene of desperation and a reminder 361 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,660 of where our country's economy is headed. 362 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:02,660 - Hey! Hey, hey, hey! - (all clamoring) 363 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,450 Hey, hey! Excuse me, you're a handyman, right? 364 00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,990 Can I get you to come look at my oven door? 365 00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:10,620 I can trade you services. 366 00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:14,030 I have geology skills. Could you come fix my door 367 00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,760 and I'll give you some geology? 368 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,860 Hey, why don't you guys get outta here? 369 00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:22,220 You're making the Home Depot look all shitty. 370 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:26,040 Fuckin' rich assholes. 371 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,740 - (all grumbling) - Ugh, sucks. 372 00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:28,910 Aw, man. 373 00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,340 Boy, I wish I knew how to fix stuff. 374 00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,540 I'd be rich, too. 375 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,810 I could know how to fix stuff! 376 00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,810 The problem is when I could have been learning 377 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,090 how to fix stuff, I went to fucking college instead! 378 00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,520 Hey, yeah, he's right. 379 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,220 We all went to college, and where did it get us? 380 00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:46,620 Yeah, I'm still paying off my college loans. 381 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,630 Yeah, so am I! Now I don't know how to do anything 382 00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:52,400 'cause I got suckered into going to college and learning stupid 383 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,470 geology that anyone can know 'cause of goddamn AI! 384 00:15:55,670 --> 00:15:56,770 Yeah, fuck college! 385 00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:58,440 Let's go get our fucking money back! 386 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,740 - OTHERS: Yeah! - Yeah! Fuck college! 387 00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:02,760 - Come on, let's go! - (all clamoring) 388 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,310 (clamoring continues) 389 00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:08,750 - Stupid college! - You wasted our time! 390 00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:11,980 - Fuck you, college! - Piece of shit college! 391 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,490 Hey-hey, college! 392 00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:15,920 You know what you are?! You're a scam! 393 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,190 College is a scam! 394 00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:19,190 - (cheering) - OTHERS: Yeah! 395 00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:20,460 Yeah, that's right! 396 00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:21,590 Yeah, hey, college! 397 00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:23,230 Here's my student loan bill. 398 00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:25,160 That I'm still paying off! 399 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,680 Well, guess what, I'm not paying it! 400 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,500 - Yeah! - We don't owe you nothing! 401 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,370 - (all clamoring) - RANDY: Guess what, college?! 402 00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,840 We don't owe you money, you owe us money! 403 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,140 OTHERS: Yeah! 404 00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:40,260 Yeah, that's right! 405 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,080 You think you can just sit there and not even 406 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,750 respond to us, college? Okay! 407 00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:48,490 You aren't going to destroy any more lives! 408 00:16:48,690 --> 00:16:50,220 All right, bring in the catapult. 409 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:51,860 Bring in the catapult! 410 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:52,920 OTHERS: Yeah! 411 00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,290 Yeah, that's right! 412 00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:56,710 (grunting) 413 00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:02,850 - What's that? - That's the catapult. 414 00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:05,740 Well, but it's still in the box. 415 00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:08,240 Yeah, somebody's gotta put it together. 416 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,110 Well, how are we gonna... 417 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:11,510 Hang on, college! 418 00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:12,810 How're we gonna break the college if 419 00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:14,450 the catapult is still in the box? 420 00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:16,080 It's okay, we called the handyman. 421 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,330 He's gonna build it for us. 422 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,990 Hello, gentlemen, what seems to be the problem? 423 00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:28,660 Oh! Oh! 424 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,460 You said you couldn't work today. 425 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,400 You're supposed to fix my oven door! 426 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,170 I've got a lot of jobs there, buddy. 427 00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:35,570 This one paid the most today. 428 00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:38,100 We all pooled together and offered him $20,000. 429 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,770 $20,000? 430 00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:41,440 What the fuck are you guys doing?! 431 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,990 You're gonna make him totally impossible now! 432 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,240 (phone beeps) 433 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,650 All right, send Broflovski, Marsh and McKormick 434 00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,830 into my office, please. 435 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,120 Aw, what the hell? 436 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,650 Sit down, boys. One of our students here 437 00:17:54,850 --> 00:17:56,150 says you've been treating them unfairly. 438 00:17:56,350 --> 00:17:59,160 - Treating who unfairly? - We didn't do anything! 439 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,790 We're just minding our own business 440 00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:02,610 and she keeps saying she's Eric Cartman! 441 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,750 Okay. And what's wrong with that? 442 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,800 What's wrong is it doesn't make any sense. 443 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,400 Okay, I see. 444 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,070 There's a diverse female where Cartman used to be 445 00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:14,370 and you don't like that. 446 00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:16,470 It's not that we don't like it, it's... 447 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:17,780 don't you think that's weird? 448 00:18:17,980 --> 00:18:19,580 I don't see a problem with it at all. 449 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,380 And if you boys don't think Eric can be a Black woman, 450 00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,600 then maybe the problem is you. 451 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:25,750 What? 452 00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:27,020 You think it's perfectly normal 453 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,790 that Cartman is suddenly a Black woman? 454 00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,220 You probably don't like that Indiana Jones got replaced 455 00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,860 by a female either, huh? 456 00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:34,030 You probably have a problem with Black Spider-Man, too. 457 00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,730 No! Miles Morales is sweet. 458 00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:37,030 That's a whole constructed thing 459 00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:38,630 with its own character and narrative! 460 00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,730 This is just taking Cartman, same old Cartman, 461 00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:43,640 and putting a Black woman in it. 462 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,770 Well, you know what I think about that, Kyle? 463 00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:47,040 Hold on. Hold on. 464 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,510 - (farts) - (laughs) 465 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,140 That's what I think about that, Kyle! (laughs) 466 00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:51,480 Goddamn it, Cartman! 467 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,180 Dude, what the fuck is going on?! 468 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,910 I'll tell you what's going on. 469 00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:56,780 You boys feel that your white culture is being threatened 470 00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,580 and so you're lashing out with racism. 471 00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,450 And if you say anything more about 472 00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:02,150 a Black woman Cartman not making any sense, 473 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,160 then you can all just have three weeks' detention! 474 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,590 Now get out of my office! 475 00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,360 - Goddamn it! - (laughs) 476 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,230 Fuck you, Kyle. You have to help me! 477 00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:11,300 How's that fart feeling on your face right now? 478 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,660 KYLE: Shut up! 479 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,850 CARTMAN: Na-na-na-na-na. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. 480 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:21,840 (overlapping chatter) 481 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,080 (Cartman moaning) 482 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,880 And we both told Clyde, "Okay, you can try to fart 483 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,850 on Tammy Mullins later. Kenny won't tell her." 484 00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:32,680 And guess what? This little motherfucker does it again! 485 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,120 I'm sorry. She hypnotized me. 486 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,820 Everyone's trying to enjoy themselves, dude. 487 00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,860 Why do you keep fucking it up? 488 00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,660 Hey, who's the fat little white boy? 489 00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,760 Who knows? White heterosexual males 490 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,460 think they're welcome anywhere. 491 00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:47,400 - (moaning) - (bell chimes) 492 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,070 Okay, children, let's take our seats. 493 00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:53,140 Today we're going to talk more about female exclusion 494 00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:54,710 in the male patriarchy. 495 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:56,510 (moaning) 496 00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:59,610 Uh, Butters, who is that sitting next to you? 497 00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,850 Oh, I don't know, ma'am. 498 00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:03,050 I think it's supposed to be Eric. 499 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,650 I am Eric! 500 00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:06,880 All Cartman cares about is playing Baldur's Gate 3. 501 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,090 So the bitch did a switcheroo with Spanky here. 502 00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,720 That is not what's going on! 503 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,990 And I am not going to sit here and be insulted anymore! 504 00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:14,730 I am a respected citizen in my universe 505 00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:17,060 and I demand to speak to someone with authority! 506 00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:20,720 - (radio static) - Is there a problem here? 507 00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:24,820 No! 508 00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:28,490 (tool whirring) 509 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,010 Eight years. 510 00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:34,010 Eight years I spent wasting time at stupid college 511 00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:36,080 when I could have been learning how to do stuff. 512 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,480 All the time we spent memorizing, studying-- for what? 513 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,920 Anyone gets any info they want with the touch of a button now. 514 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,520 All right, I think she's ready to go. 515 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,630 - It's ready! It's ready! - (all clamoring) 516 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,560 Okay, okay, aim it at the center of the school. 517 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,060 How do we fire it? 518 00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:54,170 There's a big red button here. Should I press it? 519 00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:56,050 Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip! 520 00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,810 - Yeah! Yeah! - (all cheering) 521 00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:07,380 Yeah, take that, college! 522 00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:09,110 Let's see them ignore that! 523 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,480 I can't wait to see what they do now. 524 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,590 - Yeah! - Yeah! 525 00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,200 Hey-hey, wait, what's that? 526 00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:23,240 Hey! Hey, no, you son of a bitch! 527 00:21:24,710 --> 00:21:27,130 GERALD: He's just gonna fix the glass! 528 00:21:27,330 --> 00:21:28,600 Ugh! 529 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,930 You fucking give these billionaires your money 530 00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:31,470 and then another billionaire just comes 531 00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:33,240 and profits off of that. 532 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,690 Society is so fucked up! 533 00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:44,780 Something is wrong with the universe. 534 00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:46,580 Our stocks are down and every Disney movie 535 00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,250 this year has failed! 536 00:21:48,450 --> 00:21:49,890 We don't understand it, sir. 537 00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,160 We keep making the same movie over and over 538 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,290 and pandering to everyone but suddenly it's not working. 539 00:21:55,490 --> 00:21:57,730 Then we've got to pander harder! 540 00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,100 Look, I don't want to have to say it, but... 541 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:03,150 I think the problem is Kathleen Kennedy. 542 00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,310 Kathleen Kennedy has made studios a lot of money. 543 00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:10,910 Yes, before. But you have to admit something's changed. 544 00:22:11,110 --> 00:22:13,480 For weeks now she's been completely different. 545 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,980 - It's true. - What if... 546 00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:18,970 this is a different Kathleen Kennedy? 547 00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:21,750 What are you saying, Rick? 548 00:22:21,950 --> 00:22:23,760 I'm just saying isn't it possible 549 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,420 that we here at Disney pandered so much... 550 00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:29,980 that we've opened a doorway to the panderverse. 551 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,430 The panderverse is just a theory! 552 00:22:32,630 --> 00:22:35,530 And yet we do have the panderstone downstairs. 553 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:38,970 It's possible that someone has tampered with it somehow. 554 00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:40,870 Well, she's on her way in right now. 555 00:22:41,070 --> 00:22:43,040 If you wanna tell Kathleen Kennedy you think 556 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,710 she's from an alternate universe, 557 00:22:44,910 --> 00:22:47,750 because we misused the panderstone, go right ahead! 558 00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:51,030 (doors creak open) 559 00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,670 Is there a problem, people? 560 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,930 No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy. 561 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,860 We were just discussing ideas 562 00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:05,730 of what to do with the new Prince Eric movie. 563 00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:07,900 Put a chick in it, make her gay! 564 00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:12,400 Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy, uh, some of the execs are just 565 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,110 - expressing that maybe-- - Well, that maybe we should go 566 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,580 a different route than we did with Indiana Jones. 567 00:23:17,780 --> 00:23:18,940 Fuck Indiana Jones! 568 00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:21,200 Put a chick in it and make her lame and gay! 569 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,250 Sure. Yeah. 570 00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:27,200 Let's try that... again. 571 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,890 * * 572 00:23:31,090 --> 00:23:33,270 (indistinct chatter) 573 00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:36,860 And then... and then there was, like, this ball 574 00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:38,430 and then Eric floated up 575 00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:40,060 into this portal and disappeared! 576 00:23:40,260 --> 00:23:41,700 I don't care what you saw, Butters, 577 00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:42,930 there's gotta be a better explanation 578 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,840 than just the stupid multiverse. 579 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,540 Some multiverse stuff is cool. 580 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:48,210 Yeah, it can be cool for, like, one movie. 581 00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:49,940 Now it's just this cheap device that people use 582 00:23:50,140 --> 00:23:51,980 to breathe life into tired franchises. 583 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:54,200 What are you guys talking about? 584 00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:59,120 Uh, we were just talking about how amazing this all is. 585 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,750 Okay, I've been trying to think 586 00:24:00,950 --> 00:24:02,190 about what we should do, you guys. 587 00:24:02,390 --> 00:24:03,890 I think I know how to make everything right, 588 00:24:04,090 --> 00:24:05,620 but we're gonna need a really powerful computer. 589 00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,060 Are you gonna eat your brownie, Kenny? 590 00:24:07,260 --> 00:24:08,590 Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie! 591 00:24:08,790 --> 00:24:10,700 Okay, fine, so we'll take you to the computer lab. 592 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:11,960 No, no, no, no, for this, 593 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,500 we gotta get a really powerful system. 594 00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:16,070 Is Kyle's mom still a big fat bitch in this universe? 595 00:24:16,270 --> 00:24:18,170 What? My mom's not a bitch. 596 00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:20,400 Well, I mean, she is kind of bitchy. 597 00:24:20,610 --> 00:24:21,940 She's a big dumb bitch, huh? 598 00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:24,040 What does calling my mom a bitch have to do with anything? 599 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,340 Because we could fake a letter from Kyle's mom 600 00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:28,410 giving Kyle permission to use her credit card number 601 00:24:28,610 --> 00:24:30,880 to buy all the stuff we need at Best Buy. 602 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,850 I mean, PC Principal did say we have to help him. 603 00:24:34,050 --> 00:24:36,020 Her. Them. It. 604 00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:37,960 That's the dumbest idea ever! 605 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,260 I don't even know what my mom's credit number is! 606 00:24:40,460 --> 00:24:41,690 8-7-1-5... 607 00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:42,960 3-2-7... 608 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:43,760 4-9-2... 609 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,260 2-1-0-0-7. 610 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:46,850 I use it all the time. 611 00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:53,790 - (phones ringing) - (keyboards clacking) 612 00:24:56,790 --> 00:24:58,960 All right. Full name? 613 00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:02,080 What is your name, sir? 614 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,120 I told them already my name is Eric Cartman. 615 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,320 We know Eric Cartman, okay? 616 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,120 Eric Cartman is in here all the time getting in trouble. 617 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,990 That's because I'm from a different universe! 618 00:25:12,190 --> 00:25:13,460 How many times do I have to tell you people? 619 00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:15,060 The Disney company tried to use their platform 620 00:25:15,260 --> 00:25:17,760 to bring about social change and I got fucked. 621 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,800 Hey, Chief. Chief, you gotta hear this one. 622 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,630 What is it, Johnston? 623 00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:24,070 Aw, God. 624 00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:26,040 This little white boy claims he's actually 625 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,510 from a different universe. 626 00:25:27,710 --> 00:25:28,940 Is that so? 627 00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:30,310 All right, honkey, what kind of narcotics 628 00:25:30,510 --> 00:25:33,110 are you on? Did you do a cavity search? 629 00:25:33,310 --> 00:25:34,780 Have you even said what you've arrested me for? 630 00:25:34,980 --> 00:25:37,210 I come from a place where this is extremely inappropriate. 631 00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:39,750 - OFFICER: Chief! Hey, Chief! - Yeah? 632 00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:41,850 There's some crazy white lady downstairs 633 00:25:42,050 --> 00:25:43,960 freakin' out and saying she needs to talk to you. 634 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,290 More honkies? 635 00:25:45,490 --> 00:25:47,020 What is this, a Taylor Swift concert? 636 00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:48,960 Tell the nice lady I'll see her after I'm done 637 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,800 with "Eric Cartman" here. 638 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,260 Well, that's just it, Chief. 639 00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:54,670 She's sayin' she's looking for an Eric Cartman. 640 00:25:54,870 --> 00:25:56,630 Says her name is Kathleen Kennedy. 641 00:25:56,830 --> 00:25:59,600 Kathleen Kennedy?! No! 642 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,470 She's gonna try to change me, too! I'm the only one left! 643 00:26:01,670 --> 00:26:04,830 - Hey, get back here! - She's gonna get me! 644 00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:09,650 - (clamoring) - Tom, I'm standing outside 645 00:26:09,850 --> 00:26:12,980 the South Park Country Club where protestors have gathered 646 00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:15,450 to point out the unfairness in our economy. 647 00:26:15,650 --> 00:26:18,490 The White House says they're doing all they can but it's been 648 00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:22,260 several days now and my bathroom tile still is not installed. 649 00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:25,530 Yeah, that's right. You see, the whole system is rigged. 650 00:26:25,730 --> 00:26:28,300 You've got people like us who just need our stuff fixed, 651 00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,500 and meanwhile there's these billionaires 652 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:31,800 that have all the control! 653 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,200 Did you know that if just 654 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,810 one of these billionaires spread their wealth, 655 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,270 - (phone ringing) - it would mean thousands to every per-- 656 00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:38,710 it would mean thousands to every-- 657 00:26:38,910 --> 00:26:40,140 Sorry, hang on, just a second. 658 00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:41,650 Yeah? 659 00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,920 Hey, Ran, the oven door still isn't shutting right. 660 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,880 Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon! 661 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,150 I'm actually working on it right now! 662 00:26:48,350 --> 00:26:49,990 Hey, one of them's coming out! 663 00:26:50,190 --> 00:26:51,390 (all clamoring) 664 00:26:51,590 --> 00:26:53,190 Please, just glance at my water pressure! 665 00:26:53,390 --> 00:26:55,730 Mr. Fix It, can you please tell us why you haven't been 666 00:26:55,930 --> 00:26:57,360 responding to people's calls? 667 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,260 Well, I've just been busy with my various assets. 668 00:27:00,460 --> 00:27:02,000 You see, I've been trying to acquire 669 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,840 some social media platforms. I just bought Instagram. 670 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,170 What? The country needs stuff fixed. 671 00:27:08,370 --> 00:27:11,010 Why the fuck are you out buying Instagram?! 672 00:27:11,210 --> 00:27:12,530 (tires screech) 673 00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:16,950 Hey, did you just outbid me to acquire Instagram? 674 00:27:17,150 --> 00:27:18,350 Yeah, I outbid you. 675 00:27:18,550 --> 00:27:21,050 I own Instagram now and you don't! 676 00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,790 Oh, yeah? Well, I just acquired 677 00:27:22,990 --> 00:27:24,890 the entire Bloomberg media company! 678 00:27:25,090 --> 00:27:26,520 Oh, yeah? Well, I can kick your ass. 679 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,190 You wanna fight me MMA? 680 00:27:28,390 --> 00:27:30,290 Yeah, I'll fight you MMA, let's do it. 681 00:27:30,490 --> 00:27:32,100 What the hell are they doing now? 682 00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:33,670 I'm just gonna make a company 683 00:27:33,870 --> 00:27:35,270 and I'm gonna fly to space! 684 00:27:35,470 --> 00:27:37,530 I bet I can get to space before you do! 685 00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:41,120 Gal! Fuck these guys! 686 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,180 She has all the right things in her purse. 687 00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:50,150 Her driver's license says Kathleen Kennedy, 688 00:27:50,350 --> 00:27:52,250 she has Kathleen Kennedy credit cards. 689 00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:54,950 This is definitely all the same makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses. 690 00:27:55,150 --> 00:27:58,090 I mean, according to this, she really is Kathleen Kennedy. 691 00:27:58,290 --> 00:28:00,830 Or Kathleen Kennedy from another universe. 692 00:28:01,030 --> 00:28:02,590 That's enough! Please! 693 00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:04,930 We're not going to waste our time chasing 694 00:28:05,130 --> 00:28:06,700 after wild scientific theories! 695 00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:07,930 Well, we have to do something. 696 00:28:08,130 --> 00:28:10,070 Kathleen Kennedy is down on set right now 697 00:28:10,270 --> 00:28:11,970 ruining the new Bambi movie! 698 00:28:12,170 --> 00:28:14,410 Put a diverse woman in it, make it lame! 699 00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:18,010 But Mrs. Kennedy, Bam-Bambi's a baby deer. 700 00:28:18,210 --> 00:28:21,080 Fuck baby deer! Put a chick in it, make her gay! 701 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,350 You guys, you better come take a look at this. 702 00:28:23,550 --> 00:28:26,450 I don't think we are dealing with our Kathleen Kennedy. 703 00:28:26,650 --> 00:28:28,720 I took images of Mrs. Kennedy and put them 704 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,120 against images of her from a few months ago. 705 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,760 With AI we could detect the smallest irregularities. 706 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,580 Take a look. 707 00:28:43,350 --> 00:28:46,600 All right. What do we know about the panderverse? 708 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,010 I'm afraid we know... 709 00:28:48,210 --> 00:28:49,440 frighteningly little. 710 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,210 The only thing we know for sure 711 00:28:52,410 --> 00:28:54,280 is that if a portal were somehow opened 712 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:55,650 with the panderstone, 713 00:28:55,850 --> 00:28:58,420 then both universes eventually will collide, 714 00:28:58,620 --> 00:29:02,220 leading to a level of pandering we can't even fathom. 715 00:29:02,420 --> 00:29:04,120 That we know for sure. Yes. 716 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,320 IGER: Then we have to get everyone 717 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,260 back to the right universe. 718 00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:11,050 Before it's complete pandermonium. 719 00:29:22,860 --> 00:29:25,510 Okay, Kenny, switch on the power supply. 720 00:29:25,710 --> 00:29:28,110 Stan, make sure we've got ethernet! 721 00:29:28,310 --> 00:29:29,650 - All good. - All right, 722 00:29:29,850 --> 00:29:30,950 let's just hope this works. 723 00:29:31,150 --> 00:29:33,050 Oh, man, what the hell? 724 00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:35,520 Dude, Kyle, what is up with your Internet speed? 725 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,760 Go tell your parents to upgrade your Internet speed. 726 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,020 No! 727 00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:40,490 Kyle, I know you're afraid of your mom 728 00:29:40,690 --> 00:29:42,760 'cause she's a fat bitch, but we have to do this. 729 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,260 Stop calling my mom a bitch! 730 00:29:44,460 --> 00:29:46,360 - (knocking) - Kyle! 731 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,230 I just got an alert that someone used 732 00:29:48,430 --> 00:29:50,100 my credit card at Best Buy?! 733 00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:53,370 Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski. 734 00:29:53,570 --> 00:29:56,340 My goodness, you're looking nice today. 735 00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:57,940 What? 736 00:29:58,140 --> 00:29:59,840 You know, credit card fraud 737 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,450 is very serious, Mrs. Broflovski. 738 00:30:01,650 --> 00:30:03,380 You should call your Internet company right away 739 00:30:03,580 --> 00:30:06,050 and up your speed and make sure you're protected. 740 00:30:06,250 --> 00:30:09,090 Really? Kyle, who is this? 741 00:30:09,290 --> 00:30:11,060 Oh, haven't you heard, Mom? 742 00:30:11,260 --> 00:30:12,920 We're in a multiverse and this is 743 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,510 supposed to be Eric Cartman. 744 00:30:15,310 --> 00:30:16,690 Oh, okay, I'm fine with that. 745 00:30:16,890 --> 00:30:19,030 I better go call the Internet company. 746 00:30:19,230 --> 00:30:20,430 What do you mean you're fine with that? 747 00:30:20,630 --> 00:30:23,100 I think all this stuff is great, Kyle. 748 00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:25,200 And what "all stuff" is that, exactly? 749 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,070 Ha! It worked. 750 00:30:27,270 --> 00:30:28,970 She's gonna call the Internet company. 751 00:30:29,170 --> 00:30:31,540 Your mom is such a dumb bitch, Kyle! 752 00:30:31,740 --> 00:30:32,980 Shut up, Cartman! 753 00:30:33,180 --> 00:30:36,650 * Loo, loo, loo, I got some apples * 754 00:30:36,850 --> 00:30:40,550 * Loo, loo, loo, you got some, too * 755 00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:43,720 * Loo, loo, loo, let's make some applesauce... * 756 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,220 - Butters. - (yells) 757 00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:46,660 Butters! Butters, listen to me. 758 00:30:46,860 --> 00:30:49,260 - It's me, Eric. - You-You-You're not Eric! 759 00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:50,660 Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters. 760 00:30:50,860 --> 00:30:52,230 Kathleen Kennedy is trying to get me. 761 00:30:52,430 --> 00:30:53,900 She won't stop until her master plan is complete. 762 00:30:54,100 --> 00:30:56,930 I'm not supposed to have anyone in my room, I'm grounded! 763 00:30:57,130 --> 00:30:59,340 Butters, Disney is going to get me. They already got you! 764 00:30:59,540 --> 00:31:00,870 (gasps) They did?! 765 00:31:01,070 --> 00:31:02,370 We are in this together, Butters. 766 00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:03,840 You have to keep me safe until I can 767 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,840 - figure out how we're gonna-- - (knocking) 768 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,980 She's here! Butters, don't let her get me. 769 00:31:09,180 --> 00:31:11,650 - (knocking) - VOICE: Butters?! 770 00:31:11,850 --> 00:31:15,220 Butters! Why didn't you answer this door? 771 00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:16,890 Oh. Hey, Dad. 772 00:31:17,090 --> 00:31:19,790 What are you doing up here? And why do you look so scared? 773 00:31:19,990 --> 00:31:23,860 Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just, uh, I'm just having fun. 774 00:31:24,060 --> 00:31:25,260 Well, no having fun. 775 00:31:25,460 --> 00:31:28,000 You are grounded. Start being more miserable. 776 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,300 - Dad? - Yes, Butters? 777 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,140 Uh, could you check under my bed and make sure 778 00:31:33,340 --> 00:31:34,740 Kathleen Kennedy isn't there? 779 00:31:34,940 --> 00:31:37,270 Butters, what have I told you about being more mature? 780 00:31:37,470 --> 00:31:39,410 I can assure you Kathleen Kennedy 781 00:31:39,610 --> 00:31:41,630 is not under your bed! 782 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,520 (muffled groaning) 783 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,920 (both screaming) 784 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,020 That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy! 785 00:31:48,220 --> 00:31:49,020 Right fucking there! 786 00:31:49,220 --> 00:31:50,440 (both screaming) 787 00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:53,120 You! Come here! 788 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:54,990 No, no, no, no, no! 789 00:31:55,190 --> 00:31:57,390 (grunting) 790 00:31:57,590 --> 00:32:00,450 No, no! No, no, no! 791 00:32:09,820 --> 00:32:11,490 (sputters) 792 00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:14,550 Well, Shelley, 793 00:32:14,750 --> 00:32:16,680 we need to talk about your future. 794 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,850 You see, there's very few people at the top these days. 795 00:32:20,050 --> 00:32:22,490 AI can do everything better than we can, 796 00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:25,470 except for stuff that requires arms. 797 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,230 I don't want you to end up a deadbeat loser 798 00:32:29,430 --> 00:32:30,930 who goes to college, Shelley. 799 00:32:31,130 --> 00:32:32,660 You need to stay out of school, 800 00:32:32,860 --> 00:32:35,570 and instead go out and be taught real skills that will 801 00:32:35,770 --> 00:32:38,800 still be profitable in this post-AI universe. 802 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,910 So what you do is you take out your phone and you call 803 00:32:43,110 --> 00:32:46,440 the handyman, and see if those rich people will have 804 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,700 any internships or training programs available for you. 805 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,850 (panel chirps) 806 00:32:57,050 --> 00:32:59,390 Handyman service, how can I help you? 807 00:32:59,590 --> 00:33:01,090 RANDY: Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh. 808 00:33:01,290 --> 00:33:03,690 I was wondering if you might have any internships 809 00:33:03,890 --> 00:33:05,100 available for my daughter-- 810 00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:06,530 Hey! What in tarnation?! 811 00:33:06,730 --> 00:33:09,300 I told you I'd beat you, you son' bitch! 812 00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:12,500 You ain't beatin' me! Turn up them thrusters! 813 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,240 My galactic cruiser's bigger than yours! 814 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:15,570 H-Hello? 815 00:33:15,770 --> 00:33:16,770 Get out my way, you little pecker! 816 00:33:16,970 --> 00:33:18,210 Hello? Never mind. 817 00:33:18,410 --> 00:33:21,430 The rich people are all just fucking around in space. 818 00:33:22,830 --> 00:33:24,670 (rumbling) 819 00:33:25,570 --> 00:33:27,020 What the hell was that? 820 00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:30,120 I'm getting significantly strong readings from the panderstone. 821 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,990 Mr. Iger. We may have a solution. 822 00:33:32,190 --> 00:33:34,860 If this Kathleen Kennedy here is from somewhere else, then 823 00:33:35,060 --> 00:33:37,890 there has to be a match for her somewhere in our universe. 824 00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,500 So what we can do 825 00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:42,630 is use an AI program that can take every image ever put 826 00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:45,820 on the Internet to try and find a match to our image. 827 00:33:46,620 --> 00:33:48,440 ROBOTIC VOICE: Different, different, different, 828 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,370 different, different, different, different, 829 00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:52,980 different, different, different... 830 00:33:53,180 --> 00:33:54,650 Same. 831 00:33:54,850 --> 00:33:56,810 IGER: Eric Cartman. 832 00:33:57,010 --> 00:33:58,320 South Park Elementary. 833 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,320 Evans, Mallory, come with me. 834 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,650 The rest of you, don't let Kathleen Kennedy 835 00:34:02,850 --> 00:34:04,020 find out what we're up to. 836 00:34:04,220 --> 00:34:06,620 It's okay, we're keeping Mrs. Kennedy distracted. 837 00:34:06,820 --> 00:34:09,440 We've sent her away to have lunch at Spago. 838 00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:12,450 (classical music playing) 839 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,130 There you are, Mrs. Kennedy, 840 00:34:15,330 --> 00:34:16,830 the linguini and clam sauce. 841 00:34:17,030 --> 00:34:18,340 Uh, excuse me? 842 00:34:18,540 --> 00:34:20,070 I believe I asked you to put a chick in this 843 00:34:20,270 --> 00:34:21,870 - and make her gay? - Uh... 844 00:34:22,070 --> 00:34:24,410 Yes, the chef was a little confused what you meant by that. 845 00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:27,310 It means put a chick in the linguini 846 00:34:27,510 --> 00:34:29,860 and make her fucking gay! 847 00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:32,900 And I want it lame! 848 00:34:38,570 --> 00:34:39,790 (screaming) 849 00:34:39,990 --> 00:34:43,130 She's gonna get me! She's gonna get me! 850 00:34:43,330 --> 00:34:44,610 (horn blaring) 851 00:34:46,510 --> 00:34:48,080 (screams) 852 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,490 No, no, no, no, no! 853 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,410 Hey, who's that, Ned? 854 00:34:56,610 --> 00:34:58,080 I'm not sure. 855 00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,860 No! 856 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,720 There he is! Get him! 857 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,570 (screams) 858 00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:15,540 No. Oh, my God, please, no! 859 00:35:17,340 --> 00:35:19,260 No...! 860 00:35:19,460 --> 00:35:20,810 Which way did they go? 861 00:35:21,950 --> 00:35:22,670 (gasps) 862 00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:25,240 We have to work together. 863 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,870 Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy! Stay away, you fuckin' bitch! 864 00:35:28,070 --> 00:35:31,460 I'm in the same situation you are, Eric! 865 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,250 I know you're in the wrong universe. 866 00:35:36,450 --> 00:35:38,630 So am I. 867 00:35:45,570 --> 00:35:49,030 Well, there's no other way to put it. 868 00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:50,710 They have us over a barrel. 869 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,600 We give these billionaires all our money, rely on them, 870 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,290 and so they can do whatever they want. 871 00:35:59,050 --> 00:36:02,740 Let's just face it, we're never gonna get our stuff fixed. 872 00:36:02,940 --> 00:36:04,410 Yeah. 873 00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:08,810 And I guess it's nobody's fault but our own. 874 00:36:09,010 --> 00:36:10,410 Excuse me? 875 00:36:10,610 --> 00:36:11,750 My name is Bob Iger 876 00:36:11,950 --> 00:36:13,350 from the Disney entertainment company. 877 00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:15,750 We're looking for an Eric Cartman. 878 00:36:15,950 --> 00:36:18,690 Our universe has been manipulated with. 879 00:36:18,890 --> 00:36:21,110 Have you all noticed anything strange? 880 00:36:23,710 --> 00:36:26,960 Yes. Yes, the world is completely upside down! 881 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,400 Nothing makes sense! 882 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,100 It's because there's some kind of 883 00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:31,640 disruption in the panderverse. 884 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,370 We believe Kathleen Kennedy has opened a portal. 885 00:36:34,570 --> 00:36:36,970 This is all Kathleen Kennedy's fault? 886 00:36:37,170 --> 00:36:39,440 This is all Kathleen Kennedy's fault! 887 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:40,680 Who's Kathleen Kennedy? 888 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,010 One of the top executives at Disney. 889 00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,620 It's not us, you guys. 890 00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,780 I knew there was an explanation! 891 00:36:46,980 --> 00:36:48,720 We didn't waste our time at college! 892 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,090 We didn't get lazy from technology! 893 00:36:51,290 --> 00:36:53,890 Everything is Kathleen Kennedy's fault! 894 00:36:54,090 --> 00:36:56,810 (all cheering) 895 00:36:57,610 --> 00:37:00,850 Follow me. I'll help you find Eric. 896 00:37:01,650 --> 00:37:03,970 Okay, okay, everything is finally loaded. 897 00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:05,770 We got Internet at full capacity. 898 00:37:05,970 --> 00:37:07,140 You guys ready to see if this works? 899 00:37:07,340 --> 00:37:09,210 - BOTH: Yeah! - All right, let's do this! 900 00:37:09,410 --> 00:37:10,910 Launching Steam now. 901 00:37:11,110 --> 00:37:12,040 Steam? 902 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:13,540 Okay. I'm in Steam. 903 00:37:13,740 --> 00:37:14,810 Got the application ready to go. 904 00:37:15,010 --> 00:37:16,530 The title screen is launching! 905 00:37:18,730 --> 00:37:20,780 It's working. It's working, you guys! 906 00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:22,220 It looks sweet on this big monitor! 907 00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:24,690 Wait a minute. You mean this entire time, 908 00:37:24,890 --> 00:37:26,520 all you've wanted to do is play Baldur's Gate 3? 909 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:28,230 Yeah. What'd you think I was trying to do? 910 00:37:28,430 --> 00:37:30,130 We thought you were trying to set up some elaborate 911 00:37:30,330 --> 00:37:31,760 system to get back to your universe! 912 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,930 I ain't no quantum astro physicist. 913 00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:36,670 The fuck I know about how the multiverse works? 914 00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:39,370 Wow. It really is Cartman. 915 00:37:39,570 --> 00:37:41,050 All right, that does it! 916 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,710 Get out of my room! 917 00:37:43,910 --> 00:37:46,210 You have to be cool to me, Kyle. PC Principal says so. 918 00:37:46,410 --> 00:37:49,380 I don't care! All this multiple universe stuff is tired and lazy 919 00:37:49,580 --> 00:37:51,250 and we are not doing it anymore! 920 00:37:51,450 --> 00:37:52,850 Boys! Boys, 921 00:37:53,050 --> 00:37:54,590 we need to help Disney put our universe back together. 922 00:37:54,790 --> 00:37:56,090 Where's Eric Cartman? 923 00:37:56,290 --> 00:37:57,820 Dad, this might be hard to understand, 924 00:37:58,020 --> 00:37:59,420 but this is Eric Cartman. 925 00:37:59,620 --> 00:38:01,060 Oh, okay, great. Come on, Eric, 926 00:38:01,260 --> 00:38:02,590 - we need to go. - (Kyle groans) 927 00:38:02,790 --> 00:38:05,130 We have to hurry, Eric. 928 00:38:05,330 --> 00:38:06,900 No. No, wait. 929 00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:09,000 Something's wrong. Oh, my God! 930 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,270 - What is it? - My save game. 931 00:38:11,470 --> 00:38:13,670 I'm already like 50 hours into Baldur's Gate 3 932 00:38:13,870 --> 00:38:16,040 but it's saying that I have to start a new game. 933 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,710 Do save games not cross between multiple universes? 934 00:38:18,910 --> 00:38:19,980 Save games don't even cross between 935 00:38:20,180 --> 00:38:21,610 PCs and PS5s, why would they cross 936 00:38:21,810 --> 00:38:23,060 between multiple universes? 937 00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:25,250 No...! 938 00:38:25,450 --> 00:38:26,920 Please, everyone. We are running out of time! 939 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,820 We have to close the panderverse before 940 00:38:29,020 --> 00:38:30,590 everything we care about is destroyed! 941 00:38:30,790 --> 00:38:31,760 So what do we have to do? 942 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,060 We have to get everyone 943 00:38:33,260 --> 00:38:34,830 back to the proper place, but to breach 944 00:38:35,030 --> 00:38:36,630 the panderverse, we need to find a place 945 00:38:36,830 --> 00:38:39,080 with integrity that has a broken door. 946 00:38:39,980 --> 00:38:43,430 A place with "integridy" that has a broken door. 947 00:38:43,630 --> 00:38:46,120 I know where to go. 948 00:38:48,190 --> 00:38:50,570 So, yeah, so it's just basically off the hinges. 949 00:38:50,770 --> 00:38:52,580 I'd fix it myself but I've been really busy. 950 00:38:52,780 --> 00:38:54,040 Do you think it'll work? 951 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:55,610 If we're to try to open a panderverse portal, 952 00:38:55,810 --> 00:38:57,650 it's as good as any place, I suppose. 953 00:38:57,850 --> 00:38:59,580 Okay, people, we don't have much time. 954 00:38:59,780 --> 00:39:02,800 Bring in the panderstone. 955 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,690 (bicycle bell dings) 956 00:39:05,890 --> 00:39:07,860 I'm not your enemy, Eric. 957 00:39:08,060 --> 00:39:10,130 For some reason fate has put us together. 958 00:39:10,330 --> 00:39:12,700 What do you want from me, Kathleen Kennedy? 959 00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:15,000 I've been stuck in this universe for months. 960 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,070 I want out of here just as much as you do. 961 00:39:17,270 --> 00:39:20,100 Hello, welcome to City Woke, can I take your order, please? 962 00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:21,270 Ugh. 963 00:39:21,470 --> 00:39:23,110 We're just having tea, thank you. 964 00:39:23,310 --> 00:39:25,110 Okay, you just wanna tea and talk about 965 00:39:25,310 --> 00:39:27,410 shitty male-dominated society, that's fine. 966 00:39:27,610 --> 00:39:29,450 I don't get it, this is exactly the kind of 967 00:39:29,650 --> 00:39:31,250 universe you wanted, why would you want to leave? 968 00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:35,170 To stop her from undoing the panderverse completely. 969 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,590 I saw the panderstone for the first time 970 00:39:40,790 --> 00:39:41,990 a few years ago. 971 00:39:42,190 --> 00:39:44,130 Bob Iger took us to the Disney archives 972 00:39:44,330 --> 00:39:47,200 and showed us an ancient piece of artificial intelligence 973 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,030 that could be used to make the same movies over 974 00:39:50,230 --> 00:39:53,920 and over again while appealing to absolutely everyone. 975 00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,270 The panderstone worked great, for a while. 976 00:39:57,470 --> 00:40:00,540 But then came the hate mail. Ugly letters from racists 977 00:40:00,740 --> 00:40:02,680 who couldn't stand that some of the panderstone's 978 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,620 rehashes had diverse women characters in the lead. 979 00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:09,250 I decided I would show them. I would start making movies 980 00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:11,290 to fight all the bigotry in our society. 981 00:40:11,490 --> 00:40:13,490 But instead of doing any real work, 982 00:40:13,690 --> 00:40:18,860 I turned to the panderstone. It made things so much easier. 983 00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:21,400 Soon, I was using the panderstone over 984 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,570 and over again to try and fight all the ugly feedback, 985 00:40:24,770 --> 00:40:27,620 which in turn was growing stronger and stronger. 986 00:40:28,390 --> 00:40:30,910 But I was fighting with the wrong tool. 987 00:40:31,110 --> 00:40:32,710 I used the panderstone to the point 988 00:40:32,910 --> 00:40:35,230 - that it became unstable. - (whooshing) 989 00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:37,880 It opened a portal to multiple universes, 990 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,800 and something came through. 991 00:40:48,540 --> 00:40:51,760 At first we fought. I tried to send it back to its universe. 992 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,460 But it got the upper hand. 993 00:40:53,660 --> 00:40:56,100 It was able instead to send me to this universe, 994 00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:58,920 out of its way so it could thrive in ours. 995 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,840 (sighs) That's actually the best explanation 996 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,280 I've heard as to why Disney movies all suck now. 997 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,430 (typing) 998 00:41:10,330 --> 00:41:11,780 All right, I've set the panderstone 999 00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:13,520 into the compromised doorway. 1000 00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:15,870 Activating the panderstone now. 1001 00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:18,250 Whoa! 1002 00:41:18,450 --> 00:41:19,920 Space-time portal is manifesting! 1003 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,590 Panderverse quantum fields are aligned! 1004 00:41:21,790 --> 00:41:24,190 Yeah, that sounds like typical multiverse gobbledygook. 1005 00:41:24,390 --> 00:41:26,360 Will you stop ripping on multiple universes, Kyle? 1006 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,160 I'm trying to get back to Baldur's Gate. 1007 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,300 Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh, once inside the panderverse, 1008 00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:33,170 you will be falling through different realities. 1009 00:41:33,370 --> 00:41:35,310 Your mind will barely be able to comprehend 1010 00:41:35,510 --> 00:41:37,910 - what you are experiencing. - SHARON: Randy? 1011 00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:40,140 I think the oven door is still having problems if you-- 1012 00:41:40,340 --> 00:41:43,130 I am working on it, Sharon! 1013 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,620 The portal is at full. This might be our only shot! 1014 00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:49,520 Good luck, Mr. Marsh! 1015 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,400 Whoa! 1016 00:41:53,310 --> 00:41:54,560 (screaming) 1017 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,880 Hold on to the rope! 1018 00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:00,500 Oh, whoa! 1019 00:42:00,700 --> 00:42:02,400 Oh, my God. 1020 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,070 Whoa! 1021 00:42:05,270 --> 00:42:07,570 Whoa. 1022 00:42:07,770 --> 00:42:09,670 (grunting) 1023 00:42:09,870 --> 00:42:12,510 Oh, God, it's so weird. 1024 00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:14,510 Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts! 1025 00:42:14,710 --> 00:42:16,650 (yelling) 1026 00:42:16,850 --> 00:42:17,780 Can you imagine it? 1027 00:42:17,980 --> 00:42:19,480 An infinite number of universes 1028 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,690 with infinite combinations of pants and shirts. 1029 00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:24,970 What do you think about multiple universes now, boys? 1030 00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:27,460 Yeah, they're pretty fucking stupid. 1031 00:42:27,660 --> 00:42:28,560 Yeah. 1032 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,090 I understand that maybe 1033 00:42:30,290 --> 00:42:31,860 you were trying to make a difference, Kathleen. 1034 00:42:32,060 --> 00:42:33,830 But you have to admit the last few movies 1035 00:42:34,030 --> 00:42:35,570 you've shit out have been real stinkers. 1036 00:42:35,770 --> 00:42:37,030 All I ever wanted was to 1037 00:42:37,230 --> 00:42:39,370 make great entertainment, believe me. 1038 00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:42,410 But as soon as you start getting piles and piles of hate mail, 1039 00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:45,010 endless messages calling you the c-word, 1040 00:42:45,210 --> 00:42:46,910 you can't think straight. 1041 00:42:47,110 --> 00:42:49,680 Well, I'm sorry I wrote all those letters. 1042 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,480 It probably was a bit much. 1043 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,790 No, I got like 10,000 letters a day. 1044 00:42:54,990 --> 00:42:56,420 Mm, I was doing more like 12,000 to 13,000, 1045 00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:58,870 especially after the new Indiana Jones came out. 1046 00:42:59,870 --> 00:43:02,830 Then it's you! You're the one who caused all this! 1047 00:43:03,030 --> 00:43:04,800 Fuck you! You're the one who caused all this! 1048 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,730 I wouldn't have tried to fight racism 1049 00:43:06,930 --> 00:43:07,860 with the panderstone if you hadn't 1050 00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:09,200 written all those letters. 1051 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:10,500 I wouldn't have written all those letters 1052 00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:11,740 if you hadn't tried to fight racism 1053 00:43:11,940 --> 00:43:13,570 with a fucking panderstone. 1054 00:43:13,770 --> 00:43:15,240 (whooshing) 1055 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,640 Mr. Marsh! Can you hear us? 1056 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,910 RANDY: Oh, wow! 1057 00:43:19,110 --> 00:43:20,880 You should see the pants I have on now! 1058 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,280 Whoa! Oh, now I have on, like, suspenders. 1059 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,220 Like almost like overalls but not quite! 1060 00:43:27,420 --> 00:43:28,380 My God. 1061 00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:30,620 Mr. Marsh! Try and stay focused! 1062 00:43:30,820 --> 00:43:33,320 You should be seeing another portal soon! 1063 00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,560 If our Kathleen Kennedy got the other Eric Cartman 1064 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,060 to the right place. 1065 00:43:37,260 --> 00:43:38,830 RANDY: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1066 00:43:39,030 --> 00:43:40,330 Dad? What's the matter? 1067 00:43:40,530 --> 00:43:42,630 I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens shirt now! 1068 00:43:42,830 --> 00:43:44,230 I hate the Ravens! 1069 00:43:44,430 --> 00:43:47,000 I don't know if I can do this! 1070 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,140 Oh, now it's the Dolphins! Ah! The Chiefs! 1071 00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:50,940 Oh, it's the Chiefs! 1072 00:43:51,140 --> 00:43:52,510 He's losing his mind! 1073 00:43:52,710 --> 00:43:54,380 The panderverse is filled with mystery 1074 00:43:54,580 --> 00:43:57,950 and paradox, you-- you have to try and hang on! 1075 00:43:58,150 --> 00:44:00,000 (rumbling) 1076 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,400 Jesus, it's getting worse. 1077 00:44:09,310 --> 00:44:12,780 Where the fuck is Bob Iger? 1078 00:44:13,580 --> 00:44:15,630 Uh, Mr. Iger just had to take some 1079 00:44:15,830 --> 00:44:17,370 of the others to a screening. 1080 00:44:17,570 --> 00:44:20,400 I think that things are being kept from me. 1081 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,910 And if you're going to keep things from me, 1082 00:44:23,110 --> 00:44:25,480 then you'd better put a chick in it, 1083 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,810 and make her fucking gay as fuck. 1084 00:44:29,010 --> 00:44:31,030 (rumbling) 1085 00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:37,920 So that's it, that's the connection. 1086 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,860 I reacted to you and you reacted to me. 1087 00:44:41,060 --> 00:44:43,490 And I guess we created each other. 1088 00:44:43,690 --> 00:44:44,900 Mrs. Kennedy, 1089 00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:46,100 I don't think I've ever said this 1090 00:44:46,300 --> 00:44:49,100 before in my life but... I'm sorry. 1091 00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:52,100 I lashed out so hard and used the c-word so many times, 1092 00:44:52,300 --> 00:44:54,500 you didn't really have a choice but to double down. 1093 00:44:54,700 --> 00:44:57,970 Eric, I know you care about all things Disney. 1094 00:44:58,170 --> 00:45:01,580 I'm sorry I was so reckless with the things that you love. 1095 00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:04,610 It was just lazy. 1096 00:45:04,820 --> 00:45:06,280 I guess just wailing 1097 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,970 on woke stuff all the time is pretty lazy, too. 1098 00:45:17,140 --> 00:45:21,510 I think... I think I can let go now. 1099 00:45:28,450 --> 00:45:31,760 Aah... 1100 00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:37,600 Come on, Kate. Looks like we got a flight to catch. 1101 00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,160 (electricity crackles) 1102 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,560 Whoa, what the hell is that? 1103 00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,530 (screaming) 1104 00:45:51,730 --> 00:45:53,130 (others gasp) 1105 00:45:53,330 --> 00:45:56,070 Oh, yo, bitch! You killed Kenny! 1106 00:45:56,270 --> 00:45:58,280 You fat ho! 1107 00:46:00,150 --> 00:46:02,160 (electricity crackles) 1108 00:46:03,990 --> 00:46:05,560 (tires screech) 1109 00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:09,100 Look! 1110 00:46:12,730 --> 00:46:14,570 I'm back, you guys! 1111 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,390 Kyle! Kyle, I'm back! 1112 00:46:18,590 --> 00:46:20,060 I was so wrong about Kathleen Kennedy, 1113 00:46:20,260 --> 00:46:21,660 Kyle, she's so awesome! 1114 00:46:21,860 --> 00:46:23,930 Okay, what Cartman is this? 1115 00:46:24,130 --> 00:46:25,330 Mrs. Kennedy, you're back! 1116 00:46:25,530 --> 00:46:27,730 - Great to see you, ma'am. - Thanks, you guys. 1117 00:46:27,930 --> 00:46:30,530 We have a lot of changes to discuss at the company. 1118 00:46:30,730 --> 00:46:32,940 From now on we're only going to make original content 1119 00:46:33,140 --> 00:46:34,570 that doesn't pander. 1120 00:46:34,770 --> 00:46:36,670 Sure we will, Kate. Sure we will. 1121 00:46:36,870 --> 00:46:37,940 (chuckles) 1122 00:46:38,140 --> 00:46:40,030 RANDY: Hey, guys! Guys, over here! 1123 00:46:40,790 --> 00:46:44,050 I did a little extra work while I was out in multiple universes. 1124 00:46:44,250 --> 00:46:46,520 We're not gonna have a problem with billionaires anymore, 1125 00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:48,500 check it out! 1126 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,750 (all cheering) 1127 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,960 Now people who can do stuff will be just as poor 1128 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,330 as the rest of us! 1129 00:46:56,530 --> 00:46:58,690 (excited clamoring) 1130 00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,700 Tom, it appears that everything is back to normal. 1131 00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:04,430 Billionaires have been put in their place and once again 1132 00:47:04,630 --> 00:47:07,300 it doesn't matter that we don't know how to do anything. 1133 00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,810 It's a good ending here and we can all be happy 1134 00:47:10,010 --> 00:47:14,460 that everyone is back in their universe. 1135 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,480 (screaming, panting) 1136 00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,190 Mom! Mom! 1137 00:47:23,390 --> 00:47:25,090 What is it, Mrs. Kennedy? 1138 00:47:25,290 --> 00:47:26,620 Oh. Oh, Mom! 1139 00:47:26,820 --> 00:47:28,590 I was just having the worst nightmare. 1140 00:47:28,790 --> 00:47:31,230 I was me except everyone around me was different. 1141 00:47:31,430 --> 00:47:32,730 Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy. 1142 00:47:32,930 --> 00:47:36,300 Here, have some of your favorite cereal to calm you down. 1143 00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:38,530 Oh, thank you. It was so real. 1144 00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,170 All my friends were there but they'd been 1145 00:47:40,370 --> 00:47:41,500 replaced by strangers. 1146 00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:43,410 I think you were even there too, Kyle. 1147 00:47:43,610 --> 00:47:45,480 Really? I was there, too? 1148 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,140 Yeah, that's right, Kyle, you were there 1149 00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:48,310 but you weren't cereal and I couldn't 1150 00:47:48,510 --> 00:47:49,510 just eat you like I can here. 1151 00:47:49,710 --> 00:47:51,010 - (munching) - (Kyle screaming) 1152 00:47:51,210 --> 00:47:52,320 KYLE: No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy! 1153 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,920 Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle! 1154 00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,250 Oh, oh, it's so good to be home. 1155 00:47:56,450 --> 00:47:58,640 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.86917

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