All language subtitles for Malcolm in the Middle (2000) - S05E05 - Malcolm Films Reese (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)-eng

Come on, we can't.
We'll wake up the baby.

That is what
old reliable is for.

Besides, babies at this age
don't remember anything.

♪ Life is unfair.

LOIS:
What is wrong with you?

You two ruin everything.

Look what you've done
to this shirt.

You saw the price tag,
and you knew

I'd just bought it.

This has become a daily event.

She actually pays more attention
to them than to us.

Maybe that's not a bad thing.

Do you think I can afford
to keep on buying new clothes?

Oh, honey, come on.
Hey. Enough is enough.

Look, I want you to go out and
buy a new washer and dryer.

You know we can't afford that.

Look, I wasn't going
to say anything yet,

but you know all those
crappy stock options

I've been getting
instead of bonuses?

Well, I think they're finally
going to be worth something.

There have been people flying
back and forth to New York

and all these
closed-door meetings.

I think that merger is
finally going through.

Oh, Hal, that
would be wonderful.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Don't want to be late
for school today.

I'm handing in my diorama.

No, no, no!

16 weeks of
Intermediate Psychology,

and you can't classify
a simple test case?

I thought at least your ears
were functional, Kenarban.

I know castration complex
when I see it.

I'm trying to get you
to go beyond convenient labels.

To quote Blake,

"To generalize is to be a fool."

Idiot.
Excuse me?

Blake wrote, "To generalize
is to be an idiot."

Thank you, Malcolm.

Tomorrow, people, I want

progress reports on
your term projects.

I have to talk to Herkabe for
a second. Will you wait up?

Got gym.

Have to change...

my tires.

Mr. Herkabe, you still haven't
given me my term project.

I've been asking you
every day for a month.

Malcolm, you make it
sound like I'm trying

to sabotage your impeccable
grade-point average.

Please just give me something

so I can get started.All right, tell you what.

Why don't you come by
my office at lunch

and I'll give you
your assignment.

Your office?

Why is everybody so
afraid of my office?

A reminder,
class officer ballots

can be picked up
at the registrar's office.

JV basketball practice

will again be held
in the auxiliary gym.

Oh, and Patty Lin committed
a Code Nine in the library

and is hereby suspended.

I trust the stick
of gum was worth it.

Ah, Malcolm.
You have waited

very patiently
for your term project,

and today your patience
pays off.

Here.

What's this?

You are holding a video
surveillance camera.

The lens is in the logo,
and the video is transmitted

via wireless signal
to this digital tape recorder.

What am I supposed
to do with it?

You are going
to secretly conduct

an in-depth case study
of a deviant mind,

the most deviant mind
that we have at our disposal.

A mind incapable
of differentiating

between right and wrong,
a diseased...

You're talking about my brother.Yes.

And you want me
to secretly videotape him?

Around you, he'll relax,
let his guard down,

begin to talk about himself.

These disciplinary files reveal
nothing of the real Reese.

What you're asking me to do

is creepy on about
a hundred different levels.

You have one week.

The newspaper is here.

The newspaper
is here.

The newspaper is here.

You know those come
out every day, right?

No, no, today is the day

our review appears
in the Lifestyle section.

Charles Cutler himself came out.

He only does the biggies.

Francis, you read it--
I'm too nervous.

"A visit to the Grotto
raises many questions,

"foremost among them,

"how could a kind and loving God

grant these monsters
a hotel license?"

PIAMA: "From the
swinish cretins

"posing as staff members
up to and including

"cuisine that would
embarrass an orphanage,

"the Grotto is quite simply

the worst hotel in the
history of the world."

I'm sorry. I was so nervous,
I wasn't even listening.

Start again.

Hey, have you seen
Dewey anywhere?

I want to try
something out on him.

No. So, uh, how are you?

Huh?

I'm just curious
how you're feeling.

How the hell should I know?

Well, are you happy?

Are you sad?

Like, when you laugh,

you're feeling that
something's funny.

Like when I tripped Arthur Hall

and his retainer
went flying out of his mouth

into a pile of dog crap?
That was awesome.

So you think it's funny
when other people get hurt?

I think it's funny
when you shut up.

Okay. Okay.

Hey, they laugh at me.

People laugh at you?

Yeah, people laugh at me.

But not for long.

So, what you're saying is,

when people laugh
at you, it hurts,

and then you want
to make them hurt, too?

No. What I'm saying is,

if you want to talk
like a girl, go find a girl--

and take this with you.

See? It is funny.MALCOLM: Ow.

LOIS:
The 4400 has

the dual-speed rinse cycle?

Mm-hmm. No. No, I placed
my order four days ago.

I just like talking about it.

Hi, Dewey. How was school?

Good. Great.

I was definitely there.

Eight times five-- 40.

What are you...?

Hello?

Hi, honey.
What have you heard?

You're kidding.

Well, who was at the meeting?

HAL:
Everybody.

People have been running
in and out

of the boardroom all day.

No, I've just
been playing Tetris.

Oop. Here he comes.

Hal.

Mr. Fortinberry.

Could you pull my jacket
up over my head?

Sure.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

It's unbelievable.

The whole company
is under investigation.

They used the pension fund

to buy a recording studio
for the CEO's girlfriend.

Oh, Hal, this is horrible.

Okay, okay. Don't
worry about this.

We're going to figure
this out somehow.

Hello, Gene, it's Lois.

Order 387669289-1--

I'm afraid I have to cancel.

Great.

The Flagstaff Elks

just canceled
their convention here.

Who can blame them?

That review was horrible.

Hey, Otto.

How's it going? We going to get
out of the robe today?

Innkeeper of the Year?

Hmm.

It is the lie of the century.

Otto, what are you doing?

You worked hard for that award.

What was that, Francis?

I couldn't hear you

over the crackle
of my failure.

I have dreams
where I sing.

Really high, like that
Saturday Night Feverguy.

Okay.

Well, you were sort of asking me
about, you know, stuff.

I thought you
wanted to know.

I do want to know.

Is your head cold?

Mine is.

No. It's okay.

So, you were singing
in this dream?

Yeah.

And there were all
these clouds around me.

You like clouds?

Yeah, I like clouds.

I call them sky kittens.

This is so weird.

I've never told any
of this to anyone.

It's like you're
another wishing hole.

What's a wishing hole?

You don't have a wishing hole?No.

Oh, man, you got to get one.

Mine's in a tree
on Jefferson Street.

You can ask your wishing hole
for anything.

It never calls you
stupid or perv.

My hole always
keeps my wishes safe.

It's like a bank for wishes.

It's extraordinary footage.

Yeah, but I only got it

by doing something
totally dishonest.

I'm not doing
this anymore.

What?
Why would you stop now

when you could go
so much deeper?

He took me to his wishing hole.

Malcolm,

he wants to talk to you.

Be his friend.

He trusted me, and
I exploited him.

That's called
being a good interviewer.

It's called being a liar.
He's my brother.

I'm not giving you
another assignment.

Fine. I'll just make up
the class in summer school.

But I quit.

There are... 50 kinds...

of negative...

trans...

ference.

Starting with...

Well done, Stevie.

I think we can all just
fill in the blanks from there.

Now, we have just enough time
for one more presentation.

And our friend Malcolm

is going to amaze us
with a fascinating update

of the Milgram Experiment.

Milgram Experiment?

Oh, something
you don't know, Malcolm.

The Milgram Experiment

was a lesson
in the power of authority.

A subject was asked
by a man in a lab coat

to administer an electric shock
to a third party.

Milgram proved
that people will blindly

follow an authority figure

even if it means
harming an innocent stranger.

What are you doing?In our version,

the stranger will be replaced
by a close family member.

And the electric shock
will be replaced

by devastating emotional trauma.

Let's watch.

Yeah, I like clouds.

I call them sky kittens.

It's troubling, isn't it?

How willing someone is
to sell out his own brother,

knowing full well
that it's exactly that kind

of juicy gossip
that would compel

each of you to run into the quad

and spread this throughout
the school like wildfire.

Hey, that is not...

Malcolm, I am teaching.

It's called being a liar.

He's my brother.

And I exploited him.

A liar.
He's my brother.

And I exploited him.
And I exploited him.

You never said
you were taping me.

I never said I was taping him.

I wish Malcolm
and I will be friends forever.

Breathtaking, isn't it?

Now, none of us can know

if we would do that
to a loved one just because

a man in a proverbial lab coat
asked us to.

All we can know for certain...

is that Malcolm did.

Tomorrow, Katy reports

on post-traumatic
stress disorder in fruit flies.

Hey! You made me look
like a total jerk!

You tricked me!

Tricked you? Oh, how could I,

a humble school administrator
making low five figures,

be any match
for the great

and powerful Malcolm?

Never underestimate
your adversary!

You may consider yourself my
moral and intellectual superior,

but this has clearly proven
you are neither.

We played the game and I won.

Well, it looks as if
neither of us

is going anywhere for a while.

Perhaps I said some things

that you may have taken
the wrong way.

Anyway, I bought you something.

Name-brand fabric softener.

Oh, look at this.

Our chief financial officer
had his dog

on the board of directors.

I had to cc him
on every memo.

Mom, Dad,

I have a question about school.

Let's say you're making
a lot of money.

I mean,
so much money

that the idea
of going to school is...

You have
to go to school.

But what if you're
already making,

like, $400 or $500 a week?

Yeah, Dewey,

you start making
$400 or $500 a week,

you can quit school.

Okay.

This is an official apology.

I'm a terrible person
and I'm sorry.

What I did was horrible
even by our standards.

And let's face it,

we've set the bar
pretty low.

Look, I'm begging you.

Tell me what I can do
to fix it, anything.

Just, just say it
and I'll do it.

Sure.

Fly backwards around the Earth
like Superman

and turn back time

to before I thought
we liked each other.

I still can't believe

you convinced the newspaper

to give us another review.

Honey, you of all people know
how persuasive I can be.

You cried.

Like a baby.

He is here!

Everyone, act normal!

Welcome to the Grotto.

Ah, the Grotto.

Upon entering, one wonders
which of the five senses

is most brutally
violated.

Did you have a nice drive up?

Sight and smell immediately
burst into the lead

as the obsequious innkeeper
offers his sweaty slab of a hand

like a bear taught
to be friendly

in hopes of a sugar cube.

Mr. Cutler, if you would
just give us a chance...

And the pleading vultures
immediately begin to circle.

Their outlet mall attire
creating such a vortex

of misery that one loses
the strength to even ask

for a parking validation.

I'll take that
for you, sir.

In a pathetic nod to diversity,

they trot out
the token native employee.

Uh, that's my wife.

Not content to merely ruin
the vacations

of a single generation,

some of the employees
decide to mate and breed.

The mind reels, the thought
of an endless stream

of baboon-like hoteliers spewed
out of the loins of the...

Otto, I'm sorry.
I don't know what happened.

It was like someone else
was punching him.

Yeah, it was me.

Here's some of his hair

if you need to put it
on ice or something.

One recalls
fiercer butt-kickings

meted out
on a preschool playground.

The wounds are superficial,

the bruising patterns
unpersuasive.

And never before has one seen
such a grotesque ceiling.

And frankly,
blue is not your...

Hey, there's Mr. Curtis!

See, he's using Pete the muffin
guy as a human shield.

Come on.

There's just a pair
of socks in there.

What are you doing?

Oh, my God!

Look at all this money.

Hal, when did you
hide this in here?

HAL:
I don't remember.

It must have been
years ago.

Is this my Jet Ski fund?

No, no. We used that to get the
remote control out of Reese.

There's got to be like
a thousand dollars!

$1,473.

Who cares what
it's from!

Thank God it's here!

You're a part
of this moment, son.

Here, buy yourself
a pack of baseball cards.

Ow!

Why'd you do that?

Why you do that?!

Fight, fight, fight!

:
Fight, fight, fight!

Animals.

Hello, North High students.
This is Malcolm.

You all know the horrible thing
I did to my brother Reese.

And I'd like
to publicly apologize

for turning him
into a laughingstock.

I should never have exposed
his secrets.

And I can't turn back time.

I can, however,
level the playing field.

I have been
having impure thoughts

about Shirley the lunch lady.

Last month, I caught a glimpse

of her cleavage

and I've been fantasizing
about her ever since.

And now that I've admitted that,

I'm just as big a laughingstock
as he is.

Unfortunately,
that doesn't protect him

from the rest of the school.

So I'm forced to bring everyone
down to our level.

Let's take a look
at everyone's

permanent records.

First up,

David Abernathy.

He wasn't on a construction crew
this summer.

He was in theater camp.

Cheryl Adams

is excused from gym this week

because her herpes
is flaring up.

Charlie Agnew wets his bed
every night during finals.

Leslie Albert forged her
parents' signatures

to get a nose job.

Well, Mr. Zyzyx, I'd say
we have a half an hour

to erase everything
on your hard drive.

James Allen...

James Allen, he likes
to eat his...

What's all this?

Did you see the paper!
It is wonderful!

He actually gave us
a good review?

There is no review.

They bumped it for a much
more interesting story.

"Crazed local attacks reviewer"?

But what's with
all the flowers?

They are thank-yous from
restaurants and hotels

and art galleries.

Charles Cutler is the most
hated man in the state.

And look at these room
reservations.

Other hotels
have sent us their overflow.

We are booked solid
through May.

I can't believe this guy.

He actually reviewed
the hospital.

Oh, yeah, it sounds terrible.

I'm never going there.

If you overload it,
you'll burn out the motor.

You're only supposed
to use two caps of...

Aw, just let me do it.

Well, I served my three weeks
suspension,

and I got to say
things have really changed.

I think I might have created

the most polite high school
in America.

For the most part.

Hey, plagiarizer.

Hey, pukes-after-she-eats.

Hey, dad-had-a-breakdown-
'cause-mom-went-lesbian.

He actually has an amazing
memory for this kind of stuff.