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1
00:00:03,968 --> 00:00:05,273
Guys, I'm sorry.
2
00:00:05,298 --> 00:00:07,439
The phlebotomy room
is for drawing blood,
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,025
not for recording your podcast.
4
00:00:09,026 --> 00:00:11,025
Now, before we leave, I have received
5
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,760
a sternly worded missive from oncology
6
00:00:13,785 --> 00:00:16,375
demanding that we return
their popcorn maker.
7
00:00:18,671 --> 00:00:20,507
I don't think we have it anymore.
8
00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,218
Damn it, Mindy, we can't
have another department
9
00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:23,805
mad at us. Not after what happened
10
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,600
with radiology's panini press.
11
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,440
We put crayons in it
to see what would happen.
12
00:00:28,441 --> 00:00:30,986
What happened was a building evacuation.
13
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:32,823
Fine, Jeremy. I'll return it.
14
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,577
Thus removing the only thing
that I look forward to
15
00:00:34,578 --> 00:00:36,246
- the entire day.
- Wonderful.
16
00:00:36,247 --> 00:00:37,791
Well, if there are
no more announcements...
17
00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:39,628
- I have an announcement.
- Of course.
18
00:00:39,629 --> 00:00:41,507
So, you guys might all be wondering
19
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,511
why I'm dressed in this
beautiful traditional garb.
20
00:00:43,512 --> 00:00:45,264
I've learned never to comment
on your appearance.
21
00:00:45,265 --> 00:00:46,851
Good or bad.
Lawyers made that very clear.
22
00:00:46,852 --> 00:00:48,521
Mm-hmm.
23
00:00:48,522 --> 00:00:50,107
So, out of respect
for my future husband,
24
00:00:50,108 --> 00:00:52,069
I am converting to Morgan's religion.
25
00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:54,450
Morgan's religion?
I'm Morgan's religion.
26
00:00:54,451 --> 00:00:56,454
No, he's Siberian Orthodox.
27
00:00:56,455 --> 00:00:58,123
It's a beautiful faith the
Russian people have been trying
28
00:00:58,124 --> 00:00:59,627
to genocide for centuries.
29
00:00:59,628 --> 00:01:01,505
Yeah, we will be getting married
30
00:01:01,506 --> 00:01:03,927
at St. Dracul's of the
Black Heart in Far Rockaway.
31
00:01:03,928 --> 00:01:05,764
- Wait, what?
- Whoa.
32
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,183
I thought this was gonna be
a fun black wedding.
33
00:01:07,184 --> 00:01:09,187
Jumping the broom, hallelujer,
34
00:01:09,188 --> 00:01:11,149
maybe Lee Daniels is there and
gets drunk and tries to kiss me.
35
00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:12,402
- No.
- No, Lee Daniels...
36
00:01:12,403 --> 00:01:14,406
My uncle Arcadi will be there.
37
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,994
And he has the longest beard
you've ever seen in your life.
38
00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,915
- Aww, man.
- So, out of respect
39
00:01:18,916 --> 00:01:20,794
for my new faith, I can no longer
40
00:01:20,795 --> 00:01:22,714
use electricity
on Wednesdays and Fridays,
41
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,259
I have to pray 12 times a day,
42
00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:25,470
and I'm gonna be microwaving fish a lot.
43
00:01:25,471 --> 00:01:27,056
[gagging]
44
00:01:27,057 --> 00:01:28,308
It does seem like that
might get in the way
45
00:01:28,309 --> 00:01:29,310
of your productivity at work.
46
00:01:29,311 --> 00:01:31,482
Hello? ACLU?
47
00:01:31,483 --> 00:01:33,570
Hey, happy conversion.
48
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:34,738
- Yeah.
- Meeting adjourned.
49
00:01:34,739 --> 00:01:37,744
[theme music]
50
00:01:37,745 --> 00:01:41,422
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
51
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:44,148
MINDY: Oncology is so much nicer
than labor and delivery.
52
00:01:44,262 --> 00:01:45,848
Hey, I gotta talk
to you about something.
53
00:01:46,388 --> 00:01:48,181
So, now that Tamra's joining my church,
54
00:01:48,182 --> 00:01:49,393
I have to follow all their rules.
55
00:01:49,394 --> 00:01:51,497
[gasps] Do you want me
to circumcise you?
56
00:01:51,498 --> 00:01:53,209
I've been dying to try that.
57
00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:55,279
What if I gave you a little
popped collar down there?
58
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,366
- And I was like snip, snip.
- I'm very circumcised, okay?
59
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,080
Look, I can't be alone
in a room with a woman.
60
00:02:00,081 --> 00:02:01,584
Well, who's gonna pull up
my Spanx every morning
61
00:02:01,585 --> 00:02:03,379
and cut me out of them every night?
62
00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,049
Those were some of
the best moments of my life.
63
00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,886
- But they're over.
- Ugh.
64
00:02:06,887 --> 00:02:08,806
Well, if it isn't Priyanka Nope-ra.
65
00:02:08,807 --> 00:02:09,933
And Doggo Mortensen.
66
00:02:09,934 --> 00:02:12,606
Aww, that hurts, man.
67
00:02:12,607 --> 00:02:14,777
We are here to return
your popcorn machine.
68
00:02:14,778 --> 00:02:16,196
And we'd like to check it
back out again.
69
00:02:16,197 --> 00:02:17,866
You had it for 18 weeks.
70
00:02:17,867 --> 00:02:19,369
Is that your lipstick
on the butter spout?
71
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:21,247
- We both know that it is.
- Okay.
72
00:02:21,248 --> 00:02:22,876
- Okay, bring it around.
- Say good-bye to the old girl.
73
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:24,713
- Bye, Poppy.
- Let me say good-bye.
74
00:02:24,714 --> 00:02:26,007
No, not with your bare hands.
75
00:02:26,008 --> 00:02:29,056
- Ugh, God. [groans]
- [sighs]
76
00:02:31,395 --> 00:02:33,188
Annette?
77
00:02:33,189 --> 00:02:35,443
Annette, what are you doing here?
78
00:02:35,444 --> 00:02:38,365
You know that Danny doesn't
work in this hospital anymore.
79
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,993
Oh, no. You have dementia.
80
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,497
Annette, I am Mindy!
81
00:02:41,498 --> 00:02:43,250
Cut it out. I know who you are.
82
00:02:43,251 --> 00:02:45,672
I dropped your son off
at school this morning.
83
00:02:45,673 --> 00:02:47,091
And speaking of dementia,
84
00:02:47,092 --> 00:02:48,845
you forgot to put a shirt on him.
85
00:02:48,846 --> 00:02:50,932
It was a muscle tank.
Leo has amazing guns,
86
00:02:50,933 --> 00:02:52,936
and the world needs to see them.
87
00:02:52,937 --> 00:02:55,232
Wait, why are you
in the oncology department?
88
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:57,863
Dr. Richlin's ready
to see you now, Ms. Castellano.
89
00:02:57,864 --> 00:02:59,365
Richlin?
90
00:02:59,366 --> 00:03:01,327
You're seeing a cancer specialist?
91
00:03:01,328 --> 00:03:04,626
None of your beeswax.
And don't tell anyone I'm here.
92
00:03:04,627 --> 00:03:06,087
Especially Danny.
93
00:03:06,088 --> 00:03:08,008
CHRIS: Come right this way, Annette.
94
00:03:08,009 --> 00:03:09,553
I love that top, by the way.
95
00:03:09,554 --> 00:03:12,308
ANNETTE: Oh...
[murmurs indistinctly]
96
00:03:12,309 --> 00:03:16,191
["Ashokan Farewell" plays]
97
00:03:16,192 --> 00:03:19,782
[melancholy violin music]
98
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:23,831
? ?
99
00:03:23,832 --> 00:03:26,002
- [knocking]
- Hey, Dr. K, I'm so sorry.
100
00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:28,549
But the fiddle,
it's bumming everyone out.
101
00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:31,889
Yeah, I just cried while
performing a woman's pap smear.
102
00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:34,268
- She took it pretty personally.
- Yeah, man.
103
00:03:34,269 --> 00:03:36,815
I'm sorry. I'm just lovelorn.
104
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:39,863
And if I'm being honest,
I'm a little tight.
105
00:03:39,864 --> 00:03:42,201
Dr. Hernandez found out about
his track record with ladies,
106
00:03:42,202 --> 00:03:43,579
and she's like, "Oh, hell no.
107
00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:45,375
I'm out of here. You nasty."
108
00:03:45,376 --> 00:03:48,213
It's true. Now I can't seem
to shake old Mary.
109
00:03:48,214 --> 00:03:50,510
She's like that Six Flags song,
destined to be stuck
110
00:03:50,511 --> 00:03:52,764
in my head forever.
111
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,267
Have you tried wearing her down?
112
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,062
- No.
- That's how Dr. Reed and I
113
00:03:56,063 --> 00:03:58,609
got girlfriends who wanted
nothing to do with us.
114
00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,738
We call ourselves the Termite Club.
115
00:04:00,739 --> 00:04:02,826
- [imitates explosion sound]
- The Termite Club?
116
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,873
You know how a single termite
can fell a majestic oak tree?
117
00:04:05,874 --> 00:04:08,336
- Sure.
- That's what Morgan and I do.
118
00:04:08,337 --> 00:04:11,927
Take Tamra and Anna.
We weaken magnificent women
119
00:04:11,928 --> 00:04:14,391
until they come crashing down.
120
00:04:14,392 --> 00:04:16,102
Here's the deal. Dr. Hernandez is
121
00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:17,271
is an amazing woman.
And you have no right
122
00:04:17,272 --> 00:04:18,899
- to date her.
- No.
123
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:20,862
But with some patience,
some perseverance,
124
00:04:20,863 --> 00:04:23,492
and a little good old-fashioned
male white entitlement,
125
00:04:23,493 --> 00:04:25,663
you're gonna bring her crashing
down right into your bed.
126
00:04:25,664 --> 00:04:28,084
- Timber.
- Maybe that could work.
127
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:30,047
I'll be a termite.
128
00:04:30,048 --> 00:04:31,800
I'm coming for you, Mary Hernandez,
129
00:04:31,801 --> 00:04:33,596
you sexy, unwilling tree.
130
00:04:33,597 --> 00:04:34,932
[Vengaboy's "We Like to Party" plays]
131
00:04:34,933 --> 00:04:36,894
MORGAN: Ooh, Six Flags.
132
00:04:36,895 --> 00:04:41,069
[upbeat violin music]
133
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:42,614
[upbeat music]
134
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,200
Dr. Hernandez? There's a weird guy
135
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,453
waiting for you in the lobby.
136
00:04:45,454 --> 00:04:47,457
Weird? How?
137
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:50,128
He called me Buttercup and
asked me where I go to church.
138
00:04:50,129 --> 00:04:52,091
Ah, Jody Kimball-Kinney.
139
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,054
Eh. Send him in.
140
00:04:57,143 --> 00:04:59,398
- [both clear throats]
- Mary,
141
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,735
I know you think I'm a lech
who treats women terribly
142
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:04,449
- and has weathered many STDs.
- Is that not true?
143
00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,369
No, you're right on the money.
144
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:07,872
But I want you
to know that I've changed.
145
00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:09,584
And you don't have to answer me now,
146
00:05:09,585 --> 00:05:11,170
but you should know that
I intend to come here
147
00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:13,551
every day with a bouquet of flowers
148
00:05:13,552 --> 00:05:15,847
until you agree to let me take you out.
149
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,726
Madam.
150
00:05:17,727 --> 00:05:19,228
What kind of flowers are these?
151
00:05:19,229 --> 00:05:20,732
Dogwood blossoms.
152
00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:22,444
They indicate unreciprocated love.
153
00:05:22,445 --> 00:05:23,946
That's what the homosexual gentleman
154
00:05:23,947 --> 00:05:25,198
at the flower store said.
155
00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:26,910
And what kind of flowers
156
00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:28,831
represent reciprocated affection?
157
00:05:28,832 --> 00:05:30,960
Oh, Ernesto told me this too.
158
00:05:30,961 --> 00:05:33,758
- Ah, Jonquils.
- Then bring me some of those
159
00:05:33,759 --> 00:05:35,093
when you pick me up tonight.
160
00:05:35,094 --> 00:05:36,847
- Tonight?
- 7:00?
161
00:05:36,848 --> 00:05:38,684
Heh, oh, my goodness.
162
00:05:38,685 --> 00:05:40,897
Uh, took me a while to work up
my nerve to come here,
163
00:05:40,898 --> 00:05:42,609
but, uh, that gives me five hours
164
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,988
to sober up, so I should be okay.
165
00:05:44,989 --> 00:05:46,992
I just won't drive.
I'll see you at 7:00.
166
00:05:46,993 --> 00:05:48,913
Okay.
167
00:05:48,914 --> 00:05:50,583
She said yes.
168
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:51,795
[clears throat]
169
00:05:53,715 --> 00:05:55,426
How's your lunch, Dr. L?
170
00:05:55,427 --> 00:05:57,388
Morgan, this is stupid.
Just come in here.
171
00:05:57,389 --> 00:05:59,141
I'm not gonna tell Tamra.
172
00:05:59,142 --> 00:06:01,563
[sighs] Okay. Fine.
173
00:06:01,564 --> 00:06:02,816
Hey, no monkey business, all right?
174
00:06:02,817 --> 00:06:04,569
Wait, what's wrong?
175
00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:06,155
How come you're not wearing
your lunch sweats?
176
00:06:06,156 --> 00:06:09,579
I'm a little worried, Morgan.
177
00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:12,042
I saw Danny's mom in the oncology wing.
178
00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:14,381
Oh, well, the hospital's a big place.
179
00:06:14,382 --> 00:06:16,217
It's very easy to get lost.
180
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:18,054
The other night, I followed
the sound of laughter
181
00:06:18,055 --> 00:06:20,225
to the morgue... no one was there.
182
00:06:20,226 --> 00:06:21,645
No, no. She had an appointment
183
00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:23,314
with a cancer specialist.
184
00:06:23,315 --> 00:06:24,401
And she made me promise
not to tell Danny.
185
00:06:24,402 --> 00:06:26,028
Well, can't do that,
186
00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:27,322
because it's private
medical information.
187
00:06:27,323 --> 00:06:28,826
Obviously. It's just, like,
188
00:06:28,827 --> 00:06:30,413
if it was my mom, I would wanna know.
189
00:06:30,414 --> 00:06:31,999
- Yeah, no, this is a classic...
- Hey.
190
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,003
Oh, God, no! She tried to seduce me.
191
00:06:34,004 --> 00:06:35,297
Nothing happened yet. Don't tell Tamra.
192
00:06:35,298 --> 00:06:36,967
All right. Hey, Tamra
193
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:38,679
just got back from shopping.
194
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,307
She said she's gonna make us
some big dinner
195
00:06:40,308 --> 00:06:41,560
on Thursday night.
196
00:06:41,561 --> 00:06:43,229
I am gonna bring my appetite,
197
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:44,691
'cause I'm trying to go
up a weight class.
198
00:06:44,692 --> 00:06:46,445
- I know.
- Hey, guys.
199
00:06:46,446 --> 00:06:48,407
I'm cooking a classic Siberian feast.
200
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,826
I hope you like reindeer.
201
00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:51,538
Mark Bittman called the recipe,
202
00:06:51,539 --> 00:06:53,459
"an extremely acquired taste."
203
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:57,550
Oh, that sounds so yummers.
Thank you, my bride.
204
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,471
Morgan, you know you're not
allowed to thank me
205
00:06:59,472 --> 00:07:01,182
outside of marriage. Oh, my God.
206
00:07:01,183 --> 00:07:03,311
I gotta go soak some bark
for the goat stew.
207
00:07:03,312 --> 00:07:04,940
- Dosvidaniy'all.
- Good-bye, my love.
208
00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:06,860
Dasvidaniya. Mmm. Reindeer.
209
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,614
So close to Christmas. I love you!
210
00:07:08,615 --> 00:07:10,701
MARY: Jody, I had so much fun tonight.
211
00:07:10,702 --> 00:07:12,580
I've never been carried
over a puddle before.
212
00:07:12,581 --> 00:07:13,999
Well, I had fun, too.
213
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,337
And, Mary, if it's not too forward,
214
00:07:16,338 --> 00:07:17,799
I'd like to see you again.
215
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,386
Maybe we could go for a bike ride
216
00:07:19,387 --> 00:07:21,807
or have a picnic
in a sculpture garden or...
217
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,980
Or maybe we could have
our second date right now.
218
00:07:24,981 --> 00:07:26,942
Upstairs. My place.
219
00:07:26,943 --> 00:07:28,529
To ride bikes?
220
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,323
You must have a very open floor plan.
221
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:34,499
No, dummy. I mean for sex.
222
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:36,712
- Por favor.
- [laughs]
223
00:07:36,713 --> 00:07:38,047
That means I like.
224
00:07:38,048 --> 00:07:39,634
[car horn honks]
225
00:07:39,635 --> 00:07:41,012
- MARY: [moans]
- JODY: Ooh,
226
00:07:41,013 --> 00:07:42,765
that was wonderful, Mary.
227
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,309
Oh, you should come to Atlanta sometime.
228
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:46,022
- [moans]
- There's so much history.
229
00:07:46,023 --> 00:07:48,151
There's CNN, the Coca-Cola museum.
230
00:07:48,152 --> 00:07:49,988
They shoot "Walking Dead" there.
231
00:07:49,989 --> 00:07:51,825
I ran into that Asian fella
in the grocery store.
232
00:07:51,826 --> 00:07:55,958
Oh, sounds good, but I'll be gone soon.
233
00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:58,296
You're dying? I knew it.
234
00:07:58,297 --> 00:08:00,133
Another "Autumn in New York"
for old Jody.
235
00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:02,805
No, no. I'm just leaving the country.
236
00:08:02,806 --> 00:08:05,728
I'm gonna be with Physicians
on the Front for three years.
237
00:08:05,729 --> 00:08:07,940
Three years?
238
00:08:07,941 --> 00:08:09,778
Physicians on the Front?
239
00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:11,823
Isn't that where those doctors
rush into disasters
240
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,410
in countries with no air conditioning?
241
00:08:13,411 --> 00:08:14,954
- Yeah.
- Why would you wanna do that?
242
00:08:14,955 --> 00:08:16,666
Because they do good work,
243
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:19,464
and I wanna do something
important with my life.
244
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:21,635
- Oh.
- Besides,
245
00:08:21,636 --> 00:08:24,974
we both know that this
isn't anything serious.
246
00:08:24,975 --> 00:08:27,229
- Right?
- Oh, yeah.
247
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:28,732
It's way too early for me to be thinking
248
00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:30,318
about settling down, anyway.
249
00:08:30,319 --> 00:08:32,824
- [laughs]
- Pound sign "still young."
250
00:08:32,825 --> 00:08:34,869
[chuckles]
251
00:08:34,870 --> 00:08:38,292
[pensive music]
252
00:08:38,293 --> 00:08:40,338
? ?
253
00:08:40,339 --> 00:08:42,342
Thanks for coming in. We can discuss
254
00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:44,514
your course of treatment on Wednesday.
255
00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:46,183
Will your friend Dot
be joining us again?
256
00:08:46,184 --> 00:08:47,770
Yes, I will. I'm wearing a wedding ring
257
00:08:47,771 --> 00:08:49,189
so I don't waste my time.
258
00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:50,985
Good-bye, Doc.
259
00:08:50,986 --> 00:08:53,449
- I'll see you on Wednesday.
- Course of treatment?
260
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,909
Annette.
261
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,205
You have to tell me what's going on.
262
00:08:57,206 --> 00:08:58,834
Fine.
263
00:08:58,835 --> 00:09:01,381
During my last mammogram,
they found a lump.
264
00:09:01,382 --> 00:09:03,635
- It's malignant.
- Oh, my God, Annette.
265
00:09:03,636 --> 00:09:07,142
I am so sorry.
Wait, why isn't Danny here?
266
00:09:07,143 --> 00:09:08,645
Because he doesn't know.
267
00:09:08,646 --> 00:09:10,190
That's why I didn't go to his hospital.
268
00:09:10,191 --> 00:09:11,735
Why didn't you want Danny to know?
269
00:09:11,736 --> 00:09:13,321
Because he's gonna freak out.
270
00:09:13,322 --> 00:09:15,033
And this is very treatable.
271
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:16,536
In a month, it'll be
like it never happened.
272
00:09:16,537 --> 00:09:18,540
- Fine, but you still...
- Stop.
273
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,251
I have given this a lot of thought.
274
00:09:20,252 --> 00:09:22,172
This is how I wanna handle it.
275
00:09:22,173 --> 00:09:27,057
And if you tell Danny,
I will never forgive you.
276
00:09:27,058 --> 00:09:31,357
And I am Sicilian. That means something.
277
00:09:31,358 --> 00:09:33,110
It's true. You ever hear her talk
278
00:09:33,111 --> 00:09:34,906
- about her sister Joan?
- No.
279
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,285
Exactly. Let's go.
280
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,708
? ?
281
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:45,323
CHRIS: Okay, you are all set.
282
00:09:45,348 --> 00:09:46,761
I'm just gonna be
right down the hallway,
283
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:48,136
so if you experience any discomfort,
284
00:09:48,161 --> 00:09:50,357
just press that button
and I'll be right over.
285
00:09:50,678 --> 00:09:52,180
I'm already not loving this chair.
286
00:09:52,275 --> 00:09:54,362
The button is for Annette, ma'am.
287
00:09:55,654 --> 00:09:57,699
Annette. Dot.
288
00:09:57,724 --> 00:09:59,581
Really? What are you doing here?
289
00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:02,252
Look, I know that you
don't want Danny to know.
290
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,424
But now that I know,
I might as well be helpful.
291
00:10:04,425 --> 00:10:06,010
I have this under control.
292
00:10:06,011 --> 00:10:07,805
I've seen every episode
of "Chicago Med."
293
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:10,226
"Dr. Halstead, there's a crash on the L.
294
00:10:10,227 --> 00:10:13,065
Bring the paddles
and an intubator, stat."
295
00:10:13,066 --> 00:10:15,069
- See? I got this.
- Here's the deal.
296
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:16,740
You are Leo's grandmother.
297
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,869
And you're my family.
And now that I know,
298
00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,664
I'm obviously gonna get involved.
299
00:10:20,665 --> 00:10:22,042
And honestly, if you put up
any more resistance,
300
00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:23,545
I'm gonna tell Danny.
301
00:10:23,546 --> 00:10:25,173
Blackmailing a cancer patient...
302
00:10:25,174 --> 00:10:26,968
They have this on "Chicago Med."
303
00:10:26,969 --> 00:10:28,597
All right, all right,
all right, look, Mindy.
304
00:10:28,598 --> 00:10:29,932
You wanna stay, good.
305
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,728
Just sit and keep to yourself.
306
00:10:31,729 --> 00:10:32,980
Thank you so much.
307
00:10:32,981 --> 00:10:34,400
You will not regret this.
308
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:37,030
- I will be like a ghost.
- Mm-hmm.
309
00:10:37,031 --> 00:10:38,408
You will not even know that I'm here.
310
00:10:38,409 --> 00:10:40,162
Great.
311
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,293
Like a ghost.
312
00:10:45,507 --> 00:10:47,552
[whispers] You won't even know
that I'm here.
313
00:10:50,224 --> 00:10:51,726
Morgan, where are your scrubs?
314
00:10:51,727 --> 00:10:53,145
Look, we would all like to wear
315
00:10:53,146 --> 00:10:54,314
our peasant tops around the office,
316
00:10:54,315 --> 00:10:55,818
but it's not professional.
317
00:10:55,819 --> 00:10:57,362
All right, Tamra bought this for me,
318
00:10:57,363 --> 00:10:58,865
and she'll be very mad if I take it off.
319
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,828
But if you forbade me from wearing it,
320
00:11:00,829 --> 00:11:03,207
- I would have to take it off.
- Are you insane?
321
00:11:03,208 --> 00:11:04,627
She'll come after me.
322
00:11:04,628 --> 00:11:06,798
Whoa, Jody. All right.
323
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,259
Normally you're more secretive
324
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:09,804
about your daytime work drinking.
325
00:11:09,805 --> 00:11:11,056
Well, I just don't have the energy
326
00:11:11,057 --> 00:11:12,685
to keep up appearances today.
327
00:11:12,686 --> 00:11:14,897
It's Mary. Things aren't going well.
328
00:11:14,898 --> 00:11:18,112
You know why?
Because she's too good for you.
329
00:11:18,113 --> 00:11:19,782
Did I offend you? Are you gonna force me
330
00:11:19,783 --> 00:11:21,034
- to take off my Russian shirt?
- JODY: No,
331
00:11:21,035 --> 00:11:22,705
we've already slept together.
332
00:11:22,706 --> 00:11:24,291
Well, then why the hell
are you complaining?
333
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,336
Jody, you don't need the Termite Club.
334
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,176
You just felled Mary like you
were some Dutch elm disease.
335
00:11:29,177 --> 00:11:30,971
Mary just wants to have a fling
336
00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:32,516
before she goes off
to Physicians on the Front.
337
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,520
M�dicins Sur Le Front?
338
00:11:34,521 --> 00:11:36,483
Oh, they're a wonderful organization.
339
00:11:36,484 --> 00:11:38,194
Do not let her go.
340
00:11:38,195 --> 00:11:40,156
Okay, she will meet a charming Frenchman
341
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,035
named Jacques in linen pants
and salt-and-pepper scruff.
342
00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,622
- Oh, for...
- Ooh, sounds hot.
343
00:11:43,623 --> 00:11:45,333
I'd pick him over you.
344
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,086
You know, Jody,
you made the classic mistake.
345
00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:49,007
Once you find a woman
who's too good for you,
346
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,803
you gotta trap her with the one weakness
347
00:11:50,804 --> 00:11:52,389
that all women share.
348
00:11:52,390 --> 00:11:54,184
Chocolate? The friendship of gay men?
349
00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:56,271
Volkswagen Jettas? Uh...
350
00:11:56,272 --> 00:11:57,775
No. Fear.
351
00:11:57,776 --> 00:11:59,403
- MORGAN: Yeah.
- [whispers] Fear.
352
00:11:59,404 --> 00:12:01,073
You gotta make her
so scared for her future
353
00:12:01,074 --> 00:12:03,829
that you are the only
safe, viable option.
354
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,206
God, you're such an idiot.
355
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:06,543
- Right?
- Did I offend you now?
356
00:12:06,544 --> 00:12:08,337
- Mm.
- Please make me
357
00:12:08,338 --> 00:12:10,049
take off the shirt.
Say, "Morgan, take it off."
358
00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:12,178
[upbeat music]
359
00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:14,266
Hey, you guys haven't had
any of these cookies.
360
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,853
They're from the best bakery
in Manhattan.
361
00:12:15,854 --> 00:12:16,938
Well, that must be the problem.
362
00:12:16,939 --> 00:12:18,483
Too fancy.
363
00:12:18,484 --> 00:12:20,361
I just prefer a plain American cookie.
364
00:12:20,362 --> 00:12:21,739
[door rattles open]
365
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,451
Annette. We should schedule
366
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,829
your next chemo appointment.
367
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,833
How about next Thursday?
368
00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:28,795
Uh, no. Won't work.
369
00:12:28,796 --> 00:12:30,214
Father Michael is coming for supper.
370
00:12:30,215 --> 00:12:31,926
I have to clean all day.
371
00:12:31,927 --> 00:12:33,680
Uh, how about
the following Monday, then?
372
00:12:33,681 --> 00:12:35,308
No good. We got tickets
373
00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:37,730
at Mohegan Sun to see two
of the Four Seasons.
374
00:12:37,731 --> 00:12:39,400
- Yes, we do.
- [chuckles] Annette,
375
00:12:39,401 --> 00:12:41,236
I think it's important
that you try to keep
376
00:12:41,237 --> 00:12:42,781
kind of a consistent schedule
377
00:12:42,782 --> 00:12:44,326
with your chemotherapy appointments.
378
00:12:44,327 --> 00:12:46,121
And I think it's important for her
379
00:12:46,122 --> 00:12:48,460
to have a sense of normalcy
during this tragic time.
380
00:12:48,461 --> 00:12:50,380
I don't totally disagree with that.
381
00:12:50,381 --> 00:12:52,300
I just think that a cancer
treatment is more important
382
00:12:52,301 --> 00:12:54,137
than you two going to an Indian casino.
383
00:12:54,138 --> 00:12:56,476
Okay, well, if you can't do
Thursday or Monday,
384
00:12:56,477 --> 00:12:58,855
our next appointment
isn't until two weeks out.
385
00:12:58,856 --> 00:13:00,817
- Fine, I'll take that.
- No, no, no, no.
386
00:13:00,818 --> 00:13:02,195
We should make one sooner than that.
387
00:13:02,196 --> 00:13:04,157
Mindy, this is exactly why
388
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,911
I didn't want you to get involved.
389
00:13:05,912 --> 00:13:08,248
You always want
to take control of everything.
390
00:13:08,249 --> 00:13:09,460
I think you should leave.
391
00:13:09,461 --> 00:13:11,673
Okay. I guess I'll go.
392
00:13:11,674 --> 00:13:13,300
And I'll take my cookies with me.
393
00:13:13,301 --> 00:13:14,720
No!
394
00:13:14,721 --> 00:13:16,056
I wanna give them to my neighbor.
395
00:13:16,057 --> 00:13:17,643
[scoffs] Fine.
396
00:13:17,644 --> 00:13:20,231
? ?
397
00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:23,571
She's gone. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
398
00:13:23,572 --> 00:13:25,032
- Mmm!
- Oh, my God.
399
00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:26,995
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
400
00:13:26,996 --> 00:13:29,417
Zdra-stu-it-eh, everyone.
401
00:13:29,418 --> 00:13:32,506
Welcome to the frigid world
of Siberian cuisine.
402
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:35,011
I've worked all day preparing
you the finest pickled fish
403
00:13:35,012 --> 00:13:36,556
and jellied meats. I hope you guys
404
00:13:36,557 --> 00:13:38,183
brought your appetites.
405
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,395
- [exhales]
- Hey, Morgan.
406
00:13:39,396 --> 00:13:40,897
I don't mean to be rude,
407
00:13:40,898 --> 00:13:43,277
but this food looks gross as hell.
408
00:13:43,278 --> 00:13:44,739
That is xenophobic, okay?
409
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,241
Like Southern food is so delicious.
410
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,580
Yeah, it is. Famously so.
411
00:13:48,581 --> 00:13:50,124
It's the one thing
that's redeemed the South
412
00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:51,961
from all the bad stuff we've done.
413
00:13:51,962 --> 00:13:53,423
[whispering]
Hey, let's just order a pizza.
414
00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:54,508
- I got it.
- [whispers] No, no.
415
00:13:54,509 --> 00:13:56,136
We're not ordering pizza.
416
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:57,473
- She's gonna see it.
- No, no, we love pizza.
417
00:13:57,474 --> 00:13:59,184
It tastes so good and normal.
418
00:13:59,185 --> 00:14:00,562
- I know what it tastes like.
- Hey, Cortana.
419
00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:02,524
- [electronic beep]
- I need pizza.
420
00:14:02,525 --> 00:14:04,945
- [electronic beep]
- I found five pizza places near you.
421
00:14:04,946 --> 00:14:06,699
Perfect, I'll order
a pizza from each place.
422
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:08,243
[grunts] You know,
I don't know about you,
423
00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:10,039
but my problem is, is I don't know
424
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,084
which delicacy to start with.
425
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,295
- [laughs]
- I'm just gonna go
426
00:14:13,296 --> 00:14:15,174
for the fish and jelly.
427
00:14:15,175 --> 00:14:18,223
Hey, if you like it so much,
put it in your mouth.
428
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,983
- Swallow it, dude.
- I did.
429
00:14:23,984 --> 00:14:25,236
Mm-mm. Swallow it.
430
00:14:25,237 --> 00:14:26,238
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
431
00:14:26,239 --> 00:14:27,908
[both gagging]
432
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,829
Here comes the borscht, extra sour...
433
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:31,624
Oh, yes.
434
00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:33,878
Did you just spit out my jelly trout?
435
00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:35,590
I spent the whole day making that.
436
00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:36,968
The trout kept jumping out of the jelly.
437
00:14:36,969 --> 00:14:38,471
Okay, baby, baby, listen.
438
00:14:38,472 --> 00:14:40,099
It was a pure chemical reaction, okay?
439
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,479
My body rejected it
because of the taste.
440
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,065
- Well, I curse you.
- No.
441
00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:47,238
- May you get lost in the snow.
- No, no!
442
00:14:47,239 --> 00:14:48,783
And I'm about to ask you something,
443
00:14:48,784 --> 00:14:50,369
that's, uh... it's a big step for me.
444
00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:52,541
- Uh-oh.
- You wanna go for breakfast?
445
00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:54,378
[laughs] No.
446
00:14:54,379 --> 00:14:55,797
I mean, I do, but I can't.
447
00:14:55,798 --> 00:14:57,300
- I've got orientation.
- Oh.
448
00:14:57,301 --> 00:14:58,595
For the Physicians on the Front.
449
00:14:58,596 --> 00:15:00,432
Oh... [grunts]
450
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,351
We'll have to make sure
you get your vaccinations.
451
00:15:02,352 --> 00:15:03,855
We wouldn't want you to get malaria.
452
00:15:03,856 --> 00:15:05,357
Well, of course I have vaccinations.
453
00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:07,111
And I'll also have a mosquito net.
454
00:15:07,112 --> 00:15:08,615
You know what a mosquito net
doesn't keep out?
455
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,493
- [sighs]
- Boko Haram.
456
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:13,583
The country that I'm going to
doesn't have Boko Haram.
457
00:15:13,584 --> 00:15:15,921
Oh, no. They... they've all
been eaten by lions?
458
00:15:15,922 --> 00:15:17,256
Okay. [clears throat]
459
00:15:17,257 --> 00:15:19,052
Stop. I see what you're doing.
460
00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:21,432
You are trying to scare me
to keep me from going.
461
00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:23,603
What? I'm not trying to scare you.
462
00:15:23,604 --> 00:15:25,482
- The facts are.
- I wanna do something
463
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:27,736
good for the world using
my skills as a doctor.
464
00:15:27,737 --> 00:15:28,905
- Sure.
- And I wish that
465
00:15:28,906 --> 00:15:30,742
you could support that.
466
00:15:30,743 --> 00:15:32,746
No, I just wish you found
some problems in New York
467
00:15:32,747 --> 00:15:35,752
where the situation isn't
a total waste of your time.
468
00:15:35,753 --> 00:15:37,756
- A total waste of my time?
- Don't worry.
469
00:15:37,757 --> 00:15:39,843
Come on, blow off the meeting.
Stay here.
470
00:15:39,844 --> 00:15:41,807
Let's have sex again.
471
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:47,985
- I think you should go.
- Oh.
472
00:15:47,986 --> 00:15:49,655
- [door thuds]
- Oh...
473
00:15:49,656 --> 00:15:52,159
[phone ringing, receiver clicks]
474
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,997
- Hello?
- It's Nurse Chris
475
00:15:53,998 --> 00:15:55,625
- from oncology.
- You know what?
476
00:15:55,626 --> 00:15:57,462
We gave you back
your stupid popcorn machine.
477
00:15:57,463 --> 00:15:59,633
Now my salt level's so low,
my shoes fell off.
478
00:15:59,634 --> 00:16:01,136
- I hope you're happy.
- I'm only happy
479
00:16:01,137 --> 00:16:02,723
when Brooke is teaching SoulCycle.
480
00:16:02,724 --> 00:16:04,350
I'm calling about Annette Castellano.
481
00:16:04,351 --> 00:16:06,397
Oh. Is she okay?
482
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,316
She's asking for you.
Or more accurately,
483
00:16:08,317 --> 00:16:10,029
shrieking for you.
484
00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:11,906
Oh, Mindy! Mindy, come quick!
485
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:13,852
Dot is trying to kill me!
486
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:20,055
[elevator dings, women arguing]
487
00:16:21,135 --> 00:16:23,350
Dr. Lahiri, never thought
I'd be happy to see you.
488
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:24,897
- They're still at it?
- Yes.
489
00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:26,897
Do you know how bad this is?
Two old women are feuding,
490
00:16:26,922 --> 00:16:28,441
- and I'm not even enjoying it.
- Okay.
491
00:16:28,442 --> 00:16:30,612
DOT: Read a paper!
People do this all the time!
492
00:16:30,613 --> 00:16:32,156
Hey, hey, hey!
What the hell is going on?
493
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,701
Mindy, this woman is a vulture.
494
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,604
She's a vulture. Get her away from me.
495
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:37,548
- She wants my money!
- I don't need your money!
496
00:16:37,573 --> 00:16:39,922
I have my slip-and-fall
settlement from Loehmann's.
497
00:16:39,923 --> 00:16:41,216
Get out. Get out. Go on.
498
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:43,136
- Fine! Fine.
- Go!
499
00:16:43,137 --> 00:16:45,475
I'll go, but when you recover,
500
00:16:45,476 --> 00:16:48,021
you'll have to borrow
somebody else's Costco card.
501
00:16:48,022 --> 00:16:50,985
Backstabber.
502
00:16:50,986 --> 00:16:53,741
You got a Costco card, right?
503
00:16:53,742 --> 00:16:55,119
I... I don't.
504
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,831
[upbeat music]
505
00:16:56,832 --> 00:16:58,250
[door rattles open]
506
00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,586
Tam, can we talk for a sec?
507
00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:01,172
Why, so you can insult me again?
508
00:17:01,173 --> 00:17:02,676
[sighs]
509
00:17:02,677 --> 00:17:04,137
I'm sorry about last night, okay?
510
00:17:04,138 --> 00:17:05,890
And I... I appreciate you taking
511
00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:07,561
such an interest in my people's culture.
512
00:17:07,562 --> 00:17:09,690
Are you kidding me? I hate it.
513
00:17:09,691 --> 00:17:12,069
The food stinks,
the clothes are hella scratchy,
514
00:17:12,070 --> 00:17:13,781
and I'm just gonna say it,
515
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,660
"War and Peace"
would benefit from editing.
516
00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:17,246
But then, wait, why are you
doing all this stuff?
517
00:17:17,247 --> 00:17:19,668
Because it's a tradition.
518
00:17:19,669 --> 00:17:21,422
And everything else
about our relationship
519
00:17:21,423 --> 00:17:22,716
is so nontraditional.
520
00:17:22,717 --> 00:17:24,595
Getting pregnant before marriage,
521
00:17:24,596 --> 00:17:26,765
dating a coworker who eats garbage...
522
00:17:26,766 --> 00:17:28,310
Eats out of the garbage.
523
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:29,938
I just thought a little tradition
524
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:31,525
would give us a stronger foundation
525
00:17:31,526 --> 00:17:33,654
to build the rest
of our lives together on.
526
00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:36,911
Tam, if you wanna do
something traditional,
527
00:17:36,912 --> 00:17:39,500
I would be honored
if you took my last name.
528
00:17:39,501 --> 00:17:42,506
Tamra Tookers? I like that.
529
00:17:42,507 --> 00:17:44,133
- Yes.
- But to be clear,
530
00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:46,388
I'm gonna continue to be
Tamra Webb on IMDB.
531
00:17:46,389 --> 00:17:47,974
I'm gonna change my name to Morgan Webb.
532
00:17:47,975 --> 00:17:50,563
- Mmm, nah.
- Doesn't sound correct.
533
00:17:50,564 --> 00:17:52,149
Now that we can be alone
in a room together...
534
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,571
- Come here.
- Get over here.
535
00:17:54,572 --> 00:17:56,282
[knock at door]
536
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,286
Hey, Dr. K.
I just wanted to let you know
537
00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:00,458
I don't have Siberian
dietary restrictions anymore,
538
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,546
so I finished all your pork rinds.
539
00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:04,131
That's okay. Nothing tastes sweet
540
00:18:04,132 --> 00:18:05,385
to me right now.
541
00:18:05,386 --> 00:18:07,931
Not even deep fried pork skin.
542
00:18:07,932 --> 00:18:09,810
What's wrong? Are you finally regretting
543
00:18:09,811 --> 00:18:10,979
that vote in November?
544
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,482
No. [sighs]
545
00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:14,026
It's Mary.
546
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,572
I tried to scare
her ambitions out of her.
547
00:18:15,573 --> 00:18:16,991
Keep her in America.
548
00:18:16,992 --> 00:18:18,619
Why would you try to scare her?
549
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:20,665
Women have enough
to worry about these days.
550
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:23,128
Like, gaucho pants
are making a comeback.
551
00:18:23,129 --> 00:18:25,048
Can I pull them off?
I mean, of course I can,
552
00:18:25,049 --> 00:18:26,510
but most women can't.
553
00:18:26,511 --> 00:18:28,346
I just don't want to lose her.
554
00:18:28,347 --> 00:18:30,267
You know she's gonna meet
someone better on her trip.
555
00:18:30,268 --> 00:18:32,313
She's gonna sleep with that Dr. Jacque.
556
00:18:32,314 --> 00:18:35,277
That's an imaginary man that
Morgan and Jeremy made up.
557
00:18:35,278 --> 00:18:37,114
So Dr. Reed and Morgan
told you to do that?
558
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:39,160
Yeah. Morgan said the only reason
559
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:41,624
you're with him is
'cause he first wore you down,
560
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,628
then he made you feel like
you couldn't do any better.
561
00:18:43,629 --> 00:18:45,465
Jeremy did the same thing with Anna.
562
00:18:45,466 --> 00:18:48,429
Look, first of all, everyone
knows I could do better.
563
00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:50,683
But I don't want better. I want Morgan.
564
00:18:50,684 --> 00:18:52,896
- Mm-mm...
- I do.
565
00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:55,150
'Cause he's nice, and he's funny,
566
00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:57,405
and most important, he supports me.
567
00:18:57,406 --> 00:18:59,116
Isn't that all any partner wants?
568
00:18:59,117 --> 00:19:01,079
It's true,
I haven't been very supportive.
569
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,166
I just forwarded a YouTube video
about the dangers
570
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:04,753
of African quicksand to her.
571
00:19:04,754 --> 00:19:06,674
Ugh. Well, it's worth a try.
572
00:19:06,675 --> 00:19:09,596
Because despite your alcoholism
and your Republicanism
573
00:19:09,597 --> 00:19:11,934
and a bunch of other isms,
574
00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:13,479
you're actually a good guy.
575
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,483
- Well, thanks, Tamra.
- All right.
576
00:19:15,484 --> 00:19:17,319
[Gretchen panting]
577
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,115
Gretchen, I know that
you're scared of pooping,
578
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,244
but you've gotta push.
579
00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:22,789
It's too late for the epidural, Phil.
580
00:19:22,790 --> 00:19:25,127
- Thank you.
- Is it too late for love?
581
00:19:25,128 --> 00:19:27,424
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm your doctor's boyfriend,
582
00:19:27,425 --> 00:19:29,386
Jody Kimball-Kinney.
And I'm the man who's gonna
583
00:19:29,387 --> 00:19:30,972
- go to Africa with her.
- What?
584
00:19:30,973 --> 00:19:33,059
- You're not coming with me.
- Why not?
585
00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:35,063
It's a great organization,
and I wanna support you.
586
00:19:35,064 --> 00:19:37,151
God, you're beautiful, honey.
I think I love you.
587
00:19:37,152 --> 00:19:40,491
- I... I don't know what to say.
- Say yes!
588
00:19:40,492 --> 00:19:42,077
You're always complaining
about how lonely you are.
589
00:19:42,078 --> 00:19:43,914
Gretchen, shh. Just push.
590
00:19:43,915 --> 00:19:46,043
I want the first thing
my baby sees to be real love.
591
00:19:46,044 --> 00:19:48,006
[panting] Not a failed relationship.
592
00:19:48,007 --> 00:19:49,634
[whimpering] Or my poop.
593
00:19:49,635 --> 00:19:52,515
- [grunting]
- Okay, I guess you can come.
594
00:19:52,516 --> 00:19:54,519
Ah, you've made me
the happiest man in the world.
595
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,897
[Gretchen screaming]
596
00:19:55,898 --> 00:19:57,609
Oh, the little guy's coming.
597
00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:58,861
- You'd better get back in there.
- Oh, okay.
598
00:19:58,862 --> 00:20:00,363
- JODY: I love you.
- Okay.
599
00:20:00,364 --> 00:20:02,786
- [Gretchen grunting]
- JODY: Africa!
600
00:20:02,787 --> 00:20:04,790
MINDY: Annette,
now that you've calmed down,
601
00:20:04,791 --> 00:20:06,710
what were you two
fighting about, anyway?
602
00:20:06,711 --> 00:20:08,714
Dot wants me to write a will.
603
00:20:08,715 --> 00:20:11,260
- You don't have a will?
- Of course not.
604
00:20:11,261 --> 00:20:14,684
Wills are for dead people.
Here I am fighting for my life
605
00:20:14,685 --> 00:20:16,354
with cancer, and she's already
606
00:20:16,355 --> 00:20:17,732
planning for my death.
607
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:19,736
Some friend.
608
00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:22,700
Annette, I want to be supportive of you.
609
00:20:22,701 --> 00:20:25,456
But I would also like permission
to speak honestly with you.
610
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,334
Oh, sure. I can take it.
611
00:20:27,335 --> 00:20:29,631
You are straight up loco in the coco.
612
00:20:29,632 --> 00:20:31,802
- You need a will.
- You, too?
613
00:20:31,803 --> 00:20:33,346
What do you want?
614
00:20:33,347 --> 00:20:35,183
You wouldn't fit into any of my clothes.
615
00:20:35,184 --> 00:20:36,812
- Believe me.
- You're right.
616
00:20:36,813 --> 00:20:38,774
Because what I want
is a lavender sweatshirt
617
00:20:38,775 --> 00:20:40,695
with a picture of a watering can on it.
618
00:20:40,696 --> 00:20:43,659
No, everybody needs a will.
And if you don't have one,
619
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,372
it could lead to huge taxes
or family fights.
620
00:20:46,373 --> 00:20:48,251
- You got a will?
- Yeah, of course.
621
00:20:48,252 --> 00:20:49,963
The minute I got pregnant with Leo.
622
00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:51,925
And it's not just about
finances or figuring out
623
00:20:51,926 --> 00:20:54,472
who's gonna take care of him
if something happens to me.
624
00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:56,183
It's also my end-of-life wishes.
625
00:20:56,184 --> 00:20:57,937
For instance, should I go brain dead,
626
00:20:57,938 --> 00:20:59,273
I would like to be smothered to death
627
00:20:59,274 --> 00:21:01,403
with my Oscar Isaac pillow.
628
00:21:01,404 --> 00:21:04,366
[inhales and exhales sharply]
629
00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:07,874
I guess I never thought about it.
630
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,377
When you spend your whole life
631
00:21:09,378 --> 00:21:11,798
waiting for the next shoe to drop,
632
00:21:11,799 --> 00:21:13,510
you don't spend much time wondering
633
00:21:13,511 --> 00:21:15,389
who's gonna get the shoes.
634
00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:18,896
Look, this is not easy.
But in the meantime,
635
00:21:18,897 --> 00:21:21,818
you should be leaning on people
like me and Dot.
636
00:21:21,819 --> 00:21:24,156
You would be easy to lean on.
637
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:26,578
Your body's like a bean bag,
and you're bottom heavy,
638
00:21:26,579 --> 00:21:28,582
- so you won't wobble.
- Okay.
639
00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:31,546
Thank you for not telling Danny.
640
00:21:31,547 --> 00:21:33,884
You're welcome, but I think
you should tell Danny.
641
00:21:33,885 --> 00:21:35,846
I mean, what if he finds out
from somebody else?
642
00:21:35,847 --> 00:21:37,392
Oh, how's he gonna hear about it?
643
00:21:37,393 --> 00:21:39,437
The only people who know are you, Dot,
644
00:21:39,438 --> 00:21:41,817
and the ticket taker at "Hello, Dolly!"
645
00:21:41,818 --> 00:21:44,238
- I thought it would get me in.
- Hmm.
646
00:21:44,239 --> 00:21:45,866
CHRIS: So this is Shulman & Associates.
647
00:21:45,867 --> 00:21:48,080
It's cute. It's so economical.
648
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:52,129
Watch out, Dr. Reed.
It's that mean gay nurse
649
00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:54,341
- from oncology.
- Aren't gay people
650
00:21:54,342 --> 00:21:56,095
supposed to be nice and funny?
651
00:21:56,096 --> 00:21:58,349
No, gay guys are mean-funny.
652
00:21:58,350 --> 00:22:00,311
Lesbians are nice-funny, like Ellen.
653
00:22:00,312 --> 00:22:02,483
- Oh, hello.
- Please don't mock me.
654
00:22:02,484 --> 00:22:03,902
I know I over-groom my eyebrows.
655
00:22:03,903 --> 00:22:05,573
No, I came to drop this off
656
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,618
for the loud Indian woman
who works here.
657
00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:09,414
Annette Castellano left it in oncology.
658
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:10,916
I'd bring it back
to Staten Island myself,
659
00:22:10,917 --> 00:22:12,462
but I have too many exes there.
660
00:22:12,463 --> 00:22:14,549
What was Annette doing in oncology?
661
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:17,137
Oh, no. She's not a patient, is she?
662
00:22:17,138 --> 00:22:19,058
HIPPA prevents me from
confirming or denying that,
663
00:22:19,059 --> 00:22:21,438
but read my neck.
664
00:22:21,439 --> 00:22:23,066
Oh, no.
665
00:22:23,067 --> 00:22:25,946
Poor Annette. Poor Danny.
666
00:22:25,947 --> 00:22:28,326
I'm gonna drop this off at his place.
667
00:22:28,327 --> 00:22:30,956
I'm sure he wants to talk about this.
668
00:22:30,957 --> 00:22:32,961
MAN: Go to bed.
669
00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:37,985
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00:22:38,035 --> 00:22:42,585
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