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1
00:00:03,162 --> 00:00:04,890
MINDY: Morgan, Morgan!
2
00:00:05,023 --> 00:00:07,514
Oh, Colette, where is Morgan
with my breakfast gordita?
3
00:00:07,515 --> 00:00:09,560
I had my doughnut hours ago.
4
00:00:09,585 --> 00:00:10,997
I can feel my blood sugar plummeting.
5
00:00:11,022 --> 00:00:13,581
Check Phlebotomy.
He and Tamra are canoodling.
6
00:00:13,606 --> 00:00:15,234
It's so unprofessional.
7
00:00:15,259 --> 00:00:17,325
I'm having to clean my cleats out here.
8
00:00:17,326 --> 00:00:20,833
[whacking, dirt scattering]
9
00:00:20,834 --> 00:00:22,670
MORGAN: Aw, ooh,
themed ideas... is it too late...
10
00:00:22,671 --> 00:00:24,799
There you are. Morgan, what the hell?
11
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,621
Where's my breakfast?
I'm feeling extremely faint.
12
00:00:27,646 --> 00:00:29,649
If I fall asleep on a patient,
that's on you.
13
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:32,113
Ooh, sorry, Dr. L. He's really busy.
14
00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:34,826
We're planning our wedding on
interracialweddingplanner.com.
15
00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:36,455
[gasps] Black and white cookies!
16
00:00:36,456 --> 00:00:38,208
MORGAN: Yes, yes!
TAMRA: That's a good idea.
17
00:00:38,209 --> 00:00:40,212
I'm so sorry.
It's just, when you're staring
18
00:00:40,213 --> 00:00:43,343
into your beloved's eyes,
time just melts away.
19
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,183
So am I supposed to eat
your love for my breakfast?
20
00:00:46,184 --> 00:00:49,898
Beverly's got a bag of really
wet carrots in the fridge.
21
00:00:49,899 --> 00:00:51,485
She said, "Have at it."
22
00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:53,739
I don't think they're wet from water.
23
00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:55,576
[quirky music]
24
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:56,996
- Hi.
- Oh, my God, did you see
25
00:00:56,997 --> 00:00:58,582
"The Bachelorette" last night?
26
00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:00,294
I'm sure she's gonna pick
Chris Harrison.
27
00:01:00,295 --> 00:01:02,757
I'm afraid I'm a bit behind
on my "Bach."
28
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:05,471
Anna and I will start
a conversation about Magritte.
29
00:01:05,472 --> 00:01:07,308
Before we know it, it's the dawn.
30
00:01:07,309 --> 00:01:09,479
Why is everyone so in love
and not their normal,
31
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,149
dorky selves where
they were desperate enough
32
00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:12,860
- to hang out with me?
- Why don't you come over
33
00:01:12,861 --> 00:01:15,282
to mine and Anna's?
We could play charades.
34
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,161
You don't have a partner. Wait.
35
00:01:17,162 --> 00:01:19,082
You could be partners with Roger.
36
00:01:19,083 --> 00:01:21,878
I am not going to be partners
with your stupid bird.
37
00:01:21,879 --> 00:01:24,634
Mindy, since you are alone,
maybe you should
38
00:01:24,635 --> 00:01:26,513
consider getting a bird.
39
00:01:26,514 --> 00:01:29,143
You can teach it to peck 9-1-1
if you start to choke.
40
00:01:29,144 --> 00:01:31,565
- Please, leave.
- That's understandable.
41
00:01:31,566 --> 00:01:33,193
[door closes]
42
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:36,074
? ?
43
00:01:36,075 --> 00:01:38,955
[chattering]
44
00:01:38,956 --> 00:01:42,878
Oh, hey, Pepe. It's so great to see you.
45
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It's hard when
all of your friends pair up
46
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,052
and don't have time for you anymore.
47
00:01:46,053 --> 00:01:47,138
[raccoon chattering]
48
00:01:47,139 --> 00:01:49,350
Thanks, I needed that.
49
00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:50,686
I know, at least, you'll never leave me.
50
00:01:50,687 --> 00:01:51,855
[chattering]
51
00:01:51,856 --> 00:01:53,775
Aah, who the hell is this?
52
00:01:53,776 --> 00:01:55,404
Pepe, she's so basic.
53
00:01:55,405 --> 00:01:57,825
Hey, Dr. L, oh, hey, Pepe, hey, Doreen.
54
00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,372
- Aren't they such a cute couple?
- I think he can do better.
55
00:02:00,373 --> 00:02:02,835
- What's up?
- I have exciting news.
56
00:02:02,836 --> 00:02:06,301
Shine your sunglasses...
you're going on vacation.
57
00:02:06,302 --> 00:02:08,138
- Vacation?
- I just got an email
58
00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:10,684
from hotdeals.darkweb.com...
that's where
59
00:02:10,685 --> 00:02:12,855
your ex-husband Ben
booked your honeymoon.
60
00:02:12,856 --> 00:02:15,110
- The trip's next week.
- My honeymoon?
61
00:02:15,111 --> 00:02:16,946
Ben didn't cancel it?
62
00:02:16,947 --> 00:02:18,993
Sure was fast to take me off
his Postmates account.
63
00:02:18,994 --> 00:02:20,329
No, just get a refund. I'm not going.
64
00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:22,833
Mm, it's non-refundable.
65
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,297
You know, if Ben's not going,
maybe you could take
66
00:02:25,298 --> 00:02:27,551
your favorite receptionist.
67
00:02:27,552 --> 00:02:30,432
I am not taking you
on my honeymoon with me.
68
00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:32,019
And I am not going on a honeymoon alone.
69
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,897
That's not the kind of pitiful I am.
70
00:02:33,898 --> 00:02:36,653
I guess I'll unpack my bags
and just give up my dream
71
00:02:36,654 --> 00:02:38,323
of flying on a plane!
72
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:45,087
? ?
73
00:02:45,088 --> 00:02:46,631
Oh, hey, Graciela.
74
00:02:46,632 --> 00:02:48,635
Miss Mindy, I have exciting news.
75
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,931
Is it another Jesus pamphlet?
I read it already.
76
00:02:50,932 --> 00:02:52,643
I thought it was unrealistic.
77
00:02:52,644 --> 00:02:57,319
No, little Leo has his first girlfriend.
78
00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:58,739
MINDY: What? Even my son
79
00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:00,242
is in a relationship?
80
00:03:00,243 --> 00:03:02,079
I mean, I shouldn't be surprised,
81
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,459
with those dreamy eyes
and caramel skin, but still.
82
00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,379
When did I become such a loser?
83
00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:08,968
If I don't find someone,
I'm gonna be alone forever.
84
00:03:08,969 --> 00:03:10,804
Okay, you know what, Graciela?
85
00:03:10,805 --> 00:03:12,933
Tomorrow, I want to drop
Leo off at his father's house.
86
00:03:12,934 --> 00:03:15,564
I am going on my honeymoon by myself.
87
00:03:15,565 --> 00:03:17,818
I don't even know where it is,
but I'm gonna tear
88
00:03:17,819 --> 00:03:22,578
that ish up and find me a man.
#One-ymoon.
89
00:03:22,579 --> 00:03:26,127
Starring Melissa McCarthy, this summer,
90
00:03:26,128 --> 00:03:28,966
one is the horniest number.
91
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:32,349
[theme music]
92
00:03:32,373 --> 00:03:35,722
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
93
00:03:37,275 --> 00:03:39,195
MINDY: Ah, a window seat,
94
00:03:39,196 --> 00:03:41,366
a ticket for Boise, Idaho,
95
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:45,123
and I beat my two seat mates
so I can steal their pillows.
96
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,294
Hey, are you stealing my pillow?
97
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:50,717
No, no, I was fluffing it for you.
98
00:03:50,718 --> 00:03:53,598
Oh, nice try, though
I would've tried to steal yours
99
00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:54,600
if I'd gotten here first.
100
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,729
[both chuckling]
101
00:03:56,730 --> 00:03:59,652
Oh, typical, I got the broken one.
102
00:03:59,653 --> 00:04:02,324
Would it be okay
if I watched yours with you?
103
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,120
As long as you don't mind
watching "Boss Baby."
104
00:04:04,121 --> 00:04:05,789
Mind? It is my favorite movie.
105
00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:07,293
I have it memorized.
106
00:04:07,294 --> 00:04:09,213
- Hey, I'm...
- Excuse me, excuse me.
107
00:04:09,214 --> 00:04:11,551
Hello, looks like I'm in the middle.
108
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,054
Uh, you know what?
109
00:04:13,055 --> 00:04:14,599
I don't mind sitting in the middle.
110
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,311
Oh, nah, I don't like getting bumped
111
00:04:16,312 --> 00:04:17,438
by the drink cart,
and looking out the window
112
00:04:17,439 --> 00:04:19,025
makes me dizzy.
113
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,902
Oh, I'm Martha, by the way.
114
00:04:20,903 --> 00:04:23,450
He's handsome, isn't he?
115
00:04:23,451 --> 00:04:25,078
Little too young for us though.
116
00:04:25,079 --> 00:04:26,873
[sniffles]
117
00:04:26,874 --> 00:04:28,418
I feel like I'm getting
a little bit of a cold.
118
00:04:28,419 --> 00:04:29,963
[sneezes]
119
00:04:29,964 --> 00:04:34,973
? ?
120
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:37,853
What is this show about, do you think?
121
00:04:37,854 --> 00:04:39,941
I bet it'd be easy to tell
if you put your headphones on.
122
00:04:39,942 --> 00:04:42,404
Nah, it's more fun to guess.
123
00:04:42,405 --> 00:04:45,035
What are you reading?
Is it the new James Patterson?
124
00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:47,373
No one does violence
against women like him.
125
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,835
It's called "Wild."
It's by Reese Witherspoon.
126
00:04:49,836 --> 00:04:51,506
I've only read the table of contents,
127
00:04:51,507 --> 00:04:54,095
but I think it's about
a hot woman going on
128
00:04:54,096 --> 00:04:56,224
an outdoorsy vacation
and having a sexy adventure,
129
00:04:56,225 --> 00:04:57,685
which is kind of what I'm about to do.
130
00:04:57,686 --> 00:04:59,313
Mm-hmm, but does she solve crimes?
131
00:04:59,314 --> 00:05:01,734
I like it when they solve crimes.
132
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:05,242
You know what?
I'm gonna put on my headphones.
133
00:05:05,243 --> 00:05:06,870
[quirky music]
134
00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:11,379
They're not plugged into anything.
135
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:14,802
? ?
136
00:05:14,803 --> 00:05:17,641
Oh, thank God, I was on the worst flight
137
00:05:17,642 --> 00:05:19,770
with the chattiest, most annoying woman.
138
00:05:19,771 --> 00:05:22,234
Two Turtles, Two Turtles!
139
00:05:22,235 --> 00:05:24,905
Ah! what are the chances?
140
00:05:24,906 --> 00:05:26,075
You're also going to Two Turtles?
141
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,911
- Mm-hmm.
- You know what?
142
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,457
I'm gonna catch the next van.
I really want to try
143
00:05:29,458 --> 00:05:31,502
- the Togo's here.
- This is the only van,
144
00:05:31,503 --> 00:05:33,506
and this neighborhood gets real
James Patterson-y at night,
145
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,802
- if you know what I mean.
- I do.
146
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,806
Come on, I'll save you a seat
right next to me.
147
00:05:37,807 --> 00:05:44,821
? ?
148
00:05:49,039 --> 00:05:51,209
MINDY: Wow, it's so beautiful.
149
00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:53,088
I feel like I'm in a screensaver.
150
00:05:53,089 --> 00:05:55,425
Or the background of karaoke lyrics.
151
00:05:55,426 --> 00:05:57,429
I had to go through hell
to get to heaven,
152
00:05:57,430 --> 00:05:59,100
but, man, was it worth it.
153
00:05:59,101 --> 00:06:01,312
Two Turtles resort, do your thing.
154
00:06:01,313 --> 00:06:02,940
[crunch]
155
00:06:02,941 --> 00:06:04,902
Oh, my God, you stepped on Victor!
156
00:06:04,903 --> 00:06:06,405
Victor? Who Victor?
157
00:06:06,406 --> 00:06:08,034
He's the turtle you almost just crushed!
158
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,870
He's one of the eponymous turtles
159
00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,624
of the Two Turtles Resort
and Healthy Living Retreat.
160
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:13,253
Oh, my God, I thought
he was a hockey puck.
161
00:06:13,254 --> 00:06:15,048
His shell cracked, oh, God!
162
00:06:15,049 --> 00:06:16,801
He was run over by a truck
and it stayed intact.
163
00:06:16,802 --> 00:06:19,014
- What did you do?
- I barely even saw him.
164
00:06:19,015 --> 00:06:21,310
He's so tiny and quiet.
165
00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:23,273
Medic, I need a medic!
166
00:06:23,274 --> 00:06:24,985
Oh, thank God, all right,
patch up his shell
167
00:06:24,986 --> 00:06:26,445
and calm him down,
but do not let Victoria
168
00:06:26,446 --> 00:06:27,906
see him like this, okay?
169
00:06:27,907 --> 00:06:29,285
The other turtle will be very upset.
170
00:06:29,286 --> 00:06:30,453
Just put a Valium in her lettuce
171
00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:32,250
and bring one to me.
172
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,589
- [sighs]
- We got off on a rocky start,
173
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:39,430
but my name's Mindy, and
I am here for my one-ymoon,
174
00:06:39,431 --> 00:06:41,350
- which is kind of my way to...
- Look, you know what?
175
00:06:41,351 --> 00:06:42,979
I'm gonna stop you right there.
I really can't process
176
00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:44,523
whatever it is you're talking about
177
00:06:44,524 --> 00:06:46,235
because I'm still PTSDing from when you
178
00:06:46,236 --> 00:06:48,656
- almost crushed Victor.
- Can I go to my room?
179
00:06:48,657 --> 00:06:50,577
Best if I take you there.
180
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:52,414
You have to be very careful
where you step, all right?
181
00:06:52,415 --> 00:06:55,170
We got a lot of wildlife,
and you have a heavy tread.
182
00:06:55,171 --> 00:06:56,965
- Follow me.
- Thank you.
183
00:06:56,966 --> 00:06:59,971
? ?
184
00:06:59,972 --> 00:07:02,142
BRETT: And here we are.
185
00:07:02,143 --> 00:07:04,855
Oh, hey, Brett, I can't use a twin bed.
186
00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:06,233
I'm planning on having company. Wink.
187
00:07:06,234 --> 00:07:07,694
[toilet flushes]
188
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,490
Who are we having over, roomie?
189
00:07:09,491 --> 00:07:11,577
What? I'm sharing a room with Martha?
190
00:07:11,578 --> 00:07:13,456
Well, your receptionist
sent us a long note saying
191
00:07:13,457 --> 00:07:14,833
you were gonna come here
all alone, so we put you
192
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,420
in a double room.
193
00:07:16,421 --> 00:07:18,007
It's peak season for us,
so we need to keep
194
00:07:18,008 --> 00:07:19,510
the king beds open
for people in committed,
195
00:07:19,511 --> 00:07:20,845
romantic, fulfilling relationships.
196
00:07:20,846 --> 00:07:22,432
- Okay.
- That seems fair.
197
00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:23,935
Yeah, but don't even worry about it.
198
00:07:23,936 --> 00:07:25,772
We're barely gonna be in the room.
199
00:07:25,773 --> 00:07:27,442
We're gonna be out hiking,
doing yoga, spelunking,
200
00:07:27,443 --> 00:07:28,861
- climbing Mount Diablo.
- Okay, yeah, Brett,
201
00:07:28,862 --> 00:07:31,075
I ain't climbing no Mount Diablo.
202
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,538
No, this is my one-ymoon,
so I'm mostly gonna be
203
00:07:33,539 --> 00:07:35,750
staying here, watching TV,
surfing the Internet...
204
00:07:35,751 --> 00:07:37,754
Oof, hate to break it to you,
but we do not have
205
00:07:37,755 --> 00:07:39,133
Internet or TV.
206
00:07:39,134 --> 00:07:40,970
I find the chaos of the campfire
207
00:07:40,971 --> 00:07:42,681
infinitely more interesting
than any television show.
208
00:07:42,682 --> 00:07:43,933
I'll see you guys
at the smoothie social.
209
00:07:43,934 --> 00:07:45,437
I hope you like bitter greens.
210
00:07:45,438 --> 00:07:47,691
- MARTHA: Bye, Brett.
- Oh, come on.
211
00:07:47,692 --> 00:07:49,361
Okay, you know what, Martha?
212
00:07:49,362 --> 00:07:51,449
I'm just gonna stay here
and play on my phone.
213
00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:53,244
- Oh.
- What?
214
00:07:53,245 --> 00:07:55,540
I'm out of data? Oh, what the hell?
215
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,461
Ugh, I wish I knew how to close my apps.
216
00:07:57,462 --> 00:07:59,548
Here, I have Sprint Unlimited.
217
00:07:59,549 --> 00:08:00,842
- Oh, works for me.
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:08:00,843 --> 00:08:02,554
Oh, sweet data. Thank you.
219
00:08:02,555 --> 00:08:03,723
I'm just gonna hold on
to this phone for as long
220
00:08:03,724 --> 00:08:05,351
as I possibly can.
221
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,980
- Mm...
- Why would my ex-husband think
222
00:08:06,981 --> 00:08:08,649
I would even like this place?
223
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:10,612
Well, maybe that's why
he's your ex-husband.
224
00:08:10,613 --> 00:08:12,407
You know what, Martha?
225
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,952
I don't need your incisive
commentary right now.
226
00:08:13,953 --> 00:08:16,332
I just wish I was on vacation, you know?
227
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:17,793
I wanted a mani-pedi,
228
00:08:17,794 --> 00:08:19,671
I wanted to pass out at the pool bar,
229
00:08:19,672 --> 00:08:21,550
maybe get talked into trying cocaine.
230
00:08:21,551 --> 00:08:23,429
Yeah, I call dibs on that bed.
231
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:24,890
Martha, you're gonna be
in the other bed,
232
00:08:24,891 --> 00:08:27,104
because it's closer to the bathroom.
233
00:08:27,105 --> 00:08:28,982
Mm. Smells weird.
234
00:08:28,983 --> 00:08:30,318
It seems like you're already using it.
235
00:08:30,319 --> 00:08:31,737
MARTHA: True.
236
00:08:31,738 --> 00:08:33,199
? ?
237
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,493
MINDY: Whoa. There are actually
238
00:08:34,494 --> 00:08:36,038
some hot guys here,
239
00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:38,961
in an outdoorsy,
UVA sex scandal-type way.
240
00:08:38,962 --> 00:08:40,922
Hmm, I guess even at a health retreat
241
00:08:40,923 --> 00:08:44,388
you can still have a romantic awakening.
242
00:08:44,389 --> 00:08:46,559
Damn it, everybody's coupled up.
243
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,064
Wife, wife, boyfriend, wife.
244
00:08:49,065 --> 00:08:51,652
Excuse me, crazy woman
talking to herself.
245
00:08:51,653 --> 00:08:53,364
- Casey?
- Brought you a smoothie.
246
00:08:53,365 --> 00:08:54,783
Thank you. What are you doing here?
247
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,620
What am I doing here?
248
00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:58,332
Uh, I like this kind of stuff.
What are you doing here?
249
00:08:58,333 --> 00:08:59,877
I remember one time, in bed, you told me
250
00:08:59,878 --> 00:09:01,547
- you were scared of trees.
- Oh, no, no, no.
251
00:09:01,548 --> 00:09:03,801
I'm not scared of trees.
I hate trees, and I think
252
00:09:03,802 --> 00:09:05,638
they should be turned into tables.
253
00:09:05,639 --> 00:09:07,350
I'm having trouble
concentrating on your hot take
254
00:09:07,351 --> 00:09:09,396
on trees because you got
a little smoothie mustache
255
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:11,108
right there. I got it.
256
00:09:11,109 --> 00:09:14,114
[dreamy music]
257
00:09:14,115 --> 00:09:17,704
? ?
258
00:09:17,705 --> 00:09:19,291
You know, Casey,
why don't we go to your room
259
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,543
- and catch up a little?
- Hey, sweetie.
260
00:09:20,544 --> 00:09:22,339
- Hey, Babe.
- [laughs]
261
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:25,136
Mindy, this is my wife,
Babe Chen-Peerson.
262
00:09:25,137 --> 00:09:28,226
- Your actual name is Babe?
- Yeah, so my parents
263
00:09:28,227 --> 00:09:29,853
named me after
their favorite movie, "Babe,"
264
00:09:29,854 --> 00:09:32,692
because we were released
the same year, 1995.
265
00:09:32,693 --> 00:09:34,446
- Yeah.
- You're 22 years old,
266
00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:36,575
and you're married?
I hadn't even kissed a guy
267
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,412
- at that age.
- [laughs]
268
00:09:38,413 --> 00:09:40,166
Isn't she hilarious? This is the woman
269
00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:42,254
I was telling you about.
We were actually engaged
270
00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:43,881
- about five years ago.
- Oh, when I was
271
00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:46,136
- in high school.
- Yeah, yeah, but Mindy's
272
00:09:46,137 --> 00:09:48,099
- married too, right?
- Yeah, you know, I left him
273
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,895
- in New York, but, um...
- They got divorced.
274
00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:52,774
Gorp? I ate all the chocolate chips,
275
00:09:52,775 --> 00:09:54,778
- so it's mostly filberts.
- It's okay.
276
00:09:54,779 --> 00:09:56,448
Mindy, I'm real sorry
to hear about that,
277
00:09:56,449 --> 00:09:57,826
but it looks like
you've rebounded nicely.
278
00:09:57,827 --> 00:09:59,329
You guys are a cute couple.
279
00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:02,127
No, no, I'm not... I'm not with her.
280
00:10:02,128 --> 00:10:03,796
You know what? I'm tired.
281
00:10:03,797 --> 00:10:05,800
I'm gonna go back to my room,
hit the hay,
282
00:10:05,801 --> 00:10:07,804
maybe check for flights out
of here, slit my wrists, so...
283
00:10:07,805 --> 00:10:08,889
- CASEY: Okay.
- BABE: Oh,
284
00:10:08,890 --> 00:10:09,976
sorry about your divorce.
285
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:10,979
Thank you.
286
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:17,393
BRETT: Yeah, this is a red oak,
and this is a white oak.
287
00:10:17,418 --> 00:10:18,558
- You can tell by the leaves.
- Oh.
288
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,815
- You see that?
- It's not red or white though.
289
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,678
Exactly, yeah, they're green.
290
00:10:22,703 --> 00:10:24,630
- Hey, Brett?
- Oh, yeah?
291
00:10:24,631 --> 00:10:25,784
When is the hike over?
292
00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:27,268
Over? This is the trailhead.
293
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,212
- We're just starting.
- Wait, then what did we just do?
294
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,602
The very short walk
from the parking lot?
295
00:10:31,603 --> 00:10:33,189
I lost a toe nail!
296
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:35,109
[sighs]
297
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:38,032
Psst, here, bought 'em
off a cleaning lady.
298
00:10:38,033 --> 00:10:39,910
$10 a pop, so...
299
00:10:39,911 --> 00:10:42,040
Thank you so much. I'm starving.
300
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,294
- Yeah.
- Wow.
301
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,755
Just one?
302
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:47,676
No, that's great. I love it.
303
00:10:47,702 --> 00:10:49,447
Oh, yours has peanut better
chips in it, huh?
304
00:10:49,472 --> 00:10:51,308
No, this is so generous. I love it.
305
00:10:51,309 --> 00:10:52,769
- Thank you, thank you so much.
- You're welcome, great.
306
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,564
- Yeah.
- BRETT: Okay, everybody,
307
00:10:54,565 --> 00:10:57,946
we're gonna get started before
the rattlesnakes wake up.
308
00:10:57,947 --> 00:10:59,199
You know what?
I should not have shouted that.
309
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,227
They are now awake.
310
00:11:00,252 --> 00:11:01,955
Let's go, let's go. Come on.
311
00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:05,963
Let's hop to it. Keep your feet high.
312
00:11:05,964 --> 00:11:09,136
Oh, right there we got
some mule deer droppings.
313
00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:11,181
- That's nice.
- I was ovulating last night,
314
00:11:11,182 --> 00:11:12,977
and yet, when I came back
from brushing my teeth,
315
00:11:12,978 --> 00:11:14,855
- you were snoring your head off.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
316
00:11:14,856 --> 00:11:16,400
I was tired. You had to watch
317
00:11:16,401 --> 00:11:18,112
another episode of "House of Cards."
318
00:11:18,113 --> 00:11:20,032
You're always tired.
I guess that's what I get
319
00:11:20,033 --> 00:11:22,495
- for marrying a much older guy.
- Okay, you know what?
320
00:11:22,496 --> 00:11:25,209
We talked about this.
Age is different for men.
321
00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:27,046
Yes, you are 15 years
younger than me, but
322
00:11:27,047 --> 00:11:29,468
in the eyes of society,
I'm younger than you.
323
00:11:29,469 --> 00:11:30,971
BABE: Whatever. You know what?
324
00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:32,932
Since I'm not tired, I'm gonna hike up
325
00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:34,603
to that South American couple
because I bet they had sex
326
00:11:34,604 --> 00:11:36,815
- last night.
- Every South American couple
327
00:11:36,816 --> 00:11:40,531
has sex every night. You can't compare.
328
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:43,788
Martha, Martha, Martha,
trouble in paradise.
329
00:11:43,789 --> 00:11:45,458
I guess they're not having sex.
330
00:11:45,459 --> 00:11:47,545
He never had that problem
when he was with me.
331
00:11:47,546 --> 00:11:49,967
Is Casey the guy or the girl?
332
00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:51,971
And yet you can tell birds apart?
333
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:54,267
He's the guy. Ugh, Martha.
334
00:11:54,268 --> 00:11:56,897
Kind of girl's name, Mindy.
335
00:11:56,898 --> 00:11:58,484
If we're lucky, we'll see a bear.
336
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,196
- If we're lucky.
- Oh, good.
337
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,826
Okay, guys, the straggler caught up.
338
00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:04,704
We can go now. Break's over.
339
00:12:04,705 --> 00:12:06,875
No, no, no, I need a break,
more than these people
340
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:08,838
- 'cause I'm the worst one.
- Yeah, but we've been here
341
00:12:08,839 --> 00:12:10,716
for seven or eight minutes,
and if we wait any longer,
342
00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:12,387
we're gonna cramp up.
I can already feel that
343
00:12:12,388 --> 00:12:14,307
lactic acid building
in my calves, come on.
344
00:12:14,308 --> 00:12:15,978
You know what?
345
00:12:15,979 --> 00:12:17,772
I don't mind hanging back,
Brett... in fact,
346
00:12:17,773 --> 00:12:19,401
I've got some experience
tricking Mindy into moving.
347
00:12:19,402 --> 00:12:21,280
I'll just tell her that Oscar Isaac's
348
00:12:21,281 --> 00:12:23,242
- on top of the mountain.
- What? Oscar Isaac's here?
349
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,954
- Where?
- See?
350
00:12:24,955 --> 00:12:26,582
Sorry, guys, I can't let you do that.
351
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:28,252
It's a big part of Two Turtles resort
352
00:12:28,253 --> 00:12:29,796
to leave the weakest behind,
353
00:12:29,797 --> 00:12:30,882
see if they can fend for themselves.
354
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,385
- Really?
- Yeah.
355
00:12:32,386 --> 00:12:34,014
The resort was founded by Ayn Rand.
356
00:12:34,015 --> 00:12:35,182
Look, all you have to do
is follow the trail
357
00:12:35,183 --> 00:12:37,061
to the waterfall, okay?
358
00:12:37,062 --> 00:12:38,939
It's the easiest thing
I've ever asked anybody to do.
359
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:40,860
Yeah, but what if I see a rattlesnake?
360
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,198
Well, you won't see them
as much as you'll hear them,
361
00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,077
but by then it's too late.
362
00:12:45,078 --> 00:12:46,663
Okay, folks, as I was saying,
363
00:12:46,664 --> 00:12:48,500
this area is called Rattlesnake Gulch.
364
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:51,089
[rattling]
365
00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:56,934
? ?
366
00:12:56,935 --> 00:12:59,940
MINDY: Oh, great. A fork in the road?
367
00:12:59,941 --> 00:13:01,693
Ugh, no signal.
368
00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:03,447
Okay, Mindy, left or right?
369
00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:05,910
I know I'm looking for a waterfall.
370
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:08,874
"Don't go chasing waterfalls," TLC.
371
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:12,173
Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, left.
372
00:13:12,174 --> 00:13:14,386
I could be a trail guide.
373
00:13:14,387 --> 00:13:18,268
? ?
374
00:13:18,269 --> 00:13:21,817
I've been walking for hours,
and no sign of any waterfall.
375
00:13:21,818 --> 00:13:24,489
It's so hot. I'm so thirsty.
376
00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:26,576
Should I drink my own pee?
377
00:13:26,577 --> 00:13:28,622
Ooh, a cave. Maybe I can cool off
378
00:13:28,623 --> 00:13:30,584
and come up with a plan,
or a bear will share
379
00:13:30,585 --> 00:13:31,920
its honey with me.
380
00:13:31,921 --> 00:13:35,678
Ah... aah!
381
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,351
[grunting]
382
00:13:40,856 --> 00:13:42,985
[grunting]
383
00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:46,450
Oh, God, my ponytail's stuck.
384
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,080
Help, help!
385
00:13:49,081 --> 00:13:51,376
Somebody help me!
386
00:13:51,377 --> 00:13:53,005
[birds shrieking]
387
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,426
Oh, God, I must be getting delirious.
388
00:13:55,427 --> 00:13:58,515
I'm starting to question some of
the choices I've made in my life.
389
00:13:58,516 --> 00:14:00,144
Hey, it's your girl, Mindy.
390
00:14:00,145 --> 00:14:03,233
Coming to you live
from a cave I fell into.
391
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:05,821
I can't get any Internet,
so whoever finds me
392
00:14:05,822 --> 00:14:08,118
and my phone,
you'll have to upload it later.
393
00:14:08,119 --> 00:14:11,416
And if I die, tell Leo I love him.
394
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,754
And tell Morgan to clear
my search history.
395
00:14:13,755 --> 00:14:14,756
WOMAN: Hey!
396
00:14:14,757 --> 00:14:15,883
Who's there?
397
00:14:15,884 --> 00:14:17,345
Snap out of it!
398
00:14:17,346 --> 00:14:20,768
Oh, my God, Reese Witherspoon?
399
00:14:20,769 --> 00:14:22,563
What are you doing here
in the middle of the woods?
400
00:14:22,564 --> 00:14:24,734
[gasps] Oh, no, you're in rehab.
401
00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:26,446
I knew it. You know what?
402
00:14:26,447 --> 00:14:28,116
If you can help me out of here,
I will write you
403
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,079
a prescription for whatever you want.
404
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,750
No, I am here to teach you
some hard truths, dummy.
405
00:14:32,751 --> 00:14:35,214
Hard truths? No, no, pass.
406
00:14:35,215 --> 00:14:39,013
I choose dare. I dare you to kiss me.
407
00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:40,516
You're my celebrity hall pass.
408
00:14:40,517 --> 00:14:41,768
Oh, that's so weird 'cause you're
409
00:14:41,769 --> 00:14:43,355
my non-celebrity hall pass.
410
00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:45,442
- Really?
- No, that's not a thing.
411
00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:47,655
And besides, why do you need
a celebrity hall pass?
412
00:14:47,656 --> 00:14:49,075
You're not even dating anybody.
413
00:14:49,076 --> 00:14:50,828
You're divorced and single.
414
00:14:50,829 --> 00:14:53,000
Damn, Reese Witherspoon,
that's cold as hell.
415
00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:54,878
I thought you were supposed
to be America's sweetheart.
416
00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:56,923
I thought you were supposed
to give me advice like,
417
00:14:56,924 --> 00:14:59,929
"I will find my one true love
if I give up my big city ways
418
00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:01,725
and go back to my down home roots."
419
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,520
Is that the plot
of "Sweet Home Alabama"?
420
00:15:03,521 --> 00:15:05,357
- Yeah.
- That is a movie.
421
00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:08,030
- Movies aren't real, Mindy.
- Okay, well, if movies
422
00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:09,908
aren't real, what about this one?
423
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,786
It's called "Wild."
It says it's based on
424
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:13,373
- a true story.
- Mm-hmm.
425
00:15:13,374 --> 00:15:15,461
- Did you read it?
- No, I bought it because
426
00:15:15,462 --> 00:15:16,922
you were on the cover, and I really like
427
00:15:16,923 --> 00:15:18,592
this bob hairstyle on you.
428
00:15:18,593 --> 00:15:20,512
If you had read it or watched the movie,
429
00:15:20,513 --> 00:15:22,683
you would know that life
isn't about finding a man.
430
00:15:22,684 --> 00:15:24,312
It's about finding yourself.
431
00:15:24,313 --> 00:15:25,689
Why would I need to find myself?
432
00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:28,528
I know where I am... Idaho. Iowa?
433
00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:30,240
- Ohio?
- Life is not like
434
00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:32,620
the movies, Mindy.
You can't get into Harvard
435
00:15:32,621 --> 00:15:34,916
Law School by submitting
a video tape of yourself
436
00:15:34,917 --> 00:15:37,088
in a bikini. They also don't shut down
437
00:15:37,089 --> 00:15:39,384
all of Tiffany's
for one wedding proposal.
438
00:15:39,385 --> 00:15:41,763
And sometimes life
doesn't have a happy ending.
439
00:15:41,764 --> 00:15:43,684
How dare you?
440
00:15:43,685 --> 00:15:47,733
Your movies are a bunch of
lies, and I demand a refund
441
00:15:47,734 --> 00:15:49,445
for every ticket that I've ever bought
442
00:15:49,446 --> 00:15:51,658
to your films...
and for "Failure to Launch,"
443
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,245
which you weren't even in.
444
00:15:53,246 --> 00:15:55,207
You know what?
I am gonna leave you here.
445
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,876
You clearly have a lot
of thinking to do.
446
00:15:56,877 --> 00:15:58,839
You've already done a lot of farting.
447
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,759
No, that's sulfur... I think
it's sulfur from the ground.
448
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,930
- It's disgusting.
- You know what, Reese?
449
00:16:02,931 --> 00:16:04,767
If you can't help me, can you at least
450
00:16:04,768 --> 00:16:06,354
run back to the resort
and grab me a soda, not diet?
451
00:16:06,355 --> 00:16:08,316
I'm sorry, Mindy... I'm an apparition.
452
00:16:08,317 --> 00:16:10,070
The real Reese Witherspoon
is wandering around
453
00:16:10,071 --> 00:16:11,906
Brentwood Country Mart
trying to remember
454
00:16:11,907 --> 00:16:13,577
where she parked her car.
455
00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:15,497
You're gonna have to
save yourself, Mindy.
456
00:16:15,498 --> 00:16:16,499
Good-bye.
457
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,086
Reese, no!
458
00:16:18,087 --> 00:16:20,299
What a bad celebrity hallucination.
459
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:21,760
At least she looked hot.
460
00:16:21,761 --> 00:16:24,849
Damn it, my hair's really stuck.
461
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,480
Okay, there's gotta be
something in my bag
462
00:16:27,481 --> 00:16:29,776
that can chip away at this rock.
463
00:16:29,777 --> 00:16:31,946
Fidget spinner, fidget spinner.
464
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:33,742
? ?
465
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,039
Toe nail clipper.
466
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:41,466
? ?
467
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,096
[groans]
468
00:16:47,585 --> 00:16:49,914
I hope everyone's
enjoying the classy wine mixer
469
00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:52,029
while this woman of color
was left for dead.
470
00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:54,534
Oh, hey, Martha, great to see you.
471
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,079
What the hell? You're my roommate.
472
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,373
You didn't try to come find me?
473
00:16:57,374 --> 00:16:59,502
I am so sorry. For a while,
474
00:16:59,503 --> 00:17:01,923
I thought I heard you behind
me, but it turned out to be
475
00:17:01,924 --> 00:17:03,760
a weasel with indigestion.
476
00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:06,015
Well, I almost died alone
in the wilderness, so...
477
00:17:06,016 --> 00:17:08,019
Hey, you made it. Cool haircut.
478
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:09,730
I really thought you were
gonna be a statistic.
479
00:17:09,731 --> 00:17:11,359
Wow, you did miss the s'mores though.
480
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:12,820
I'm sorry.
481
00:17:12,821 --> 00:17:14,323
We have one graham cracker left.
482
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,576
No marshmallow or chocolate though.
483
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,786
I should not have come here.
484
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,248
Reese Witherspoon was right.
485
00:17:18,249 --> 00:17:20,210
There is no happy ending
for a single mom
486
00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:21,964
in her 30s looking for love.
487
00:17:21,965 --> 00:17:24,510
The world belongs to
20-somethings and turtles.
488
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,389
Peace.
489
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:29,353
[quirky music]
490
00:17:29,354 --> 00:17:33,361
? ?
491
00:17:33,362 --> 00:17:35,407
Hi, sir, do you mind
putting this in the trunk?
492
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:37,036
We're not supposed to do that.
493
00:17:37,037 --> 00:17:39,207
I could hurt my back
and sue the company.
494
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:40,417
Can't your husband do it?
495
00:17:40,418 --> 00:17:45,636
? ?
496
00:17:45,637 --> 00:17:47,681
CASEY: Babe, you're reading
way too much into this.
497
00:17:47,682 --> 00:17:49,894
Well, I'm done ovulating,
and we've missed another month.
498
00:17:49,895 --> 00:17:52,149
Now our baby's gonna have
a summer birthday.
499
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,028
He won't get cupcakes at school.
500
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:55,489
You know what? It's the altitude.
501
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:57,243
It's gotta be. I'm drained,
502
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,745
and do you ever hear
about people making babies
503
00:17:58,746 --> 00:18:00,791
on top of Mount Everest? No, you don't.
504
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:03,004
BABE: You think you're so smart
just because you're a pastor
505
00:18:03,005 --> 00:18:06,010
and I'm just an inner thigh
model for American Apparel.
506
00:18:06,011 --> 00:18:07,805
Oh, my God... Babe.
507
00:18:07,806 --> 00:18:10,979
Hello, why isn't
your suitcase in the trunk?
508
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,731
I'm beginning to think
you don't have a husband.
509
00:18:12,732 --> 00:18:14,569
Just give me a second, okay?
510
00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:16,906
? ?
511
00:18:16,907 --> 00:18:19,955
- Hey, Casey.
- Hey... whoa.
512
00:18:19,956 --> 00:18:21,416
That doesn't look good.
513
00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:23,003
Well, if my chic bob is uncool,
514
00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:25,215
then Katy Perry's haircut
is also uncool.
515
00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:27,761
No, no, she pulls it off
'cause she's got, like,
516
00:18:27,762 --> 00:18:29,724
big blue eyes and massive boobs
517
00:18:29,725 --> 00:18:31,644
to kind of help pull it all together.
518
00:18:31,645 --> 00:18:34,191
Okay, fine, listen,
I was eavesdropping on you two.
519
00:18:34,192 --> 00:18:37,156
- You're lying to your wife.
- I'm not lying to my wife.
520
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,827
I know for a fact that you
can have sex at high altitudes.
521
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,456
Remember, we did it
on the plane to Haiti.
522
00:18:41,457 --> 00:18:43,668
- We broke a toilet.
- No, you broke a toilet,
523
00:18:43,669 --> 00:18:45,422
- then we had sex.
- All right, let's just agree
524
00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:47,301
that the toilet was broken
before we got there.
525
00:18:47,302 --> 00:18:49,347
The point is, I work with women
every day who are trying
526
00:18:49,348 --> 00:18:51,142
to get pregnant.
527
00:18:51,143 --> 00:18:53,146
Do you know how devastating
it can be for a woman
528
00:18:53,147 --> 00:18:55,275
who wants to have a baby and can't?
529
00:18:55,276 --> 00:18:58,573
Yeah, yes, look, I don't know, I...
530
00:18:58,574 --> 00:19:00,452
It's just, we got married,
and I don't know if I'm ready
531
00:19:00,453 --> 00:19:01,955
to have kids yet.
532
00:19:01,956 --> 00:19:04,585
I'm only 38. It just feels like babies
533
00:19:04,586 --> 00:19:06,965
- making babies.
- Casey, you have lived
534
00:19:06,966 --> 00:19:09,637
more lives than any person
I have ever met, okay?
535
00:19:09,638 --> 00:19:12,142
You're a pastor, you're a DJ,
you're a shoe mogul.
536
00:19:12,143 --> 00:19:14,480
I had a cold-pressed
juice store in Boulder,
537
00:19:14,481 --> 00:19:17,111
but I got ran out of town by the weed.
538
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,865
See? It's time for you to be a dad.
539
00:19:19,866 --> 00:19:21,244
You know, I forgot how much you know me.
540
00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:22,788
Hm.
541
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:25,210
? ?
542
00:19:25,211 --> 00:19:28,007
- Thanks, babe.
- Are you kidding me?
543
00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:30,512
I came back here because you
were supposed to run after me,
544
00:19:30,513 --> 00:19:32,307
but instead you're here talking to her?
545
00:19:32,308 --> 00:19:34,270
Babe, this isn't what
it looks like, Babe, okay?
546
00:19:34,271 --> 00:19:36,774
She means nothing to me.
She's basically like
547
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,029
an older sister-type something.
548
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:40,407
If you had sex with your older sister,
549
00:19:40,408 --> 00:19:42,286
like, a million times, but okay.
550
00:19:42,287 --> 00:19:44,248
Wait, wait, is this why
you're not having sex with me?
551
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,377
Because you wanna rekindle
your thing with this old woman
552
00:19:46,378 --> 00:19:49,091
- and her terrible haircut?
- Okay, well, if my haircut
553
00:19:49,092 --> 00:19:51,721
is terrible, then I guess Katy... oh!
554
00:19:51,722 --> 00:19:53,558
I think it looks bad on both of you!
555
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,812
I am the only one that can
pull off short hair.
556
00:19:55,813 --> 00:19:57,441
Oh, Babe, hey.
557
00:19:57,442 --> 00:20:00,071
MINDY: This happens to me too much.
558
00:20:00,072 --> 00:20:01,491
? ?
559
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:05,123
Whoa, you look bad.
560
00:20:05,124 --> 00:20:06,834
Is it my hair or my face?
561
00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:08,296
Not helping each other.
562
00:20:08,297 --> 00:20:10,467
- Ugh.
- Here.
563
00:20:10,468 --> 00:20:12,638
- I got you a treat.
- What?
564
00:20:12,639 --> 00:20:14,642
Martha, where did you get these?
565
00:20:14,643 --> 00:20:16,312
I stole it from Brett. He keeps them
566
00:20:16,313 --> 00:20:18,149
in a shame locker.
567
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,654
There's also an old "Maxim"
magazine with Megan Fox.
568
00:20:20,655 --> 00:20:23,409
- Do you want it?
- Oh, my God, I love her.
569
00:20:23,410 --> 00:20:26,123
"Megan Fox, Hollywood's funniest woman."
570
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:28,419
Thank you... I can't believe you
stole these.
571
00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:30,257
I had to.
572
00:20:30,258 --> 00:20:32,511
By day two at two turtles,
my husband, Bill,
573
00:20:32,512 --> 00:20:34,598
used to sneak me a bag of candy because
574
00:20:34,599 --> 00:20:36,727
I just couldn't take it anymore.
575
00:20:36,728 --> 00:20:39,733
Wow. You have a husband.
576
00:20:39,734 --> 00:20:41,946
Huh, so he's at home
taking care of your,
577
00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:43,491
I wanna say, like, eight cats?
578
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:48,084
No, actually, he died in February.
579
00:20:48,085 --> 00:20:49,963
You're right about the cats.
580
00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:52,593
Bill and I used to come here
every year for 15 years.
581
00:20:52,594 --> 00:20:54,973
Wow, February.
582
00:20:54,974 --> 00:20:57,102
Martha, that's so recent.
583
00:20:57,103 --> 00:20:59,148
Doesn't it make you sad
to come here without him?
584
00:20:59,149 --> 00:21:01,235
Look, I met you. I'd never met
585
00:21:01,236 --> 00:21:04,867
an Indian person before.
I think I like them.
586
00:21:04,868 --> 00:21:07,539
The thing I learned is that
anything or anybody
587
00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:10,128
can get taken from you at any time.
588
00:21:10,129 --> 00:21:12,257
The only vacation partner
you know will always
589
00:21:12,258 --> 00:21:15,722
be around is you, so you better like
590
00:21:15,723 --> 00:21:17,392
spending time with them.
591
00:21:17,393 --> 00:21:20,315
Martha, that was hella reassuring.
592
00:21:20,316 --> 00:21:22,152
Wait, you're not, like,
a spirit that haunts
593
00:21:22,153 --> 00:21:24,073
this resort and gives out
good advice, are you?
594
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,285
No.
595
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,287
Ow!
596
00:21:27,288 --> 00:21:28,915
Okay.
597
00:21:28,916 --> 00:21:30,710
I guess Reese Witherspoon was right.
598
00:21:30,711 --> 00:21:31,921
And so was Martha.
599
00:21:31,922 --> 00:21:33,091
I didn't need to meet a man
600
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,760
to have a great vacation.
601
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:37,516
I needed to meet myself,
and, as it turns out,
602
00:21:37,517 --> 00:21:39,061
I'm pretty cool.
603
00:21:39,062 --> 00:21:42,401
Hey, Mindy, thanks for all your help.
604
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,029
Babe and I had sex.
605
00:21:44,030 --> 00:21:47,536
- Casey!
- Good to know.
606
00:21:47,537 --> 00:21:49,289
You used to be engaged to that guy?
607
00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:51,794
I was. He's actually a great guy.
608
00:21:51,795 --> 00:21:54,842
He just... he wasn't my Bill.
609
00:21:54,843 --> 00:21:57,974
Yeah, well, they can't all be.
610
00:21:57,975 --> 00:22:02,858
You know, I see you
with someone sharper, feistier.
611
00:22:02,859 --> 00:22:05,030
Someone who can keep up with you.
612
00:22:05,031 --> 00:22:07,701
Someone who can tell you
to shut up when you're being
613
00:22:07,702 --> 00:22:09,329
a bit much.
614
00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:11,792
[poignant music]
615
00:22:11,793 --> 00:22:13,921
I actually know someone like that,
616
00:22:13,922 --> 00:22:17,054
but that didn't work out either.
617
00:22:17,055 --> 00:22:20,101
Well, life is long.
618
00:22:20,102 --> 00:22:23,107
[HAIM's "Little of Your Love"]
619
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:28,785
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
620
00:22:28,786 --> 00:22:33,127
WOMAN: ? You're just another
recovering heart ?
621
00:22:33,128 --> 00:22:35,340
? I wasn't even gonna try ?
622
00:22:35,341 --> 00:22:37,385
? You wouldn't even give the time ?
623
00:22:37,386 --> 00:22:40,976
? Don't be so easy and make it hard ?
624
00:22:40,977 --> 00:22:43,773
? Hey, don't think about
it all too much ?
625
00:22:43,774 --> 00:22:47,030
? My love is gonna be enough ?
626
00:22:47,031 --> 00:22:51,413
? You're so close now ?
627
00:22:51,414 --> 00:22:54,086
? And I know now ?
628
00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:56,507
? You gotta give me just
a little of your love, baby ?
629
00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:58,469
? And I'll try ?
630
00:22:58,470 --> 00:23:00,307
? You gotta give me just
a little of your love ?
631
00:23:00,357 --> 00:23:04,907
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