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1
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,953
Excuse me, miss.
There seems to be a mistake.
2
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,789
I ordered the large cappuccino.
3
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,958
Hello!
4
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,212
- Look at the size of this.
- It's a bowl.
5
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,798
It's like Campbell's cup-o-ccino.
6
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,842
My sides. Please.
7
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,973
So Tony...
8
00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,809
...what's with your clothes?
9
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,103
What?
10
00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:51,232
You look like you're in
Starsky and Hutch.
11
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:54,068
- I look hip.
- No, no, no.
12
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:57,071
More like an undercover cop
trying to be.
13
00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:01,617
- I am a cop trying to look hip.
- Can you do me a favor?
14
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:05,996
When you go to my parents'
don't dress like a 1970s pimp.
15
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:09,041
My parents are a little eccentric.
16
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:14,421
This poem is called, "An Apology
To The Aliens Who Abducted Me..."
17
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:17,132
"...and Whom I inflicted
Destruction Upon..."
18
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:20,302
"...While Having a Panic Attack
Aboard the Ship."
19
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,388
Autobiographical.
20
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:28,227
- What are you gonna do tonight?
- Well...
21
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:31,563
...I'm gonna do a poem about Sherri.
22
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,068
The "Woman, Woe Man,
Whoa Man" poem.
23
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,403
Yeah.
24
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:43,325
Tell me again.
Why did you break up with Sherri?
25
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:46,412
Tony, I told you already,
she's a thief.
26
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,374
- You don't honestly believe that?
- Tony, she's a klepto.
27
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:54,295
To this day I still don't know
where my cat is.
28
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,340
Charlie, every time
you meet a nice girl...
29
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:02,011
- ...you get paranoid and break up.
- That's not true.
30
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,805
- I broke up for good reasons.
- Really?
31
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,641
- Yes.
- What about Jill?
32
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,060
She was in the Mafia.
33
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,648
- She was in the Mafia?
- Yes, the Cosa Nostra.
34
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:19,111
- I never knew how she made a living.
- She was unemployed.
35
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,281
- She didn't work.
- That's a perfect cover.
36
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:25,951
All right. What about Pam?
37
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,998
She smelled like soup.
38
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:37,129
- What does that mean?
- Like beef-vegetable soup.
39
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,548
- Paranoid.
- You weren't there.
40
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,425
- It's all in your head.
- No, no.
41
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,093
- It is.
- No, no.
42
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,683
- I'm up. Wish me luck.
- Good luck.
43
00:05:55,439 --> 00:06:00,861
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it
for our own Mr. Charlie MacKenzie.
44
00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:16,960
Woman
45
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,796
Woe man
46
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,673
Whoa man
47
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,636
She was a thief
You gotta believe
48
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,972
She stole my heart and my cat
49
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,266
Betty
50
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:32,976
Judy
51
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:36,522
Josie and those hot Pussycats
52
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,234
They make me horny
Saturday morny
53
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:43,862
Girls of cartoons
Won't leave me in ruins
54
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,116
I want to be Betty's Barney
55
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:51,870
Hey, Jane, get me off
This crazy thing
56
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,623
Called love
57
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:57,394
- Hi.
- Hi.
58
00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,062
Can I help you?
59
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:05,027
- Yes, do you have haggis?
- Yes, we do. One?
60
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,820
Yes, please.
61
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,281
My parents are Scottish.
62
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,872
That Will be $19.75.
63
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,334
Here you go.
64
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,670
Thank you.
65
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,175
- Will there be anything else?
- No, thanks.
66
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,262
Thanks.
67
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,137
May, get in here!
68
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,328
All right, May, turn off
the Bay City Rollers!
69
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,248
The soccer game's about to begin!
70
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,007
- Hello.
- Hi!
71
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,760
We're in here, son!
72
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:56,221
- Charlie.
- How's it going, William?
73
00:09:56,430 --> 00:10:00,183
Give your mother a kiss,
or I'll kick your teeth in.
74
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,311
Hi. Hey!
75
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,525
May. Shut it!
76
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,404
- How you doing, Dad?
- Fine.
77
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,366
- Come on, Charlie.
- Away you go with your mother.
78
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,828
Why don't you try one
of her bras on, wee girl?
79
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:22,247
Flaunt away, you fairy!
80
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,582
Hey, Morn.
81
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,501
I brought you guys a haggis-
82
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:30,505
That's sweet of you, son.
Thank you.
83
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:34,426
I haven't seen one of these for years.
84
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,971
Actually, I hate them.
But your father will...
85
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:44,394
Look. He's giving Tony all that
Lyndon H. LaRouche rubbish again.
86
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:48,899
It's a known fact, Sonny Jim,
that a secret society...
87
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:53,111
...of the five wealthiest people,
known as the Pentavirate...
88
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:57,407
...run everything in the world,
including the newspapers...
89
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:01,996
...and meet tri-annually at a secret
mansion in Colorado known as...
90
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,791
- ..."The Meadows."
- Who's in the Pentavirate?
91
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,628
The Queen, the Vatican,
the Gettys, the Rothschilds...
92
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,923
...and Colonel Sanders,
before he went tits-up.
93
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:17,302
I hated the Colonel,
with his wee beady eyes...
94
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:22,766
...and that smug look on his face.
"You're gonna buy my chicken."
95
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,144
Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?
96
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,189
He puts addictive chemicals
in chicken...
97
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:32,317
...making you crave it fortnightly,
smart-ass!
98
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,903
Interesting. Cuckoo.
99
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,074
Charlie, would you like a juice?
100
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,913
Look at what I've bought myself,
a Juice Tiger.
101
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:48,667
- A Juice Tiger?
- Yes, I juice everything now.
102
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,335
I'm on a new diet.
103
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:54,131
I'm on a Weekly World News
Garth Brooks Juice Diet.
104
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,841
Scores!
105
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,469
- Margin, one-nil!
- Magic goal!
106
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,139
Let's have a look at the replay.
107
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,808
William, move your head.
108
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,146
Look at the size of that boy's head.
109
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,898
It's like an orange on a toothpick.
110
00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:15,569
- You'll give him a complex.
- That's a huge noggin.
111
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:19,948
It's a virtual planetoid.
Has its own weather system!
112
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,076
Head! Move!
113
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:28,290
- Your Sherri's late.
- Mom...
114
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,584
...Sherri and I broke up.
115
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,295
Not Sherri?
116
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,423
I liked Sherri.
117
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:40,010
I didn't like the other girls
you brought home.
118
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:44,973
- Don't make it any harder for me.
- Why should I make it easier, son?
119
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:49,019
You were good together,
you and Sherri.
120
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:53,565
- I thought you'd marry.
- You know I'm terrified of marriage.
121
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,860
I know that, son. I know that.
122
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:02,115
Maybe it's better not to marry.
Did you read the paper?
123
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:05,035
- No.
- No? Where did I put it?
124
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,205
Stuart! Bring in the paper!
125
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,123
All right, hon!
126
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,001
Head! Paper! Now!
127
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:16,046
Move that melon of yours
if you can.
128
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,591
Hauling that gargantuan
cranium about.
129
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,427
No kidding. His head's like Sputnik.
130
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,013
Spherical, but pointy in parts.
131
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,849
That was offside, wasn't it?
132
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:32,187
He'll be crying himself to sleep
tonight on his huge pillow.
133
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:36,900
Mom, why do you refer to
Weekly World News...
134
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:41,154
...as "the paper"?
The paper contains facts.
135
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,407
This paper contains facts.
136
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:50,038
And this paper has the eighth-highest
circulation in the whole wide world.
137
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:54,167
Plenty of facts.
"Pregnant Man Gives Birth."
138
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,294
That's a fact.
139
00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,090
Here it is, look. Read this.
140
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:04,427
"Mrs. X. The honeymoon murderer."
141
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:10,934
She marries men under fake identities
and then she murders them.
142
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,478
She's murdered three men already.
143
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,982
Victim number one
was a lounge singer.
144
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:20,777
Victim number two,
a Russian martial arts expert.
145
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,320
No!
146
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:27,701
And she's also killed a plumber
named Ralph Elliot.
147
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:33,623
And her whereabouts are unknown.
148
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,907
Give us a kiss, Tony,
and cheer me up. Good night.
149
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,575
Good night.
150
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:18,376
Wow, you've turned into a sexy
wee bastard. You know that?
151
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,170
Thanks, Mrs. MacKenzie.
152
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,505
- Hasn't he?
- I think so.
153
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,592
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night, Charlie.
154
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:30,764
- Good night, Dad.
- Fine, go. You've stayed your hour.
155
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,233
Yes.
156
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,361
- Morning, Charles.
- Morning, sir.
157
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:32,283
Are you working on the forms
for the vendor...?
158
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,785
Yes, captain.
159
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,746
Tony? Tony?
160
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:44,587
I don't want to intrude,
but you seem a little down.
161
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:49,259
Well, captain, it's about my job.
162
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,763
I'm having doubts about being a cop.
163
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:57,267
It's not like how it is on TV.
164
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:00,937
I fill out forms and paperwork
all day.
165
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:06,401
Point well taken, but even though
it's not exciting...
166
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,069
...it's very important.
167
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:11,781
Yeah, but of all my times as a cop,
I've never...
168
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:15,201
I never chased a guy
across a crowded square.
169
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:20,290
I've never hung onto that part of
the helicopter. You know that part?
170
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,250
- You know?
- I know it.
171
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:26,504
I've never hung onto that
or even commandeered a vehicle.
172
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,925
- That sounds like a lot of fun.
- That's the other thing.
173
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,594
You're too nice.
174
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,973
- I'm too nice?
- Yes, you're too nice.
175
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,268
Why not be like a
Starsky and Hutch captain?
176
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:44,147
Where you haul me in your office
and bawl me out...
177
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:48,777
...because you're tired of defending
me from the commissioner.
178
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,655
The truth is, I report to a committee.
179
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,785
Some are appointed, elected,
or co-opted biannually.
180
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,037
- It's a quorum, so to speak.
- A quorum?
181
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:03,958
- Yeah.
- I thought I was gonna be Serpico...
182
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,879
...but instead I'm like Fish
from Barney Miller.
183
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,381
Hey, somebody needs a hug.
184
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:12,842
Captain.
185
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,476
Okay, coming up.
186
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:36,074
- Hi.
- Haggis, right?
187
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:39,202
Yeah, I'm the guy
who ordered the haggis.
188
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,205
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
189
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:45,542
- Do you like haggis?
- No, it's repellent.
190
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,003
I think Scottish cuisine
is based on a dare.
191
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,381
- I'm next.
- You're next.
192
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:52,924
Yes, can I help you?
193
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:58,221
I'll tell you how you can help me.
All I want is one New York steak...
194
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:02,100
...a quarter-inch thick.
That's all. No more, no less.
195
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:06,396
- Get it and let me out.
- I'm really busy. Be right back.
196
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,569
- It's busy, hey?
- It's insane today.
197
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:17,365
My dad's a butcher,
and I used to work at his shop.
198
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:20,577
- I can help you.
- I'd love some help.
199
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,246
- Great, what's your name?
- Charlie.
200
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:25,123
- Harriet.
- Hi, Harriet.
201
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:28,209
- Could you get four porterhouses?
- Okay.
202
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:24,515
Just kidding.
203
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,142
Hi.
204
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,662
So do you live in New York?
205
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:47,205
Really?
206
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:52,669
Just tell me if that's too tense.
You guide me. You guide me.
207
00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:01,010
Mom, can you get the school nurse?
208
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:03,429
Get the school nurse! Help me!
209
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,516
It was an accident in shop.
210
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:11,187
Get me a tourniquet?
Anything.
211
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,201
Thanks for helping me out
at the butcher shop.
212
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:28,371
- You were really nice.
- Oh, I was nice?
213
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:32,834
"Nice." Evidently you think of me
as a woman friend.
214
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:36,212
- And what is wrong with being nice?
- Nothing.
215
00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:37,880
- Charlie?
- Yes?
216
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,592
- Name a bad thing you've done.
- I've done bad things.
217
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:46,014
Tell me one bad thing you've done,
and it better be evil.
218
00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:51,060
- How evil?
- Really evil.
219
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:55,106
So evil that you would
say it was "e-vil."
220
00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:59,068
Like it's the fruits of the Devil.
"E-vil."
221
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:04,532
For example, how many people
have you brutally murdered?
222
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:09,245
"Brutal" is a very subjective word.
223
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:14,917
What's brutal to one person might
be reasonable to somebody else.
224
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:35,646
Excuse me.
225
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,789
Do you know Russian?
226
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,125
Yeah.
227
00:22:56,542 --> 00:23:00,421
Oh, this hurts. No, this is hard.
228
00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:03,925
Not only are you
extremely good-looking...
229
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:07,970
...but you're also very smart
and that's no fair.
230
00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:11,140
- That's hard.
- Bright women intimidate you?
231
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:13,810
No, no. Not at all.
232
00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:17,939
But it's a shame I'm going
to have to destroy you.
233
00:23:24,779 --> 00:23:27,323
- Charlie, come here!
- Nadia...
234
00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:29,075
...I am coming.
235
00:23:34,372 --> 00:23:37,583
Expand, contract, expand.
236
00:23:38,334 --> 00:23:41,337
What do you look for
in a woman you date?
237
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,676
I know everyone always says
sense of humor...
238
00:23:46,968 --> 00:23:49,720
...but I have to go with breast size.
239
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,390
Oh, my God.
240
00:23:52,807 --> 00:23:56,018
Come! Let us dance like
children of the night.
241
00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:09,115
- Here we are.
- Wow, what a great place.
242
00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:12,034
- Some tea?
- Sure.
243
00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:14,537
Well, show yourself around.
244
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:24,630
You know what this place needs?
A large poster of Atlantic City.
245
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:28,551
Oh, look, you got one!
246
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:31,679
I used to live there.
I have herbal teas:
247
00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:34,265
Cubby Wubby Womb Room tea...
248
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:38,019
- ...and Morning Thunder.
- I'll go with Cubby Wubby.
249
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:40,396
All right, thanks.
250
00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:49,739
What's this?
251
00:24:57,163 --> 00:25:01,167
I had a friend who was
a martial arts expert and...
252
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:04,962
- Oh, you had a friend?
- It's a martial arts thing.
253
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:07,965
I thought it would
look good on the wall.
254
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,259
It does.
255
00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:13,554
You know, Scotland has
its own martial arts.
256
00:25:13,763 --> 00:25:15,389
It's called "fuck you!"
257
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:21,687
It's mostly head-butting
and kicking people on the ground.
258
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:37,119
- It's late.
- Not for me.
259
00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:41,082
- Who for, then?
- Who for, then, what?
260
00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:44,627
If not for you,
I wonder who it is late for.
261
00:25:44,794 --> 00:25:48,589
Not me, no.
I like the nightlife.
262
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:50,216
I like to boogie.
263
00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:53,928
I'll make the tea, then.
264
00:26:07,441 --> 00:26:08,985
You know...
265
00:26:12,822 --> 00:26:14,615
...maybe it is late.
266
00:26:14,949 --> 00:26:18,828
I'll be honest with you.
I had a great time tonight...
267
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:22,790
...and I'd really love to kiss you.
268
00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:28,379
But if I kiss you, we'll end up on
the couch, and if we end up there...
269
00:26:28,629 --> 00:26:32,550
...chances are we'll kiss
in the bedroom...
270
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,970
...and that's the part
I always rush into.
271
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:40,474
It's not a good idea to rush
into spending the night together.
272
00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:45,313
- I want to spend the night together.
- I have no problem with that.
273
00:26:47,356 --> 00:26:48,774
You're it.
274
00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:51,861
Come here!
275
00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:53,863
Oh, no! Oh, God!
276
00:27:02,371 --> 00:27:04,498
Yes.
277
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:10,087
Yes.
278
00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:15,343
Ralph!
279
00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:19,847
I Will. I Will.
280
00:27:20,681 --> 00:27:23,017
Wait, not now! Not now!
281
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,728
Ralph! Ralph!
282
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:30,232
Harriet. Harriet.
283
00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:32,610
You were having a dream.
284
00:27:35,029 --> 00:27:37,865
And you kept saying the name
"Ralph."
285
00:27:42,912 --> 00:27:46,582
- Ralph?
- Yeah, you kept saying "Ralph."
286
00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:54,924
She's my friend.
287
00:27:56,467 --> 00:28:00,388
She's your friend. Ralph.
288
00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:05,601
She's your friend. Ralph.
289
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:07,603
Ralph. She.
290
00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:45,975
I'm sorry!
I thought you were somebody else!
291
00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:05,828
Hi.
292
00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:07,955
Hi.
293
00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:13,419
I'm Harriet's friend, Charlie.
You must be Ralph?
294
00:29:13,836 --> 00:29:15,963
I'm Harriet's sister, Rose.
295
00:29:16,547 --> 00:29:20,217
- She gave me a note to give to you.
- Great.
296
00:29:20,468 --> 00:29:23,971
"Dear Charlie,
I didn't want to wake you."
297
00:29:24,305 --> 00:29:28,350
"Make yourself at home
and thanks for the..."
298
00:29:29,477 --> 00:29:30,936
"...hot dog. Harriet."
299
00:29:33,022 --> 00:29:35,483
That's a very nice note.
300
00:29:36,192 --> 00:29:41,322
- Let me make you some breakfast.
- I'd love to, but I'm running late.
301
00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:44,074
How do silver-dollar pancakes...
302
00:29:44,325 --> 00:29:48,537
...fresh orange juice, bacon
and Kona coffee sound?
303
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:50,206
It sounds great.
304
00:29:55,544 --> 00:29:58,964
Sorry. I didn't have
those other things.
305
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:02,843
That's fine.
That other stuff will kill you.
306
00:30:03,052 --> 00:30:08,224
Whereas Froot Loops are light
and reasonably high in fiber.
307
00:30:09,058 --> 00:30:12,561
- I care for Apple Jacks a great deal.
- Got them.
308
00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:14,063
Good.
309
00:30:15,231 --> 00:30:19,068
So, is this your place?
310
00:30:19,276 --> 00:30:23,113
No, this is our place.
Harriet's and mine.
311
00:30:23,405 --> 00:30:27,243
She sort of comes and goes
but always ends up here.
312
00:30:28,619 --> 00:30:30,246
She didn't speak of me?
313
00:30:31,372 --> 00:30:34,250
No, she didn't speak of you.
314
00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:39,296
She mentioned a martial arts guy, and
there was discussion about Ralph?
315
00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:43,425
Oh, really? She spoke about them?
316
00:30:44,051 --> 00:30:49,431
She talked about the martial arts guy
and kind of shouted "Ralph."
317
00:30:58,566 --> 00:31:02,903
- Well, you know Harriet.
- Actually, I don't.
318
00:31:03,153 --> 00:31:06,782
- But you did have sex with her.
- Hello!
319
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,451
I'm gonna go now.
320
00:31:12,955 --> 00:31:15,916
I won't tell Harriet
that anything happened.
321
00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:18,919
Well, Rose. Rose.
322
00:31:21,297 --> 00:31:23,674
Nothing did happen.
323
00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:27,970
Don't worry, Charlie.
Just be careful.
324
00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:36,186
"Just be careful."
325
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:43,444
I had the greatest night of my life
last night.
326
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:13,974
- Sounds like you really like her.
- I'm smitten. I'm in deep smit.
327
00:32:14,183 --> 00:32:17,853
She is wonderful.
But we shouldn't talk about it.
328
00:32:18,020 --> 00:32:21,023
I'll start analyzing it,
and that's no good.
329
00:32:21,231 --> 00:32:25,027
That is good. You should
just let it happen. Relax.
330
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:29,365
I am a park ranger,
and I will lead you on the tour.
331
00:32:29,615 --> 00:32:33,869
All the rangers at Alcatraz
were once guards, myself included.
332
00:32:34,119 --> 00:32:37,748
My name is John Johnson,
but everyone calls me Vickie.
333
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,416
Please follow me.
334
00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:43,712
- I love Vickie. He's great.
- He's the best.
335
00:32:44,755 --> 00:32:47,549
This is the main cellblock area.
336
00:32:47,758 --> 00:32:50,844
Home to such famous criminals
as Al Capone...
337
00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:54,056
...Mickey Cohen,
Joseph "Dutch" Cretzer...
338
00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:58,894
...and Robert Stroud,
the famous Birdman of Alcatraz.
339
00:32:59,061 --> 00:33:04,358
This time will be different.
If something happens, I'll let it go.
340
00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:07,569
It's not my business.
For example, Ralph.
341
00:33:07,861 --> 00:33:10,072
She says "Ralph" in her sleep.
So what?
342
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,407
Ralph?
343
00:33:11,657 --> 00:33:14,034
This cell's for
solitary confinement...
344
00:33:14,243 --> 00:33:17,287
...that's come to be known
as Times Square.
345
00:33:17,579 --> 00:33:19,957
Make sure everyone gets a look.
346
00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:23,544
So who's Ralph?
347
00:33:23,752 --> 00:33:27,464
I don't know. More importantly,
I don't want to know.
348
00:33:27,715 --> 00:33:29,591
That's good.
349
00:33:30,759 --> 00:33:33,595
Did you and Harriet,
you know, last night?
350
00:33:33,804 --> 00:33:35,222
Okay, dirtbag.
351
00:33:35,431 --> 00:33:39,810
All you have to know is that Harriet's
a sweet and loving person.
352
00:33:40,102 --> 00:33:42,938
Well, that's good. That's nice.
353
00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:45,816
- And yes, we did.
- All right!
354
00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:49,611
Close it up, close it up, close it up.
355
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:56,910
This is something the other
tour guides won't tell you.
356
00:33:57,244 --> 00:34:00,080
In this cellblock,
Machine Gun Kelly...
357
00:34:00,289 --> 00:34:05,002
...had what we call
in the prison system, a bitch.
358
00:34:05,294 --> 00:34:10,632
One night, in a jealous rage, Kelly
took a makeshift knife, or shiv...
359
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:14,928
...and cut out the bitch's eyes.
360
00:34:15,637 --> 00:34:18,807
- Another thing about Harriet I love...
- No, no.
361
00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:30,486
And as if this wasn't enough
retribution for Kelly...
362
00:34:30,778 --> 00:34:36,116
...the next day he and four
other inmates took turns pissing...
363
00:34:36,325 --> 00:34:40,287
...into the bitch's ocular cavities.
364
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:46,502
This way to the cafeteria.
365
00:34:47,836 --> 00:34:50,172
Tony, I'm really happy-
366
00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:53,467
Please, don't let me screw
this one up.
367
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:55,886
- I'll try.
- Alrighty. Thanks.
368
00:34:56,178 --> 00:35:00,808
- That ocular cavity thing was...
- When he mentioned pissing into...
369
00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:04,746
Okay, I got another one.
What's worse?
370
00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:09,209
The cable goes out and you're left
with synchronized swimming...
371
00:36:09,418 --> 00:36:11,211
...or...
372
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:12,588
OKEY-
373
00:36:12,838 --> 00:36:15,591
You're stuck on the Bay Bridge
in traffic...
374
00:36:15,883 --> 00:36:21,054
...and you've just had two strong cups
of coffee and three bran muffins.
375
00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:27,436
- No, wait. I have a good one.
- Hello! Hello!
376
00:36:27,728 --> 00:36:30,981
What's worse?
You go to your favorite restaurant...
377
00:36:31,273 --> 00:36:33,775
...order your favorite meal,
take a bite...
378
00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:37,988
...and under the steak
is a scabby Band-Aid.
379
00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:39,281
Or...
380
00:36:43,994 --> 00:36:46,246
Or being electrocuted.
381
00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:52,085
And?
382
00:36:52,294 --> 00:36:57,466
That's it. I was electrocuted once.
It was horrible.
383
00:36:57,633 --> 00:37:00,636
- Oh, well, that's...
- That's a crying shame.
384
00:37:03,013 --> 00:37:06,475
Can we get our check, please?
Thanks a lot.
385
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,936
Electrocuted.
386
00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,187
That was funny.
387
00:37:10,479 --> 00:37:12,314
- I'll get that.
- No, I got it.
388
00:37:12,481 --> 00:37:16,443
- I'll get it. Charlie.
- No, it's mine. No, no, no.
389
00:37:16,652 --> 00:37:20,656
- I got it. I insist.
- No, no, no.
390
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:22,324
- "No" infinity.
- Come on.
391
00:37:22,616 --> 00:37:27,955
- Negatory, good buddy.
- You're embarrassing me.
392
00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:30,415
- I'll pick up the check.
- Okay.
393
00:37:34,628 --> 00:37:36,338
You want to catch a cab?
394
00:37:36,546 --> 00:37:39,675
- I'd like to walk.
- Come on, it's raining.
395
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:42,719
- I'd like to walk.
- Me too.
396
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:45,472
- All right. See you later.
- Bye.
397
00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:47,724
Nice meeting you.
398
00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:56,733
- Well, it's officially raining.
- It's just a drizzle.
399
00:37:57,025 --> 00:38:02,364
You know, I love that you wanted
to walk in the rain.
400
00:38:02,823 --> 00:38:05,867
I'm glad you're meeting
my parents tomorrow.
401
00:38:06,159 --> 00:38:07,828
You know what, Charlie?
402
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:11,665
It's strange,
but I feel really safe with you.
403
00:38:11,873 --> 00:38:15,502
Like in old movies
when people never left each other.
404
00:38:15,711 --> 00:38:18,588
I mean, they stayed together forever.
405
00:38:35,022 --> 00:38:36,398
It's a great house.
406
00:38:36,690 --> 00:38:39,276
They moved in
the day they were married.
407
00:38:39,568 --> 00:38:43,113
I'm throwing them
a 30th wedding anniversary party.
408
00:38:51,121 --> 00:38:53,040
Morn, Dad, we're here.
409
00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:55,083
Stuart!
410
00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:03,383
Charlie!
411
00:39:03,592 --> 00:39:08,597
Is this the wee Harriet?
She's absolutely beautiful.
412
00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:11,767
And you're very, very welcome.
413
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:14,102
I hope you hold on to this one.
414
00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:17,814
You have the face of a wee angel,
do you know that?
415
00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:22,402
I give! I give!
I'm Charlie's father.
416
00:39:23,070 --> 00:39:26,823
Sorry. I'm sorry.
You surprised me. I'm sorry.
417
00:39:27,115 --> 00:39:31,411
I like this one, Charlie.
She's quite a filly.
418
00:39:31,620 --> 00:39:34,289
Charlie tells me you're a butcher.
419
00:39:34,581 --> 00:39:36,541
Yes, I am a butcher.
420
00:39:36,792 --> 00:39:38,919
Do you link your own sausage?
421
00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:40,796
I do.
422
00:39:41,088 --> 00:39:44,758
- Why don't you put your trousers on?
- Hold your horses.
423
00:39:44,966 --> 00:39:48,303
Head! Pants! Now!
424
00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:52,265
Why don't you come with me?
425
00:39:52,474 --> 00:39:56,144
I have wonderful photos
of when he was a wee baby.
426
00:39:56,436 --> 00:39:59,856
Like one of him shitting
his pants at Niagara Falls.
427
00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:02,484
Come on, don't show her the pictures.
428
00:40:02,651 --> 00:40:07,864
Lighten up, Charlie. You've got
a pickle up your ass again.
429
00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:14,996
I'm going to the washroom, okay?
430
00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:18,500
Evidently, I have a pickle up my ass.
431
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:23,130
- You'll be okay if I leave you?
- Fine. Don't worry about me.
432
00:40:25,173 --> 00:40:27,300
Make sure there's enough paper.
433
00:40:27,509 --> 00:40:31,096
And Charlie, light a match!
434
00:40:31,304 --> 00:40:34,349
Are you away to crap, again?
435
00:40:40,355 --> 00:40:43,525
What a cute baby Charlie was!
436
00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:47,028
You okay in there?
You didn't fall in there, did you?
437
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:35,410
I can't believe the resemblance
between you and Charlie.
438
00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:36,745
Thank you.
439
00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:41,791
That's enough about us.
Tell me something about yourself.
440
00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:44,920
Have you always lived
in San Francisco?
441
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:49,883
No, actually I moved around
quite a bit.
442
00:42:04,231 --> 00:42:07,776
I had a really great time
with your family tonight.
443
00:42:12,113 --> 00:42:13,823
Oh, great.
444
00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:20,288
You know that martial arts
expert friend you had?
445
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:28,964
Was that here in San Francisco?
446
00:42:30,006 --> 00:42:33,468
No, actually it was Miami.
447
00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:36,972
Your family's really great, Charlie.
448
00:42:37,264 --> 00:42:42,227
- When your mother took out...
- Was that before Atlantic City?
449
00:42:42,477 --> 00:42:46,815
It's a period in my life that
I really don't like talking about.
450
00:42:48,858 --> 00:42:50,527
Charlie.
451
00:42:51,152 --> 00:42:54,781
I hated Atlantic City, Charlie.
452
00:42:54,990 --> 00:42:58,660
It's a town full of gamblers
and lounge singers.
453
00:43:12,173 --> 00:43:13,675
Ralph?
454
00:43:13,883 --> 00:43:16,386
No. No.
455
00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:19,514
Oh, Ralph.
456
00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:28,273
Have you heard of this? Mrs. X.
457
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:30,150
She murders her husbands...
458
00:43:30,317 --> 00:43:33,153
...then changes her identity
and marries again.
459
00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:36,031
I never heard of it. So what?
460
00:43:38,199 --> 00:43:41,036
I think I'm dating Mrs. X.
461
00:43:42,704 --> 00:43:44,497
Charlie.
462
00:43:46,708 --> 00:43:50,295
Two words. Therapy.
463
00:43:52,797 --> 00:43:55,592
She told me she dated
a martial arts expert.
464
00:43:55,884 --> 00:44:00,055
It says that one of the victims
was a martial arts expert.
465
00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:04,559
Last night, she put a move
on my dad and tried to break his neck.
466
00:44:04,809 --> 00:44:08,396
About 1000 people
have tried to break his neck.
467
00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:13,068
If they also say "Ralph" in their
sleep, it's a good start.
468
00:44:13,318 --> 00:44:15,070
Look here, "Ralph Elliot."
469
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:20,033
"Plumber from Dallas.
Missing since his honeymoon."
470
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:23,411
- Charlie, you're just getting scared.
- Yes.
471
00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:25,622
- Harriet could be the one.
- Yes.
472
00:44:25,914 --> 00:44:29,626
You suspect her, because
you're scared you'll marry her.
473
00:44:29,918 --> 00:44:31,544
And to you that's death.
474
00:44:32,379 --> 00:44:34,589
Come on, just read it, okay?
475
00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:40,345
- Read it. For me, just read it?
- Okay.
476
00:44:45,225 --> 00:44:47,769
- "Larry Leonard, the croner..."
- Crooner.
477
00:44:47,936 --> 00:44:49,771
"...made a name for himself...
478
00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:53,858
...being able to sing, in six
languages, 'Only You."'
479
00:44:54,109 --> 00:44:57,070
Does Harriet know
the words to "Only You"?
480
00:44:57,779 --> 00:45:00,156
We haven't reached that critical...
481
00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:03,284
..."do you know the words
to 'Only You"' phase.
482
00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:06,871
- So I'm afraid I'm not much help.
- Charlie!
483
00:45:07,122 --> 00:45:09,249
You gotta move past this!
484
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:13,753
I'm worried. You're living
according to the Weekly World News.
485
00:45:13,962 --> 00:45:19,426
It's the 8th highest circulating paper
in the world, I'll have you know.
486
00:45:19,801 --> 00:45:21,803
Look, Tony, Mrs. X.
487
00:45:22,011 --> 00:45:24,597
Please, look it up, okay?
488
00:45:24,806 --> 00:45:27,684
For me? Indulge me?
489
00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:30,937
There's no record of deaths.
490
00:45:31,146 --> 00:45:35,942
All three were reported missing,
but so were their wives.
491
00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:40,697
No picture of any brides. For
all we know, they just moved away.
492
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:44,284
That's true.
You're gonna have to realize that.
493
00:45:44,492 --> 00:45:49,330
I would lie to you,
but Kathy always tells the truth.
494
00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,166
Understood.
495
00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:52,834
You feel better now?
496
00:45:53,001 --> 00:45:56,463
- I guess so.
- Good, good. Come on.
497
00:46:01,634 --> 00:46:05,221
I'm Maureen O'Boyle.
Welcome to A Current Affair.
498
00:46:05,472 --> 00:46:08,683
Tonight: Amy, did she or didn't she?
499
00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:12,145
Then, the reptile
that took Hollywood by storm.
500
00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:19,027
But first, the Justice Department
reports an alarming rise...
501
00:46:19,235 --> 00:46:22,530
...in the number
of poisoning murders.
502
00:46:22,697 --> 00:46:27,202
And that 87 percent of the murders
occur within the family...
503
00:46:27,452 --> 00:46:31,831
...a scourge which seems to be
reaching into every home.
504
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,585
Steve Dunleavy examines
poisoning murders. Steve.
505
00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:39,172
The most common poisonings
occur between couples.
506
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:43,009
For reasons as varied
as insurance fraud, jealousy...
507
00:46:43,218 --> 00:46:46,221
...and pure psychopathic behavior.
508
00:46:46,387 --> 00:46:48,389
- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
509
00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:53,561
I have a surprise for you.
510
00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:54,896
What is it?
511
00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:57,190
It's a health shake.
512
00:46:58,399 --> 00:47:00,735
I made it especially for you.
513
00:47:00,902 --> 00:47:02,278
Try it.
514
00:47:05,406 --> 00:47:07,575
Thank you, no. Thanks.
515
00:47:08,576 --> 00:47:11,746
You'll like it, Charlie.
Just take a sip.
516
00:47:12,038 --> 00:47:16,251
I have kitten breath.
I'm just gonna go brush my teeth.
517
00:47:16,417 --> 00:47:18,628
Why don't you just taste it?
518
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,214
It's got strawberries.
Taste it.
519
00:47:21,422 --> 00:47:23,258
I spent 20 minutes making it.
520
00:47:23,424 --> 00:47:27,720
- One little sip. It wouldn't hurt...
- I'm just gonna go.
521
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,106
Fine. Forget it. Forget it.
522
00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:22,984
I'm sorry.
523
00:48:23,484 --> 00:48:25,278
That's okay.
524
00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:29,490
I'm just sensitive.
525
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:34,329
I mean, you didn't drink my shake.
So what? Right?
526
00:48:34,495 --> 00:48:39,000
Look, you spent a half an hour on it.
I understand.
527
00:48:39,167 --> 00:48:40,877
- Let's scratch.
- It's depressing.
528
00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:42,503
- Scratch.
- Scratch?
529
00:48:42,670 --> 00:48:43,671
Scratch.
530
00:48:43,838 --> 00:48:46,841
Come on.
Let's do a little scratching.
531
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:49,677
There you go. Scratching.
532
00:48:49,886 --> 00:48:51,971
- Golden Gate Bridge.
- Golden.
533
00:48:52,180 --> 00:48:55,099
- Presidio. Union Square.
- Got it.
534
00:48:55,350 --> 00:48:56,851
- Little Japan.
- Got it.
535
00:48:57,143 --> 00:48:58,853
Union Square.
536
00:48:59,145 --> 00:49:02,857
- Oakland. Oakland.
- Oakland.
537
00:49:03,107 --> 00:49:05,902
Can you reach around
and get Colt Tower?
538
00:49:06,152 --> 00:49:08,196
- San Andreas Fault.
- Charlie.
539
00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:11,032
You know what I like best about you?
540
00:49:11,324 --> 00:49:15,036
I can tell you anything,
and you don't judge me.
541
00:49:15,203 --> 00:49:20,541
Charlie, have you ever stood
at the edge of a cliff...
542
00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:24,003
...or subway platform with someone...
543
00:49:24,212 --> 00:49:27,840
...and you thought
just for a split second:
544
00:49:28,925 --> 00:49:30,927
What if I pushed him?
545
00:49:31,177 --> 00:49:35,390
I follow the Judeo-Christian
ethic of "Thou shalt not kill."
546
00:49:35,682 --> 00:49:39,394
- But that's just me.
- I'm just making a point...
547
00:49:39,644 --> 00:49:43,231
...of how many times we trust
people with our lives.
548
00:49:43,439 --> 00:49:44,857
I mean, look at us.
549
00:49:45,066 --> 00:49:48,069
Look how vulnerable we are, sleeping.
550
00:49:48,277 --> 00:49:51,864
I could do anything
to you in your sleep.
551
00:49:52,073 --> 00:49:53,449
Like what?
552
00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:55,451
Anything-
553
00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:59,372
You're on your side,
asleep, I could...
554
00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:02,875
...stick a needle in your...
555
00:50:07,422 --> 00:50:09,090
Charlie! Jesus!
556
00:50:09,382 --> 00:50:12,927
I'm showing you we have
a good relationship!
557
00:50:13,177 --> 00:50:16,055
I'm sorry, but I have an ear thing.
558
00:50:16,264 --> 00:50:20,393
In an episode of Night Gallery,
this guy gets an earwig.
559
00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:23,771
They said the good news
is, we got the earwig...
560
00:50:23,980 --> 00:50:27,066
...but the bad news
is, it was a female.
561
00:50:27,275 --> 00:50:28,818
- I'm sorry.
- Good night.
562
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:30,987
- I have an ear thing.
- Good night.
563
00:50:31,279 --> 00:50:33,614
I'm sorry.
564
00:50:33,906 --> 00:50:38,494
- I'm a human blanket.
- Get off. Just, good night.
565
00:50:42,290 --> 00:50:43,958
Well, good night.
566
00:51:07,315 --> 00:51:08,816
Can I help you?
567
00:51:09,108 --> 00:51:11,319
I'd like to place an announcement.
568
00:51:11,611 --> 00:51:14,322
It's my parents' 30th anniversary.
569
00:51:14,530 --> 00:51:16,657
That's $4.50 per word...
570
00:51:16,866 --> 00:51:20,328
...and you've got a choice
of standard or bold.
571
00:51:20,620 --> 00:51:22,997
You having a busy week, Frank?
572
00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:27,502
No, just these two.
It's been dead around here.
573
00:51:29,045 --> 00:51:32,840
I got this tourist,
heart attack on a cable car.
574
00:51:33,132 --> 00:51:36,052
Guy left his heart in San Francisco.
575
00:51:37,637 --> 00:51:39,180
Hey!
576
00:51:39,347 --> 00:51:43,142
That's a real person
you're talking about.
577
00:51:43,351 --> 00:51:45,520
All right, I'm sorry.
578
00:51:45,770 --> 00:51:50,316
There's another one.
San Francisco plumber: Elliot, Ralph.
579
00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:54,028
Disappeared four months ago.
580
00:51:54,195 --> 00:51:56,989
The body was found in a sewer.
581
00:51:57,198 --> 00:52:01,202
Guy takes his job too seriously,
life goes down the drain.
582
00:52:05,039 --> 00:52:07,375
Did they mention his wife?
583
00:52:07,542 --> 00:52:12,380
I know that we're talking
about real people here, so I'm sorry.
584
00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:15,049
Seriously, did they mention the wife?
585
00:52:15,341 --> 00:52:19,887
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to joke about other people's lives.
586
00:52:20,054 --> 00:52:22,557
I'm serious. Did they mention...?
587
00:52:22,849 --> 00:52:26,102
You win, okay? I'm a bad person.
588
00:52:26,394 --> 00:52:29,397
- Take it easy.
- No, he's saying I'm a shit.
589
00:52:29,605 --> 00:52:31,107
Did they mention the wife?
590
00:52:31,357 --> 00:52:33,025
Did they mention the wife?!
591
00:52:33,234 --> 00:52:37,572
No! They didn't mention the wife!
You happy?
592
00:52:37,864 --> 00:52:41,576
Yes, I'm insensitive!
I'm a very insensitive man!
593
00:52:41,826 --> 00:52:47,206
Stop! Look at the insensitive man!
That's why they pay you!
594
00:52:50,084 --> 00:52:51,752
He was my ride home.
595
00:52:53,963 --> 00:52:55,756
Understood.
596
00:52:58,926 --> 00:53:02,263
Why did you have to
see me so urgently?
597
00:53:02,471 --> 00:53:04,432
You couldn't come to my apartment?
598
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,767
It's just safer here.
599
00:53:07,101 --> 00:53:09,478
What? Charlie.
600
00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:14,108
I'm sorry.
601
00:53:14,567 --> 00:53:17,236
I think you're a terrific woman.
602
00:53:18,571 --> 00:53:21,949
I just don't think we should
see each other anymore.
603
00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:27,955
Why? And tell me the truth.
604
00:53:30,291 --> 00:53:33,419
I'm afraid that you're gonna k...
Leave me.
605
00:53:34,128 --> 00:53:36,422
I'm gonna cleave you?
606
00:53:36,923 --> 00:53:39,800
- What does that mean?
- No, leave me.
607
00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:41,802
That you'll reject me.
608
00:53:42,011 --> 00:53:46,140
So I just thought
I'd do a preemptive strike.
609
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:49,143
So you're rejecting me?
610
00:53:49,977 --> 00:53:52,480
I didn't mean to hurt you.
611
00:53:53,272 --> 00:53:55,608
I never wanted to hurt you.
612
00:53:58,110 --> 00:54:00,196
Don't worry, you haven't.
613
00:54:00,488 --> 00:54:02,657
At least you left early on.
614
00:54:06,452 --> 00:54:09,997
So that's it, then?
615
00:54:14,335 --> 00:54:17,046
Because I gotta get back to work.
616
00:55:00,214 --> 00:55:03,551
Woman
Woe man
617
00:55:03,759 --> 00:55:06,554
Whoa man
618
00:55:06,762 --> 00:55:10,349
We had love not just sex
Is she Mrs. X?
619
00:55:10,558 --> 00:55:14,395
I had to run for my life
620
00:55:23,404 --> 00:55:27,575
Jane, get me off of this crazy thing
621
00:55:27,742 --> 00:55:29,618
Called love
622
00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:07,114
Hello.
623
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:11,577
Not that it matters,
but I thought you'd like to know...
624
00:56:11,786 --> 00:56:14,246
...somebody admitted
murdering Ralph.
625
00:56:14,455 --> 00:56:16,582
What about the others?
626
00:56:16,791 --> 00:56:18,959
She just confessed to the one.
627
00:56:19,251 --> 00:56:23,089
Anyway, crime to stop. Gotta go.
Catch you later.
628
00:56:44,068 --> 00:56:46,278
- It's me, Charlie.
- Go away.
629
00:56:46,487 --> 00:56:51,200
I gotta talk to you. I made a big
mistake. I'm an idiot.
630
00:56:51,492 --> 00:56:53,494
I'll go into therapy, okay?
631
00:56:53,702 --> 00:56:58,874
I'll go twice a week. I don't know
if insurance will cover it, but...
632
00:57:01,836 --> 00:57:03,129
What is it?
633
00:57:03,796 --> 00:57:05,589
Hi, Charlie.
634
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:17,852
I don't want to lose you.
635
00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:20,396
You didn't. You rejected me.
636
00:57:20,646 --> 00:57:24,358
Okay, I'm un-rejecting you.
637
00:57:26,819 --> 00:57:30,531
You'll do it again, Charlie.
You'll do it again.
638
00:57:30,865 --> 00:57:33,909
No, I'm not gonna do it again.
639
00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:38,747
Look, I got scared, okay?
640
00:57:39,039 --> 00:57:43,919
Things were going really good
and then I just got soared.
641
00:57:49,592 --> 00:57:51,552
I love you.
642
00:57:53,012 --> 00:57:55,389
I love you too.
643
00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:04,190
But you blew it, Charlie.
You blew it.
644
00:58:27,087 --> 00:58:29,924
Harriet, Harriet
645
00:58:30,174 --> 00:58:34,053
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis
646
00:58:34,261 --> 00:58:37,681
Beautiful, bemuséd
647
00:58:37,890 --> 00:58:40,935
Bellicose butcher
648
00:58:41,185 --> 00:58:44,230
Un trusting
649
00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:47,316
Unknowing
650
00:58:47,816 --> 00:58:50,945
Unlovéd
651
00:58:57,952 --> 00:59:00,996
He wants you back
He screams into the night air
652
00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:05,459
Like a fireman going to a window
That has no fire
653
00:59:09,797 --> 00:59:13,133
Except the passion of his heart
654
00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:15,928
I am lonely
655
00:59:16,929 --> 00:59:19,473
It's really hard
656
00:59:20,516 --> 00:59:22,935
This poem sucks
657
01:00:04,184 --> 01:00:06,353
I'm sorry I didn't trust you.
658
01:00:08,022 --> 01:00:11,358
Harriet, somebody's downstairs
to see you.
659
01:00:12,776 --> 01:00:17,656
She'll be down in a moment.
And could you bring the car around?
660
01:00:17,865 --> 01:00:19,867
Thank you so much. Bye-bye.
661
01:00:20,075 --> 01:00:23,704
Charlie, come here.
I want you to meet a friend.
662
01:00:23,912 --> 01:00:25,706
This is Ralph.
663
01:00:26,707 --> 01:00:30,377
Ralph? Ralph? This is Ralph?
664
01:00:30,711 --> 01:00:33,047
- This is Ralph?
- Come on.
665
01:00:37,509 --> 01:00:38,886
This is Charlie.
666
01:00:39,386 --> 01:00:42,681
- Great to meet you.
- No, it's great to meet you.
667
01:00:42,890 --> 01:00:45,601
Yes, I love you so much.
668
01:00:45,851 --> 01:00:47,186
Oh, God!
669
01:00:48,062 --> 01:00:49,938
Charlie.
670
01:00:50,898 --> 01:00:52,399
I'm naked, aren't I?
671
01:00:52,608 --> 01:00:56,904
Yes. Yes, you are naked.
672
01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:09,833
Okay. I was just naked then.
Very nude.
673
01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:16,131
Nice to meet you and call me?
674
01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:18,092
I Will.
675
01:01:47,913 --> 01:01:48,997
Shut it!
676
01:01:53,252 --> 01:01:56,463
I'd like to propose a toast.
677
01:01:57,506 --> 01:01:59,800
To my wife, May.
678
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:05,889
Thirty years ago today,
May and I were married.
679
01:02:06,140 --> 01:02:09,810
Some of you were there.
Some weren't born.
680
01:02:09,977 --> 01:02:12,271
And some of you are now dead!
681
01:02:12,479 --> 01:02:17,818
But we both said, "I do," and we
haven't agreed on a thing since.
682
01:02:19,153 --> 01:02:21,113
That's true.
683
01:02:21,321 --> 01:02:23,657
But I'm glad I married you...
684
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:27,202
...because it could have been worse.
685
01:02:30,289 --> 01:02:32,332
And besides...
686
01:02:33,208 --> 01:02:35,002
...I still love you.
687
01:02:43,510 --> 01:02:44,553
Thank you.
688
01:02:51,185 --> 01:02:54,480
Tony, would you like to dance?
689
01:02:57,858 --> 01:02:59,693
Let's dance.
690
01:03:06,992 --> 01:03:09,703
It must be a great feeling to have...
691
01:03:11,330 --> 01:03:12,539
You Okay?
692
01:03:12,748 --> 01:03:15,793
No, I'm not. Harriet.
693
01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:19,713
Marry me.
694
01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:22,716
No.
695
01:03:25,093 --> 01:03:26,386
Please?
696
01:03:28,013 --> 01:03:29,848
Why not just live together?
697
01:03:30,057 --> 01:03:33,894
We could live together first.
Let's just live together.
698
01:03:34,102 --> 01:03:37,481
Because I love you.
We should get married...
699
01:03:37,731 --> 01:03:41,568
...and spend the next 30 years
of our life together.
700
01:03:41,777 --> 01:03:47,241
I want you to have my children.
And I want you to have your children.
701
01:03:47,407 --> 01:03:51,286
That sounds like an awful
lot of children, but...
702
01:03:53,413 --> 01:03:54,790
I love you.
703
01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:58,085
I need you.
704
01:03:59,253 --> 01:04:02,047
Let's just get married. Okay?
705
01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:04,091
Harriet...
706
01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:06,260
...be my wife.
707
01:04:06,510 --> 01:04:09,930
All right, everyone,
shut your cake hole!
708
01:04:10,556 --> 01:04:15,102
I'd like to make a toast
to my son, Charlie.
709
01:04:15,644 --> 01:04:18,397
Thanks for throwing this great party.
710
01:04:18,897 --> 01:04:22,943
I hope you have the same
great 30 years that we've had.
711
01:04:23,151 --> 01:04:25,404
To Charlie!
712
01:04:31,118 --> 01:04:32,661
Yes.
713
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:33,954
You Will?
714
01:04:34,162 --> 01:04:36,456
Let's get married, Charlie.
715
01:04:43,755 --> 01:04:48,135
Now, Mr. MacKenzie, if you will
take this woman to be your wife...
716
01:04:48,427 --> 01:04:53,098
...through thick and thin,
for better or for worse...
717
01:04:53,307 --> 01:04:54,975
...please say "I do."
718
01:04:55,767 --> 01:04:56,852
I do.
719
01:04:57,144 --> 01:05:01,982
Now, Harriet, if you will take this
man through good times and bad...
720
01:05:02,190 --> 01:05:07,321
...forever and ever as your
husband, please say "I do."
721
01:05:21,627 --> 01:05:22,961
I do.
722
01:05:24,671 --> 01:05:28,216
Now, Charlie,
kiss the beautiful bride.
723
01:05:53,033 --> 01:05:56,119
Let's get pissed!
724
01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:36,743
Hang a solo!
725
01:06:57,264 --> 01:07:01,977
We have a piper who's down.
It's all right, he's just pissed.
726
01:07:02,227 --> 01:07:06,606
We have a piper down.
I repeat, a piper is down.
727
01:07:11,069 --> 01:07:13,238
This is such a great party.
728
01:07:13,572 --> 01:07:15,449
- It is.
- The marriage was beautiful.
729
01:07:15,741 --> 01:07:16,950
- It was.
- It was great.
730
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:19,578
Yeah. She's great, isn't she?
731
01:07:19,786 --> 01:07:22,122
She's the best. She's incredible.
732
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:26,209
You've been such a chicken,
and finally, you met the one.
733
01:07:26,460 --> 01:07:28,754
How could you think
she was a killer?
734
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:51,234
Come here, Charlie.
Come stand by me, Charlie.
735
01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:08,603
Wait till you see this place.
It's called Poets' Corner.
736
01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:11,439
A lot of the Beat
poets used to go there.
737
01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:21,074
You're really quiet.
738
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:24,744
Oh, I'm just thinking.
739
01:09:24,953 --> 01:09:26,913
Oh, okay. Well...
740
01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:31,251
Why don't I do the talking
for you, all right?
741
01:09:31,459 --> 01:09:33,420
Hi, my name is Harriet.
742
01:09:33,712 --> 01:09:37,757
Hi, Harriet. How's it going?
Good, good, I suppose.
743
01:09:37,966 --> 01:09:41,595
I think you're great, Charlie.
Everything you do is art.
744
01:09:41,845 --> 01:09:46,433
You're a sex machine. Get
on the scene with the sex machine.
745
01:09:46,641 --> 01:09:51,438
Thank you very much.
You're the best husband I ever had...
746
01:09:51,646 --> 01:09:53,940
Why did you just say that?
747
01:09:54,566 --> 01:09:55,984
It was a joke.
748
01:09:56,276 --> 01:09:58,445
Why did you say it?
749
01:09:58,737 --> 01:10:00,488
I thought it might be funny.
750
01:10:00,739 --> 01:10:04,451
Nothing, I just think you're
a great person. That's all.
751
01:10:05,577 --> 01:10:06,912
What?
752
01:10:07,454 --> 01:10:11,499
- You're the best.
- No, no, no! Watch out!
753
01:10:20,467 --> 01:10:23,553
I hear you've been working
the Ralph Elliot case.
754
01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:26,389
- Yes, captain.
- Don't "yes" me.
755
01:10:26,765 --> 01:10:28,642
This is strictly homicide.
756
01:10:29,059 --> 01:10:30,310
I got a friend...
757
01:10:30,477 --> 01:10:33,730
We all got these friends.
I'm warning you.
758
01:10:34,147 --> 01:10:38,235
Back off, Italian boy. Keep
away from this. It's too big.
759
01:10:39,236 --> 01:10:40,570
Wait a minute.
760
01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:45,116
Trust me. I know what I'm
talking about. What's the news?
761
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:48,161
You want to hear news?
Here's the news.
762
01:10:48,495 --> 01:10:51,665
The lady that confessed
to Elliot's murder has...
763
01:10:51,915 --> 01:10:53,458
...confessed to other crimes.
764
01:10:53,667 --> 01:10:54,918
I knew she would.
765
01:10:55,168 --> 01:10:57,629
To the murders of Abraham Lincoln...
766
01:10:57,879 --> 01:11:02,008
...Warren G. Harding and
Julius Caesar. She's a nutcase.
767
01:11:02,300 --> 01:11:04,594
Oh, my God! I gotta go.
768
01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:11,685
Screw this up, and you'll
be writing parking tickets forever.
769
01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:16,356
Captain, I won't let you down.
770
01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:24,114
Good for you. That was better.
771
01:11:24,364 --> 01:11:26,199
- Yeah?
- It was fantastic.
772
01:11:26,449 --> 01:11:28,952
- The beginning felt good.
- It was great.
773
01:11:29,202 --> 01:11:30,620
Too much in the end.
774
01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:32,205
No, it was terrific.
775
01:11:32,497 --> 01:11:35,500
- I need to save a life.
- I'll work on it.
776
01:11:35,709 --> 01:11:37,544
Work on it, it was terrific.
777
01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:39,629
It was a big improvement.
778
01:11:39,879 --> 01:11:41,172
Thanks.
779
01:12:01,234 --> 01:12:03,486
That is Ralph Elliot's wife.
780
01:12:03,695 --> 01:12:07,157
Of course her hair
was much shorter then.
781
01:12:08,825 --> 01:12:11,453
She's gained weight since then...
782
01:12:11,661 --> 01:12:14,414
...but it's definitely her.
783
01:12:14,581 --> 01:12:18,460
Yeah, that's her. He was
really in love with her...
784
01:12:18,710 --> 01:12:22,672
...but I tell you, she was fun,
and smart. Doll-face too.
785
01:12:38,438 --> 01:12:40,440
Thank you very much. Thank you.
786
01:12:44,277 --> 01:12:45,945
This is really cool.
787
01:12:47,530 --> 01:12:48,782
Hi.
788
01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:52,118
Mr. and Mrs. MacKenzie,
enjoy your honeymoon.
789
01:12:52,369 --> 01:12:55,121
When you leave, it'll be
far too soon.
790
01:12:55,413 --> 01:12:56,706
That's great.
791
01:12:57,582 --> 01:13:01,378
Four nights. Your dinner
reservations are at 9:00.
792
01:13:01,628 --> 01:13:02,629
Sounds great.
793
01:13:02,796 --> 01:13:06,299
Put candles by the bed.
With a storm, we lose power.
794
01:13:06,591 --> 01:13:09,302
That's cool. Did you
hear that? A storm.
795
01:13:09,552 --> 01:13:12,389
A storm. We'll be
snugly inside and...
796
01:13:13,598 --> 01:13:14,724
You Okay?
797
01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:21,981
I have a headache.
Excuse me, do you have a drugstore?
798
01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:26,152
- I need aspirin.
- Up the stairs, Mrs. MacKenzie.
799
01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:30,073
Don't move.
800
01:13:34,452 --> 01:13:36,746
- You think she has a headache?
- What?
801
01:13:36,996 --> 01:13:40,583
Nothing. Here's your key.
The Robbie Burns room.
802
01:13:40,834 --> 01:13:42,919
Oh, thanks. Thank you.
803
01:13:49,759 --> 01:13:52,929
- The circuits are down.
- Keep on trying.
804
01:13:53,179 --> 01:13:56,433
Tell the chief I chartered a plane.
805
01:13:58,685 --> 01:14:00,854
- Hey, Paisan!
- What?
806
01:14:01,104 --> 01:14:04,941
Screw up, I'll kick your
spaghetti butt back to Milan.
807
01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:06,693
Not now. Not now.
808
01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:10,822
- Too many ethnic slurs?
- It's not Paisan, it's Paisan.
809
01:14:12,866 --> 01:14:14,534
Hey, Paisan.
810
01:14:46,983 --> 01:14:50,403
Hey, listen. How long is it
gonna take us to get there?
811
01:14:50,695 --> 01:14:53,823
It shouldn't take very long.
812
01:14:55,325 --> 01:14:58,077
Actually, I have no concept of time.
813
01:14:59,913 --> 01:15:01,623
Jeez, is this dangerous?
814
01:15:01,831 --> 01:15:06,336
No. Well, there's
chance in everything.
815
01:15:07,921 --> 01:15:10,423
You've done this before, right?
816
01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:14,761
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I do this all the time.
817
01:15:14,928 --> 01:15:17,764
I've never done it at night.
818
01:15:33,071 --> 01:15:35,532
Mr. and Mrs. MacKenzie,
glad to see you.
819
01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:37,784
Follow me.
820
01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:51,881
How do you know
where you're going?
821
01:15:52,090 --> 01:15:53,967
Instruments. Instruments.
822
01:15:54,259 --> 01:15:56,719
Oh, yeah? Yeah? What's that?
823
01:15:57,470 --> 01:16:02,392
That's the artificial horizon, which
is better than the actual horizon.
824
01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:09,399
You know, I'm gonna wash my hands.
All right? I love you.
825
01:16:34,299 --> 01:16:35,508
Good evening.
826
01:16:57,238 --> 01:16:58,865
What are you doing? Wake up!
827
01:16:59,157 --> 01:17:03,036
Oh, man, I was having
an amazing dream.
828
01:17:03,328 --> 01:17:06,164
I don't care about
your dream! Land the plane!
829
01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:13,630
I was just born, and I was
eight and a half months premature.
830
01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:16,549
- The doctors were freaking out.
- Shut up.
831
01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:19,052
Did I already tell you this dream?
832
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:25,391
Can I have your attention?
I have a few announcements.
833
01:17:25,642 --> 01:17:28,478
Celebrating their 25th
anniversary tonight...
834
01:17:28,770 --> 01:17:31,272
...Mr. and Mrs. Seymour Levenstein.
835
01:17:31,522 --> 01:17:33,733
How about a hand for them?
836
01:17:34,567 --> 01:17:36,027
Thank you, thank you.
837
01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:39,197
Twenty-five years ago,
they were here.
838
01:17:39,405 --> 01:17:43,660
Speaking of new couples,
Charlie and Harriet MacKenzie.
839
01:17:43,910 --> 01:17:47,497
- They look great.
- There's a phone call for you.
840
01:17:47,872 --> 01:17:49,207
It is quite urgent.
841
01:17:49,415 --> 01:17:53,878
Oh, thank you. Sorry. Hello.
842
01:17:54,087 --> 01:17:57,882
- Charlie, you okay?
- Couldn't be better.
843
01:17:58,091 --> 01:18:01,427
Charlie, listen to me.
Harriet is Mrs. X.
844
01:18:01,886 --> 01:18:04,722
She killed Ralph and those
two other guys. I got a picture.
845
01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:08,101
It checked out. It's her, Charlie.
She's the murderer.
846
01:18:08,267 --> 01:18:10,645
I called the police.
It'll take a while.
847
01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:13,022
Just stay where you are.
848
01:18:14,857 --> 01:18:16,150
Charlie?
849
01:18:16,359 --> 01:18:19,320
Hold on one second.
What should I do?
850
01:18:19,570 --> 01:18:21,698
When the time comes,
you'll know.
851
01:18:21,948 --> 01:18:24,117
Thanks, thank you.
852
01:18:26,953 --> 01:18:28,746
Hello, hello, hello?!
853
01:18:29,997 --> 01:18:33,209
Charlie? Charlie?!
854
01:18:33,459 --> 01:18:35,086
- Hello!
- What happened?
855
01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:37,964
The phone died!
I was talking, and it died.
856
01:18:38,256 --> 01:18:42,093
It's common. It will be out until
tomorrow. Have a nice meal.
857
01:18:42,677 --> 01:18:43,970
What happened?
858
01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:46,848
Nothing. The phone lines went dead.
859
01:18:47,098 --> 01:18:49,350
We wish a long and beautiful life.
860
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:53,438
We want to play your song,
The Platters, "Only You."
861
01:18:55,606 --> 01:18:59,819
You can't go. You have
to wait for the wedding dance.
862
01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:02,530
We got a lot of traditions here.
863
01:19:09,829 --> 01:19:14,542
Stop! Excuse me. I'm with the
San Francisco Police Department.
864
01:19:14,792 --> 01:19:17,879
I would like to
commandeer this vehicle.
865
01:19:20,006 --> 01:19:21,048
No.
866
01:19:21,299 --> 01:19:22,675
What do you mean, "no"?
867
01:19:22,884 --> 01:19:27,597
I know you don't have the right
to commandeer my vehicle.
868
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:30,641
Please, can I
commandeer this vehicle?
869
01:19:32,435 --> 01:19:33,478
No.
870
01:19:34,604 --> 01:19:37,565
You're not gonna bend
on this thing, are you?
871
01:19:39,317 --> 01:19:40,359
No.
872
01:19:44,655 --> 01:19:46,282
- Please.
- Go ahead.
873
01:19:46,532 --> 01:19:48,785
No, I don't want to. Charlie.
874
01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:53,039
Charlie?
875
01:20:00,755 --> 01:20:02,381
Charlie!
876
01:20:02,965 --> 01:20:04,884
Help me! I've married a...
877
01:20:06,511 --> 01:20:10,723
...wonderful person who I love
and adore. Who I want...
878
01:20:10,973 --> 01:20:13,184
They've had enough of this crowd.
879
01:20:13,434 --> 01:20:15,520
They have better things to do.
880
01:20:15,728 --> 01:20:18,481
Let's put them
in the honeymoon chair.
881
01:20:23,444 --> 01:20:26,697
- We did it on our honeymoon.
- It's just fun.
882
01:20:28,991 --> 01:20:31,536
No, I haven't had my dessert yet.
883
01:20:34,121 --> 01:20:36,749
To the room! To the room!
884
01:20:50,847 --> 01:20:52,473
Have a good night.
885
01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:55,935
Stay for a nightcap?
886
01:20:56,394 --> 01:20:58,271
No. You two want to be alone.
887
01:20:58,479 --> 01:21:01,315
No, really. Stay for a nightcap.
888
01:21:01,566 --> 01:21:03,234
I really shouldn't.
889
01:21:05,319 --> 01:21:07,530
Stay for a nightcap!
890
01:21:16,706 --> 01:21:21,460
Charlie, there's something
I've been meaning to tell you.
891
01:21:22,378 --> 01:21:23,588
Harriet, I, I...
892
01:21:24,338 --> 01:21:28,885
Charlie, I've been married before.
893
01:21:29,218 --> 01:21:33,431
- Harriet, I already know that.
- You know about my husbands?
894
01:21:33,681 --> 01:21:35,308
Yes.
895
01:21:36,142 --> 01:21:38,561
- Stay away from me!
- What are you doing?
896
01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:40,730
Come on. Stay away from me.
897
01:21:40,980 --> 01:21:43,900
You don't understand.
Give me the ax!
898
01:21:45,192 --> 01:21:46,944
- Don't go!
- Get off me!
899
01:21:47,570 --> 01:21:49,530
- Charlie! Don't go!
- Get off!
900
01:21:49,697 --> 01:21:52,033
Wait. Charlie.
901
01:21:52,408 --> 01:21:54,160
Charlie!
902
01:22:01,876 --> 01:22:04,587
Would you mind not doing that?
903
01:22:04,837 --> 01:22:06,297
This bothers you?
904
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:10,635
No, it's one of my favorite things.
905
01:22:14,805 --> 01:22:18,392
Don't go! Charlie! Charlie!
906
01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:21,729
Charlie.
907
01:22:23,147 --> 01:22:27,151
Hello? Hello? Hello?!
908
01:22:31,405 --> 01:22:35,076
"Dear Harriet. I just can't
handle the commitment."
909
01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:40,039
"It's too hard. I'm leaving you."
910
01:22:40,247 --> 01:22:43,501
"Love, Charlie"?
I didn't write this.
911
01:22:44,669 --> 01:22:46,420
What the fuck?!
912
01:22:46,712 --> 01:22:48,089
Rose!
913
01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:50,716
What's happening?!
Charlie, open the door!
914
01:22:50,967 --> 01:22:53,052
- Rose tried to kill me.
- What?
915
01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:56,138
Shut up! I wrote this note!
916
01:22:56,389 --> 01:22:58,516
You're not to be here when...
917
01:22:58,724 --> 01:23:01,894
...this note has been
placed on the desk!
918
01:23:02,144 --> 01:23:06,232
Do you understand me? You
took her away from me, Charlie.
919
01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:07,692
Like all the rest.
920
01:23:07,984 --> 01:23:09,568
I have had it!
921
01:23:10,820 --> 01:23:15,449
You are going to die.
922
01:23:18,828 --> 01:23:20,413
Would you mind waiting?
923
01:23:20,663 --> 01:23:23,541
I may need you to
help if I make an arrest.
924
01:23:23,958 --> 01:23:25,418
I'll need a ride...
925
01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:27,795
Shucks. Thank you.
926
01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:33,884
What are you doing?!
Charlie, be careful.
927
01:23:42,101 --> 01:23:43,728
Run, Charlie!
928
01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:48,274
Stop it! Stop this, Rose!
Help!
929
01:23:48,774 --> 01:23:50,901
Somebody! Help!
930
01:23:53,863 --> 01:23:55,239
Charlie!
931
01:23:59,452 --> 01:24:03,080
Is that you? Help! Hurry.
932
01:24:15,843 --> 01:24:18,929
Hurry! I'm in here!
Who is it?!
933
01:24:19,513 --> 01:24:23,976
Help! Who's there? Who's there?
Charlie?! Charlie, help!
934
01:24:24,143 --> 01:24:28,439
I'm in the closet. Come here.
Tony! Open the closet.
935
01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:32,902
Charlie!
936
01:24:34,320 --> 01:24:37,073
Charlie!
937
01:24:40,159 --> 01:24:41,535
Where are you going?
938
01:24:41,786 --> 01:24:45,331
We gotta go on the roof.
Charlie and Rose are on the roof.
939
01:24:45,539 --> 01:24:46,749
Charlie's on the roof!
940
01:24:46,999 --> 01:24:48,959
- What're you doing?
- Shut up!
941
01:25:31,669 --> 01:25:34,088
Let's just take this down a notch.
942
01:25:36,173 --> 01:25:40,136
What you're saying is that
Rose killed your husbands...
943
01:25:40,386 --> 01:25:43,347
...forged notes to make you
think they left?
944
01:25:43,597 --> 01:25:48,561
Yes. Listen, that's them
up on the roof. Listen!
945
01:25:49,812 --> 01:25:51,981
You don't get it, do you?
946
01:25:54,358 --> 01:25:58,404
We can talk here, or we can
talk about it downtown.
947
01:26:24,847 --> 01:26:26,473
Charlie!
948
01:26:53,626 --> 01:26:56,837
- Charlie!
- Harriet!
949
01:26:58,297 --> 01:27:00,758
- Charlie, I'm coming up!
- Hang on!
950
01:27:02,718 --> 01:27:04,303
Charlie.
951
01:27:16,315 --> 01:27:18,192
Charlie, be careful!
952
01:27:51,475 --> 01:27:52,518
Rose!
953
01:28:07,992 --> 01:28:11,120
San Francisco police!
I got you!
954
01:28:11,745 --> 01:28:13,914
I got her, Charlie. I got her!
955
01:28:15,958 --> 01:28:19,003
- Don't let me fall!
- Okay, Rose. Come on, we're going in.
956
01:28:19,169 --> 01:28:20,671
Oh, sorry.
957
01:28:40,607 --> 01:28:43,027
Rose, jailbird
958
01:28:44,862 --> 01:28:48,741
Happy in her cage
No longer full of rage
959
01:28:48,991 --> 01:28:50,451
She roosts
960
01:28:56,457 --> 01:29:00,127
Harriet, sweet Harriet
961
01:29:00,627 --> 01:29:02,129
You acted cuckoo
962
01:29:02,379 --> 01:29:06,175
'Cause you thought I would leave you
Sweet bird
963
01:29:12,598 --> 01:29:15,601
Harriet, sweet Harriet
964
01:29:17,227 --> 01:29:22,024
So knowing, so trusting
965
01:29:22,858 --> 01:29:25,277
So lovéd
966
01:29:30,449 --> 01:29:34,495
Harriet, sweet Harriet
72133
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