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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,244 --> 00:00:03,712 Lily has always been one of those people 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,671 who loves their birthday. Loves it. 3 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:08,557 It's my birthday! 4 00:00:13,822 --> 00:00:15,723 So it's a good thing she married Marshall. 5 00:00:17,967 --> 00:00:19,617 It's still my birthday! 6 00:00:21,597 --> 00:00:23,605 Because he loves planning birthdays. 7 00:00:24,036 --> 00:00:26,483 Feliz cumplea�os, baby. 8 00:00:26,977 --> 00:00:30,026 The theme of this today's birthday breakfast in bed is... 9 00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:32,559 "Spanish Interlude" 10 00:00:36,478 --> 00:00:37,286 And... 11 00:00:38,564 --> 00:00:39,916 How on Earth did we end up 12 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,624 in the lyrical rolling hills of Northern Spain? 13 00:00:44,262 --> 00:00:46,628 Baby, tonight is going to be so much fun. 14 00:00:46,901 --> 00:00:49,854 Just the five of us, black-tie dinner, and Ted is picking up 15 00:00:49,979 --> 00:00:52,259 your favorite cognac pumpkin cheesecake from Edgar's. 16 00:00:53,371 --> 00:00:56,972 Okay, I am off to run your super secret birthday errand. 17 00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:03,103 And I'm taking this guy with me because I don't like how he's looking at you. 18 00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,152 A new camera! 19 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,612 Thank you, Marshall. I love it! 20 00:01:11,806 --> 00:01:13,256 Well, little bonus: 21 00:01:13,381 --> 00:01:15,960 I took some naked pictures of myself before I wrapped it. 22 00:01:16,085 --> 00:01:17,201 Put a bow on it. 23 00:01:17,518 --> 00:01:18,853 There wasn't a bow on it. 24 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:20,422 Wrong "it." 25 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:25,068 Thank you, honey. I'm going to get some great shots of our little group with. 26 00:01:26,371 --> 00:01:30,240 Now, kids, you've seen your Aunt Lily's photo albums: leather bound, 27 00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:31,966 acid free paper, 28 00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:34,472 adorable handwritten captions. 29 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,291 And most importantly, the group shot. 30 00:01:37,581 --> 00:01:38,988 Cute photo, right, kids? 31 00:01:39,113 --> 00:01:40,688 What you don't see is what happened 32 00:01:40,813 --> 00:01:42,835 ten seconds before this picture was taken. 33 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:45,356 I want to get the perfect group shot. 34 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,533 Marshall, sit between Barney and Robin. 35 00:01:47,658 --> 00:01:48,658 Why? 36 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,695 You know, light, 37 00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,630 color, balance, aperture... 38 00:01:52,823 --> 00:01:55,709 You're just saying camera words. Wait, you don't want Barney and me 39 00:01:55,834 --> 00:01:57,699 to look like a couple in this picture, do you? 40 00:01:58,047 --> 00:02:00,213 Of course I don't! You two aren't going to last! 41 00:02:00,338 --> 00:02:03,127 - I'm going for timeless here. - How dare you? 42 00:02:03,482 --> 00:02:05,666 - That is so rude! - It's true. 43 00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:08,705 Totally true, we're running on fumes here, but still rude. 44 00:02:10,222 --> 00:02:12,122 We hated Lily's group shots. 45 00:02:13,543 --> 00:02:15,963 Okay, maybe I get a little bossy, 46 00:02:16,088 --> 00:02:18,162 but I just want to remember those times. 47 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,590 Like tonight. 48 00:02:19,715 --> 00:02:22,099 I can't imagine a better birthday than, 49 00:02:22,368 --> 00:02:24,419 than being here with just my four best friends. 50 00:02:27,173 --> 00:02:28,623 And Ted's here now. 51 00:02:33,258 --> 00:02:35,358 Happy birthday! This is Amanda. 52 00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:38,291 And Amanda... 53 00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,982 Synchro: ShalimarFox, -Titou-, Jojo13 54 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:53,226 .:: www.sous-titres.eu ::. 55 00:02:53,952 --> 00:02:56,127 Ted, you were supposed to bring a cheesecake, 56 00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:59,428 but instead you brought two grocery bags and a woman we've never seen before. 57 00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:01,432 Hi. I'm Marshall. Welcome to our home. 58 00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:02,556 Start talking. 59 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,892 Amanda's going to make Lily a cake. She's a chef. 60 00:03:06,271 --> 00:03:09,683 We met when I was at a restaurant last week and I sent some soup back. 61 00:03:09,808 --> 00:03:12,968 Lucky, she's got such pretty hair I didn't mind eating a little bit of it. 62 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,901 They call me "The Shedder" at work. 63 00:03:15,244 --> 00:03:18,240 I'm so glad you're making my birthday cake! 64 00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:21,819 In honor of Lily's 32nd birthday, 65 00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:24,856 I've got a lot of great games planned, starting with... 66 00:03:25,698 --> 00:03:27,122 "Lil-ial Pursuit." 67 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,650 Okay, who's got number one? 68 00:03:29,836 --> 00:03:30,598 I do. 69 00:03:31,365 --> 00:03:33,861 Of course you do. Okay, Amanda goes first. 70 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,158 32 seconds on the clock 71 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,852 to answer as many questions as possible. 72 00:03:39,211 --> 00:03:40,161 And... 73 00:03:40,996 --> 00:03:43,388 Go! Question one: What is Lily's favorite color? 74 00:03:44,276 --> 00:03:47,339 Well, she's wearing pink, so I'm going to say pink. 75 00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:49,121 That's Robin. 76 00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:51,897 Her... 77 00:03:52,091 --> 00:03:54,384 favorite color is... 78 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:55,552 elbow. 79 00:03:57,221 --> 00:03:59,988 I believe Ted was mouthing the word "yellow." 80 00:04:01,892 --> 00:04:03,736 Which also would have been wrong. 81 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,895 This game is called 82 00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:09,581 "Gilding The Lily." 83 00:04:09,775 --> 00:04:11,178 - Nice. - Thank you. 84 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:14,503 You've all written down your favorite things about the birthday girl. 85 00:04:14,697 --> 00:04:17,156 And Lilypad, you guess who wrote what. 86 00:04:17,668 --> 00:04:20,884 "Lily makes everyone in her life, from her friends to her students..." 87 00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:23,470 She's a kindergarten teacher that's what he means by that. 88 00:04:24,114 --> 00:04:27,265 "... feel loved. She makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies ever, 89 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,184 can recite every line from Goonies..." 90 00:04:29,378 --> 00:04:31,822 She saw Goonies in the theater right after her parents separated. 91 00:04:31,947 --> 00:04:34,549 After that, she had real trouble trusting people... 92 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:38,276 "She's the strongest person I've ever met. 93 00:04:38,859 --> 00:04:40,778 "I can't imagine my life without her. 94 00:04:40,903 --> 00:04:42,223 I love you, Lily." 95 00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:46,201 Of course it was me. 96 00:04:46,532 --> 00:04:47,828 That's so sweet. 97 00:04:49,786 --> 00:04:51,886 Lily, you try to guess who wrote this. 98 00:04:58,516 --> 00:04:59,907 "You seem really nice." 99 00:05:02,478 --> 00:05:03,927 I'm going to guess Amanda. 100 00:05:04,121 --> 00:05:05,413 That was me. 101 00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,023 And I meant every word. 102 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:10,984 Well, I should get back to that cake. 103 00:05:11,462 --> 00:05:13,228 Let me know if you need anything. 104 00:05:16,665 --> 00:05:18,178 Quick! Let's do the photo! 105 00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:19,860 Everybody around the fireplace. 106 00:05:20,357 --> 00:05:22,182 Hang on, I'll let Amanda know. 107 00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:25,552 That's okay. She's busy in the kitchen. Let's not bother her. Come on. 108 00:05:25,976 --> 00:05:27,409 Hang on a second. You... 109 00:05:28,169 --> 00:05:29,854 You don't want Amanda in the photo. 110 00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:34,327 It's just, you know, auto-focus, shutter speed, zoom... 111 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,189 Lily, what's going on? 112 00:05:36,314 --> 00:05:37,864 Who wants a party hat? 113 00:05:39,347 --> 00:05:40,500 Look, I'm a bird! 114 00:05:41,015 --> 00:05:42,402 Let's all be birds. 115 00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:43,967 Tell me the truth. 116 00:05:44,161 --> 00:05:47,123 Of course not. I'm not going to let another one of your dumb skanks 117 00:05:47,248 --> 00:05:49,048 ruin my precious memories. 118 00:05:56,257 --> 00:05:57,829 Lily, what are you talking about? 119 00:05:57,954 --> 00:06:00,265 Ted, you always do this. 120 00:06:00,390 --> 00:06:04,096 You bring girls that we barely know to all our big group events. 121 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,904 - I do not. - Really? 122 00:06:06,215 --> 00:06:08,409 Well, let's just take a little walk 123 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,709 down Random Skank Lane. 124 00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:13,578 Or, we could just keep on a-strolling down 125 00:06:13,703 --> 00:06:15,206 Best Birthday Ever Avenue. 126 00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:18,293 Do I get a vote? Skank Lane! Skank Lane! 127 00:06:18,529 --> 00:06:21,043 Guys, I've composed a song for the evening. 128 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,364 Follow along. The chorus goes like this: 129 00:06:23,489 --> 00:06:25,508 Happy, happy Lily day! 130 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,762 Christmas morning, four years ago. 131 00:06:29,314 --> 00:06:32,364 Our first Christmas together, just the five of us. 132 00:06:33,866 --> 00:06:35,787 Here's another fun little trivia game. 133 00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:38,229 It's called Name That Bitch. 134 00:06:42,466 --> 00:06:44,736 It is San... 135 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:48,077 Wrong. You're thinking of Santa, 'cause it was Christmas. 136 00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:50,649 Fun fact, each year, my mother has Easter tea 137 00:06:50,774 --> 00:06:52,369 with her friend Bunny. 138 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,537 Not that fun. 139 00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:57,499 I remember her name. It's Sarah. 140 00:06:57,735 --> 00:06:59,334 Close. It's Leilani. 141 00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:02,185 She just had to come to Christmas because you said, 142 00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,255 "Guys, she might be the one." 143 00:07:04,729 --> 00:07:06,174 And she's not the only 144 00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:07,860 "might be the one." 145 00:07:08,787 --> 00:07:10,833 New Year's Eve, 2007. 146 00:07:10,958 --> 00:07:13,134 Barney, Lily, Robin, Ted, Marshall 147 00:07:13,259 --> 00:07:15,059 and "She's the One" Emily. 148 00:07:15,892 --> 00:07:17,892 Robin's Uncle Cecil's funeral. 149 00:07:18,119 --> 00:07:20,717 Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney, Ted and... 150 00:07:21,177 --> 00:07:24,916 "this just proves you find the one when you're not looking" Isabel. 151 00:07:25,475 --> 00:07:26,718 My appendix surgery. 152 00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:29,493 Robin, Marshall, Barney, Lily, Ted, and... 153 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,784 Well, this one you admitted you were just trying to bang. 154 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,020 Respect. 155 00:07:35,243 --> 00:07:37,815 Remember this yoga instructor you brought to my last birthday? 156 00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:39,058 ... you! 157 00:07:39,829 --> 00:07:40,568 Thanks. 158 00:07:41,899 --> 00:07:43,461 You won't believe who just came in. 159 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,021 Don't look! 160 00:07:45,574 --> 00:07:48,717 Why aren't you looking? It's Slash from Guns N' Roses! 161 00:07:51,726 --> 00:07:52,887 Group shot! 162 00:07:54,012 --> 00:07:55,145 And we got it. 163 00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:58,450 We got a picture with Slash on my birthday. 164 00:07:58,575 --> 00:07:59,825 Awesome, right? 165 00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:02,188 We know how this ends. 166 00:08:02,424 --> 00:08:03,606 Wrong! 167 00:08:05,332 --> 00:08:07,895 You know what's funny about it? He was grabbing my ass. 168 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,953 - Really? He was grabbing my ass, too. - He was grabbing my ass, too. 169 00:08:11,078 --> 00:08:12,532 How many hands does he have? 170 00:08:12,768 --> 00:08:14,727 No wonder he's such a good guitarist. 171 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,495 I'm sorry dude, I thought that you were Lily. 172 00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:19,789 Wait, look at these pictures again. 173 00:08:20,025 --> 00:08:22,189 Barney has the same pose in each shot 174 00:08:22,314 --> 00:08:24,514 and these are, like, years apart. 175 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,070 Yes, about that, 176 00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:33,318 I never take a bad picture. 177 00:08:33,787 --> 00:08:35,096 Never have, never will. 178 00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:38,016 There has to be a bad picture of you. 179 00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:39,291 Not one. 180 00:08:39,711 --> 00:08:42,270 The elementary school? Everyone has bad pictures from school. 181 00:08:42,506 --> 00:08:43,563 Not the Barnacle. 182 00:08:46,355 --> 00:08:47,358 I always look 183 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,668 drop dead, stone cold amazing. 184 00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:53,114 Unlike Marshall, who just looks dead, stoned and cold. 185 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:57,234 He was right, kids. Marshall does a lot of things well, 186 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,756 but he does not take a good picture. 187 00:09:02,461 --> 00:09:04,711 They're not all bad, okay? Like... 188 00:09:05,193 --> 00:09:07,452 Here, look at this one. My eyes are open. 189 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,340 You did put a bow on it. 190 00:09:10,576 --> 00:09:11,575 Chip and dip? 191 00:09:11,743 --> 00:09:12,743 Sure. 192 00:09:14,872 --> 00:09:16,824 Got it! A bad picture. 193 00:09:17,947 --> 00:09:18,973 Is it though? 194 00:09:22,416 --> 00:09:24,463 Wait! You were eating a chip! 195 00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:26,314 Where's the chip? 196 00:09:26,592 --> 00:09:29,809 It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture. 197 00:09:29,934 --> 00:09:31,819 I don't know why. Ask God. 198 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,414 I'm sorry about Amanda. I'm going to say it. 199 00:09:36,539 --> 00:09:38,284 You are being a birthday brat. 200 00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,372 You're all bent out of shape just 'cause you think I ruined a couple pictures. 201 00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:45,166 These girls have ruined 202 00:09:45,402 --> 00:09:46,876 so many events, 203 00:09:47,946 --> 00:09:50,129 or are you forgetting Paris? 204 00:09:50,365 --> 00:09:51,589 What happened in Paris? 205 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,778 It was junior year and I was studying abroad in Paris, 206 00:09:54,903 --> 00:09:56,719 and I hadn't seen Marshall for two months. 207 00:09:56,955 --> 00:09:58,103 Two months. 208 00:09:58,228 --> 00:10:00,338 And I had just started having sex. 209 00:10:00,463 --> 00:10:02,725 I wasn't ready to stop for two months. 210 00:10:03,258 --> 00:10:05,645 And Marshall was coming to visit over spring break. 211 00:10:05,881 --> 00:10:07,213 And at the last minute, 212 00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:09,146 Ted decided to come 213 00:10:09,377 --> 00:10:13,291 with the girl he had just gotten back together with, Karen. 214 00:10:14,088 --> 00:10:14,908 Karen. 215 00:10:15,752 --> 00:10:17,699 I am so excited you're here. 216 00:10:17,935 --> 00:10:19,742 I'm so excited to go to Paris. 217 00:10:19,978 --> 00:10:21,741 I'm so excited to have sex again. 218 00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:25,010 But just before the plane took off... 219 00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:26,194 Wait, 220 00:10:26,498 --> 00:10:27,959 I want to tell you something. 221 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,050 Really? 222 00:10:29,175 --> 00:10:31,296 'Cause I think I want to tell you the same thing. 223 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,543 Is your thing, I had sex with my philosophy professor last night? 224 00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:37,010 'Cause that's my thing. 225 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:42,229 And thus began the longest seven and a half hours of Marshall's life. 226 00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:56,904 - When I picked them up at the airport. - Ted broke up with me. 227 00:10:57,292 --> 00:10:59,032 I need to sleep in your room this week. 228 00:10:59,351 --> 00:11:00,700 Marshall can bunk with Ted. 229 00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:08,234 Two months! 230 00:11:08,492 --> 00:11:10,484 My balls were bleu! Bleu! 231 00:11:11,574 --> 00:11:13,062 This will come as no shock, 232 00:11:13,187 --> 00:11:15,278 but the rest of the trip was terrible. 233 00:11:24,344 --> 00:11:26,746 And all I wanted was a romantic kiss picture 234 00:11:26,871 --> 00:11:28,492 in front of the Eiffel Tower, 235 00:11:28,617 --> 00:11:30,437 which I actually did get. 236 00:11:31,422 --> 00:11:34,070 It just happened to be between Karen and Francois, 237 00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:36,074 our waiter from the day before. 238 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:38,699 Wow, that's just awful. 239 00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:39,602 Just... 240 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,731 Oopsies! I dropped my phone. 241 00:11:41,856 --> 00:11:43,594 - You picking it up for me? - Sure. 242 00:11:43,719 --> 00:11:45,161 Smile, you son of a bitch! 243 00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:46,290 Got it! 244 00:11:47,638 --> 00:11:48,748 Did you, though? 245 00:11:51,924 --> 00:11:54,629 Wait. How do you do that? You weren't even standing up! 246 00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:56,260 The camera loves me, Robin. 247 00:11:56,385 --> 00:11:58,499 More than loves me. The camera lusts after me. 248 00:11:58,624 --> 00:12:00,897 The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, 249 00:12:01,022 --> 00:12:02,468 pop in an Al Green CD, 250 00:12:02,593 --> 00:12:04,639 dim the lights and do all the work while I lie 251 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:06,343 there with my eyes closed. 252 00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:08,601 I'm sorry about Paris and 253 00:12:08,837 --> 00:12:10,308 all the ruined group shots, 254 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:11,808 but when you're single, 255 00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:14,542 you got to hope that each next new girl is the one. 256 00:12:15,116 --> 00:12:17,616 - Erin. Irene. And Sarah. - Emily. Or Isabel. 257 00:12:17,741 --> 00:12:19,932 It's Leilani. What is wrong with you? 258 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:23,382 At the time, yes, I thought each of these girls could be the one, 259 00:12:23,507 --> 00:12:25,827 but I got to stay hopeful. What's the alternative? 260 00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:27,706 Here's the alternative. How about 261 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,664 no more random skanks at my birthday! 262 00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:32,375 Hey, sweetie! 263 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,627 Do you guys have a cooling rack? 264 00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:37,964 Drawer under the oven. Can't wait. You're just the best! 265 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,427 Ted, I'm sorry. I gonna have to agree with Lily on this. 266 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,886 These kind of events 267 00:12:44,122 --> 00:12:47,015 are hard for a new person. That's why I didn't bring Don tonight. 268 00:12:47,765 --> 00:12:48,975 When I lived in Japan, 269 00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:52,516 this guy, for our third date, brought me to his brother's wedding. 270 00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:55,785 Now, I a total stranger, 271 00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:58,985 am in that Japanese couple's wedding picture for all eternity. 272 00:13:04,547 --> 00:13:06,993 Yeah, Ted, I think you should listen to Robin. 273 00:13:07,229 --> 00:13:09,787 Right, right, 'cause... 'cause Robin's your best friend. 274 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,107 - Exactly. - Your best friend in the whole world. 275 00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:14,898 - Absolutely. - Careful, Lily. It's a trap. 276 00:13:15,023 --> 00:13:17,170 And before she was your best friend, what was she? 277 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:18,847 Oh, that's right. 278 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,923 One of my random skanks. 279 00:13:22,023 --> 00:13:23,183 Yes, Ted. 280 00:13:23,308 --> 00:13:24,800 This particular skank... 281 00:13:25,316 --> 00:13:28,140 ... happened to work out, but she's the skanky exception, 282 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,933 - not the skanky rule. - I'm crying a little bit. 283 00:13:31,169 --> 00:13:34,398 Hey, guys, that about wraps up this whole skank conversation. 284 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:37,357 Let's get back to the birthday song! 285 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,943 Barney, your part goes like this. 286 00:13:42,044 --> 00:13:43,626 She's cute. 287 00:13:44,763 --> 00:13:46,333 She's cute. 288 00:13:47,446 --> 00:13:48,946 She's cute. 289 00:13:51,606 --> 00:13:53,620 I bring girls to these events because 290 00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,750 you guys are important to me. You're my family. 291 00:13:58,108 --> 00:13:59,643 Your part goes like this. 292 00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:01,952 And nice. 293 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,967 And nice. 294 00:14:04,092 --> 00:14:07,178 And also nice! 295 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,071 Yes. We're a family. 296 00:14:10,196 --> 00:14:13,210 So why can't these events ever just be us? 297 00:14:13,672 --> 00:14:17,058 Like the time we celebrated Marshall passing the bar exam. 298 00:14:17,183 --> 00:14:18,231 Hey, guys. 299 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,983 This is the disgusting, smelly hippie I'm dating. 300 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,861 I did not say that! 301 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,472 You might as well have. 302 00:14:25,825 --> 00:14:26,709 Hey, guys. 303 00:14:26,877 --> 00:14:28,116 This is Strawberry. 304 00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:31,446 Should we order more food? 305 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,411 No, Strawberry's not eating. 306 00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:35,332 I'm a vegetarian. 307 00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:40,118 Let's all raise a glass. 308 00:14:41,654 --> 00:14:43,400 For the last three years, 309 00:14:43,525 --> 00:14:45,486 Marshall has been working so hard, 310 00:14:45,611 --> 00:14:46,959 and I am so proud of you. 311 00:14:47,138 --> 00:14:48,460 Meat is murder! 312 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:53,822 I admit it. 313 00:14:53,947 --> 00:14:56,843 Strawberry was a mistake. How could I have known that going in? 314 00:14:57,118 --> 00:14:59,403 Her name was Strawberry. 315 00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:03,177 If it's a big deal, Amanda doesn't have to be in the photo. 316 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:06,269 But I promise she's not gonna ruin your birthday. Just give her a chance. 317 00:15:06,449 --> 00:15:08,599 See, look, guys. We're all friends again! 318 00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:10,550 Now let's work on those harmonies. 319 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,193 Happy happy Lily day! 320 00:15:13,641 --> 00:15:16,160 Happy happy Lily day... 321 00:15:16,285 --> 00:15:17,450 All done. 322 00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,450 I hope you like it. 323 00:15:24,602 --> 00:15:26,864 "Happy 42nd birthday, 324 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,094 " Lori." 325 00:15:30,321 --> 00:15:33,696 Kids, you know how I've told you about Lily's "you're dead to me" look. 326 00:15:33,821 --> 00:15:37,165 That expression she gets just before she explodes in white-hot rage? 327 00:15:37,481 --> 00:15:38,231 Well, 328 00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:39,720 this wasn't it. 329 00:15:44,997 --> 00:15:46,555 But this was Marshall's. 330 00:15:47,282 --> 00:15:48,243 "42nd"? 331 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,022 Does this 332 00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:52,485 hot piece of ass look 42 to you? 333 00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:53,348 Or! 334 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:54,485 Or 335 00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:57,157 does she look like her name is Lori? 336 00:15:57,282 --> 00:16:00,032 - No, Marshall, it's okay. - No, Lily, it's not okay. Ted, 337 00:16:00,211 --> 00:16:02,055 get this stranger out of my house! 338 00:16:02,301 --> 00:16:03,785 I am so sorry. 339 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:04,704 Out! 340 00:16:19,943 --> 00:16:22,304 Happy, happy Lily day. 341 00:16:22,483 --> 00:16:24,556 Happy, happy Lily day 342 00:16:30,451 --> 00:16:31,239 Well... 343 00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:34,476 Amanda refused to come back. She thinks you guys hate her. 344 00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:36,252 Marshall, you have to go apologize. 345 00:16:36,937 --> 00:16:39,023 You ruin Lily's birthday 346 00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:40,730 and you want me to apologize? 347 00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:43,259 If anything, you should apologize to me. 348 00:16:43,427 --> 00:16:44,835 What are you talking about? 349 00:16:45,011 --> 00:16:47,312 Ted, you bring girls to these intimate events 350 00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:49,491 it makes them think that things are serious. 351 00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:52,051 And then when you break up with them, you know who they turn to? 352 00:16:52,853 --> 00:16:55,729 Me. I've been your girlfriend cleanup crew for years. 353 00:16:56,263 --> 00:16:57,740 February, 2005. 354 00:16:58,044 --> 00:17:01,396 I had just come back from a marathon study session at the law library. 355 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,230 Hey, Natalie, where's, where's Ted? 356 00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:05,743 We broke up... 357 00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:07,770 again! 358 00:17:10,852 --> 00:17:13,091 Won't you sit with me for a little while? 359 00:17:14,249 --> 00:17:15,146 Just sit? 360 00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:18,077 Man, you know what? I've been up for, like, 36 hours. 361 00:17:21,838 --> 00:17:23,082 Just for a few minutes. 362 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:32,159 And at first, I was completely sympathetic. 363 00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:35,460 But damn it, Ted, over the years, you made me cynical. 364 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,356 You know what? I'm going to go get us some Rocky Road, 365 00:17:38,481 --> 00:17:41,418 and we're just going to sit here and talk it out until it makes sense. 366 00:17:42,004 --> 00:17:44,594 I just thought we had something so special, 367 00:17:44,719 --> 00:17:45,742 you know? 368 00:17:46,656 --> 00:17:48,027 Me, too. Yeah. 369 00:17:48,262 --> 00:17:51,074 But, you know, life goes on, sweetheart. 370 00:17:51,906 --> 00:17:54,987 I don't know how I'm going to put my life back together after this. 371 00:17:55,112 --> 00:17:56,733 Oh, shut up. 372 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:01,737 I'm sorry my search for true love has been such an inconvenience 373 00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:03,436 to you guys. You know what? 374 00:18:03,561 --> 00:18:06,876 Maybe your precious pictures would look a lot better if I wasn't in them. 375 00:18:07,093 --> 00:18:09,420 Look better if Marshall weren't in them. Cheap shot. 376 00:18:09,999 --> 00:18:10,838 Cheap shot. 377 00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:14,027 You know what these pictures are, Lily? They're a big, fat lie. 378 00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:15,115 They're posed. 379 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,970 They're touched up. They're what you want our life to be, not what it is. 380 00:18:18,188 --> 00:18:19,958 - That's not true! - Oh, yeah? 381 00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:23,142 Look at this one. Halloween, two years ago. 382 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,103 You got in a fight 'cause you didn't want to dress up as penguins. 383 00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:29,438 It's not just that she didn't want to. It's that she called penguins "lame." 384 00:18:29,696 --> 00:18:30,692 Penguins. 385 00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:33,605 And yet, here you are, smiling like nothing's wrong, 386 00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:35,196 completely phony. 387 00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:38,764 Robin's birthday, three years ago. 388 00:18:38,889 --> 00:18:41,994 Robin had a cold and you made her change out of her pajama's for the picture. 389 00:18:42,212 --> 00:18:44,830 And then you pinched my cheeks to get some color in them. 390 00:18:45,048 --> 00:18:46,685 Yeah, but you look pretty. 391 00:18:47,764 --> 00:18:50,211 And then, we all ate chocolate cake in my bed. 392 00:18:51,284 --> 00:18:53,964 - Actually, that was a nice night. - Yeah, it was. 393 00:18:54,182 --> 00:18:55,632 Yeah, I guess it was. 394 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,987 Hey, look at this one. 395 00:18:58,902 --> 00:19:01,806 This is the first picture the three of us ever took together. 396 00:19:02,023 --> 00:19:03,315 That's right. It was. 397 00:19:03,822 --> 00:19:05,692 Yeah, you remember how it happened? 398 00:19:06,154 --> 00:19:07,431 Okay, ready? 399 00:19:07,716 --> 00:19:08,437 Wait. 400 00:19:08,655 --> 00:19:10,783 What pose should we do? Buddy cop picture? 401 00:19:13,173 --> 00:19:14,827 What about, '80s sitcom 402 00:19:14,995 --> 00:19:17,275 about two roommates who never agree on anything? 403 00:19:17,737 --> 00:19:18,447 Nice. 404 00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:20,685 Okay, one, two... 405 00:19:23,099 --> 00:19:25,079 Hi, Marshall. Ready for the movie? 406 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:28,326 Yeah. Just a second though, okay? We're about to make history. 407 00:19:28,451 --> 00:19:30,963 We're about to take our first ever roommate picture. 408 00:19:31,385 --> 00:19:33,170 Why don't you get in the picture, too? 409 00:19:33,576 --> 00:19:34,296 Really? 410 00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:36,402 What you doing, Ted? 411 00:19:36,527 --> 00:19:38,676 - What if we break up? - What if you don't? 412 00:19:40,663 --> 00:19:41,429 Come on. 413 00:19:45,991 --> 00:19:47,596 I forgot all about that. 414 00:19:48,112 --> 00:19:50,455 Marshall and I had just been dating a few weeks 415 00:19:51,487 --> 00:19:53,725 and you invited me into the picture. 416 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,104 I liked you. 417 00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:58,535 - We have to get Amanda back. - Really? 418 00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:00,055 Ted, you believed in me. 419 00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:01,965 It's my turn to believe in you. 420 00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:04,238 For all I know, she's the one. 421 00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:05,870 Thanks, Lil. 422 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,984 I think Lori's age has made her very wise. 423 00:20:09,547 --> 00:20:12,465 They say your forties are when you really get to know yourself. 424 00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,963 So, your Aunt Lily called Amanda. 425 00:20:16,222 --> 00:20:17,965 All right, people, gather around. 426 00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:19,448 Let's make a memory. 427 00:20:20,127 --> 00:20:21,967 Okay, Marshall. Marshall, try this. 428 00:20:22,529 --> 00:20:24,486 Keep your eyes closed until the last second, 429 00:20:24,611 --> 00:20:26,348 and when I say so, open them. 430 00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:29,854 - Barney, it's a hole in your jacket? - What? Where? 431 00:20:30,779 --> 00:20:31,870 Now, Marshall! 432 00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:34,049 Damn it! 433 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,118 Name that bitch. 434 00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:42,881 Birth... a? 435 00:20:43,006 --> 00:20:43,954 Bertha? 436 00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:46,034 No, it was my birthday. 437 00:20:46,664 --> 00:20:49,168 Your brain makes associations in a very obvious way. 438 00:20:49,694 --> 00:20:50,711 All right, people. 439 00:20:51,052 --> 00:20:52,892 Gather around. Let's make a memory. 440 00:20:54,907 --> 00:20:56,314 What's in this dip you made? 441 00:20:56,439 --> 00:20:57,966 'Cause it tastes like... 442 00:20:58,388 --> 00:20:59,325 cilantro. 443 00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:00,204 And 444 00:21:00,685 --> 00:21:02,982 you know that cilantro makes me... 445 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:05,490 Yes! 32865

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