All language subtitles for Everybody Hates Chris s01e12 Everybody Hates a Part-time Job.eng

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When you first become a teenager,

you think it's cool
to just be a teenager.

Then you find out
no matter how cool you act,

if you don't look cool,

you might as well be five years old.

And the coolest thing you could have
when I was 13

was a leather jacket.

He might not have a daddy,

but he's got a leather jacket.

Keisha,
you got a leather jacket, too?

My mom just got it off
layaway for me.

I was thinking about getting one.

You are?
Why?

Look at me.
I'm skinny and I'm short.

I'm not going to
become cool overnight.

You don't look that bad, though.

Yeah,
but I need something.

You think a leather jacket
would help?

I guess.

All I was thinking is that

the right leather jacket
would have turned me from this guy...

into this guy.

Chris.
That leather jacket is cool.

Let's hang out.

As soon as I'm finished posing.

I knew where to get
a leather jacket.

Now all I needed was money.

Transcript: Raceman - Trad: Birdyben
Synchro/Relecture: Sixe

A leather jacket?

What do you need
a leather jacket for?

Keisha said it was cool.

You think a leather jacket's
going to make you cool?

It made these guys gazillionaires.

It could.

The only thing is,
I don't have $50.

Just save up your allowance.

My what?

Allowance.
It's money.

That your parents
give you every week.

I'd heard about allowances,

but I didn't know
they actually existed.

I thought it was just something
that happened on TV.

Here you go, son.

A thousand dollars.

Thank you, father.

Since my father
was always working,

he always seemed
kind of grumpy.

It seemed like there was never
a good time to ask my father for money.

Daddy, can I have $15
to go on a field trip

to the the Statue of Liberty?

Okay.

And, Dad, can I have $5
to go to the show?

Okay.

Baby, can I get $25
to go shopping?

Okay.

It looks like this might be
a good time after all.

Hey, Dad?

Can I get a leather jacket?

A leather jacket?

You got some leather-jacket money?

Well, what do you need
a leather jacket for?

What's wrong
with Drew's old coat?

Instead of Drew
wearing my old clothes,

I wore his old clothes.

I think I was the first kid
to get hand-me-ups.

It's too small,

it's out of style,

and it's just not cool.

It ain't supposed to be cool.

It's supposed to be warm.

Being warm is cool.

I'm not asking you to buy it.

I'll save up.

Save up what?

I was hoping
you can give me an allowance.

I know it sounded like
an innocent enough question,

but here's what he heard.

Since you work
like a slave all day

and don't have any time
to enjoy your own money,

can I have it?

I'm not giving you money
for walking around doing nothing.

An allowance?

I'll allow you
to sleep here at night.

I'll allow you
to eat them potatoes.

I'll allow you
to use my lights.

I'll allow you
to drink my Kool-Aid.

I'll allow you
to nibble on them green beans.

I'll allow you
to look at that TV.

I'll allow you
to run up my gas bill.

I'll allow you
to walk up my stairs.

I'll allow you to ask me
these ridiculous-ass questions.

Why should I give you
an allowance

when I already paid
for everything you do?

Who you know
that gets an allowance?

Huh?

I'm finished.

I was talking to Greg and

he said that he gets five dollars a week.

Sounds like Greg's
doing better than me.

Ask him for an allowance.

You want to buy a leather coat,

you need to get
a leather-coat job.

While things might have been tight
with my father,

my mother was getting loose.

She was always happy
when she had the house to herself.

She caught up on her reading.

She talked on the phone.

She ate expensive candy
she hid from us.

But there was one thing that
she never counted on to mess up her day.

Coming...

What are y'all doing here?

Something went wrong
at our school.

Something about the paint.

Before vending machines
were put into schools,

hungry kids often snacked
on lead paint chips.

Mmm.

This is good!

If we had ladders,
he'd have ate the asbestos.

I want one!
Me, too! Me, too!

Me, too!
Come on, me too!

So we can go back after they finish
repainting our classrooms.

All right, well,
y'all stay out of my way,

cause I'm cleaning up.

What are we going to do all day?

I don't know.

Go play.

But you all better not
mess up my house till after 4:30!

I mean, asbestos kills,

a little paint ain't gonna hurt.

After a day out of school,

my mother wasn't having any fun.

And neither were Tonya and Drew.

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

When broke kids get bored,

they play one of
the cheapest games ever invented:

"I Dare You."

I dare you to put
these ice cubes under your armpit.

For how long?

One minute.

Okay.

Whoo!

One...

two...

Count it normal,
Tonya...

three...

Girl, what is wrong with you?

I dared him to put
ice cubes under his arms.

Take the ice cubes
from under your arm.

Not...
in the glass.

Boy, people got to drink from that.

Okay,
I dare you to drink it.

You better not.
That's nasty.

I'm not.

You know what?
Since you all want to dare so bad,

why don't y'all dare each other

to sit down and act like
y'all got some sense?

How about that?

Boy, I'll be glad when
y'all go back to school.

You are driving me up the wall.

Two walls.

Now you have to do something.

That's nasty.

Meanwhile, I felt like the only guy
on earth without a leather jacket.

You got a leather jacket?

Cool, huh?

My dad got it for me
at the army surplus store.

Hey, weren't you the one who said
that leather didn't make you cool?

Yeah,
but I was wrong.

So, what did your dad say
about an allowance?

He said no...
for about two hours.

Hi, Greg.

Nice jacket.

Wait.
She's talking to you?

Cool, huh?

I got to get me a leather jacket.

Finding a job when you're 13
is not the easiest thing to do.

I applied for easy jobs...

Now why would I pay you
to put groceries in a bag

when I can put them in a bag
my damn self?

I applied for hard jobs...

Security guard, huh?

You ever been shot?

I even applied for jobs
I didn't know I was applying for.

You any good with matches?

There's a new barber
down the block.

He needs to be taught a lesson.

I dare you to slide down
the stairs on your back.

Give me the towel.

The only place more dangerous
than the streets of Brooklyn

were the hallways of Brooklyn.

After running out of options,

I could only think of one person
that could help me find work.

Hey.

Dad,
can you help me get a job?

- What?
- I want to get a leather jacket.

And I've been trying to get a job,
but it's not working out so far.

You want it that bad, huh?

Yeah.

Want to come and work with me?

- For real?
- Yeah. Tomorrow's Saturday.

You can come do deliveries with me.

I'll be back in a few hours.

Now be downstairs at 3:30.

Not 3:31.

Don't worry.
I'll be down early.

No such thing as early.

You're either on time
or you're late.

I was committed
to getting that jacket.

Nothing was going to stop me.

Nothing except a nap.

I thought my father would be
really mad that I missed work.

Instead of getting a leather jacket,

I thought I was going to get a leather belt.

- What happened to you this morning?
- I overslept.

How come
you didn't come get me?

You the one want the job.

Job ain't gonna wait for you.

In the game of Dare,
there are no rules,

there are no regulations

and the game doesn't end
till somebody's dead.

I dare you.

What you going to give me?

Two dollars.

Drink it.
Hurry up.

Hurry up, Tonya.

More.
Drink it.

Cool.

How was it?

Give me my two dollars.

The next morning, I was up earlier
than a Marine with a paper route.

Coffee?

Working with my father
was mind-blowing.

I couldn't believe
how big it was,

how loud it was.

How fast everything was going.

I felt like an Amish kid in Vegas.

What's up, George?

Hey, Herc.

- What's up?
- All right.

Who's this?

That's my son,
Chris.

Who's Herc?

Herc like Hercules.

That's a strong man.

The only other names
I knew my father by

were the words my mother
called him,

and they didn't have nothing
to do with being strong.

So, little Herc.

You funny like your old man?

My father's funny?

Ah, he ain't that funny.

Funnier than you two corny...

Oh!

My father never cursed at home,

so hearing him curse at the job made me
feel like I was in a secret club.

Get to work before I bring your mama back in here.

Yeah, okay, whatever you say.

See you, Little Herc.

You don't want me to tell your mama
to come back here, too, man.

Hey, let's get to work.

I haven't heard cursing like that since
my father stepped on my mother's bunion.

At home,
the Dare game was over,

but the trouble was just starting.

What's wrong, baby?

I heard you moaning
all the way from my room.

My stomach hurts really bad.

Let me feel.

Oh, no.
You're burning up.

Let me feel your tummy.

Okay, baby, I'm gonna take you
to the emergency room.

Wait here.
I'm gonna get your coat.

Drew, get up!

Going to the doctor
was serious business,

because usually,
if something was wrong with one of us,

my parents thought
they could fix it with Robitussin.

Ow!

I burned my finger!

Let me see, boy,
let me see.

Take some Robitussin.

Looks like a tooth broke off.

Yeah.
I'll go get the Robitussin.

What?

Mama,
Chris just got hit by a car.

Oh, my God,
I'll go get the Robitussin.

I'm not telling her.

You're the one who drank it.

You dared me!

Shh.
Be quiet.

Okay, come on.
Let's go.

It was cold outside.

I was tired,
and those papers were heavy.

I was starting to wonder
if that leather jacket was worth it.

Hey, Chris.

What time you getting off?

Never.

I got to pay off this jacket.

Okay,
that's it.

Good.
Now can we have a break?

We won't get a break
for another three hours.

Come on.

If you watch TV,
you know that an emergency room

is one of the most exciting
places you can be.

Wrong.

Yeah, Charlie and Karen.
They broke up.

- What about Charlie?
- Well, he went back to New York.

Excuse me, nurse.
My baby's stomach is killing her.

The thing about people
who work in emergency rooms

is they're not the ones
with the emergency-- you are.

Really? But did you see Tracy
last week with her new man?

Do you see me standing here
with a sick child?

Do you see me here
talking to somebody?

Quit hollerin' at people!

You know, I don't need this.
My man has three jobs!

Being at work with my father

was one of the coolest things
I ever did.

We broke laws...

Hey, hey,
we can make it!

Hold on, man.
Here we go.

Let's go!
Let's go!

Whoo!

Yeah!

Curse people out.

Hurry up!
Let's go!

Get out of the way!

Kiss my ass!
That's right!

That's right!

That was one of the most
exciting nights of my life.

We delivered papers
in Brooklyn.

We delivered papers
in Queens,

Little Italy,
Chinatown,

Spanish Harlem,

Puerto Rican Harlem,
the Bronx,

Greenwich Village.

We delivered papers to people
I didn't even know could read.

And after delivering more than
15 tons worth of newspapers,

all I could think was
"Where the hell is the sun?"

Um, number 36,
the doctor will see you now.

Oh, no, no, no!

Come on!
This is ridiculous!

Who's going to help my baby?

That man's been shot.

Well, just because she's not shot
doesn't mean she isn't hurt.

If this wasn't an emergency,

we wouldn't have to come
to the emergency room.

Look,
if she doesn't get to see a doctor,

we're going to have
to get you a doctor.

Yeah, now.

I'm sorry it took you
so long to get in.

It's about time somebody threatened
to kick that nurse's ass.

Mm, I think we have
to run some tests.

What kind of tests?

Well, first we need to
draw some blood, little lady.

I'll be right back.

Mama, I don't want...!

Baby, you have to take the test
in order for youto feel better.

Mom, uh...

I have to tell you something.

What?

I dared Tonya
to drink a hot sauce shake.

A hot sauce shake?

Girl, what in the world
would you do that for?

He dared me!

Doctor, I don't think
that'll be necessary.

My son dared her
to drink a hot sauce shake.

A hot sauce shake?

Yeah, you know, vinegar,
hot sauce, syrup and milk.

I didn't know
it'd make her that sick.

I know what to do.

Here.

- What is this?
- Ipecac.

This is to induce vomiting.

When she's done,
she may have a slight cough.

Give her some Robitussin.

She'll be fine.

Ain't no fussin' with the 'Tussin.

Ow!

Julius,

you got to take that truck back
over to DeKalb.

- I'll do it tomorrow.
- No, I need it done now.

You can't find somebody else?

Why should I find somebody else?
I found you.

I want that truck
back over to DeKalb now.

The only person I ever saw tell
my father what to do was my mother.

Dad, you just going to let him
tell you what to do?

Either that or
I won't have nothing to do.

Come on.

Ow.

That hurt.

You worked hard.

Yeah.

Feels kind of good,
though, don't it?

Yeah.

After everything
I'd been through,

I understood my father
a lot more.

Because when
you work that hard,

you think about
every dime you spend.

And I was thinking about how
I was going to spend mine.

$25?

That's right.

You earned every penny.

Don't forget
to ice down your arms.

But I need $50 for the jacket.

No, you don't.
You want $50.

There's a difference.

When I asked you for the jacket,
you said I should get a job.

And I got a job.

Job didn't pay enough.

You got $25.

I didn't make my first $25 till
I was 30 years old.

And I still got two of 'em.

Look, you want the jacket,
save your money.

You can work with me again
next week.

Okay.

- Bye, Mommy.
- See ya.

Have a good day at school.

A few days later,
Drew and Tonya were back in school

and my mother could go
back to her routine.

I never seen a woman
so happy to clean.

Meanwhile, I was still wishing that
my job had worked out a little better.

After all I'd gone through
with my father,

I appreciated him that much more.

Hi, man.

- How do you like my jacket?
- You got that one?

I got the last one on sale.

But I didn't go out
in the middle of the night

and do all that work for nothing.

Aren't you hot in that thing?

Please.
I'm fine.

Chris?!

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