All language subtitles for Empty Nest s02e14 Complainin in the Rain.eng

Heavy rains and thunderstorms

are forecast for the Miami area
throughout the day.

It's gonna be
a wet Saturday, folks,

so be sure
to wear your raincoats,

and don't forget those umbrel...

all right, come on,
dreyfuss, let's go.

Go, out.

Dreyf, come on.
Look, I know it's raining

but you've got to go out
sometime.

Rainwater you're afraid of,

toilet bowl water you'll drink.

Hey, Harry, you got a tall
ladder and a hammer I can use?

- What for, Charley?
- I got a leak.

I need to get up on your roof

and borrow
some of your shingles.

Charley, you cannot
borrow my shingles.

Come on, you got plenty,

your whole roof
is covered with them.

Forget the shingles, all right?

Come on, pots, go.
You can have some pots.

Good idea.

You know, you got such
good insight into these things.

I guess that's why
you're the doctor and I'm not.

Okay, we'll see you later.

I gotta figure out how to
nail these to my roof.

- Morning, daddy.
- Hi, sweetheart.

So what do you
got planned for today?

I was gonna play softball,
but the game's all rained out.

Yeah, I know. Sorry.

Well, that's okay,
I'll find something else to do.

Anyway, I love the rain.

It makes everything all wet,
and shiny, and all brand-new.

Damn rain!

I hate the rain.

I had plans to go on
a picnic today with a man

who I've waited for
three months to ask me out.

He just called and canceled.

Now we'll never go out.

We'll never have children.

I'll grow old, alone in my room,

waiting with great anticipation

for meals on wheels to arrive.

What are you doing today, daddy?

Oh, I don't know, dear.

I have a whole lot
of work to catch up on

at the office with Laverne.

And what are you gonna do?

I'm going
to make soup, go to bed,

and watch depressing movies.

Yee-ha.

Barbara, it's raining,
my plans are ruined,

obviously the day is shot.

Carol, there is a whole world

of things to do out there
if you just give it a chance.

You could have
a really good time.

Who knows, you might
a even meet a guy.

Daddy, would you tell
the human happy face over here

that life doesn't work that way?

Well, honey,
wait, let's just think

about this for a second.
Now your sister does have

a very open, optimistic
approach to life.

Wouldn't hurt if a little bit
of that rubbed off on you.

Oh, daddy,
don't waste your breath.

Carol could never be like me.

Excuse me! It is not
too difficult to be like you.

All one has to do is suspend
all cognitive functions.

What does that mean?

It means to not think
and just be.

Yeah, you could never do that.

I certainly could.

Okay, Carol,
then I tell you what,

you spend the day
with me today, my way.

And I'll bet you
have a better time for it...

If you're not chicken.
Oh, Barbara!

If you think I'm going to
buy into a childish dare like...

it's the...

I accept your challenge.

Good, I'll get my coat.

Honey, that's great!
I'm proud of you.

Daddy, it's easy.

I mean, I can be open,
I can be optimistic.

I don't think it'll work,
but I can be that way.

Oh! Good morning, Laverne.

Sorry I'm late, dear.
The rain slowed me down.

I was hit by lightning
and still got here on time.

- Yeah, yeah, Laverne.
- Now here are the old files.

Now let's get started
cleanin' 'em out.

What is this?

A nurse's cap.

Give it to me,
I'll throw it out.

Wait a minute!
Do you know what this is?

This is the cap
I gave you to wear

the day I hired you
six years ago.

Well, better late than never.

Why don't you put it on?

Because it's bad luck
to wear a hat indoors.

Laverne, you don't really
believe that silly superstition.

I don't think it's so silly.

I had a cousin
who wore a hat indoors

and he got gored by a bull.

That's another thing
to watch out for,

never let a bull in your house

when you're wearing
one of them little red hats.

I guess waving that cape around
didn't help none, either.

I did get the ear, though.

Unfortunately, it was cousin
Guillermo's, wanna see it?

No. Laverne, the point is,

on the day I hired you,
you agreed to wear a cap.

- I did not.
- You most absolutely did.

I'll tell you
exactly what happened.

Don't tell me, I know
how you recollect things.

Laverne, I remember that
day six years ago

as clear as a bell.

There you go.

Nurse McConnell, send in
the next applicant, please.

Uh, if this is not a good time
I could come back.

No, no, no, no.
Please, come right in.

Come in.

- Dr. Harry Weston.
- Laverne.

Laverne... Todd.

I-I-i beg your pardon,

it's just I'm kinda nervous.
It's not often I get

to meet a physician
of such stature and reputation.

Well, there's absolutely
nothing to be nervous about.

Come, come on a second.
Sit down.

You relax. Okay.

Now... Mrs. Todd...

Excuse me, dear, you
have something in your hair.

- What is that?
- Oh, a hayseed.

Thank you, doctor.
Yeah, that's all right.

Now Mrs. Todd...

I have allotted five minutes
for your interview.

You should know that
I always keep on schedule

and I run a
very, very efficient office.

It's a pity, but the truth
is that most nurses

cannot keep up with me.

Oh, it's a wonder
you need a nurse at all.

Excuse me for
just a moment, please.

Hello?

Stop crying, Carol.

No, dear, you're not
always gonna be unhappy.

You do not have fat ankles.

Let's talk about this when
I get home, okay?

I love you too, dear. Bye-bye.

Um, would you care
to see my resume?

Yes. That would be just fine.

- Uh, Mrs. Todd.
- Yes, doctor?

To be frank,
you fall quite a bit short

in the experience department.

I'm afraid you're
just not what I'm looking for.

Oh, doctor, I know I'm
fresh out of hickory, Arkansas,

and in some areas of nursing,

I don't know my taters
from my grits...

But if you'll
grace me with this opportunity,

I promise,
what I lack in experience,

I'll make up for with
hard work, and dedication,

and the perkiest upbeat attitude

this side of the mississipp.

Mrs. Todd, may I ask
you one question?

Consider my life an open book.

Can you start on Monday?

Oh, thank you, doctor.

Thank you, big fella.

Oh, now, now, now,
just one thing...

I do run
a fairly informal office,

but I also do like
very much for my nurses

to wear a uniform and a cap.

You have no problem
with a cap, do you, Mrs. Todd?

A cap? Absolutely not.

I'd love to wear a cap.

Whatever you say,
you are the boss.

Very good.

"I'd love to wear a cap,
you are the boss."

Those were
your exact words, Laverne.

That is
the most bull come my way

since cousin Guillermo's
little mishap.

You see what happens, Barbara,

when you go out
driving in the rain

with no destination in mind?
Things get wet.

Cars break down. Frizz.

Carol, lighten up.

So the car broke down? Big deal.

It's not the end of the world.

In fact, it makes the day
more of an adventure.

Hi, there. Can I help you?

Yes, our car broke down.

I think it's a short
in the electrical system,

my sister seems to think

it's the little man in
the engine that goes...

Well, I hope
your sister's right.

We just got those
little men in stock.

Ha-ha-ha, how long is
this going to take, please?

I'll get to it as fast as I can.

I got a couple
other cars in front of you.

You see, something good
is happening already.

- What?
- I think he likes you.

Oh, right, I can see it now.

Mrs. Carol goodwrench.

You're missing out
on a big opportunity.

Barbara, please. Now come on,

let's call a cab and go home.

No! Now you said you
were gonna try things my way.

And we just started having fun.

Fine, we'll call a cab,

and maybe he'll skid
on the way there.

Let's just get out of here.

Oh, great, I don't
have any change.

Barbara, don't touch that floor!

It's greasy and dirty, and
I'm sure there's hair on it!

Look what I found! A quarter.

Yes, now you have a quarter.

And along with it, cholera.

Well, this is really neat...

You didn't have any change,
I found this quarter,

and now we get
a free phone call.

I'm wrong,
life is a horn of plenty.

Yeah, it's a huge party,
everybody's gonna be there.

No, 12 Vivian Avenue.

Sure, sure, sure.

Bring him along,
they won't mind, no problem.

Okay, see you
in about 20 minutes.

Carol, did you hear that?
A party.

- So?
- So I think

we should catch a cab and go.

Are you crazy?

Why not? He says
everybody's gonna be there,

it sounds like
an open kind of thing.

Barbara, you just
don't go to a stranger's house.

They could kill us.

If it looks like they're
gonna kill us, we'll leave.

Wow, what a great party.

It is. It's very nice.

It's more than
I could've hoped for.

Now let's get
the hell out of here.

What are you talking about?

Barbara, this is obviously

a very important
political function.

This isn't the kind of party

you can just walk into,
uninvited.

My god, look at me.
I'm wearing jeans.

You're too self-conscious.

Nobody cares about
what you look like but you.

Hey, isn't that
Ted Kennedy over there?

I think so.

I'm gonna go talk to him.

Barbara,
you cannot just walk over

and talk to Ted Kennedy.

Hey, Ted!

Well, I don't believe
I've seen you

at one of
these fundraisers before.

Well, I can explain.

Anyway,
I was just about to leave.

Oh, no, please don't.

We've lost too many
attractive young women

to the Republicans already.

Well, I suppose I could
stay a little while longer.

Go WASSERMAN.

- I'm Evan Phillips.
- Carol Weston.

It's a pleasure.
Ah, caviar, Carol?

Only if there's champagne
to wash it down with, Evan.

Done. So tell me, Carol...

What do you think of WASSERMAN?

Well, I have
read up on his background,

and I am particularly impressed

with his emphasis on education.

Mm, I couldn't agree
with you more.

Although that's probably a bias.

I work at the university,
in the rare books department.

Really? Well,
you know, a good friend of mine

is with the library of congress.

The library of congress!
My god, that a dream of mine!

Oh, I hope I don't
have to meet him today,

I'm really not dressed for it.

What do you mean? You look fine.

Trust me, if my sister and I
had not just walked in here,

I would never be wearing jeans.

- Oh.
- Our little secret.

I wouldn't want
the host finding out.

I am the host.

Yeah, that's right, a quarter.

And just when we needed it.

Did you, eh, hear that, eunice?

A whole quarter.

Boy, I gotta
hand it to you, Barbara,

it's your adventuresome spirit

that helped
make this country great.

There she is.
There's the ringleader.

Uh, wait a minute, sir.

I need my purse to call a cab.
Barbara, where's my purse?

I don't have your purse.

Yes you do, yes you do,
yes you do!

I gave it to you
in the cab on the way over.

- Oops.
- Okay, girls, let's go.

Happy, Barbara?

Hey, there's
al Gore and his wife!

Hey, tipper!

Oh, I'm soaked!

Hey, the celtics won
in double overtime last night!

- Don't you ever stop?
- What do you mean?

Look at what's happened
to us today.

My car breaks down...

Obviously Mr. lugnut has
no idea what's wrong with it.

We get thrown out of a party,

and my purse is gone...

With all my money, and I.D.,
and credit cards.

This is so
typical of you, Carol,

to look at it this way.

You glossed right
over the important part

about me finding a quarter.

That's it.
This challenge is off.

I'm sorry I ever agreed
in the first place

to spend the day in
Barbara land.

You know, you think
there's a silver lining

behind every cloud.
Well, there isn't.

Especially that one up there.

It looks like
a Nazi headed right for us.

What, that cute little
bunny rabbit cloud?

Barbara, I have had it with you

and your
simplistic child-like optimism.

Life is depressing.

And fraught with danger.

And that is too a Nazi.

Fine, if that's the way
you feel about it, I'm leaving.

Barbara, it's raining,
you don't have any money,

where are you going?

That's the difference
between you and me, Carol.

I don't know.

Okay, Laverne,
who's file is next?

Arlene Phelps.
You remember Arlene Phelps?

Oh, yeah, she was
such a sweet little girl.

Hell, she's out in Hollywood
now, she's a big star.

Arlene Phelps?

She's apparently seen
another doctor since you.

You probably know her
as Richard gere.

That is not true.

True as your cockamamie
story about this cap.

Laverne, that
is exactly what happened.

Was not.

And as long as
you brought it up again,

I feel it incumbent upon me
to set the record straight.

I remember that day
just as clear as a bell.

Ah! Nurse McConnell!
Nurse McConnell!

Are you... Where are you?

Are you on your lunch hour?

Are you on vacation?

Uh... Oh, at least I'm
in the right office this time.

Oh, god.

- Excuse me.
- Oh!

My name is Laverne Todd,

I believe we had
a 12:00 sharp interview.

Ah, yes, well,
my watch is a little...

My watch, my watch...
I don't have a watch now!

How are you? I'm Harry...

- Weston. I'm a doctor.
- Yes.

I believe I forwarded my resume

along with 40 or 50
letters of recommendation.

Yes, I know. I have them.

I put them in
a very smart place, if you...

Oh, sorry, that's...
Okay, they're, um...

Yes, that's fine. Okay,

ah, here they are.
Here they are.

Fine. Okay.

Oh. Ooh-ooh, oh.

Dr. Benjamin Spock.

This is impressive.

You know, he's always been
an idol of mine.

Yes, he's a pioneer
in the field of pediatrics.

A true genius.

Your shoe's untied.

Oh, yeah, I always have trouble

making bows, you know?

Uh, excuse me, miss.

You got a little something
in your hair here.

- Oh, a thermometer.
- Yes.

I always like to be prepared.

I'm very impressed.

Excuse me just a moment, please.

Hello?

Stop crying, Carol.

No, honey, you're
not always gonna be unhappy.

You do not have fat ankles.

No, listen, baby, sweetheart,

let's talk about this
when I get home.

Okay?

I love you too, baby.
All right, bye.

Oh, yes,
your interview was, uh...

Mrs. Todd, I don't
really have to read any more.

If anything, you're highly
overqualified for this job.

And I know it's really
too much to even hope for

but would you
please, please be my nurse?

Please, please be my nurse?

I don't think
this is a good idea.

This is not what I had in mind.

And I'm afraid my...
oh, no, no, please!

No, no, no!
Don't, stay, don't, stay.

Look, I know I'm a little...

Scatterbrained
and a little disorganized.

But I am, I am a good doctor.

I am. And with you at my side,

I could be a great doctor.

Please help me be
a great doctor, Mrs. Todd.

Oh, all right.

Stop your yakkin',
I'll take the job.

Well, this is
the happiest day of my life!

Now I'll be starting
Monday morning at 8:00 sharp.

And I'll expect a nurse's
uniform waiting when I get here.

Yes, ma'am, would you like
a cap with that uniform?

Absolutely not,
I don't wear a cap indoors.

It's bad luck.
Oh, listen, whatever you say.

You're the boss. Thanks a lot.

Excuse me, i... this is my...
Yes, that's right.

You know.

And that's the way it happened.

Laverne, that is
the most outrageous pack

of exaggerations
I have ever heard.

Maybe we just better drop
this whole thing

for once and for all.

- I will if you will.
- Fine.

- Fine.
- Fine.

- Fine.
- I'm right.

Uh-huh.

Hi. Had to order
a new oil pump for your car.

It'll probably
take an hour or two,

so how about some lunch?

Two hours, great.

The perfect end
to a perfect day.

You're not this upset
about the car, are you?

Eh, it's a long story.

It all started when
these plans I had for a picnic

fell through
because of the rain.

Picnic? Oh, well, if that's all,

I think I can help you out.

See... a picnic
is nothing more than

a well-placed blanket,

a couple of sandwiches...

The smells of nature.

Say, something's missing here.

Oh!

Mood lighting.

You like it?

Yes. Yes, I do.

It's thoughtful,
it's lovely, it's...

I'm lactose intolerant,
you know.

I like this, we're starting
to get to know each other.

Tell me more about yourself.

Well, I'm afraid I have
very little interest in cars.

Oh, that's too bad.
My first love.

Followed closely
by skiing, Indian food,

and anything by Hemingway.

Hemingway? You like Hemingway?

Hey, cars aren't my life.
I have a lot of interests.

Well, I'm not surprised.
As I told my sister, Barbara,

"there is a renaissance man,
if I've ever seen one."

Listen, I'm sorry
you had such a bad day.

It isn't such a bad day.

You see, John,
I've learned in life

that one has to be optimistic.

Focus on the positive.

For example, some people
would look up there

and see a storm cloud.

I, on the other hand,
see a cute little bunny rabbit.

Mm.

That takes care
of Victor zarzo's file.

I'm guessing
that's the last one.

Yeah.

So what do you want me
to do with this hat?

Throw it out, or what?

Well, obviously
we have different memories

about this occasion,
Laverne. But,

- mine is right.
- Wrong.

- It's right.
- Wrong.

All right, there's Otto.

Otto was here
the day I hired you.

Let's ask him.
That's fine with me.

- Yo, Otto!
- Yo!

Otto...

Laverne and I
were just talking about

- the day I hired her.
- Oh, yeah.

Now that would've been,
let's see, six years ago.

That's right.

Yeah, you two
were in the office,

I was out here cleaning.

I remember that day,
clear as a bell.

Mm, I wonder if I should
switch off to the blue rag

or keep going with the red one.

Oh, Otto, Otto. Listen, Otto,

I'm-I'm a very busy man,
but I simply had to tell you

that your cleaning is
nothing less than magnificent.

So please always be our janitor.

Otto... Please?

Please, Otto.
Please, please, please.

And that's exactly how it went.

And despite many, many
other offers, Dr. Weston,

I am still your janitor.

And I thank you, Otto.

Well, I guess
we're never gonna know

whether I agreed
to wear this cap or not.

Well, there is one thing
we can agree on, Laverne.

What's that?

Cap or not,
it's been a terrific six years.

Well, I'll give you that.

Thank you.

See you on Monday!

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

Oh, nurse Todd,

there's something else
I remember about that day.

You did agree to wear that cap.

Now Otto,
I most certainly did not.

What do I do now?
She's giving me lip.

Nothing, Otto. Thanks anyway.

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