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1
00:00:01,850 --> 00:00:04,684
- Oh, man. What do you guys
know about this oedipus guy?
2
00:00:04,729 --> 00:00:07,522
- Never heard of him.
- Well, you're about to.
3
00:00:07,568 --> 00:00:08,525
- Wait, what?
4
00:00:08,653 --> 00:00:10,319
- How insane is that?
5
00:00:10,406 --> 00:00:12,114
- Oh, oedipus,
oedipus, oedipus.
6
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,741
- Don't spoil it.
7
00:00:13,828 --> 00:00:14,577
This is nothing.
8
00:00:14,663 --> 00:00:15,662
If I lost my eyesight,
9
00:00:15,706 --> 00:00:17,706
I'd bump
into my mother a lot too.
10
00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:19,751
Both:
You're reading it backwards.
11
00:00:19,796 --> 00:00:23,298
- Ah!
Oedipus, you naughty pioneer.
12
00:00:23,344 --> 00:00:24,635
- Hardly pioneering.
13
00:00:24,722 --> 00:00:26,513
This is the top half
of my family tree.
14
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,516
Stupendous?
Incest, murder?
15
00:00:28,603 --> 00:00:30,269
- Nah, I know the story.
16
00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:31,313
Sucks to be oedipus.
17
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,265
- Sucks to be oedipus' parents!
18
00:00:33,277 --> 00:00:34,443
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
19
00:00:34,529 --> 00:00:36,529
- You know what, guys?
I don't say this enough.
20
00:00:36,617 --> 00:00:38,825
We're
a relatively healthy family.
21
00:00:38,912 --> 00:00:39,911
All: Aww.
- I act like
22
00:00:39,955 --> 00:00:41,872
You guys are a burden,
and you are,
23
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:45,293
But I need to appreciate
my situation for what it is:
24
00:00:45,381 --> 00:00:47,048
Somewhat better than oedipus.
25
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,383
- Aww.
- How nice.
26
00:00:48,512 --> 00:00:50,803
- Every goat in the city
has been partially eaten,
27
00:00:50,848 --> 00:00:52,806
Leaving a trail of blood
to the palace gates,
28
00:00:52,894 --> 00:00:54,602
And the people are coming
with torches
29
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,688
To demand
your father be killed!
30
00:00:56,733 --> 00:00:58,650
- [sighs]
maybe I'd rather be oedipus.
31
00:00:58,737 --> 00:01:02,280
- [laughs]
not a chance, stud.
32
00:01:02,368 --> 00:01:05,160
[upbeat mythical music]
33
00:01:05,248 --> 00:01:12,169
? ?
34
00:01:27,243 --> 00:01:28,576
[crowd clamoring]
35
00:01:28,662 --> 00:01:31,037
- Dad, did you eat those goats?
- Of course not.
36
00:01:31,083 --> 00:01:33,709
I'd remember if I did.
Goats are amazing.
37
00:01:33,754 --> 00:01:35,796
They have those little handles
on their heads
38
00:01:35,841 --> 00:01:37,966
So you can just...
[chomping]
39
00:01:38,012 --> 00:01:40,596
- Next time someone asks,
shorten that to "no."
40
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:41,848
- You want me to beat 'em up?
41
00:01:41,892 --> 00:01:44,476
- Everyone?
In the entire city?
42
00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:45,479
- Is that a challenge?
43
00:01:45,566 --> 00:01:47,608
- If you beat everyone up,
44
00:01:47,652 --> 00:01:48,818
What am I the king of?
45
00:01:48,863 --> 00:01:51,280
- Quieter people?
- No.
46
00:01:51,367 --> 00:01:53,200
Angry mobs feed
on fear and violence.
47
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:56,371
A smart leader dispels it
with calmness and courage.
48
00:01:56,459 --> 00:01:57,583
- So you want me standing
49
00:01:57,669 --> 00:01:59,336
Right behind you
or right in front of you?
50
00:01:59,422 --> 00:02:01,297
- Is me on your shoulders
too much?
51
00:02:01,342 --> 00:02:04,176
Crowd: Angry mob! Angry mob!
52
00:02:04,221 --> 00:02:05,763
- Everybody, calm down!
53
00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:08,017
- We don't wanna calm down!
We're an angry mob!
54
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,936
- You won't be
if you calm down.
55
00:02:09,981 --> 00:02:12,315
- Well,
isn't that convenient logic?
56
00:02:12,361 --> 00:02:13,485
Crowd: Yeah!
57
00:02:13,529 --> 00:02:15,780
- My father
did not kill your goats.
58
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:17,115
Can you at least
put out the torches?
59
00:02:17,202 --> 00:02:18,534
They're silly.
It's daytime.
60
00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:21,580
- Look, if you're gonna be
this dismissive of our anger,
61
00:02:21,626 --> 00:02:24,418
Don't act shocked
by our decision to be a mob!
62
00:02:24,464 --> 00:02:25,713
[crowd clamoring]
63
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,132
- You guys,
I'm not dismissing you.
64
00:02:27,177 --> 00:02:29,761
Can we just talk?
- Nobody talked to my goats.
65
00:02:29,848 --> 00:02:31,765
Crowd: Yeah!
- Or maybe they did.
66
00:02:31,893 --> 00:02:33,518
But it didn't help!
Crowd: Yeah!
67
00:02:33,604 --> 00:02:34,895
- My point is,
our goats are dead.
68
00:02:34,981 --> 00:02:37,148
Crowd: Yeah!
- You're overexplaining it.
69
00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:38,485
Crowd: Oh.
- What are you,
70
00:02:38,530 --> 00:02:40,363
My angry mob mentor?
Crowd: Yes!
71
00:02:40,408 --> 00:02:42,032
- Man, our city sucks.
72
00:02:42,077 --> 00:02:44,869
They can't even kill
one murderer together.
73
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,167
- Everybody, I'm going
to create a system
74
00:02:48,212 --> 00:02:51,880
By which you, the people,
are in charge of justice.
75
00:02:51,927 --> 00:02:54,302
We'll call it
"a justice system."
76
00:02:55,057 --> 00:02:56,849
- I don't wanna speak
for the whole mob,
77
00:02:56,935 --> 00:02:59,602
But I'm willing to indulge you
because this torch is heavy!
78
00:02:59,648 --> 00:03:00,939
Crowd: Yeah!
79
00:03:01,025 --> 00:03:03,568
[all grumbling]
80
00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,113
- That was close.
- Yeah.
81
00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:07,783
For a moment there,
you almost spinelessly pandered
82
00:03:07,871 --> 00:03:10,121
To a bunch of dingholes
I could've easily killed.
83
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:11,165
- You don't get it.
84
00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:13,168
If the people are
in charge of justice,
85
00:03:13,213 --> 00:03:15,839
They'll have to agree
on who's guilty or innocent.
86
00:03:15,925 --> 00:03:17,717
Those people can't agree
on anything,
87
00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:18,678
So I'll just talk in circles
88
00:03:18,764 --> 00:03:20,221
Until dad gets away
with murder.
89
00:03:20,349 --> 00:03:24,268
- You don't seriously expect me
to admire you for this, do you?
90
00:03:24,356 --> 00:03:27,232
[metallic clanging]
91
00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:32,158
- [groans]
92
00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:33,577
[zapping]
93
00:03:36,711 --> 00:03:39,754
Ugh, unbelievable.
94
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,382
What are you doing?
95
00:03:41,427 --> 00:03:42,802
- It's called science, mom.
96
00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:45,013
- Don't ever call me mom.
97
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,308
That's a word
my actual children try
98
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,394
And use to leverage me.
99
00:03:48,439 --> 00:03:49,563
I tolerate it from them.
100
00:03:49,565 --> 00:03:50,981
I won't from you.
101
00:03:51,068 --> 00:03:53,568
Now what is the point
of this science?
102
00:03:53,656 --> 00:03:55,531
- We can use it
to do amazing things,
103
00:03:55,575 --> 00:03:57,158
Like give people water.
104
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,495
- Like this?
105
00:03:58,580 --> 00:04:00,330
- That's also impressive.
106
00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:01,416
- Isn't it just?
107
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,377
It's called being powerful.
108
00:04:03,464 --> 00:04:05,923
It's why I have a temple
and why mortals worship me
109
00:04:05,968 --> 00:04:08,844
And why half-fish stepchildren
should know better than to ruin
110
00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:11,599
What was previously
a pretty solid day drunk.
111
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:12,935
- Powerful. Got it.
112
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:15,272
Um, before you go,
could you--
113
00:04:15,359 --> 00:04:17,109
- Invent an umbrella.
114
00:04:17,153 --> 00:04:19,445
Quietly.
115
00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:20,490
- Dad?
116
00:04:20,576 --> 00:04:22,617
Dad?
- [muffled grunts]
117
00:04:22,705 --> 00:04:24,705
- Okay, grab him.
- Come on, old man.
118
00:04:24,791 --> 00:04:26,875
When's the last time
you fit through any window?
119
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,629
- I am not leaving
through the window.
120
00:04:29,675 --> 00:04:31,466
I was grabbing my weed.
121
00:04:31,553 --> 00:04:32,760
I'm leaving from the roof.
122
00:04:32,847 --> 00:04:34,763
- Why leave?
I'm going to exonerate you.
123
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:37,684
- My boy, you're what, 30?
I'm thousands.
124
00:04:37,771 --> 00:04:40,063
This is how it works
with monsters and humans.
125
00:04:40,151 --> 00:04:42,693
I chill among you a while,
then something creepy happens,
126
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:45,489
You kids grab the torches,
and daddy bones out.
127
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:46,993
It's been real.
- I have a plan.
128
00:04:47,038 --> 00:04:48,495
I already sold the people
on it.
129
00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:50,081
It's why they disbanded.
130
00:04:50,126 --> 00:04:53,920
- You need me to put my head
on the block to save yours.
131
00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:55,715
- Well, it sounds bad
when you say it.
132
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:56,967
- All right, well,
how's this sound?
133
00:04:57,012 --> 00:04:59,712
I'm gonna put my weed plant
up on the roof--
134
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,308
- Flight risk.
- [grunts]
135
00:05:01,353 --> 00:05:02,518
Can I hang on to my weed,
136
00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:04,021
Or is there a law
against that too?
137
00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:05,774
- Your weed
will always be legal, dad.
138
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:07,610
I'm a tyrant,
not a crazy person.
139
00:05:12,038 --> 00:05:13,746
- Okay, here's
how it's going to work.
140
00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:15,749
We're replacing
the large angry mob
141
00:05:15,835 --> 00:05:18,002
With a smaller, seated,
thoughtful mob.
142
00:05:18,048 --> 00:05:19,005
That's you guys.
143
00:05:19,132 --> 00:05:20,882
You'll decide
on guilt or innocence
144
00:05:21,011 --> 00:05:24,170
After hearing all information
from both sides.
145
00:05:24,174 --> 00:05:26,225
- Question.
- Not your job, but go ahead.
146
00:05:26,269 --> 00:05:29,729
- How are you allowed to be
king and defend the killer?
147
00:05:29,776 --> 00:05:31,192
It seems janky.
- Janky?
148
00:05:31,278 --> 00:05:34,029
That's a word now?
- Are you ruling over that too?
149
00:05:34,117 --> 00:05:35,616
- Uh-huh!
- I mean, it really does
150
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,619
Seem janky.
- Okay, okay.
151
00:05:37,664 --> 00:05:38,955
This is not part
of the royal court.
152
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,333
This is a separate court,
a legal court,
153
00:05:41,462 --> 00:05:42,628
Where there is no king.
154
00:05:42,672 --> 00:05:43,921
- So who's in charge?
155
00:05:44,008 --> 00:05:45,632
- Well, we don't really--okay.
156
00:05:45,677 --> 00:05:48,177
Who is the oldest person
in the city?
157
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:51,391
- What? I don't wanna be
involved in this hipster crap.
158
00:05:51,478 --> 00:05:52,602
I'm 40!
159
00:05:52,647 --> 00:05:53,855
- You don't even have
to do anything
160
00:05:53,899 --> 00:05:55,315
But sit there and be old.
161
00:05:55,402 --> 00:05:56,359
Just do it.
162
00:05:57,363 --> 00:05:58,154
Make him do it.
- Hey!
163
00:05:58,198 --> 00:05:59,531
I don't have time for this!
164
00:05:59,617 --> 00:06:01,492
I could die any moment!
165
00:06:01,579 --> 00:06:03,620
I'm 40 years old!
166
00:06:03,666 --> 00:06:04,915
Uh, what's this?
167
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,752
- That was left there
by a carpenter
168
00:06:06,796 --> 00:06:08,755
And clearly has nothing
to do with any...
169
00:06:08,799 --> 00:06:10,466
If we could get started, I'd--
- what?
170
00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:12,302
- What do you mean "what"?
You're banging a hammer--
171
00:06:12,347 --> 00:06:14,806
- When I feel like it?
That's what I thought.
172
00:06:14,893 --> 00:06:16,267
Okay, I'm into this job.
173
00:06:16,312 --> 00:06:19,730
I'm not into your music,
but I'm into this job.
174
00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:21,526
Proceed.
- All right. I'm--
175
00:06:21,571 --> 00:06:23,029
I'm sorry.
What's wrong with our music?
176
00:06:23,115 --> 00:06:26,325
- It's a bunch of people
banging on drums.
177
00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:28,913
When I was your age,
we had to make the drums.
178
00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:30,458
- You're five years older
than us.
179
00:06:30,503 --> 00:06:34,379
- Everything's a number
to your generation.
180
00:06:36,846 --> 00:06:37,887
[whooshing]
- aah!
181
00:06:37,932 --> 00:06:39,223
[groans]
- my bad!
182
00:06:39,267 --> 00:06:40,683
You've got a great story now,
though.
183
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:42,061
Almost never happens.
184
00:06:42,106 --> 00:06:43,438
[whispers]
when I'm sober.
185
00:06:43,525 --> 00:06:44,816
- You're too much.
186
00:06:44,902 --> 00:06:45,943
- I'm just enough.
187
00:06:45,987 --> 00:06:47,529
- I could use a little more.
188
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,323
[both laugh]
189
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,118
[both sigh]
190
00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,496
How are you, herm-herms?
191
00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:55,125
- Just runnin' and funnin'.
192
00:06:55,211 --> 00:06:56,919
Spreadin' words
of stuff I heard.
193
00:06:56,964 --> 00:06:58,755
Speaking of which,
so sorry to hear
194
00:06:58,842 --> 00:07:00,133
About all
those lost worshippers.
195
00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,885
- What do you mean?
- Oh, right.
196
00:07:01,931 --> 00:07:03,722
You probably haven't heard
because all the other gods
197
00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:05,684
Have been talking about it
behind your back.
198
00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:06,853
The killassians,
199
00:07:06,897 --> 00:07:08,230
They're worshipping
some new god.
200
00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:10,358
- The killassians?
Well, that's my city.
201
00:07:10,444 --> 00:07:11,694
They pray to me.
202
00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,613
What's the name
of this new god?
203
00:07:13,659 --> 00:07:15,534
- Simon? S�ance?
204
00:07:15,579 --> 00:07:16,786
- Is it science?
205
00:07:16,831 --> 00:07:18,247
- You know him?
Introduce me.
206
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:20,625
Or you could just turn
into a crow and blow me off.
207
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:22,003
Bitch.
208
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,056
[magical poof]
209
00:07:31,272 --> 00:07:33,147
- Where is the fish boy?
210
00:07:33,817 --> 00:07:35,859
- To what do we owe the honor?
211
00:07:35,905 --> 00:07:36,987
- Playtime is over.
212
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,864
Give me back my killassians.
213
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,951
- I'm sorry, but no.
214
00:07:41,038 --> 00:07:43,914
- It sounded like
you said "no,"
215
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:45,250
But that can't be right
216
00:07:45,295 --> 00:07:47,962
Because it would result
in your immediate death.
217
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,049
- Killassians,
218
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,552
Will you worship deliria
if she kills me?
219
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,972
Killassians: No! Hail science!
220
00:07:54,018 --> 00:07:56,101
- Turns out, you don't have
to be a god to be powerful.
221
00:07:56,189 --> 00:07:57,563
You just have to create one.
222
00:07:57,565 --> 00:07:59,148
Killassians: Hail science!
223
00:07:59,236 --> 00:08:03,863
- My life may be infinite,
but my patience is not.
224
00:08:03,993 --> 00:08:05,576
- You may not care
if I live or die,
225
00:08:05,621 --> 00:08:08,705
But my dad does,
and you love him.
226
00:08:08,751 --> 00:08:10,042
La la la.
227
00:08:10,128 --> 00:08:12,087
So I guess it's time
for you to become outraged
228
00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:14,423
And fake a mysterious reason
to leave.
229
00:08:14,469 --> 00:08:16,010
- I won't tolerate this
230
00:08:16,013 --> 00:08:20,266
Because I'm late
to make love to the moon.
231
00:08:21,439 --> 00:08:24,357
- Science demands
I take a bath,
232
00:08:24,519 --> 00:08:26,861
Which is more fun
with a friend.
233
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:29,198
- All right!
234
00:08:29,286 --> 00:08:30,952
- [sighs]
235
00:08:33,042 --> 00:08:34,292
- I don't know
if this is helpful,
236
00:08:34,336 --> 00:08:36,253
But depending on
when those goats were killed,
237
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:38,298
I may have been
at home masturbating.
238
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:41,093
It actually depends very little
on when they were killed.
239
00:08:41,139 --> 00:08:43,889
- Was it in front of a crowd
of reputable witnesses?
240
00:08:43,935 --> 00:08:45,018
- Bless your heart, son.
241
00:08:45,062 --> 00:08:46,478
I'm not 100 anymore.
242
00:08:46,565 --> 00:08:48,064
- Dad, under my new system,
243
00:08:48,151 --> 00:08:50,443
You have the right
to say nothing.
244
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,030
I'd like you to do that.
245
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,116
- If I say nothing,
won't I look guilty?
246
00:08:54,161 --> 00:08:56,453
- Not as much
as if you say anything.
247
00:08:56,540 --> 00:08:57,622
I've got a strategy.
248
00:08:57,708 --> 00:08:58,707
I'm going to convince everyone
249
00:08:58,793 --> 00:08:59,834
You were accused
250
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,379
Simply because
you are a monster.
251
00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:03,466
[echoing boom]
252
00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:04,675
- Sorry I'm late.
253
00:09:04,762 --> 00:09:06,511
I walked instead of flying.
254
00:09:06,557 --> 00:09:08,807
Last thing this city needs
is more panic.
255
00:09:08,894 --> 00:09:10,268
- Excuse me!
256
00:09:10,355 --> 00:09:12,980
We can't just have
a sphinx wandering around.
257
00:09:13,026 --> 00:09:16,194
- The sphinx's name is brenda,
and I'm here
258
00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:18,740
To represent the goat farmers
against your father.
259
00:09:18,827 --> 00:09:22,120
- Now you can't make us
look anti-monster.
260
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,249
- Brenda, why?
This isn't who you are.
261
00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:26,712
You love riddles.
- I loved one.
262
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,216
It got solved,
and we all have to eat,
263
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,929
Appropriately,
in normal quantities,
264
00:09:31,974 --> 00:09:33,599
With human permission.
265
00:09:33,685 --> 00:09:35,936
[humans cheering]
266
00:09:36,023 --> 00:09:38,023
- Everyone,
stop being loud and young!
267
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,859
- Did you have
a backup strategy?
268
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,946
- I did,
but it was basically
269
00:09:41,991 --> 00:09:44,534
To double down
on the first one.
270
00:09:46,165 --> 00:09:48,958
As a trader of pottery,
you've seen a lot of stories
271
00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:52,003
Painted on a lot of vases,
pots, and bowls, correct?
272
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,801
- Well, of course.
That's why I got into ceramics.
273
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:55,928
I'm a news junkie.
274
00:09:56,014 --> 00:09:57,806
- And how many vases
have you seen
275
00:09:57,893 --> 00:09:59,893
Depicting monsters
as innocent creatures?
276
00:09:59,938 --> 00:10:02,188
- [laughs] none.
- You're laughing about that.
277
00:10:02,276 --> 00:10:04,818
- Well, it's funny
to imagine a vase
278
00:10:04,946 --> 00:10:06,779
Showing a monster
helping someone.
279
00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:08,491
Nobody would want it.
280
00:10:08,536 --> 00:10:12,329
- "nobody would want it."
281
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:13,499
Your expert.
282
00:10:13,544 --> 00:10:14,918
- Thank you.
283
00:10:14,963 --> 00:10:17,505
Do you ever keep old pottery?
284
00:10:17,593 --> 00:10:20,218
- Well, the older a vase gets,
the less valuable.
285
00:10:20,306 --> 00:10:23,515
But I do keep an archive
of stories that seem important.
286
00:10:23,561 --> 00:10:26,437
- Oh? Anything this court
might find enlightening?
287
00:10:26,524 --> 00:10:29,609
- Well, as a matter of fact,
I sure did find something.
288
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,905
This bowl is centuries old.
289
00:10:31,992 --> 00:10:34,159
We can't know
what region this was,
290
00:10:34,245 --> 00:10:37,330
But you see here a monster
that looks like the accused.
291
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:40,793
And these appear
to be human babies.
292
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,842
And then this would be
the accused eating the babies.
293
00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:45,971
[crowd gasps]
- oh, no.
294
00:10:46,015 --> 00:10:48,682
- Oh, that was mesopotamia.
295
00:10:48,728 --> 00:10:49,769
Or sumeria.
296
00:10:49,813 --> 00:10:50,979
I get them confused.
297
00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:52,899
One thing is for sure, though:
298
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,444
I have gained weight.
299
00:10:59,246 --> 00:11:00,828
- Why didn't you tell me
you spent
300
00:11:00,873 --> 00:11:02,873
Part of your life
eating babies?
301
00:11:02,961 --> 00:11:04,168
- I'm on trial
for eating goats.
302
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:05,754
It hardly seemed relevant.
303
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:06,839
- Not to get us off track,
304
00:11:06,884 --> 00:11:08,092
But what do they taste like?
305
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,385
- Do not answer that!
306
00:11:09,429 --> 00:11:12,097
- Look, I spent some time
a thousand years ago
307
00:11:12,226 --> 00:11:14,560
Imprisoned in a pit
by a tribe of humans
308
00:11:14,605 --> 00:11:17,815
That refused to feed me
anything but their enemies.
309
00:11:17,902 --> 00:11:19,902
- Who's enemies with babies?
310
00:11:19,990 --> 00:11:22,282
- You know, human values
have a habit of drifting.
311
00:11:22,326 --> 00:11:24,243
It always starts with
"let's get rid of bad people"
312
00:11:24,329 --> 00:11:27,330
And somehow always ends up
with a baby pit.
313
00:11:27,377 --> 00:11:30,044
Oh, honey, you're back.
I missed you.
314
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,714
- What are you doing?
- Whoops.
315
00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:34,176
[crow squawks]
your loss, whoever you are.
316
00:11:34,263 --> 00:11:36,388
- I don't care what you do
with that slutty bird.
317
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,934
I just need you
to do me a small favor.
318
00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,979
- Anything, my love.
- Kill your son.
319
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:42,941
- Okay,
but since he's defending me,
320
00:11:43,028 --> 00:11:44,485
It might be a bit of an issue.
321
00:11:44,614 --> 00:11:46,947
- Not our son, your son.
322
00:11:46,993 --> 00:11:48,743
I'd do it,
but you know the rules.
323
00:11:48,787 --> 00:11:49,995
"you make 'em, you kill 'em."
324
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,164
- Nobody's killing anyone.
325
00:11:51,292 --> 00:11:52,833
What do you think
hippocampus did
326
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,210
That would warrant his murder?
327
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:56,881
- He took my killassians away
from me.
328
00:11:56,968 --> 00:11:58,176
- So what?
It's not like
329
00:11:58,220 --> 00:11:59,845
You ever did anything
to earn their worship.
330
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:01,598
- You don't earn worship.
331
00:12:01,643 --> 00:12:02,683
Then it's not worship.
332
00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:04,811
If I had to do things
to get things,
333
00:12:04,856 --> 00:12:06,397
I'd be one of you things.
334
00:12:06,442 --> 00:12:08,400
- Well, if people praised you
and never get anything for it,
335
00:12:08,488 --> 00:12:11,781
Doesn't it stand to reason
that they might stop?
336
00:12:11,910 --> 00:12:13,326
- Of course.
You're right.
337
00:12:13,412 --> 00:12:15,162
I don't have
to kill your brother.
338
00:12:15,248 --> 00:12:16,998
I just have
to bribe everyone with gifts
339
00:12:17,043 --> 00:12:19,335
So they forget all
about that stupid science.
340
00:12:19,381 --> 00:12:20,963
- That's not really
what I was saying.
341
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,175
- Got what I wanted.
Not listening.
342
00:12:23,221 --> 00:12:25,054
- Okay, back
to what's actually important.
343
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,890
Dad, I'm going
to lose this case,
344
00:12:26,976 --> 00:12:28,226
And you're going to die.
345
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:29,937
- Look, I know laws
just got invented,
346
00:12:30,023 --> 00:12:31,815
But I think your dad needs
to break a couple
347
00:12:31,902 --> 00:12:32,859
If he's gonna live.
348
00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:33,860
- She's right.
349
00:12:33,905 --> 00:12:35,113
I'll tell people you escaped.
350
00:12:35,157 --> 00:12:37,741
Can you maul and trample me
a little?
351
00:12:37,745 --> 00:12:38,994
Oh, in a way that doesn't hurt.
352
00:12:39,038 --> 00:12:40,287
- I can't run now, son.
353
00:12:40,332 --> 00:12:41,832
Your people would kill you.
354
00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:43,251
- They'll kill you if you stay.
355
00:12:43,337 --> 00:12:47,089
- But legally, thanks to you.
356
00:12:47,177 --> 00:12:49,594
- You're welcome?
357
00:12:51,268 --> 00:12:54,018
- Someone in this city
killed the goats, folks,
358
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:57,023
And someone in your city
used to eat babies.
359
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:59,027
Not exactly a riddle.
360
00:12:59,072 --> 00:13:00,905
I'd know.
I'm a sphinx.
361
00:13:00,992 --> 00:13:02,116
You want to hear a riddle?
362
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:03,702
- Oh, god.
Here she goes.
363
00:13:03,788 --> 00:13:05,371
- What has four legs
in the morning,
364
00:13:05,499 --> 00:13:07,750
Two legs at noon,
and three legs at night?
365
00:13:07,795 --> 00:13:11,839
Man because he crawls as a baby
and uses a cane when he's old.
366
00:13:11,927 --> 00:13:13,218
Thank you.
- Ooh.
367
00:13:13,263 --> 00:13:15,263
- That was a good riddle.
- Impressive.
368
00:13:15,349 --> 00:13:16,599
- I'm not addressing
that riddle
369
00:13:16,685 --> 00:13:19,019
Because it has nothing to do
with the trial.
370
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,898
Also, not a great riddle.
371
00:13:20,942 --> 00:13:21,816
- We liked her riddle.
372
00:13:21,903 --> 00:13:23,027
- It's clearly popular,
373
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,653
Which is why
I won't criticize it,
374
00:13:24,741 --> 00:13:27,909
But it's frustrating
when popular things are stupid.
375
00:13:27,954 --> 00:13:29,287
- Come on.
- Crazy.
376
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,457
- The sphinx's riddle is
not on trial, young man.
377
00:13:31,502 --> 00:13:34,127
- No, it's not
and never has been.
378
00:13:34,215 --> 00:13:36,298
Maybe it should've been.
[people grumbling]
379
00:13:36,385 --> 00:13:37,343
Moving on.
380
00:13:37,345 --> 00:13:38,552
- Excuse me.
Not moving on.
381
00:13:38,639 --> 00:13:40,972
I want to know
what makes my riddle stupid.
382
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,100
- I shouldn't have said that.
383
00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:45,145
That was rude,
and I'm sorry.
384
00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:47,234
I just think
that a proper riddle
385
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,403
Is a solvable
linguistic puzzle,
386
00:13:49,532 --> 00:13:51,949
Like, what can be touched
but not seen?
387
00:13:51,953 --> 00:13:53,786
The heart.
388
00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:56,582
- Can we just find
his father guilty now?
389
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,919
- You don't wanna hear
his closing argument?
390
00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:00,256
- Kind of a waste of time.
391
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,300
- Yeah, this guy's time
is so important.
392
00:14:02,428 --> 00:14:04,345
What are you, late to marry
an overrated riddle?
393
00:14:04,432 --> 00:14:06,307
[people booing]
394
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:11,398
- Killassians,
deliria has returned.
395
00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:14,653
And I think you're going
to like what I brought with me.
396
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,157
- An air of desperation?
397
00:14:16,244 --> 00:14:18,786
- In my thousands of years
on this planet,
398
00:14:18,874 --> 00:14:20,290
I have learned many things,
399
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:24,587
But mostly how to properly
reward my worshippers.
400
00:14:24,716 --> 00:14:26,799
So you're welcome.
401
00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:29,095
Ooh, honey.
402
00:14:29,141 --> 00:14:31,099
Yum, yum, yum.
403
00:14:31,185 --> 00:14:33,394
- Bribery?
Isn't that beneath you?
404
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,397
- Not if it works.
- It won't.
405
00:14:35,484 --> 00:14:36,859
You can offer them
anything you want,
406
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:38,904
But they won't take it.
407
00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,323
Asskill, wanna tell her why?
408
00:14:40,451 --> 00:14:42,951
- Science has opened our eyes
to amazing new concepts.
409
00:14:42,997 --> 00:14:44,705
I mean, the baths alone.
410
00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:45,707
Right, bath buddy?
411
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:46,918
- Not in front of people.
412
00:14:47,004 --> 00:14:49,713
- You idiots really believe
this nonsense?
413
00:14:49,759 --> 00:14:52,384
I'm a god. I'm real.
414
00:14:52,429 --> 00:14:54,220
- It's called faith,
stepmother,
415
00:14:54,308 --> 00:14:56,391
And it's much bigger than you.
416
00:14:56,436 --> 00:14:59,771
- But is it bigger
than sandals?
417
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,567
Shovels? Dairy cows?
418
00:15:02,613 --> 00:15:04,363
Piles of hair?
419
00:15:04,408 --> 00:15:06,992
Killassians: All hail science!
420
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:08,703
- Shall we talk?
421
00:15:08,749 --> 00:15:10,374
- What do you want?
422
00:15:10,418 --> 00:15:13,086
- I want you
to let me call you mom.
423
00:15:13,131 --> 00:15:14,381
- What? Why?
424
00:15:14,424 --> 00:15:16,049
- Does it matter?
- No.
425
00:15:16,136 --> 00:15:17,844
Because it's never going
to happen.
426
00:15:17,889 --> 00:15:19,013
- Which is exactly why
427
00:15:19,058 --> 00:15:21,308
It's the only thing
I will accept.
428
00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:23,395
- You do realize
it won't mean anything.
429
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,315
You can't make me love you.
430
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,151
- Pfft, I don't want your love.
431
00:15:27,196 --> 00:15:28,278
I want power.
432
00:15:28,365 --> 00:15:30,573
You see,
every time I call you mom,
433
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,702
You'll know I beat you.
434
00:15:32,747 --> 00:15:34,872
That's worth everything.
435
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,792
- I am strangely impressed
436
00:15:36,879 --> 00:15:39,338
By your cold,
unfeeling calculations.
437
00:15:39,425 --> 00:15:40,924
- I thought you might be.
- Fine.
438
00:15:41,012 --> 00:15:43,345
Because you are power-hungry
and have proven yourself
439
00:15:43,432 --> 00:15:46,182
A worthy adversary,
I will allow you this.
440
00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:48,353
- I know you will, mom.
441
00:15:48,399 --> 00:15:51,316
- Ooh, it's like being stabbed
in the ears.
442
00:15:51,446 --> 00:15:54,488
Now can we finally get out
of this dusty hellhole?
443
00:15:54,576 --> 00:15:57,493
- Absolutely.
I miss my bed and my lab.
444
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,456
Plus, no matter
how much water they get,
445
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:03,210
These people still smell
like half-dead muskrats.
446
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,008
All hail science or whatever.
447
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,803
Smell ya later!
448
00:16:07,848 --> 00:16:10,140
What are you gonna do about
all your lost worshippers?
449
00:16:10,185 --> 00:16:11,350
- Well, I'm not too worried.
450
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,395
I have a feeling
they'll find their way back.
451
00:16:13,483 --> 00:16:14,982
I might not know
what humans like,
452
00:16:15,069 --> 00:16:16,902
But I know what they don't:
453
00:16:17,030 --> 00:16:18,738
Locusts!
454
00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:20,199
[buzzing]
455
00:16:20,243 --> 00:16:23,703
[people screaming]
456
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,750
- And if a lifetime,
which is a series of days,
457
00:16:25,836 --> 00:16:27,252
Looks like a single day,
458
00:16:27,380 --> 00:16:31,049
Your perspective is so distant
that a cane would be a leg,
459
00:16:31,137 --> 00:16:33,221
So it's not just
a jumble of metaphors.
460
00:16:33,265 --> 00:16:34,723
It's the best riddle ever,
461
00:16:34,768 --> 00:16:37,185
And I now understand
why people like it.
462
00:16:37,231 --> 00:16:38,313
Good enough?
463
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,984
- All right, you may begin
your closing argument,
464
00:16:42,072 --> 00:16:44,030
But it better be good.
465
00:16:44,076 --> 00:16:47,202
- Fact: Your goats were eaten.
466
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:50,666
Fact: My dad...
467
00:16:50,753 --> 00:16:52,461
- Ate babies.
468
00:16:52,548 --> 00:16:55,799
- Stop telling everyone
you ate babies!
469
00:16:55,887 --> 00:16:57,846
Stop talking.
470
00:16:57,932 --> 00:17:00,683
Everything you say is...
471
00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:04,523
True.
472
00:17:04,652 --> 00:17:09,155
My father has never lied
in his life.
473
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,076
I should know.
474
00:17:11,121 --> 00:17:13,538
I grew up wishing he would.
475
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:18,461
I also grew up
constantly lying about him.
476
00:17:18,550 --> 00:17:22,010
I told people
I didn't have a father.
477
00:17:22,097 --> 00:17:24,306
I was ashamed of him
478
00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:26,059
Because he's shameless.
479
00:17:26,188 --> 00:17:27,270
- It's true.
480
00:17:27,356 --> 00:17:29,565
- We want to be good.
481
00:17:29,611 --> 00:17:32,987
We want
to set wrong things right.
482
00:17:33,116 --> 00:17:34,866
You know who else wanted that?
483
00:17:34,952 --> 00:17:36,535
These guys.
484
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:39,206
Chucking babies
into a monster's mouth.
485
00:17:39,251 --> 00:17:41,251
What happened here?
486
00:17:41,297 --> 00:17:43,839
If we asked these humans,
would they tell us,
487
00:17:43,884 --> 00:17:46,343
Or would they say,
"it didn't happen that way.
488
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:48,138
"there's more to it than that.
489
00:17:48,225 --> 00:17:49,349
"the babies were bigger.
490
00:17:49,393 --> 00:17:51,352
"they were
very dangerous babies.
491
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,146
You had to be there.
Trust me"?
492
00:17:53,234 --> 00:17:55,943
Well, I don't trust them.
493
00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:57,863
They're too human.
494
00:17:57,950 --> 00:17:59,616
They mean too well.
495
00:17:59,702 --> 00:18:01,619
And they want too much.
496
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:05,165
And they lie too often.
497
00:18:05,295 --> 00:18:07,963
Is there a reason
not to let this guy babysit?
498
00:18:08,050 --> 00:18:09,549
Yep.
499
00:18:09,636 --> 00:18:13,179
Are there reasons not to take
his grooming advice? Yes.
500
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:14,849
When you look at him,
listen to him,
501
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,269
Or watch him do anything,
502
00:18:16,313 --> 00:18:18,855
Is it reasonable
to be disgusted?
503
00:18:18,943 --> 00:18:20,651
Maybe.
504
00:18:20,779 --> 00:18:23,688
But there's no reason
to mistrust him.
505
00:18:23,743 --> 00:18:27,161
He's never pretended
to be better than he is.
506
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,958
That's me.
That's you.
507
00:18:30,045 --> 00:18:31,712
That's these guys.
508
00:18:31,798 --> 00:18:36,843
That's why humans have to be
extra careful about justice.
509
00:18:36,889 --> 00:18:38,264
We're too good at it.
510
00:18:38,309 --> 00:18:41,518
And too wrong, too often.
511
00:18:42,149 --> 00:18:44,316
This guy ate babies.
512
00:18:44,361 --> 00:18:46,778
He didn't eat your goats.
Thank you.
513
00:18:46,865 --> 00:18:49,198
- Mm-hmm.
- Very impressive.
514
00:18:49,244 --> 00:18:50,577
- I'll tell you
what happened here.
515
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,373
One of these babies survived
and sired my ancestors.
516
00:18:54,461 --> 00:18:59,213
I am the last descendant
of the baby that got away.
517
00:18:59,303 --> 00:19:02,763
- Son,
this is a goat-eating trial.
518
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:03,932
- No, you idiots!
519
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,019
The whole point
of killing the goats
520
00:19:06,105 --> 00:19:07,313
Was to make you understand
521
00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:09,608
You're sheltering
an evil beast!
522
00:19:09,695 --> 00:19:12,946
- Wait, are you saying
you killed our goats?
523
00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:13,949
- Look! Goats!
524
00:19:14,036 --> 00:19:16,078
[scared panting]
525
00:19:16,164 --> 00:19:17,246
- Let's go!
- Let's get him!
526
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,290
- Come on!
- Get him!
527
00:19:18,377 --> 00:19:20,335
- We find the monster innocent.
528
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:21,962
Get the torches!
- Yeah!
529
00:19:22,007 --> 00:19:22,923
[jury cheering]
530
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,304
- Go get him.
- [laughs evilly]
531
00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:30,017
- Justice is hereby over.
Keeping the hammer.
532
00:19:30,063 --> 00:19:31,312
- Thank you, son.
533
00:19:31,357 --> 00:19:34,483
- You're welcome,
you baby-eating old bastard.
534
00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:35,945
[crowd cheering]
- come on!
535
00:19:36,031 --> 00:19:37,489
Get him!
- [sobbing]
536
00:19:37,492 --> 00:19:39,075
- Yeah!
- [grunts]
537
00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:40,452
- Should they be doing that?
538
00:19:40,497 --> 00:19:42,372
Doesn't everybody
have rights now?
539
00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:44,458
- Yeah, everybody but that guy.
540
00:19:44,546 --> 00:19:46,546
Let's take the win.
- Congratulations.
541
00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:47,840
I had a feeling
you were innocent.
542
00:19:47,884 --> 00:19:50,301
- Are you serious?
Then what the hell, brenda?
543
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:51,721
Why?
- I was hungry.
544
00:19:51,766 --> 00:19:53,933
And they offered me
a lot of goat carcasses.
545
00:19:53,978 --> 00:19:55,185
Hey, king tyrannis,
546
00:19:55,355 --> 00:19:57,188
What's a dick in the morning...
- Yep, that's okay.
547
00:19:57,275 --> 00:19:58,524
- And then at night?
- We get it.
548
00:19:58,610 --> 00:19:59,776
- You.
- Oh, wow.
549
00:19:59,821 --> 00:20:01,404
Good thing you followed
all the way through.
550
00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:04,074
- What can't hear a dick
over the sound of it leaving?
551
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,704
Brenda the legal sphinx!
552
00:20:08,085 --> 00:20:09,960
[whoosh]
aah!
553
00:20:10,046 --> 00:20:11,713
Both: Whoa!
- Holy!
554
00:20:11,757 --> 00:20:12,798
- Did you see that?
555
00:20:12,885 --> 00:20:15,469
- Sphinx flying
just outside the city.
556
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,556
- Mom got it!
- Mom, no!
557
00:20:17,601 --> 00:20:19,851
- Oh, he's just as much
my child as you two.
558
00:20:19,938 --> 00:20:21,146
- No, not that.
559
00:20:21,232 --> 00:20:23,441
That was, uh--
we knew her.
560
00:20:23,527 --> 00:20:25,444
- Well, she may be alive.
561
00:20:25,531 --> 00:20:27,364
- She was making sounds
going down.
562
00:20:27,451 --> 00:20:30,452
Not good sounds,
but not no sounds.
563
00:20:30,498 --> 00:20:32,456
- [sighs]
do I have to go and get her?
564
00:20:32,501 --> 00:20:35,710
- No, we'll all
go get her together.
565
00:20:35,798 --> 00:20:38,633
- So I have
to go get her slowly.
566
00:20:42,142 --> 00:20:43,558
Ugh.
567
00:20:46,733 --> 00:20:48,566
- I say, darling,
do you ever think
568
00:20:48,653 --> 00:20:51,529
How lucky you are that you
don't have to bathe yourself?
569
00:20:51,616 --> 00:20:54,825
No washing your armpits
or legpits or wingpits
570
00:20:54,914 --> 00:20:55,996
Or your tailpit?
571
00:20:56,082 --> 00:20:57,998
- Can't say that I have.
572
00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:09,434
Have you quite finished?
573
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,439
- Well, now I have
to start again.
574
00:21:12,527 --> 00:21:13,985
- Isn't it strange
575
00:21:14,029 --> 00:21:15,988
How the things you once
found cute in a lover
576
00:21:16,032 --> 00:21:19,492
Become the very things that
end up torturing you forever?
577
00:21:19,538 --> 00:21:21,955
- Well, I like the idea
of being loved forever.
578
00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:24,042
- Then stop that.
579
00:21:27,969 --> 00:21:29,635
I like it too.
580
00:21:31,099 --> 00:21:32,515
- Did you get any of that?
581
00:21:35,064 --> 00:21:36,606
- Bento.
[applause]
582
00:21:36,656 --> 00:21:41,206
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