All language subtitles for Something in Common.(1986)

🎵 Outro Music 🎵

Lynn, we've got to discuss this Theo Fontana thing.

I can't work with him, Gene. I don't like his writing.

He writes books for the chronically self-involved.

Now, now, don't be a snob, Lynn. He's helped an awful lot of people.

Oh, he doesn't help them. That's just an excuse.

He touches them all over.

Let's face it, that guy is the next best thing to a sex pervert.

Oh, he is not.

Theo Fontana is a legitimate psychologist.

And besides, he's a best-selling sex pervert.

See, you agree with me.

All that touch me, feel me, hug me, hold me business.

It's not normal.

You don't have to touch him. You just have to work with him.

Why don't you think of it as a few weeks in the sunshine?

A few weeks? I can't leave Nicky alone that long.

Can't you find a babysitter?

Nicky? He's 22 years old.

Exactly. Get on the phone, Lynn. Book yourself a first-class ticket.

But, Gene, I hate Los Angeles.

I mean, I fit in out there. My clothes look funny.

Tell everybody you're from New York.

I don't have to tell them. They know.

Look, I can't help it that Theo Fontana lives on the West Coast.

And I can't help it that he's heard that you're the most brilliant editor in the English-speaking world

and that he wouldn't dream of working with anyone else.

He said that? He did.

Well, all right. Let's face it.

The man is not entirely without insight.

Oops. Sorry.

So you think he plans to get touchy-feely with you?

Of course not. We're professionals.

I don't know, Mom. Maybe you shouldn't underestimate yourself.

Oh, how can you eat that junk?

I happen to like processed cheese. Do you mind?

Mr. Gourmet Hot Shot?

That cooking school has turned you into a food snob.

I know. Please see what I'm making for the banquet. It's terrific.

The banquet? I'm going to be in California.

Maybe you can get Grandpa to come, huh?

It's okay. He can come to the one in January when we graduate.

We finish in January? Boy, that went by fast.

Yeah. Just think, pretty soon you'll be able to tell all your friends

that your son graduated Phi Beta Kappa from cooking school.

Tell me, Mom, from the heart,

do you ever wish you had two regular, normal sons?

David's normal. I mean, he's going to medical school and he has a girlfriend.

I mean me.

Wouldn't you prefer it if you had a lawyer, a stockbroker instead?

I have a lawyer and a stockbroker. They just don't happen to be my sons.

You won't hurt my feelings, Mom, really.

I mean, sometimes late at night, don't you wish I was a little more legitimate?

Oh, you're legitimate. I can vouch for that.

Besides, being a chef is a perfectly normal profession.

It's just not conventional, that's all.

No, I know that. It's just that sometimes I think I chose the wrong role, Mom.

What do you mean?

Well, some of the happiest times I can remember were in the kitchen.

And I guess I went to cooking school because in some way

I want to remember those moments for the rest of my life.

Do you know how flattered I am that you chose me as a role model?

Nick, hi.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Nicky.

How you doing?

Oh, I'm okay.

So, you in the city these days or what?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm in school.

Oh, that's neat.

Well, it was great talking to you.

Yeah, you too.

Bye.

Who are those?

Nobody.

I don't get it, honey. I really don't.

I mean, there's no reason why you should spend so much time by yourself.

It's not good for someone your age.

What about someone your age?

You're not talking about me.

If you want to know the truth, I'm still mourning for Jill.

You broke up with her six months ago.

Yeah, but...

Honey, that's over now.

You know, now you've got to just pull yourself together and begin again.

Honey, you've got to get out and taste life, cigarette, drink it up.

Ma, enough cooking dinner for us.

Mickey, there are a lot of wonderful girls out there.

I wish you'd call them women.

There are a lot of female people who would be funny to know, you know,

and they're just out there waiting for you.

You make it sound so predatory.

Mickey, you know your problem. You're too picky.

Honey, where is the rule that says that you have to marry every woman you go out with?

I mean, you don't have to be so serious, so intense about every relationship.

But I want to be serious.

But why? You're 22. You're in your prime. You're unattached.

I mean, why can't you just, like, cut loose, you know, and go have some fun?

I mean, take a deep breath and go risk it.

Yeah, yeah, like you.

I'm different. Anchovy paste? What do you buy as anchovy paste?

Don't change the subject. Look, you're an attractive, intelligent woman.

Why don't you just take a deep breath and...

Nick, Nick, please.

It's only been six years since your father died.

Mom, six years is a long time.

For me, it's not.

Yeah, but you're unattached. You're in your prime.

Why don't you just take a deep breath and go out there and risk it all?

Hey, hey, come on. I'm the mother. I give the advice.

I'm going to look ridiculous in California.

No, you're not. You're going to fit right in.

You sure?

Yeah.

If everybody had an ocean

Across the USA

Can everybody be so

Like California

You'd see them wearing their baggy

Or Archie Sanders too

A bushy, bushy bondage

Say what you want to say

You'll catch a super-bad man

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

It's all right.

And thanks for coming.

Hello.

Hi, I'm Lynn Hollander.

Lynn! I'm so happy to see you!

You're really good at that.

I should be. Let's see.

The last 20 years at the rate of 4 eggs a day, 52 weeks a year, that's too...

29,000 eggs.

Yeah, that's it.

Now I want all of you to try it with your partner.

Okay, go crazy.

Oh, Mick, that was really good. Oh, yeah.

I guess I still have a lot to learn.

Don't be too hard on yourself. We make great frosted roses.

Yeah, but you can't eat frosted roses three meals a day.

Yeah, I could.

Voila, cayettes.

Call it what you like. It's still liver and my kids won't touch it.

Hey, look out!

Are you comfortable?

Yeah, why?

You don't look comfortable.

I guess I'm just not used to doing business naked.

Why do you feel you have to cover yourself up like that?

Are you ashamed of your body?

No, on the contrary. I love my body.

It's given me many years of uninterrupted service.

Theo, I'd like to talk to you about the title.

I think fondling is too hard to hear.

You know?

And I think fondle or else is, I don't know, somehow threatening.

What about me?

You think I'm too threatening?

Um, if you don't mind, I'd like to test-market fondle with care.

Now, I'd like to make just a couple of points about style.

So would I.

You seem like a very tense person to me.

Oh, goodness.

Just feel those neck and shoulder muscles.

They're a mass of knots.

I hate to see somebody I like get into this kind of shape.

That's okay. Thanks a lot. I'm totally relaxed now.

You know, Lynn, you seem like a very special person to me.

It's not often you find a woman who has a brain and a body.

Really? I always thought it was kind of standard equipment.

What is this?

Ragu financier.

Don't be afraid, speak English.

Animal insides.

Oh, mother. Sue me, that's what it is.

My grandson here is gonna make some woman very happy someday.

She'll bring home the bacon and he can cook it for her.

Grandpa.

Bear with me, Nick.

I'm old-fashioned, I'm a dinosaur, I'm lumbering toward enlightenment.

Give me time.

So, young lady, I hear you're a student at Yale University.

That's right, Mr. Voss, I'm a sophomore.

How many more courses do we have to sit through?

Laura.

This is gourmet, it takes time.

Tell me, you must have a lot of boyfriends up in New Haven, am I right?

Sure, hundreds.

How much longer is this gonna take?

Laura.

Tell me, Laura, do they teach manners in college these days?

Sorry, Mr. Voss.

It's just, you know, it's exam time and I'd rather be back at school than sitting here stuffing my face.

What are you studying?

Grandpa, maybe she doesn't want to talk about what she's studying.

No, that's okay.

I'm majoring in English with a minor in psychology.

You speak English very good.

What are you gonna do when you leave school?

Haven't really thought about it.

Well, Nick here hasn't thought about it much either.

He majored in philosophy.

Grandpa.

I majored in philosophy too.

No kidding?

No.

Well, you both have so much in common.

Maybe you should open a philosophy shop together.

I'd like to open a gourmet shop.

Feed the body, not the mind.

So what did you major in, Mr. Voss?

We didn't have majors in my day.

We had pushing and heavy lifting.

I majored in the garment district.

I minored in ladies lingerie.

So if we combine the last part of the third chapter

with the middle section of chapter seven,

then we can treat the sensuality of elbows and knees

at the same time.

What do you think?

Which of them? Can I have a picture?

Sure.

This nice lady wants a picture.

How do I look?

Stunning.

I like this shirt.

Did Mrs. Fontana pick it out?

There is no Mrs. Fontana at the moment.

Oh, I see.

I'll have to ask her.

Mrs. Fontana at the moment.

I think she wants you to take a picture of us.

Oh, of course.

Now let's have a real Theo Fontana special.

I think this is what my mother intended in the first place.

What?

Fixing me up with you.

You're kidding.

Well, it's the only reason she can have for bringing me here.

I have no interest in food.

I'm almost a certifiable anorexic.

Thanks.

You're the only familiar name to me in this entire room.

That's because we're partners for cooking, your mom and me.

No, it's because she likes you.

You know how you can tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?

No.

Jokes are so fifties.

Do you think so?

I like a good joke now and then.

We really don't have anything in common, do we?

So I think what we better do is take a list of revisions...

Hey, look at this!

You recognize that fella?

Yeah.

Phil, we really have a lot of work to do.

I know.

Can't you relax for just a minute?

All right, I'll try.

Do you have a videotape machine?

Why?

I'll buy you a souvenir tape.

And then you can watch me back in New York.

Oh, you just reminded me, I have to buy Nicky a present.

Oh, a rag?

You like video games?

I don't know.

Maybe I'll get him a record or a radio that he can take to school with me.

What grade is he in?

Oh, he graduated college last year.

Phil?

Phil Fontana?

I want to thank you for your book.

Whee!

You truly changed my life.

Well, I thank you!

You know, my book says a human being can survive on a minimum of eight hugs a day.

I know.

But for optimal emotional health, I recommend no less than twelve.

Yeah, I know.

I only had one hug today.

How many do you have?

Uh, none, but I'm feeling pretty good.

Then, I need a second hug.

Now, what are you going to do about that?

Hey, lady, could you come back here a minute, please?

I was so nervous, I couldn't even eat anything.

Me either.

So what do you say to a cheeseburger?

Oh, that's a great idea.

Oh, that was fantastic.

I get so sick of good food.

Me too.

I've got to admit, when you're in the mood for it, there's nothing like a nice big greasy burger.

I know.

I don't think Laura is too crazy about me.

Oh, don't take it personally. You know, all she thinks about is school anyway.

Are you disappointed?

In what?

About Laura and me, that we didn't hit it off.

Oh, no, I just have to stop trying to fix her up.

You know, I didn't think it would work anyway.

Why not? Just because I didn't go to Yale?

No, no, mostly I assumed someone like you would have a girlfriend.

You did?

Well, you do, don't you?

Well, actually I did, but she's, um...

No, I don't have a girlfriend, not at the moment.

Oh, well, don't worry, you will.

I don't know, I'm kind of a romantic.

I've got very high standards and there just don't seem to be a lot of people out there.

I know, I know.

Well, do you have to go?

Yeah, I've got to catch the 11.35 train.

Where are you going, Scarsdale?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am going to Scarsdale.

What's so funny about that?

Well, you're just not exactly my idea of a Scarsdale matron, I guess.

Well, thanks, I guess.

So you live out in the suburbs with your two cars, two kids, a dog, a cat and a button-down husband.

Three out of four ain't bad.

No cat?

No husband.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't be, I'm not.

No, that's not so I am. I'm terribly sorry.

I understand, I know what it's like to lose someone.

How could you possibly understand loss at your age?

My father died six years ago.

Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.

Yeah, Shelley, I got a great idea. Let's stop apologizing to each other. What do you say?

Okay.

So when did your husband pass away?

You don't have to be so polite. I mean, he's not dead, at least not in the conventional sense.

We're divorced.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I don't get it. Why would anyone in his right mind want to divorce you?

You are romantic, aren't you?

Yeah. Sometimes I don't even believe what comes out of my mouth.

I mean, I just think you're such a beautiful...

Well, you're really attractive and very bright and...

Forget it. I don't seem to be able to say anything right.

Yes, yes, you do. Everything you say comes out right. You express yourself very well.

You think so?

Well, it just seems easier when I talk to you.

How about some more coffee?

I could, uh... I could catch the 12.05.

I hope you enjoy your last two weeks here.

And I know you're gonna be as much help to the other writers as you would to me.

Well, I hope you enjoy signing autographs in Detroit.

And Traverse City and Akron and Cleveland and Winnetka.

You know, I think we accomplished a lot in the last two weeks. I really do.

So do I.

I like your brains.

Okay.

I like the rest of you, too.

See you.

Could I have a hug?

Taste.

1

It, um...

It tastes very, very sweet.

How much sugar did she say to put in there?

A cup.

But that's impossible.

No, that's what she said. I'm positive.

I don't believe it. It doesn't taste right. Where's the book?

It must be in the other room.

I love your airplanes.

Look, as soon as I get a job, I plan to move out of here.

Yeah, you and Jason must have the same interior decorator.

Only, now, he's 11.

No, I remember 11. 11 is fun.

Yeah, it wasn't that long ago.

You know, the most amazing thing about 11 is it lasts until you're 15.

And then all of a sudden, you're just a severe case of galloping hormones.

And what happens then?

I don't know. It hasn't happened to me yet.

Here it is.

I haven't seen this book since I was in high school.

What is it?

Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Well, let me see that. You know, there's a poem in here I was thinking about when we were shopping.

Which one?

Oh, here it is. Do you know this one?

We were very tired. We were very merry.

We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.

And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear.

From a dozen of each, we had bought somewhere.

And the sky went wan, and the wind came cold.

And the sun rose, dripping a bucket full of gold.

And the sky went wan.

Isn't that great?

It's been a long time since anyone's read me poetry.

How'd you like it?

Was that a mistake?

No.

There's a lot of control here.

Is that alright with you?

Mom, I'm great, terrific.

Yeah, everything's fine.

How's your trip going?

Well, actually there is something new.

I'm seeing someone.

She's a student at the cooking school.

No, nothing's the matter.

I'd just rather talk about it when you get home.

No, Mom, there's nothing wrong with her.

She's an absolutely normal person.

She's perfect.

No, no, she's not married, she's divorced.

Mom, you don't want to know.

Okay, okay, she's...

42.

What?

42.

Well, actually, she's...

42!

I'm sorry. I know this is a very inappropriate response.

I'm gonna have to call you back when I get a hold of myself.

I'm sorry.

Well, how'd she take it?

Oh, great, fine. I don't think it fazed her at all.

She's a really accepting person.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Mom. I'm glad you called back.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I can't right now.

Well, yes, actually, she is.

Yeah, right here in my room.

Yeah.

Okay, Mom, I will.

She sends her regards.

Yeah, I bet she did.

All right, so she's a little upset.

Well, I don't see why she should be.

I get all worked up over a casual thing.

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

It's not a casual thing.

No, it isn't.

Anybody home?

Hey, Mom

Hey, you look great very mellow very LA

That's right, you must be tired

You must be too

So how did things finally work out with you and the sex maniac buddy I was gonna ask you the same thing mom

It was a good trip you didn't hate him doctor touched me

He turned out to be kind of a nice man

so uh

Time to go back there soon. You're trying to get rid of me

All right, I guess we better discuss this yeah, maybe we better. What would you like to start?

Well, let's start with what's her name. Her name is Shelly Shelly grant

And exactly what is going on with you and mrs. Grant she wants to meet you you're kidding no, I'm not why shouldn't she

Why would a woman who is dating a kid half her age?

I mean why on earth would you want to meet the mother maybe because I'm very proud of the mother

Maybe because I talk about the mother a lot maybe because she thinks you're a very interesting lady

And besides mom she read trust the body. She has a few questions. Don't try and be funny about this

This is not exactly a laugh riot to me. Why it's not a tragedy. I haven't got a fatal disease

I have a relationship. I thought you'd be pleased. I'm pleased you have a relationship. I am NOT pleased

It's with an old person. She is not an old person mom. She's just a mature adult

Great, maybe you can go to our rated films with her. Oh very funny

Honey, look, I would like to be able to celebrate this with you, but I'm afraid I can't why why can't you?

Because I find this whole thing just a little bit. I don't know unnatural

Do you really think that that is so incredibly prejudiced? I'm not prejudiced

I would be thrilled if you were involved with a third world person if she were your own age

I just can't believe this reaction from you. Why can't you find someone her own age?

Why does she have to pick on you wait a minute? What's wrong with me?

Don't you think that there just might be something special or interesting about me?

I mean is it so incredible that an adult woman might find me attractive. I didn't say incredible

I said unnatural. Oh boy. I guess I have a pretty clear picture of your opinion of me now, Nikki

Please don't bend this all out of shape look mom. I am meeting Shelly for dinner Tuesday night at 8 o'clock

I'd like you to be there

So? Is she pregnant?

Pop, be serious.

Then what are you worried about?

Why can't you ever take my side, Norman?

I do. I take your side when you're right. In this case, you're wrong. She happens to be a lovely lady.

If she's so lovely, why doesn't she find a man her own age?

Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe she prefers more youthful men. Happens all the time in French novels.

Well, this isn't a novel. This is my son.

No way Nicky could have started this thing, I'll tell you that right now. He's much too shy. She was the aggressor. This I know.

What do you mean, aggressor? You mean like Deborah Carr in Tea and Sympathy? Or Sylvia Kristall in Private Lessons?

You seem to be an expert on the subject.

I'm just trying to put this situation into its proper perspective. Lighten things up.

Well, it's not funny. This is a human life we're talking about.

Lillie, don't be so dramatic.

Why not? Huh? Besides, I'm not even sure what Nicky knows about sex.

You're not supposed to know. You're his mother. In any case, I think it's very nice that the two of them are going out together.

Nice? You think it's nice? Well, I think she ought to stay in her house in Scarsdale and be ashamed of herself instead of flouncing around in public with a teenager.

She must be terrific looking, huh? I mean, for Nicky to be so attracted to her, she must be sensational looking, even at 42.

42 is a very young woman.

42 is a young woman for somebody 74. For someone 22, it's not.

So tell me, Norman. Is she great looking or what?

She's very nice looking.

How old does she look?

She looks 19.

19.

I can't believe this is happening to me.

It's not happening to you. It's happening to Nick and you're not handling it well at all.

Well, what do you expect from me? I'm in shock.

In high school, he took home ec instead of woodworking. How can you be shocked?

Why do you have to do this?

What? Criticize you? I'm your father. I'm entitled.

No, Josh. Why do you put your body through this? You're a 74-year-old man.

Don't change the subject.

What? Where are you going?

Don't be so sensitive. Come on back here. Where are you going in such a hurry?

I gotta go home and change. I'm gonna meet her tonight.

Wait a minute, this isn't right.

She's gonna feel more comfortable next to you.

Are you nervous?

Of course not.

I am.

This is not going to work.

Why?

We should surround her. That way she'll, you know, feel more at home.

Oh, okay.

You're gonna like them, really.

You two have a lot in common.

Hi, I'm Shelly Grant. Nice to meet you.

Nick's told me so much about you.

I'm sorry I'm late. I had to pick supper for my son.

Oh, you have a little boy?

Yes, Jason. He's 11.

Oh, 11. I remember when Nick was 11.

It seems like it was only yesterday.

You have other children?

Mom, I already told you.

Laura. How old is she? She's 19.

She's at Yale, remember?

Nick tells me you have another son.

Steven.

He's a medical student?

Yeah, 25.

Oh, you must have been a child bride.

No.

So I understand you're divorced.

Mom.

How long have you been on the loose?

Dating?

Available?

Around?

Martin and I have been separated a year and three months.

He's an orthodontist. He fell in love with his dental hygienist.

She's 23 years old. They live together.

I got the house in Scarsdale as part of the settlement.

I'm going to have to sell it because I have no income.

I work in a bookstore part-time.

Jason lives at home and he spends every other weekend with his dad.

Does that cover it for you?

Good evening. I have some wonderful specials for you tonight.

I'll have the shank salad, please.

Dressing?

Oil and vinegar.

Yes. Madam?

Fettuccine Alfredo, please.

Sir.

And I'll have the rack of lamb. Rare.

And could we get another round of drinks, please?

Of course.

What would you like, Shelly?

Nothing for me, thanks. I'd like to be totally alert for this.

Mom?

Well, I'll have another scotch, please.

Better make it a double.

So do your children know about you and Nick?

No.

If you'll excuse me.

Where are you going?

Just going to the men's room. Be right back.

Why are you doing this?

Doing what?

I think you know what I'm talking about.

You mean, why am I involved with Nick?

Well, I'm not sure I would have phrased it quite that way.

Well, how would you put it?

What's going on here? Why are you playing with the emotions of a boy half your age?

If that's what you think I'm doing, you're mistaken.

You haven't answered my question.

I thought I had. Maybe I wasn't clear enough.

Why are you using Nick?

I am not using Nick. I don't play with people.

Well, you do. You are.

I mean, he can't be any more than a side dish for you.

I mean, you can't be serious about a 22-year-old boy.

I know, but I am.

Listen, I can't control my emotions here.

I mean, I didn't plan on getting involved with someone so young.

I didn't seduce him.

It just... it happened.

Oh, come on now. You're a grown-up person.

You know these things don't just happen.

Yes, but it did.

Look, I'm not like this. I don't do this kind of thing.

I mean, I'm surprised at myself.

I always follow the rules.

I don't let my kids throw their wrappers in the street.

I can't even jaywalk. Do you think I'm happy about this?

Then why are you doing it?

Because I'm happy.

I like Nick so much. He's so sweet and sensitive.

I was so lonely before and unhappy.

And he makes me feel...

so...

so safe.

And his feelings mean nothing to you?

What?

Well, because when you're finished with him, and you will be,

he's going to be devastated.

What kind of a person do you think I am?

I don't know. That's what I'm trying to find out.

Well, so am I.

Well, please just don't discover yourself at the expense of my son.

Your son can take care of himself.

Your son is an exceptional person.

And with all those wonderful qualities, he must have had a hell of an extraordinary mother.

Although I have yet to see much evidence of that.

How's everything going?

Thank you for driving us home.

He was on my way.

Uh, I'll be right up.

It was nice meeting you.

No matter what.

And...

I thought the food was good.

Boy, is she tough.

Look, I know her.

She's going to regret saying that the minute she gets in the elevator.

It'll keep her awake all night.

I hope so.

You were wonderful.

Oh, no I wasn't.

Other than finding my husband and his lover wrapped together in the dental chair.

This has been the worst night of my whole life.

Me too.

No, you don't count. You're only 22.

I haven't heard that before.

I haven't heard that often enough tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry.

She'll give it time.

She'll get used to it.

But will I?

Hey, you better.

Maybe this is a good preparation.

What is?

Well, what happened tonight with your mother.

We have to expect this, you know.

People are not going to like this, you and me.

I guess not.

Nick, can you take it?

I have a confession to make.

What?

Not only can I take it, but on some secret level I love it.

Because I know what makes them so angry is that they're so jealous of me.

Ow!

Want me to hold that for you over here?

Very funny.

I just had a call from L.A.

I'm getting some interesting feedback on you.

Theo?

Uh-huh.

He said that you are the best editor he's ever had.

Those were his exact words?

Uh-huh.

He also said he would like to work with you again, but he didn't want to apply any pressure.

Which is why he talked to me about it.

So I thought I'd apply a little pressure.

How would you like to head up our Los Angeles office?

Theo isn't the only author out there that feels this way about you.

Won't you consider moving out there, even on a trial basis?

No, it's impossible.

Why?

Well, because I like it here in New York.

I mean, I'm used to dirt and grime and paranoia and, uh, you know, my friends are here and...

Besides, I can't believe Nicky, he needs me.

How much could he need you? He's 22 years old.

All right, I need him. We're very close.

Lynn, I think this move would be good for you.

Face it, there's got to be more to life than mothering.

I like mothering.

I hate to say this, Lynn, but Nick could be a father before you stop being a mother.

He depends on me. We confide in each other.

All the more reason. Leave him alone.

Let him have the thrill of independence.

Let him discover the excitement of people his own age.

That's not what happens when I leave him alone.

Oh, I wish I had a cigarette.

Why? You don't smoke?

Because that's what they used to do in movies at a time like this.

What movies?

Oh, movies your mother and I used to watch.

Movies you don't know about. You know, I wish your mother didn't hate me so much.

She doesn't. She just hates the idea of you.

I think she might even kind of like you as a person.

That's ridiculous. She can't stand me.

No, she asked me to ask you to dinner.

She did?

Yeah. Next Monday. I think she's going to make pot roast.

Oh, be damned.

Well, this is one day I am not going to forget.

What's this?

Dad, that's nothing, Nick.

Let me see. Let me see.

What a doofus.

Nick, come on.

Well, you can't expect me to like him.

I guess not. I don't.

What did you see in him anyway?

He did great gum work.

Come on, really.

Well, you don't want to know about this.

Yes, I do.

Well, he was a lot taller than I was and he had very nice forearms.

Of course.

No, really. He made me feel...

He made me feel very secure.

Very wanted.

He was a sane, reliable man until he hit 40.

You know, you look 45.

Thanks a lot.

No, not now. Then.

Look at your hair and everything.

I felt 45.

I feel 20 now. Is that crazy?

Is he the only man you ever loved?

Yes.

Until now.

Nick?

Hey, Nick, have you seen my medium whisk?

What?

My medium whisk.

Oh, yeah, it's over here on the shelf.

What's it doing over there? I like it here with my frequently used utensils.

Well, Shelly and I were practicing Bouride.

In the kitchen?

It's a garlic fish soup.

Why don't you ever cook at her house?

Well, it's inconvenient for me to get there, and besides, Jason gets in the way.

Surely not in the way of cooking.

Mom?

Alright, alright. Just put things back where you found them, please.

So, uh, what are we having for dinner?

Pot roast.

Great, fantastic. She'll love your pot roast.

Who?

Shelly. I invited her to dinner.

She was in the city, so I thought it'd be a good idea.

You thought? You call that thought? You were a philosophy major. That's not thought, that's impulse.

Alright. I meant to ask you about it before, but I was afraid you'd say no.

So I just kept avoiding it until now.

Nick, why is she coming here? Is she a glutton for punishment or what?

No, I told her about your pot roast, and I guess she's just a glutton.

Did you tell her I was going to be here?

Of course.

Oh, Nick, I don't think this...

Look, Mom, we're going to have a good time. You'll see.

Yes, if you give it a chance, I think you two could really hit it off.

You do?

Well, I think you better lock up the knives.

The secret to my grandmother's recipe is what she put in stock.

Grandmother's secrets are always the best. What did she put in it?

Can't tell you, it's a secret.

I was only kidding.

She put two cups of red wine and a quarter cup of cognac, flamed, two strips of bacon, diced.

Oh, three cloves of garlic and a bay leaf. That's the standard bourgogne recipe, right Nick?

Yeah, it certainly sounds the same.

Yeah, but I haven't gotten to the secret part yet.

Oh, I'm sorry.

She also added a teaspoon of sugar, thickened with a tablespoon of butter, blended with a tablespoon of flour.

Bourgogne!

Right.

I'll put...

But it's amazing what a huge difference one teaspoon of sugar can make, isn't it?

Yeah.

Huge difference.

Have you ever tried putting the casserole in the oven? It takes a little longer, but it comes out really nice.

Yeah, Mom, that way it won't be overcooked.

You never said my pot roast was overcooked.

No, no, I didn't mean it was overcooked.

You love my pot roast.

Yes, I do.

Damn it.

Come on, Shelly, let's let Mom make the pot roast. She really does it very well.

I'm sorry, one cooking course and we're all due to your child.

How much longer will it be?

I should think you'd know.

I should think you'd know.

About an hour, right?

Right.

Well, maybe Shelly and I will just go into my room and read or something.

Come on.

The vegetables smell great.

The vegetables smell great.

And I haven't even put them in yet.

Yeah.

What am I doing? I'm acting like a total crazy person here.

You make me feel so young.

You make me feel so spring.

I don't need this, I really don't.

I mean, a person's home is her castle.

They have me right.

At the nerve of that woman flouncing in here,

seducing my son and criticizing my cooking.

No, I will not have them flaunt their wanton sexuality in my face.

Not in my lens, my model airplanes.

I will not have this in my house.

What is that?

Jay's forgot to open his...

It's a horrible video game.

Well, I won't have it in my house.

That's ridiculous, there.

Because I can't.

Of course I've never been to Battle Creek.

I've never even seen a cereal factory.

No.

Well, because, I mean, even if I could, I couldn't.

This weekend is my first birthday party.

What do you think? It's 50th.

Okay.

Right.

All right, bye.

Oh, Stephen! Stephen!

Where's Nancy?

She wanted to get a little shopping in while I dropped the bags off at the apartment.

She went directly from Baggage Claim to Bloomingdale's?

Well, we don't get to New York all that often.

Oh, I know. Boy, do I know.

Listen, they let you have hair like this in medical school?

Don't start.

I'm not starting. Who's starting?

I'm so glad they're by family back together again.

So, how's Nicky doing?

How much time have you got?

Why?

Well, it's not an easy question to answer.

But, uh, let me put it as politely and succinctly as I can.

He's having an affair with a woman twice his age.

Nicky? You're putting me on.

Would I kid about something like that?

Normally, yes.

Well, there's nothing normal about this situation.

Honey, will you talk to him for me?

Hi, Mrs. Hollander.

We're actually here.

Hello, sweetheart.

You look fabulous, my sweetest man.

I missed you.

The stores here are a madhouse, and I had the rudest cab driver.

But you know, it's still the most exciting city in the world.

I got a great present for Grandpa Norman.

And I picked up a little bread and butter gift for you, too.

Oh, Nancy, you shouldn't have done that.

Oh, thank you, honey.

Oh, they're, uh, grape shears.

Pardon?

For cutting grapes off the stem.

Oh, yes, they're...

I don't know how I'd live without them.

Isn't she something?

Where did I go wrong?

You didn't.

You've got one son who's a doctor, the other's a French chef.

As long as they're happy, right?

It's not their careers I'm worried about, it's their love lives.

Oh, that.

Steve's going with a Barbie doll.

The other one's gonna be a grandmother before Nick's 30 years old.

It could be worse.

Oh, yeah? I don't see how.

Did you ever see a Barbie doll who was a grandmother?

Don't you ever take anything seriously?

Why should I? It's only life.

Here, come. Sit.

You promise you won't criticize?

I never criticize. I merely observe.

Nancy gave me a present.

A pair of grape shears.

What are grape shears?

It's an implement for separating grapes from their stems.

At least I'll say this for Shelly. She's down to earth.

There you go.

Oh, come on. I'm not such an ogre.

She's just not what I had in mind for Nick, that's all.

What did you have in mind? A cheerleader, maybe?

Of course not.

But I wanted an infant for a grandchild, not a 19-year-old.

I wanted somebody who would discover life with Nick,

not someone who's been around the block a few times.

It's perfectly understandable. But what about for yourself?

I just told you.

No, you didn't. You told me what you expected for Nick.

You never once mentioned what you expected for yourself.

You promised not to criticize me.

I'm not a criticism. That's just a question.

I want to be myself.

I guess I want things to be the way they were before.

Before Shelly came along?

No, before that even.

When I had a husband.

I want David back.

I get so tired of doing everything by myself, you know?

I'm not very good at it.

I mean, I give terrible advice and I behave very badly in a crisis.

I want to be a family again.

I can understand that.

I mean, none of this would have happened if Nick had a father.

Wrong. None of this would have happened if he hadn't.

Well, I hope you're happy. Shelly's accepted your invitation.

She and her kids are going to come to your party.

Oh, great. Did you tell them to bring me presents?

Sure, it's swell for you. Meantime, I don't know if I'm going to make it through your birthday.

You think you've got a problem? I don't know if I'm going to make it to my birthday.

Why is everything a joke with you?

Oh, Linnie, sweetheart, why can't you laugh at yourself anymore?

Now that's a criticism.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

What time is it?

Get back to bed, honey. It's only noon.

Where is everybody?

Well, Nancy went to Elizabeth Arden, and Nicky went shopping for me.

Mwah!

You know how great it is to be together?

I stand in this kitchen and I think of all the fun we used to have.

It's just so great to be here with you and Nick.

Oh, sweetie, I wish you didn't live so far away.

Why can't you go to school?

Hey, Mom.

I know.

I know.

I love having you here, too.

There's only one thing wrong with it.

It reminds me of how much I miss you when you go back.

Hey.

Up so soon?

Shorty.

You know, I'm really proud of you, Nick.

Why?

Your face has really cleared up.

Get out.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.

Listen, Mom.

About Grandpa's birthday, there's just one thing.

What?

Kids.

They don't know about us.

They just think we're friends.

Perfect.

It looks gorgeous, simply gorgeous.

Thank you.

I just wanted to tell you, Lynn,

I think you're taking this whole thing very well.

You know, the hanky-panky between you-know-who and you-know-who.

How did you find out about it, Nancy?

My lips are sealed.

Wild horses couldn't drag it out of my mouth.

Norman, I made sure everything was perfect out there.

Now, what can I do to get things organized in here?

The apartment looks very festive.

You had your drapes cleaned.

Oh, you don't miss a thing, Uncle Louie.

It's so nice having the family together again.

I only wish David were here.

Yes, these occasions always remind me of David, too.

You're such a lovely woman.

You look like a schoolgirl.

Ah, Uncle Louie.

Who would believe how old you are?

Grapes, anyone?

No, thank you.

Oh, not for me.

Is that all we're having, grapes?

Oh, no, we'll eat just as soon as the rest of the guests arrive.

You mean Nick's Tootsie with our children?

That must be her now.

This I can't wait to see.

Hi, I'm Barbara Slater.

I'm sorry, I...

She's a very advanced 42.

Yo, Babsie!

Come on in, come on in.

This is my date.

Why should Nick be the only one?

Let's go get a drink.

Have a seat now. Come in.

Mom.

I'm very nervous. I don't know why. I mean, there's nothing to be nervous about.

After all, nobody knows about us but you, right?

Grapes, anyone?

Aunt Rose, you came.

Go get up.

Are you married yet?

Not yet, Aunt Rose.

Any prospects?

Talk to her, honey.

Hello there.

Oh, hello, David. Don't shout.

I'm not David. I'm Steven, David's son.

Oh, where's David?

He died six years ago.

Well, nobody told me.

I'll get it. I'll get it.

So, Steven, are you married yet?

Oh, come on in. This must be Jason.

Close the door, Laura.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Everyone, an announcement. This is my Shelly.

That's 42?

Hey, Nick, my main man!

Hey, Jason.

Thank you.

Who is that person?

That Shelly.

I didn't know you had a daughter.

Jason, a pair of socks that match. Thank you.

Isn't he the limit?

Which do they open next?

This one.

Hey, I hear you live in Starsdale.

Yes.

So, is this your first divorce?

From Steve and Nancy, an electric swizzle stick.

Look at that.

I can't believe it.

Batteries included.

Thank you.

That's new.

Norman tells me you live in Starsdale.

Yes.

You and me, just a couple of women on the loose, huh?

Yes, I live in Starsdale.

Okay.

Are you married yet?

Excuse me.

What's the matter?

I can't stand it.

Come on, sit down.

I feel as though they're looking at us under a microscope.

They are.

I'm so tired of telling stories and pretending, making up things for Jason.

But we're just good friends.

Yes, well maybe it's just too much.

Maybe it's too difficult.

Maybe they're right.

What in the hell are we doing, Nate?

Wait a minute.

Just a second.

Not them.

You.

What are you feeling?

Not other people.

What do you want?

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

I want to be with you.

Not other people.

What do you want?

I want you.

Good.

That's the right answer.

Now come on, let's go back out there and pretend we're just friends.

Wait a minute.

I've got a better idea.

We'll stay in here for a while and give them something to really talk about.

You seem to be a woman of wide taste.

If you ever want to balance things out with an older man, I'll be the one to do it.

I'm not going to let you.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

You're going to leave me alone?

You're going to leave me alone?

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

I'm going to leave you alone.

We're going to drop Laura at the train station.

I'm going to take Jason and Shelly home.

Okay.

It was a memorable dinner.

Thanks for having us.

You're welcome.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye guys!

Anybody home?

In here, honey.

Oh, hi, Nick.

Hey, Jace.

Come outside. I want to show you something.

What about a hello?

Hi, Mom.

Hi.

Come on, Nick.

Can I come too?

No, this is men's stuff. Come on, Nick.

It's men's stuff.

Yeah.

Keep an eye on the house.

Why? What are you doing?

I'm gonna show you something.

I think my mom has a boyfriend.

Where'd you get this?

I found it.

What do you mean you found it?

Well, it was tucked in my mom's notebook for her cooking class.

Yeah?

I didn't steal it.

She asked me to get the notebook for her, and it fell out.

But you read it?

Well, sure, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

I'm pretty mushy, huh?

She and him sneak around a lot.

It's very secret.

Sure.

They can't get married, though.

Why not?

Because someday my dad's coming back.

He's the only one my mom has sex with.

You can only have real sex when you're married.

I see.

My mom had real sex twice.

Once to get me in, and once for Laura.

Hey, you want to see my rat skeleton?

I hate goodbyes.

We'll be back.

Yeah, yeah, in six months.

Well, I can't speak for Stephen, but I know I'll be back before then.

I just can't get enough of this wild, wonderful town.

I'll miss you, Barbara and Nancy.

Me too.

I love you, Mom.

Okay.

You want to come downstairs with us?

No, I can't stand goodbyes.

Andiamo.

Bye.

Thank you.

Bye.

Talk to him for me, will you?

I'll do what I can.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

So, are you two really serious?

Why are we discussing this now?

Do you love Shelly?

Yes, but most of all she's my very, very good friend.

Jack, excuse me. Thank you.

Honey, will you see if you can find us a cab? There's something I want to say to Nick.

Sure, honey.

Okay, Steve, go ahead. I can take it.

I was at college when Dad died, and you were the little man of the house.

You had to take care of Mom, and you did a great job.

Yeah, but what if I'm not...

No, I'm not finished.

Well, you're grown up now, and you don't have to be the good little boy anymore.

You're not her husband. You don't have to take care of her.

Steve, I don't exactly...

Because she's not your responsibility.

We can love her, but we don't belong to her.

We have to lead our own lives now.

Thanks.

There's something else I want to say to you.

What?

Stay away from chocolate and fried foods, or your face is going to look like a pizza again.

Good news, honey. I found the only clean taxi cab in all of New York City.

Great!

Goodbye, Nicky.

Bye, Nancy.

So long.

Bye, pal.

Honey, is Sax on the way to the airport?

I don't think so.

Tell me, Theo, when did you first get interested in the subject of sex?

I first became interested in the subject when I was about three years old.

I'm sorry. Seriously.

I was in graduate school, and I discovered that I was as interested in people's souls as I was in their bodies.

Moving from souls to sex, which is your field, could you give us a kind of general statement of your philosophy on the subject?

Sex is the most talked about and the least understood subject around.

You see, the problem is people are just afraid...

Who is it? Is that him? Dr. Erotica, the infamous Theo Fontaine?

They're afraid that they might seem selfish or inappropriate or maybe even not normal.

Oh, please. Can you believe that people actually listen to this?

Spare me video psychology. I mean, give me a break.

Nicholas! Do me a favor, will you?

What?

Shut up.

But that is a risk that you just have to take.

Because if you don't, you might as well live all alone.

Because you certainly gotta be alone.

Why can't we leave Wednesday? That way we'll be alone for four days. Together.

Yeah, well, I have to make some arrangements for Jason.

Can't he stay with his dad?

And practice flossing for four days?

Why not? You never outgrow your need for teeth.

Shelley Grant. Hi!

Hello, Ruth.

You look sensational. You must be doing something right.

Thanks.

It's funny, but I was talking to Barbara the other day and she said you were coming into New York for some kind of class or something?

Yes, I'm taking a cooking class.

What a great idea. What a neat way to get out and meet people.

So, how are the kids? Jason and...

Laura, Laura, they're fine.

My sources tell me that disenchantment has begun to set in with the tooth man and his little nursey.

Yeah, Ruth, listen, I've gotta go now. I'll call you later, okay? We'll have lunch or something.

Yes, let's have lunch!

Nick, Nick, listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

How could you do that? How could you treat me like that? She thought I worked at the food stand.

I didn't know what I was saying.

Why didn't you introduce us?

I don't know.

Yes, you do. You're embarrassed about me, Shelley.

I'm not embarrassed. I'm proud of you.

Then why?

I'm very proud of you.

Why?

Because I don't know what to call you.

Try Nick. You know, you were right when you said nobody was going to like this, us together.

And you know what? You're one of them.

Oh, Nick, don't do this.

Look, I don't want to be seen with somebody who feels embarrassed about being seen with me.

Well, you're right. You're right. You should be walking away from me. I'd walk away from you.

I hate myself. Everything I did was wrong.

Please, listen to me. I apologize. I'll never do it again.

I'll introduce you to everybody I meet.

Little baby, this is Nick Hollander.

It's very nice to meet you, little baby. You're nuts.

This is Nick Hollander. I'd like you to meet Nick Hollander.

You can wish me well.

This is fantastic.

It should be. You made it.

Hehe, you're it.

Do you think this would taste as good if I weren't in love?

I'm the wrong person to ask about that.

Hi.

Is that the voice of your mother?

It certainly sounds like her.

You said she wouldn't be here.

That's what she told me.

Why does this make me feel like a guilty teenager?

Look, we have nothing to feel guilty about. We're two adults here, okay?

Let me handle this situation.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Mom.

What are you doing here?

I live here.

But you said you were, you know, going to a play.

Yes, a terrible play as it turns out. We left at intermission.

Well, Shelly and I, we were just...

We didn't know you were going to get home so...

You should have told her we were going to be here.

I did tell her.

You told me she was coming over to cook.

You didn't tell me I was going to find you sitting here undressed and naked.

Okay, we're sorry.

And maybe Shelly and I should just, you know, go to my room and watch TV or something.

I'm impressed, Nick. You really know how to deal with your mother.

Shelly, let me handle this.

Why do you have to apologize? Just talk to her like you're an adult.

Hey, wait a minute. Where do you come off criticizing him like that?

Are you kidding? I can criticize him any time I feel like it.

No, you can't. I can. He's my son.

He's your son. That doesn't entitle you to dictate to him.

I will decide whether or not I will dictate to my son.

And that's not the point.

I would like to think that I'm involved with a mature person.

Shelly, I'm sure you expect someone his age to be mature enough not to jump every time his mother says jump.

I never say jump.

Oh, you do in a thousand ways almost all the time.

Stop it, both of you. What is it with you two? Am I invisible or something?

Look, Shelly, I'm your lover. And, Mom, I'm your son.

Yes, and no son should ever be forced to choose between his mother and his mistress.

Mistress? I am not his mistress.

I said stop it.

I am so tired of this thing.

Every night I go to sleep and every morning I wake up thinking about this.

And I just keep coming up with the same question.

What did I do wrong? I fell in love.

Now, what is so wrong with that, huh?

Come on, Mom, tell me. What is it?

What is making you so crazy all the time?

I think you know.

Yes, you're damn right I do.

I have a lover. I'm in love with her.

And you can't stand it because you're jealous.

I am not. And you're bending this all out of shape.

This is not about you and me.

It's about you and her and this whole unnatural relationship.

No, what's unnatural is me worrying about you and having to answer to you.

Watching to see if everything's okay.

Worrying all the time about what you think.

What I have is an unnatural relationship with you.

That's not true. We have...

Well, it's over. And I am not going to be your little boy anymore.

And you don't have to let go of me. I'll let go of the both of us.

Nick! Nick!

Are you all right?

No, I'm not.

I shouldn't have burst in on you two.

I should have called first.

It is your house.

Well, it is.

And I'm used to sharing it with Nicky.

I never thought he'd leave.

He'll be back. He loves you.

Yeah, he'll probably want to live with me forever.

It'll be nice.

I'll be in my 80s, he'll be in his 50s.

What makes you think you'll be alone when you're 80?

Well, I've been alone since my husband died. I'm alone now.

It's a pretty good bet I'll be alone in the future.

Don't sell yourself short. You're a very attractive lady.

For your age. Why don't you finish the sentence?

Boy, do you have trouble accepting a compliment.

Well, it's not a problem. I run into that often.

Ooh, defensive, too.

All right, all right. I am being defensive.

It's because I'm over 40.

Well, so am I.

Yeah, but I'm way over 40.

And I'm a involuntary single person.

Me, too.

Only my husband walked out on me.

You know, it took me a year before I could leave the house.

I don't even want to go out anymore.

I don't know how to date.

I don't even have the energy to flirt.

I was with David for 23 years.

I don't want to share my bathroom with a stranger.

I don't want somebody I don't know in there.

I know, I know you get used to living alone.

And first it's awful and you feel lonely and then you can't imagine it any other way.

At this point, can you even dream of picking up anyone else's clothes off the floor?

It's not my problem. My problem is taking off mine.

You're crazy. You're a very sensual woman.

You think so, huh?

No, I mean that. I mean that completely objectively.

I would say that even if I were a complete stranger, I really would.

Okay, let's say hypothetically that you were going to fix me up on a blind date or something.

Yeah. How would you describe me?

See, it's not so easy, is it?

No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Give me a second.

I'd say you were exotic.

Yeah, yeah.

And unique.

And a very, very earthy woman.

Sexy, would you say? Sexy.

Sexy, yes. I'd say you were very sexy.

No, no. I would have come up with it in the next moment.

I'd have come up with four or five adjectives.

You know, Shelly, I might really like you.

If you weren't using my son.

I've got a surprise for you.

I'm not the only one who's using him. You're using him, too.

You use him for advice. You use him for protection.

You use him for company, entertainment.

Let's face it. You use him as the man in your life.

Shelly, of all the people in the world, I really don't need a lecture from you.

I think you better go.

How's Nicky?

He's moved out.

He's staying with his friend from high school, Benji Harris.

Did I ever meet this Harris kid?

Norman, is that important?

I have just told you that my only remaining son has walked out on me.

Great. I'm glad to hear it. It's about time.

Damn it. Aren't you ever going to take my side?

I will. The moment I think you're in the right, I promise.

Is he still seeing the pretty one? Shelly?

Yeah, yeah. And guess what? I like her. I don't want to, but I do.

Well, she's a very nice lady.

She is a nice lady. Not right for my son, but she's a nice lady.

Why isn't walking briskly enough? Why do you have to do this to your body?

I've got the body of a 67-year-old. I'm in my prime.

I like how you are. I am.

You're the typical type, eh? High pressure, high risk case.

You're the one who should be respecting your own body.

I'll tell you this, Norman Voss.

I am sick and tired of these discussions,

in which we find some remotely possible flaw of yours,

and it turns into a criticism of me.

I've really had... Norman?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Help! Help!

Thanks a lot, Dad.

Bye, Dad.

Wait

What

Jason uh Nick was just going your daddy brought you home early

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I'm sorry. It's over.

Show it.

Lindy, it's Mrs. Hollander again. Has Nick shown up?

Okay, well, when he does, I can still be reached at that number.

Thanks, Benji. I will.

I'm sorry, I don't think so.

I'm sorry, I don't think so.

Hi, this is Shelly Grant. I'm not in...

Sorry I yelled at you in the park.

I gave you this heart attack, didn't I?

Don't take so much credit.

Life gave me this heart attack.

How do you feel?

How does it look like I feel?

Is Nicky coming over?

I can't find him.

Probably shacked up somewhere with his old lady.

Old lady?

That's funny, Lynn.

Norman, at last, a compliment.

Oh, Lynn.

Don't you know I think you're a wonderful person?

But I do.

I wouldn't waste my criticism if I didn't.

Do you worry about being alone, Lynn?

Do you worry about the future?

Come on, Bob, you don't have to talk like this.

Condition's not that serious.

Not me.

Nick.

You're gonna have to let go of him, you know that, don't you?

And not for his sake, either.

For yours.

Norman.

He gets so old, doesn't he?

Will you tell me that?

It just goes so damn fast.

Get selfish with your time, sweetheart.

Will you promise me that?

Bob!

Bob!

Nurse!

Nurse, increase the oxygen, please.

Isn't he there yet?

When he comes, would you tell him to come right here?

Thank you.

Excuse me, do you have a Norman Voss here?

Mom, where have you been? I called everywhere I could think of. I couldn't find you anywhere.

It's all right. He's resting. I think he's going to be okay.

He loves you so much, Nicky.

Hi, Sheldon.

Hi, babe.

That's mine.

Yeah, okay.

How's Norman?

He's fine. He and Barbara are planning on honeymooning in Las Vegas.

I thought he was, uh, recovered from a heart attack.

You tell him. To Norman.

To Norman.

Why did you ask me here?

Because I missed you.

Well, just because you broke my son's heart, there's no reason we can't be friends.

Well, you know it had to end eventually.

Eventually. But why now?

I have to think about the future. It just, it couldn't work.

But what about the present?

What is wrong? How, how long have you been sitting here drinking?

Why do you ask?

Because I don't believe this is coming to an end.

Because I don't believe this is coming from you.

Actually, it's coming from Norman.

From what happened to Norman.

I mean, you spend time in a hospital with someone that you love and, um,

I don't know, it kind of wakes you up to what's important.

I'm a newly divorced woman.

Scared to death to be out here on her own.

And when I met Nick, I needed him.

And he was funny and bright and sensitive and we had a million things in common.

Wow, sounds like you should have broken up a long time ago.

And you were shy and experienced.

Well, I'm still shy.

Well, maybe I was the right teacher for you.

I could hide from the world with him. He made me feel secure.

Wonderful.

Am I crazy? I mean, aren't these all reasons why you should stay together?

Shelly, you and I are both mature adult women.

I mean, apart from Nick, that's the main thing we have in common, right?

You do have a way of putting things.

And as mature human beings, you and I both know that the right people don't come along every day or even every week.

Sometimes not for decades.

So, if someone right does come along, I mean, that's very special.

Don't you think it's something you ought to hold on to?

Am I making myself clear?

Yes.

So, do you think that you and Nick could afford to be good to each other and enjoy each other for another month?

Possibly.

Could you afford another six months?

Maybe.

Could you afford another year?

Can you afford not to?

First of all, he'd never forgive me.

I wouldn't bet on it.

You're gonna look great in California.

You think so, huh?

Thanks a lot.

I still think we should take you to the airport.

Nobody takes anybody to the airport in New York.

Besides the distracting stuff.

It's gonna be very strange without you here.

Listen, it was gonna be strange around here with me.

You know, you don't have to go through with this.

Honey, I started going steady with your father when I was in high school.

I married him when I was in my junior year of college.

I was with him all my adult life until he died.

Then I was with you.

Now it's time for me to be on my own.

I'll miss you, Mom.

I'll miss you too, honey.

Me too, by the way.

And remember, I'm not losing a son, I'm gaining a sister.