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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,929 Hey Rick. I was wondering if you could help me out 2 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:14,389 with a bit of a rake situation. 3 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,807 A “rake situation”? 4 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,685 Long story short, I asked Gene if he borrowed my rake 5 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,312 and he said “no” like Like that, like, too fast. 6 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,732 Like faster than someone should know they don’t have my rake. 7 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,317 I think he has my rake and I... 8 00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,611 I’m not going to murder Gene. 9 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:31,322 Jerry, thank you for bringing me into The Rake Situation. 10 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,741 I’ve done all I can, I’m out. 11 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:36,244 No surprise there. All that brain, and you just waste it. 12 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,328 Hold up. 13 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,456 I waste my brain. 14 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,125 Rick, obviously you were born smarter than me, 15 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,085 - but if I had your brain... - If you had my... 16 00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,921 I am so sick of this "born smart" shit. 17 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,131 Are you gonna kill me? 18 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,383 I was born crying and pissing myself just like you. 19 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,969 Then I become the smartest man in the universe and do I get credit? 20 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,513 No, I get to “check my brain privilege.” 21 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:56,931 So we’re swapping bodies? 22 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,683 No. That would be Freaky Friday 23 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,393 which is the ceiling of your grasp of consciousness. 24 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:03,313 The brain is part of the body, Jerry, it’s hardware. 25 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:07,317 I’m gonna put my mind in your brain. And your mind in my brain. 26 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,069 Then we’ll see the real definition of “waste”, Jerry. 27 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,989 Or, you know, admit genius isn't random and your failures are your own. 28 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,866 - Oh, not doing that. - Thought as much. 29 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,300 ... oh furck, oh grod... 30 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,011 Wait, no! 31 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,767 Okay, hold on, hold on. 32 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:48,024 Alright, Jerry, you can do this. 33 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,451 Medical Emergency Detected. 34 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,298 There goes my Thursday. 35 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,838 {\an8}I’m telling you man, you’re making a big mistake here. 36 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,717 {\an8}Ha. Bigger mistake than being a criminal? I'm mistake-proof. 37 00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:01,264 {\an8}Sorry to bother, boss, I caught this punk selling crystals on our turf... 38 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:06,185 {\an8}You big precious moron, do you know who the fuck, this is Morty! 39 00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,771 {\an8}The kid who hangs with Rick Sanchez! 40 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,899 {\an8}- Tried to warn you, man. - Rick Sanchez? 41 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,108 {\an8}Underworld legend? 42 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:14,152 {\an8}Chaotic neutral sci-fi guy? Huh? 43 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,029 {\an8}Christ, he's gonna turn me into a sandwich. 44 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,740 {\an8}- What is this guy, fucking new? - Think he was a Dylan rec, boss. 45 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,950 {\an8}Well, check those fucking references next time. 46 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:24,746 {\an8}Whatever this kid wants to do in our territory is his business. Fuck. 47 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,498 {\an8}Fuck! Call my wife, we gotta prep go-bags three through six. 48 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,876 {\an8}Hey pal. You good? You whole? 49 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,461 {\an8}You guys have milkshakes? 50 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,962 {\an8}We will learn what they are and get you one. 51 00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:43,514 {\an8}What a turn. Lucky I’m such a genius your garage can thwart death. 52 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,808 {\an8}I’m the genius and it’s your garage, idiot. 53 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:48,102 {\an8}Hey, what the fuck did you do to my body? 54 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:52,607 {\an8}Your body, Jerry, your mind did that to my body using my brain. 55 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:56,861 {\an8}Jerry, my mind was in this brain, in your body. Pretty easy to follow. 56 00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,156 {\an8}- It shuffled us. - Shuffled you maybe. 57 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,492 {\an8}- I'm tracking everything. - Garage? Fix this. 58 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,745 {\an8}-Situation was fixed. - You call this fixed? 59 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:06,996 {\an8}- This guy thinks he’s me. - This guy thinks he’s me. 60 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,374 {\an8}Let’s see you fix it then, asshole. 61 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,251 {\an8}I fucking will. I got my lab right here, gimme three hours. 62 00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:15,129 {\an8}Sure yeah, like I’d ever trust you to open my skull. 63 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,590 {\an8}I’ll fix it, I just need to scan for... 64 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:22,011 {\an8}Like I’d trust Your fritzing R2D2 ass, you’ll just kill me on purpose. 65 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,680 {\an8}So that’s where my paranoia went. 66 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,766 {\an8}Rick speaking, who is this? 67 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:31,604 {\an8}Rick! It's Chuxly. From Crimetown. We’ve met five or ten times, listen, 68 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,399 {\an8}small misunderstanding, one of my guys saw your buddy Morty 69 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,777 {\an8}running an errand and he brought him in which I told him not to do. 70 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,029 {\an8}but I’ve got Morty and he is fine. 71 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,448 {\an8}Wait, what? Aren’t you describing kidnapping? 72 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:43,741 {\an8}- Morty’s kidnapped? - No no no! 73 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,786 {\an8}Give me that, Jerry. Hello? Hello? This is Rick Sanchez, 74 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,163 {\an8}I’m using my son-in-law’s vocal cords because I’m amazing, 75 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:52,333 {\an8}if you touch my grandson I’m gonna... get off me! 76 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,543 ...hello? 77 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,044 Jerry stop! You’re fucking this up! 78 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:58,214 You’re only calling me Jerry because you’re so stupid you think it’s hurtful, 79 00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,465 which it is! 80 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,591 Tell me where you are. 81 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,344 No! You tell then where they are, like Liam Neeson. 82 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:06,764 Do not pretend to explain Liam Neeson to me, Sir. 83 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,391 - Hey! Jerry! - Don’t touch me there! 84 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,352 - We know where you are. - We know where you are. 85 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,314 - My milkshake is empty! - Okay! 86 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:16,899 That was so embarrassing, 87 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:19,694 do you have any clue what a pain it is to cultivate a mystique? 88 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:23,740 Yeah, I do, it’s my mystique and you’re just cultivating Jerry's shame. 89 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,158 - What is with my hair? - Don’t! 90 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,410 - Leave it! - Why do you care about hair, nerd? 91 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,413 Be quiet for a second, I need to think through all these chunks of moron. 92 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,458 Okay. You stay here, touch nothing, I’ll get Morty. 93 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:37,170 Ha! I’m not letting you get Morty killed and our brains blown out twice. 94 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,589 Car, electrocute Jerry if he gets in the front seat. 95 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,091 Car, engage castration protocol right now. 96 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:45,845 Figure out how to drive me together or I will have to kill you both. 97 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,225 What are we, a 1930s comedy act, stop swerving! 98 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,935 - You’re swerving! - Alright, when we get there, 99 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,312 let me do the talking. 100 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:57,273 Yeah, I know, because you look the most like us, I’m not stupid. 101 00:05:57,273 --> 00:06:00,276 - I beg to differ. - Screw you, half Jerry! 102 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,778 - You’re a half Jerry! - You’re a half Jerry! 103 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,449 Looks like he’s inbound, boss. 104 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,785 Okay, he is in a bad mood 105 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,954 so we are kissing ass until our lips are asscolored. 106 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,624 Straighten that pillow! He might hate crooked pillows! I don’t know! 107 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,712 Nice parking job, assdick, you scratched my car. 108 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:24,300 Rick! And... and uh, Rick’s friend! 109 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,219 This is my... assassin. 110 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,429 Deadliest man in the galaxy and he’s gay. 111 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,181 - Why am I gay? - Woah! Hey! 112 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,307 Whoa. Why aren’t you? 113 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,184 Sorry about that. Sorry. Sorry. 114 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,479 Well, I got Morty right here, happy as a milkshake. 115 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,982 And since we interrupted your day, Morty’s got ten thousand croutons, 116 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,943 that’s slang for crystals, Morty, show him. 117 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,654 - We know what croutons are. - Why is dad here? 118 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,823 Your dad’s a gay assassin? 119 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,159 So cool and ordinary, sorry, ssorry. 120 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:53,496 I appreciate you trying to make good but you cost me ten times that much. 121 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,332 It doesn’t matter, Rick. The guy’s already kissing your ass. 122 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,292 It’s the ass kissers you have to keep in line. 123 00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:00,169 When they sense weakness, they move on you. 124 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,337 What are we, Walter White? 125 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:04,006 Who cares if a mid-tier crime dork “moves” on us... 126 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,300 Thank you for the crystals. Morty, get in the car. 127 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,761 Actually, Morty, why don’t you leave those crystals here... 128 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,721 since it’s such an insulting amount. 129 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:11,806 There it is. 130 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,933 Now he’s thinking, maybe I can kill god. 131 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,520 Yeah because god doesn’t haggle for ten thousand fucking croutons, 132 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,313 look, here’s the deal, I’m Rick, 133 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,899 That’s my son-in-law, and we’re all a little gay. 134 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:23,067 - Yeah. - It’s a spectrum. 135 00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:25,736 Morty, it’s me Rick, get in the car. 136 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,489 Don’t get in the car, Morty. And put the briefcase down. 137 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,032 Morty, get in the car twice, 138 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:33,119 once for each five additional briefcases this asshole owes us! 139 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,121 Stop doing this terrible impression of me! 140 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,874 Look, at this point we’re bad gangsters if we don’t roll the dice. 141 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,292 Everybody start killing them! 142 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,503 What have you two assholes done? 143 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,255 It’s okay, it’s a nice restaurantwoah! 144 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,299 Shit! Crime restaurant! 145 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,970 Oh my god! Am I really about to die because you botched a Freaky Friday? 146 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,054 - Yes. - Whoever you are, 147 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,056 you’re in Rick’s body, use your implants. 148 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,892 I’m trying, half my brain is the guy that 149 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,935 still needs your mom to use the electric wine opener. 150 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,605 Hang on, I think I got it. 151 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,400 Right, from my conehead phase. 152 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,527 - Awesome fucking movie. - Incredible cast. 153 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:09,405 Goddamn it! I’m shooting my way back to the car. 154 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:13,201 Ugh, way to go! Now my son and grandson hates us! 155 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,952 He’s my son and grandson too! 156 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,789 We do share an agenda in that sense. 157 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,083 Let’s hope you share my aim. 158 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:27,757 Fall is here, hear the yell Back to school ring the bell 159 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:33,012 Brand new shoes, walking blues Climb the fence, books and pens 160 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,265 I can tell that we are gonna be friends 161 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:37,391 Hey, get up here! 162 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,060 Said the throat to the hand. 163 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,647 You might feel a pinch and maybe a rocket. 164 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,232 You’ll have to aim. Hop on. 165 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:50,529 I can tell that we are gonna be friends 166 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:55,826 I can tell that we are gonna be friends 167 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,622 Ahaha! You coneheaded son of a bitch! Can’t believe that worked! 168 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,249 I wish they did that in the movie! 169 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,292 Jesus fucking christ. 170 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,378 Huh, should’ve done something with my hands. 171 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,338 Morty, gotta push or pull, your call. 172 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:13,594 What the hell? What happened? 173 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,639 They made us stop at every drivethru chain in the galaxy, 174 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,725 so they could make one giant burger with a patty from each place. 175 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,687 - I guess I meant before that. - Brains got a little mixed up... 176 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,313 But we’re gonna swap back, don’t worry. 177 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:27,358 Just didn’t wanna build a neural interface on an empty stomach. 178 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,527 - Right? - Wait, you guys did a brain swap? 179 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,947 Don’t bother chiding until they’re unshuffled, neither one is Dad or Rick. 180 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,493 I guess I’m thrilled you guys are getting along? 181 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:42,206 Let’s keep that going when those brains get back in their bodies. 182 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:45,418 Whoa, going for the electropneumatic diodes. Wild man. 183 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,129 Only gonna build this once, gotta do it with style. 184 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,216 I think we can up the wattage. Hey, another beer? 185 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,843 It’s about the journey, brother. 186 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:57,054 Ahh, Rick used to hate that kind of hang-loose McConaughey platitude, 187 00:09:57,471 --> 00:10:00,308 but he was also just gonna spend today grumpy and isolated. 188 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,351 And Jerry’d still be hung up about the rake. 189 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,688 The rake! Oh my god, should we do it? We’ve gotta do it! 190 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,689 Oh yeah! 191 00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:08,899 Alright, that should do it. 192 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,075 - Son of a bitch. - Classic Gene... 193 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,580 Huh. Crazy, this is the kind of thing that used to really piss me off. 194 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,707 Now it’s just kinda funny... 195 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,209 You wanna replace it with a holographic rake? 196 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,670 Oh that’d be fun, he’d get confused trying to pick it up. 197 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,548 I guess I don’t even wanna do that. 198 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,718 I just want to live, I want Gene to live, 199 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,055 I want all of us to make mistakes and change all the time. 200 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,389 Amen to that, brother. 201 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:43,142 Kinda thought two geniuses would build faster than one... 202 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,478 When do I start being concerned about this? 203 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,605 Just having a little fun with my new friend, sweetie. 204 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,233 Who is talking to me right now? Mostly my dad or mostly my husband? 205 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,568 Been on that website. 206 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,988 Look, I’ve been patient, but I can’t tell how to get mad at who. 207 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,950 No one enters my room or touches me until this is wrapped up. 208 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,078 - What do you take me for? - Ugh, Beth, gross, ugh! 209 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,250 I want you to know, when this is over, 210 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,337 the guy in this body is gonna yell at Jerry and call him useless. 211 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,756 Really lay into him. But he won’t always mean it. 212 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,299 Well, cards on the table, 213 00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,511 the guy in this body might call Rick an angry old asshole. 214 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,514 But he’s the closest thing Jerry has to a friend. 215 00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:25,226 This was fun. Rick would’ve never been able to admit that. 216 00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:29,271 It’s a shame those guys had to become us to be happy. 217 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,325 Kids! Breakfast and school, 218 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,744 if we don’t at least pretend they matter everything falls apart. 219 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,123 Jerry? Dad? 220 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:49,959 They left a note. 221 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,919 Should we read it in Rick’s voice or Dad’s? 222 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,505 “Dear family, we thought about leaving a note. 223 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,632 But then one of us was like why are we leaving a note, 224 00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,175 that’s such a Jerry thing to do. 225 00:11:58,175 --> 00:12:00,845 But if we didn’t leave a note, that’s such a Rick thing to do. 226 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,805 And then we realized, we just gotta be us. 227 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,808 So it’s a note but it’s not really well thought out.“ 228 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,894 That’s it? They got out a pen and a paper for this? 229 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,230 Hey, did you guys get a note too? 230 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,565 Mine’s really long. 231 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,653 Beautiful day to be carrying glass? 232 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,072 I can’t believe a dying kid would wish for a window. 233 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,324 Dammit! 234 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,660 Hey! Stop them! They stole our crystals! 235 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,663 - We stole those first! - Possession is 9/10th’s of my ass! 236 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,294 - Look at this pancake butt. - Stop, you’re gonna make me fart. 237 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,054 - Hey! That’s for sipping. - So are my balls! 238 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,473 Here’s a tip, lady. 239 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,308 Life tastes better when you’re chugging. 240 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,859 You were in a tree? Really gambled on this escape route. 241 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,777 Says the guy with a goon on his back. 242 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,866 - Forget it, Burger! - It’s our calling card! 243 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:11,123 - Really called that one. - One of us always gets shot. 244 00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,003 God dammit! 245 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:20,007 Hey. You’ll never guess who just ripped us off. 246 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,177 Oh wow, good guess. 247 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,387 Oh man! 248 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,806 Twenty-four crystal heists in twenty-four hours! 249 00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:31,644 We’re two farts in the wind, baby. Do your Howard Dean scream. 250 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,065 Five o’clock somewhere. Five o’clock somewhere. 251 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,234 God damn, look at us. 252 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:42,238 No rules, no responsibilities. Just two best friends on the run. 253 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,494 The voice mailbox for, wait, wait, wait, wait did it beep? 254 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,288 - My name is Jer... - Is full. Goodbye. 255 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,499 Looks like we just missed them. 256 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,585 So they just stick burgers in dead guy’s mouths now? 257 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:59,755 - In dead criminal’s mouths, Summer. - You’re defending them? 258 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,590 Well, they were my husband and father. 259 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:02,967 Thanks for the tip, Blarb. 260 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,594 It’s weird, most of my underworld contacts are ghosting me. 261 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:09,682 My pleasure, Morty, I should be thanking you for making me rich. 262 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,600 Wait. I didn’t pay you for this. 263 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,810 Yeah, these guys did. 264 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:23,028 What’s the problem, kid, conehead got your tongue? 265 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,780 Chuxly? You’re alive? 266 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,951 ...Did this guy always have a hole or is that a big reveal? 267 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:33,914 Everything should be in a swamp! 268 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,542 Working with ya’ll was a plum-fool idea! 269 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,752 Burger & Fries, who the hell is this?? 270 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,963 Just an average mid-tier crime dork. 271 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,631 Chuxly? You’re alive? 272 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,009 Shut up! I got something you might wanna hear. 273 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,970 Caught your family out looking for you. 274 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,556 What do you want? We’ve smoked most of what we stole. 275 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:54,602 I just want you, both of you. Or I smoke your family. 276 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,938 What am I saying, sure, bring money too. One hour. 277 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,900 Shit. Guess we should shoot the fuel tank? 278 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:06,363 You guys coulda done that the whole time? 279 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,044 So. What now? 280 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,714 Hey, remember how we met? 281 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,050 That nonrescue of Morty? 282 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:31,388 We were thinking we were different and accusing each other of being bad. 283 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,017 But Morty reminded us we both love our family. 284 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,603 And it brought us together. 285 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,859 - Let’s do this. - Well, if we’re gonna do it right, 286 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:46,278 we might as well use our best idea. 287 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,907 You guys comfortable? No? Good. 288 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,617 Who are you? What is this place? 289 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,078 And does my son sell drugs for my father, 290 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,871 maybe criminals will actually be honest with me. 291 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:57,289 Crystals can be anything, Mom. 292 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,041 - But these crystals are drugs. - Morty! 293 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,295 Here we go, boys! This is it! 294 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:04,755 - Jerry? - Rick! 295 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,799 - Grandpa? - Jesus christ. 296 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:10,219 Morty. Summer. Daughterwife. You are safe now. 297 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:15,307 Holy shit. All the positive aspects of each, perfectly melded together? 298 00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,476 Yes. I am... Jerricky. 299 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,438 Alright boys, nothing could have prepared us for this! 300 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,899 At this point we gotta shoot and hope! 301 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,735 Also everything’s flammable! 302 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,626 Hey, guys! Little help! 303 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,055 Gotta split? 304 00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,310 I’m sorry, Chux! I started this! It’s all my fault! 305 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,604 Solid apology new guy. If we live through this, 306 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,605 you're off the hook. 307 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,528 - Nice shot, Morty. - Everything’s flammable. 308 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,366 What a family. 309 00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,870 - You got shot? - No, no, no... 310 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,788 The stitches, they never really set. 311 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,166 What can I say, I’m a workaholic. 312 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,378 I knew this day would come. 313 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:31,091 Chuxly. This is a good death. You sought mastery over your world. 314 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,385 No, no. I stepped out of line. 315 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,053 I thought I could kill god. 316 00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,557 Being a boss in a crime world. 317 00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:42,311 So much stress. Honestly Jerricky, 318 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,314 it’s a relief to die in your four arms. 319 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,149 Final meal? 320 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,947 How, how old is this? 321 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,124 Can we turn on the radio? 322 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,585 At this point, I’d even take a podcast. 323 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,172 Do you not hear the symphony of atoms dying in space? 324 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,301 ...no? 325 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,932 Good. You are here. 326 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,352 I have modified the house defenses. 327 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,396 They will ensure the mob never bothers you again. 328 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,856 Thanks. 329 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,859 This is killing me. 330 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:33,987 I thought when you came to rescue us you learned to love us more than ever. 331 00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,197 You learned the opposite? 332 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,825 Burger and Fries learned to love each other, 333 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,911 then sacrificed themselves out of love for you. 334 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,997 I am Jerricky, and I only need to love myself. 335 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:47,543 You can’t actually be leaving, right? Like the crows thing? 336 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,003 They’re my dad and grandpa, you can’t just take them! 337 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,005 Your dad and grandpa are dead, Morty. 338 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,050 They died arguing with each other about their brains. 339 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,845 Scuse me, are you Jerry? 340 00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,222 Sorry, you have one of his heads. 341 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,932 I am Jerricky. 342 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,892 May as well have your rake back then. 343 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,811 That’s right, I took it. 344 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:09,189 I ask myself why lie about it, don’t you think he knows? 345 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,232 Couldn’t I get my own? 346 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,693 Of course I could have! But god dammit, 347 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,903 this rake, it kept my neighbors in my life. 348 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,364 You guys don’t give a goddamn shit about Gene. 349 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,285 But I see that won’t help me any longer. Here. 350 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,830 You are no longer obligated in such a way. 351 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:28,458 I’m gonna give it back anyway. Just seems like the right thing to do. 352 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:29,960 Okay? 353 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,010 - Shit. - Shit. 354 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,137 You think a rake will change my mind? 355 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,889 Well, it’s fucking lame, okay? 356 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,599 Both of you walking out on Mom? 357 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:47,060 I thought you had two sets of balls, not zero. 358 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,478 Our balls are adequate... 359 00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,064 Morty! We’re still in here! 360 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,941 There’s a memory of myself as a 30 years old, 361 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,192 he kept our egos intact! 362 00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:56,445 He saved us! It was a whole action movie, Morty! 363 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,196 Memory Rick, he’s still trapped in here. 364 00:19:58,196 --> 00:19:59,615 Quick, tackle this fucking thing! 365 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,824 - Garage! Garage! - Help us!, Hold him. 366 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,288 Nicely prepared eggs. 367 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:11,001 I still can’t taste anything. Awesome adventure, Rick. 368 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:12,920 Jerry, being shuffled with me was probably 369 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,964 the best part of your sad existence. A brush with greatness. 370 00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:18,175 Please, like you didn’t get an upgrade. 371 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,302 What was it like having integrity for once? 372 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,971 Hey Beth, how much integrity is left on the mortgage? 373 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:26,058 I think it’s clear you both love each other more than you’re willing to admit. 374 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,310 Dumb. Fucking dumb. Go pick up crystals for me. 375 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,853 You don’t have to do that, Morty! 376 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:32,105 No it’s- it’s okay, I like doing it. 377 00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:34,858 Welp, those horses won’t sew themselves up. 378 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,653 - But, good to have you both back. - Whatever. 379 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,155 Great, so I still wind up stuck with Jerry’s dumb ass? 380 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,532 Fuck you. Eat your eggs that my wife bought. 381 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,660 How about you eat my shit, you Hawaiian-shirt-loving twat. 382 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,496 Uncalled for! Rude and uncalled for! 383 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,873 You sit there with your potty mouth and do everything but help! 384 00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,667 Jerry, it’s not my fault that nobody respects you in here, 385 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:55,504 - your own kids think... - ...You could help but you don’t! 386 00:20:55,504 --> 00:21:00,175 Brand new shoes, walking blues Climb the fence, books and pens 387 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:03,887 I can tell that we are gonna be friends 388 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:09,142 I can tell that we are gonna be friends 389 00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:17,651 Walk with me, Suzy Lee Through the park and by the tree 390 00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:22,990 We will rest upon the ground And look at all the bugs we found 391 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,201 Safely walk to school without a sound 392 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,373 Safely walk to school without a sound 393 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,211 I can tell that we are gonna be friends 394 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:41,508 I can tell that we are gonna be friends 395 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:45,220 And of course, there’s a space shuttles. 396 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:47,973 Can you believe that giant thing actually flies? 397 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,434 Well, of course it can. It’s a space shuttles. 398 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:54,312 And over here is some stuff about Thomas Jefferson. Come on students! 399 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,734 Day 8 of attempting to escape Jerry's mind. 400 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:03,030 It has become increasingly clear my daughter married a man 401 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:06,491 who remembers all technology as powered by springs and gears. 402 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:08,160 How did I get here? 403 00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:12,330 I suspect a chunk of Rick’s brain got merged with a chunk of Jerry’s. 404 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,083 But did Rick maroon me by accident? 405 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,127 Or on purpose? 406 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,965 Escape remains possible, but increasingly unlikely. 407 00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:28,847 Memory Rick! Building more sculptures out of springs and gears? 408 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,515 Fuck off, Memory Gene. 34632

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