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1
00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:06,049
(grand orchestral fanfare playing)
2
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,573
(tires squealing)
3
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:35,744
d Ding, dong, ding d
4
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:39,707
d Ding, dong, ding d
5
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:43,128
("A Holly Jolly Christmas"
by Burl Ives playing)
6
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,633
d Have a holly jolly Christmas d
7
00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:52,929
d It's the best time
of the year d
8
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:57,473
d I don't know
if there'll be snow d
9
00:00:57,475 --> 00:01:00,143
d But have a cup of cheer d
10
00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:03,439
d Have a holly jolly Christmas d
11
00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:06,233
d And when you walk
down the street... d
12
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,361
- (belches)
- Another one?
13
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:14,365
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.
14
00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:17,618
d Oh, ho, the mistletoe d
15
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,289
d Hung where you can see d
16
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,375
d Somebody waits for you... d
17
00:01:23,376 --> 00:01:25,626
(chuckling):
Ho, ho.
18
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,129
(gags)
19
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:29,382
MAN:
Bitter. Pint.
20
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,176
You just get off?
21
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,802
d And in case you didn't hear d
22
00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:37,264
d Oh, by golly,
have a holly... d
23
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,182
I'm taking a break.
24
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,352
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.
25
00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:42,936
- MAN: Hmm.
- You ain't driving, are you?
26
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,980
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.
27
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,901
(laughter)
28
00:01:48,902 --> 00:01:50,319
Mm-hmm.
29
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,528
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.
30
00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:53,822
Ah.
31
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,073
How about you?
32
00:01:55,075 --> 00:01:57,158
Lost count.
33
00:01:57,159 --> 00:02:00,328
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.
34
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:03,623
Same reason anybody
does anything.
35
00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,417
The money.
36
00:02:05,418 --> 00:02:08,086
(chuckling):
Money. Money.
37
00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:10,088
This whole planet runs on greed.
38
00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,799
(crunching)
39
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,759
(grunts, sighs)
40
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,221
MAN: It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?
41
00:02:17,222 --> 00:02:18,847
That's what does it for me.
42
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:22,518
- Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.
- (man chuckles)
43
00:02:22,519 --> 00:02:24,728
Lasts about two seconds.
44
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,146
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,
45
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,608
they want the next present,
46
00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:32,360
they want the next cool thing.
47
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,362
That's how this world works.
48
00:02:34,364 --> 00:02:36,406
And kids...
what kids have become.
49
00:02:36,408 --> 00:02:40,576
They're just like
little junkies.
50
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:43,247
They're little shits.
They just demand.
51
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,789
They don't believe.
52
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:48,502
They just want, crave, consume.
53
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,587
(sighs softly)
54
00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:56,009
Maybe this is my last year.
55
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,094
d d
56
00:02:58,096 --> 00:03:00,264
The last Christmas.
57
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:07,354
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.
58
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,521
(belches)
59
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,149
Put his drinks on my tab.
60
00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:11,608
- Okay?
- Yeah.
61
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:14,235
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.
62
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,655
I better get going.
63
00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:18,865
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.
64
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,033
(laughter)
65
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,909
Oh, uh...
66
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:23,787
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.
67
00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,830
It's, uh, that new video game.
68
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,542
It's Astro Blaster,
Blaster Astro.
69
00:03:28,543 --> 00:03:30,544
I-I don't know.
70
00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:31,920
Merry Christmas. (belches)
71
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,423
How'd he know
my grandson's name?
72
00:03:34,424 --> 00:03:37,634
How'd he know I have a grandson?
- (door opens)
73
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:41,930
Oi! That door leads to the roof.
74
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,264
Piss head.
75
00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:45,810
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.
76
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:51,355
Hey! You can't be up here.
77
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:55,026
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...
78
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,530
(panting)
79
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:09,332
d d
80
00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:11,377
(sleigh bells jingling)
81
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,879
(sighs)
82
00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:17,300
My God.
83
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,139
It's...
84
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,182
(retching)
85
00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:27,644
...beauti...
86
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,896
(gasping)
87
00:04:31,898 --> 00:04:33,942
d d
88
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,447
("Deck the Halls" playing)
89
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,500
(music ends)
90
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,173
(dog barking nearby)
91
00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:00,884
(sighs)
92
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,762
(rummaging)
93
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,889
(vehicle approaches, horn honks)
94
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,437
(bells jingling)
95
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,692
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
96
00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:19,028
There she is. Hello, muffin.
97
00:05:20,071 --> 00:05:22,365
Let's go see Grandma.
98
00:05:24,117 --> 00:05:25,533
Ooh.
99
00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,786
Merry Christmas.
100
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,706
Merry Christmas, Trudy.
101
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:32,790
Merry...
102
00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:34,543
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
103
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,963
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.
104
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:39,380
(Trudy chuckling)
105
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,550
She got to stay up late
and watch Home Alone.
106
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,634
Uh-huh.
107
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,553
It was so funny. (screams)
108
00:05:45,555 --> 00:05:48,014
- Yep.
- That... that hurts.
109
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:49,557
- All morning.
- Okay, um...
110
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,603
Thank you.
111
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,521
For doing this.
112
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,733
I'm not doing it for you.
113
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,526
- It's Christmas!
- Yeah!
114
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,738
d d
115
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,423
Merry Christmas, Al.
116
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,257
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.
117
00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:25,302
- Mr. Lightstone.
- Hey, Al.
118
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,677
Hey, you back there, Tru?
119
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,430
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.
120
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,139
What did you ask Santa for?
121
00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:31,891
- Not to work on Christmas Eve.
- (laughs)
122
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:33,476
Must've been naughty this year,
123
00:06:33,478 --> 00:06:35,103
- 'cause here I am.
- Mm-hmm.
124
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,105
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.
125
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,649
- Yeah.
- Have a merry one, now.
126
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:40,651
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Al.
127
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,694
Merry Christmas, Tru.
128
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,237
- (laughs) Thank you, Al.
- Yeah.
129
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,449
d d
130
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,800
d d
131
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,052
(busy chatter)
132
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,805
MAN: I can't remember
where the second one is.
133
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,975
MALE VOICE (recorded):
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
134
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:16,728
Merry Christmas.
135
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,814
Hope you're on the nice list.
136
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,565
WOMAN:
That doesn't go over there.
137
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,819
(chatter continues indistinctly)
138
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,951
WOMAN:
Excuse me.
139
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,161
(chatter continues indistinctly)
140
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,997
What the hell is this?
141
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:39,375
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.
142
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:41,377
It's lengthwise, not width.
143
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:43,254
Unbelievable.
144
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,507
d d
145
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,598
(watch beeps)
146
00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:00,855
Okay.
147
00:08:00,857 --> 00:08:03,065
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.
148
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:05,026
- Hi.
- I'm fine. Thank you so much.
149
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,612
("The Twelve Days of Christmas"
playing)
150
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:11,617
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.
151
00:08:12,744 --> 00:08:15,204
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.
152
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,413
I need a drink.
153
00:08:17,415 --> 00:08:18,874
d Two turtledoves d
154
00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:21,959
d And a partridge
in a pear tree... d
155
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:25,213
- (whistle tooting)
- Hey, look at that.
156
00:08:34,182 --> 00:08:35,974
Hi, Linda.
157
00:08:35,975 --> 00:08:38,018
- (chuckling): Hey.
- How's it going, Alva?
158
00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:39,936
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.
159
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:42,813
- (coughing)
- Looks good on you, though.
160
00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:44,732
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
161
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,442
'Sup, limp dick?
162
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,903
(sighs)
163
00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:49,571
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.
164
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,740
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.
165
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,741
'Cause I think this is the year
166
00:08:53,743 --> 00:08:55,534
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs
167
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:58,245
and choose one of us
to start running the show.
168
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:02,750
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.
169
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,168
(clicks tongue)
170
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,961
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be
171
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,755
without groveling
and infighting?
172
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,090
(Alva chuckling)
173
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:10,801
SERVER:
Your ros�, ma'am.
174
00:09:10,802 --> 00:09:13,552
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.
175
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,678
Mm.
176
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,264
Good. Good girl.
177
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,808
(chuckles)
178
00:09:18,643 --> 00:09:21,769
I am sorry about my sister.
179
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,272
d Making spirits bright d
180
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:27,149
d What fun it is
to ride and sing... d
181
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,611
It is really nice to see you.
182
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,740
To have you here.
183
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,993
d Jingle all the way... d
184
00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:40,455
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.
185
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:42,289
Hot goss. Okay.
186
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:46,086
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.
187
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,923
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker
188
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:53,802
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.
189
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,386
(laughs, inhales sharply)
190
00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:56,804
Hashtag "blessed."
191
00:09:56,806 --> 00:09:59,349
He just got
what I can only assume
192
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:02,644
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.
193
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,312
Mom paid off the school,
194
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,480
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.
195
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,482
Of course she did.
196
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:09,609
What about Tragic Mike?
197
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,403
All I'm saying is,
198
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,071
if I was on one of those planes,
199
00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:15,072
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists
200
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:18,826
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.
201
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,870
- (grunts) Yeah. You like that?
- ALVA: Yes. Yes.
202
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:23,081
- Yeah, I do like it.
- Ooh.
203
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,500
- Kiss me in front of my son.
- Now, huh?
204
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,043
- Mm...
- (Alva chuckles)
205
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,087
He might actually be
a decent actor.
206
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,173
Hmm.
- He's been doing an Oscar-worthy job
207
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,759
- of pretending to find my sister appealing.
- (laughs)
208
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,261
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.
209
00:10:37,263 --> 00:10:38,679
(laughing)
210
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,181
(indistinct chatter)
211
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,182
- MORGAN: It's Gertrude!
- It's Mom.
212
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,226
- Okay, let's do this.
- Okay, okay. Come on.
213
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,937
- Come on. Bert, get over here.
- No. Mom. Mom!
214
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,187
- Positions.
- Game time, buddy.
215
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,024
- Okay. Okay.
- This is my good side.
216
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,817
- BERT: I'm busy.
- ALVA: We've gone over this! Come on!
217
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:51,942
MORGAN:
Gosh. Okay.
218
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,110
ALVA:
Bert, get in the middle.
219
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,361
(sighs):
So it begins.
220
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,489
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.
221
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,575
Shall we jockey forward?
222
00:10:58,576 --> 00:11:00,327
No.
223
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,080
No, we can hang back.
224
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,539
Yeah.
225
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,168
Trudy, honey?
226
00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:10,128
Come on over here.
227
00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:11,587
- (growls playfully)
- (Trudy chuckles)
228
00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:13,756
Just, like...
229
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:15,549
GERTRUDE:
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.
230
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,842
This isn't rocket science.
231
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,386
Same shit we always do.
232
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:21,221
That's what?
233
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,682
That's the best you can do?
234
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,559
Excited to see your grandma?
235
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,894
Listen, you cocksucker.
236
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,855
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take
237
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,774
your best offer, gift wrap it,
238
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,735
and ram it up your fucking box.
239
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,070
(Alva clears throat)
240
00:11:35,071 --> 00:11:37,404
GERTRUDE: Maybe you don't
realize who I am.
241
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,990
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.
242
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,825
ALVA: Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.
243
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:43,077
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?
244
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,705
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.
245
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,164
(scoffing):
Oh, yeah.
246
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,750
GERTRUDE: No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
247
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,794
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.
248
00:11:51,796 --> 00:11:53,087
(chuckles) Grandma's cool.
249
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,381
GERTRUDE:
I can make that story go away...
250
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:57,091
I think your brother's
up to something.
251
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,884
No, I just decided
to let you guys
252
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,761
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.
253
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,556
Please. You are King Suck-up.
254
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,600
You named your kid Gertrude.
255
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,976
(Linda scoffs)
256
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:09,269
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.
257
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,272
Okay.
258
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,982
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.
259
00:12:12,984 --> 00:12:15,818
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.
260
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,822
Mom, I can hear you.
261
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,533
You know something we don't.
What is it?
262
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,993
No, I don't. I don't.
263
00:12:22,994 --> 00:12:24,244
I got it. Bingo.
264
00:12:24,245 --> 00:12:25,662
I'm onto you, man. Come on!
265
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:27,288
- We were just...
- MORGAN: Come on,
266
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,539
come on, come on, come on.
267
00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:30,833
- GERTRUDE: You big sack of shit.
- Ooh.
268
00:12:30,835 --> 00:12:32,668
No wonder your husband left you.
269
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,922
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
270
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:38,299
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.
271
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,927
- Merry Christmas, Mommy.
- Merry Christmas.
272
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,261
(chuckling)
273
00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:43,804
LINDA:
Merry Christmas.
274
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,558
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?
275
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:49,394
Merry Christmas, Grandma!
276
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,479
- GERTRUDE: Aw.
- Little bitch.
277
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,024
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?
278
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,567
Everybody calls me Trudy now.
279
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,236
Trudy?
280
00:12:59,572 --> 00:13:01,697
- Well, that makes her sound like a whore.
- Okay.
281
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,451
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.
282
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,785
I'm starving. Let's eat.
283
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,245
ALVA:
Great.
284
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,749
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.
285
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:13,043
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.
286
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,335
- Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
- Come on, Bertrude.
287
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:18,088
d When the kids
are fast asleep d
288
00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:20,759
d Gently down the stairs
we'll creep d
289
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,384
(swallows, gags)
290
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:25,263
d Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors d
291
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:28,892
d Just you and me
and Santa Claus d
292
00:13:28,893 --> 00:13:30,350
(groans)
293
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,187
d We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be d
294
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:36,482
d Planting toys under the tree d
295
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:40,278
d We'll be crawling around
on all fours d
296
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,072
d Just you and me d
297
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,698
- d And Santa Claus d
- (belching)
298
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,326
(whooping)
299
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,370
d d
300
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,040
d For soon will be d
301
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,710
- d That magic time d
- (scoffs)
302
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:58,379
d When we hear
that midnight chime d
303
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,173
- (wind whistling)
- (urine splattering)
304
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,883
- d When that flying sleigh d
- (grunts)
305
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,177
d Finally flies away d
306
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,388
d We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day d
307
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:11,893
d We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most d
308
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:15,230
d The best there ever was d
309
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:19,234
d You and me
and Santa Claus... d
310
00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:22,071
Another fucking Christmas.
311
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,405
(song ends)
312
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,158
TRUDY:
I made these all by myself.
313
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,743
- JASON: No way.
- LINDA: Mm-hmm.
314
00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:30,912
TRUDY: I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.
315
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,414
- Exactly.
- JASON (laughs): Yeah.
316
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,792
Santa gets a candy cane, too?
317
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,043
Yeah.
318
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,546
Mm, okay.
319
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,588
It's perfect.
320
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,258
No peeking.
321
00:14:43,259 --> 00:14:45,717
This house has so many chimneys.
322
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,220
(Linda chuckles)
323
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,264
How will Santa know
which one to come down?
324
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,140
Oh, Santa just knows.
325
00:14:51,142 --> 00:14:52,934
Christmas magic.
326
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,605
Honey, what's wrong?
327
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:01,110
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.
328
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,113
LINDA:
He didn't.
329
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,491
I am so sorry.
330
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,245
This year has been weird.
331
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,956
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.
332
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,460
Oh, honey. Come here.
333
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,756
You know what?
334
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:28,970
You go put your pj's on,
335
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,057
and I will be two minutes.
336
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,977
d d
337
00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:40,149
(hushed):
Yes!
338
00:15:41,609 --> 00:15:44,027
Okay...
339
00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:47,114
(muttering)
340
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,661
(sighs):
Yes.
341
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,663
(paper rustling)
342
00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,335
Yes!
343
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:05,215
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,
344
00:16:05,216 --> 00:16:09,177
we decided that
you could have one gift...
345
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,053
(gasps) early!
346
00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:13,514
- Really?
- (Jason chuckling)
347
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,647
What is it?
348
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:25,150
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.
349
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,693
It's magic.
350
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,986
- Magic?
- Mm-hmm.
351
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,197
What you got right there
352
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,575
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.
353
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:35,327
- I can talk to Santa?
- Oh, yeah.
354
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:39,164
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.
355
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,290
Mm-hmm.
356
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:43,086
Now, the only thing is,
357
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,462
he might not have time
to answer you.
358
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,506
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.
359
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:48,841
Mm-hmm.
360
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,427
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.
361
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,892
(beeps, crackles)
362
00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:59,726
Hello, Santa?
363
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:03,188
This is Trudy Lightstone.
364
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,232
I hope you're having
a nice night.
365
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,402
JASON:
Mm. (kissing rapidly)
366
00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:12,156
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.
367
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:16,286
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,
368
00:17:16,287 --> 00:17:18,078
I was extra good this year,
369
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:22,250
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.
370
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,461
But then...
371
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,882
then I realized
I don't need any of that.
372
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:33,511
I really only want
one present for Christmas.
373
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:38,849
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up
374
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:41,269
so we can be a family again.
375
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,146
Okay.
376
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,317
Good night, Santa.
377
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,611
Good night, Mr. Bunny.
378
00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:56,242
(sighs)
379
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,702
(footsteps squishing)
380
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:01,164
(groans)
381
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,790
Which one of you did that?
382
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,125
(reindeer grunting)
383
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,461
You can't go two seconds without
384
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,296
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?
385
00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:10,006
(huffing)
386
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:13,134
So unprofessional.
387
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:15,720
(sighs)
388
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:18,432
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.
389
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:22,185
- (jingling)
- (whooshing)
390
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,145
(sighs, grunts)
391
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,357
d d
392
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,322
Hmm.
393
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,411
Mmm.
394
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,084
(chuckling)
395
00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:48,336
Mmm, mmm.
396
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,672
Homemade.
397
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,048
Mmm.
398
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,801
(slurps)
399
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,887
Ugh.
400
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,473
Skim.
401
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,317
Oh, yeah.
402
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,445
That's the stuff.
403
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,786
Mmm.
404
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:23,538
DuBoi...
405
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:26,540
- On some prewar shit right there.
- (cork pops)
406
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,961
- Good shit.
- (cork clatters on floor)
407
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:35,675
("We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
melody plays)
408
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,555
(melody ends)
409
00:19:40,556 --> 00:19:42,222
(exhales sharply) Mmm.
410
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,891
That pairs well.
411
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,561
What do we have here?
412
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:50,566
(sighing)
413
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,660
(chair vibrating)
414
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:04,494
Oh, yeah.
415
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,582
That's the stuff.
416
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,420
(slurping)
417
00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:18,593
- You know, uh...
- (sighs)
418
00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,596
Christmas is all right,
419
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:25,267
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.
420
00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:27,934
Oh, yeah? What?
421
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,563
Boxing Day.
422
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,940
(glass shatters)
423
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,984
d d
424
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,990
(watch beeping)
425
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,036
(chiming)
426
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:51,710
(watches chiming)
427
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:58,467
(watch chiming)
428
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:04,471
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,
429
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,265
live streaming the dream,
you know.
430
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,809
They say the richest man...
431
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,604
Say goodbye.
432
00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:13,565
And if you...
433
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,734
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.
434
00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,403
Damn it!
435
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,989
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.
436
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,951
(gasps softly)
437
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,467
Hey. Merry Christmas.
438
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,134
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?
439
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,179
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.
440
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:47,431
- You know what I'm saying?
- Can I help you?
441
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,392
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,
442
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:51,018
my car broke down
a little ways...
443
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:52,853
Out here?
This is a private road.
444
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,855
You're telling me. (chuckles)
445
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:57,148
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.
446
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,442
I think I got frostbite.
447
00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,777
Where the hell am I, anyway?
448
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:01,528
G.T. Lightstone family compound.
449
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:03,365
I'll call you a tow.
450
00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:07,702
- (silenced gunshot)
- (grunts)
451
00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:12,414
d d
452
00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:14,416
All right, revelers.
453
00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:16,210
(over earpiece):
Time to steal Christmas.
454
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:17,461
Sound off.
455
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,046
Jingle. Check.
456
00:22:19,047 --> 00:22:20,631
Peppermint. Check.
457
00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:22,215
Sugarplum. Check.
458
00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:25,176
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.
459
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,971
Candy Cane. Check.
460
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,598
- Go for Frosty.
- Go for Tinsel.
461
00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:31,308
Go for Gingerbread.
462
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:34,269
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?
463
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,770
(over earpiece):
'Tis the season.
464
00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:39,567
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.
465
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,945
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.
466
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:45,573
She loves going with her father.
467
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:47,240
And you should've
taken her yesterday,
468
00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:48,617
like you do every Christmas,
469
00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:50,327
but we didn't even
hear from you.
470
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:51,662
Mom put me on a special project.
471
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,079
- It's complicated.
- But it's not,
472
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,165
because it keeps happening
over and over.
473
00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:57,752
Your mother forcing herself between us.
- You're right.
474
00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:01,506
d d
475
00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:04,717
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?
476
00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:06,801
(scoffs)
You're trying to win me back
477
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:09,471
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?
478
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:12,808
What if things
really changed this time?
479
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,020
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.
480
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,814
We'll walk away.
481
00:23:18,815 --> 00:23:21,526
From the company, the family.
482
00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:25,864
Tonight.
483
00:23:26,656 --> 00:23:28,199
What are you up to?
484
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,452
(distant gunfire)
485
00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:34,664
- (rapid gunfire)
- (grunts)
486
00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:39,669
(chair vibrating)
487
00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:41,837
- (distant gunfire)
- (snorts)
488
00:23:45,759 --> 00:23:47,300
(vibrating stops)
489
00:23:47,301 --> 00:23:48,929
(gunfire continues)
490
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,852
(groaning)
491
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,943
(gunfire continues)
492
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,488
(grunting)
493
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:09,656
(panting quietly)
494
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:11,826
(whimpering)
495
00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:13,493
- (Candy Cane yells)
- (grunts)
496
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:14,787
Let's go.
497
00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:17,288
We need to get you out of here.
498
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,040
Mommy, where are you going?
499
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,835
- She's going for the panic room!
- What?
500
00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:22,169
- Yes. Go, Bertrude.
- Without us?
501
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,839
- (gunfire continues)
- (groaning)
502
00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:28,134
(grunts)
503
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:30,178
ALVA: Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
504
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:40,730
(gunfire)
505
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,826
GERTRUDE:
There isn't room for all of us.
506
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,577
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.
507
00:24:55,578 --> 00:24:57,538
- Mom! (stammers)
- Oh. Yeah.
508
00:24:57,538 --> 00:24:59,164
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?
509
00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:01,834
- (device beeps)
- (whirring)
510
00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:03,085
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.
511
00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:04,795
- Move it!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
512
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:06,922
You're supposed to protect us.
513
00:25:06,923 --> 00:25:08,592
We protect the primary asset.
514
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:13,762
Who the hell are you?
515
00:25:13,763 --> 00:25:16,724
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.
516
00:25:17,476 --> 00:25:18,893
Hilarious.
517
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:20,228
Get him.
518
00:25:20,854 --> 00:25:22,897
(grunting and groaning)
519
00:25:28,778 --> 00:25:31,198
Bah humbug, motherfucker.
520
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:36,744
d d
521
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:42,834
SCROOGE:
Hey. Step aside.
522
00:25:44,085 --> 00:25:46,586
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.
523
00:25:46,587 --> 00:25:48,798
I want all the Lightstones
together.
524
00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:51,300
Kill anybody else you find.
525
00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:59,099
(panting, whimpering)
526
00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:04,271
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
527
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:07,651
LINDA:
Trudy, honey, we got to go.
528
00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:10,152
JASON:
Wake up, honey. Wake up.
529
00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:12,948
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.
530
00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:17,951
(gasps)
531
00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:19,787
(crackles, whistles)
532
00:26:19,788 --> 00:26:22,288
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.
533
00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:23,414
(crackles, whistles)
534
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,416
Fuck! Fuck!
535
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,961
Mistletoe, gingerbread.
536
00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:29,088
(crackles, whistles)
537
00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:33,050
(gasps)
538
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:43,060
(banging)
539
00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:52,236
Hey!
540
00:26:52,237 --> 00:26:53,947
(jingling)
541
00:26:55,073 --> 00:26:56,323
Oh. Oh.
542
00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:57,782
(chuckling):
Hi.
543
00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,243
You got me.
544
00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:02,829
I don't want any trouble, okay?
545
00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:04,539
Downstairs. Now.
546
00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:08,210
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.
547
00:27:08,211 --> 00:27:10,628
I just...
I just have a job to do.
548
00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:12,006
Okay? That's it.
549
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:14,508
I'm just gonna take my bag,
550
00:27:14,509 --> 00:27:17,344
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.
551
00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:18,846
(both grunt)
552
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,723
Enough talk. Let's go.
553
00:27:21,516 --> 00:27:23,267
You don't want to do this.
554
00:27:23,268 --> 00:27:24,476
What? This?
555
00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:26,185
(both grunt)
556
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,520
Now, move!
557
00:27:27,521 --> 00:27:29,522
- (groaning)
- Are you deaf?
558
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:31,525
Fucking move!
559
00:27:31,526 --> 00:27:32,776
(Tinsel gasps)
560
00:27:32,777 --> 00:27:34,988
(grunting)
561
00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:40,659
(snorting, grunting)
562
00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:42,327
(rapid hoofbeats)
563
00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:44,203
No, no, no.
564
00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:47,374
No! Wait!
565
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:48,709
Wait.
566
00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:50,376
Wait! Don't go!
567
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:52,255
Come back!
568
00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:57,969
(grunting)
569
00:27:59,930 --> 00:28:02,847
(both yelling)
570
00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:05,099
(grunting and groaning)
571
00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:07,479
- (sizzling)
- (screaming)
572
00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:13,232
(steam hissing)
573
00:28:13,233 --> 00:28:15,402
(groaning)
574
00:28:15,403 --> 00:28:17,446
(both yelling, grunting)
575
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:24,871
(groaning)
576
00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:31,961
(crackling, whistling)
577
00:28:34,005 --> 00:28:37,092
(grunting and groaning)
578
00:28:50,396 --> 00:28:53,107
(strained grunting)
579
00:28:57,278 --> 00:28:59,447
(screaming)
580
00:29:02,616 --> 00:29:05,202
(yells)
581
00:29:07,329 --> 00:29:09,082
Oh, fuck!
582
00:29:10,458 --> 00:29:12,291
(grunts)
583
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:15,296
(coughs, groans)
584
00:29:16,631 --> 00:29:18,842
(groaning)
585
00:29:33,189 --> 00:29:34,690
Oh, shit.
586
00:29:34,691 --> 00:29:36,942
(wind whistling)
587
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:44,907
(frustrated grunt)
588
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:47,494
(panting, gasping)
589
00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:59,840
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.
590
00:30:08,266 --> 00:30:11,518
(to tune of "Silent Night"):
d Violent night d
591
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:14,605
d Gory night d
592
00:30:14,605 --> 00:30:16,773
d All is calm d
593
00:30:16,775 --> 00:30:21,028
d If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. d
594
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,196
GERTRUDE:
Cute.
595
00:30:23,198 --> 00:30:26,326
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?
596
00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:29,661
(groaning)
597
00:30:29,662 --> 00:30:32,538
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.
598
00:30:32,539 --> 00:30:34,665
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think
599
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,210
that I spent months
600
00:30:36,211 --> 00:30:38,878
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure
601
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,506
private residence in the country
602
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,257
and I didn't know
who lived here?
603
00:30:42,258 --> 00:30:43,842
Well, you're wrong.
604
00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:46,804
'Cause your staff are dead.
605
00:30:46,805 --> 00:30:48,931
- Your security are dead.
- (grunts)
606
00:30:48,932 --> 00:30:52,227
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!
607
00:30:54,061 --> 00:30:56,064
(Trudy screams)
608
00:31:00,067 --> 00:31:02,612
d d
609
00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:22,382
Oh, fuck.
610
00:31:25,259 --> 00:31:26,593
We planned it. It's all right.
611
00:31:26,594 --> 00:31:28,220
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.
612
00:31:28,221 --> 00:31:29,762
Better be solved.
613
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:32,141
So much like a scene
from my movie Dark Ransom.
614
00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:33,601
Oh, my God.
615
00:31:34,769 --> 00:31:36,269
If they didn't have guns,
616
00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:38,313
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.
617
00:31:38,314 --> 00:31:40,440
ALVA:
Try all of them.
618
00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:43,067
Ew, Mom. Yuck.
619
00:31:43,068 --> 00:31:44,862
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know
620
00:31:44,863 --> 00:31:47,656
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.
621
00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:51,160
But my father
never called the police.
622
00:31:51,161 --> 00:31:53,662
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,
623
00:31:53,663 --> 00:31:57,249
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.
624
00:31:57,250 --> 00:32:00,919
And the kidnappers
were never found.
625
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,006
If you get me.
626
00:32:04,548 --> 00:32:06,048
I know.
627
00:32:06,049 --> 00:32:08,759
I know all about
your extraction team
628
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,846
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"
629
00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:12,638
behind closed doors.
630
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,557
I also know
that they're on their way
631
00:32:14,558 --> 00:32:16,559
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.
632
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,479
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.
633
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,147
If you get me.
634
00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:23,317
Then you should also know
you're already dead.
635
00:32:23,317 --> 00:32:25,152
We don't do ransoms.
636
00:32:25,153 --> 00:32:27,778
Again, I know. I know.
637
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,780
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.
638
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,532
I really do.
639
00:32:31,534 --> 00:32:34,619
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars
640
00:32:34,621 --> 00:32:36,747
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.
641
00:32:36,748 --> 00:32:38,999
- The fuck?
- SCROOGE: That's right.
642
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,751
300 million that
the U.S. government
643
00:32:41,752 --> 00:32:45,213
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East
644
00:32:45,214 --> 00:32:46,882
to all the worst people,
645
00:32:46,883 --> 00:32:51,052
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.
646
00:32:51,054 --> 00:32:55,641
300 million that... oops...
disappeared in the fog of war.
647
00:32:55,642 --> 00:32:58,852
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?
648
00:32:58,853 --> 00:33:00,186
'Cause you stole it.
649
00:33:00,188 --> 00:33:01,771
Did you know about this?
650
00:33:01,772 --> 00:33:03,231
SCROOGE:
Man, this family.
651
00:33:03,232 --> 00:33:06,401
This moneygrubbing family.
652
00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:08,278
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,
653
00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:10,696
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal
654
00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:12,574
to keep Tiny Tim warm.
655
00:33:12,575 --> 00:33:15,743
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?
656
00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:17,537
Talk all you want.
657
00:33:17,538 --> 00:33:19,373
You'll never get in the vault.
658
00:33:19,374 --> 00:33:22,875
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,
659
00:33:22,876 --> 00:33:24,544
it reset the combination?
660
00:33:24,545 --> 00:33:28,215
I keep telling you, I know.
661
00:33:29,133 --> 00:33:31,385
d d
662
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,888
SCROOGE: This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?
663
00:33:35,890 --> 00:33:40,559
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?
664
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,229
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,
665
00:33:42,230 --> 00:33:43,730
but there was something
romantic about that.
666
00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:45,982
CANDY CANE (over radio):
Boss, you copy?
667
00:33:45,983 --> 00:33:47,942
I'm kind of busy here.
668
00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:50,404
You're gonna want to see this.
669
00:33:59,747 --> 00:34:01,414
Maybe he fell.
670
00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:02,833
You rappel down buildings
with him.
671
00:34:02,834 --> 00:34:05,252
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?
672
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:08,088
All right, look lively, gang.
673
00:34:08,088 --> 00:34:09,840
We got a gopher.
674
00:34:25,273 --> 00:34:26,773
LINDA:
You know what?
675
00:34:26,773 --> 00:34:30,943
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.
676
00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:32,945
So, let's tuck him in.
677
00:34:32,947 --> 00:34:34,574
Okay?
678
00:34:35,742 --> 00:34:37,452
It's gonna be okay.
679
00:34:39,619 --> 00:34:41,664
d d
680
00:34:51,340 --> 00:34:53,884
Hello? Santa?
681
00:34:53,885 --> 00:34:55,844
Are you there?
682
00:34:57,554 --> 00:34:59,599
(panting)
683
00:35:01,684 --> 00:35:03,436
Shit.
684
00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:07,563
(radio crackles)
685
00:35:07,565 --> 00:35:10,192
(over radio): This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.
686
00:35:10,193 --> 00:35:11,902
(gasps) Oh, shit.
687
00:35:11,902 --> 00:35:13,695
Shit. Shit. Shit.
688
00:35:13,695 --> 00:35:15,739
(panting)
689
00:35:16,865 --> 00:35:18,784
Video game.
690
00:35:19,952 --> 00:35:21,286
Video game.
691
00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,496
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword
692
00:35:23,498 --> 00:35:26,626
- or Molotov cocktails?
- (door opens)
693
00:35:35,134 --> 00:35:36,844
(whispers):
Wait.
694
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,519
d d
695
00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:51,608
(grunts)
696
00:35:51,608 --> 00:35:53,275
CHILD'S VOICE (recorded):
Mommy, I love you.
697
00:35:53,277 --> 00:35:54,820
("?D�nde Est� Santa Claus?"
by Toni Stante playing)
698
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,695
Poetry book.
699
00:35:56,697 --> 00:35:59,157
Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck!
700
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,742
(grunting)
701
00:36:00,742 --> 00:36:04,371
- d Mamacita d
- d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
702
00:36:04,371 --> 00:36:07,039
- d ?D�nde est� Santa Claus? d
- d Mamacita d
703
00:36:07,041 --> 00:36:09,166
- (grunts, chokes)
- d Ah-ooh d
704
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:11,710
- d ?D�nde est� Santa Claus? d
- d Mamacita, ah-ooh... d
705
00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:13,295
- (grunts)
- (gun clicks)
706
00:36:13,297 --> 00:36:15,257
Safety's on, dipshit.
707
00:36:15,257 --> 00:36:16,882
(grunting continues)
708
00:36:16,884 --> 00:36:20,262
- d Mamacita d
- d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
709
00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:22,639
d Oh, where is Santa Claus? d
710
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,266
d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
711
00:36:24,266 --> 00:36:26,059
d I look for him because d
712
00:36:26,059 --> 00:36:28,018
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
713
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:29,396
d It's Christmas Eve... d
714
00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:31,981
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.
715
00:36:31,983 --> 00:36:33,400
I don't want to kill you.
716
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,860
(chuckles)
717
00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:37,362
(laughing)
718
00:36:37,362 --> 00:36:41,157
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.
719
00:36:41,159 --> 00:36:43,244
Eh?
720
00:36:43,786 --> 00:36:45,829
Santa...
721
00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:47,873
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.
722
00:36:47,873 --> 00:36:50,666
(both yelling)
723
00:36:50,668 --> 00:36:52,168
(grunting with effort)
724
00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:55,213
d I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets d
725
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:58,757
d And to his reindeer say d
726
00:36:58,759 --> 00:37:01,344
d "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." d
727
00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:03,262
Oh, shit. (grunts)
728
00:37:03,264 --> 00:37:04,597
(pained grunting)
729
00:37:04,599 --> 00:37:06,307
(machine beeping)
730
00:37:06,309 --> 00:37:08,934
- d Mamacita d
- d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
731
00:37:08,936 --> 00:37:11,271
d ?D�nde est� Santa Claus? d
732
00:37:11,271 --> 00:37:12,898
(screams)
733
00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:15,775
d Oh, where is Santa Claus? d
734
00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:17,568
d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
735
00:37:17,570 --> 00:37:19,320
d It's Christmas Eve d
736
00:37:19,322 --> 00:37:21,280
d Christmas Eve d
737
00:37:21,282 --> 00:37:24,117
d d
738
00:37:24,117 --> 00:37:25,702
(grunts fiercely)
739
00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:28,456
(screaming, groaning)
740
00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:30,623
(pained yelling)
741
00:37:30,625 --> 00:37:32,250
d I hope he won't forget d
742
00:37:32,251 --> 00:37:33,835
d To crack his castanets d
743
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:37,713
- (screams, grunts)
- d And to his reindeer say d
744
00:37:37,715 --> 00:37:41,675
d "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen d
745
00:37:41,677 --> 00:37:45,639
d Ol�, ol�, ol�" d
746
00:37:45,639 --> 00:37:48,599
- d Mamacita d
- d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
747
00:37:48,601 --> 00:37:51,143
d ?D�nde est� Santa Claus? d
748
00:37:51,144 --> 00:37:52,311
d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
749
00:37:52,313 --> 00:37:54,313
d Oh, where is Santa Claus? d
750
00:37:54,315 --> 00:37:56,023
d Mamacita, ah-ooh d
751
00:37:56,025 --> 00:37:59,568
- d It's Christmas Eve d
- d Christmas Eve d
752
00:37:59,570 --> 00:38:02,489
d It's Christmas Eve d
753
00:38:02,489 --> 00:38:04,157
d Mamacita d
754
00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:06,409
- d It's Christmas Eve d
- d Mamacita. d
755
00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:08,494
- (yells)
- (screaming in pain)
756
00:38:08,496 --> 00:38:09,871
(song ends)
757
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:12,833
(Frosty screaming hysterically)
758
00:38:16,170 --> 00:38:18,505
(whimpers, growls)
759
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:22,050
(whimpering)
760
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:25,554
(gasping)
761
00:38:30,184 --> 00:38:32,561
- (electrical crackling)
- (sputtering)
762
00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:46,199
- (grunts)
- (steam hissing)
763
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:48,076
(chuckles)
764
00:38:48,077 --> 00:38:50,411
Ah, God.
765
00:38:50,413 --> 00:38:52,123
Whew.
766
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:56,126
Whew. Whew.
767
00:38:56,126 --> 00:38:58,210
(over radio):
This is Candy Cane checking in.
768
00:38:58,211 --> 00:38:59,920
Compound is clear and secured.
769
00:38:59,922 --> 00:39:02,047
- (radio crackling, beeping)
- (grunting)
770
00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:04,134
SCROOGE: Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?
771
00:39:04,135 --> 00:39:05,802
(coughing)
772
00:39:05,802 --> 00:39:07,554
GINGERBREAD: Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.
773
00:39:07,554 --> 00:39:10,431
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.
774
00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:13,059
Is there a 911 thing on here?
775
00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:15,561
(whimpers) My...
776
00:39:15,563 --> 00:39:17,521
Am I doing that correct?
777
00:39:17,523 --> 00:39:18,856
Hello?
778
00:39:18,858 --> 00:39:20,817
Hello, can anybody hear me?
779
00:39:20,818 --> 00:39:23,402
TRUDY:
Can you hear me, Santa?
780
00:39:23,403 --> 00:39:25,237
d d
781
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:26,489
Hello?
782
00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:28,074
Santa?
783
00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:32,996
Yeah, this is Santa.
784
00:39:35,750 --> 00:39:38,418
I hope I'm not bothering you.
785
00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:42,672
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.
786
00:39:44,425 --> 00:39:46,342
I'm...
787
00:39:46,344 --> 00:39:48,552
I'm on a break.
788
00:39:48,554 --> 00:39:50,764
Who-who am I speaking to?
789
00:39:53,184 --> 00:39:55,059
My name is Trudy Lightstone,
790
00:39:55,061 --> 00:39:58,521
and I've been very good
this year.
791
00:39:58,521 --> 00:40:00,440
(grunts) Trudy...
792
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,650
(panting)
793
00:40:02,652 --> 00:40:04,778
Trudy Lightstone.
794
00:40:08,199 --> 00:40:09,824
(chuckles)
795
00:40:13,621 --> 00:40:15,829
Yeah, Trudy.
796
00:40:15,831 --> 00:40:18,208
You're on my nice list.
797
00:40:18,208 --> 00:40:20,753
You've been a very good girl
this year.
798
00:40:22,295 --> 00:40:24,507
Where are you now, Trudy?
799
00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:28,592
TRUDY: I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.
800
00:40:28,594 --> 00:40:31,972
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.
801
00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:36,266
SANTA:
Oh, no. Six left.
802
00:40:36,268 --> 00:40:38,603
TRUDY:
Are you gonna help us, Santa?
803
00:40:39,730 --> 00:40:41,731
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.
804
00:40:41,731 --> 00:40:44,442
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.
805
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:48,030
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...
806
00:40:48,905 --> 00:40:51,407
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,
807
00:40:51,409 --> 00:40:55,369
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...
808
00:40:55,371 --> 00:40:56,664
The ass.
809
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:01,041
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.
810
00:41:01,043 --> 00:41:04,003
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.
811
00:41:05,338 --> 00:41:07,925
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?
812
00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:10,217
I mean, it's borderline.
813
00:41:10,219 --> 00:41:11,844
How about "anus"?
814
00:41:11,846 --> 00:41:16,181
(sighs) Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...
815
00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:18,016
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.
816
00:41:18,018 --> 00:41:20,769
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.
817
00:41:20,771 --> 00:41:23,440
You probably know this house
better than anybody.
818
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,358
You got any suggestions?
819
00:41:25,358 --> 00:41:26,985
I have an idea.
820
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:31,822
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus
821
00:41:31,824 --> 00:41:33,742
running around here?
822
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,954
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,
823
00:41:38,956 --> 00:41:40,498
but who the hell is he?
824
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:42,708
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.
825
00:41:42,710 --> 00:41:44,043
Yeah, there's more.
826
00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:45,753
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.
827
00:41:45,755 --> 00:41:47,713
All right, keep trying.
828
00:41:47,715 --> 00:41:50,382
d d
829
00:41:50,384 --> 00:41:51,925
All right, it's official.
830
00:41:51,927 --> 00:41:53,844
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.
831
00:41:53,846 --> 00:41:55,262
Watch your backs.
832
00:41:55,264 --> 00:41:57,307
d d
833
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:02,980
Al? Al?
834
00:42:09,195 --> 00:42:11,070
Oh, shit.
835
00:42:17,161 --> 00:42:18,744
(clicking)
836
00:42:18,746 --> 00:42:20,413
Oh, shit!
837
00:42:20,414 --> 00:42:23,751
SCROOGE (over radio):
Frosty, what's your status?
838
00:42:27,213 --> 00:42:29,255
Frosty, sound off.
839
00:42:30,257 --> 00:42:33,135
Uh, Frosty?
840
00:42:34,427 --> 00:42:35,887
Is-is that, uh...
841
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:37,806
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?
842
00:42:37,806 --> 00:42:39,516
Your-your friend is dead.
843
00:42:39,516 --> 00:42:42,768
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.
844
00:42:42,769 --> 00:42:44,686
It's a long story.
845
00:42:44,688 --> 00:42:47,523
Oh.
846
00:42:47,525 --> 00:42:49,692
Is this... is this our Santy?
847
00:42:49,693 --> 00:42:52,612
Is this our... our Santy Claus?
848
00:42:52,612 --> 00:42:54,197
Yeah, it is.
849
00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:56,907
To whom am I speaking?
850
00:42:56,909 --> 00:42:58,909
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.
851
00:42:58,911 --> 00:43:02,831
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?
852
00:43:02,831 --> 00:43:05,375
I want you to put down
your weapons,
853
00:43:05,376 --> 00:43:08,293
I want you to let
this family go,
854
00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:10,170
and then I want to find
my reindeer,
855
00:43:10,172 --> 00:43:12,675
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.
856
00:43:15,427 --> 00:43:16,969
Are you fucking with me?
857
00:43:16,971 --> 00:43:19,264
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?
858
00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:21,891
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?
859
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:24,351
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall
860
00:43:24,353 --> 00:43:26,603
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?
861
00:43:26,605 --> 00:43:28,021
Stop me when I get it right.
862
00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:30,315
It's a little more complicated
than that.
863
00:43:30,317 --> 00:43:31,943
Not to me, it's not.
864
00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:33,945
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,
865
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:38,282
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you
866
00:43:38,284 --> 00:43:41,952
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.
867
00:43:41,954 --> 00:43:44,496
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.
868
00:43:44,498 --> 00:43:48,626
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.
869
00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:52,380
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.
870
00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:56,342
Santa Claus is coming to town.
871
00:43:58,177 --> 00:43:59,762
(sighs)
872
00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:02,016
(trickling)
873
00:44:07,730 --> 00:44:09,188
Shit.
874
00:44:19,032 --> 00:44:20,365
All right, who did you hire
875
00:44:20,367 --> 00:44:23,036
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?
876
00:44:23,036 --> 00:44:25,079
- (gasping, coughing)
- I said, who's playing Santa
877
00:44:25,079 --> 00:44:26,539
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?
878
00:44:26,539 --> 00:44:29,458
(gasping, straining):
I didn't hire a Santa.
879
00:44:29,460 --> 00:44:32,420
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.
880
00:44:32,420 --> 00:44:33,795
SCROOGE:
So, who is he?
881
00:44:33,797 --> 00:44:36,632
d Oh, what fun
it is to ride... d
882
00:44:36,634 --> 00:44:39,510
Huh? Who is he?
883
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,054
Somebody better start talking,
884
00:44:41,054 --> 00:44:44,139
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...
885
00:44:44,141 --> 00:44:48,728
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?
886
00:44:49,896 --> 00:44:53,775
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family
887
00:44:53,775 --> 00:44:56,860
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion
888
00:44:56,862 --> 00:44:59,614
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.
889
00:44:59,614 --> 00:45:01,615
And who should I pick first?
890
00:45:01,617 --> 00:45:03,034
Should I go by age?
891
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,702
- (Trudy whimpers)
- LINDA: Shh.
892
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,371
Or should I go by IQ?
893
00:45:06,371 --> 00:45:09,831
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.
894
00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:11,876
- Yep. Him.
- The one in the sweater.
895
00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:14,253
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.
896
00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:15,505
- The number one son.
- No.
897
00:45:15,505 --> 00:45:17,005
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...
898
00:45:17,007 --> 00:45:18,423
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.
899
00:45:18,425 --> 00:45:20,592
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.
900
00:45:20,594 --> 00:45:21,802
No. No, no, no, no.
901
00:45:21,804 --> 00:45:23,304
Don't, don't, don't.
902
00:45:23,304 --> 00:45:25,597
- No, don't... Put it... Don't... No.
- (muttering)
903
00:45:25,599 --> 00:45:27,809
- No, no, no, no. No, no.
- Give me this fucking...
904
00:45:27,809 --> 00:45:30,853
- (Jason whimpers, screams)
- (snaps)
905
00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:32,355
- (grunts)
- (groaning)
906
00:45:32,356 --> 00:45:34,648
- (whimpering gasp)
- (screams)
907
00:45:34,650 --> 00:45:36,818
(groaning)
908
00:45:36,818 --> 00:45:39,528
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.
909
00:45:39,530 --> 00:45:41,155
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.
910
00:45:41,155 --> 00:45:42,197
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.
911
00:45:42,199 --> 00:45:44,324
What are we doing here? Come on.
912
00:45:44,326 --> 00:45:47,411
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.
913
00:45:47,413 --> 00:45:50,541
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.
914
00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:53,710
Okay, Candy Cane.
915
00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,085
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.
916
00:45:55,086 --> 00:45:56,295
I'm not touching his balls.
917
00:45:56,295 --> 00:45:58,005
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?
918
00:45:58,007 --> 00:45:59,632
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.
919
00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:01,092
CANDY CANE: You want me
to scoop his brains out,
920
00:46:01,092 --> 00:46:02,635
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,
921
00:46:02,635 --> 00:46:03,802
but I'm not touching his junk.
922
00:46:03,804 --> 00:46:05,221
I don't care who does it.
923
00:46:05,222 --> 00:46:06,806
I better be looking
at flat balls,
924
00:46:06,806 --> 00:46:08,056
like, in three seconds.
925
00:46:08,057 --> 00:46:10,643
I'll do it.
926
00:46:10,643 --> 00:46:11,936
Krampus. Perfect.
927
00:46:11,936 --> 00:46:13,311
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.
928
00:46:13,313 --> 00:46:14,813
That's what I love
about sociopaths.
929
00:46:14,815 --> 00:46:16,106
Always up for trying new things.
930
00:46:16,108 --> 00:46:17,442
You don't need to do this, okay?
931
00:46:17,443 --> 00:46:19,360
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.
932
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,903
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
933
00:46:21,905 --> 00:46:24,449
(panting):
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
934
00:46:24,449 --> 00:46:25,992
(Jason whimpers)
935
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:27,617
KRAMPUS:
Put your nuts in.
936
00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:28,994
Yummy, yummy.
937
00:46:28,996 --> 00:46:31,748
Stop hurting my daddy...
938
00:46:31,748 --> 00:46:34,168
or Santa will get mad.
939
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:37,210
Ah, what a cutie.
940
00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:39,297
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?
941
00:46:39,297 --> 00:46:41,215
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.
942
00:46:41,215 --> 00:46:42,092
(groans)
943
00:46:42,092 --> 00:46:43,842
He wasn't asking you.
944
00:46:43,844 --> 00:46:46,262
She's playing make-believe.
945
00:46:46,262 --> 00:46:48,514
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.
946
00:46:48,514 --> 00:46:50,516
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,
947
00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:52,434
and he said
he's going to save us.
948
00:46:52,436 --> 00:46:53,518
JASON:
No.
949
00:46:53,519 --> 00:46:55,771
- And beat you up.
- SCROOGE: Oh, is he?
950
00:46:55,773 --> 00:46:58,315
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?
951
00:46:58,317 --> 00:46:59,900
What do you say you come with me
952
00:46:59,902 --> 00:47:02,152
and we play a little game with him, huh?
- No, no, no.
953
00:47:02,153 --> 00:47:03,528
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.
954
00:47:03,530 --> 00:47:05,364
- You aren't talking to Santa.
- Yes, I am.
955
00:47:05,364 --> 00:47:06,699
No, you're not. Come on, now.
956
00:47:06,699 --> 00:47:09,534
Yes, I am.
- Damn it, Trudy, Santa isn't real!
957
00:47:09,536 --> 00:47:10,786
(gasps)
958
00:47:10,788 --> 00:47:12,206
(sighs)
959
00:47:14,958 --> 00:47:17,751
d d
960
00:47:17,753 --> 00:47:19,545
I'm sorry, honey.
961
00:47:20,505 --> 00:47:22,715
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids
962
00:47:22,715 --> 00:47:24,927
to make them feel better, okay?
963
00:47:26,929 --> 00:47:29,054
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,
964
00:47:29,056 --> 00:47:31,056
and we say they're from Santa.
965
00:47:31,057 --> 00:47:32,224
(Jason sighs)
966
00:47:32,226 --> 00:47:33,809
He's not coming to save us.
967
00:47:33,811 --> 00:47:36,019
He doesn't exist.
968
00:47:36,021 --> 00:47:38,440
It's all made-up.
969
00:47:39,983 --> 00:47:41,775
- Really?
- SCROOGE: Aw.
970
00:47:41,777 --> 00:47:44,612
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.
971
00:47:44,612 --> 00:47:46,655
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny
972
00:47:46,657 --> 00:47:48,824
- for her, too, huh?
- (Krampus chuckling)
973
00:47:48,826 --> 00:47:50,242
- LINDA: Trudy!
- Come back here!
974
00:47:50,244 --> 00:47:51,702
- Stop her!
- Trudy! -Hey!
975
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:53,204
CANDY CANE:
You idiots, stay at your posts.
976
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:54,664
LINDA:
Trudy!
977
00:47:54,664 --> 00:47:57,000
I'll find this little brat.
978
00:47:59,753 --> 00:48:02,005
(panting)
979
00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:07,635
d d
980
00:48:10,556 --> 00:48:12,599
(sighs)
981
00:48:19,438 --> 00:48:22,358
(song playing with eerie,
indistinct chanted vocal)
982
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:39,585
(song continues with eerie,
indistinct chanted vocal)
983
00:48:46,592 --> 00:48:48,635
(shuddering breaths)
984
00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:57,643
(short, pained breaths)
985
00:49:03,108 --> 00:49:04,525
Okay.
986
00:49:13,534 --> 00:49:16,413
(panting)
987
00:49:19,498 --> 00:49:20,916
(grunts)
988
00:49:20,918 --> 00:49:22,376
(exhales)
989
00:49:23,170 --> 00:49:25,003
(song ends)
990
00:49:25,005 --> 00:49:26,838
(panting)
991
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,050
(people screaming, shouting)
992
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:36,139
TRUDY (over radio):
Santa. Santa.
993
00:49:36,141 --> 00:49:38,016
- Santa!
- (gasps)
994
00:49:38,018 --> 00:49:39,684
(panting)
995
00:49:39,686 --> 00:49:41,521
This is Trudy.
996
00:49:42,356 --> 00:49:45,525
- Are you okay, Santa?
- (breathing heavily, grunting)
997
00:49:47,610 --> 00:49:49,027
Hi. Hey.
998
00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:50,862
Are you okay?
999
00:49:50,864 --> 00:49:52,697
I'm good. Uh...
1000
00:49:52,699 --> 00:49:55,076
I was just wrapping
something up.
1001
00:49:55,077 --> 00:49:57,286
I ran away and hid in the attic.
1002
00:49:57,286 --> 00:50:00,539
Okay. If you're safe...
1003
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:03,541
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?
1004
00:50:03,543 --> 00:50:08,380
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in Home Alone.
1005
00:50:08,382 --> 00:50:10,048
Okay, I don't know
what that means,
1006
00:50:10,050 --> 00:50:11,759
but, uh, yeah, do that.
1007
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,679
Just do it quietly.
1008
00:50:15,054 --> 00:50:17,056
Are you really Santa?
1009
00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:19,268
(chuckling)
1010
00:50:20,893 --> 00:50:22,896
Of course I am, sweetheart.
1011
00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:26,650
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.
1012
00:50:28,068 --> 00:50:31,278
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real
1013
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:32,989
to make them feel better.
1014
00:50:32,989 --> 00:50:35,865
He said they give us presents
1015
00:50:35,867 --> 00:50:38,159
and say they're from Santa.
1016
00:50:38,161 --> 00:50:40,288
Yeah.
1017
00:50:40,289 --> 00:50:42,539
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.
1018
00:50:42,541 --> 00:50:46,585
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.
1019
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:50,172
Kids who really believe.
1020
00:50:51,425 --> 00:50:54,342
How do you know
who really needs you?
1021
00:50:54,344 --> 00:50:56,554
Christmas magic.
1022
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,847
I'm not really sure
how it works.
1023
00:50:58,849 --> 00:51:00,182
(chuckles)
1024
00:51:06,648 --> 00:51:08,940
But, uh...
1025
00:51:08,942 --> 00:51:11,110
(sighs)
1026
00:51:11,110 --> 00:51:14,237
I remember, um...
1027
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:16,157
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.
1028
00:51:16,157 --> 00:51:18,576
She must have been
about six years old,
1029
00:51:18,577 --> 00:51:22,413
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.
1030
00:51:22,414 --> 00:51:24,831
She missed having a best friend.
1031
00:51:24,833 --> 00:51:26,166
And so I brought her
1032
00:51:26,168 --> 00:51:28,043
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.
1033
00:51:28,045 --> 00:51:29,420
Mr. Bunny.
1034
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:31,380
And then I remember
the next year,
1035
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,507
and you said you had
this amazing dream
1036
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:37,552
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...
1037
00:51:37,554 --> 00:51:38,804
To fly!
1038
00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:41,224
(laughing):
To fly. To fly.
1039
00:51:42,476 --> 00:51:46,936
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...
1040
00:51:46,938 --> 00:51:50,650
making a little girl fly?
1041
00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:56,905
But giving you a kite,
1042
00:51:56,907 --> 00:52:00,367
floating just beneath
the clouds,
1043
00:52:00,369 --> 00:52:03,204
well, it's about
as good as it gets.
1044
00:52:03,204 --> 00:52:05,081
I knew it.
1045
00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:07,458
I knew you were real, Santa.
1046
00:52:10,003 --> 00:52:13,172
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?
1047
00:52:14,925 --> 00:52:17,760
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.
1048
00:52:18,594 --> 00:52:20,887
Can you use your Christmas magic
1049
00:52:20,889 --> 00:52:23,224
to make them
love each other again?
1050
00:52:23,224 --> 00:52:25,768
I wish I had that kind of power.
1051
00:52:26,561 --> 00:52:30,313
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,
1052
00:52:30,315 --> 00:52:32,608
1,100, and...
1053
00:52:33,485 --> 00:52:36,320
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.
1054
00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:39,364
It takes work.
1055
00:52:39,365 --> 00:52:41,492
A lot of work.
1056
00:52:43,619 --> 00:52:46,038
Do you still love her?
1057
00:52:46,039 --> 00:52:47,873
Yeah, I do.
1058
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:52,378
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...
1059
00:52:53,588 --> 00:52:55,882
...the magic just goes away.
1060
00:52:57,925 --> 00:53:00,260
Hey.
1061
00:53:00,262 --> 00:53:02,054
I've got an idea.
1062
00:53:02,054 --> 00:53:03,681
This will be fun.
1063
00:53:04,724 --> 00:53:07,976
Why don't you guys
open your presents?
1064
00:53:07,978 --> 00:53:12,273
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.
1065
00:53:12,273 --> 00:53:18,237
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,
1066
00:53:18,237 --> 00:53:21,240
so this could be
your only chance.
1067
00:53:22,074 --> 00:53:23,534
Come on.
1068
00:53:23,534 --> 00:53:26,288
Where's the Christmas spirit?
1069
00:53:27,831 --> 00:53:29,916
Uh...
1070
00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:35,211
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.
1071
00:53:35,213 --> 00:53:36,547
KRAMPUS:
Did you hear that, Gertrude?
1072
00:53:36,547 --> 00:53:38,507
He got you something amazing.
1073
00:53:38,507 --> 00:53:41,427
(giggling excitedly):
Oh, what could it be?
1074
00:53:41,427 --> 00:53:43,846
Oh, my God, this is exciting.
1075
00:53:43,847 --> 00:53:46,056
Mom.
1076
00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,766
Can I call you Mom?
1077
00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:50,603
Mrs. Lightstone.
1078
00:53:52,438 --> 00:53:55,817
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...
1079
00:53:56,818 --> 00:53:58,277
...a pitch deck.
1080
00:53:59,195 --> 00:54:00,278
- Pitch deck.
- MORGAN: Yeah.
1081
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,072
It's called Explosive Force.
1082
00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:03,615
Starring me.
1083
00:54:03,617 --> 00:54:05,367
And if you look in the back,
1084
00:54:05,367 --> 00:54:08,829
there are the financial numbers.
1085
00:54:08,829 --> 00:54:12,375
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.
1086
00:54:13,626 --> 00:54:15,793
Parts of Asia, at least.
1087
00:54:15,795 --> 00:54:17,880
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,
1088
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:19,632
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.
1089
00:54:19,632 --> 00:54:23,135
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...
1090
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:26,472
gift of a golden opportunity?
1091
00:54:27,806 --> 00:54:30,059
KRAMPUS (laughing):
Oh, no.
1092
00:54:30,059 --> 00:54:31,309
(laughing)
1093
00:54:31,311 --> 00:54:33,771
Granny doesn't like it. (laughs)
1094
00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:36,398
Mother, I got you something
really special.
1095
00:54:42,655 --> 00:54:45,324
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.
1096
00:54:45,324 --> 00:54:47,367
I remember.
1097
00:54:47,369 --> 00:54:48,744
I was there.
1098
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:50,996
KRAMPUS:
She doesn't give a shit.
1099
00:54:50,996 --> 00:54:53,456
(laughing)
1100
00:54:53,458 --> 00:54:55,166
- Swing and miss again!
- (glass shatters)
1101
00:54:55,168 --> 00:54:56,460
This is so fun.
1102
00:54:56,460 --> 00:54:57,670
ALVA:
Mommy, how about another one?
1103
00:54:57,670 --> 00:54:59,380
I got you a lot of good things.
1104
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:01,422
- I'll grab one.
- Alva, Alva, sit down.
1105
00:55:01,423 --> 00:55:03,175
You've already given me one.
It's...
1106
00:55:03,175 --> 00:55:04,425
It's Jason's turn.
1107
00:55:04,427 --> 00:55:05,844
JASON:
Uh...
1108
00:55:05,844 --> 00:55:09,306
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.
1109
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:11,559
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.
1110
00:55:11,559 --> 00:55:13,936
- No. It's in the...
- Yeah, I did.
1111
00:55:13,936 --> 00:55:17,021
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...
1112
00:55:17,023 --> 00:55:19,108
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...
1113
00:55:19,108 --> 00:55:21,735
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.
1114
00:55:21,735 --> 00:55:23,195
Come on.
1115
00:55:23,195 --> 00:55:24,947
(panting quietly)
1116
00:55:24,947 --> 00:55:26,992
Thank you.
1117
00:55:28,034 --> 00:55:30,244
It's my favorite whiskey.
1118
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,914
You can skip the note.
1119
00:55:40,547 --> 00:55:42,798
d d
1120
00:55:51,974 --> 00:55:54,018
(sighs)
1121
00:55:56,271 --> 00:55:58,023
Thank you, Jason.
1122
00:56:03,402 --> 00:56:05,737
What's the card say?
1123
00:56:05,739 --> 00:56:08,657
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.
1124
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:12,786
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?
1125
00:56:15,248 --> 00:56:16,958
Right.
1126
00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:20,293
TRUDY: Did you ever have
a mommy and daddy?
1127
00:56:20,295 --> 00:56:22,086
(grunts)
1128
00:56:22,088 --> 00:56:24,130
(chuckling): Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.
1129
00:56:24,132 --> 00:56:27,802
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.
1130
00:56:28,637 --> 00:56:30,929
I had a life before this.
1131
00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:34,601
A long, long, long time ago.
1132
00:56:38,771 --> 00:56:41,898
They used to call me, uh...
1133
00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:43,817
Nicomund.
1134
00:56:43,818 --> 00:56:46,070
(flames rumbling)
1135
00:56:46,070 --> 00:56:47,570
(panting)
1136
00:56:47,572 --> 00:56:49,197
SANTA:
Nicomund the Red.
1137
00:56:49,199 --> 00:56:50,782
(people yelling)
1138
00:56:50,784 --> 00:56:53,534
TRUDY:
You had a different job then?
1139
00:56:53,536 --> 00:56:56,288
SANTA:
Yeah, you could say that.
1140
00:56:56,289 --> 00:56:58,164
I was a warrior.
1141
00:56:58,166 --> 00:57:00,250
A raider. A thief.
1142
00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:04,045
- (man screams)
- And if somebody got in my way,
1143
00:57:04,047 --> 00:57:05,797
me and Skullcrusher would...
1144
00:57:05,798 --> 00:57:07,467
TRUDY:
Who's Skullcrusher?
1145
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:11,427
Skullcrusher's my, uh...
1146
00:57:11,429 --> 00:57:14,139
my hammer.
1147
00:57:14,139 --> 00:57:16,391
My favorite hammer.
1148
00:57:16,393 --> 00:57:18,768
I was a surgeon with that thing.
1149
00:57:18,769 --> 00:57:21,230
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...
1150
00:57:21,231 --> 00:57:22,815
(makes thudding sound)
1151
00:57:22,815 --> 00:57:25,400
But why?
1152
00:57:25,402 --> 00:57:26,860
What?
1153
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:29,489
Why'd you do those things?
1154
00:57:31,449 --> 00:57:33,534
Because I was mean.
1155
00:57:34,702 --> 00:57:36,829
And I was greedy.
1156
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:41,458
And I wanted gold, jewels.
1157
00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:44,168
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,
1158
00:57:44,170 --> 00:57:46,172
I'd be top dog.
1159
00:57:47,757 --> 00:57:49,884
Well, maybe...
1160
00:57:50,885 --> 00:57:52,094
What?
1161
00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:54,222
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...
1162
00:57:55,306 --> 00:57:58,601
...maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.
1163
00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:01,686
To help.
1164
00:58:01,688 --> 00:58:03,605
What do you mean?
1165
00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:07,985
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.
1166
00:58:07,985 --> 00:58:11,405
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.
1167
00:58:11,405 --> 00:58:13,282
A best friend.
1168
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:16,952
'Cause you're good and kind.
1169
00:58:16,952 --> 00:58:20,539
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.
1170
00:58:20,539 --> 00:58:23,208
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.
1171
00:58:23,208 --> 00:58:25,628
That's why I believe.
1172
00:58:26,755 --> 00:58:29,047
(exhaling sharply)
1173
00:58:31,217 --> 00:58:32,885
Thank you.
1174
00:58:34,721 --> 00:58:38,681
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.
1175
00:58:38,682 --> 00:58:40,601
Stay safe.
1176
00:58:41,561 --> 00:58:44,480
SCROOGE: All right,
we got satellite confirmation.
1177
00:58:44,481 --> 00:58:46,606
Extraction team's on the go.
1178
00:58:46,608 --> 00:58:48,900
ETA: 30 minutes.
1179
00:58:48,902 --> 00:58:50,568
We're on schedule.
1180
00:58:50,570 --> 00:58:51,987
Everything's good.
1181
00:58:51,987 --> 00:58:53,572
- (engines revving)
- THORP: All right, fellas.
1182
00:58:53,572 --> 00:58:54,989
Look alive, look alive.
1183
00:58:54,990 --> 00:58:56,909
You all know the plan,
1184
00:58:56,909 --> 00:59:00,286
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:
1185
00:59:00,288 --> 00:59:03,081
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.
1186
00:59:03,081 --> 00:59:07,628
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?
1187
00:59:07,628 --> 00:59:09,713
ALL:
Fuck their shit up right!
1188
00:59:09,713 --> 00:59:11,382
Damn right.
1189
00:59:12,175 --> 00:59:14,885
- Time to lube up.
- (engines revving)
1190
00:59:16,012 --> 00:59:18,722
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!
1191
00:59:24,646 --> 00:59:26,898
(whispers):
This fucking family.
1192
00:59:46,166 --> 00:59:48,418
MALE VOICE (recorded):
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
1193
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:50,211
- (gasps)
- Merry Christmas.
1194
00:59:50,213 --> 00:59:51,463
Happy holidays.
1195
00:59:51,463 --> 00:59:52,588
Traitor.
1196
00:59:52,590 --> 00:59:54,048
(grunts)
1197
00:59:54,050 --> 00:59:56,050
I got him in the east wing.
1198
00:59:56,052 --> 00:59:58,512
SCROOGE: All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.
1199
00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,054
(grunting, panting)
1200
01:00:00,056 --> 01:00:02,431
(yells)
1201
01:00:02,432 --> 01:00:03,851
(gasps)
1202
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,731
(both grunting)
1203
01:00:11,818 --> 01:00:13,820
Step aside.
1204
01:00:18,199 --> 01:00:20,702
- (gunshot)
- (whooshing)
1205
01:00:22,871 --> 01:00:25,123
d d
1206
01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:30,126
SCROOGE (in other room):
Now, how did this tired, old,
1207
01:00:30,128 --> 01:00:32,795
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?
1208
01:00:32,797 --> 01:00:34,255
GINGERBREAD:
I don't know.
1209
01:00:34,257 --> 01:00:36,257
CANDY CANE:
He's not even armed.
1210
01:00:36,259 --> 01:00:38,677
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.
1211
01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:40,096
SCROOGE:
What's in there?
1212
01:00:40,847 --> 01:00:42,891
Can't see anything.
1213
01:00:46,978 --> 01:00:48,438
SCROOGE:
Here, give it to me.
1214
01:00:59,532 --> 01:01:02,034
What kind of moron...
1215
01:01:02,034 --> 01:01:04,286
carries a chess set with him?
1216
01:01:07,916 --> 01:01:09,458
What the fuck?
1217
01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:12,001
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.
1218
01:01:12,003 --> 01:01:14,211
(thuds, strings twang)
1219
01:01:14,213 --> 01:01:16,382
(chuckling)
1220
01:01:19,217 --> 01:01:22,219
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?
1221
01:01:22,221 --> 01:01:23,889
It's magic.
1222
01:01:23,889 --> 01:01:26,809
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.
1223
01:01:28,393 --> 01:01:31,146
I don't really understand
how it works, either.
1224
01:01:32,523 --> 01:01:35,567
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.
1225
01:01:35,568 --> 01:01:37,568
That's right.
1226
01:01:37,570 --> 01:01:39,362
But who are you?
1227
01:01:39,364 --> 01:01:41,407
Weihnachtsmann.
1228
01:01:42,784 --> 01:01:44,744
Julenissen.
1229
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:47,538
Shengdan Laor�n.
1230
01:01:48,373 --> 01:01:51,583
Babbo Natale, Pere Noel,
Kris Kringle.
1231
01:01:51,583 --> 01:01:54,085
Jolly old Saint Nick.
1232
01:01:54,086 --> 01:01:57,130
People call me a lot of things.
1233
01:01:57,965 --> 01:02:00,592
SCROOGE:
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
1234
01:02:00,592 --> 01:02:02,969
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?
1235
01:02:02,971 --> 01:02:06,556
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?
1236
01:02:06,556 --> 01:02:08,391
They were on the roof
1237
01:02:08,393 --> 01:02:11,018
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...
1238
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:13,646
(Santa imitates rapid gunfire)
1239
01:02:13,648 --> 01:02:15,273
You don't believe me?
1240
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:16,400
Go check.
1241
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:19,152
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.
1242
01:02:19,152 --> 01:02:20,987
SCROOGE:
This fucking guy.
1243
01:02:20,989 --> 01:02:22,697
You don't think...
1244
01:02:22,699 --> 01:02:25,867
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.
1245
01:02:25,867 --> 01:02:27,952
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus
1246
01:02:27,954 --> 01:02:29,954
with a fucking trick bag.
1247
01:02:29,956 --> 01:02:31,956
SANTA:
Oh, no!
1248
01:02:31,958 --> 01:02:33,791
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!
1249
01:02:33,793 --> 01:02:35,585
SCROOGE:
Oh, come on.
1250
01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:37,880
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.
1251
01:02:38,672 --> 01:02:41,298
My father used to make
a big deal out of it
1252
01:02:41,300 --> 01:02:43,092
every Christmas.
1253
01:02:43,094 --> 01:02:45,262
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents
1254
01:02:45,262 --> 01:02:47,472
and the candy
and the decorations
1255
01:02:47,472 --> 01:02:51,268
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.
1256
01:02:52,644 --> 01:02:54,938
And then when I was...
1257
01:02:54,938 --> 01:02:58,358
I don't know, ten, 11,
1258
01:02:58,358 --> 01:03:00,318
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,
1259
01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:01,820
couldn't even afford a tree.
1260
01:03:01,820 --> 01:03:03,362
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.
1261
01:03:03,364 --> 01:03:05,992
Nothing, nada, culo, dick.
1262
01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:08,159
But our neighbors...
1263
01:03:08,161 --> 01:03:10,036
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.
1264
01:03:10,038 --> 01:03:11,829
I could see
all that yuletide cheer
1265
01:03:11,831 --> 01:03:14,373
through their window mocking me.
1266
01:03:14,375 --> 01:03:18,295
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...
1267
01:03:18,295 --> 01:03:21,338
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.
1268
01:03:21,340 --> 01:03:24,677
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.
1269
01:03:25,677 --> 01:03:28,221
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss
1270
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:30,639
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.
1271
01:03:30,641 --> 01:03:33,684
And, um, he fell down the stairs
1272
01:03:33,686 --> 01:03:38,231
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.
1273
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:39,858
Everybody thought that I did it,
1274
01:03:39,858 --> 01:03:41,358
and every time
I tried to tell them,
1275
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,862
I tried to tell them that...
1276
01:03:45,322 --> 01:03:47,699
Anyway, maybe I did do it.
1277
01:03:47,699 --> 01:03:49,742
Maybe I did push him.
1278
01:03:49,744 --> 01:03:51,536
Poor old fucker.
1279
01:03:51,536 --> 01:03:55,039
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.
1280
01:03:55,041 --> 01:03:56,708
Okay? But you know what?
1281
01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:58,043
It set me on the path
1282
01:03:58,043 --> 01:04:00,086
and made me the great man
that I am today.
1283
01:04:00,088 --> 01:04:02,130
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
1284
01:04:02,923 --> 01:04:04,467
I really am.
1285
01:04:05,300 --> 01:04:07,344
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.
1286
01:04:07,344 --> 01:04:09,554
I don't get involved
in people's lives.
1287
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:13,434
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!
1288
01:04:17,938 --> 01:04:21,108
Um, how did he know your name?
1289
01:04:21,108 --> 01:04:22,818
Oh, Bjorn.
1290
01:04:22,818 --> 01:04:24,945
What's your excuse?
1291
01:04:24,945 --> 01:04:26,530
Huh?
1292
01:04:26,530 --> 01:04:29,865
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?
1293
01:04:29,867 --> 01:04:33,077
One you wrote me 50 times about!
1294
01:04:33,079 --> 01:04:34,579
What about you, Kira?
1295
01:04:34,579 --> 01:04:37,748
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.
1296
01:04:37,750 --> 01:04:39,251
That's naughty!
1297
01:04:39,251 --> 01:04:41,168
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?
1298
01:04:41,170 --> 01:04:44,588
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"
1299
01:04:44,590 --> 01:04:46,800
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.
1300
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,927
You're gonna tell me who you work for...
- Oh, Christ. No.
1301
01:04:49,929 --> 01:04:53,222
...then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.
1302
01:04:53,224 --> 01:04:56,059
Five, four, three, two...
1303
01:04:56,059 --> 01:04:57,768
I'm Santa Claus!
1304
01:04:57,769 --> 01:05:00,063
Well, not anymore.
1305
01:05:01,773 --> 01:05:04,025
d d
1306
01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:26,797
GINGERBREAD:
Is it snowing?
1307
01:05:26,798 --> 01:05:30,219
CANDY CANE: Is he doing this
with Santa magic?
1308
01:05:36,726 --> 01:05:39,103
Let it snow!
1309
01:05:50,822 --> 01:05:52,824
It's not snow.
1310
01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:54,159
It's Styrofoam.
1311
01:05:54,159 --> 01:05:56,411
I told you this guy's
a big phony.
1312
01:05:56,411 --> 01:05:58,164
(grunts)
1313
01:05:59,916 --> 01:06:02,168
(whooshing)
1314
01:06:05,838 --> 01:06:08,090
(groaning)
1315
01:06:09,175 --> 01:06:10,842
(grunts, sighs)
1316
01:06:10,842 --> 01:06:12,719
Where'd he go?
1317
01:06:12,719 --> 01:06:14,346
GINGERBREAD:
He went up the chimney.
1318
01:06:14,347 --> 01:06:16,014
- I saw it.
- SCROOGE: I don't know,
1319
01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:17,849
he had a rig
or some pulley system
1320
01:06:17,849 --> 01:06:19,851
- that just yanked him up.
- You can't fit up there.
1321
01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:21,561
- It's impossible.
- Oh, you see one weird thing,
1322
01:06:21,561 --> 01:06:23,896
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?
1323
01:06:23,898 --> 01:06:25,190
KRAMPUS (over radio):
Incoming.
1324
01:06:25,190 --> 01:06:26,067
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.
1325
01:06:26,068 --> 01:06:27,858
Oh, my God.
1326
01:06:27,860 --> 01:06:29,737
It's his reindeer.
1327
01:06:31,364 --> 01:06:33,364
- (hits table)
- It's the extraction team.
1328
01:06:33,365 --> 01:06:35,574
Pull yourselves together!
1329
01:06:35,576 --> 01:06:38,246
(engines revving)
1330
01:06:41,039 --> 01:06:43,251
d d
1331
01:06:47,213 --> 01:06:49,382
(engines revving in distance)
1332
01:06:50,507 --> 01:06:54,802
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.
1333
01:06:54,804 --> 01:06:56,262
(Bert laughing)
1334
01:06:56,264 --> 01:06:58,347
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.
1335
01:06:58,349 --> 01:07:00,557
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.
1336
01:07:00,559 --> 01:07:02,018
Fu... (grunts)
1337
01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:03,186
(gasps) Bertie.
1338
01:07:03,186 --> 01:07:04,728
Hashtag "blessed."
1339
01:07:04,730 --> 01:07:07,773
(yells, grunts)
1340
01:07:07,775 --> 01:07:10,402
Yeah! (yells)
1341
01:07:10,402 --> 01:07:11,402
Parkour.
1342
01:07:11,403 --> 01:07:12,570
Kill him, babe!
1343
01:07:12,570 --> 01:07:15,240
- (yells) Oh!
- (others gasping)
1344
01:07:16,117 --> 01:07:17,742
Morgan's gonna save us.
1345
01:07:19,494 --> 01:07:23,248
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.
1346
01:07:30,255 --> 01:07:32,257
Hold your fire.
1347
01:07:32,257 --> 01:07:33,882
Barrel roll!
1348
01:07:33,884 --> 01:07:35,592
(grunting, panting)
1349
01:07:35,594 --> 01:07:36,885
Easy, easy.
1350
01:07:36,887 --> 01:07:38,804
- (grunts) Yeah!
- Easy.
1351
01:07:38,806 --> 01:07:40,097
Identify yourself.
1352
01:07:40,099 --> 01:07:42,474
I'm one of the hostages.
1353
01:07:42,476 --> 01:07:45,603
Morgan Steel, the actor.
1354
01:07:45,603 --> 01:07:48,606
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.
1355
01:07:48,606 --> 01:07:52,193
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.
1356
01:07:53,028 --> 01:07:54,945
What's the situation inside?
1357
01:07:54,947 --> 01:07:57,364
Bunch of ex-military guys,
1358
01:07:57,365 --> 01:07:59,367
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.
1359
01:07:59,367 --> 01:08:01,036
I think they're ready for you.
1360
01:08:01,036 --> 01:08:02,871
They better be.
1361
01:08:02,871 --> 01:08:04,956
We're on a tight schedule.
1362
01:08:04,956 --> 01:08:06,791
Shit.
1363
01:08:10,128 --> 01:08:12,255
(gasps) Oh, f...
1364
01:08:12,255 --> 01:08:15,550
- All right, let's move out.
- Let's move out.
1365
01:08:19,721 --> 01:08:21,347
Come on.
1366
01:08:21,349 --> 01:08:23,557
You got to be kidding me.
1367
01:08:23,559 --> 01:08:25,268
SCROOGE: Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.
1368
01:08:25,269 --> 01:08:26,644
What kept you?
1369
01:08:26,645 --> 01:08:28,979
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.
1370
01:08:28,980 --> 01:08:31,440
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?
1371
01:08:31,442 --> 01:08:33,693
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around
1372
01:08:33,694 --> 01:08:36,279
complicating shit
and causing problems.
1373
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:37,863
Who? Lightstone security?
1374
01:08:37,864 --> 01:08:39,448
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.
1375
01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:40,867
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,
1376
01:08:40,868 --> 01:08:43,078
there's something weird
about him.
1377
01:08:43,078 --> 01:08:44,703
Might be the real Santa.
1378
01:08:44,704 --> 01:08:47,164
- The fuck did she just say?
- SCROOGE: Nothing, nothing.
1379
01:08:47,166 --> 01:08:48,248
She's joking.
1380
01:08:48,250 --> 01:08:50,752
My squad will take care of it.
1381
01:08:53,130 --> 01:08:55,840
Beta Team, go find this asshole.
1382
01:08:55,841 --> 01:08:57,841
Go.
1383
01:08:57,842 --> 01:09:02,180
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?
1384
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:04,431
All right, you heard the man.
1385
01:09:04,432 --> 01:09:07,060
Time to kill Santa.
1386
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:09,520
I've got him. He's on the roof.
1387
01:09:09,521 --> 01:09:11,815
Roger that. I got eyes on him.
1388
01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:18,530
(gasping)
1389
01:09:19,698 --> 01:09:21,574
(screams)
1390
01:09:22,701 --> 01:09:25,161
(groaning)
1391
01:09:25,162 --> 01:09:27,372
(panting, grunting)
1392
01:09:29,207 --> 01:09:31,208
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.
1393
01:09:31,210 --> 01:09:33,211
(tapping keys)
1394
01:09:33,212 --> 01:09:35,463
(clunking, whirring)
1395
01:09:38,175 --> 01:09:40,051
Here we go.
1396
01:09:40,051 --> 01:09:41,427
Our skeleton key.
1397
01:09:41,429 --> 01:09:43,304
The "open" magic stick.
1398
01:09:43,305 --> 01:09:45,014
This better fucking work.
1399
01:09:45,015 --> 01:09:47,684
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.
1400
01:09:47,685 --> 01:09:50,479
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.
1401
01:09:59,404 --> 01:10:00,904
THORP:
As a kid, I loved
1402
01:10:00,905 --> 01:10:02,948
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much
1403
01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:05,911
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.
1404
01:10:06,828 --> 01:10:09,247
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.
1405
01:10:13,210 --> 01:10:15,421
d d
1406
01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:23,802
Is this a fucking joke?
1407
01:10:23,804 --> 01:10:25,014
No.
1408
01:10:26,390 --> 01:10:28,307
THORP: You said it would
fucking be here!
1409
01:10:28,309 --> 01:10:31,935
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.
1410
01:10:31,936 --> 01:10:34,230
I had guys on the inside.
1411
01:10:35,274 --> 01:10:38,984
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday
1412
01:10:38,985 --> 01:10:41,279
to this fucking mansion.
1413
01:10:46,284 --> 01:10:48,953
Somebody must've intercepted it.
1414
01:10:52,957 --> 01:10:55,002
Son of a bitch.
1415
01:10:57,421 --> 01:11:00,341
(groaning)
1416
01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:08,806
(panting)
1417
01:11:15,146 --> 01:11:17,398
(groans)
1418
01:11:17,399 --> 01:11:18,942
Oh, shit.
1419
01:11:18,943 --> 01:11:21,485
Santa, you okay?
1420
01:11:21,487 --> 01:11:23,070
(over radio):
Santa.
1421
01:11:23,072 --> 01:11:25,364
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.
1422
01:11:25,365 --> 01:11:27,158
They're on the naughty list.
1423
01:11:27,158 --> 01:11:30,162
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.
1424
01:11:30,996 --> 01:11:33,581
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.
1425
01:11:33,582 --> 01:11:35,375
No, no, don't say that.
1426
01:11:35,376 --> 01:11:37,377
The naughty list...
1427
01:11:37,377 --> 01:11:39,796
just grows and grows.
1428
01:11:46,345 --> 01:11:48,512
(device whirring)
1429
01:11:48,514 --> 01:11:52,350
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.
1430
01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:54,435
TRUDY:
Don't give up.
1431
01:11:54,435 --> 01:11:57,020
You make a wish this time,
Santa.
1432
01:11:57,021 --> 01:11:58,648
Just this once.
1433
01:11:58,649 --> 01:12:01,568
If you could have anything
in this world,
1434
01:12:01,569 --> 01:12:03,820
what would it be?
1435
01:12:09,534 --> 01:12:12,578
SANTA: I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,
1436
01:12:12,579 --> 01:12:15,707
tell her how much I love her.
1437
01:12:15,707 --> 01:12:18,542
Then you make
that wish come true.
1438
01:12:18,543 --> 01:12:20,712
- (ring clinking)
- Oh, shit.
1439
01:12:20,712 --> 01:12:23,046
No, no, no, no. No, no.
1440
01:12:23,047 --> 01:12:24,798
(grunting)
1441
01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:26,216
Oh, God.
1442
01:12:26,217 --> 01:12:29,054
(grunts) No.
1443
01:12:31,222 --> 01:12:33,434
d d
1444
01:12:41,442 --> 01:12:44,444
You said these guys,
they're naughty.
1445
01:12:44,444 --> 01:12:47,404
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?
1446
01:12:47,405 --> 01:12:49,282
I give them a lump of coal.
1447
01:12:49,283 --> 01:12:51,534
Yeah. Give them their lumps.
1448
01:12:52,744 --> 01:12:55,037
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...
1449
01:12:55,038 --> 01:12:57,289
- Anuses.
- Yeah!
1450
01:12:57,291 --> 01:12:59,042
d d
1451
01:13:03,255 --> 01:13:04,921
They're right outside.
1452
01:13:04,922 --> 01:13:06,341
(whooshing)
1453
01:13:06,341 --> 01:13:08,135
d d
1454
01:13:19,104 --> 01:13:21,605
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys
1455
01:13:21,606 --> 01:13:23,734
like a plate full of cookies.
1456
01:13:24,525 --> 01:13:26,779
(whispering)
1457
01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:29,657
Move, move.
1458
01:13:33,327 --> 01:13:35,119
Hey, lock it up.
1459
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:38,873
Lights down.
1460
01:13:40,042 --> 01:13:41,958
Stay at my back.
1461
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:44,087
All right, we got this, boys.
1462
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,756
(fierce grunting)
1463
01:13:46,422 --> 01:13:48,884
(yelling in pain)
1464
01:13:53,055 --> 01:13:55,390
- (yelps, groans)
- (neck snaps)
1465
01:13:55,390 --> 01:13:57,643
d d
1466
01:14:00,186 --> 01:14:01,645
(gasps)
1467
01:14:01,646 --> 01:14:02,939
(pained yelling)
1468
01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:05,315
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!
1469
01:14:05,317 --> 01:14:07,694
Where's the money?!
1470
01:14:09,154 --> 01:14:11,155
(yells)
1471
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:21,248
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.
1472
01:14:21,250 --> 01:14:22,708
But that's all over.
1473
01:14:22,710 --> 01:14:24,502
No more fucking games!
1474
01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:26,002
Where's the money?
1475
01:14:26,003 --> 01:14:29,048
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.
1476
01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:35,930
- It's in the vault.
- I just looked in the vault.
1477
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,347
Had the money been in there,
1478
01:14:37,349 --> 01:14:39,182
I'd have a different
expression on my face.
1479
01:14:39,184 --> 01:14:40,560
Impossible.
1480
01:14:40,560 --> 01:14:42,645
Takes days to get
into that thing.
1481
01:14:42,645 --> 01:14:46,149
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.
1482
01:14:47,525 --> 01:14:49,569
GERTRUDE:
Thorp.
1483
01:14:49,569 --> 01:14:50,944
(sighs)
1484
01:14:50,945 --> 01:14:53,530
You can't trust anyone
these days.
1485
01:14:53,532 --> 01:14:55,699
SCROOGE:
I'm not sure how, but you
1486
01:14:55,701 --> 01:14:58,578
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.
1487
01:14:58,578 --> 01:15:00,454
And this upsets me.
1488
01:15:00,456 --> 01:15:02,289
It upsets me
1489
01:15:02,291 --> 01:15:06,295
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.
1490
01:15:07,296 --> 01:15:09,505
Hold on. Just... Sorry.
1491
01:15:09,506 --> 01:15:10,922
- Um...
- What? What?
1492
01:15:10,923 --> 01:15:12,300
Uh, what if you randomly shoot
1493
01:15:12,301 --> 01:15:14,886
the only person
who knows where it is?
1494
01:15:15,887 --> 01:15:18,221
Oh, fuck you people!
1495
01:15:18,222 --> 01:15:20,225
d d
1496
01:15:22,810 --> 01:15:27,899
d We waited
all through the year d
1497
01:15:28,775 --> 01:15:33,820
d For the day to appear d
1498
01:15:33,822 --> 01:15:35,698
(grunting and groaning)
1499
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:41,496
d When we could be together d
1500
01:15:41,497 --> 01:15:43,997
d In harmony d
1501
01:15:43,998 --> 01:15:45,248
(yells)
1502
01:15:45,250 --> 01:15:47,585
d You know the time will come d
1503
01:15:47,586 --> 01:15:50,546
(grunts, screams)
1504
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:52,881
d Peace on Earth for everyone d
1505
01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:54,466
SANTA:
Suck on this.
1506
01:15:54,467 --> 01:15:57,095
(grunting, gurgling)
1507
01:15:58,889 --> 01:16:03,768
d And we can live forever d
1508
01:16:03,769 --> 01:16:07,020
d In a world where we are free d
1509
01:16:07,021 --> 01:16:10,106
d Let it shine for you and me d
1510
01:16:10,108 --> 01:16:13,277
d There's something
about Christmastime d
1511
01:16:13,278 --> 01:16:16,447
d Something about
Christmastime d
1512
01:16:16,448 --> 01:16:19,449
d That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... d
1513
01:16:19,451 --> 01:16:20,952
I need some feedback, guys.
1514
01:16:20,953 --> 01:16:22,537
(grunting and yelling
over monitor)
1515
01:16:22,537 --> 01:16:24,497
Guys, what the hell is going on?
1516
01:16:25,289 --> 01:16:28,125
d The way that
the old folks smile d
1517
01:16:28,126 --> 01:16:32,756
d Says that Christmas
will never go away d
1518
01:16:34,298 --> 01:16:39,136
- d We're all as one tonight d
- (grunting and groaning)
1519
01:16:39,136 --> 01:16:43,850
d Makes no difference
if you're Black or white d
1520
01:16:43,850 --> 01:16:46,769
(grunting and groaning continue)
1521
01:16:46,770 --> 01:16:49,479
d 'Cause we can sing together d
1522
01:16:49,480 --> 01:16:51,983
(screaming)
1523
01:16:51,984 --> 01:16:54,194
d In harmony d
1524
01:16:56,113 --> 01:17:00,908
d I know it's not too late d
1525
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:03,869
d The world would be d
1526
01:17:03,871 --> 01:17:07,291
- d A better place d
- (engine starts, rumbles)
1527
01:17:09,501 --> 01:17:10,917
- What's that?
- Huh?
1528
01:17:10,918 --> 01:17:13,003
d If we can keep the spirit d
1529
01:17:13,005 --> 01:17:15,006
(grunting and groaning continue)
1530
01:17:15,006 --> 01:17:17,341
d More than one day
in the year d
1531
01:17:17,341 --> 01:17:21,721
d Send a message
loud and clear d
1532
01:17:23,015 --> 01:17:25,932
d There's something
about Christmastime d
1533
01:17:25,934 --> 01:17:28,476
d Something about
Christmastime d
1534
01:17:28,478 --> 01:17:32,814
d That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day d
1535
01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:34,859
(grunting, screaming)
1536
01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:38,404
d To see the joy
in the children's eyes d
1537
01:17:38,404 --> 01:17:41,282
d The way that
the old folks smile d
1538
01:17:41,283 --> 01:17:46,329
d Says that Christmas
will never go away d
1539
01:17:47,122 --> 01:17:49,916
d It's the time of year
when everyone's together... d
1540
01:17:49,917 --> 01:17:52,043
Jesus Christ.
1541
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:55,212
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.
1542
01:17:55,212 --> 01:17:57,631
d Here on Christmas Day d
1543
01:17:57,632 --> 01:17:59,175
(grunts)
1544
01:17:59,176 --> 01:18:02,929
d When the ones you love
are there d
1545
01:18:02,930 --> 01:18:07,766
d You can feel the magic
in the air... d
1546
01:18:07,768 --> 01:18:10,519
- (grunts) Oh, God!
- There you go.
1547
01:18:10,520 --> 01:18:12,229
A little stocking stuffer.
1548
01:18:13,023 --> 01:18:16,609
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1549
01:18:16,609 --> 01:18:19,069
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1550
01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:21,782
- I got to watch.
- Fuck!
1551
01:18:22,908 --> 01:18:25,117
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.
1552
01:18:25,118 --> 01:18:27,411
d Christmas will never
go away. d
1553
01:18:27,412 --> 01:18:30,122
Gertrude would never
trust anybody
1554
01:18:30,122 --> 01:18:32,582
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.
1555
01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:34,292
So...
1556
01:18:34,293 --> 01:18:37,921
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,
1557
01:18:37,922 --> 01:18:40,466
which means
that I can shoot her...
1558
01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:42,009
(gasping)
1559
01:18:42,010 --> 01:18:44,011
...unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.
1560
01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:46,262
LINDA: Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.
1561
01:18:46,264 --> 01:18:48,100
Shut up!
1562
01:18:48,975 --> 01:18:50,393
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out
1563
01:18:50,394 --> 01:18:51,810
unless you tell me
where the money went.
1564
01:18:51,811 --> 01:18:54,020
I did it!
1565
01:18:54,021 --> 01:18:56,439
- What?
- JASON: Okay. Yeah, I did it.
1566
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:58,359
- I moved the money.
- No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.
1567
01:18:58,359 --> 01:19:00,110
- What?
- The money's our only leverage.
1568
01:19:00,112 --> 01:19:01,695
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...
1569
01:19:01,697 --> 01:19:03,780
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?
1570
01:19:03,782 --> 01:19:05,448
I didn't. I was stealing it.
1571
01:19:05,449 --> 01:19:06,617
(Linda sighs)
1572
01:19:06,618 --> 01:19:08,077
- Yeah, coincidence.
- ALVA: Oh, my God.
1573
01:19:08,078 --> 01:19:09,453
I was planning to take the money
1574
01:19:09,453 --> 01:19:12,622
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight
1575
01:19:12,623 --> 01:19:14,625
and never come back here.
1576
01:19:14,626 --> 01:19:18,003
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,
1577
01:19:18,005 --> 01:19:20,006
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning
1578
01:19:20,006 --> 01:19:21,798
and know what I had done.
1579
01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:24,092
For years,
I have been telling you
1580
01:19:24,094 --> 01:19:26,470
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!
1581
01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:29,725
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.
1582
01:19:30,516 --> 01:19:32,726
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid
1583
01:19:32,728 --> 01:19:34,228
when you say it like that.
1584
01:19:34,229 --> 01:19:36,229
ALVA:
How can you do this right now?
1585
01:19:36,230 --> 01:19:38,314
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?
1586
01:19:38,315 --> 01:19:40,525
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,
1587
01:19:40,527 --> 01:19:41,819
she made damn sure we knew
1588
01:19:41,819 --> 01:19:43,069
she had the power
to take right back.
1589
01:19:43,070 --> 01:19:46,948
I have spent years
groveling to you.
1590
01:19:46,949 --> 01:19:49,743
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying
1591
01:19:49,744 --> 01:19:51,787
the only good thing in my life.
1592
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:53,163
KRAMPUS:
What are we doing here, huh?
1593
01:19:53,164 --> 01:19:55,791
Family therapy or doing a heist?
1594
01:19:55,792 --> 01:19:59,045
Yeah, enough of this sharing bullshit.
- (Linda gasps)
1595
01:19:59,046 --> 01:20:01,006
All right. Where'd you put it?
1596
01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:07,177
(Candy Cane scoffs)
1597
01:20:07,179 --> 01:20:09,847
Look at this little idiot.
1598
01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:14,935
Oh, no.
1599
01:20:14,935 --> 01:20:16,770
What?
1600
01:20:16,771 --> 01:20:18,689
- The bad guys found me.
- Okay.
1601
01:20:18,689 --> 01:20:20,524
I'm coming.
1602
01:20:27,114 --> 01:20:31,036
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.
1603
01:20:33,704 --> 01:20:35,207
You little moron.
1604
01:20:38,251 --> 01:20:40,587
- (yelling)
- Jesus! Shit!
1605
01:20:41,378 --> 01:20:43,715
(Gingerbread continues yelling)
1606
01:20:44,466 --> 01:20:46,634
GINGERBREAD:
Help me! Help me! Help!
1607
01:20:46,635 --> 01:20:48,051
(yelling, gurgling)
1608
01:20:48,052 --> 01:20:50,179
You'll be f... (gags)
You'll be fine.
1609
01:20:50,180 --> 01:20:52,349
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.
1610
01:20:53,809 --> 01:20:55,225
(pained yelling)
1611
01:20:55,226 --> 01:20:57,561
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!
1612
01:21:00,314 --> 01:21:02,733
(panting)
You little fucking brat.
1613
01:21:02,734 --> 01:21:04,903
(creaking)
1614
01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:10,492
(grunts, whimpers)
1615
01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,127
(grunts)
1616
01:21:21,962 --> 01:21:24,463
(screams)
1617
01:21:28,426 --> 01:21:29,844
(grunts)
1618
01:21:29,845 --> 01:21:31,845
(yelling)
1619
01:21:31,846 --> 01:21:33,430
(squishing)
1620
01:21:33,430 --> 01:21:36,143
(screaming)
1621
01:21:38,270 --> 01:21:40,688
(grunts, yelps)
1622
01:21:40,689 --> 01:21:43,440
(gasping breaths)
1623
01:21:44,234 --> 01:21:45,734
(yells in pain)
1624
01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:47,945
(whimpering)
1625
01:21:49,905 --> 01:21:51,157
(grunts)
1626
01:21:51,158 --> 01:21:52,949
You're dead!
1627
01:21:52,951 --> 01:21:55,453
You're so fucking dead!
1628
01:22:02,627 --> 01:22:05,087
Fucking piece of shit.
1629
01:22:10,135 --> 01:22:12,970
(scoffs) You little...
1630
01:22:22,730 --> 01:22:24,565
(gasping)
1631
01:22:27,777 --> 01:22:30,237
(grunting)
1632
01:22:30,238 --> 01:22:32,282
- Incoming!
- (gasps)
1633
01:22:35,659 --> 01:22:38,412
(straining)
1634
01:22:39,831 --> 01:22:41,122
(yelps)
1635
01:22:41,123 --> 01:22:42,417
(chuckles)
1636
01:22:44,127 --> 01:22:46,502
(straining)
1637
01:22:46,503 --> 01:22:47,671
(gasps)
1638
01:22:48,965 --> 01:22:51,007
(groaning)
1639
01:22:51,009 --> 01:22:52,842
(screams) Son of a fucking...
1640
01:22:52,844 --> 01:22:54,304
(chuckles)
1641
01:22:57,599 --> 01:22:59,184
- (crunching)
- (screaming)
1642
01:23:00,769 --> 01:23:02,895
(groaning)
1643
01:23:02,895 --> 01:23:04,854
Fuck. (whimpers)
1644
01:23:04,855 --> 01:23:06,649
I got you now, kid.
1645
01:23:06,649 --> 01:23:08,318
Yeah? Heads up.
1646
01:23:08,902 --> 01:23:10,444
(chuckles)
1647
01:23:10,444 --> 01:23:12,070
That's all you got?
You fucking...
1648
01:23:12,072 --> 01:23:14,907
(grunts, groans)
1649
01:23:14,908 --> 01:23:17,452
Enough of this shit. (spits)
1650
01:23:25,042 --> 01:23:27,253
d d
1651
01:23:31,006 --> 01:23:33,217
(panting)
1652
01:23:40,432 --> 01:23:42,226
(hammer drops to floor)
1653
01:23:43,019 --> 01:23:44,229
Santa!
1654
01:23:45,229 --> 01:23:47,314
(Santa grunts)
1655
01:23:54,154 --> 01:23:56,407
Hi, Trudy. Hi.
1656
01:23:56,408 --> 01:23:59,243
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.
1657
01:23:59,243 --> 01:24:01,869
(chuckling):
Ho, ho, ho.
1658
01:24:01,871 --> 01:24:03,579
(rustling)
1659
01:24:03,581 --> 01:24:05,417
(grunting weakly)
1660
01:24:07,752 --> 01:24:11,672
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.
1661
01:24:12,506 --> 01:24:15,426
Just turn around
and close your eyes.
1662
01:24:15,426 --> 01:24:18,261
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,
1663
01:24:18,262 --> 01:24:21,306
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.
1664
01:24:21,307 --> 01:24:23,309
d Jingle bells, jingle bells d
1665
01:24:23,310 --> 01:24:25,601
d Jingle all the way d
1666
01:24:25,603 --> 01:24:27,854
d Oh, how fun it is to ride... d
1667
01:24:27,855 --> 01:24:30,815
You were about to murder
an innocent child.
1668
01:24:30,817 --> 01:24:32,150
d Jingle bells,
jingle bells... d
1669
01:24:32,152 --> 01:24:33,777
Innocent?
1670
01:24:33,778 --> 01:24:35,779
- It's naughty.
- (Trudy continues singing)
1671
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:37,239
Naughty.
1672
01:24:37,990 --> 01:24:39,449
- Naughty!
- (squishing thud)
1673
01:24:39,451 --> 01:24:41,159
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.
1674
01:24:41,161 --> 01:24:42,786
We're horrible people.
1675
01:24:42,787 --> 01:24:44,662
So I get why you did
what you did.
1676
01:24:44,663 --> 01:24:46,748
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company
1677
01:24:46,750 --> 01:24:49,167
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,
1678
01:24:49,168 --> 01:24:51,170
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.
1679
01:24:51,171 --> 01:24:52,628
But the point is,
1680
01:24:52,630 --> 01:24:54,381
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.
1681
01:24:54,381 --> 01:24:56,050
I'm proud of you, son.
1682
01:24:56,051 --> 01:24:57,509
All right, where the hell is it?
1683
01:24:57,510 --> 01:24:59,845
(choral Christmas music
playing over speakers)
1684
01:24:59,845 --> 01:25:01,765
The money's hidden inside.
1685
01:25:02,931 --> 01:25:06,060
SCROOGE: And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts
1686
01:25:06,060 --> 01:25:08,896
of frankincense, myrrh...
1687
01:25:11,024 --> 01:25:14,109
...and cold hard cash.
1688
01:25:14,109 --> 01:25:15,569
Load it up, boys.
1689
01:25:15,569 --> 01:25:17,820
All right,
we're securing the money.
1690
01:25:17,822 --> 01:25:19,907
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.
1691
01:25:19,908 --> 01:25:21,699
What?
1692
01:25:21,701 --> 01:25:23,702
No. (grunts)
1693
01:25:23,703 --> 01:25:25,496
d d
1694
01:25:25,497 --> 01:25:26,954
BERT:
Mom.
1695
01:25:26,956 --> 01:25:28,332
It's fine, Bert.
1696
01:25:28,332 --> 01:25:29,832
Everything's fine.
1697
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:31,918
Okay.
1698
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:33,837
Everybody, get up.
1699
01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:38,341
(singsongy):
It's time for a murder.
1700
01:25:38,342 --> 01:25:40,927
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.
1701
01:25:40,929 --> 01:25:42,261
You really don't.
1702
01:25:42,262 --> 01:25:44,430
Oh, yes, I do.
1703
01:25:44,431 --> 01:25:47,518
I really, really, really do.
1704
01:25:47,519 --> 01:25:49,228
And I'm gonna start with you.
1705
01:25:49,229 --> 01:25:50,561
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1706
01:25:50,563 --> 01:25:52,162
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1707
01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:55,274
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.
1708
01:25:55,275 --> 01:25:57,027
What the hell, Bert?
1709
01:25:57,028 --> 01:25:59,113
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit
1710
01:25:59,113 --> 01:26:00,655
before you die, Bertrude?
1711
01:26:00,657 --> 01:26:02,282
- I say shoot him first.
- BERT: What?
1712
01:26:02,283 --> 01:26:04,368
ALVA: Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.
1713
01:26:04,368 --> 01:26:06,412
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him
1714
01:26:06,412 --> 01:26:08,122
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.
1715
01:26:08,122 --> 01:26:09,832
Okay. I changed my mind.
1716
01:26:09,832 --> 01:26:11,792
Shoot the alcoholic bitch first.
- Don't call my mom
1717
01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:13,877
- an alcoholic bitch.
- Your mom's an alcoholic.
1718
01:26:13,877 --> 01:26:15,712
- I'm sorry.
- You're a gold-digging bitch.
1719
01:26:15,712 --> 01:26:17,881
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?
1720
01:26:17,881 --> 01:26:19,550
You're not even part
of the fucking family.
1721
01:26:19,551 --> 01:26:22,301
- She's an engineer.
- You know goddamn well...
1722
01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:23,680
Shut up!
1723
01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:27,390
(sighs)
1724
01:26:27,391 --> 01:26:31,479
Just like rats in a barrel.
1725
01:26:32,271 --> 01:26:34,439
Why don't you die
with some dignity?
1726
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:36,274
- (grunts)
- (flame whooshes)
1727
01:26:36,275 --> 01:26:38,528
(yelling, grunting)
1728
01:26:39,487 --> 01:26:41,404
Get off of me!
1729
01:26:41,405 --> 01:26:43,157
ALVA:
Okay, okay.
1730
01:26:43,158 --> 01:26:44,408
BERT:
Fuck you!
1731
01:26:44,408 --> 01:26:46,993
LINDA:
This is for yelling at my child!
1732
01:26:46,994 --> 01:26:48,412
ALVA:
Creep!
1733
01:26:48,412 --> 01:26:49,954
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!
1734
01:26:49,956 --> 01:26:52,039
ALVA: This is for
your dumb fucking hat!
1735
01:26:52,041 --> 01:26:54,461
(grunting, yelling continue)
1736
01:26:57,212 --> 01:26:59,340
(all panting)
1737
01:27:01,676 --> 01:27:03,342
Is he...
1738
01:27:03,344 --> 01:27:04,887
Is he dead?
1739
01:27:08,765 --> 01:27:10,643
Yeah.
1740
01:27:11,435 --> 01:27:13,060
Thanks, Linda.
1741
01:27:13,061 --> 01:27:16,273
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.
1742
01:27:16,274 --> 01:27:17,440
(laughter)
1743
01:27:17,442 --> 01:27:19,150
- (grunts)
- (screaming) -Oh, shit!
1744
01:27:19,152 --> 01:27:21,028
KRAMPUS:
I'm gonna... (grunts)
1745
01:27:21,029 --> 01:27:23,614
(gurgling)
1746
01:27:25,115 --> 01:27:26,658
ALVA:
That was for Morgan.
1747
01:27:26,658 --> 01:27:31,663
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.
1748
01:27:33,041 --> 01:27:35,417
Oh. Trudy!
1749
01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:37,836
- Mommy!
- (sighs, grunts)
1750
01:27:37,837 --> 01:27:39,462
Thank God, baby.
1751
01:27:39,463 --> 01:27:41,381
(sighs heavily) Are you okay?
1752
01:27:41,381 --> 01:27:43,132
I'm okay, Mommy.
1753
01:27:43,134 --> 01:27:44,301
Okay.
1754
01:27:44,301 --> 01:27:46,804
This is my friend, Santa.
1755
01:27:51,225 --> 01:27:53,310
What the fuck?
1756
01:27:53,310 --> 01:27:55,145
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...
1757
01:27:55,145 --> 01:27:57,480
Claus. But please call me Santa.
1758
01:27:57,481 --> 01:27:58,856
Mm-hmm.
1759
01:27:58,858 --> 01:28:00,984
SANTA:
You guys should get out of here.
1760
01:28:00,984 --> 01:28:02,444
It's dangerous.
1761
01:28:02,444 --> 01:28:04,780
They took my husband
and her grandmother.
1762
01:28:06,615 --> 01:28:08,242
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?
1763
01:28:08,243 --> 01:28:09,576
I think so.
1764
01:28:09,577 --> 01:28:11,328
I used to hunt with my dad.
1765
01:28:11,328 --> 01:28:12,496
Ow.
1766
01:28:12,497 --> 01:28:14,163
Copy that. How's that looking?
1767
01:28:14,164 --> 01:28:17,000
- Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
- Heads on a swivel, boys.
1768
01:28:17,001 --> 01:28:18,335
(gunfire)
1769
01:28:18,336 --> 01:28:19,962
- Incoming!
- Heads up!
1770
01:28:19,962 --> 01:28:21,171
(gasps)
1771
01:28:21,171 --> 01:28:22,672
- (bullets whizzing)
- Oh, oh! Who's shooting?
1772
01:28:22,673 --> 01:28:24,341
- Who's...
- (yelps)
1773
01:28:24,341 --> 01:28:27,511
- PEPPERMINT: Cap, get down!
- SCROOGE: Watch it! Watch it!
1774
01:28:28,345 --> 01:28:31,097
(gasping)
1775
01:28:31,099 --> 01:28:32,599
(grunts, sputters)
1776
01:28:32,600 --> 01:28:34,978
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.
1777
01:28:36,854 --> 01:28:39,606
(whimpering)
1778
01:28:42,902 --> 01:28:44,694
(yells)
1779
01:28:44,695 --> 01:28:46,905
(gunfire continues)
1780
01:28:50,827 --> 01:28:53,662
All right, let's get the fuck out of here.
- Let's go.
1781
01:28:53,662 --> 01:28:56,164
- Go where?
- Come on, move, you old bat.
1782
01:28:56,916 --> 01:28:58,876
GERTRUDE: Get your fucking
hands off of me.
1783
01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:02,421
(grunts)
1784
01:29:04,381 --> 01:29:06,717
(engines starting)
1785
01:29:07,885 --> 01:29:09,011
(yells)
1786
01:29:09,011 --> 01:29:11,345
Oh! Oh, shit.
1787
01:29:11,346 --> 01:29:14,725
My balls! My fucking balls!
1788
01:29:18,895 --> 01:29:21,733
- (engine sputtering)
- (grunting)
1789
01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:25,403
(screaming)
1790
01:29:31,367 --> 01:29:34,203
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...
1791
01:29:35,162 --> 01:29:38,039
(choral Christmas music
continues over speakers)
1792
01:29:38,041 --> 01:29:40,417
Oh, Jesus.
1793
01:29:40,417 --> 01:29:42,085
Sorry.
1794
01:29:42,086 --> 01:29:43,920
(panting)
1795
01:29:43,921 --> 01:29:46,590
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.
1796
01:29:46,591 --> 01:29:48,841
JASON:
Who is that guy?
1797
01:29:48,842 --> 01:29:51,470
He said he was Mr. Claus.
1798
01:29:53,264 --> 01:29:55,306
- Fuck. Trudy.
- No, no.
1799
01:29:55,307 --> 01:29:56,932
She's in the house. She's okay.
1800
01:29:56,934 --> 01:29:58,310
She's safe.
1801
01:29:58,310 --> 01:30:00,436
- Oh, thank God.
- Yeah.
1802
01:30:00,438 --> 01:30:02,689
(both panting)
1803
01:30:04,108 --> 01:30:06,152
d d
1804
01:30:19,539 --> 01:30:21,166
(gun clicks)
1805
01:30:21,167 --> 01:30:22,626
LINDA:
No, no.
1806
01:30:22,627 --> 01:30:25,295
- Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.
1807
01:30:25,296 --> 01:30:27,547
(grunting and groaning)
1808
01:30:31,594 --> 01:30:33,886
(screaming)
1809
01:30:33,887 --> 01:30:35,097
(grunts)
1810
01:30:37,850 --> 01:30:39,810
(panting)
1811
01:30:44,273 --> 01:30:45,731
(grunting, panting)
1812
01:30:45,733 --> 01:30:48,152
(choral Christmas music
continues over speakers)
1813
01:30:49,945 --> 01:30:52,363
- (whimpers)
- (grunts)
1814
01:30:52,364 --> 01:30:55,076
(screaming)
1815
01:30:57,494 --> 01:30:59,662
d d
1816
01:30:59,663 --> 01:31:01,998
(engines buzzing nearby)
1817
01:31:07,087 --> 01:31:08,672
(yells)
1818
01:31:11,134 --> 01:31:13,552
Oh, shit!
1819
01:31:15,805 --> 01:31:18,599
- Ho, ho!
- (engine revving)
1820
01:31:20,309 --> 01:31:21,519
Fuck!
1821
01:31:33,405 --> 01:31:36,323
(choral Christmas music
playing over speakers)
1822
01:31:36,324 --> 01:31:38,161
(gasping weakly)
1823
01:31:41,581 --> 01:31:44,248
(straining, gasping)
1824
01:31:44,250 --> 01:31:45,585
(grunts)
1825
01:31:46,586 --> 01:31:48,587
(grunting)
1826
01:31:54,176 --> 01:31:55,552
(yelps)
1827
01:31:58,597 --> 01:32:00,850
(whimpers softly)
1828
01:32:05,104 --> 01:32:07,774
- (gasping weakly)
- Fucking die.
1829
01:32:10,443 --> 01:32:12,694
(straining)
1830
01:32:16,990 --> 01:32:19,201
(Linda exhales sharply)
1831
01:32:19,202 --> 01:32:21,244
(coughing)
1832
01:32:22,662 --> 01:32:24,663
(choral Christmas music ends)
1833
01:32:24,664 --> 01:32:26,625
(coughing, gasping)
1834
01:32:26,626 --> 01:32:28,920
(grunting)
1835
01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:33,090
(panting)
1836
01:32:40,640 --> 01:32:42,891
d d
1837
01:32:55,154 --> 01:32:57,323
d d
1838
01:33:00,952 --> 01:33:02,828
SCROOGE:
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1839
01:33:02,828 --> 01:33:06,122
Yeah, over here. Over here.
1840
01:33:06,122 --> 01:33:07,375
Santa!
1841
01:33:08,333 --> 01:33:10,167
Come on!
1842
01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:11,627
Yeah.
1843
01:33:11,628 --> 01:33:14,090
(engine revving)
1844
01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:23,472
(screaming)
1845
01:33:23,474 --> 01:33:25,184
(grunts)
1846
01:33:27,686 --> 01:33:30,648
(groaning, panting)
1847
01:33:34,777 --> 01:33:36,862
(grunting)
1848
01:33:36,863 --> 01:33:38,780
(bullets ricocheting)
1849
01:33:44,161 --> 01:33:46,037
(groaning)
1850
01:33:52,168 --> 01:33:53,795
(gun clicking)
1851
01:33:53,796 --> 01:33:55,421
(gasping)
1852
01:33:55,422 --> 01:33:56,673
Fuck.
1853
01:34:02,596 --> 01:34:05,307
(Santa groaning)
1854
01:34:07,560 --> 01:34:09,811
d d
1855
01:34:20,363 --> 01:34:22,408
You're real?
1856
01:34:23,783 --> 01:34:26,203
You're... him.
1857
01:34:29,206 --> 01:34:30,457
You're you.
1858
01:34:30,457 --> 01:34:33,167
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
1859
01:34:33,168 --> 01:34:36,546
The real goddamn Santa Claus.
1860
01:34:36,546 --> 01:34:39,006
This is not your night, pal.
1861
01:34:39,007 --> 01:34:42,135
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.
1862
01:34:42,136 --> 01:34:45,555
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.
1863
01:34:45,555 --> 01:34:46,931
Because when I kill you,
1864
01:34:46,932 --> 01:34:50,226
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.
1865
01:34:51,979 --> 01:34:53,898
Whatever it takes...
1866
01:34:55,649 --> 01:34:57,734
...Christmas dies tonight.
1867
01:34:57,734 --> 01:35:00,320
(yelling, grunting)
1868
01:35:04,742 --> 01:35:06,826
(engine revving)
1869
01:35:06,827 --> 01:35:07,911
(yells, whimpers)
1870
01:35:07,912 --> 01:35:09,119
(grunting)
1871
01:35:09,121 --> 01:35:10,622
(screams)
1872
01:35:10,622 --> 01:35:12,457
(grunting and groaning)
1873
01:35:19,923 --> 01:35:23,094
(both yelling)
1874
01:35:30,393 --> 01:35:32,769
(both panting, grunting)
1875
01:35:32,770 --> 01:35:34,980
(Santa coughing)
1876
01:35:38,484 --> 01:35:40,778
(grunting, panting)
1877
01:35:43,113 --> 01:35:44,948
(Scrooge chuckles)
1878
01:35:49,953 --> 01:35:51,621
Whoa! (grunts)
1879
01:35:51,622 --> 01:35:53,747
(laughs, grunts)
1880
01:35:53,748 --> 01:35:56,127
(grunting and groaning)
1881
01:35:59,963 --> 01:36:02,925
(yells in pain)
1882
01:36:07,595 --> 01:36:10,640
(song playing
with indistinct chanted vocal)
1883
01:36:10,640 --> 01:36:13,101
(grunting and groaning continue)
1884
01:36:16,689 --> 01:36:19,817
d d
1885
01:36:33,329 --> 01:36:36,042
(screaming)
1886
01:36:41,005 --> 01:36:44,341
(Scrooge straining)
1887
01:36:47,595 --> 01:36:50,346
(both straining)
1888
01:36:52,557 --> 01:36:54,518
(yells in pain)
1889
01:36:57,354 --> 01:36:59,606
(laughs)
1890
01:37:03,903 --> 01:37:05,862
(screams)
1891
01:37:05,863 --> 01:37:09,074
(grunting and groaning continue)
1892
01:37:16,873 --> 01:37:19,460
The last Christmas.
1893
01:37:20,543 --> 01:37:23,421
(grunting)
1894
01:37:29,302 --> 01:37:31,930
Not if you still believe.
1895
01:37:33,724 --> 01:37:35,725
No!
1896
01:37:35,725 --> 01:37:38,561
(grunting, screaming)
1897
01:37:44,902 --> 01:37:48,029
(laughing)
1898
01:37:49,573 --> 01:37:51,574
(continues laughing)
1899
01:37:54,411 --> 01:37:57,247
(gunfire)
1900
01:38:02,461 --> 01:38:03,752
(Santa grunting)
1901
01:38:03,753 --> 01:38:07,423
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.
1902
01:38:09,801 --> 01:38:11,929
But this ends now.
1903
01:38:16,850 --> 01:38:18,644
Damn right it does.
1904
01:38:20,604 --> 01:38:22,605
(engines buzzing)
1905
01:38:27,819 --> 01:38:29,988
LINDA:
Trudy, be careful.
1906
01:38:31,282 --> 01:38:33,699
(panting, groaning)
1907
01:38:33,701 --> 01:38:35,618
TRUDY:
Santa!
1908
01:38:35,618 --> 01:38:38,122
Oh, no. Santa.
1909
01:38:39,582 --> 01:38:41,125
Oh, no.
1910
01:38:44,170 --> 01:38:46,296
(Jason sighs)
1911
01:38:47,922 --> 01:38:50,091
You saved my daughter.
1912
01:38:50,885 --> 01:38:52,427
SANTA:
No.
1913
01:38:53,220 --> 01:38:54,804
She saved me.
1914
01:38:54,805 --> 01:38:57,556
Help him. Please help him.
1915
01:38:57,557 --> 01:39:00,059
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.
1916
01:39:00,060 --> 01:39:01,310
SANTA:
It's okay. It's okay.
1917
01:39:01,311 --> 01:39:03,645
It's too late for that.
1918
01:39:03,646 --> 01:39:05,983
Too late.
1919
01:39:06,774 --> 01:39:09,444
I'm cold. (whimpers)
1920
01:39:09,444 --> 01:39:11,695
I haven't felt cold in years.
1921
01:39:11,697 --> 01:39:13,740
We need to keep him warm.
1922
01:39:14,574 --> 01:39:16,993
All of the fires are going out.
1923
01:39:16,993 --> 01:39:19,287
We need to find
something to burn.
1924
01:39:20,622 --> 01:39:22,166
I got an idea.
1925
01:39:25,085 --> 01:39:27,046
Whoa.
1926
01:39:28,588 --> 01:39:30,006
No.
1927
01:39:30,006 --> 01:39:32,175
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.
1928
01:39:32,176 --> 01:39:33,301
TRUDY:
Please, Santa.
1929
01:39:33,301 --> 01:39:36,305
I don't want you to die.
1930
01:39:39,390 --> 01:39:41,100
ALVA:
Jason, let's slow this down.
1931
01:39:41,100 --> 01:39:42,601
What are you doing?
1932
01:39:42,603 --> 01:39:45,896
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.
1933
01:39:45,898 --> 01:39:48,608
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?
1934
01:39:48,609 --> 01:39:50,693
- You don't need to burn money.
- JASON: Okay. More. Yeah.
1935
01:39:50,694 --> 01:39:54,154
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.
1936
01:39:54,155 --> 01:39:56,699
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.
1937
01:39:57,701 --> 01:39:59,328
Sorry.
1938
01:40:01,372 --> 01:40:05,123
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.
1939
01:40:05,125 --> 01:40:06,708
(sniffling)
1940
01:40:06,710 --> 01:40:09,002
Take that. Take that.
1941
01:40:09,003 --> 01:40:10,546
TRUDY:
But you did.
1942
01:40:13,300 --> 01:40:15,635
Santa, please don't die.
1943
01:40:15,636 --> 01:40:18,179
Wake up. Wake up.
1944
01:40:18,180 --> 01:40:20,847
We need to get him
close to the fire.
1945
01:40:20,849 --> 01:40:22,725
Jason.
1946
01:40:23,476 --> 01:40:25,436
(crying):
Just wake up.
1947
01:40:26,479 --> 01:40:27,854
Please.
1948
01:40:27,855 --> 01:40:29,733
No.
1949
01:40:34,070 --> 01:40:37,323
Oh, I am so, so sorry.
1950
01:40:42,246 --> 01:40:44,957
- This man...
- (Trudy crying)
1951
01:40:45,791 --> 01:40:49,627
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...
1952
01:40:49,627 --> 01:40:50,920
He's Santa.
1953
01:40:50,921 --> 01:40:53,171
The real Santa. He is.
1954
01:40:53,172 --> 01:40:56,260
And I still believe in him.
1955
01:40:57,094 --> 01:40:59,762
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.
1956
01:41:04,393 --> 01:41:06,353
I believe in him, too.
1957
01:41:09,355 --> 01:41:12,190
He saved Trudy.
1958
01:41:12,192 --> 01:41:14,444
He saved our family.
1959
01:41:16,404 --> 01:41:18,740
What's realer than that?
1960
01:41:22,703 --> 01:41:24,496
Then maybe...
1961
01:41:26,998 --> 01:41:29,126
I believe in him, too.
1962
01:41:29,960 --> 01:41:31,502
(sighs) So do I.
1963
01:41:32,546 --> 01:41:35,881
Oh, shit.
1964
01:41:35,882 --> 01:41:38,009
I guess...
1965
01:41:38,010 --> 01:41:40,094
I guess I do, too.
1966
01:41:40,095 --> 01:41:41,929
ALVA:
Fuck me.
1967
01:41:41,930 --> 01:41:43,724
I believe, too.
1968
01:41:48,854 --> 01:41:50,898
d d
1969
01:41:52,983 --> 01:41:54,149
(coughs)
1970
01:41:54,150 --> 01:41:55,693
(gasps) Oh, my God.
1971
01:41:55,694 --> 01:41:56,862
Santa!
1972
01:41:58,322 --> 01:42:00,030
(Santa grunting)
1973
01:42:00,032 --> 01:42:01,865
(panting)
1974
01:42:01,867 --> 01:42:03,409
JASON:
You...
1975
01:42:05,162 --> 01:42:07,206
You were dead.
1976
01:42:07,997 --> 01:42:10,582
Christmas magic.
1977
01:42:10,583 --> 01:42:13,211
I still don't really
understand...
1978
01:42:13,212 --> 01:42:15,171
how it works.
1979
01:42:16,756 --> 01:42:19,510
(Santa chuckling)
1980
01:42:20,802 --> 01:42:22,720
Thank you.
1981
01:42:22,720 --> 01:42:24,764
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.
1982
01:42:24,765 --> 01:42:26,932
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,
1983
01:42:26,934 --> 01:42:28,519
so we'll call it even.
1984
01:42:29,685 --> 01:42:30,895
(scoffs) Even?
1985
01:42:30,895 --> 01:42:33,564
We just burned
half a million dollars.
1986
01:42:34,399 --> 01:42:36,024
- Look, Santa!
- Hmm?
1987
01:42:36,025 --> 01:42:37,402
Look who came.
1988
01:42:37,403 --> 01:42:39,862
d d
1989
01:42:39,863 --> 01:42:41,907
(reindeer grunting)
1990
01:42:44,576 --> 01:42:48,121
Now you show up, huh?
1991
01:42:48,122 --> 01:42:49,579
You leave me here to die,
1992
01:42:49,581 --> 01:42:51,832
come back after
all the work's done, huh?
1993
01:42:51,833 --> 01:42:54,585
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew
1994
01:42:54,586 --> 01:42:56,837
and feed you to the elves!
1995
01:42:56,838 --> 01:42:58,797
(reindeer grunting)
1996
01:42:58,798 --> 01:43:03,552
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!
1997
01:43:03,554 --> 01:43:05,680
You, too, Prancer.
1998
01:43:11,060 --> 01:43:13,104
You got my sack.
1999
01:43:13,104 --> 01:43:17,400
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?
2000
01:43:19,278 --> 01:43:22,029
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.
2001
01:43:22,029 --> 01:43:23,613
I... (sniffles)
2002
01:43:23,614 --> 01:43:27,993
(chuckling):
Aw. I can't. I can't.
2003
01:43:27,994 --> 01:43:30,747
Aw. (chuckles)
2004
01:43:31,789 --> 01:43:33,916
Aw.
2005
01:43:33,917 --> 01:43:35,461
(sighs)
2006
01:43:38,796 --> 01:43:40,256
(chuckles)
2007
01:43:44,802 --> 01:43:46,345
Hello, beautiful.
2008
01:43:46,345 --> 01:43:48,265
Skullcrusher!
2009
01:43:55,439 --> 01:43:58,774
(takes deep breath)
2010
01:44:01,278 --> 01:44:02,944
Guess this is goodbye.
2011
01:44:02,945 --> 01:44:04,405
I got to go.
2012
01:44:05,282 --> 01:44:07,408
Do you have to?
2013
01:44:08,159 --> 01:44:10,703
(sighs)
2014
01:44:10,703 --> 01:44:12,872
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...
2015
01:44:12,872 --> 01:44:14,582
boys and girls on the nice list
2016
01:44:14,582 --> 01:44:17,002
that want their presents,
you know?
2017
01:44:19,128 --> 01:44:20,796
Thank you.
2018
01:44:21,797 --> 01:44:23,381
For what?
2019
01:44:23,382 --> 01:44:25,051
For believing in me.
2020
01:44:25,051 --> 01:44:28,387
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.
2021
01:44:29,972 --> 01:44:32,432
And that I still...
2022
01:44:32,434 --> 01:44:34,810
matter.
2023
01:44:34,810 --> 01:44:36,354
(sighs)
2024
01:44:36,354 --> 01:44:38,524
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.
2025
01:44:41,234 --> 01:44:43,109
(chuckling)
2026
01:44:43,110 --> 01:44:45,322
d d
2027
01:44:48,408 --> 01:44:50,743
All right. Get out of here.
2028
01:44:54,456 --> 01:44:57,376
Merry Christmas!
2029
01:44:59,920 --> 01:45:01,170
Hyah!
2030
01:45:01,171 --> 01:45:04,548
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!
2031
01:45:04,550 --> 01:45:06,676
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
2032
01:45:06,676 --> 01:45:10,179
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
2033
01:45:10,180 --> 01:45:13,181
On, Donner and Blitzen!
2034
01:45:13,182 --> 01:45:16,769
Come on, you beautiful bastards!
2035
01:45:16,770 --> 01:45:20,146
We've got some work to do!
2036
01:45:20,148 --> 01:45:23,192
Hyah!
2037
01:45:23,193 --> 01:45:25,903
Ho, ho, ho!
2038
01:45:25,904 --> 01:45:29,114
Merry Christmas!
2039
01:45:29,115 --> 01:45:31,368
d d
2040
01:45:32,868 --> 01:45:35,831
("Merry Christmas Everybody"
by Slade playing)
2041
01:45:40,042 --> 01:45:46,007
d Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? d
2042
01:45:47,967 --> 01:45:53,890
d It's the time that
every Santa has a ball d
2043
01:45:55,641 --> 01:45:59,520
d Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? d
2044
01:45:59,520 --> 01:46:03,064
d Does a ton-up on his sleigh? d
2045
01:46:03,065 --> 01:46:08,988
d Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? d
2046
01:46:09,780 --> 01:46:12,240
d So here it is d
2047
01:46:12,242 --> 01:46:14,243
d Merry Christmas d
2048
01:46:14,243 --> 01:46:18,747
d Everybody's having fun d
2049
01:46:18,748 --> 01:46:22,208
d Look to the future now d
2050
01:46:22,210 --> 01:46:29,216
d It's only just begun d
2051
01:46:29,216 --> 01:46:35,181
d Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? d
2052
01:46:37,141 --> 01:46:39,100
d Are you sure you got d
2053
01:46:39,101 --> 01:46:42,814
d The room to spare inside? d
2054
01:46:44,524 --> 01:46:48,069
d Does your granny
always tell ya d
2055
01:46:48,069 --> 01:46:51,863
d That the old songs
are the best? d
2056
01:46:51,864 --> 01:46:55,076
d Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling d
2057
01:46:55,077 --> 01:46:57,411
d With the rest d
2058
01:46:57,412 --> 01:46:59,579
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?
2059
01:46:59,581 --> 01:47:02,667
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.
2060
01:47:02,667 --> 01:47:04,752
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.
2061
01:47:04,752 --> 01:47:06,545
Santa's real, all right?
2062
01:47:06,546 --> 01:47:08,421
Don't end up
on the naughty list.
2063
01:47:08,422 --> 01:47:09,673
Do better.
2064
01:47:09,675 --> 01:47:11,801
Bert Lightstone out.
2065
01:47:11,801 --> 01:47:13,844
d So here it is d
2066
01:47:13,845 --> 01:47:15,845
d Merry Christmas d
2067
01:47:15,846 --> 01:47:20,393
d Everybody's having fun d
2068
01:47:20,394 --> 01:47:23,688
d Look to the future now d
2069
01:47:23,689 --> 01:47:29,859
d It's only just begun d
2070
01:47:29,860 --> 01:47:32,320
d So here it is d
2071
01:47:32,322 --> 01:47:34,323
d Merry Christmas d
2072
01:47:34,323 --> 01:47:37,368
d Everybody's having fun d
2073
01:47:37,368 --> 01:47:41,956
- d It's Christmas! d
- d Look to the future now d
2074
01:47:41,957 --> 01:47:49,671
d It's only just begun. d
2075
01:47:49,672 --> 01:47:51,340
(song ends)
2076
01:47:51,341 --> 01:47:53,007
("Santa Has Had Enough of
Christmas" by Dom Lewis plays)
2077
01:47:53,009 --> 01:47:54,719
d Ding dong merrily on high d
2078
01:47:54,720 --> 01:47:56,720
d Let's be good d
2079
01:47:56,721 --> 01:48:00,850
- d This coming yuletide d
- d Ding dong verily the sky d
2080
01:48:00,850 --> 01:48:03,394
d Or you'll see d
2081
01:48:03,395 --> 01:48:08,481
d Kris Kringle's cruel side d
2082
01:48:08,483 --> 01:48:11,902
d Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad d
2083
01:48:11,903 --> 01:48:15,029
d Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas d
2084
01:48:15,030 --> 01:48:18,033
d We don't want to be
on that list d
2085
01:48:18,033 --> 01:48:21,078
- d Santa Claus is gonna get d
- d Unhappy! d
2086
01:48:21,078 --> 01:48:24,622
d He's told you once,
he's told you twice d
2087
01:48:24,623 --> 01:48:27,417
d Too much naughty,
not enough nice d
2088
01:48:27,418 --> 01:48:32,923
d Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas d
2089
01:48:34,050 --> 01:48:37,011
d Where's the love
and where's the joy? d
2090
01:48:37,011 --> 01:48:40,180
d Always cash and never a toy d
2091
01:48:40,181 --> 01:48:45,560
d Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas d
2092
01:48:45,561 --> 01:48:51,859
d Ah... d
2093
01:48:53,487 --> 01:48:55,404
d Santa's getting mad d
2094
01:48:55,404 --> 01:48:57,530
- d Don't you make Santa crazy d
- d Better not be bad d
2095
01:48:57,532 --> 01:49:00,201
d Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas d -d Baby d
2096
01:49:00,202 --> 01:49:02,787
d We don't want to be
on that list d
2097
01:49:02,787 --> 01:49:06,457
- d Santa Claus is gonna get d
- d Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho d
2098
01:49:06,457 --> 01:49:09,627
d If you don't want d
2099
01:49:09,627 --> 01:49:12,712
d Coal this Christmas d
2100
01:49:12,713 --> 01:49:15,841
d Deck the halls
with boughs of holly d
2101
01:49:15,841 --> 01:49:19,011
d Make sure you keep
Santa jolly d
2102
01:49:19,011 --> 01:49:22,180
d Don't make his reindeer d
2103
01:49:22,181 --> 01:49:26,851
d Cause you some pain, dear d
2104
01:49:26,853 --> 01:49:30,021
d Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad d
2105
01:49:30,023 --> 01:49:33,274
d Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas d
2106
01:49:33,275 --> 01:49:36,237
d We don't want to be
on that list d
2107
01:49:36,238 --> 01:49:39,614
- d Santa Claus is gonna get d
- d Ooh-ooh... d
2108
01:49:39,615 --> 01:49:42,408
d Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la d
2109
01:49:42,409 --> 01:49:44,078
d Ooh-fa-la-la d
2110
01:49:44,078 --> 01:49:47,581
d Don't make him crazy d
2111
01:49:47,582 --> 01:49:48,957
d Ooh-fa-la-la d
2112
01:49:48,958 --> 01:49:52,127
d Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la d
2113
01:49:52,127 --> 01:49:55,130
d Ooh-fa-la-la,
ooh-fa-la-la d
2114
01:49:55,131 --> 01:49:58,384
d Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la d
2115
01:49:58,385 --> 01:50:01,470
d Ooh-fa-la-la,
ooh-fa-la-la d
2116
01:50:01,470 --> 01:50:03,264
d Ooh-fa-la-la d
2117
01:50:03,265 --> 01:50:06,475
d Hark, the herald angels sing d
2118
01:50:06,475 --> 01:50:09,144
d Dashing through the snow d
2119
01:50:09,145 --> 01:50:10,854
d On the first day
of Christmas d
2120
01:50:10,855 --> 01:50:12,439
d My true love gave to me d
2121
01:50:12,439 --> 01:50:15,234
d Good King Wenceslas
looked out d
2122
01:50:15,234 --> 01:50:18,153
d On the Feast of Stephen d
2123
01:50:18,154 --> 01:50:21,282
- d Jingle bells. d
- (song ends)
2124
01:50:21,283 --> 01:50:23,326
d d
2125
01:50:44,014 --> 01:50:46,806
d Ding dong merrily on high d
2126
01:50:46,807 --> 01:50:50,144
d In heaven,
the bells are ringing d
2127
01:50:50,145 --> 01:50:52,188
d d
2128
01:51:09,622 --> 01:51:17,622
d Glo-o-o-oria d
2129
01:51:17,713 --> 01:51:19,881
d Hosanna d
2130
01:51:19,882 --> 01:51:27,847
d In excelsis. d
2131
01:51:27,849 --> 01:51:35,849
(music ends)
143015
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