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1
00:00:05,992 --> 00:00:09,095
This is a stickup.
Everybody down on the ground.
2
00:00:09,162 --> 00:00:11,231
Just stay on the floor,
and nobody gets hurt.
3
00:00:11,298 --> 00:00:13,266
- Hurry up before the pigs get here.
- Be cool.
4
00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:14,534
Why are you doing this?
5
00:00:14,601 --> 00:00:16,569
Because banks are a bummer, man.
6
00:00:16,636 --> 00:00:18,505
This mask is so hot.
7
00:00:18,571 --> 00:00:20,540
Ah, it's like my hair was sweating.
8
00:00:20,607 --> 00:00:22,676
Flower, put your mask back on.
9
00:00:22,742 --> 00:00:24,210
Don't use my real name.
10
00:00:24,277 --> 00:00:26,346
That's not your real name.
11
00:00:27,465 --> 00:00:28,515
Oh, right, it's Susan.
12
00:00:28,581 --> 00:00:30,116
Let's get out of here.
13
00:00:30,183 --> 00:00:32,485
G-Go, go, go!
14
00:00:32,552 --> 00:00:34,387
Bye.
15
00:00:39,459 --> 00:00:41,261
Babe?
16
00:00:41,328 --> 00:00:42,595
Sam?
17
00:00:42,662 --> 00:00:45,565
Hey. I got you your favorite.
18
00:00:45,632 --> 00:00:48,335
Oh, Daisy's Coffee Shop. I
love this place. Thanks, babe.
19
00:00:48,401 --> 00:00:50,303
That is an americano for my booboo,
20
00:00:50,370 --> 00:00:53,340
and a perfectly normal adult
caffeinated beverage for me.
21
00:00:53,406 --> 00:00:56,076
This is not a man who's
destined to keep it tight, Sam.
22
00:00:56,142 --> 00:00:57,277
What are you working on?
23
00:00:57,344 --> 00:00:59,479
Well, I'm trying to come up
with article ideas for my meeting
24
00:00:59,546 --> 00:01:01,181
at The Ulster County Review tomorrow.
25
00:01:01,247 --> 00:01:03,083
The New Yorker of the Hudson Valley?
26
00:01:03,149 --> 00:01:04,984
That's a big opportunity.
27
00:01:05,051 --> 00:01:06,586
Yeah, this is the kind
of serious journalism
28
00:01:06,653 --> 00:01:07,687
I've always wanted to do,
29
00:01:07,754 --> 00:01:10,657
and if it goes well, it
could turn into a regular gig.
30
00:01:10,724 --> 00:01:12,092
You're gonna kill it, babe.
31
00:01:12,158 --> 00:01:13,626
All right, I'll leave you to it.
32
00:01:13,693 --> 00:01:17,063
Mmm. Yum.
33
00:01:17,130 --> 00:01:18,431
Mmm. Mm.
34
00:01:18,498 --> 00:01:20,667
I can't watch a man do this to himself.
35
00:01:20,734 --> 00:01:21,768
I'm okay with it.
36
00:01:21,835 --> 00:01:23,737
- Love you, babe.
- Ooh, wait.
37
00:01:23,803 --> 00:01:25,739
I've got an article idea for you.
38
00:01:25,805 --> 00:01:28,375
What about a profile
of a local celebrity?
39
00:01:28,441 --> 00:01:29,542
Ooh, like who?
40
00:01:29,609 --> 00:01:31,010
I'm right here.
41
00:01:31,077 --> 00:01:32,712
You said you wanted a good story,
42
00:01:32,779 --> 00:01:34,114
I'm a good story.
43
00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:35,615
Oh, I got a story.
44
00:01:35,682 --> 00:01:37,484
Did I ever tell you guys
about the time I robbed a bank?
45
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:40,553
Only once a week for the last 50 years.
46
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:42,055
Wait, you robbed a bank?
47
00:01:42,122 --> 00:01:44,391
Flower's hippie cult knocked off a bank,
48
00:01:44,457 --> 00:01:46,059
then gave the money to poor people.
49
00:01:46,126 --> 00:01:47,660
This was the commune, not the cult.
50
00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:50,163
They're very similar, but the
commune let you wear your shoes
51
00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:51,564
and you could still talk to your family.
52
00:01:51,631 --> 00:01:54,067
A Robin Hood hippie bank
robbery? That's amazing.
53
00:01:54,134 --> 00:01:55,702
This should be the article I write.
54
00:01:55,769 --> 00:01:57,504
Article? What's she talking about?
55
00:01:57,570 --> 00:01:59,038
Oh, it's for a local magazine.
56
00:01:59,105 --> 00:02:00,740
This is exactly the kind
of thing they'd love.
57
00:02:00,807 --> 00:02:02,308
Quirky, human interest.
58
00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:04,344
Well you... you can't
write about it. I'm sorry.
59
00:02:04,411 --> 00:02:06,579
What? Flower, this would be, like,
60
00:02:06,646 --> 00:02:08,415
the biggest assignment I've ever landed.
61
00:02:08,481 --> 00:02:10,716
They made me take an eternal
blood oath to never talk about it.
62
00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:12,285
Oh, totally not a cult.
63
00:02:12,352 --> 00:02:14,387
Flower, you told us
about it a million times.
64
00:02:14,454 --> 00:02:16,756
Well, that's different than
publishing it in a magazine.
65
00:02:16,823 --> 00:02:19,092
- But, Flower, it would just be...
- I said no!
66
00:02:21,461 --> 00:02:24,297
So... I guess we're back to Alberta.
67
00:02:24,364 --> 00:02:25,732
Hold up.
68
00:02:25,799 --> 00:02:28,334
"Back to Alberta."
69
00:02:29,569 --> 00:02:31,805
I think we just found our title.
70
00:02:36,342 --> 00:02:38,378
So, what do we think?
71
00:02:38,445 --> 00:02:40,747
I'm gonna say just moved
from the city, Ivy League.
72
00:02:40,814 --> 00:02:42,715
Close. Northwestern.
73
00:02:42,782 --> 00:02:44,184
You can see us?
74
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,418
It's kind of a long story.
75
00:02:45,485 --> 00:02:46,786
I had this near-death experience,
76
00:02:46,853 --> 00:02:48,521
and now I see ghosts.
77
00:02:48,588 --> 00:02:50,657
I guess that's not such a long story.
78
00:02:50,723 --> 00:02:53,526
Name's Winky. Age 12
when I kicked the bucket.
79
00:02:53,593 --> 00:02:56,596
Headline? I got trampled by a horse.
80
00:02:56,663 --> 00:03:00,467
I'm Shiki. I'm Lenape, and
I've been here since the 1500s.
81
00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:02,302
Lenape?
82
00:03:02,368 --> 00:03:03,670
I actually know a...
83
00:03:03,736 --> 00:03:04,838
Who are you talking to?
84
00:03:04,904 --> 00:03:06,406
I...
85
00:03:06,473 --> 00:03:08,274
I... I was, uh, just
practicing for our meeting.
86
00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:12,111
I was saying I actually know
some stories to pitch you.
87
00:03:12,178 --> 00:03:14,547
Let me just, uh, check these out. Okay.
88
00:03:14,614 --> 00:03:16,349
Oh. Oh, okay, that... works.
89
00:03:16,481 --> 00:03:19,183
Okay. Oof, no. No.
90
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:22,453
Did that. That's too obvious.
What's this in the margin here?
91
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,255
Gummy bears? Was there
a listeria outbreak
92
00:03:24,322 --> 00:03:25,322
in the plant or something?
93
00:03:25,356 --> 00:03:26,491
No, my husband wrote that.
94
00:03:26,558 --> 00:03:28,359
He wanted me to pick up gummy
bears while I was in town
95
00:03:28,426 --> 00:03:31,329
because we ran out, and
he likes gummy bears.
96
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:34,432
Look, there's some good ideas in there,
97
00:03:34,499 --> 00:03:36,834
but if I'm gonna hire a freelancer,
98
00:03:36,901 --> 00:03:38,236
I really need to be wowed,
99
00:03:38,303 --> 00:03:39,971
so unless you can do that,
100
00:03:40,038 --> 00:03:41,739
I'm gonna have to
say, "Nice to meet you,
101
00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:44,609
and I'm sorry."
102
00:03:46,044 --> 00:03:48,313
Wait, what if I told you
that I had a lead on a story
103
00:03:48,379 --> 00:03:49,847
about a group of hippies who held up
104
00:03:49,914 --> 00:03:51,249
Hudson Valley Citizens Bank
105
00:03:51,316 --> 00:03:52,550
in the 1960s and were never caught?
106
00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:54,319
I'm interested. Who's your source?
107
00:03:54,385 --> 00:03:55,386
- Can you bring them in?
- No.
108
00:03:55,453 --> 00:03:57,422
Uh, only I can see them.
109
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:58,790
Give me 6,000 words by Tuesday.
110
00:04:00,392 --> 00:04:01,926
Sold. A hippie bank robbery?
111
00:04:01,993 --> 00:04:03,595
You should've led with that one, kid.
112
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:11,970
Hey, babe.
113
00:04:12,036 --> 00:04:13,738
So, how'd it go?
114
00:04:13,805 --> 00:04:15,223
Well, he bought one of my ideas.
115
00:04:15,224 --> 00:04:16,641
That's great.
116
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:18,910
We're gonna celebrate
tonight with gummy bears,
117
00:04:18,977 --> 00:04:21,713
which you left in the
car, he said hopefully?
118
00:04:21,779 --> 00:04:22,779
So...
119
00:04:22,814 --> 00:04:24,449
which article did he buy?
120
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:25,750
Look, you can't tell Flower.
121
00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:27,251
I literally can't see Flower.
122
00:04:27,318 --> 00:04:28,953
Oh, I was talking to Alberta and Isaac.
123
00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:30,355
They were already in here with you.
124
00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:31,656
That's not creepy at all.
125
00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:33,024
I panicked, and I pitched the story
126
00:04:33,091 --> 00:04:34,826
about Flower's commune robbing the bank.
127
00:04:34,892 --> 00:04:36,260
The editor flipped for it.
128
00:04:36,327 --> 00:04:37,500
- That's great.
- Bravo!
129
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:38,730
No, it's terrible.
130
00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:40,832
Flower explicitly told
me not to write about it.
131
00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:42,500
Okay, well, she's not gonna know.
132
00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:44,035
Come on, babe, this is your dream gig.
133
00:04:44,102 --> 00:04:46,404
I know, and now that they bought it,
134
00:04:46,471 --> 00:04:48,039
it's not like I can
go back there saying,
135
00:04:48,106 --> 00:04:50,341
"Whoop, never mind." They'll
never want to work with me.
136
00:04:50,408 --> 00:04:52,777
Plus, this whole thing makes no sense.
137
00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:54,712
For years, she's bragged about it.
138
00:04:54,779 --> 00:04:56,848
Now, suddenly, she doesn't
want the whole world to know.
139
00:04:56,914 --> 00:04:58,883
Mm. That girl is hiding something,
140
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:01,319
and if she's hiding
something, it's probably juicy,
141
00:05:01,386 --> 00:05:03,921
and if it's juicy, I'm
gonna need to know it.
142
00:05:03,988 --> 00:05:06,758
Mm, Sam, you must write this article.
143
00:05:06,824 --> 00:05:08,760
But Flower's my only source,
and I can't even interview her.
144
00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:10,728
So just have the ghosts do it.
145
00:05:10,795 --> 00:05:13,998
Yes. Yes. His mind is
as sharp as his jawline.
146
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:16,534
And with questions
woven into conversation
147
00:05:16,601 --> 00:05:18,002
by her trusted ghost friends,
148
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:20,571
she will be completely unaware.
149
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:21,773
You think that'll work?
150
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,575
The girl was staring at a
shadow for four hours yesterday,
151
00:05:24,642 --> 00:05:26,611
so yeah, I think we can outfox her.
152
00:05:28,613 --> 00:05:31,616
Hey, babe, I...
153
00:05:31,683 --> 00:05:34,519
No one's gonna tell me how
that conversation ended?
154
00:05:40,158 --> 00:05:42,527
Oh, great, there you are, Sasappis.
155
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,595
Uh, seriously? Can I
get a roll call, please?
156
00:05:44,662 --> 00:05:46,898
Sure. Sasappis, Pete, Trevor.
157
00:05:46,964 --> 00:05:48,733
That's never not gonna be weird.
158
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,368
I ran into this Lenape ghost
159
00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:51,602
who died around the same time as you,
160
00:05:51,669 --> 00:05:52,770
and I was wondering if you knew her.
161
00:05:52,837 --> 00:05:53,971
Her name was Shiki.
162
00:05:54,038 --> 00:05:55,773
Shiki? What? Are you serious?
163
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,609
Did you just ask if two
Lenape people knew each other?
164
00:05:58,676 --> 00:05:59,744
She was the love of my life.
165
00:05:59,811 --> 00:06:01,345
That's like me asking you
166
00:06:01,412 --> 00:06:02,847
if you know another
white lady from Ohio.
167
00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:04,849
Shh. He knew her. They were in love.
168
00:06:04,916 --> 00:06:06,417
Well, I was in love with her,
169
00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:08,352
and I thought she was in love with me,
170
00:06:08,419 --> 00:06:10,088
so I killed a deer, and
brought it to her family.
171
00:06:10,154 --> 00:06:12,123
- Sure.
- And then I never heard from her again.
172
00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:14,140
- Oh, my God.
- What? What happened?
173
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,868
- She ghosted him.
- What?
174
00:06:15,869 --> 00:06:17,230
- Excuse me?
- Hey, what's that supposed to mean?
175
00:06:17,304 --> 00:06:19,864
I'm guessing they did not
like the ghosted thing.
176
00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:22,400
Oh, no, no, no. Ghosting
is what people say
177
00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:23,867
when you're dating someone,
and they just kind of vanish.
178
00:06:23,868 --> 00:06:27,739
Is the point that ghosts have
no manners? Walk me through this.
179
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,841
Who knows what was going
on for Shiki 500 years ago.
180
00:06:29,907 --> 00:06:31,409
The point is she could be in
181
00:06:31,476 --> 00:06:32,577
a completely different headspace now.
182
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,645
I think you should reach out.
183
00:06:34,712 --> 00:06:35,847
I can pass on a message.
184
00:06:35,913 --> 00:06:37,148
Uh, okay, yeah.
185
00:06:37,215 --> 00:06:39,050
Uh, how about, "Shiki,
186
00:06:39,117 --> 00:06:41,385
not a day has passed since we parted
187
00:06:41,452 --> 00:06:42,954
that I haven't thought of you.
188
00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:44,989
- You are the love of my life."
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
189
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,958
That's coming on way too strong.
190
00:06:47,024 --> 00:06:48,392
What's the difference? They're ghosts,
191
00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:49,694
and they can't even
be in the same place.
192
00:06:49,761 --> 00:06:51,462
But they could be, one day, right?
193
00:06:51,529 --> 00:06:54,031
I mean, you guys do,
eventually, go up, right?
194
00:06:54,098 --> 00:06:55,283
Get sucked off, right.
195
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,467
Yes, in theory, they could.
196
00:06:56,534 --> 00:06:59,537
Yeah, so he's got to play
this right, and I can help.
197
00:06:59,604 --> 00:07:01,439
I mean, this is basically texting,
198
00:07:01,506 --> 00:07:03,007
and who's better at
texting than your hubs?
199
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,076
Texting was just
catching on when I died.
200
00:07:05,143 --> 00:07:06,978
I would've loved to work
with the medium more.
201
00:07:07,044 --> 00:07:09,013
Sasappis, you should just
say what you want to say.
202
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,983
Women value honesty
and romance, not games.
203
00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:14,552
That's so cute.
204
00:07:14,619 --> 00:07:15,887
When I first met you,
I wanted to text you
205
00:07:15,953 --> 00:07:17,522
every two minutes,
206
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:18,956
but I didn't do that,
you want to know why?
207
00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:20,625
Because it would've scared you off.
208
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,426
Okay, listen to this man, Sass.
209
00:07:22,493 --> 00:07:24,629
I'm not saying this is a Lyle
Lovett, Julia Roberts situation,
210
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:25,763
but he did well for himself.
211
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:27,832
You know what my dating strategy is?
212
00:07:27,899 --> 00:07:31,035
I like to get myself in
something I call "the friendzone."
213
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,638
Now, nine out of ten times you
end up completely desexualized,
214
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,439
as if you're a puppy or their brother,
215
00:07:35,506 --> 00:07:36,641
but, at the end of the day,
216
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:38,676
you got a new friend,
so win-win, right?
217
00:07:38,743 --> 00:07:40,578
Yeah, I think I'm gonna
go with Jay on this one.
218
00:07:40,645 --> 00:07:43,781
Fine. Jay, Sasappis wants
to know what he should say.
219
00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:45,850
Okay, first of all,
delete that corny mess
220
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:51,989
and repeat after me, "'Sup,"
apostrophe, S-U-P. End it with a period.
221
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:53,958
It is a question, but
we don't care enough
222
00:07:54,025 --> 00:07:55,459
to put a question mark, do we?
223
00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:57,195
- Sup.
- Oh, this guy's good.
224
00:07:57,261 --> 00:07:58,996
I am ready to be Miyagi'd.
225
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,935
Oh, hello, Flower.
226
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:06,771
Just popping in for a casual
chat amongst close friends.
227
00:08:06,838 --> 00:08:08,206
Oh, hey, guys.
228
00:08:08,272 --> 00:08:09,273
You know what I thought
was awesome, Isaac?
229
00:08:09,273 --> 00:08:10,875
Oh, what's that, Alberta?
230
00:08:10,942 --> 00:08:12,109
How my girl, Flower, here
231
00:08:12,176 --> 00:08:13,978
stood up to Sam about the bank robbery.
232
00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:15,580
That's not Sam's story to tell,
233
00:08:15,716 --> 00:08:16,751
that's Flower's thing.
234
00:08:16,817 --> 00:08:18,552
Agreed.
235
00:08:18,619 --> 00:08:20,588
Although, I'm curious
236
00:08:20,655 --> 00:08:22,556
as to why you didn't want
her to write the story.
237
00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:25,927
Considering how freely you
bless us with retellings of it.
238
00:08:25,993 --> 00:08:27,695
Well, just between us?
239
00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:28,863
Obviously.
240
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,798
There's just a part of the story
241
00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:32,566
I'm not ready to tell.
242
00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:34,168
- Mm, that's all you need to say.
- Mm-hmm.
243
00:08:34,235 --> 00:08:37,672
Although, I'm worried that Sam,
conniving Living that she is,
244
00:08:37,738 --> 00:08:39,140
will find some way to trick you
245
00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:40,675
into telling her your dark secret.
246
00:08:40,741 --> 00:08:41,792
Do you think?
247
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:42,843
It's a risk, though...
248
00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:44,579
Here's a thought,
249
00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:46,280
what if you were tell us
your deep, dark secret,
250
00:08:46,347 --> 00:08:49,016
so we can help steer Sam as
far away from it as possible?
251
00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:52,887
Wait, why are you guys asking me
so many questions about myself?
252
00:08:52,954 --> 00:08:54,956
What? Uh, it's perfectly consistent
253
00:08:55,022 --> 00:08:56,724
with our personalities
to want to know more
254
00:08:56,791 --> 00:08:57,959
about our good old friend, Flower.
255
00:08:58,025 --> 00:09:00,695
Well, if we're such good friends,
256
00:09:00,761 --> 00:09:01,963
what's my last name?
257
00:09:10,037 --> 00:09:11,205
It's Montero.
258
00:09:11,206 --> 00:09:12,373
Montero!
259
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,375
- I knew that. I remember that.
- Mm-hmm.
260
00:09:14,442 --> 00:09:16,377
Okay. So, here's what I want to know,
261
00:09:16,444 --> 00:09:19,780
since you guys are acting
all suspicious and stuff...
262
00:09:22,984 --> 00:09:25,186
Oh, my God. Is she still with us?
263
00:09:25,252 --> 00:09:26,654
- What's going on?
- Hard to say.
264
00:09:29,123 --> 00:09:30,925
Wait, what-what were
we just talking about?
265
00:09:30,992 --> 00:09:32,059
It was important, wasn't it?
266
00:09:32,126 --> 00:09:33,861
You know, I don't really recall.
267
00:09:33,928 --> 00:09:35,363
Oh, wait, was it love?
268
00:09:35,364 --> 00:09:36,797
Sure.
269
00:09:36,864 --> 00:09:38,132
Oh, I love love.
270
00:09:38,199 --> 00:09:39,734
I also hate tomatoes,
271
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,836
and those are a couple
of things about me.
272
00:09:41,902 --> 00:09:43,104
- Good to know.
- Uh, yes.
273
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:44,372
I am glad we got to the bottom of that.
274
00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:51,645
Hey. I gave Shiki the message.
275
00:09:51,712 --> 00:09:52,880
It wasn't easy.
276
00:09:52,947 --> 00:09:54,682
The editor was very curious
277
00:09:54,749 --> 00:09:56,217
as to why I just showed
up with no appointment.
278
00:09:56,283 --> 00:09:57,752
Uh, you're back.
279
00:09:57,818 --> 00:09:58,869
Hey.
280
00:09:58,870 --> 00:09:59,920
Can I help you?
281
00:09:59,987 --> 00:10:01,689
Uh, I just stopped by to let you know
282
00:10:01,756 --> 00:10:03,424
how things were going with the article.
283
00:10:03,491 --> 00:10:04,959
Okay.
284
00:10:05,026 --> 00:10:07,261
Right, uh, so I dropped by the bank,
285
00:10:07,328 --> 00:10:09,263
and they're putting me
in touch with a woman
286
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:11,132
who was a young teller at the time,
287
00:10:11,198 --> 00:10:14,301
so I'm gonna give her a call,
and that is where we're at.
288
00:10:14,368 --> 00:10:15,903
Okay, that's it, yeah.
289
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,304
Uh, feels like this
could've been an email
290
00:10:17,371 --> 00:10:18,689
or a non-share, really.
291
00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,007
Mm.
292
00:10:20,074 --> 00:10:21,976
- So, what did she say?
- Did you read her the message?
293
00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:23,411
Yes, I did.
294
00:10:23,477 --> 00:10:25,046
I read the message that
you guys workshopped,
295
00:10:25,112 --> 00:10:27,681
and let me say again,
I was not a fan of it.
296
00:10:27,748 --> 00:10:30,718
"Sup. Cool you're still around, Shiki.
297
00:10:30,785 --> 00:10:33,320
Would love to hear the
haps sometime. Maybe."
298
00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:38,926
That's... that's it. That's all he said.
299
00:10:38,993 --> 00:10:40,194
"Sup"?
300
00:10:40,261 --> 00:10:41,312
And?
301
00:10:41,313 --> 00:10:42,363
And...
302
00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:44,899
she had a response.
303
00:10:44,965 --> 00:10:46,100
"Hey."
304
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,685
"Hey"? That's it?
305
00:10:47,686 --> 00:10:49,203
Oh, she's good.
306
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:51,272
What? How is that
good? What do we do now?
307
00:10:51,338 --> 00:10:53,174
Sasappis is freaking
out, which makes sense
308
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,042
because, clearly, that
was terrible advice.
309
00:10:55,109 --> 00:10:56,177
No, no, no, no, no.
310
00:10:56,243 --> 00:10:58,913
If she's playing the game,
that means she's interested.
311
00:10:58,979 --> 00:11:01,282
All we have to do now is
craft the perfect reply.
312
00:11:01,348 --> 00:11:03,150
Good news is we have a week to do it,
313
00:11:03,217 --> 00:11:04,919
anything sooner than
that is just thirsty.
314
00:11:04,985 --> 00:11:06,387
I am so out of my element
315
00:11:06,454 --> 00:11:07,822
with this written communication thing.
316
00:11:07,888 --> 00:11:09,857
Funny guys must clean up these days.
317
00:11:09,924 --> 00:11:12,093
I'd be friendzoning everybody, hard.
318
00:11:15,096 --> 00:11:17,331
Good news, Samantha. We found out
319
00:11:17,398 --> 00:11:19,800
that Flower has a deep dark
secret about the robbery.
320
00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:21,302
Oh, amazing. What is it?
321
00:11:21,368 --> 00:11:24,004
No, no, that's it. We
just found out she has one.
322
00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:25,773
Is that enough to go off?
323
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,174
Now let's talk byline.
324
00:11:27,241 --> 00:11:29,176
Alberta and I are fine
if your name comes first,
325
00:11:29,243 --> 00:11:30,878
since you'll be doing
most of the typing.
326
00:11:30,945 --> 00:11:31,946
However...
327
00:11:32,012 --> 00:11:34,081
Okay, just had a pretty
intense acid flashback,
328
00:11:34,148 --> 00:11:36,217
but I remember before that,
you guys were asking me
329
00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:38,018
a bunch of questions about the robbery.
330
00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:40,054
Why were you doing that?
331
00:11:40,121 --> 00:11:43,023
Because... we're interested
in your life, Flower.
332
00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:45,759
And now you're talking to Sam,
who wanted to write the article
333
00:11:45,826 --> 00:11:46,894
about me before...
334
00:11:46,895 --> 00:11:49,763
Oh, my God, she's piecing
it together in real time.
335
00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:52,066
Nobody move. She has one plus
one, but I'm not confident
336
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,434
she realizes it makes two.
337
00:11:53,501 --> 00:11:55,936
This is ridiculous. Flower, I'm sorry.
338
00:11:56,003 --> 00:11:57,438
The editor didn't like my other ideas,
339
00:11:57,505 --> 00:11:59,473
and I was desperate,
so I pitched your story.
340
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,259
Whoa. Not groovy, Sam.
341
00:12:01,260 --> 00:12:02,977
I know.
342
00:12:03,043 --> 00:12:05,980
It was wrong, but I still don't
get why you don't want the article.
343
00:12:06,046 --> 00:12:07,348
Yeah, what are you hiding, Flower?
344
00:12:07,414 --> 00:12:08,849
Yes, just tell us, Flower.
345
00:12:08,916 --> 00:12:10,851
Why are you so afraid to share
346
00:12:10,918 --> 00:12:12,486
that which you claim
to be the most proud of?
347
00:12:12,553 --> 00:12:15,156
Because I'm not proud of it, okay?
348
00:12:15,222 --> 00:12:16,991
The money never went to any good cause.
349
00:12:17,057 --> 00:12:18,225
The commune never donated it.
350
00:12:18,292 --> 00:12:19,860
What? Why not?
351
00:12:19,927 --> 00:12:22,496
Because before they could
give it away, I stole it.
352
00:12:25,966 --> 00:12:28,002
Really? No one else gasped?
353
00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,470
Well, I guess if you're
not gasping at that,
354
00:12:29,537 --> 00:12:31,205
you're simply not a gasper.
355
00:12:36,243 --> 00:12:38,546
After the bank robbery, the
commune spent weeks debating
356
00:12:38,612 --> 00:12:40,981
what to do with the money.
357
00:12:41,048 --> 00:12:42,416
Seven...
358
00:12:42,483 --> 00:12:43,851
Eight...
359
00:12:43,918 --> 00:12:45,119
And... all right,
360
00:12:45,186 --> 00:12:49,890
so that's nine for helping out
the feral cats of Costa Rica.
361
00:12:49,957 --> 00:12:52,092
And one for narwhals.
362
00:12:52,159 --> 00:12:54,261
Damn it, Brenda. It has to be unanimous.
363
00:12:54,328 --> 00:12:55,996
- I'm not changing my vote.
- Look,
364
00:12:56,063 --> 00:13:00,301
Brenda, the feral cats of Costa
Rica live in awful conditions.
365
00:13:00,367 --> 00:13:03,571
They sleep in the dirt.
366
00:13:03,637 --> 00:13:06,540
They-they have no
escape from the elements.
367
00:13:06,607 --> 00:13:09,043
They eat out of the garbage.
368
00:13:11,045 --> 00:13:12,513
I have an idea.
369
00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:16,884
What if we used the money
to help people in need.
370
00:13:16,951 --> 00:13:19,353
Like, specifically, us.
371
00:13:21,956 --> 00:13:24,225
No, guys, the narwhals need us.
372
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,027
No, feral cats, Brenda, come on.
373
00:13:27,094 --> 00:13:30,030
So, then Ira and I took
the money and bolted,
374
00:13:30,097 --> 00:13:31,599
and then I got attacked by a bear,
375
00:13:31,665 --> 00:13:33,901
and I've had an eternity
to think about what I did.
376
00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:35,636
Well, it sounds like
you just made a mistake.
377
00:13:35,703 --> 00:13:38,272
No, Sam, I'm a fraud.
378
00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,474
I wanted to be a person
who helped others,
379
00:13:40,541 --> 00:13:44,211
but I just helped myself.
380
00:13:47,448 --> 00:13:49,550
- Well, now I feel bad.
- Yeah, me, too.
381
00:13:49,617 --> 00:13:51,585
Sam should've never
written that article.
382
00:13:51,652 --> 00:13:53,554
But you told me to.
383
00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:56,123
We're dead, and just
looking for exciting things
384
00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:57,658
to happen around here
to fill up the days.
385
00:13:57,725 --> 00:13:59,260
Why are you listening to us?
386
00:14:01,495 --> 00:14:03,230
So...
387
00:14:03,297 --> 00:14:05,633
did you get a reply
from Sasappis for me?
388
00:14:05,699 --> 00:14:09,336
No, they all w... Uh, he
wanted me to wait a week.
389
00:14:09,403 --> 00:14:11,905
- I don't know.
- Oh. Okay.
390
00:14:11,972 --> 00:14:13,040
I understand.
391
00:14:13,107 --> 00:14:14,241
Wait a minute.
392
00:14:14,308 --> 00:14:16,677
This is crazy. He's playing games.
393
00:14:16,744 --> 00:14:18,912
And, as a woman, I
know you want the truth.
394
00:14:18,979 --> 00:14:21,682
The truth is Sasappis loves
you, and he's always loved you,
395
00:14:21,749 --> 00:14:23,117
and he always will love you,
396
00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:24,618
and I can't think of a better person
397
00:14:24,685 --> 00:14:27,221
for you to hopefully one
day spend eternity with.
398
00:14:27,288 --> 00:14:30,357
Whoa. That's a little intense.
399
00:14:30,424 --> 00:14:32,026
- Oh, God.
- Oh, no, no, no.
400
00:14:32,092 --> 00:14:34,228
It's cool, I guess.
401
00:14:34,295 --> 00:14:37,665
I-I got a thing in the, uh, copy room.
402
00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:39,633
Oh, God, wait.
403
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,135
Did you not want me to come in?
404
00:14:41,201 --> 00:14:42,503
To my office?
405
00:14:42,569 --> 00:14:44,638
I'm sorry, I need to talk to you, Lewis.
406
00:14:44,705 --> 00:14:46,307
I really appreciate the opportunity,
407
00:14:46,373 --> 00:14:47,491
but I can't write the article.
408
00:14:47,492 --> 00:14:48,609
Excuse me?
409
00:14:48,676 --> 00:14:51,512
I just realized it would,
it would hurt a friend.
410
00:14:51,578 --> 00:14:53,681
Again, email.
411
00:14:53,747 --> 00:14:57,217
Okay, email. I get that.
412
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,989
Knock, knock.
413
00:15:02,056 --> 00:15:04,391
I don't want to see
anyone right now, Alberta.
414
00:15:06,393 --> 00:15:07,961
I just have one thing I got to tell you,
415
00:15:08,028 --> 00:15:09,229
then I'll leave you be.
416
00:15:11,065 --> 00:15:12,733
I never shared the
stage with Cab Calloway.
417
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,968
I know I always brag about that,
418
00:15:15,035 --> 00:15:16,303
but it didn't happen.
419
00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:19,073
I did share a cab with him once.
420
00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:22,009
Nope! You know what?
Ah! I'm lying again.
421
00:15:22,076 --> 00:15:23,510
I never even met the man.
422
00:15:24,545 --> 00:15:27,081
And I was never at the Boston Tea Party.
423
00:15:27,147 --> 00:15:28,549
I was in Boston
424
00:15:28,615 --> 00:15:29,983
at a tea party,
425
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:32,219
but it was at my Aunt Geraldine's house.
426
00:15:32,286 --> 00:15:33,487
It was a lovely affair.
427
00:15:33,554 --> 00:15:35,389
Why are you guys telling me this?
428
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:38,192
None of us lived up to
exactly who we wanted to be.
429
00:15:38,258 --> 00:15:40,060
That doesn't make you a fraud.
430
00:15:40,127 --> 00:15:42,196
You're the biggest
do-gooder of all us ghosts.
431
00:15:42,262 --> 00:15:44,131
Granted, that's a selfish crew.
432
00:15:44,198 --> 00:15:45,632
But you set the bar,
433
00:15:45,699 --> 00:15:47,768
and you need to know that.
434
00:15:47,835 --> 00:15:49,136
Thanks, guys.
435
00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:52,506
Flower, hey.
436
00:15:52,573 --> 00:15:55,409
I wanted to tell you I'm
not gonna write the article,
437
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,344
and I'm sorry I went behind your back.
438
00:15:57,411 --> 00:16:00,547
You had a moment of
weakness. I know the feeling.
439
00:16:01,448 --> 00:16:03,350
Hmm, I wonder what Ira
did with all that money.
440
00:16:03,417 --> 00:16:05,786
Me, too. Ira wanted to
blow it all on a house,
441
00:16:05,853 --> 00:16:08,188
and I was like, "No, we
should open a business."
442
00:16:08,255 --> 00:16:10,391
You know, so we didn't
have to rob any more banks.
443
00:16:10,457 --> 00:16:11,592
Oh, what kind of business?
444
00:16:11,658 --> 00:16:13,227
A fair trade coffee shop
445
00:16:13,293 --> 00:16:14,661
that totally paid the bean farmers
446
00:16:14,728 --> 00:16:16,363
what they should get
paid, and was, like,
447
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,665
not bad for the earth, but Ira said,
448
00:16:18,732 --> 00:16:20,267
"Daisy, we don't know the first thing
449
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,402
about starting a business."
450
00:16:21,468 --> 00:16:22,736
Daisy?
451
00:16:22,803 --> 00:16:24,772
Yeah, that was Ira's nickname for me
452
00:16:24,838 --> 00:16:27,040
'cause I was his special flower.
453
00:16:27,107 --> 00:16:29,243
Also, 'cause it's a
weed and I love weed.
454
00:16:29,309 --> 00:16:31,211
Come with me, now.
455
00:16:31,278 --> 00:16:32,479
Okay.
456
00:16:37,251 --> 00:16:38,719
What is this?
457
00:16:38,786 --> 00:16:40,687
It's your fair trade
coffee shop, Flower,
458
00:16:40,754 --> 00:16:42,756
except it's got, like,
a hundred locations.
459
00:16:42,823 --> 00:16:44,391
Someone stole my idea?
460
00:16:44,458 --> 00:16:46,393
Oh, she's so close to getting it.
461
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,561
God love her.
462
00:16:47,628 --> 00:16:50,097
Wow. Read this.
463
00:16:50,164 --> 00:16:53,734
"The founder of Daisy's
Coffee Shop is Ira Klein.
464
00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:55,536
In memory of his late girlfriend,
465
00:16:55,602 --> 00:16:58,272
profits go toward
underprivileged communities
466
00:16:58,338 --> 00:16:59,673
and bear safety education."
467
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,544
Ira made my dream come true.
468
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:06,447
Now that is a good ending
to your article, Sam.
469
00:17:06,513 --> 00:17:07,714
Maybe you should just write it.
470
00:17:07,781 --> 00:17:09,183
Are you sure?
471
00:17:09,249 --> 00:17:11,452
I was so worried about people, like,
472
00:17:11,518 --> 00:17:14,288
judging me for my biggest mistake, but,
473
00:17:14,354 --> 00:17:16,256
now I see something
groovy came out of it.
474
00:17:17,658 --> 00:17:19,827
Also is anyone else seeing that color?
475
00:17:19,893 --> 00:17:21,662
Is there even a name for that?
476
00:17:21,728 --> 00:17:23,764
And the horse has left the stable.
477
00:17:28,402 --> 00:17:29,670
Well, I have some news.
478
00:17:29,736 --> 00:17:31,638
Lewis loved the bank robbery article.
479
00:17:31,705 --> 00:17:33,674
Yes!
480
00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,343
And-and he said Daisy's Coffee
Shop is even cool with it.
481
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:38,412
Apparently, the statute
of limitations ran out,
482
00:17:38,479 --> 00:17:39,813
and they think it
makes them look badass.
483
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,281
Ooh, they're not wrong.
484
00:17:41,348 --> 00:17:42,783
Best news for last,
485
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,718
he wants me to come in next
week to pitch more ideas.
486
00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:46,687
That's incredible. Babe,
487
00:17:46,753 --> 00:17:47,955
I'm so proud of you.
488
00:17:47,956 --> 00:17:49,156
Thank you.
489
00:17:49,223 --> 00:17:50,858
Alberta, I heard you were very helpful
490
00:17:50,924 --> 00:17:52,860
with Sam's article, which I
thought should be acknowledged.
491
00:17:52,926 --> 00:17:55,128
Aw, thanks, Pete. You're a good friend.
492
00:17:55,195 --> 00:17:57,531
Oh, friend. Wow, thank you.
493
00:17:57,598 --> 00:18:00,467
Hello, friendzone. I'm in.
494
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:01,535
While you are at
495
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:05,439
the magazine, you can give Shiki
496
00:18:05,506 --> 00:18:07,140
her next message.
497
00:18:07,207 --> 00:18:08,342
Jay nailed it.
498
00:18:08,408 --> 00:18:11,545
It's, "yo yo yo."
499
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,380
The simplicity, right?
500
00:18:13,447 --> 00:18:14,915
You know what? No.
501
00:18:14,982 --> 00:18:17,217
No more aloof messages.
I can't take the waiting.
502
00:18:17,284 --> 00:18:20,254
I can't take not being
honest. I'm not a games guy.
503
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,723
I'm looking for a woman who
wants a dead deer on her doorstep,
504
00:18:22,789 --> 00:18:24,892
and when I find her, I'm
gonna love her forever.
505
00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:26,660
I am so glad you said that
506
00:18:26,727 --> 00:18:29,630
because, the last time I
went in, I kind of lost it,
507
00:18:29,696 --> 00:18:31,398
and I basically said exactly that.
508
00:18:31,465 --> 00:18:33,400
What? Well, what'd she
say? Did she like it?
509
00:18:33,467 --> 00:18:34,801
Not really.
510
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:36,637
Seriously?
511
00:18:36,703 --> 00:18:37,804
Fix this. Jay!
512
00:18:37,871 --> 00:18:39,806
- Uh, he can't hear you.
- What's he saying?
513
00:18:39,873 --> 00:18:41,775
I want the games back, please.
514
00:18:41,842 --> 00:18:43,310
He's thanking me.
515
00:18:43,377 --> 00:18:44,811
You ruined everything.
516
00:18:44,878 --> 00:18:46,747
You're welcome.
517
00:18:46,813 --> 00:18:49,950
Hey, did I ever tell you guys
about the time I robbed a bank?
518
00:18:50,017 --> 00:18:51,618
Okay.
519
00:18:57,691 --> 00:18:58,825
Okay, I mean, I get it.
520
00:18:58,892 --> 00:19:00,527
I guess people just play games,
521
00:19:00,594 --> 00:19:03,430
but I don't love that my
husband is so good at it.
522
00:19:03,497 --> 00:19:04,631
Okay.
523
00:19:04,698 --> 00:19:08,335
I've been meaning to show
you this for a while now.
524
00:19:08,402 --> 00:19:11,405
Here. This is a screengrab
of a text that I sent you
525
00:19:11,471 --> 00:19:13,740
exactly one minute after
your cab pulled away,
526
00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:15,208
the night of our first date.
527
00:19:15,275 --> 00:19:16,360
Oh, cute.
528
00:19:16,361 --> 00:19:17,444
Read it.
529
00:19:17,511 --> 00:19:20,914
"Samcakes... is it okay
that I call you that?
530
00:19:20,981 --> 00:19:23,216
I feel like that'll
be my nickname for you.
531
00:19:23,283 --> 00:19:25,919
I'll call you Samcakes and
you'll call me Jay-bae"?
532
00:19:25,986 --> 00:19:27,688
I know. Keep reading.
533
00:19:27,754 --> 00:19:29,256
"I know you're not supposed
to say stuff like that,
534
00:19:29,323 --> 00:19:30,891
and maybe I'm tipsy, but I like you.
535
00:19:30,958 --> 00:19:33,393
Like, really like you.
536
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:36,597
And I think you might be the one."
537
00:19:36,663 --> 00:19:38,231
Oh, I never got that text.
538
00:19:38,298 --> 00:19:40,901
Yeah, because by some grace
of God it never went through.
539
00:19:42,336 --> 00:19:44,004
Okay, yeah, I would've
run for the hills.
540
00:19:44,071 --> 00:19:45,906
- Obviously.
- I mean, you were psycho.
541
00:19:45,973 --> 00:19:48,342
That guy's gonna crawl inside of
your skin and wear you to prom.
542
00:19:48,408 --> 00:19:49,543
Okay, see?
543
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:50,811
- Now will you help me?
- Fine, Sass.
544
00:19:50,877 --> 00:19:54,247
Shiki will get a "yo yo yo" on Tuesday.
545
00:19:54,314 --> 00:19:56,650
I can't believe I'm using
my ghost powers for this,
546
00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:59,419
but, I guess, if it means
you two could end up together
547
00:19:59,486 --> 00:20:01,722
to do whatever it is that ghosts do...
548
00:20:01,788 --> 00:20:03,624
I was wondering about this. So, tell me,
549
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,592
can ghosts actually have sex?
550
00:20:05,659 --> 00:20:08,595
We can. We just can't
finish. It's very frustrating.
551
00:20:08,662 --> 00:20:10,597
He says they can, but they can't finish.
552
00:20:10,664 --> 00:20:12,265
- Interesting.
- Gosh, I hate to do this,
553
00:20:12,332 --> 00:20:13,567
but I've got some work to do.
554
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:15,602
No, no, no, no, no. Sam, first question,
555
00:20:15,669 --> 00:20:17,270
can they take off their own clothes?
556
00:20:17,337 --> 00:20:19,306
Sam, come back, I want to
tell Jay about ghost sex.
557
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
41087
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