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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,949 --> 00:00:06,583 Morning. 2 00:00:06,617 --> 00:00:07,917 Come here. 3 00:00:07,952 --> 00:00:09,185 Yeah. 4 00:00:10,654 --> 00:00:12,956 Ew! Gross. Get it out of my face. 5 00:00:12,990 --> 00:00:15,392 You have left this sitting here for three days. 6 00:00:15,426 --> 00:00:17,594 Look at this disgusting plate of grapes. 7 00:00:17,628 --> 00:00:20,864 Or, a delightful dish of raisins. 8 00:00:20,898 --> 00:00:24,100 What would you do if you lived by yourself? 9 00:00:24,135 --> 00:00:26,703 I'd open a raisin shop and have boyfriends sleep over. 10 00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:29,406 Well, no boy wants to be involved 11 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:31,241 with a dirty girl. 12 00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:34,944 Okay, they all do. But you know what? 13 00:00:34,979 --> 00:00:37,080 This is my office now, and I really need you 14 00:00:37,114 --> 00:00:38,915 to start picking up after yourself. 15 00:00:38,949 --> 00:00:40,517 Is my room part of the office? 16 00:00:40,551 --> 00:00:41,651 No, of course not. 17 00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:45,388 Thank you. 18 00:00:47,058 --> 00:00:48,425 Hi. 19 00:00:48,459 --> 00:00:49,926 Sorry I am late, 20 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,795 but I had to race home this morning 21 00:00:51,829 --> 00:00:54,130 to change my clothes, if you know what I'm saying. 22 00:00:54,165 --> 00:00:56,132 I do, so please stop. 23 00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:58,835 That's not what they said. 24 00:01:00,604 --> 00:01:03,606 So, who is ready for lattes? 25 00:01:03,641 --> 00:01:05,408 Here is the receipt. 26 00:01:05,443 --> 00:01:07,043 To whom do I submit it? 27 00:01:07,078 --> 00:01:09,045 Lauren, my company is 11 days old. 28 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,713 There is no expense account. 29 00:01:10,748 --> 00:01:12,282 Oh, no problemo. 30 00:01:12,316 --> 00:01:14,384 I'll just go take it out of petty cash. 31 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:18,788 No! Huh-unh. My wallet is not petty cash. 32 00:01:18,823 --> 00:01:20,790 Yeah, you got that right. 33 00:01:20,825 --> 00:01:22,959 Ooh, nice picture. 34 00:01:22,993 --> 00:01:24,627 Wait. 102? 35 00:01:24,662 --> 00:01:28,498 Oh, my God, we weigh the exact same! 36 00:01:28,532 --> 00:01:31,101 You girls look all fancy. What's up? 37 00:01:31,135 --> 00:01:32,635 Well, it's a big day for us. 38 00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:34,137 We're meeting with what I'm hoping 39 00:01:34,171 --> 00:01:35,505 will be Valco's next client. 40 00:01:35,539 --> 00:01:37,340 Valco? 41 00:01:37,374 --> 00:01:38,975 Yeah, I finally thought of a great name 42 00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:40,243 for the company. 43 00:01:40,277 --> 00:01:42,245 What is it? 44 00:01:42,279 --> 00:01:45,148 You'll like it when you see it with the logo. 45 00:01:45,182 --> 00:01:49,252 Why? Does it cover up the name Valco? 46 00:01:49,286 --> 00:01:51,488 So, did Dr. Haven finally return our phone calls? 47 00:01:51,522 --> 00:01:53,389 No, she didn't, but she is having 48 00:01:53,424 --> 00:01:55,525 a book-signing at Tribeca Books today, 49 00:01:55,559 --> 00:01:57,227 and we are going to go to her. 50 00:01:57,261 --> 00:01:59,395 "Taming your Teen"? Have you read this? 51 00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:00,663 Oh, God, no. 52 00:02:00,698 --> 00:02:02,799 Parenting books are a total scam. 53 00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:05,635 My mom never read one, and look at me. 54 00:02:07,037 --> 00:02:09,139 Listen to this. 55 00:02:09,173 --> 00:02:10,807 "Like toddlers, 56 00:02:10,841 --> 00:02:13,276 "teenagers subconsciously want boundaries. 57 00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:15,311 "It's up to parents to strap their teens 58 00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:18,114 into what I call the invisible stroller." 59 00:02:18,149 --> 00:02:22,452 Did you ever want to strap me into an invisible stroller? 60 00:02:22,486 --> 00:02:24,487 Okay, here's what I'm thinking. 61 00:02:24,522 --> 00:02:26,156 We go to the book signing, 62 00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:28,158 start up a little conversation with Dr. Haven, 63 00:02:28,192 --> 00:02:29,659 invite her to coffee, 64 00:02:29,693 --> 00:02:31,661 and then I pitch the company to her. 65 00:02:31,695 --> 00:02:34,998 Is the coffee to keep her awake? 'Cause...[ snores ] 66 00:02:35,032 --> 00:02:37,000 Okay, I've only been doing this 67 00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:39,469 since you were french-kissing your hand. 68 00:02:40,804 --> 00:02:42,472 What do you have? 69 00:02:42,506 --> 00:02:44,007 Okay, let's see. 70 00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:46,176 What can we learn about Judy? 71 00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:48,845 Okay, well, it says here she's been divorced. 72 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:51,381 Clearly, she needs a makeover. 73 00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:53,383 Um, so why don't we take her to a spa, 74 00:02:53,417 --> 00:02:54,851 get her all glammed up? 75 00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:56,519 She can maybe meet a sexy fireman, 76 00:02:56,554 --> 00:02:58,121 and it'll be all thanks to us. 77 00:02:58,155 --> 00:02:59,923 How could she not want to sign? 78 00:02:59,957 --> 00:03:02,192 Okay, so you're saying we spend a bunch of money 79 00:03:02,226 --> 00:03:04,861 that we don't have to make her feel ugly and alone. 80 00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:06,696 Yeah, if she doesn't sign right then, 81 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:08,198 I am quitting the business. 82 00:03:08,232 --> 00:03:10,033 You're kidding, right? 83 00:03:10,067 --> 00:03:11,534 'Cause if you quit, 84 00:03:11,569 --> 00:03:13,203 then I am back out on the streets. 85 00:03:13,237 --> 00:03:14,837 Oh, God. 86 00:03:14,872 --> 00:03:16,973 My staff. 87 00:03:17,007 --> 00:03:18,541 Okay, look, calm down! 88 00:03:18,576 --> 00:03:20,243 If you don't like that idea, 89 00:03:20,277 --> 00:03:21,911 there's a million more where that came from. 90 00:03:21,946 --> 00:03:24,147 Unfortunately, you have to go to school. 91 00:03:24,181 --> 00:03:27,050 Who needs school? I'm like a P.R. genius. 92 00:03:27,084 --> 00:03:28,585 Okay, what about this? How -- 93 00:03:28,619 --> 00:03:30,853 No, no, go. You're gonna be late. 94 00:03:30,888 --> 00:03:32,589 Val, I thought you said that when you started a company, 95 00:03:32,623 --> 00:03:33,856 you would want me to help. 96 00:03:33,891 --> 00:03:35,725 I did, I did, and when I get this client, 97 00:03:35,759 --> 00:03:38,328 I will start a file, and you can file it. 98 00:03:38,362 --> 00:03:40,263 Now, go to school. 99 00:03:40,297 --> 00:03:43,066 Brush up on that alphabet so you can file it real good. 100 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,567 This is so lame. 101 00:03:44,602 --> 00:03:46,236 I hate Valco. 102 00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:49,339 Yeah, at Laurenco, we'd be drinking by now. 103 00:03:52,340 --> 00:04:00,536 Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com 104 00:04:35,285 --> 00:04:36,586 Hey, girls. 105 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:38,087 Hey. What are you doing here? 106 00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:39,622 I'm on my lunch break. 107 00:04:39,656 --> 00:04:40,756 It's 11:00. 108 00:04:40,791 --> 00:04:42,091 I meant I'm skipping chemistry. 109 00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:43,426 Can you write me a note? 110 00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:46,529 Yes, because I finished school. 111 00:04:46,563 --> 00:04:48,598 Look, I'm sorry, but after I thought about 112 00:04:48,632 --> 00:04:50,766 your whole taking her out to coffee thing, 113 00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:52,768 I got a little freaked out about my future. 114 00:04:52,803 --> 00:04:54,203 I've got dreams, Val. 115 00:04:54,237 --> 00:04:57,873 Is one of them to not go to college? 116 00:04:57,908 --> 00:04:59,942 Okay, look, I'll stay out of your way, okay? 117 00:04:59,977 --> 00:05:02,044 You do your thing. I'm just here for backup. 118 00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:03,079 All right. 119 00:05:03,113 --> 00:05:04,113 Oh, my God, there's Peter! 120 00:05:04,147 --> 00:05:05,281 What? Where? 121 00:05:05,315 --> 00:05:06,882 What is he doing here? 122 00:05:06,917 --> 00:05:08,584 What do you think he's doing here? 123 00:05:08,619 --> 00:05:09,752 He wants to sign her account, too. 124 00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:10,953 Hey, guys. 125 00:05:10,988 --> 00:05:12,455 - Hello. - Hi. 126 00:05:12,489 --> 00:05:14,123 So, big Judith Haven fan, are you? 127 00:05:14,157 --> 00:05:16,125 Nah. I mean, I haven't even read it. 128 00:05:16,159 --> 00:05:17,860 I'm just here to sign her. 129 00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:20,096 Well, I'm sorry, but I think you're a little too late. 130 00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,297 Meaning? 131 00:05:21,331 --> 00:05:23,299 Meaning, uh, I got here first, 132 00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:25,735 and the back of the line's over there, buddy. 133 00:05:25,769 --> 00:05:28,638 Way to go PG-13 on him. 134 00:05:28,672 --> 00:05:30,006 Hey, you. 135 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,474 Hey, Judy. 136 00:05:31,508 --> 00:05:33,976 Is there anything you'd like me to tell her? 137 00:05:34,011 --> 00:05:36,145 Did he just call her Judy? 138 00:05:36,179 --> 00:05:38,581 And did you hear that "Hey, you"? 139 00:05:38,615 --> 00:05:39,982 They are doing it! 140 00:05:40,017 --> 00:05:41,984 It doesn't mean they're doing it. 141 00:05:42,019 --> 00:05:44,153 Oh, yeah? Well, I've had more than a few guys 142 00:05:44,187 --> 00:05:46,155 give me the old "Hey, you." 143 00:05:46,189 --> 00:05:47,657 Did it ever occur to you 144 00:05:47,691 --> 00:05:49,358 that's because they forgot your name? 145 00:05:49,393 --> 00:05:50,960 Okay, what do you want me to do? 146 00:05:50,994 --> 00:05:52,728 Ooh, I could set something on fire, 147 00:05:52,763 --> 00:05:55,131 or I could steal something and set off the alarm. 148 00:05:55,165 --> 00:05:56,265 That's real mature. 149 00:05:56,299 --> 00:05:57,967 [ both laughing ] 150 00:05:58,001 --> 00:06:00,936 All right, I'm taking cutsies. 151 00:06:00,971 --> 00:06:03,172 Come on. Excuse me. I'm sorry. 152 00:06:03,206 --> 00:06:05,341 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 153 00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:06,809 Uh... 154 00:06:06,843 --> 00:06:08,344 Judy, this is Val Tyler. 155 00:06:08,378 --> 00:06:10,446 Val used to work with me at Harper & Diggs. 156 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,682 Yes, I left to form my own agency. 157 00:06:12,716 --> 00:06:15,351 You know, a small boutique agency -- 158 00:06:15,385 --> 00:06:17,286 just a few select clients. 159 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,789 Yeah, we were very sorry to lose her. 160 00:06:19,823 --> 00:06:22,658 How many clients do you have right now? 161 00:06:22,693 --> 00:06:24,593 100. 162 00:06:25,929 --> 00:06:28,130 So, Peter, how'd you like Judith's book? 163 00:06:28,165 --> 00:06:29,498 I loved it. 164 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,100 Oh, yeah? What was your favorite part? 165 00:06:31,134 --> 00:06:32,968 Her picture. 166 00:06:33,003 --> 00:06:35,104 Which reminds me -- you know, 167 00:06:35,138 --> 00:06:37,606 I forgot to have mine signed last night. 168 00:06:37,641 --> 00:06:39,175 Maybe one too many martinis. 169 00:06:39,209 --> 00:06:41,277 Still drinking, huh? 170 00:06:41,311 --> 00:06:43,979 Uh, well, I have to. 171 00:06:44,014 --> 00:06:45,314 Attractive women make me nervous. 172 00:06:45,348 --> 00:06:46,949 [ Judith chuckles ] 173 00:06:46,983 --> 00:06:49,185 Why don't you leave it right here? 174 00:06:49,219 --> 00:06:51,353 There's a publishing party this evening, 175 00:06:51,388 --> 00:06:53,289 and I'll give it back to you there. 176 00:06:53,323 --> 00:06:54,857 Give me a chance to write 177 00:06:54,891 --> 00:06:56,525 something a little more personal. 178 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,893 All right. I'll stop by. 179 00:06:57,928 --> 00:06:59,295 Thank you. 180 00:06:59,329 --> 00:07:02,031 Uh, Dr. Haven, 181 00:07:02,065 --> 00:07:03,532 I know you're very busy, 182 00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:05,234 but I would love to sit down with you, 183 00:07:05,268 --> 00:07:06,469 maybe have coffee, and discuss -- 184 00:07:06,503 --> 00:07:08,037 Oh, I am sorry. 185 00:07:08,071 --> 00:07:09,905 I am completely overscheduled. 186 00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:12,541 Um, Dr. Haven, you know what my sister liked most 187 00:07:12,576 --> 00:07:14,110 about your book? 188 00:07:14,144 --> 00:07:16,378 It's the fact that you have a 17-year-old daughter, 189 00:07:16,413 --> 00:07:18,881 and Val has a 17-year-old sister living with her -- me. 190 00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:20,716 Total relatability. 191 00:07:20,751 --> 00:07:23,052 Oh, well, did you find the book helpful? 192 00:07:23,086 --> 00:07:24,820 So helpful. 193 00:07:24,855 --> 00:07:26,422 Never too old for a time-out -- 194 00:07:26,456 --> 00:07:28,424 how true is that? 195 00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:29,658 What school do you go to? 196 00:07:29,693 --> 00:07:30,926 Stuyvesant. 197 00:07:30,961 --> 00:07:32,328 That's where my daughter just started. 198 00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:35,164 Shut up! 199 00:07:35,198 --> 00:07:36,866 They should meet. 200 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:39,335 Absolutely. Tina doesn't know anybody yet. 201 00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:41,237 Well, then this is perfect. She'll know Holly. 202 00:07:41,271 --> 00:07:44,073 Holly's great. Everybody loves Holly. 203 00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:45,875 What are you doing this afternoon? 204 00:07:45,909 --> 00:07:48,577 Oh...oh, shoot. I have Bible study class. 205 00:07:48,612 --> 00:07:50,579 Well, you know what? I could put that off. 206 00:07:50,614 --> 00:07:52,248 Yeah, yeah, we can study up 207 00:07:52,282 --> 00:07:54,617 on some Scripture later at home. 208 00:07:54,651 --> 00:07:56,252 Well, great. 209 00:07:56,286 --> 00:07:58,687 Why don't you come by the book party this evening, 210 00:07:58,722 --> 00:08:00,556 and we can compare notes on our girls. 211 00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:02,992 Oh, I'd love to. See you there. 212 00:08:05,462 --> 00:08:07,897 Oh, nicely done. 213 00:08:07,931 --> 00:08:10,332 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 214 00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:12,568 You know, when I sign her, I'm gonna have to take you 215 00:08:12,602 --> 00:08:14,069 to a very expensive dinner. 216 00:08:14,104 --> 00:08:15,638 No, I think I'll be the one 217 00:08:15,672 --> 00:08:17,306 taking you to the expensive dinner. 218 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,009 Okay, when I sign her, you can take me. 219 00:08:21,178 --> 00:08:23,379 You were amazing. 220 00:08:23,413 --> 00:08:25,247 Hey, I know him. 221 00:08:25,282 --> 00:08:26,682 Hi, Paul. 222 00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:27,883 Hey... 223 00:08:27,918 --> 00:08:29,885 you. 224 00:08:40,129 --> 00:08:41,896 Hey, so after what you did today, 225 00:08:41,931 --> 00:08:43,498 you're probably gonna have this big position 226 00:08:43,532 --> 00:08:44,532 in Val's company, huh? 227 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:45,534 Oh, yeah. 228 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,403 Office buzz is she's going to make me a vice president. 229 00:08:47,537 --> 00:08:48,704 In charge of what? 230 00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:50,172 I don't know. 231 00:08:50,207 --> 00:08:51,407 Hey, can I be in the company? 232 00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:52,775 Sure, you're treasurer. 233 00:08:52,809 --> 00:08:54,176 You can buy my lunch. 234 00:08:54,211 --> 00:08:55,678 Now, listen. 235 00:08:55,712 --> 00:08:57,780 This Tina girl was raised really strict, 236 00:08:57,814 --> 00:08:59,548 so I'm thinking she's going to be like a pilgrim girl. 237 00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:01,417 So that means we have to act like pilgrims, too. 238 00:09:01,451 --> 00:09:03,285 No, Holly, there were no black pilgrims. 239 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,354 You got to stop skipping school. 240 00:09:05,388 --> 00:09:07,022 Hey, are you Holly? 241 00:09:07,057 --> 00:09:09,191 Oh, hi. Yeah, are you Tina? 242 00:09:09,226 --> 00:09:10,226 Yeah. 243 00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:12,294 Okay, uh, well, this is Gary. 244 00:09:12,329 --> 00:09:14,330 Is it okay if he hangs out with us? 245 00:09:14,364 --> 00:09:15,631 I don't care. Scoot. 246 00:09:18,735 --> 00:09:20,469 So... 247 00:09:20,503 --> 00:09:22,504 You go to Stuyvesant, too? 248 00:09:22,539 --> 00:09:24,440 I'm only here because my mom made me come, 249 00:09:24,474 --> 00:09:26,075 and you're only here because your sister 250 00:09:26,109 --> 00:09:28,110 wants my mom's business, so here's what happened -- 251 00:09:28,144 --> 00:09:31,380 We met. We shopped. We shared a giant cookie. 252 00:09:31,414 --> 00:09:32,848 It was great. 253 00:09:32,883 --> 00:09:35,985 Hey, what kind of cookie? Chocolate chip, oatmeal? 254 00:09:36,019 --> 00:09:37,887 Y'all got to be on the same page cookie-wise, 255 00:09:37,921 --> 00:09:39,188 or your whole plan's going to crumble. 256 00:09:39,222 --> 00:09:40,856 Ha ha ha. 257 00:09:40,891 --> 00:09:42,424 Cookie, crumble. Ha ha ha. 258 00:09:42,459 --> 00:09:44,393 Cookie, crumble. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 259 00:09:44,427 --> 00:09:45,728 Who are you? 260 00:09:45,762 --> 00:09:47,396 Gary. 261 00:09:47,430 --> 00:09:48,831 He your boyfriend? 262 00:09:48,865 --> 00:09:51,033 - No. - No. 263 00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:52,401 - Hey! - Hey! 264 00:09:52,435 --> 00:09:54,570 Whatever. God, I just -- 265 00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:56,505 I hate it when my mom sets me up on play dates. 266 00:09:56,539 --> 00:09:57,840 You know, I can find my own friends. 267 00:09:57,874 --> 00:09:59,675 Good, go find them. 268 00:09:59,709 --> 00:10:01,677 Gary! 269 00:10:01,711 --> 00:10:03,879 Oh, don't worry about it. Sometimes I come off mean. 270 00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:05,547 It's this whole anger thing I've got going on. 271 00:10:05,582 --> 00:10:07,516 Why, did you read your mom's book? 272 00:10:07,550 --> 00:10:09,084 How gross is that thing? 273 00:10:09,119 --> 00:10:10,986 I mean, how can I not be hostile? 274 00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:12,955 All right, since we all know what's going on here, 275 00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,423 and obviously you don't want to be here, 276 00:10:14,457 --> 00:10:15,591 then do me a favor and put in a good word 277 00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:17,026 for my sister? 278 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:19,228 Fine. I'll see you. 279 00:10:19,262 --> 00:10:20,763 Oh, my God, she is unbelievable. 280 00:10:20,797 --> 00:10:22,197 What? 281 00:10:22,232 --> 00:10:24,400 My mom's checking up on me. Here, hide this. 282 00:10:25,568 --> 00:10:26,702 Oh, hi, Mom. 283 00:10:26,736 --> 00:10:28,704 Hi, honey. I was just passing by. 284 00:10:28,738 --> 00:10:30,706 Thought I'd stop in, see how things are going. 285 00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:32,274 So great. 286 00:10:32,309 --> 00:10:33,943 Oh, thank you so much for hooking me up with Holly. 287 00:10:33,977 --> 00:10:35,544 She is so nice. 288 00:10:35,578 --> 00:10:37,713 Well, I thought you two might get along. 289 00:10:37,747 --> 00:10:38,881 What's in the bag? 290 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:40,649 What bag? 291 00:10:40,684 --> 00:10:42,952 The bag you just handed to Holly. 292 00:10:42,986 --> 00:10:44,987 Oh, yeah, it's nothing. Don't worry about it. 293 00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:47,022 Tina, I'd like to see what's in the bag. 294 00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:58,701 A pregnancy test? Get up. 295 00:10:58,735 --> 00:10:59,835 - No, Mom -- - Now! 296 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,607 It's mine. 297 00:11:09,245 --> 00:11:11,347 But it's not mine. 298 00:11:14,084 --> 00:11:16,719 Well, we have to be going. 299 00:11:16,753 --> 00:11:18,620 Good luck with... everything. 300 00:11:18,655 --> 00:11:20,122 Let's go. 301 00:11:20,156 --> 00:11:22,591 Um, Mom, I think I should stay. 302 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,760 Holly's kind of freaked, and -- 303 00:11:24,794 --> 00:11:27,162 Tina, she is not an appropriate friend, okay? Let's go. 304 00:11:27,197 --> 00:11:29,298 No, come on, look, doesn't your book say 305 00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:32,568 that after parents, peers are the best support system? 306 00:11:32,602 --> 00:11:34,136 All right. 307 00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:36,105 But I don't want you hanging around here long. 308 00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:38,240 Okay. Thanks. I'll see you later. 309 00:11:40,176 --> 00:11:42,044 Thanks. 310 00:11:46,282 --> 00:11:48,317 Why did you do that? You just met that girl. 311 00:11:48,351 --> 00:11:49,818 I don't know about you, 312 00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:51,653 but I found her a bit impolite. 313 00:11:51,688 --> 00:11:54,490 Did you see her face? She was scared to death. 314 00:11:54,524 --> 00:11:57,326 And, oh, my God, her mom? Can you believe her? 315 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,929 Yeah. She's gonna make one wicked-ass grandma. 316 00:12:00,964 --> 00:12:02,765 - Where you going? - To the bathroom. 317 00:12:02,799 --> 00:12:05,634 I gotta go find out if I'm pregnant. 318 00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:15,878 Hey, you okay? 319 00:12:15,912 --> 00:12:17,679 Yeah. Hey, look, as long as you're here, 320 00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:19,114 you mind guarding the door? 321 00:12:19,149 --> 00:12:21,350 Oh, sure, no problem. 322 00:12:21,384 --> 00:12:25,554 So, how long does the test take? 323 00:12:25,588 --> 00:12:27,523 The box says three minutes. 324 00:12:28,925 --> 00:12:32,294 Hey, look, just so you know, I'm not a slut, okay? 325 00:12:32,328 --> 00:12:34,063 Oh, I didn't think you were. 326 00:12:34,097 --> 00:12:36,031 Probably a little looser than I should be, but... 327 00:12:36,066 --> 00:12:38,567 Probably. 328 00:12:38,601 --> 00:12:40,969 God, this is the longest three minutes of my life. 329 00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:42,938 Okay, so, uh, let's talk. 330 00:12:42,972 --> 00:12:45,274 Tell me something about yourself. 331 00:12:45,308 --> 00:12:48,644 Um...I think I might be pregnant. 332 00:12:48,678 --> 00:12:52,114 Okay, um, so where, uh... where you from? 333 00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:54,516 Chicago -- where I wasn't pregnant. 334 00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:56,518 Oh. Okay, let's talk about me. 335 00:12:56,553 --> 00:12:58,353 Um, ask me anything. 336 00:12:58,388 --> 00:13:00,122 Have you ever been pregnant? 337 00:13:00,156 --> 00:13:01,690 Hold on a minute. 338 00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:03,192 It's me, it's me. I need to talk to you for a second. 339 00:13:03,226 --> 00:13:04,793 Okay. 340 00:13:04,828 --> 00:13:06,528 Um, sorry for interrupting the proceedings, 341 00:13:06,563 --> 00:13:08,063 but, um, I'm $4 short on the bill. 342 00:13:08,098 --> 00:13:09,765 Sorry, one second. 343 00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:12,734 Okay, here you go. 344 00:13:12,769 --> 00:13:14,803 I'd kind of like to leave a nice tip. 345 00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:16,004 Oh, my God. 346 00:13:16,039 --> 00:13:18,640 I know. Get out of here. 347 00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:20,676 No. No, no. The stick -- it's pink. 348 00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:22,644 Ooh, is she having a girl? 349 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:24,847 No. No, no. It means that I'm not pregnant. 350 00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:26,448 Oh, my God, you're not pregnant! 351 00:13:26,483 --> 00:13:27,883 Oh, my God, I'm not pregnant! 352 00:13:27,917 --> 00:13:29,685 Congratulations. 353 00:13:29,719 --> 00:13:31,153 - Thank you. - No. Thank you. 354 00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:33,856 - For what? - I'm never having sex. 355 00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:35,224 Me neither. 356 00:13:35,258 --> 00:13:37,326 Well, you know, not a ton. 357 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,660 Take it easy, okay? 358 00:13:38,695 --> 00:13:40,095 Maybe I'll see you around school. 359 00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:41,763 Thank you. Hey, I owe you. 360 00:13:41,798 --> 00:13:44,433 No, you don't. Just put in a good word for my sister, okay? 361 00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,335 You got a second choice? 362 00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:48,237 What do you mean? 363 00:13:48,271 --> 00:13:49,905 Look, trust me, the minute that my mom saw you 364 00:13:49,939 --> 00:13:51,340 with that pregnancy test, 365 00:13:51,374 --> 00:13:53,075 She totally wrote off you and your sister. 366 00:13:53,109 --> 00:13:54,409 Oh, my God. Okay, I have to go tell Val. 367 00:13:54,444 --> 00:13:55,944 Do you know where that party is? 368 00:13:55,979 --> 00:13:57,746 Oh, yeah. I'll go with you. 369 00:13:57,780 --> 00:13:59,248 Here, get rid of this for me. 370 00:13:59,282 --> 00:14:00,315 Okay. 371 00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:04,353 Ew! 372 00:14:16,079 --> 00:14:17,847 Look at Peter sucking up to her. 373 00:14:17,881 --> 00:14:19,949 He's trying to make up for his lack of ideas 374 00:14:19,983 --> 00:14:21,951 with food, alcohol, and dimples. 375 00:14:21,985 --> 00:14:23,285 Mm. 376 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,789 How good does he look a-walkin'? 377 00:14:26,823 --> 00:14:29,291 How many of those have you had? 378 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,527 Two... 379 00:14:31,561 --> 00:14:33,262 less than seven. 380 00:14:33,296 --> 00:14:36,432 [ Judith and Peter laughing ] 381 00:14:36,466 --> 00:14:38,968 He is disgusting. 382 00:14:39,002 --> 00:14:42,872 Don't you worry about that gorgeous, funny man. 383 00:14:42,906 --> 00:14:46,175 Oh, look, here comes your little ace in the hole. 384 00:14:46,209 --> 00:14:47,476 Okay, listen to me. 385 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,311 You go stick to Peter like glue 386 00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,147 until we have signed her, okay? 387 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,415 Do you hear me? 388 00:14:52,449 --> 00:14:56,018 I'm smashed, not deaf. 389 00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:57,319 Hey. 390 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,321 Hi. There you are. Oh, this must be Tina. 391 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,590 Hi. It is so nice to meet you. 392 00:15:01,625 --> 00:15:03,659 Oh, you guys look so cute together. 393 00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:05,828 You got that whole chemistry thing happening. 394 00:15:05,862 --> 00:15:08,097 Hey, you should come over and hang out at our place. 395 00:15:08,131 --> 00:15:10,266 You want to come over tonight? 396 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,667 Um, I'd better go. 397 00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:13,469 I can't let my mom see me with you. 398 00:15:13,503 --> 00:15:15,538 Why? Why? Why can't she be seen with you? 399 00:15:15,572 --> 00:15:17,406 Oh, Holly, did you curse at her? 400 00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:19,675 No. Her mom kind of thinks that I might be pregnant. 401 00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:21,210 What? 402 00:15:21,244 --> 00:15:23,179 No, I'm not, but Tina thought she might be, 403 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,181 and her mom caught her with a pregnancy test, 404 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,549 and so I said it was mine. 405 00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:28,217 Why? Why would you do that? 406 00:15:28,251 --> 00:15:30,319 Because her mom is a scary, scary monster, 407 00:15:30,353 --> 00:15:32,655 and I just thought if I said the test was mine, 408 00:15:32,689 --> 00:15:34,423 then what's the difference? 409 00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:37,426 Wow. That's a really incredible thing to do. 410 00:15:37,461 --> 00:15:40,362 Yeah, but now the monster thinks I'm a ho, 411 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,598 which means that you're the guardian of a ho, 412 00:15:42,632 --> 00:15:44,333 which means that we don't get her business. 413 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,401 I'm sorry. 414 00:15:45,435 --> 00:15:46,869 No, it's okay. It's okay. 415 00:15:46,903 --> 00:15:49,004 I can still fix this. 416 00:15:49,039 --> 00:15:51,707 Ooh, I know what to do. Come with me. 417 00:15:51,741 --> 00:15:53,442 Why do I have to go? 418 00:15:53,477 --> 00:15:54,944 Because I need you to stand nearby 419 00:15:54,978 --> 00:15:56,479 and look sad and troubled. 420 00:15:56,513 --> 00:15:59,515 [ gasps ] Sushi. 421 00:15:59,549 --> 00:16:02,117 Oh. Hello, Val. 422 00:16:02,152 --> 00:16:03,152 Hi, Judith. 423 00:16:03,186 --> 00:16:05,120 You all right? 424 00:16:05,155 --> 00:16:06,856 Oh, I don't know. 425 00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:09,859 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. 426 00:16:09,893 --> 00:16:12,528 I just am so confused. 427 00:16:12,562 --> 00:16:14,797 Can I -- no. 428 00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:17,132 What? 429 00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:19,101 Well, it's just that I could really use 430 00:16:19,135 --> 00:16:23,739 some of your expert advice on that one over there. 431 00:16:32,048 --> 00:16:34,049 Oh. 432 00:16:34,084 --> 00:16:36,151 Do you really want to know what I think? 433 00:16:36,186 --> 00:16:38,387 Oh, yeah. I don't know where else to turn. 434 00:16:38,421 --> 00:16:41,323 I mean, how did she get so out of control? 435 00:16:41,358 --> 00:16:42,992 It's you. 436 00:16:43,026 --> 00:16:44,159 I'm sorry? 437 00:16:44,194 --> 00:16:46,028 May I speak freely? 438 00:16:46,062 --> 00:16:47,429 More freely than that? 439 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,065 It's Holly's environment. 440 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,867 She lives with you, right, 441 00:16:51,902 --> 00:16:54,136 - and it's just the two of you? - Yeah. 442 00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:55,804 So there's really no traditional 443 00:16:55,839 --> 00:16:58,207 parental figure for her to look up to. 444 00:16:58,241 --> 00:17:00,876 There are no boundaries, no invisible stroller, 445 00:17:00,911 --> 00:17:02,378 if you will. 446 00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:05,214 She obviously has no structure, no rules. 447 00:17:05,248 --> 00:17:07,883 There's really no parenting going on. 448 00:17:07,918 --> 00:17:10,486 At best, you're a substitute. 449 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,856 I -- 450 00:17:13,890 --> 00:17:15,491 I do the best I can. 451 00:17:15,525 --> 00:17:17,726 Oh, well, I'm sure you do. But look, you're very young. 452 00:17:17,761 --> 00:17:20,229 You've got your own life, your own friends. 453 00:17:20,263 --> 00:17:22,531 This is your time to be selfish. 454 00:17:22,566 --> 00:17:23,599 It is? 455 00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,034 But you can't. 456 00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:26,535 No, I can't. 457 00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:28,203 Because? 458 00:17:28,238 --> 00:17:30,906 Because I have a teen in the house. 459 00:17:30,941 --> 00:17:33,075 That's right. 460 00:17:33,109 --> 00:17:34,944 And you also have a new business 461 00:17:34,978 --> 00:17:36,512 in the house, don't you? 462 00:17:36,546 --> 00:17:37,746 Yes, Doctor. 463 00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:41,250 And I'd imagine you're consumed by it. 464 00:17:41,284 --> 00:17:42,885 Ooh, you're good. 465 00:17:42,919 --> 00:17:44,887 I know. 466 00:17:44,921 --> 00:17:47,356 So, perhaps Holly really isn't a priority. 467 00:17:47,390 --> 00:17:49,592 Then, you see, the questions isn't 468 00:17:49,626 --> 00:17:51,260 what's wrong with Holly. 469 00:17:51,294 --> 00:17:54,096 The question is, what's wrong with you? 470 00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:56,765 Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 471 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,801 Hold up there, Judy. 472 00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:01,370 Val, you're not listening to this garbage, are you? 473 00:18:01,404 --> 00:18:03,472 Well, she is a doctor. 474 00:18:03,506 --> 00:18:06,041 No, no. Okay, look... 475 00:18:06,076 --> 00:18:07,676 I know that you're an expert, 476 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,111 but, oh, my God, what were you smoking 477 00:18:09,145 --> 00:18:10,546 when you wrote this book? 478 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:13,115 Okay. Holly, I don't think -- 479 00:18:13,149 --> 00:18:14,950 No, no, no. It's quite all right. 480 00:18:14,985 --> 00:18:17,386 I like getting feedback from young people. 481 00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,288 Oh, okay, good, 'cause here's some feedback. 482 00:18:19,322 --> 00:18:21,457 I am so glad that you're not my mom, 483 00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,125 because if you were, 484 00:18:23,159 --> 00:18:25,628 I would have been in some gross diner bathroom 485 00:18:25,662 --> 00:18:27,630 all by myself, scared to death, 486 00:18:27,664 --> 00:18:29,665 taking a pregnancy test. 487 00:18:29,699 --> 00:18:31,734 But instead, I had somebody to go to -- 488 00:18:31,768 --> 00:18:33,302 this woman, 489 00:18:33,336 --> 00:18:35,437 the one who you say is a horrible guardian. 490 00:18:35,472 --> 00:18:36,805 Well, you know what? 491 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,741 I didn't have to hide it from her. 492 00:18:38,775 --> 00:18:41,644 I mean, she wasn't happy. Believe me, so not happy. 493 00:18:41,678 --> 00:18:43,646 But she was there for me. 494 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,147 So when I hear you say 495 00:18:45,181 --> 00:18:47,082 that my sister's not doing a good job, 496 00:18:47,117 --> 00:18:48,651 and that I'm not a priority, well, you know what? 497 00:18:48,685 --> 00:18:50,486 It makes me want to tell you to write a book 498 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,987 about pissing me off, 499 00:18:52,022 --> 00:18:53,889 because you're totally an expert at that! 500 00:18:58,395 --> 00:19:01,997 Well, you certainly have your hands full. 501 00:19:02,032 --> 00:19:04,733 I know. I know, I know, I know. 502 00:19:08,038 --> 00:19:10,539 Hey, when you invited me over tonight, 503 00:19:10,573 --> 00:19:11,840 did you mean forever? 504 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,642 You can stay as long as you want, 505 00:19:13,677 --> 00:19:15,310 but mommy can never visit. 506 00:19:15,345 --> 00:19:16,945 I'll call you, okay? 507 00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,347 Okay, thanks. 508 00:19:18,381 --> 00:19:19,982 Bye. 509 00:19:20,016 --> 00:19:21,917 Val, I'm sorry about losing the client. 510 00:19:21,951 --> 00:19:23,485 It's okay. 511 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,587 It was worth it to hear how awesome I am. 512 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:26,822 You are awesome. 513 00:19:26,856 --> 00:19:28,390 And you are smart. 514 00:19:28,425 --> 00:19:30,893 It takes a smart girl to know how awesome I am. 515 00:19:32,662 --> 00:19:33,662 - Hey. - Hey. 516 00:19:33,697 --> 00:19:34,930 You okay? 517 00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:36,999 Oh, yeah, I'm awesome. 518 00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,635 Uh, Dr. Haven -- all yours. 519 00:19:39,669 --> 00:19:42,004 Oh, well, if it makes you feel any better, 520 00:19:42,038 --> 00:19:44,006 I don't want her, either. 521 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,875 I'm gonna sign her, but I don't want her. 522 00:19:46,910 --> 00:19:50,145 It looks like I owe you a very expensive dinner. 523 00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,548 No, I don't think so. 524 00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:54,450 Oh, that's too bad. I was going to try 525 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,452 and talk you into coming back to work for me. 526 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,021 Can I just have the cash? 527 00:19:59,055 --> 00:20:01,356 Oh, there you are. 528 00:20:01,391 --> 00:20:05,461 How did you get away from me, Peter Cottontail? 529 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,897 Lauren, it's okay. We lost the client. 530 00:20:08,932 --> 00:20:13,535 Oh. That is so sad. 531 00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:15,537 I'll get you guys a cab. 532 00:20:15,572 --> 00:20:16,705 Thank you. 533 00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:18,640 Come on, drinkie. 534 00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:20,542 Ooh, wait, I just have to get my purse. 535 00:20:20,577 --> 00:20:22,644 Okay. 536 00:20:25,454 --> 00:20:30,457 Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com 37247

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