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1
00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,480
I don't really knowif I could pinpoint,
2
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:02,550
you know, how exactlythe idea came about.
3
00:03:02,684 --> 00:03:05,987
I think that there was one day,you know, and admittedly,
4
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,388
this is one of my moredepressing days.
5
00:03:08,523 --> 00:03:10,424
But I was thinkingabout the idea
6
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:13,161
about how a cat has nine lives.
7
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,997
And not in a good way,but more in, like, thought.
8
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,632
A cat has to live nine lives!
9
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,133
Like, are youfucking kidding me?
10
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,069
I mean, I--
11
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,804
I barely have the wherewithalto live one.
12
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,337
I sat with this some more,and...
13
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,543
I thought about how I couldcreate a little show around it.
14
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:31,746
What eventually came up was,you know, there is a cat
15
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,649
um, who can't think of asingle reason to live one life,
16
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,784
who is forced to evaluate
17
00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:39,153
every other cat'swonderful plans
18
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:43,457
for how they wish to utilize,like, their... blessing.
19
00:03:44,192 --> 00:03:46,994
Yeah, yeah. Because
that's how society sees it.
20
00:03:47,128 --> 00:03:48,162
Yeah, exactly.
21
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,630
You know, in their society,
22
00:03:49,764 --> 00:03:50,865
you know,
which is not much different
23
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,432
than ours, to be honest.
24
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:54,836
But, you know,
the majority population, like,
25
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:57,505
has this concept
of a god who has,
26
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,339
you know,
bestowed upon them, you know,
27
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,543
this gift of nine lives
for a reason compared to,
28
00:04:02,944 --> 00:04:05,113
you know, all the other
inferior creatures.
29
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,082
So it's-- it's basically
the same existential shit
30
00:04:08,216 --> 00:04:09,784
that we go through, just like...
31
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,921
...nine times it.
32
00:04:14,055 --> 00:04:16,691
This guy gets it.
33
00:04:16,891 --> 00:04:19,060
We'll be right back
to talk with this genius
34
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:20,228
right here after a break.
35
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,963
From Little Kitty kitty litter.
36
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,331
If you have a little kitty
and he's a bit of a shitter,
37
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,000
use the Little Kitty litter.
38
00:04:26,768 --> 00:04:28,603
Able to breathe
a little bit?
39
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:35,877
I'm glad you texted, by the way.
40
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:37,211
Yeah, of course.
41
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:38,378
I thought we were
quickly becoming
42
00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:40,148
the happy-birthday text friends.
43
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,117
Um, so do I need to worry
about anyone coming up to us?
44
00:04:43,251 --> 00:04:44,585
Oh, God, no. I'm a writer.
45
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,220
If anyone outside
that small legion
46
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,256
knows my face, then run,
they're probably a psychopath.
47
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,824
Fair enough.
48
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,631
So, to what do I
owe this pleasure?
49
00:04:56,831 --> 00:04:58,365
What could possibly
bring you out
50
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,767
to this godforsaken city?
51
00:04:59,901 --> 00:05:02,270
A godforsaken
bachelorette party?
52
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:03,436
Oh, fuck.
53
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:04,972
-Yeah.
-Sounds fun.
54
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,941
You mispronounce miserable.
55
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,109
That bad, huh?
56
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:09,911
It's just like some
57
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:12,379
fucking stupid live for the
weekend mentality. It's dumb.
58
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,049
I-- I guess I just hang on
59
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,752
to the whole romanticism
of marriage.
60
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,121
And so the idea
of giving someone
61
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:21,589
a bachelorette party is,
62
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,924
you know,
their little rite of passage
63
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:25,560
for their last bit
of fun forever.
64
00:05:26,227 --> 00:05:27,628
It's a nice exchange
65
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,564
for spending a lifetime
not having to be alone.
66
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,967
There's something
different about you,
67
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,435
and I'm just wondering
if it's what I think it is.
68
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:40,875
Nose job.
69
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,611
Botox, breast implants.
70
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,915
You're not a virgin anymore.
71
00:05:49,584 --> 00:05:50,952
Fuck you. You're fucking not.
72
00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,020
-You better give me details.
-No details.
73
00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,589
What? A gentleman
doesn't kiss and tell?
74
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,858
More like a gentleman hasn't.
75
00:05:57,258 --> 00:05:58,693
-Oh.
-Yep.
76
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,194
Sorry. Usually just bring
it up right away.
77
00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:01,863
No, that's fine.
78
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,331
I told myself I wouldn't
bring it up because, you know,
79
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:04,832
I didn't want to be a downer.
80
00:06:04,966 --> 00:06:06,734
You're not a downer.
81
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:10,905
This is it.
82
00:06:11,873 --> 00:06:13,074
Fuck off.
83
00:06:27,188 --> 00:06:28,689
Ta-da!
84
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:21,342
You, uh...
85
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,910
You want a coffee?
86
00:07:23,044 --> 00:07:24,178
Hmm.
87
00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:26,647
Cool.
All right.
88
00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:32,485
Yes, yes, yes.
89
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,322
You're in for a treat,
by the way.
90
00:07:36,157 --> 00:07:39,060
- I could use a jolt.
- No, no, no...
91
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,163
This is so much
more than a jolt.
92
00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:45,599
I... I get to brag a little bit.
93
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:49,770
I got a new Chemex
and burr grinder
94
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:53,407
and I got Stumptown beans.
95
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:57,745
♪ God, I forgothow pretentious you are ♪
96
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,314
-Pretentious?
-My burr grinder.
97
00:08:00,448 --> 00:08:01,782
And Stumpville coffee.
98
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,351
Okay, first of all,
it's Stumptown.
99
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,886
-Yeah, whatever.
-And second of all, I--
100
00:08:12,126 --> 00:08:14,462
There's nothing wrong
with having taste.
101
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,553
This tastes like fruit
taking a shit in coffee.
102
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,389
That's what coffee is
supposed to taste like.
103
00:09:15,524 --> 00:09:16,525
-No!
-Oh, my God.
104
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,591
You need to get out more.
105
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,226
Mature your palate.
106
00:09:32,273 --> 00:09:33,607
So, how are you?
107
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,444
-I'm good.
-Oh, God.
108
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,679
-Is that how we're gonna do it?
-All right, all right.
109
00:09:38,813 --> 00:09:40,448
I don't know what you
want me to say.
110
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,882
Well, don't answer me like
you're a fucking bank teller.
111
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,451
Like, "How are you?"
112
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,952
"Good. How are you?
How's your day?"
113
00:09:45,086 --> 00:09:46,754
I honestly think
it's a pointless question.
114
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,289
Like it's fucked if you do,
fucked if you don't.
115
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,257
You know, either I say
I'm good, you know,
116
00:09:50,391 --> 00:09:51,659
and we carry on with a nice
little break from the world.
117
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,127
Or I tell you how I really feel,
118
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,628
and then the mood
turns into a bummer.
119
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,130
Oh, my God, it's not a bummer
120
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,898
if I'm the person
and I'm asking you.
121
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,534
Yeah, but that's the thing.
122
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,335
Hey, everyone says
they want to know,
123
00:10:01,469 --> 00:10:02,937
but then as soon as you tell
them, they're like...
124
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,506
...because who wants
to spend time
125
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,173
working through
someone else's problems?
126
00:10:06,307 --> 00:10:08,008
Okay, I feel like it depends
on the person, though.
127
00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:09,844
For certain superficial
relationships, hell yeah, 100%.
128
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,212
I don't actually want to know
how you're doing,
129
00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:12,680
but if it's someone
you're close to,
130
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,081
isn't that kind of point?
131
00:10:17,318 --> 00:10:19,554
-Maybe I'm wrong.
-No, you're not wrong. I just--
132
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:23,724
-I got to take it.
-I mean--
133
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,329
Hello?
134
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:30,898
Yeah, no, no.
I can talk right now.
135
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,767
All right? Hold on a second.
136
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,202
-Let's get you a beer.
-Yeah.
137
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:36,904
Hold on. Let me get--
138
00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:40,341
Sorry. Let me just get
to my desk real quick.
139
00:10:41,175 --> 00:10:42,343
Okay and--
140
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,379
Uh, yeah, so not you--
141
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,814
All right, I'm ready.
142
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,650
Um, so, uh,
143
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,986
I like the esthetic
of the heavier set one,
144
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,524
so, ballpark, or something.
I was thinking was like,
145
00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:57,992
Well, I mean,
146
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,761
do you not believes
the father's blessings?
147
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,298
Yeah, yeah.
148
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:08,903
Yeah, maybe a little bit
too creepy Russian.
149
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:11,640
Uh-- but I mean--
150
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,609
You know, somewhere
in that range?
151
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,377
I-- I got company here though,
152
00:11:16,511 --> 00:11:18,547
so I'll--
We'll talk about this later.
153
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,314
All right. Talk to you. Bye.
154
00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:24,685
Wow!
155
00:11:24,919 --> 00:11:26,453
I knew I should've made you
wait outside.
156
00:11:26,655 --> 00:11:27,656
Oh, that's fine. No, it's good.
157
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,156
You're just...
158
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:30,291
...going to ze hell.
159
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:34,728
-Is he based on your priest?
-Ooh. Um--
160
00:11:35,196 --> 00:11:37,765
Okay. Fun little Dylan update.
161
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,634
I love Dylan updates.
162
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,735
I'm not Catholic anymore.
163
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,107
You're not Catholic?
164
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,844
I'm sorry.
I'm having a hard time
165
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,648
believing this because
last time I was in town,
166
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,950
you made me go to mass with you.
167
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,353
You had fun. You got baked
in my car before we went in.
168
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,088
Couldn't have done it
without it.
169
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:04,091
Honestly, it made
watching you fascinating.
170
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,561
How long has it been?
171
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:09,797
I don't know. A couple of years.
172
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,533
How? How?
173
00:12:11,666 --> 00:12:13,200
-How?
-Yeah, how?
174
00:12:13,334 --> 00:12:16,605
I-- I just stopped believing.
175
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,805
Oh, so you're an atheist?
176
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,441
No, no, no. I believe in God.
177
00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:24,378
Um, I just don't think
of him as the Almighty,
178
00:12:24,512 --> 00:12:26,146
or, you know, the father.
179
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,449
I don't even know if I think of
him as a Him or a being at all.
180
00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:31,051
Maybe just, uh, an energy.
181
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,421
Oh, so you've traded
in Catholicism
182
00:12:34,556 --> 00:12:36,056
for New-Agey bullshit?
183
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,992
Okay. I haven't traded
in anything for anything.
184
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,127
And don't hit me with that
Mercury retrograde bullshit.
185
00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:43,931
Sort of hoped it would
have been the serial pedophilia
186
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,232
that would have done it, though.
187
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:48,035
Yeah. So fucked up.
188
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,739
And believe me,
I know how awful this sounds,
189
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,807
um, but I was kind of jealous.
190
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,476
What?
191
00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:57,646
Yeah, I mean, look, I
was an altar boy for six years.
192
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,780
I mean, why not me?
You know what was wrong with me?
193
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,583
-Oh, you're sick.
-No, no.
194
00:13:01,716 --> 00:13:03,217
Okay, hear me out. Okay?
195
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,219
If it was inevitable
that I was going to be molested,
196
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,920
why couldn't it be
at the hands of a priest
197
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,489
so I could at least sue
the Catholic Church
198
00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:10,858
instead of my poor
white trash cousin?
199
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,028
I mean, yeah, when you put it
that way, what the fuck?
200
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,597
- Right?
- Yeah.
201
00:13:15,730 --> 00:13:17,197
I mean, all I have to show
202
00:13:17,331 --> 00:13:19,033
for eight years of being
molested is the memories.
203
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,001
Hey, you can blow through
settlement money fast,
204
00:13:21,135 --> 00:13:22,369
but memories?
205
00:13:22,504 --> 00:13:23,971
Tell me about it.
206
00:13:27,308 --> 00:13:29,209
Please tell me
you don't still talk to him.
207
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,680
Who? Eric?
208
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,149
No, but I don't really talk
to any of family anymore.
209
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,586
But you would still talk to him?
210
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,020
Yeah.
211
00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:44,158
I don't know. It's that--
212
00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:48,362
Can I ask you
a personal question?
213
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,197
- Depends.
- You don't have to answer.
214
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:52,299
Just ask the fucking question.
215
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,436
What did he...
216
00:13:56,771 --> 00:13:58,138
Do?
217
00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,840
Never mind.
That's weird to wonder.
218
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,076
-It's-- Nah.
-No, no, no, it's fine.
219
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,845
It's not weird to wonder. Um--
220
00:14:06,781 --> 00:14:08,550
Everything was limited to...
221
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,452
oral.
222
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:18,459
The first time he did it
it was on my second birthday.
223
00:14:18,593 --> 00:14:21,563
-Fuck, you remember that?
-Earliest recorded memory.
224
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,733
Jesus Christ.
225
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,668
It might be the oldest recorded
memory of a blowjob.
226
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,969
Definitely the earliest
recorded memory
227
00:14:29,103 --> 00:14:31,238
of a birthday blowjob.
228
00:14:33,575 --> 00:14:35,309
Hey, tell you what.
229
00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:36,778
Let's talk about something else.
230
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,078
Yeah, fair enough.
231
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:41,783
-How about that beer I teased?
-Yeah, where is my beer?
232
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,250
Bring me my beer.
233
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,725
Nice.
234
00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:55,396
♪ I try to move onIt never subsides ♪
235
00:14:55,530 --> 00:14:59,466
♪ Here I am frozenHead deep in the tide ♪
236
00:14:59,601 --> 00:15:03,738
♪ The spark for you fadesThere's life in my eyes ♪
237
00:15:03,872 --> 00:15:07,908
♪ Lose all common senseWhen I fight ♪
238
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:12,580
♪ And you always hold me closerYou find the perfect timing ♪
239
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,017
♪ That I need to fight it ♪
240
00:15:17,151 --> 00:15:21,488
♪ Say, you always hold me closerYou find the perfect timing ♪
241
00:15:21,623 --> 00:15:23,558
♪ I can neverFind the strength ♪
242
00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:25,959
-♪ That I need to fight it... ♪
-Your turn.
243
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,361
My turn what?
244
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,697
How's the journalism biz?
245
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,267
I quit.
246
00:15:33,868 --> 00:15:35,135
Come again?
247
00:15:36,604 --> 00:15:37,839
I quit.
248
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,476
Do you care
to elaborate?
249
00:15:43,477 --> 00:15:45,245
Um...
250
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,182
Or not?
251
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,617
Uh...
252
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,152
I don't know. Um...
253
00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:55,322
Have you ever done something
intending to help people
254
00:15:55,456 --> 00:15:57,458
only to run as fast as you can
255
00:15:57,592 --> 00:15:59,393
in the opposite direction
to save yourself?
256
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,162
No, that's only because I've
given up trying to help people.
257
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:03,932
Ha-ha.
258
00:16:04,532 --> 00:16:06,601
Man, I was really passionate
when I started out.
259
00:16:06,734 --> 00:16:07,968
I remember.
260
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,470
I should have joined
the Peace Corps.
261
00:16:09,604 --> 00:16:10,705
Gotten it out of my system.
262
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,306
Then what happened?
263
00:16:12,941 --> 00:16:14,709
It's complicated.
264
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,679
-Okay...
-I don't know, I--
265
00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:20,849
I felt like when I got into it,
I was so full of idealism
266
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,483
and this nonsense about
267
00:16:22,617 --> 00:16:24,184
what I was going to do
and who I was going to be,
268
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:25,720
and, you know, you think
the world is getting
269
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,120
more progressive and it is.
270
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,423
But even at
a liberal ass outlet,
271
00:16:29,557 --> 00:16:31,225
I was still facing
the same problems
272
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,727
I would anywhere else.
273
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,697
-Explain.
-Okay, here's a good example.
274
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,332
So one of the older women
who worked there
275
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,033
came up to me
after the first few weeks
276
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,903
and asked me
how everything was going, right.
277
00:16:42,236 --> 00:16:43,237
And so I'm thinking,
278
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,939
Oh, this lady is so sweet
279
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,774
and yada, yada, yada.
You know what she says to me?
280
00:16:46,908 --> 00:16:51,345
She says that I use
too many periods in my email
281
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,616
and that a lot of people
don't like that
282
00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:57,251
because it comes off
as a little abrupt
283
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,821
and unapproachable and in
less euphemistic terms, a bitch.
284
00:16:59,954 --> 00:17:02,356
I'm serious.
285
00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:05,259
So I'm sitting there thinking,
"This is fucking ridiculous."
286
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,794
And then she leaves.
287
00:17:06,928 --> 00:17:09,463
But I honestly found myself
starting to
288
00:17:09,597 --> 00:17:12,767
put exclamation points in emails
wherever I could.
289
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:14,669
And then when I
started realizing
290
00:17:14,802 --> 00:17:16,704
that I was doing that,
I thought, "Fuck this."
291
00:17:16,838 --> 00:17:18,740
If I wasn't a woman,
this wouldn't be the case.
292
00:17:18,873 --> 00:17:21,241
I would just be seen
as decisive and assertive.
293
00:17:21,743 --> 00:17:23,443
-Says the bitch.
-Fuck you, I'm serious,
294
00:17:23,578 --> 00:17:26,446
I know, I'm sorry,
but it's fucked up.
295
00:17:26,881 --> 00:17:29,617
And that's not even
the tip of it. I mean--
296
00:17:29,817 --> 00:17:31,318
I think they mean well,
297
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,820
and I know there are
better outlets out there
298
00:17:32,954 --> 00:17:34,722
because I have friends
who work at them,
299
00:17:34,856 --> 00:17:36,390
but at the end of the day,
300
00:17:36,524 --> 00:17:38,760
it's still an old, white dude
who's the publisher.
301
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,227
Still an old, white dude
who's the editor
302
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,930
and then you start getting some
303
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,733
trickle-down diversity to fill
some quotas or some bullshit.
304
00:17:45,867 --> 00:17:48,036
Damn. Tell me
how you really feel.
305
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,137
Uh-huh.
306
00:17:50,972 --> 00:17:52,306
So, that's why you left?
307
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,943
No, I mean--
308
00:17:55,777 --> 00:17:57,579
I don't know.
I don't want to talk about it.
309
00:17:57,712 --> 00:17:59,614
Fair enough.
310
00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:03,350
♪ Each time that your loveKeeps pulling me back in ♪
311
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,354
Maybe we should drink in public?
312
00:18:07,722 --> 00:18:08,923
Yeah, this is
fucking depressing.
313
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,365
I'll be back.
314
00:18:39,621 --> 00:18:45,093
♪ Sit and love meAs my eyes fade away ♪
315
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,729
♪ And everything's gone gray ♪
316
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,843
I swear to God
he doesn't like it.
317
00:19:01,976 --> 00:19:03,678
- Every guy likes it.
- No, not Matt.
318
00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,412
You guys should have
really taken that class with me.
319
00:19:05,546 --> 00:19:07,548
I'm not paying
someone to teach...
320
00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:13,988
By the way, it has
nothing to do with me, okay?
321
00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:16,524
Good for you.
322
00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:18,559
I give amazing head.
323
00:19:18,693 --> 00:19:21,328
- Yes, I like it.
- You're a biter
324
00:19:22,997 --> 00:19:24,666
Whoa.
I have never had one complaint.
325
00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:27,434
Actually, I have had
a standing ovation.
326
00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:28,970
A standing ovation
327
00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:30,705
doesn't count if you're
giving it to yourself.
328
00:19:32,674 --> 00:19:34,341
- All of you fuck off.
- You know why
329
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,576
-he doesn't do it?
-You got chronic dry mouth.
330
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,279
Look,
his is fucking huge.
331
00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:40,748
He is a giver.
332
00:19:40,882 --> 00:19:42,449
- He likes to give--
- Oh.
333
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:44,217
Yes, exactly.
You know what I call it?
334
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,586
The meat bat man.
335
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,755
Mmm.
336
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,666
You okay?
337
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,101
Yeah.
338
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,969
Cramps. It's cramps.
339
00:20:04,639 --> 00:20:06,406
I like this place.
340
00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:07,942
It's cozy, I dig--
341
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:10,611
Yeah, perfect company
for drinking alone.
342
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,181
-Run any of these?
-Not a one.
343
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,382
I do own, like, four of them.
344
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:18,720
And the Japanese
actually have a word for people
345
00:20:18,853 --> 00:20:21,388
who have tons of books
that they've never read.
346
00:20:21,556 --> 00:20:22,957
-It's--
-I--
347
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,059
I used to read a lot,
but I just--
348
00:20:25,193 --> 00:20:26,527
I lost the habit
349
00:20:26,661 --> 00:20:28,596
and I'm definitely
worse off for it, so...
350
00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:33,067
Of course, nowadays everyone's
just on their fucking phones,
351
00:20:33,201 --> 00:20:34,936
so it's pretty hard.
352
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,805
It's probably jarring
looking down
353
00:20:37,939 --> 00:20:39,974
and not seeing it
glowing back up at you.
354
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,176
"Tsundoku."
355
00:20:42,977 --> 00:20:46,480
The habit of buying books,
never reading.
356
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,684
To my nerdy friend.
357
00:20:50,785 --> 00:20:53,121
To my cruel and unusual friend.
358
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,622
Ah.
359
00:20:54,956 --> 00:20:55,957
To friends.
360
00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:57,625
To us!
361
00:20:57,759 --> 00:21:00,628
-Batman.
-To meat Batman.
362
00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:08,301
Do I get to
hear the spontaneous brilliance?
363
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,705
Um, it's actually an idea
364
00:21:10,838 --> 00:21:12,472
I've
been working on for a while now,
365
00:21:12,607 --> 00:21:14,341
and you reminded me
of it earlier.
366
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,878
And so, you know,
I guess I'm just sort of
367
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:18,746
caught up in that.
368
00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:24,886
What's the idea, Dyl?
369
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,588
It's called SAM.
370
00:21:27,722 --> 00:21:30,925
It's an acronym
for Socks Against Monogamy.
371
00:21:31,626 --> 00:21:34,695
-Fuck, yeah, I'm hooked.
-Thanks.
372
00:21:36,531 --> 00:21:38,132
Oh, my God. Dylan, elaborate.
373
00:21:38,266 --> 00:21:41,301
Okay. You want me
to give you the pitch?
374
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:42,703
Pitch me. I want the full pitch.
375
00:21:42,837 --> 00:21:44,138
Okay. So,
376
00:21:44,272 --> 00:21:46,507
you know how socks are
hell-bent on getting lost.
377
00:21:46,641 --> 00:21:48,276
You know, like,
it's only a matter of time
378
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,511
before they inevitably get stuck
in the dryer, and, you know,
379
00:21:50,645 --> 00:21:52,146
you're stuck with a bunch
of different single socks?
380
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,649
- Oh, that struggle, honestly.
- Okay.
381
00:21:54,782 --> 00:21:57,785
So, my take is an approach
to their world
382
00:21:57,919 --> 00:22:00,353
where that's, like,
their rite of passage.
383
00:22:00,588 --> 00:22:02,322
They're born the opposite of us,
384
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:03,958
you know, together from birth.
385
00:22:04,091 --> 00:22:05,827
You know, and their
whole adolescence is built upon
386
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,029
this pretense of separating
when they come of age.
387
00:22:08,162 --> 00:22:10,164
So, like, it's sort of the group
they graduate to.
388
00:22:10,298 --> 00:22:11,532
It's SAM, you know.
389
00:22:11,666 --> 00:22:13,668
But in my story,
there is a pair of socks
390
00:22:13,801 --> 00:22:15,636
that don't want to separate.
391
00:22:15,770 --> 00:22:18,739
You know, they love each other
and they don't understand
392
00:22:18,873 --> 00:22:21,042
why there's this emphasis on
needing to go through life alone
393
00:22:21,175 --> 00:22:24,411
when you can spend it
with another person or a sock.
394
00:22:24,545 --> 00:22:26,047
Sorry. And so
when it's their time
395
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:30,383
to ceremonially
part in the dryer...
396
00:22:30,685 --> 00:22:32,419
...they decide to say,
"Fuck it,"
397
00:22:32,553 --> 00:22:34,522
and they stay together.
398
00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:40,460
Oh, I like it.
399
00:22:42,797 --> 00:22:44,098
Yeah?
400
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:46,067
Yeah.
401
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:47,835
Good.
402
00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:51,072
How do they fuck?
403
00:22:53,808 --> 00:22:56,310
-They-- They don't--
-Ah.
404
00:22:56,844 --> 00:22:58,445
That's sort of the beauty of it.
405
00:22:58,579 --> 00:23:01,148
You know, they,
uh, there's nothing physical.
406
00:23:01,282 --> 00:23:02,850
It's just...
407
00:23:03,217 --> 00:23:04,518
companionship.
408
00:23:08,122 --> 00:23:09,690
Or maybe these are
just a few of the reasons
409
00:23:09,824 --> 00:23:11,525
why I'm still a virgin.
410
00:23:11,659 --> 00:23:13,928
You're not the only
28-year-old virgin.
411
00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:17,064
Oh, you guys good?
Doing-- Doing well?
412
00:23:17,198 --> 00:23:23,771
♪ I wanna be everythingEverything to you ♪
413
00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:29,710
♪ I wanna look in your eyes ♪
414
00:23:29,844 --> 00:23:33,080
♪ Without themLooking right through ♪
415
00:23:34,515 --> 00:23:39,419
♪ Is that too muchTo ask of you? ♪
416
00:23:42,957 --> 00:23:47,929
♪ Is that too damn muchTo ask of you? ♪
417
00:23:51,299 --> 00:23:56,203
♪ Is that too muchTo ask of you? ♪
418
00:23:59,907 --> 00:24:01,742
About the whole
28-year-old virgin thing.
419
00:24:01,876 --> 00:24:04,045
It's cool. I mean...
420
00:24:04,979 --> 00:24:07,081
It's driving me insane.
421
00:24:07,214 --> 00:24:08,916
It's literally on my mind
constantly.
422
00:24:09,050 --> 00:24:11,852
-Yeah, that's all guys.
-All guys want to get laid.
423
00:24:11,986 --> 00:24:14,422
I want to lose my virginity
like a fucking teenager.
424
00:24:14,555 --> 00:24:15,957
It's embarrassing.
425
00:24:16,557 --> 00:24:18,659
It's not even that
big of a deal, Dyl.
426
00:24:19,193 --> 00:24:21,028
Everyone says that, but I think
they take it for granted.
427
00:24:21,162 --> 00:24:22,830
Like, how obsessed they were
about losing their virginity
428
00:24:22,964 --> 00:24:24,598
when they were in high school.
429
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:28,502
Have you ever thought
about getting a prostitute?
430
00:24:28,636 --> 00:24:30,738
Thought about it. A lot.
431
00:24:31,672 --> 00:24:33,174
-And?
-I'm afraid
432
00:24:33,307 --> 00:24:35,643
it would make me depressed
if I lost it that way.
433
00:24:35,843 --> 00:24:39,313
-It's not precious, Dyl.
-Oh, I know, it's a burden.
434
00:24:39,447 --> 00:24:41,048
I actually--
435
00:24:41,515 --> 00:24:43,184
Here, sit down for this one.
436
00:24:43,317 --> 00:24:44,852
Oh, what?
437
00:24:45,987 --> 00:24:47,121
I, uh--
438
00:24:47,621 --> 00:24:50,858
I actually did go to a special
kind of establishment once.
439
00:24:51,625 --> 00:24:52,994
Oh.
440
00:24:53,127 --> 00:24:55,696
A story with a happy ending,
so to speak.
441
00:24:55,830 --> 00:24:59,734
Oh! The old rub and tug.
Do tell.
442
00:24:59,867 --> 00:25:02,970
Okay. So, my buddy told me
about this place.
443
00:25:03,104 --> 00:25:04,805
There's this joint,
this rundown office building.
444
00:25:04,939 --> 00:25:06,607
So obviously,
I made an appointment
445
00:25:06,741 --> 00:25:08,209
as soon as I got home.
446
00:25:08,342 --> 00:25:10,077
So I get there.
447
00:25:10,211 --> 00:25:11,879
And this super cute
Vietnamese girl,
448
00:25:12,013 --> 00:25:15,116
she escorts me in
and tells me to get ready and...
449
00:25:16,183 --> 00:25:17,918
Oh...
450
00:25:18,052 --> 00:25:20,187
-Well?
-It was great.
451
00:25:20,321 --> 00:25:21,589
-But--
-But?
452
00:25:22,223 --> 00:25:25,926
I went back
a week later, all right?
453
00:25:26,060 --> 00:25:28,229
Same place, different girl,
still Vietnamese,
454
00:25:28,362 --> 00:25:30,197
still cute, but not happy.
455
00:25:30,398 --> 00:25:33,534
In fact, she was fucking
miserable, you know?
456
00:25:33,667 --> 00:25:35,202
She left the door open
a crack
457
00:25:35,336 --> 00:25:37,838
while I was getting undressed
and I could see her
458
00:25:37,972 --> 00:25:40,808
sucking down a cigarette
with her hand trembling,
459
00:25:41,342 --> 00:25:43,244
you know, and she came back in,
460
00:25:43,377 --> 00:25:45,880
the energy was night and day
different from the first girl,
461
00:25:46,013 --> 00:25:47,848
The first girl was talking
the whole time.
462
00:25:47,982 --> 00:25:49,750
What the fuck
was she even saying?
463
00:25:49,884 --> 00:25:51,719
"You're so big.
You're so hard."
464
00:25:51,852 --> 00:25:53,187
Okay. None of that
from this one?
465
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,090
Nothing. In fact,
not only was she silent,
466
00:25:56,223 --> 00:25:58,426
but she looked off
to the side of me
467
00:25:58,559 --> 00:26:00,227
while she jerked me off.
468
00:26:00,361 --> 00:26:02,563
So I'm obviously in my head
at this point, like, you know,
469
00:26:02,696 --> 00:26:04,632
thinking that I did
something wrong,
470
00:26:04,765 --> 00:26:06,133
you know, it's something
with me, you know?
471
00:26:06,267 --> 00:26:09,370
But then on my drive home,
it hit me, like,
472
00:26:09,904 --> 00:26:12,006
these girls were
probably sex slaves.
473
00:26:12,139 --> 00:26:13,741
I mean, I was sure of it--
I didn't know,
474
00:26:13,874 --> 00:26:15,342
but I was sure of it.
I felt disgusted--
475
00:26:15,476 --> 00:26:16,577
Did you report them?
476
00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:18,679
I stopped at a payphone.
477
00:26:18,813 --> 00:26:21,582
Where the fuck is there
still a payphone, dude?
478
00:26:21,715 --> 00:26:23,684
7-Eleven on La Cienega.
479
00:26:23,818 --> 00:26:25,219
At least it was there then.
480
00:26:25,352 --> 00:26:26,854
I even used the made-up voice
and everything.
481
00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:32,626
You following me?
482
00:26:33,294 --> 00:26:35,229
I actually had a friend who
worked in a parlor
483
00:26:35,362 --> 00:26:36,730
of ill repute.
484
00:26:38,499 --> 00:26:39,900
Actually, no fuck ill repute.
485
00:26:40,034 --> 00:26:41,735
I hold what she does
in very high regard.
486
00:26:41,869 --> 00:26:44,238
She is a dakini.
487
00:26:45,406 --> 00:26:47,408
Tantric massage?
488
00:26:47,808 --> 00:26:49,310
-Sting?
-Yeah.
489
00:26:49,443 --> 00:26:51,879
So my roommate, Sting,
from college was a dakini.
490
00:26:52,813 --> 00:26:54,482
And anyway, I had all
these questions for her,
491
00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:57,785
so finally she told me to just
come in and see for myself.
492
00:26:57,918 --> 00:26:59,554
I mean, not with her,
with another girl.
493
00:26:59,687 --> 00:27:00,921
Dude, this is just
what you need.
494
00:27:01,055 --> 00:27:02,957
-Yeah?
-Yeah, it's wild.
495
00:27:03,090 --> 00:27:04,792
There's this
interesting dichotomy
496
00:27:04,925 --> 00:27:06,727
at play because on one hand,
497
00:27:06,861 --> 00:27:09,096
it's extremely sexy and sensual.
498
00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:11,732
And then on this whole
other level, it's this
499
00:27:12,066 --> 00:27:14,802
deep, deep spiritual awakening.
500
00:27:14,935 --> 00:27:16,470
I'm not overstating anything
when I say
501
00:27:16,605 --> 00:27:19,440
that I walked out of that room
a different person.
502
00:27:19,574 --> 00:27:21,242
How? I mean you had me at sexy,
503
00:27:21,375 --> 00:27:22,877
sensual, spiritual awakening.
504
00:27:23,010 --> 00:27:25,079
Okay, so you get there.
505
00:27:25,614 --> 00:27:26,881
And she greets you at the door,
506
00:27:27,014 --> 00:27:28,782
and it's like
she's an old friend.
507
00:27:30,552 --> 00:27:32,686
And she just stares at you
508
00:27:32,987 --> 00:27:35,222
and embraces you, not sexually,
509
00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:37,825
but just human touch.
510
00:27:39,126 --> 00:27:40,794
I mean, that's the beauty
of the whole thing, really.
511
00:27:40,928 --> 00:27:42,296
It's all about human touch.
512
00:27:42,429 --> 00:27:43,864
Anyway, she--
513
00:27:43,998 --> 00:27:46,100
she brought me in
and she sat me on the sofa
514
00:27:46,267 --> 00:27:47,668
and she just kind of held me.
515
00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,970
Again, a very nurturing way,
516
00:27:50,104 --> 00:27:52,706
you know, asking me
what my loves are,
517
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,075
how my day was, what I did.
518
00:27:55,577 --> 00:27:57,211
And then she told me
to get in the shower,
519
00:27:57,344 --> 00:27:59,914
which is like a spa setup,
so fucking nice.
520
00:28:00,047 --> 00:28:01,682
Anyway, I got in the shower,
I had the shower
521
00:28:01,815 --> 00:28:05,219
and I come out in a bathrobe,
and she's standing there,
522
00:28:05,853 --> 00:28:07,388
naked, stunning.
523
00:28:08,422 --> 00:28:10,191
And she tells me
524
00:28:10,324 --> 00:28:12,760
to go sit on the massage table
cross-legged.
525
00:28:13,662 --> 00:28:16,730
And then she comes
and she sits across from me...
526
00:28:18,399 --> 00:28:19,833
and she just looks at me
527
00:28:19,967 --> 00:28:23,037
with the most serene smile.
528
00:28:24,838 --> 00:28:27,775
And she tells me to match
my breathing to hers, you know?
529
00:28:34,381 --> 00:28:38,485
She gets her hand
and she places it on my heart.
530
00:28:39,253 --> 00:28:42,189
And then she gets mine
and she places it on hers.
531
00:28:43,457 --> 00:28:46,860
And we were just sitting there,
just staring at each other.
532
00:28:50,464 --> 00:28:51,832
And I can't guess
533
00:28:51,966 --> 00:28:54,068
how long we were
sitting there for because...
534
00:28:56,070 --> 00:28:58,839
it just felt like
the most blissful eternity.
535
00:28:59,574 --> 00:29:02,209
Just staring at each other,
536
00:29:02,343 --> 00:29:03,744
our eyes...
537
00:29:04,478 --> 00:29:07,414
penetrating into
the depths of the other,
538
00:29:08,482 --> 00:29:10,217
of the universe.
539
00:29:12,721 --> 00:29:16,156
All our breath felt like
the tide crashing over us.
540
00:29:18,693 --> 00:29:20,494
Wow.
541
00:29:21,829 --> 00:29:23,831
Yeah.
542
00:29:29,436 --> 00:29:31,038
Tantric massage.
543
00:29:31,506 --> 00:29:34,408
Find a place.
It'll change your life.
544
00:29:40,615 --> 00:29:43,284
I don't know, Zoe.
545
00:29:47,821 --> 00:29:50,891
Do you remember me telling you
about being raped in college?
546
00:29:54,795 --> 00:29:56,263
Gosh.
547
00:29:57,565 --> 00:29:59,199
I completely forgot.
548
00:30:00,401 --> 00:30:03,003
It's fine, whatever, I mean--
I only bring it up
549
00:30:03,137 --> 00:30:05,139
because I know that
that stuff could really just
550
00:30:05,406 --> 00:30:07,274
throw your life off track,
you know?
551
00:30:07,408 --> 00:30:08,942
I mean, we're all snowflakes
in our victimhood or whatever
552
00:30:09,076 --> 00:30:11,211
but it can really
just screw you up, so--
553
00:30:11,345 --> 00:30:13,548
You never told me
if you knew the guy.
554
00:30:13,682 --> 00:30:15,449
Guys, plural. Yeah, I know them.
555
00:30:15,583 --> 00:30:18,118
There were two of them?
Jesus Christ.
556
00:30:18,252 --> 00:30:20,555
Yeah, I mean,
doesn't change anything.
557
00:30:21,021 --> 00:30:23,324
The thing that makes me
558
00:30:23,625 --> 00:30:25,794
laugh in a sadistic kind of way
559
00:30:26,193 --> 00:30:28,362
is that I actually
liked them both.
560
00:30:29,063 --> 00:30:30,732
You were friends?
561
00:30:30,864 --> 00:30:33,901
No, not as friends. I mean,
I only just met them, but, uh,
562
00:30:34,034 --> 00:30:35,402
they were cute.
563
00:30:37,572 --> 00:30:39,306
Probably would've
fucked either of them
564
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,008
if they hadn't decided
to rape me first, you know?
565
00:30:46,781 --> 00:30:48,415
God, Zoe. I--
566
00:30:48,916 --> 00:30:50,250
Ah, what are you gonna do?
567
00:30:56,725 --> 00:30:57,925
What?
568
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,563
I forgot a buddy of mine's show.
It's going on tonight.
569
00:31:02,262 --> 00:31:03,698
What kind of show?
570
00:31:03,997 --> 00:31:06,333
He's this musician.
His name's Naiqui.
571
00:31:06,467 --> 00:31:10,371
Like, this whole funk,
soul, whatever.
572
00:31:10,505 --> 00:31:11,806
Is he good?
573
00:31:11,939 --> 00:31:13,407
Yeah, he's incredible. It's just
574
00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:15,677
there's, like, a crapload
of people there and it--
575
00:31:16,276 --> 00:31:18,045
We're good.
We don't have to go.
576
00:31:18,178 --> 00:31:20,749
You're here. It gives me
a perfect excuse. We're good.
577
00:31:20,881 --> 00:31:21,915
Let's go.
578
00:31:22,049 --> 00:31:23,083
No, I'm saying we don't have to.
579
00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:24,652
No, but I'm saying I wanna.
580
00:31:24,786 --> 00:31:26,053
-No, but--
-Naiqui?
581
00:31:26,186 --> 00:31:28,523
Oh! Oh, my God. Naiqui?
I love Naiqui.
582
00:31:28,656 --> 00:31:30,324
He's my favorite.
583
00:31:30,792 --> 00:31:32,493
Oh, Naiqui!
584
00:31:32,627 --> 00:31:36,798
Naiqui is playing?
In this town tonight?
585
00:31:37,331 --> 00:31:39,199
I forgot I have tickets!
586
00:31:40,668 --> 00:31:42,570
Come on.
587
00:31:44,539 --> 00:31:47,642
Come on, Dyl.
I'm in town for one night.
588
00:31:49,644 --> 00:31:51,912
♪ It's okay ♪
589
00:31:52,045 --> 00:31:54,314
♪ If you're shy ♪
590
00:31:54,448 --> 00:31:59,086
♪ I will take my sweet time ♪
591
00:31:59,219 --> 00:32:00,988
♪ And use my... ♪
592
00:32:18,205 --> 00:32:23,377
♪ And I will show you ♪
593
00:32:25,914 --> 00:32:31,118
♪ ...I won't do ♪
594
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:37,324
♪ It's okay if you're shy ♪
595
00:32:37,458 --> 00:32:42,262
♪ I will take my sweet time ♪
596
00:32:42,396 --> 00:32:47,201
♪ And use my handsTo ease your mind ♪
597
00:32:47,334 --> 00:32:52,172
♪ And make you feel like ♪
598
00:32:52,306 --> 00:32:56,376
♪ A woman ♪
599
00:32:57,344 --> 00:33:02,015
♪ A woman ♪
600
00:33:02,149 --> 00:33:06,788
♪ A woman(Make you feel like) ♪
601
00:33:06,921 --> 00:33:12,259
♪ This is howA woman should feel ♪
602
00:33:12,392 --> 00:33:17,331
♪ And I will show you ♪
603
00:33:17,464 --> 00:33:23,136
♪ Let you down, I won't do ♪
604
00:33:26,373 --> 00:33:31,078
♪ It's okay if you're shy ♪
605
00:33:31,211 --> 00:33:36,049
♪ I will take my sweet time ♪
606
00:33:36,183 --> 00:33:41,355
♪ And use my handsTo ease your mind ♪
607
00:33:41,488 --> 00:33:47,127
♪ And make you feel ♪
608
00:33:47,261 --> 00:33:51,198
♪ Li-i-i-i-i-i-ike(It's okay if you're shy) ♪
609
00:33:51,331 --> 00:33:52,901
I am gonna be
your wing woman tonight.
610
00:33:53,033 --> 00:33:55,803
♪ It's okay baby ♪
611
00:33:55,937 --> 00:33:57,271
Her.
612
00:33:57,404 --> 00:33:58,773
♪ Imma take my time ♪
613
00:33:58,907 --> 00:34:01,475
Her? Her? Her?
614
00:34:01,609 --> 00:34:03,645
Are you just pointing
at every random girl you see?
615
00:34:03,778 --> 00:34:05,312
Yes.
616
00:34:05,445 --> 00:34:09,651
♪ And make you feel likeFeel, like ♪
617
00:34:11,451 --> 00:34:16,658
♪ It's okay, babyIf you're shy ♪
618
00:34:16,791 --> 00:34:18,893
♪ I will take mySweet time ♪
619
00:34:19,027 --> 00:34:23,397
♪ Use my handsTo ease your mind ♪
620
00:34:23,531 --> 00:34:28,803
♪ And make you feel like ♪
621
00:34:28,937 --> 00:34:34,008
♪ Feel like a woman ♪
622
00:34:45,118 --> 00:34:48,856
♪ I was alwaysThe type of person to run ♪
623
00:34:49,824 --> 00:34:51,859
We're dancing.
624
00:34:51,993 --> 00:34:53,861
No fucking way.
625
00:34:53,995 --> 00:34:58,967
♪ Couldn't give much of my timeI guess I had no faith ♪
626
00:34:59,099 --> 00:35:00,467
-Dylan.
♪ I had no faith ♪
627
00:35:00,602 --> 00:35:02,369
Dyl.
628
00:35:02,503 --> 00:35:06,340
♪ So used to my way of thingsBut you can play that game ♪
629
00:35:06,473 --> 00:35:08,910
♪ You can play too, girl ♪
630
00:35:09,043 --> 00:35:10,845
♪ But I can't leave ♪
631
00:35:10,979 --> 00:35:14,348
♪ If something about youMakes me want to stay ♪
632
00:35:15,817 --> 00:35:17,585
♪ Hey! ♪
633
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,955
♪ Here we are nowAnd I really like you ♪
634
00:35:21,089 --> 00:35:24,491
♪ I am feeling your spiritWhen I am around you ♪
635
00:35:24,626 --> 00:35:26,460
♪ They way you dress it ♪
636
00:35:26,594 --> 00:35:28,395
♪ Keep those eyes on you, girl ♪
637
00:35:28,529 --> 00:35:30,397
♪ You walk your walk ♪
638
00:35:30,531 --> 00:35:32,934
♪ You knowEverybody wants your pearls ♪
639
00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:36,904
♪ They wanna try itIsn't this so exciting? ♪
640
00:35:37,038 --> 00:35:38,606
♪ So I didn't bother ♪
641
00:35:38,740 --> 00:35:41,709
♪ I wanna wear yourPearls! ♪
642
00:35:44,177 --> 00:35:48,549
♪ One thingThat I put it... ♪
643
00:35:58,726 --> 00:36:01,562
♪ I mean I don't mindWhat you would say ♪
644
00:36:03,665 --> 00:36:05,066
♪ You got 'em... ♪
645
00:36:07,401 --> 00:36:09,570
♪ You know that I am goodTo make you trip ♪
646
00:36:09,704 --> 00:36:11,506
♪ Girl, I go aheadAnd I die ♪
647
00:36:11,639 --> 00:36:13,440
♪ I don't think anyone's seen ♪
648
00:36:13,574 --> 00:36:15,543
♪ Pearls as expensiveAs yours ♪
649
00:36:15,677 --> 00:36:17,444
♪ If there's nobodyThen tell me... ♪
650
00:36:17,578 --> 00:36:19,379
Never took any classes.
651
00:36:21,248 --> 00:36:22,482
It's crazy, right?
652
00:36:22,617 --> 00:36:24,819
♪ And I really like you ♪
653
00:36:24,952 --> 00:36:28,122
♪ I am feeling your spiritWhen I am around you ♪
654
00:36:28,288 --> 00:36:29,957
Who's cool?
655
00:36:30,390 --> 00:36:31,526
Dylan's cool.
656
00:36:31,659 --> 00:36:33,027
♪ ...on you, girl ♪
657
00:36:33,161 --> 00:36:34,829
♪ You walk your walk ♪
658
00:36:34,962 --> 00:36:36,296
♪ You knowEverybody wants your... ♪
659
00:36:36,430 --> 00:36:38,833
♪ Pearls ♪
660
00:36:38,966 --> 00:36:40,635
♪ So whenYou want... ♪
661
00:36:43,270 --> 00:36:44,839
♪ Hey! ♪
662
00:36:44,972 --> 00:36:48,776
♪ I just wanna wearYour pearls ♪
663
00:36:48,910 --> 00:36:51,746
♪ I don't think you knowhow beautiful it is, baby ♪
664
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,414
♪ Pearls! ♪
665
00:36:54,549 --> 00:36:56,617
♪ Pearls! ♪
666
00:36:56,751 --> 00:36:58,351
♪ Pearls! ♪
667
00:36:58,485 --> 00:37:00,588
♪ Pearls! ♪
668
00:37:00,722 --> 00:37:02,890
♪ Pearls! ♪
669
00:37:03,024 --> 00:37:04,424
♪ Pearls! ♪
670
00:37:04,559 --> 00:37:05,626
♪ Pearls! ♪
671
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,161
♪ Pearls! ♪
672
00:37:07,294 --> 00:37:08,930
♪ I say diamonds ♪
673
00:37:09,063 --> 00:37:11,364
♪ Diamonds areA girl's best friend ♪
674
00:37:11,498 --> 00:37:13,000
♪ Pearls! ♪
675
00:37:13,134 --> 00:37:14,669
♪ Oh, man ♪
676
00:37:14,802 --> 00:37:16,604
♪ I say diamonds ♪
677
00:37:16,738 --> 00:37:19,272
♪ Diamonds areA girl's best friend ♪
678
00:37:19,406 --> 00:37:23,410
♪ And pearls, oh, man! ♪
679
00:37:23,544 --> 00:37:25,646
♪ Yeah! ♪
680
00:37:25,780 --> 00:37:28,381
♪ I wanna wear yourPearls! ♪
681
00:37:28,516 --> 00:37:30,350
Life is bueno.
682
00:37:30,484 --> 00:37:31,719
Life is good.
683
00:37:31,853 --> 00:37:33,221
- Life is good.
- Bueno.
684
00:37:33,353 --> 00:37:34,488
- Eye contact.
- Yes.
685
00:37:36,557 --> 00:37:39,794
Mm. So, how do y'all
know each other?
686
00:37:39,961 --> 00:37:42,130
Oh, God. We've known
each other since we were kids
687
00:37:42,262 --> 00:37:43,296
and all that jazz.
688
00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:45,933
Yep. Pretty much best or,
689
00:37:46,067 --> 00:37:49,070
only friends all throughout
high school.
690
00:37:49,203 --> 00:37:50,705
Uh...
691
00:37:50,838 --> 00:37:52,907
Actually, it was, uh, matching
Halloween costumes
692
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,542
and all that jazz.
693
00:37:55,408 --> 00:37:57,612
One year we went as, um,
694
00:37:57,745 --> 00:37:59,680
gender-swapped
Justin and Britney.
695
00:37:59,814 --> 00:38:01,649
I know my boy looked good
696
00:38:01,783 --> 00:38:03,851
in pigtails and
a little schoolgirl skirt.
697
00:38:03,985 --> 00:38:05,953
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
698
00:38:06,087 --> 00:38:07,387
Red leather Britney.
699
00:38:07,989 --> 00:38:09,624
Get the fuck outta here.
700
00:38:09,757 --> 00:38:11,893
- Wait, wait, I have--
- Red leather?
701
00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:13,393
Wait, I have the photo.
702
00:38:13,528 --> 00:38:14,862
-I have the photo.
-You're just hellbent
703
00:38:14,996 --> 00:38:15,997
on embarrassing me
tonight, aren't you?
704
00:38:16,130 --> 00:38:17,330
Yeah, why not?
705
00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:18,431
Not a department
you need help in.
706
00:38:18,566 --> 00:38:19,901
Can't find it.
707
00:38:20,635 --> 00:38:22,703
Come on, Dyl.
708
00:38:22,837 --> 00:38:24,471
See, this is why
I didn't want to do it.
709
00:38:24,605 --> 00:38:25,940
You were fine.
710
00:38:26,073 --> 00:38:27,942
- Hey.
- My brother.
711
00:38:28,109 --> 00:38:29,577
Man, good job in that, bro.
712
00:38:29,710 --> 00:38:31,212
-Oh, thank you.
-I'm gonna get out of here.
713
00:38:31,344 --> 00:38:32,880
-Oh, you outta here?
-Yeah, man, gotta get going.
714
00:38:33,014 --> 00:38:34,582
Oh, you know what?
Let's all take a picture
715
00:38:34,715 --> 00:38:36,250
for the gram real quick.
All four of us. Come on.
716
00:38:36,551 --> 00:38:38,085
-I look gross. I look gross.
-Nah.
717
00:38:38,219 --> 00:38:40,054
What, you can't be seen
with two brothers in public?
718
00:38:40,188 --> 00:38:41,989
Oh, I'm brown too.
719
00:38:42,190 --> 00:38:44,759
Oh... so we are on
different shades now.
720
00:38:44,892 --> 00:38:46,661
I know how you
light-skinned folks see us.
721
00:38:46,794 --> 00:38:48,196
- Okay, for the record--
- No!
722
00:38:48,328 --> 00:38:49,764
You don't get to talk.
723
00:38:49,897 --> 00:38:51,431
Listen, these white people
on that new drug.
724
00:38:51,566 --> 00:38:53,267
-Imma get out of here, bro.
-My man.
725
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:54,367
-Good show, man.
-Thank you, brother.
726
00:38:54,501 --> 00:38:55,870
Yes sir.
727
00:38:56,571 --> 00:38:58,105
This is so good, man.
728
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,575
It's so good you guys
kept in contact all those years.
729
00:39:15,523 --> 00:39:16,858
That's it?
730
00:39:25,566 --> 00:39:26,934
Thank you, bye.
731
00:39:36,544 --> 00:39:38,880
Oh, hey.
732
00:41:02,930 --> 00:41:05,066
-Tsundoku.
-Hmm.
733
00:41:21,382 --> 00:41:23,483
Do you want something to drink?
734
00:41:24,418 --> 00:41:26,721
Uh, no.
735
00:41:27,621 --> 00:41:28,956
I actually have to get up early,
736
00:41:29,090 --> 00:41:30,591
so I'm just going
to order an Uber.
737
00:41:38,699 --> 00:41:40,201
Look--
738
00:41:43,237 --> 00:41:44,638
I want to apologize.
739
00:41:45,206 --> 00:41:49,176
I know I've been MIA for
a while now, and I feel bad.
740
00:41:51,112 --> 00:41:52,613
That's okay.
741
00:41:56,584 --> 00:41:58,185
That's okay?
742
00:41:59,954 --> 00:42:01,222
What?
743
00:42:01,956 --> 00:42:03,190
Nothing.
744
00:42:05,860 --> 00:42:07,294
I mean--
745
00:42:08,529 --> 00:42:10,164
It's just--
746
00:42:12,033 --> 00:42:14,502
I-- I don't mean
to be an asshole, but
747
00:42:14,802 --> 00:42:17,238
does the phone
not work both ways?
748
00:42:17,805 --> 00:42:19,206
I don't get it.
Did you just say sorry
749
00:42:19,340 --> 00:42:21,075
so that you would
hear me say sorry?
750
00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:23,210
No, that's not why I said sorry.
751
00:42:23,344 --> 00:42:24,345
So then it's all on me?
752
00:42:24,478 --> 00:42:25,880
No, it's not--
753
00:42:26,213 --> 00:42:27,415
It's just--
754
00:42:27,548 --> 00:42:29,050
I tried.
755
00:42:29,183 --> 00:42:31,652
Okay? I call. You never
called back or even texted.
756
00:42:31,786 --> 00:42:33,154
Okay, so, like, did you try
757
00:42:33,287 --> 00:42:34,523
or were you MIA, Dyl?
Which one was it?
758
00:42:34,655 --> 00:42:36,323
Or were you saying you were MIA
759
00:42:36,457 --> 00:42:38,259
because you were commenting
on the fact that I was MIA,
760
00:42:38,392 --> 00:42:40,294
and you're doing your Dylan
passive-aggressive bullshit?
761
00:42:45,933 --> 00:42:48,736
Are you shutting off now?
We're not having this talk?
762
00:42:50,838 --> 00:42:52,973
Okay, cool. Great, cool.
Then I am the dick. Cool.
763
00:42:53,107 --> 00:42:54,809
Awesome. Great.
I just want to let you know
764
00:42:54,942 --> 00:42:56,343
that the only reason
we're together
765
00:42:56,477 --> 00:42:57,645
is because I reached out.
766
00:42:57,778 --> 00:42:59,747
Oh... Thank you.
767
00:43:00,214 --> 00:43:02,517
You're welcome.
768
00:43:02,650 --> 00:43:03,818
This is ridiculous.
769
00:43:03,951 --> 00:43:05,286
-No, shit.
-Well, I'm sorry.
770
00:43:05,419 --> 00:43:06,921
Why are we fighting right now?
771
00:43:07,054 --> 00:43:08,523
Why are we fighting,
were we having a good time?
772
00:43:08,689 --> 00:43:09,990
Yeah, we were,
but that's the problem.
773
00:43:10,124 --> 00:43:11,492
You know, if we
enjoy each other so much,
774
00:43:11,625 --> 00:43:13,227
why did we stop talking?
775
00:43:15,930 --> 00:43:17,965
-I-- I don't know.
-You wanna know my theory?
776
00:43:19,568 --> 00:43:21,068
Sure.
777
00:43:21,335 --> 00:43:23,270
Hmm.
778
00:43:25,005 --> 00:43:26,575
I think you got tired of me.
779
00:43:26,707 --> 00:43:28,042
I think you started
to look at me
780
00:43:28,175 --> 00:43:29,844
as sort of a burden
to hang out with,
781
00:43:29,977 --> 00:43:31,679
because I always went to you
with my problems.
782
00:43:31,812 --> 00:43:33,180
And so when I picked up on that,
783
00:43:33,314 --> 00:43:34,915
I stopped going to you
with my problems.
784
00:43:35,049 --> 00:43:36,650
And when that happened,
785
00:43:36,784 --> 00:43:37,852
I don't think you knew
what to do anymore,
786
00:43:37,985 --> 00:43:39,153
because I think you liked it.
787
00:43:39,286 --> 00:43:40,821
-You think I liked it?
-Yep.
788
00:43:40,955 --> 00:43:42,957
Unbelievable. Oh, my God.
789
00:43:43,090 --> 00:43:44,526
- Fuck you.
- Wow!
790
00:43:44,658 --> 00:43:46,127
Fuck you. You know what?
791
00:43:46,260 --> 00:43:47,962
You want to have a
whole pity party about this
792
00:43:48,095 --> 00:43:49,930
because you're such a downer
when the reality is,
793
00:43:50,064 --> 00:43:51,600
that's not even a fucking issue.
794
00:43:51,732 --> 00:43:53,400
Then for Christ's sake,
Zoey, what is it?
795
00:43:53,535 --> 00:43:55,035
It's the fact that--
796
00:43:55,169 --> 00:43:56,470
that you won't indulge
in anyone else's problems
797
00:43:56,605 --> 00:43:58,005
but your own.
798
00:44:04,613 --> 00:44:06,013
Oh. Yeah, that's good.
799
00:44:06,147 --> 00:44:07,715
Typical Zoey.
Grab your stuff. Walk away.
800
00:44:07,848 --> 00:44:09,483
I'll talk to you
in another couple of years.
801
00:44:09,618 --> 00:44:11,118
Oh, yeah? Cool. I'll give you
your birthday text, dude.
802
00:44:11,252 --> 00:44:12,820
Don't bother using
exclamation points
803
00:44:12,953 --> 00:44:14,188
because we both know
it's not the punctuation
804
00:44:14,321 --> 00:44:15,723
that makes you a bitch.
805
00:44:32,541 --> 00:44:35,209
Hey, do you
remember me telling you being--
806
00:44:35,776 --> 00:44:36,844
Fuck.
807
00:45:59,893 --> 00:46:01,696
I know you care, Dylan.
808
00:46:02,697 --> 00:46:05,399
You're the kindest person
I've ever met, but...
809
00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:08,369
Fuck, if you aren't
a selfish asshole sometimes.
810
00:46:12,607 --> 00:46:14,241
You think I got tired of you?
811
00:46:16,745 --> 00:46:18,212
I love you.
812
00:46:18,345 --> 00:46:21,048
You're my favorite
fucking person in the world.
813
00:46:24,318 --> 00:46:25,486
I miss you.
814
00:46:33,728 --> 00:46:34,995
I'm sorry.
815
00:46:35,129 --> 00:46:36,665
-You don't have to do that.
-Zoey.
816
00:46:41,603 --> 00:46:43,170
I'm sorry.
817
00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:48,442
I guess I just got scared.
818
00:46:50,244 --> 00:46:52,946
I didn't want to keep spending
the rest of the night
819
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:56,584
pretending everything's good
and we're happy when...
820
00:46:57,951 --> 00:46:59,420
I don't know if come tomorrow,
821
00:46:59,554 --> 00:47:02,856
everything's just going
to go back to how it was.
822
00:47:06,860 --> 00:47:08,429
I get it.
823
00:47:13,467 --> 00:47:15,869
You're not a bitch.
824
00:47:18,138 --> 00:47:20,441
But you do use too many periods.
825
00:47:24,244 --> 00:47:25,747
You are passive-aggressive...
826
00:47:25,879 --> 00:47:28,415
...but like everyone's
passive-aggressive, so...
827
00:47:45,866 --> 00:47:48,202
What would you say...
828
00:47:48,902 --> 00:47:50,538
to a little...
829
00:47:51,171 --> 00:47:52,574
peace joint?
830
00:48:15,764 --> 00:48:17,766
I'mma bash you over the head
with that fucking thing.
831
00:48:17,898 --> 00:48:19,534
See, this is why
you're still single.
832
00:48:21,536 --> 00:48:24,405
Yes. Yes.
833
00:48:24,539 --> 00:48:26,508
Oh, my God. It's so cold.
834
00:48:29,176 --> 00:48:30,244
-Well?
-I didn't even know
835
00:48:30,377 --> 00:48:31,979
you still played that thing.
836
00:48:32,246 --> 00:48:34,849
Play is a strong word,
but yeah, I fuck around.
837
00:48:35,416 --> 00:48:38,385
Does fucking around mean
you have a song?
838
00:48:39,521 --> 00:48:41,556
Oh.
You do have a song.
839
00:48:41,689 --> 00:48:44,091
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Oh, my God. I knew it.
840
00:48:44,224 --> 00:48:45,325
It's stupid.
Doesn't even make sense.
841
00:48:45,459 --> 00:48:46,994
Fuck that. I want to hear it.
842
00:48:47,127 --> 00:48:49,096
Yeah, the lyrics
are, like, weird.
843
00:48:49,229 --> 00:48:51,599
Oh, my God. Zoey? I love Zoey.
844
00:48:51,733 --> 00:48:53,701
She's the best.
845
00:48:56,036 --> 00:48:57,672
Touché?
846
00:49:01,942 --> 00:49:02,943
-Just play it.
-I can't. Okay.
847
00:49:03,076 --> 00:49:04,945
I'm mentally preparing.
848
00:49:13,454 --> 00:49:17,892
♪ I can't see myselfToo clearly ♪
849
00:49:18,025 --> 00:49:22,029
♪ It's justFragmented bits of me ♪
850
00:49:23,430 --> 00:49:28,570
♪ I lookLike a fucking Picasso ♪
851
00:49:28,703 --> 00:49:32,574
♪ Why is my left eyeWhere my cheek should be? ♪
852
00:49:34,408 --> 00:49:36,811
♪ And my... ♪
853
00:49:36,945 --> 00:49:40,682
♪ Brain is likeA Jackson Pollock ♪
854
00:49:40,815 --> 00:49:44,184
♪ Just scattered chaosIn my mind ♪
855
00:49:44,318 --> 00:49:46,053
♪ It's aFucking sort of violence ♪
856
00:49:46,186 --> 00:49:48,021
♪ Sort of pretty ♪
857
00:49:48,155 --> 00:49:50,592
♪ But it's all right ♪
858
00:49:52,694 --> 00:49:57,998
♪ Because then other daysIt's like Van Gogh's ♪
859
00:49:58,131 --> 00:50:00,835
♪ Starry nightsAnd the paint strokes ♪
860
00:50:00,969 --> 00:50:03,470
♪ Soothe my mind ♪
861
00:50:03,605 --> 00:50:07,642
♪ Whirling cloudsAnd shining stars so bright ♪
862
00:50:09,142 --> 00:50:12,112
♪ And it's all right ♪
863
00:50:15,048 --> 00:50:18,953
♪ Until I cut off my earAnd start bleeding ♪
864
00:50:19,086 --> 00:50:22,189
♪ Profusely all overthe living room floor ♪
865
00:50:22,322 --> 00:50:24,091
♪ Oh, my God, I'm bleeding ♪
866
00:50:24,224 --> 00:50:26,426
♪ Oh, my GodI'm getting kind of dizzy ♪
867
00:50:26,561 --> 00:50:28,028
♪ I think I'm gonna throw...I think I want to... ♪
868
00:50:28,161 --> 00:50:30,665
♪ But it's all right ♪
869
00:50:32,299 --> 00:50:34,468
♪ Because I ♪
870
00:50:36,203 --> 00:50:41,308
♪ Have another day ♪
871
00:50:50,618 --> 00:50:51,786
I love it.
872
00:50:53,453 --> 00:50:54,989
I dunno what
the second part is though.
873
00:50:55,122 --> 00:50:56,390
Zoey.
874
00:50:57,926 --> 00:50:59,259
I love it.
875
00:51:02,329 --> 00:51:03,665
Grab a handful.
876
00:51:04,599 --> 00:51:05,733
Are you--
877
00:51:05,867 --> 00:51:07,501
You know it.
878
00:51:17,045 --> 00:51:18,378
They taste better at the movie.
879
00:51:18,513 --> 00:51:20,582
Sh. This is my favorite scene.
880
00:51:23,518 --> 00:51:25,820
Mm. Mm?
881
00:51:25,987 --> 00:51:28,288
Mm. Mmm.
882
00:51:33,226 --> 00:51:35,429
I can't believe
this is where you live.
883
00:51:36,931 --> 00:51:38,600
And write and masturbate.
884
00:51:38,967 --> 00:51:40,233
That's it?
885
00:51:40,367 --> 00:51:43,337
- I sleep sometimes too.
- Huh.
886
00:51:46,273 --> 00:51:47,542
Hey, do you ever wonder
why some porn categories
887
00:51:47,675 --> 00:51:49,209
are more popular than others?
888
00:51:49,644 --> 00:51:51,713
There's a segue.
889
00:51:53,447 --> 00:51:54,816
Oh, you mean, like--
890
00:51:54,949 --> 00:51:56,618
You mean, like, anal?
891
00:51:56,751 --> 00:51:58,720
Yeah, but like, that's not
even the top three,
892
00:51:58,853 --> 00:51:59,821
I don't think.
893
00:52:02,155 --> 00:52:04,358
What is it about anal
that does it for people anyway?
894
00:52:04,491 --> 00:52:07,127
And this is asking
as a completely ignorant virgin.
895
00:52:08,029 --> 00:52:09,097
I mean--
896
00:52:09,631 --> 00:52:11,164
-Have you done it?
-Yeah, I've done it.
897
00:52:11,298 --> 00:52:14,368
- Why?
- No.
898
00:52:14,501 --> 00:52:15,937
I don't know. It feels good.
899
00:52:16,070 --> 00:52:17,437
To get your ass torn open?
900
00:52:17,572 --> 00:52:19,139
Doesn't it hurt?
901
00:52:19,272 --> 00:52:21,208
Okay. First of all,
this isn't Alien.
902
00:52:23,077 --> 00:52:24,545
And it's a good pain.
903
00:52:26,146 --> 00:52:27,949
Can you even cum that way?
904
00:52:28,082 --> 00:52:29,550
I mean, it's hard,
905
00:52:29,684 --> 00:52:31,085
but the point of sex
isn't necessarily to cum.
906
00:52:31,218 --> 00:52:32,687
I mean,
it's wonderful if you do,
907
00:52:32,820 --> 00:52:34,922
but that's not what it's
all about. I don't think.
908
00:52:35,489 --> 00:52:37,692
Anyways, yes,
I have cum from anal.
909
00:52:37,825 --> 00:52:40,561
I don't do it all the time.
Maybe once in a while, but...
910
00:52:40,928 --> 00:52:42,262
it's such a hassle though.
911
00:52:42,396 --> 00:52:43,965
Ugh. I mean if you
want to do it right,
912
00:52:44,098 --> 00:52:46,701
and not get mess anywhere.
913
00:52:46,834 --> 00:52:47,969
Mess?
914
00:52:48,235 --> 00:52:49,570
Take a wild guess.
915
00:52:51,539 --> 00:52:53,340
Okay. Calm down, virgin.
916
00:52:53,473 --> 00:52:55,175
There are going to be
some weird shit sometimes.
917
00:52:55,308 --> 00:52:56,577
Sometimes, literally.
918
00:52:56,711 --> 00:52:58,146
No, no, no, no.
919
00:52:58,278 --> 00:52:59,479
Oh, my God.
You're going to love it.
920
00:52:59,614 --> 00:53:01,314
Okay. Okay.
921
00:53:01,448 --> 00:53:04,317
Okay. So one of
the first times I tried it, um,
922
00:53:04,986 --> 00:53:06,587
I, uh-- I didn't understand
923
00:53:06,721 --> 00:53:08,255
the importance
of the whole prep process.
924
00:53:08,388 --> 00:53:09,757
-There's a prep process?
-Of course.
925
00:53:09,891 --> 00:53:11,258
There's a prep process.
926
00:53:11,391 --> 00:53:13,127
What-- What would you even do?
927
00:53:13,260 --> 00:53:15,429
I don't know. You, like,
do shit or whatever you like.
928
00:53:15,563 --> 00:53:16,998
You go to the pharmacy,
929
00:53:17,131 --> 00:53:18,866
you get an enema,
you stick it up your butt,
930
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,301
you make sure
you have a lot of fibres,
931
00:53:21,435 --> 00:53:23,671
so you're regular,
hydrated, and whatever.
932
00:53:23,805 --> 00:53:25,673
Yeah, there's a prep process.
933
00:53:25,807 --> 00:53:29,010
Anyways, idiots like me
have to learn that the hard way.
934
00:53:29,644 --> 00:53:31,311
I did it with my boyfriend
at the time.
935
00:53:31,445 --> 00:53:32,914
Nice guy.
936
00:53:33,047 --> 00:53:34,381
Scared of even trying it,
937
00:53:34,515 --> 00:53:36,017
-but curious
-Of course.
938
00:53:36,150 --> 00:53:38,686
I mean, I was too.
I hadn't ever tried it before.
939
00:53:39,219 --> 00:53:40,621
Anyways.
940
00:53:40,755 --> 00:53:42,456
So we go to the shower
because we think that's
941
00:53:42,590 --> 00:53:44,158
the smartest thing to do
in case anything goes wrong.
942
00:53:44,291 --> 00:53:46,160
And thank God, we did,
943
00:53:46,293 --> 00:53:47,995
because we were 100% right.
944
00:53:48,129 --> 00:53:49,764
Anyways, so he puts it in
945
00:53:49,897 --> 00:53:51,966
and we start slowly
because side note,
946
00:53:52,166 --> 00:53:55,603
anal will make any guy's dick
feel at least 73% bigger.
947
00:53:56,003 --> 00:53:57,538
-Noted.
-So he's...
948
00:53:59,439 --> 00:54:00,908
fucking me in the ass.
949
00:54:02,744 --> 00:54:05,445
He's got this smile
plastered on his face.
950
00:54:05,580 --> 00:54:07,081
God bless him
951
00:54:07,215 --> 00:54:08,616
And I'm enjoying it
more than I had anticipated.
952
00:54:09,150 --> 00:54:11,185
But I'm also feeling this
weird sensation or whatever.
953
00:54:11,318 --> 00:54:14,889
And being
the nice guy that he was,
954
00:54:15,089 --> 00:54:17,759
when he noticed this,
he did the nice thing
955
00:54:17,892 --> 00:54:19,961
and...
...pulled out.
956
00:54:20,393 --> 00:54:21,829
Which is when I...
957
00:54:23,865 --> 00:54:25,499
shit everywhere.
958
00:54:25,633 --> 00:54:27,568
I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know, I know.
959
00:54:27,702 --> 00:54:29,837
And I will never forget
the shriek
960
00:54:29,971 --> 00:54:32,073
that he let out like--
961
00:54:32,206 --> 00:54:34,809
And all the while, I'm still
releasing mind you
962
00:54:34,942 --> 00:54:38,613
and I'm profusely apologizing
and I'm maneuvering my body,
963
00:54:38,746 --> 00:54:40,313
so at least
I'm missing his legs.
964
00:54:40,447 --> 00:54:41,716
No, I can't. That's--
965
00:54:41,849 --> 00:54:43,084
-That's fucking wild.
-Oh, my God.
966
00:54:43,217 --> 00:54:44,852
I mean, weren't you embarrassed?
967
00:54:44,986 --> 00:54:48,321
Of course. Are you
kidding me? I was mortified.
968
00:54:48,790 --> 00:54:51,592
I was traumatized.
I never wanted to do it again.
969
00:54:51,726 --> 00:54:53,961
-And we didn't.
-Obviously.
970
00:54:54,162 --> 00:54:56,564
You see, that's the thing.
Not obviously.
971
00:54:56,798 --> 00:54:58,766
I firmly believe that the person
you're meant to be with
972
00:54:58,900 --> 00:55:01,202
is the one that you
can literally shit on
973
00:55:01,536 --> 00:55:02,837
and they still love you.
974
00:55:04,205 --> 00:55:05,640
Which is like weird,
and fucked-up or whatever,
975
00:55:05,773 --> 00:55:09,243
but that's the comfort.
At least for me,
976
00:55:09,376 --> 00:55:11,311
that I feel
is necessary to have
977
00:55:11,579 --> 00:55:13,380
a successful relationship,
978
00:55:13,514 --> 00:55:15,049
especially when it comes to sex.
979
00:55:15,183 --> 00:55:17,350
I mean, sex is like the
messiest thing you'll ever do.
980
00:55:17,518 --> 00:55:20,588
It can smell,
people have disturbing faces,
981
00:55:20,721 --> 00:55:22,455
like you can fart,
you can queef, whatever,
982
00:55:22,590 --> 00:55:24,625
I mean, but at the end of it,
983
00:55:24,759 --> 00:55:26,194
that person still loves you
984
00:55:26,326 --> 00:55:27,762
even if you
don't make them cum.
985
00:55:28,563 --> 00:55:30,397
I mean, if you make them
cum consistently,
986
00:55:30,531 --> 00:55:32,432
they'll probably
love you forever, but...
987
00:55:32,967 --> 00:55:34,635
I think that just
comes along with
988
00:55:34,869 --> 00:55:36,336
being vulnerable and comfortable
989
00:55:36,469 --> 00:55:38,072
with that person
in that relationship.
990
00:55:38,973 --> 00:55:41,576
That's when you get
to ride that sweet spot...
991
00:55:42,743 --> 00:55:45,146
of fucking sometimes
992
00:55:45,580 --> 00:55:47,414
and making love most times.
993
00:55:50,417 --> 00:55:52,019
Here I was just hoping
for missionary.
994
00:55:52,153 --> 00:55:53,621
Oh, come on.
995
00:55:53,754 --> 00:55:55,388
Beggars can't be choosers.
996
00:55:55,523 --> 00:55:57,390
Okay. You're telling me
997
00:55:57,525 --> 00:55:58,993
that when you're
sitting at home alone
998
00:55:59,126 --> 00:56:00,661
with a bottle of lube,
watching porn,
999
00:56:00,795 --> 00:56:02,029
that you're clicking
on the search bar
1000
00:56:02,163 --> 00:56:03,564
and you're typing in "vanilla"?
1001
00:56:03,698 --> 00:56:05,365
First of all, I rarely
let my lube watch porn.
1002
00:56:05,498 --> 00:56:06,834
Yeah, whatever.
You know what I mean?
1003
00:56:06,968 --> 00:56:08,870
-What do you watch?
-Uh...
1004
00:56:09,469 --> 00:56:10,938
Oh, come on.
I just showed you mine.
1005
00:56:11,072 --> 00:56:12,506
You're not going to show me
yours? What is it?
1006
00:56:12,874 --> 00:56:14,407
-I don't know--
-Bondage.
1007
00:56:14,542 --> 00:56:16,443
- Hentai. Gay porn.
1008
00:56:16,577 --> 00:56:17,778
-I--
-What?
1009
00:56:18,079 --> 00:56:20,915
I think it's funny how,
you know, girls can talk
1010
00:56:21,048 --> 00:56:22,516
about how they watch
lesbian porn,
1011
00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:24,018
and it's not
a big deal, you know?
1012
00:56:24,151 --> 00:56:25,385
It's like, "Oh, yeah,
that makes sense.
1013
00:56:25,519 --> 00:56:26,988
You know, that's hot."
1014
00:56:27,121 --> 00:56:28,923
But when a guy talks
about watching other guys,
1015
00:56:29,056 --> 00:56:30,490
and it's like,
"Hmm. Wait a minute.
1016
00:56:30,625 --> 00:56:31,893
Are you sure you're not gay?"
1017
00:56:32,026 --> 00:56:33,694
I think that's how
some people see.
1018
00:56:33,828 --> 00:56:35,963
- But not all people.
- But...
1019
00:56:36,496 --> 00:56:37,531
-A majority.
-Okay, yeah.
1020
00:56:37,665 --> 00:56:38,933
But see that's the problem.
1021
00:56:39,066 --> 00:56:40,668
We all play this game
of hush-hush
1022
00:56:40,801 --> 00:56:42,402
and pretend when it
comes to sex and porn
1023
00:56:42,536 --> 00:56:44,906
and that just makes
everyone feel guilty
1024
00:56:45,039 --> 00:56:47,074
when they go home
and they watch it in private,
1025
00:56:47,208 --> 00:56:48,542
which is bullshit.
1026
00:56:48,676 --> 00:56:50,711
I mean-- I guarantee you--
I guarantee you
1027
00:56:50,845 --> 00:56:52,580
that if some hacker group
came out
1028
00:56:52,713 --> 00:56:54,181
and released
everyone's search history,
1029
00:56:54,315 --> 00:56:55,683
made it public information,
1030
00:56:55,816 --> 00:56:56,751
the world will be
a much happier place.
1031
00:56:56,884 --> 00:56:58,586
And I don't disagree.
1032
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:00,621
Which is why I'm telling you
I'm not judging you.
1033
00:57:00,755 --> 00:57:03,624
So feel free to personally
unload your burden.
1034
00:57:03,758 --> 00:57:05,425
It's not like
it's some big deal.
1035
00:57:05,559 --> 00:57:08,296
Okay? It's not some crazy burden
like you're making it out to be.
1036
00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:09,864
Do you watch gay porn?
1037
00:57:10,631 --> 00:57:13,000
-I--
-Okay, so you watch gay porn.
1038
00:57:13,668 --> 00:57:15,937
Okay. Okay.
1039
00:57:16,404 --> 00:57:17,939
Yes.
1040
00:57:18,339 --> 00:57:20,274
I have watched gay porn before.
1041
00:57:20,675 --> 00:57:23,277
And admittedly...
1042
00:57:24,078 --> 00:57:25,746
I still watch it
from time to time.
1043
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:28,282
Okay? Not a significant
percentage, but...
1044
00:57:28,516 --> 00:57:30,084
I still watch it all the same.
1045
00:57:30,450 --> 00:57:31,652
-Are you gay?
-No!
1046
00:57:31,786 --> 00:57:32,853
See, that's what
I'm talking about.
1047
00:57:32,987 --> 00:57:34,422
I'm proving your point, idiot.
1048
00:57:34,555 --> 00:57:35,923
I'm saying
that you get to decide
1049
00:57:36,057 --> 00:57:37,825
what you are
because ultimately
1050
00:57:37,959 --> 00:57:39,459
you're the only one who knows
who you want to be with.
1051
00:57:39,593 --> 00:57:41,228
Yeah, but it's not that simple.
1052
00:57:41,629 --> 00:57:43,898
I mean, Jesus. Like, my first,
1053
00:57:44,031 --> 00:57:47,034
my only sexual experiences
are with a guy.
1054
00:57:48,035 --> 00:57:50,638
You know, part of me can't help
but see men sexually.
1055
00:57:51,005 --> 00:57:52,606
And I don't know, I don't--
1056
00:57:52,740 --> 00:57:53,908
I don't mean to get all nature
versus nurture.
1057
00:57:54,041 --> 00:57:55,776
No, I get it.
1058
00:58:00,781 --> 00:58:02,783
Sometimes I wish I was gay.
1059
00:58:04,484 --> 00:58:06,754
Meaning, if I was...
1060
00:58:07,755 --> 00:58:09,423
that would explain so much.
1061
00:58:09,557 --> 00:58:13,027
You know, it would mean that
I'm not scared or embarrassed.
1062
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:14,695
I'm just gay.
1063
00:58:14,829 --> 00:58:17,264
You know, I'm not into women.
1064
00:58:18,366 --> 00:58:19,700
But I am.
1065
00:58:20,401 --> 00:58:21,769
-Into women?
-Yes.
1066
00:58:21,902 --> 00:58:24,338
Obsessively. Like, exclusively.
1067
00:58:24,538 --> 00:58:26,474
Except for those
few revved-up moments.
1068
00:58:26,607 --> 00:58:27,675
And, you know, I'm
always dreaming up
1069
00:58:27,808 --> 00:58:29,176
some fucking fairy tale for me
1070
00:58:29,310 --> 00:58:30,845
and every pretty woman I see,
you know?
1071
00:58:30,978 --> 00:58:32,480
But then there are
those other moments
1072
00:58:32,613 --> 00:58:34,548
and I get all confused
and fucked up.
1073
00:58:35,216 --> 00:58:36,617
Okay, well,
that's why I'm sitting here.
1074
00:58:36,751 --> 00:58:38,019
And I'm telling you
1075
00:58:38,152 --> 00:58:40,554
that you're
totally normal, Dylan.
1076
00:58:44,425 --> 00:58:46,560
I love you and I accept you.
1077
00:58:48,763 --> 00:58:50,031
All of you.
1078
00:58:54,535 --> 00:58:56,570
You know what is fucked up?
1079
00:59:01,510 --> 00:59:02,910
Even if I was gay...
1080
00:59:04,545 --> 00:59:05,913
I would have to deal with
1081
00:59:06,213 --> 00:59:08,749
not only the prejudices
that already exist,
1082
00:59:09,650 --> 00:59:11,085
but also my own psyche.
1083
00:59:11,218 --> 00:59:12,653
You know, wondering
1084
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,222
if I'm only gay
because I was molested.
1085
00:59:18,659 --> 00:59:20,094
I mean--
1086
00:59:20,861 --> 00:59:22,296
Fuck.
1087
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:27,902
Hey.
1088
00:59:34,642 --> 00:59:35,876
Did you ever see
that documentary
1089
00:59:36,010 --> 00:59:38,045
a couple of years back?
1090
00:59:38,179 --> 00:59:40,581
The Act of Killing,
you know, about those dogs
1091
00:59:40,714 --> 00:59:43,784
from the Indonesian genocides,
recreating their atrocities?
1092
00:59:43,918 --> 00:59:46,687
Oh yeah,
that was insane. Hard to watch.
1093
00:59:46,954 --> 00:59:49,223
You know, in the end, when...
1094
00:59:50,458 --> 00:59:54,228
the main guy is watching
the film and he expresses
1095
00:59:55,429 --> 00:59:56,964
maybe not regret, but...
1096
00:59:58,032 --> 00:59:59,633
at least some sense
of understanding of
1097
00:59:59,767 --> 01:00:01,669
the pain he inflicted. I--
1098
01:00:02,369 --> 01:00:04,472
I felt some strange
sense of hope.
1099
01:00:05,106 --> 01:00:08,242
Like, you know, if a monster
like that can acknowledge,
1100
01:00:08,375 --> 01:00:10,711
even in some small way
that why he did hurt people,
1101
01:00:10,845 --> 01:00:13,114
then maybe there's
some hope for humanity.
1102
01:00:13,447 --> 01:00:15,616
You know, like,
if people can learn, then,
1103
01:00:15,749 --> 01:00:17,284
you know, they can change.
1104
01:00:17,418 --> 01:00:20,522
Then I start thinking
of the millions of victims,
1105
01:00:20,821 --> 01:00:22,890
you know, the dead,
the murdered.
1106
01:00:23,190 --> 01:00:24,492
Like, what are they
supposed to learn?
1107
01:00:24,658 --> 01:00:27,094
How do they change? You know?
1108
01:00:27,228 --> 01:00:29,598
You know, when you die
or your parents die,
1109
01:00:29,730 --> 01:00:31,566
like, how do you change,
you know?
1110
01:00:31,732 --> 01:00:33,934
Or when you're raped
or molested,
1111
01:00:34,068 --> 01:00:35,570
how do you move on?
1112
01:00:35,803 --> 01:00:37,438
I mean, people do,
so I'm told. I mean,
1113
01:00:37,572 --> 01:00:39,206
I'd love to know how because I
still can't figure it out.
1114
01:00:39,340 --> 01:00:41,475
I mean, you know...
1115
01:00:41,942 --> 01:00:43,944
All I can see is
1116
01:00:44,078 --> 01:00:46,814
my piece of shit cousin
is married with kids,
1117
01:00:46,947 --> 01:00:48,415
living his fucking life,
1118
01:00:48,550 --> 01:00:50,117
and-- and-- and that's fine.
1119
01:00:50,251 --> 01:00:53,888
You know, I don't--
I-- I'm serious.
1120
01:00:54,021 --> 01:00:56,323
I don't begrudge him
his life. I just--
1121
01:00:58,459 --> 01:01:02,329
I hope he feels such crippling,
fucking guilt.
1122
01:01:03,197 --> 01:01:07,001
I hope every day
is a brutal struggle
1123
01:01:07,134 --> 01:01:09,203
with shame and fear and regret.
1124
01:01:09,336 --> 01:01:11,640
And I hope--
I hope he suffers every day
1125
01:01:11,772 --> 01:01:14,074
of his miserable
fucking life like I do.
1126
01:01:14,308 --> 01:01:16,877
If I could move on,
then by all means,
1127
01:01:17,011 --> 01:01:18,946
I wish him the same.
But until then...
1128
01:01:20,814 --> 01:01:22,216
Fuck him.
1129
01:01:26,655 --> 01:01:27,955
He's moved on.
1130
01:01:31,325 --> 01:01:33,093
He probably has.
1131
01:01:33,794 --> 01:01:35,162
Of course, he has.
1132
01:01:39,601 --> 01:01:41,101
You should too.
1133
01:02:05,125 --> 01:02:07,194
I had a friend...
1134
01:02:08,362 --> 01:02:09,496
Tell me once...
1135
01:02:13,300 --> 01:02:15,469
She said...
1136
01:02:16,705 --> 01:02:20,007
"You know who has victimized you
the most in your life?
1137
01:02:22,577 --> 01:02:23,844
You."
1138
01:02:26,146 --> 01:02:27,881
She said, "Your cousin
stopped molesting you
1139
01:02:28,015 --> 01:02:30,251
when you were ten and...
1140
01:02:31,919 --> 01:02:34,455
you've picked up
the baton ever since."
1141
01:02:37,726 --> 01:02:39,426
And...
1142
01:02:42,062 --> 01:02:44,031
it knocked me out.
1143
01:02:44,898 --> 01:02:47,034
I knew she was right, but
1144
01:02:47,268 --> 01:02:49,803
fuck, if it didn't hurt,
you know, like,
1145
01:02:50,739 --> 01:02:52,973
realizing that all that misery,
1146
01:02:53,107 --> 01:02:55,809
all those years of pain,
I did it to myself, you know?
1147
01:02:55,943 --> 01:02:57,712
And if I want it to stop,
you know,
1148
01:02:57,845 --> 01:02:59,913
I have to be the one
that stops it.
1149
01:03:00,047 --> 01:03:01,815
Like, I have to--
I have to be the one.
1150
01:03:01,949 --> 01:03:03,317
And I can't.
1151
01:03:03,450 --> 01:03:06,854
I-- I can't. I want to so badly,
but I just--
1152
01:03:07,354 --> 01:03:08,956
-Why not?
-I don't know.
1153
01:03:09,089 --> 01:03:11,425
-Yes, you do.
-I can't. I--
1154
01:03:12,293 --> 01:03:15,963
- Come on. Take control.
- I-- I just--
1155
01:03:18,966 --> 01:03:20,568
You are in control.
1156
01:03:20,769 --> 01:03:22,403
Okay? You know that, right?
1157
01:03:22,903 --> 01:03:24,471
You are the one
who gets to decide
1158
01:03:24,606 --> 01:03:26,073
how you want to live your life.
1159
01:03:26,206 --> 01:03:27,709
What is it going to take?
What does it change?
1160
01:03:27,841 --> 01:03:31,211
I-- I've thought this over
so many fucking times.
1161
01:03:31,345 --> 01:03:33,581
If-- If I could just get
rid of this fucking...
1162
01:03:35,717 --> 01:03:37,686
You know, if I could just
get rid of this-- this fucking,
1163
01:03:37,818 --> 01:03:40,421
you know, and move on, you know,
and be normal, you know?
1164
01:03:40,555 --> 01:03:42,823
And for the first time
in my life,
1165
01:03:42,956 --> 01:03:45,125
not hate myself
for not being normal.
1166
01:03:45,259 --> 01:03:47,729
I could let it go.
I think I could, you know?
1167
01:03:47,861 --> 01:03:49,330
But-- And I know.
I know, I know.
1168
01:03:49,463 --> 01:03:51,465
I need to just stop
skirting around the edges
1169
01:03:51,599 --> 01:03:54,034
with these massages
and just get a prostitute
1170
01:03:54,168 --> 01:03:55,537
and just get it over with.
1171
01:03:55,670 --> 01:03:57,304
-Do you want to take care of it?
-Yeah, I do.
1172
01:03:57,438 --> 01:03:58,939
-I really fucking do.
-Yeah?
1173
01:03:59,073 --> 01:04:01,175
Yeah, I-- I'm so sick of this.
1174
01:04:04,078 --> 01:04:05,513
Then let's.
1175
01:04:11,653 --> 01:04:13,087
Let's?
1176
01:04:14,955 --> 01:04:16,223
Take care of it.
1177
01:04:22,162 --> 01:04:24,164
-Are you saying...
-Yeah.
1178
01:04:31,573 --> 01:04:33,207
Are you serious?
1179
01:04:39,279 --> 01:04:41,982
Do you want to go back
to your place?
1180
01:04:51,593 --> 01:04:52,761
Oh, I am so embarrassed.
1181
01:04:52,893 --> 01:04:54,895
Hey, hey.
1182
01:04:56,196 --> 01:04:58,098
No more embarrassment, okay?
1183
01:05:01,435 --> 01:05:02,503
Okay.
1184
01:08:57,437 --> 01:08:59,439
Oh, you don't have to do that
if you don't want.
1185
01:09:01,341 --> 01:09:02,710
I want to.
1186
01:09:03,243 --> 01:09:04,746
Okay. Yeah.
1187
01:09:05,345 --> 01:09:06,914
Okay.
1188
01:09:20,227 --> 01:09:22,262
Okay. Okay.
1189
01:09:22,730 --> 01:09:24,732
- Okay?
- Yeah, okay.
1190
01:09:26,768 --> 01:09:28,836
Okay.
1191
01:09:40,414 --> 01:09:42,950
-Zoey?
-I can't, I can't, I can't...
1192
01:09:43,084 --> 01:09:44,284
Okay. It's okay.
1193
01:09:44,418 --> 01:09:46,486
-Zoey, are you okay?
-Yeah.
1194
01:09:46,621 --> 01:09:48,122
-Are you okay?
-Okay.
1195
01:09:48,255 --> 01:09:49,791
-Okay.
-I'm sorry.
1196
01:09:49,924 --> 01:09:51,458
I'm sorry.
1197
01:09:51,592 --> 01:09:53,293
-No, no... I just--
-No, no, no, it was too much.
1198
01:09:53,427 --> 01:09:54,862
-I understand.
-No, no, no, no. It's--
1199
01:09:55,663 --> 01:09:57,330
- It's not that.
- It's um...
1200
01:09:57,464 --> 01:09:58,933
It's-- It's complicated.
1201
01:09:59,067 --> 01:10:00,568
It's just complicated.
1202
01:10:01,401 --> 01:10:02,870
Fuck.
1203
01:10:07,975 --> 01:10:09,577
You can talk to me.
1204
01:10:13,981 --> 01:10:15,248
Okay.
1205
01:10:22,389 --> 01:10:24,792
Uh, so...
1206
01:10:26,293 --> 01:10:27,995
about a year ago,
1207
01:10:28,763 --> 01:10:30,430
I was working the night shift
1208
01:10:30,565 --> 01:10:34,068
at this bar on Colfax because...
1209
01:10:34,401 --> 01:10:36,537
...entry-level journalist
salaries
1210
01:10:36,671 --> 01:10:38,906
don't exactly pay the rent
in Denver, you know?
1211
01:10:41,008 --> 01:10:45,580
I noticed this guy
in the coal section one night...
1212
01:10:48,448 --> 01:10:50,383
and he kept coming
in more and more.
1213
01:10:51,152 --> 01:10:53,921
And I was aware of him
because he was cute...
1214
01:10:56,090 --> 01:10:57,792
and he would stare at me.
1215
01:11:01,696 --> 01:11:03,598
I thought it was really sexy.
1216
01:11:05,099 --> 01:11:08,970
One night for the first time,
he sat in my section.
1217
01:11:10,470 --> 01:11:11,806
And again
he didn't say anything.
1218
01:11:11,939 --> 01:11:14,307
He would just--
He just stared at me.
1219
01:11:16,177 --> 01:11:18,411
And I thought that was weird.
1220
01:11:20,347 --> 01:11:22,349
I told him, I'd give him
some time
1221
01:11:22,984 --> 01:11:24,786
and I walked down
1222
01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:27,989
the staff hallway to my locker.
1223
01:11:32,593 --> 01:11:35,897
I still remember
the pain of my knees
1224
01:11:36,030 --> 01:11:40,902
bearing down on the cracked
tiles of the bathroom floor.
1225
01:11:43,070 --> 01:11:45,305
I could feel everything
and I can feel it.
1226
01:11:45,438 --> 01:11:46,808
I can feel it now.
1227
01:11:46,941 --> 01:11:48,776
It's this--
It's like this phantom pain,
1228
01:11:48,910 --> 01:11:50,745
you know, that comes in waves.
1229
01:11:50,878 --> 01:11:54,916
And I remember everything.
You know, like, he...
1230
01:11:55,683 --> 01:11:57,785
He had his hand over my head.
1231
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:02,023
And I was struggling
to move it away,
1232
01:12:02,156 --> 01:12:05,092
not because I believed I could
actually do anything about it,
1233
01:12:05,226 --> 01:12:06,459
but because he had my head
1234
01:12:06,594 --> 01:12:08,796
right next
to the toilet plunger.
1235
01:12:09,797 --> 01:12:11,566
And I felt
really nauseous
1236
01:12:11,699 --> 01:12:13,366
and I didn't know
if I was feeling nauseous
1237
01:12:13,500 --> 01:12:14,769
because of what was happening
1238
01:12:14,902 --> 01:12:16,871
or because of
the fucking plunger.
1239
01:12:17,004 --> 01:12:18,039
And I wanted to scream,
1240
01:12:18,172 --> 01:12:19,674
but I couldn't really scream
1241
01:12:19,807 --> 01:12:22,710
because my voice just
disappeared into nothing.
1242
01:12:23,443 --> 01:12:26,379
I tried not to feel anything,
but that didn't work.
1243
01:12:28,348 --> 01:12:30,551
I just really wanted to go numb.
1244
01:12:31,351 --> 01:12:32,920
I can just switch off.
1245
01:12:35,388 --> 01:12:37,225
But my knees hurt really bad,
1246
01:12:37,357 --> 01:12:40,828
so I focused on my pain.
1247
01:12:41,394 --> 01:12:43,865
Focussed on my pain
from my knees,
1248
01:12:43,998 --> 01:12:46,567
like a mantra, you know?
Like, you just--
1249
01:12:47,235 --> 01:12:49,704
Like you use your pain
to mask your pain.
1250
01:12:56,911 --> 01:12:58,411
Zoey, I...
1251
01:13:03,651 --> 01:13:05,418
Fuck. I am so sorry.
1252
01:13:05,553 --> 01:13:08,623
No. No, no, no. Hey, hey.
1253
01:13:09,257 --> 01:13:11,926
Don't be. I am sorry.
1254
01:13:12,927 --> 01:13:14,829
That's why I quit my job.
1255
01:13:16,030 --> 01:13:18,232
That's why
I stopped seeing you.
1256
01:13:18,366 --> 01:13:21,002
That's why I stopped seeing
everyone. I just retreated.
1257
01:13:21,369 --> 01:13:22,904
The worst part is--
1258
01:13:23,037 --> 01:13:25,172
I mean, there's a lot of
worse parts, but...
1259
01:13:25,306 --> 01:13:26,741
...it's thinking of college.
1260
01:13:26,874 --> 01:13:28,776
What happened in college.
1261
01:13:29,442 --> 01:13:30,745
I used to never
really think about it
1262
01:13:30,878 --> 01:13:32,647
or I compartmentalized it enough
1263
01:13:32,780 --> 01:13:35,116
to just, like, live my life
and get along
1264
01:13:35,883 --> 01:13:36,951
with it.
1265
01:13:37,084 --> 01:13:38,953
But now I think
about it all the time.
1266
01:13:39,086 --> 01:13:40,655
Now it's just running through
my mind all the time, every day.
1267
01:13:40,788 --> 01:13:42,123
Like, they're just,
like, little details of
1268
01:13:42,256 --> 01:13:43,591
that night that just
go through my mind
1269
01:13:43,724 --> 01:13:44,926
or, like, smells and stuff,
1270
01:13:45,059 --> 01:13:46,861
like, I can't walk
down the street
1271
01:13:46,994 --> 01:13:49,697
and smell a guy's cologne
without feeling sick.
1272
01:13:49,830 --> 01:13:51,565
I'll run through that night,
1273
01:13:51,699 --> 01:13:53,267
I was flirting with them,
1274
01:13:53,401 --> 01:13:54,635
which is fucking normal,
you know?
1275
01:13:54,769 --> 01:13:56,604
You're flirting with people and
1276
01:13:56,737 --> 01:13:58,739
then I decided to make out
with one of them
1277
01:13:59,006 --> 01:14:01,108
and the other one
was just, like, hovering,
1278
01:14:01,242 --> 01:14:02,810
and I thought that he would just
1279
01:14:03,377 --> 01:14:06,446
take the hint and...
just go away, but he--
1280
01:14:06,847 --> 01:14:09,150
Because I'd already
made my decision, but...
1281
01:14:09,884 --> 01:14:11,451
I didn't know that they
already decided
1282
01:14:11,585 --> 01:14:13,020
what was going to happen.
1283
01:14:13,154 --> 01:14:15,890
Then I see myself
giving in because, maybe,
1284
01:14:16,023 --> 01:14:18,225
it doesn't have to be that
if I give in,
1285
01:14:18,359 --> 01:14:20,928
if I let it happen,
it doesn't have to be that.
1286
01:14:22,029 --> 01:14:24,198
-Did I let it happen?
-No, you didn't.
1287
01:14:27,368 --> 01:14:28,903
I don't know, man.
1288
01:14:29,036 --> 01:14:31,739
-Did I let it happen?
-You didn't let it happen.
1289
01:14:35,509 --> 01:14:37,545
Shit. Dyl, if I
can't outrun that,
1290
01:14:37,678 --> 01:14:40,581
what the fuck am I
going to do with this one?
1291
01:14:43,117 --> 01:14:45,152
Zoey, I--
1292
01:14:47,154 --> 01:14:49,457
I don't even know
where to begin.
1293
01:14:49,590 --> 01:14:51,559
It's fine. Bah!
1294
01:14:51,692 --> 01:14:53,094
I'm sorry I loaded on you.
1295
01:14:53,227 --> 01:14:55,529
Are you kidding?
1296
01:14:58,332 --> 01:14:59,834
Thank you.
1297
01:15:01,135 --> 01:15:02,336
Zoe...
1298
01:15:05,639 --> 01:15:07,074
It's okay.
1299
01:15:09,210 --> 01:15:12,546
I'm sorry I broke down tonight.
If--
1300
01:15:13,948 --> 01:15:16,717
You know, if you felt like
you had to do this all for me.
1301
01:15:16,851 --> 01:15:18,185
If I brought all this up--
1302
01:15:18,319 --> 01:15:19,653
No, you didn't bring up anything
1303
01:15:19,787 --> 01:15:21,622
that wasn't already
at the surface.
1304
01:15:32,867 --> 01:15:35,302
Dyl, I have
to break through this.
1305
01:15:36,537 --> 01:15:38,839
I need to... I...
1306
01:15:40,775 --> 01:15:42,710
I need you.
1307
01:15:44,378 --> 01:15:46,714
I need someone I can trust...
1308
01:15:48,916 --> 01:15:52,019
because I'm terrified
of everyone else right now.
1309
01:15:57,458 --> 01:16:01,262
I can't go on feeling like this.
1310
01:16:02,430 --> 01:16:03,764
Hmm?
1311
01:16:05,666 --> 01:16:07,168
I know you understand that.
1312
01:16:13,040 --> 01:16:14,141
I do.
1313
01:16:16,744 --> 01:16:18,813
So, we're good.
So, if I just cry
1314
01:16:18,946 --> 01:16:20,147
or freak out or whatever,
1315
01:16:20,281 --> 01:16:23,184
I'll start crying too.
1316
01:16:38,732 --> 01:16:40,034
What?
1317
01:16:40,569 --> 01:16:42,937
-What?
-Sit with me.
96616
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