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1
00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:08,007
{\an8}♪ ♪
2
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:12,379
{\an8}But I need you.
3
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,514
{\an8}I don't believe you.
Prove it to me.
4
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,683
{\an8}Please, I can't do this
without you.
5
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,718
{\an8}What is the word
on the street these days
6
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,720
{\an8}about herringbone?
7
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,556
{\an8}- Not now, Dad.
- FRASIER: It's all right,
all right.
8
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:26,493
{\an8}I've got some options
in the downstairs closet here.
9
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,228
{\an8}I can't do this alone.
10
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,797
{\an8}So tell me, are you in
or are you out?
11
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:32,365
{\an8}Because if I
walk out that door...
12
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,534
{\an8}Is houndstooth too whimsical?
13
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:38,037
{\an8}Please, Dad.
14
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,508
{\an8}Because if I walk out that door
and you follow me,
15
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:44,177
{\an8}maybe...
16
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,512
{\an8}we'll start a movement.
17
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,251
{\an8}I want to love it. I do.
I-I do, we ju... I'm just...
18
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:54,587
{\an8}- I'm not buying you in the role.
- Oh, what do you know? You...
19
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,689
{\an8}You're judging me
on an acting scale
20
00:00:56,689 --> 00:00:58,658
{\an8}of one to Backdraft.
21
00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,093
{\an8}Backdraft is
a cinematic masterpiece.
22
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:01,728
{\an8}No, Backdraft is fire porn.
23
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,531
{\an8}Now, I know
what you two are thinking:
24
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:08,067
{\an8}"here comes the Harvard lecturer
in his hackneyed tweed."
25
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:12,238
{\an8}No, but I was thinking,
"How long is it gonna
26
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,307
{\an8}take my dad to mention
he's teaching at Harvard?"
27
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,409
{\an8}Under a minute. It's impressive.
28
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,646
{\an8}So, just a bit longer than
you actually attended Harvard?
29
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:23,616
{\an8}So, mock me if you will,
but this is the beginning
30
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:25,351
{\an8}of a new academic era for me.
31
00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:27,587
{\an8}Frasier Crane is stepping
into a world where he can
32
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,557
{\an8}- impart wisdom
and influence young minds.
- FREDDY: Okay, Dad,
33
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,259
{\an8}no one loves hearing
Frasier Crane talk about
34
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,761
{\an8}Frasier Crane more than I do,
35
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,397
{\an8}- but Eve's got
a big audition this week.
- Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,566
{\an8}It's a play about a girl
who works at a slaughterhouse
37
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,668
{\an8}and she convinces her coworkers
to unionize
38
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:45,138
{\an8}through passion, grit
and a push-up bra.
39
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,240
{\an8}Well, if the dialogue
I overheard was any indication,
40
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,342
{\an8}then the cows
are the lucky ones.
41
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:52,245
{\an8}Dad, could you just...
42
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,746
{\an8}could you give us
a little peace and quiet?
43
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:55,515
{\an8}Oh, I'm sorry, yes,
if only Eve had a place
44
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,217
{\an8}where she could be on her own.
45
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,219
{\an8}Perhaps someplace that
I've already paid for,
46
00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:00,854
{\an8}just directly across the hall.
47
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,689
{\an8}Oh, wait,
48
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,357
{\an8}aren't you late for the
boarding school where you teach
49
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:06,826
{\an8}unruly adolescents
the true meaning of poetry?
50
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:08,595
{\an8}(knocking)
51
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:11,531
{\an8}I'll have you know
tweed's sophisticated wool
52
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,534
{\an8}and sensible elbow patches
are emblematic
53
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,803
{\an8}of the intellect
and compassion it takes
54
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,671
{\an8}to inspire young minds.
55
00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:21,140
{\an8}Are we twinsies?
56
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,510
{\an8}I'll change.
57
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:27,780
{\an8}Don't you have class right now?
58
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,516
{\an8}I'm here to take your father
under my wing
59
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,451
{\an8}and help him navigate
his first week at Harvard.
60
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,786
{\an8}I'll be the Sancho Panza
to your Quixote.
61
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,255
{\an8}All right, David.
62
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,457
{\an8}You know, I know
my way around Harvard.
63
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,192
{\an8}After all,
I did go to school there.
64
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,927
{\an8}Wait, you did?
'Cause I don't think
65
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,595
{\an8}you've ever
told us that story before.
66
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:45,798
See, now, that's good acting.
67
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:56,643
Well, if it isn't world-renowned
psychiatrist, TV personality
68
00:02:56,643 --> 00:03:00,413
and newly minted Harvard
educator Dr. Frasier Crane.
69
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,583
Please, we're friends.
Just call me world-renowned.
70
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,452
And to what
do I owe the pleasure?
71
00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:07,654
Oh, as I told Alan, I came here
72
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,255
to christen my newest ship.
73
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,291
And I thought that meant
there'd be champagne.
74
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,393
So I brought you a cappuccino.
75
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:15,695
You can imagine
my disappointment.
76
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,297
Welcome aboard.
77
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,798
It's been years
since I've had anyone here
78
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:21,901
with any passion, excitement
or even vital signs.
79
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:26,239
- I-I also brought you this.
- Oh.
80
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,776
Oh, a replica "thinking cap"
from my old talk show.
81
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:32,679
How fun.
82
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,548
Oh, he students will go nuts
if you break it out for them.
83
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,784
Yes, well, you know,
I've put all that behind me.
84
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,485
Gone are the days
when I would dole out
85
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:41,354
ridiculous advice
to my TV audience.
86
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:44,257
Sure, sure.
You-you don't have to use it.
87
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:46,292
It's custom made,
overnight shipping.
88
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,561
The point is,
we're so glad you're here.
89
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,830
Glad?
Thanks to your popularity,
90
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,732
hardly any students
have signed up for my class,
91
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,267
so I'm ecstatic.
92
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,473
(student whoops)
93
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,310
Look around, uncle.
94
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,446
You are the rosy-cheeked
debutante at
95
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,714
this ball of the brains.
96
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,015
I am the strapping,
young cadet...
97
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,316
- Go sit down, David.
- Okay.
98
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:16,789
Welcome to
a History of Psychology.
99
00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:19,425
In this semester, I will be
your Virgil, leading you
100
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,427
not through the circles of Hades
but through the...
101
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,429
Excuse me.
I have a question.
102
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,931
Oh, well, I can ramp back into
103
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,866
my Virgil speech in a moment.
Uh, yes?
104
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,902
I think my boyfriend
might be cheating on me.
105
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:31,971
Should I confront him?
106
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,475
Well, I...
I am sorry to hear that,
107
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:37,610
but, uh, this is not
my old TV show.
108
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,780
I'm not giving out any
personal advice. Uh... Yes?
109
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,383
I have your first
call-in question.
110
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,818
She's from Phoenix, Arizona.
She's my mom.
111
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:47,820
She wants to know
if you're as handsome in person
112
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,522
as you were on TV.
113
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:51,491
(chuckling)
114
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,926
That is not for me to say.
115
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:56,763
People magazine said,
"Yes, absolutely," but...
116
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,297
we're getting off track.
Now, now,
117
00:04:58,297 --> 00:05:00,433
to our-our first lecture.
118
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,301
What made
119
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:05,304
Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt tick?
120
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:07,373
Hmm?
Our story begins
121
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,375
- in Mannheim, Germany.
- DAVID: Uncle,
122
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,310
this guy's not taking notes.
He's Googling you.
123
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,913
Stop searching
"Frasier Crane height."
124
00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:15,748
It's all right, David.
125
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,050
No, it's not okay.
126
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,484
Why does he need to know
your net worth?
127
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,019
A man's true value
has always be...
128
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,321
Oh, my God, uncle,
you're like a Rockefeller.
129
00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:23,990
(students murmuring)
130
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,026
Kind of makes your Christmas
gifts seem ungenerous.
131
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,563
All right, all right.
That's enough, that's enough!
132
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:33,332
I'd like to make one thing
absolutely clear.
133
00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:35,802
This class will have
nothing to do with my career,
134
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,904
my public life
or my old TV show.
135
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:41,441
I am here to lead you on
a challenging academic odyssey.
136
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,610
And if you are here
for any other reason...
137
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,680
...then I invite you
to leave now.
138
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:03,996
Great.
139
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,501
Well, we've
140
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,470
separated the
wheat from the chaff.
141
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,105
Now...
142
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,108
...are there any
serious questions?
143
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,579
I'm six foot, one.
144
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,116
Tried to finish the lecture.
145
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,951
As I continued to talk,
their eyes
146
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,487
just started to glaze over
as if they weren't even...
147
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,459
Alan.
148
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,162
- Alan!
- Mm?
149
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,030
Yeah, I'm glad
it went so smoothly.
150
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:40,833
- Another triumph.
- No. No.
151
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,502
I failed.
152
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,604
I wanted them to take me
seriously as a professor,
153
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,406
and they rejected me, completely.
154
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:51,077
If you would just stop trying,
I promise you will stop failing.
155
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:56,516
Dr. Crane, I just left
the registrar's office.
156
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,518
Eight students withdrew
from your class today.
157
00:06:58,518 --> 00:06:59,952
Olivia, please.
158
00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:01,788
Frasier's taking this
hard enough as it is.
159
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,523
Most of them then signed up
for your class.
160
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,424
Damn it, Frasier,
get your act together!
161
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,027
OLIVIA:
What happened?
162
00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:09,729
I thought you'd be
natural at teaching.
163
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:11,964
You have decades of experience
in TV and radio.
164
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,866
But that's not teaching.
That's entertainment.
165
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:15,468
I'm not a dancing bear.
166
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,904
Oh, no one thinks of you
as a dancing bear.
167
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,206
But universities have changed
since you were a student here
168
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,975
for... thir... twe... for...
several decades ago.
169
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,547
Students today
need a little showmanship.
170
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:28,881
That's where you come in.
171
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:32,018
You make the hard ideas
go down easy.
172
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,686
(chuckles)
173
00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:36,155
So, I'm the cheese
wrapped around a dog's pill?
174
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,558
Yes, you get it.
175
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,193
Now, if you could just see
176
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:43,830
how enthusiastically
the students would react
177
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,065
to just a little glimpse
of the old you,
178
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:47,767
I know you would
change your mind.
179
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,968
I'm not changing my mind.
180
00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:52,104
Okay, but we still
need you to succeed.
181
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,873
We are paying you
a lot of money.
182
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:55,174
You're paying me almost nothing.
183
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,476
Which is a lot of money
in academia.
184
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,246
It is all about the numbers.
185
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,914
And if you do not bring more
students into this department,
186
00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:03,249
well, then the numbers
are not good.
187
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,851
What do you suggest?
188
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,054
Uh, well,
this is a new career for you,
189
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,256
so maybe you would benefit
from some seasoned help.
190
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,593
- That sounds reasonable.
- That's perceptive.
- Mm-hmm.
191
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,494
So, until you get your sea legs,
192
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:16,996
why don't you co-teach
your classes with Alan?
193
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,731
- Well, that's ridiculous.
- What is wrong with you?
194
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,700
My goodness.
195
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,935
Alan is-is lazy.
196
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,837
He doesn't even finish
anything he starts.
197
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,739
And Frasier is...
198
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,007
Eh.
199
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,982
What do you say, Alan--
is it worth a try?
200
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,717
Well...
201
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,086
Please, Alan,
help me help Dr. Crane help
202
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,889
the next generation of people
who will help other people.
203
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,626
Sounds like a Ponzi scheme
of benevolence.
204
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:48,995
Are you really saying
205
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,697
I should take on extra work
without extra pay?
206
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,233
I am saying that you should help
your oldest and dearest friend.
207
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:57,003
Without extra pay.
208
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,706
You can bring your cat
back to the office.
209
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,776
Fine, I'll do it.
210
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,278
Anything for a dear friend.
211
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,713
You're talking about your cat?
212
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,982
Well, who do you think
I was talking about?
213
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,089
You in a hurry to get home
to get your cat?
214
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,292
No, no, that would be silly.
215
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,660
Frasier Crane,
216
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,628
meet Margaret Scratcher.
217
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,701
Now, if I may,
218
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:31,570
what's so offensive
about being a dancing bear?
219
00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:35,007
You're a natural showman.
Why not use that talent?
220
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:36,175
I don't want to be
a showman anymore.
221
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:38,077
I want to make an impact.
222
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,012
Well, didn't you make an impact
on your television program?
223
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,681
Well, it's debatable.
224
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:43,649
But then again, you know that.
You saw it.
225
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:48,054
You did see my show, didn't you?
226
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,588
Of course.
227
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:51,324
B... Bits and pieces.
228
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,160
I may have missed it.
229
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,228
It was on for 14 years.
230
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:59,632
Here, let me show you.
231
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,704
{\an8}Perhaps the real reason
you have not yet asked
232
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,340
{\an8}your daughter to forgive you
233
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,942
{\an8}is that you have not yet
forgiven yourself.
234
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,679
{\an8}(crying)
235
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,057
Well, this is all
rather insightful.
236
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,960
That was season one.
237
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,628
Here's a clip from...
238
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:32,732
...season 13.
239
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,300
(lively music playing)
240
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,634
♪ Dr. Crane ♪
241
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,937
♪ He can fix your brain ♪
242
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,940
♪ Keep from going insane
and take away the pain ♪
243
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,309
♪ Yeah, it's Doctor,
Dr. Crane. ♪
244
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,344
ANNOUNCER:
Oh, Doctor!
245
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,947
(whooping, cheering)
246
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,756
{\an8}(laughing)
247
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,026
{\an8}How about that audience,
huh, Gilbert?
248
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,395
{\an8}Lovely, lovely, lovely!
249
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,430
Welcome!
250
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,699
Today on our show,
I will be delving
251
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:10,002
into the mind of the world's
smartest pig,
252
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,971
Albert Swinestein!
253
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,441
Then, we'll unveil this week's
254
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:18,911
- Frasier's Fra-vorite Things.
- (laughs)
255
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,079
(applause, whooping)
256
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,081
And Tom Arnold is here!
257
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,716
(audience whooping)
258
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,753
But first, let's put on...
259
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,756
ALL:
...our thinking caps.
260
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,291
(laughter)
261
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,365
I see now why you may have felt
262
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,767
that you'd lost your way.
263
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,202
At one point...
264
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:45,371
...I hawked a tinted moisturizer
265
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,107
with the tagline...
266
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:49,909
"I'm glistening."
267
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,013
And that's why I quit.
268
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,083
My show had devolved
into meaningless fluff.
269
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,151
My greatest nightmare is that
270
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,087
that will be my whole legacy.
271
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:04,490
Are you sure this isn't less
about how people will see you
272
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,926
and more about
how you see yourself?
273
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,128
Don't you diagnose me
with your projection.
274
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,097
It's merely a suggestion
of projection.
275
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,265
I have an objection
to your projection suggestion.
276
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:15,968
And I question your rejection
of my projection suggestion.
277
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:20,406
But if you're intent on
avoiding the razzle-dazzle,
278
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,175
then we'll have to win over
your class with substance.
279
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:26,812
And I think I know the very
substance we should start with.
280
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:29,081
Substance-- you're talking
about a drink, aren't you?
281
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,183
Oh, you mean a book.
282
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:33,352
How about that?
283
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,187
Ah, I was right the first time.
284
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,995
Oh, hi. How are you feeling
about your second class?
285
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,964
Better.
Alan and I dug deep last night
286
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:46,799
and came up with some things
I think you're really...
287
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:49,935
That's fantastic.
Uh, so I sent Alan in already
288
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:51,837
and, you know,
I hope it's okay--
289
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,339
I futzed with the lighting
a little bit
290
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,374
and I made a few other
little changes
291
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,309
just to help you feel more
at home. You'll barely notice.
292
00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:59,044
Thank you. You're really
taking good care of me.
293
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:01,080
Anything for my
"fra-vorite" teacher.
294
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,550
Did you say "fra-vorite"?
295
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,285
No.
296
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,521
Oh, just one more thing.
297
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,556
These doors are broken
or whatever.
298
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:14,193
If you wouldn't mind
using the, uh, top entrance,
299
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,528
just going around?
300
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,129
Okay.
301
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,136
(lively music plays on speakers)
302
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:27,239
♪ Dr. Crane,
he can fix your brain ♪
303
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,408
♪ Keep from going insane... ♪
304
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,377
It's my greatest nightmare!
305
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:33,312
ANNOUNCER:
Oh, Doctor!
306
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,953
Dr. Crane, where are you going?
You have class.
307
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:42,388
Well, that makes one of us.
308
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,225
You tricked me.
309
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,928
No. No, no, no, no.
I tricked you and Alan.
310
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:51,931
He had no idea
I had that planned.
311
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,432
And I was hoping that
once you saw how excited
312
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,935
the students were,
you would embrace the old you.
313
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:58,304
You want the dancing bear,
don't you?
314
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:01,040
No. What I want is a healthy
learning environment
315
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,441
- for my...
- You want the dancing bear!
316
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,143
Of course I want
the dancing bear!
317
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:06,278
Why do you think I hired you--
318
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:08,180
for your negligible
teaching experience?
319
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,482
For the zero academic papers
that you've written?
320
00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:12,117
No.
321
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:14,086
Because you are a big,
beautiful dancing bear
322
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:17,289
in a pink tutu that the students
will actually pay attention to.
323
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:20,192
That is why you are here.
324
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,494
So dance, bear, dance!
325
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,497
I refuse!
326
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:27,233
I walked out of this job once
before and I'll do it again!
327
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,235
Oh, no, Dr. Crane,
please, please.
328
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,603
I put myself
on the line for you.
329
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,471
The numbers are bad.
If you quit now,
330
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:34,306
well, the numbers--
they're going to get worse.
331
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:36,475
What are these numbers
you keep talking about?
332
00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:39,078
They're numbers.
And they're bad.
333
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,046
This is Harvard!
334
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,115
- For God's sake,
Harvard's endowment alone
- You see, the big numbers
335
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,483
- could power a small country
- are little
and the little numbers
336
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:45,517
- for centuries!
- should be big... Okay,
337
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,452
it's not about the numbers,
338
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,219
it's about my sister!
339
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,121
All my life,
340
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,223
she's been just
a little more popular,
341
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,558
a little more successful.
342
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,995
I don't know
if-if you've ever dealt
343
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,130
with a-a sibling
with whom you have
344
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:01,367
a very intense
and competitive relationship.
345
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,108
I am familiar with the dynamic.
346
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,077
I need your star power
347
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:14,580
to finally beat my sister.
348
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,449
She just made provost at Yale. Yale,
349
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:20,686
- Frasier, Yale!
- Don't you "Yale" at me!
350
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,992
Okay, one more time.
351
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:29,128
Can we take a break?
I'm exhausted.
352
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:30,929
The last time I pushed
myself this hard,
353
00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:32,464
John popped out.
354
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,466
You got to use it, okay?
355
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:36,068
Y-You're supposed to be
at the end of your rope
356
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,303
in this scene, right?
You got-you got to sound
357
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,638
beaten down, pathetic,
358
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,440
self-pitying, like no one
359
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,209
on the face of the planet
believes in you.
360
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:45,511
Do you have an example?
361
00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:56,522
Am I...
362
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:59,358
destined to be a failure?
363
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,995
One by one,
they've attached strings
364
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,564
to my wrists and to my knees.
365
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:08,300
I've been turned into a puppet.
366
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,736
To dance at their behest.
367
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,538
And once I've outlived
my usefulness,
368
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,406
it's back in the box I go.
369
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,745
Yeah.
So, that, but likable.
370
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,246
I don't know.
I feel like the energy
371
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:23,549
needs to be quirky and angrier.
372
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:24,983
What?
What would that even look like?
373
00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:28,454
My ire is peaked.
374
00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:33,125
They booby-trapped you
in your own charisma.
375
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:36,995
How dare they debase you
by forcing you to do
376
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:40,766
the very thing you did
by choice for 15 years?
377
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:42,735
I'm sorry, what is this about?
378
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,136
- Allow me.
- Sit down, David.
379
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,404
Okay.
380
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,642
Things aren't working out
at Harvard.
381
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,111
I'm thinking of leaving.
382
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,613
Wow.
383
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,549
Really?
384
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,418
Oh, sorry, Dad,
385
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:02,020
just so I have this
100% crystal clear--
386
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:04,757
you're thinking
of dropping out...
387
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,332
...of Harvard?
388
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,502
I...
(sighs) Dad,
389
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:19,438
do you think you gave Harvard
enough of a chance?
390
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:22,674
You're just so bright, Dad. I...
391
00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:25,544
I'd hate to see you waste
that kind of potential.
392
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,381
Are you having trouble
making friends?
393
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,751
Tell you what--
why not take a gap year?
394
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,353
You know,
take a little time to...
395
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,121
to think things over,
'cause, you know,
396
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,423
I'm just worried about
397
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:38,590
how this is gonna affect
398
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:41,460
the rest of your life.
399
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,796
What am I supposed
to tell my friends?!
400
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,269
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
401
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:54,373
Are you high on drugs?
402
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,079
Very funny.
Very droll.
403
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,749
You quite finished?
404
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,617
No, Dad, I'm just kidding.
(chuckles)
405
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:07,619
No one gets it more than I do.
Harvard's not for everyone.
406
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:10,489
- It's-it's okay to give up.
- I'm not giving up.
407
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,258
- No, I'm just saying there's
no shame in being a quitter.
- I'm not a quitter.
408
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,829
Well, you quit your radio show,
you quit your TV show.
409
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,564
Didn't you and Uncle Niles
once have a restaurant
410
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,699
you quit after, like, one day?
411
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:25,370
I'm not quitting, I just...
412
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:26,805
I can't seem to figure out
413
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:29,241
how to get my students
to take me seriously.
414
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,677
You know, the character
I'm auditioning for--
415
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:33,812
nobody takes her
seriously, either.
416
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:35,514
Nobody except for Julius,
417
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:38,283
the partially-blind
night shift custodian.
418
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,452
And the way he talks about her
419
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,522
allows others to see her
for the leader that she is,
420
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:46,892
right up until he falls into
the industrial meat grinder.
421
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,497
So...
422
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:54,800
if I could find my Julius--
423
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,702
one student with whom
I could engage
424
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,170
in an inspiring conversation
425
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,505
and thereby win over
the entire class.
426
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,876
And I bet I know
just the Julius I need.
427
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:08,180
I bet you do.
428
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:15,153
After that brief
hiccup yesterday,
429
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,556
I think it's time
we got back on track.
430
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,558
Uh, but first,
does anyone have a question?
431
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,193
I have a question.
432
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,295
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
433
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:25,497
Ah, yes, the young lady
in the back there.
434
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:28,233
Yes, I have prepared a question
for you, Dr. Crane.
435
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,803
Oh, wonderful.
Well, I'm excited to hear that.
436
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,906
I'm your helper.
437
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,542
I'm... I'm your...
I'm your Sancho Panza.
438
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,411
It's about Hermann Ebbinghaus.
439
00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:42,381
Oh, yes, Ebbinghaus.
Oh, very interesting.
440
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:45,384
You planned this without me.
You totally went over my head.
441
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:48,353
Yes, and as a serious academic,
442
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,756
could you tell me
what his whole deal was?
443
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,392
And, please,
no gimmicky showmanship.
444
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:56,929
Uh, excuse me... ma'am.
445
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,431
Ma'am?
I'm not a ma'am.
446
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:02,701
I'm a miss.
I'm a young, co-ed miss.
447
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,303
Well, I'm convinced.
448
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:07,406
Really? 'Cause you look like
an old mom.
449
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,908
If I look old, it's because
somebody made me wear
450
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:11,743
this stupid turtleneck.
451
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:13,745
Oh, now,
as Ebbinghaus once said...
452
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,514
Nobody is buying
453
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,250
- this little act.
- Oh, yeah? Show of hands--
454
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,818
who thinks I'm a student?
455
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,989
Oh... Well, she-she's not.
456
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:26,992
She's just a wannabe actress
who stole my moment.
457
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:28,860
Wannabe?
458
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:31,363
I have these dweebs
eating out of my hand.
459
00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:33,231
You took advantage of him,
didn't you?
460
00:20:33,231 --> 00:20:36,268
You took advantage
of this poor, gullible buffoon.
461
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:39,871
Or maybe I'm here because
he knew that you couldn't do it.
462
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,607
Well, go find your own uncle,
463
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:43,909
'cause this one's mine!
464
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,011
(chanting):
Fight, fight, fight, fight,
465
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,679
- fight, fight, fight,
- All right, all right.
466
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:49,014
- fight, fight, fight...
- Everyone, calm down.
467
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,916
She's only here
because my uncle pays
468
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,851
for an apartment
for her and her baby.
469
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,754
All right, stop, stop!
470
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:58,690
Everyone.
471
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:01,893
I think it's time...
472
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:05,263
we put on our
473
00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:07,032
- thinking caps.
- Thinking caps!
474
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:22,447
Sounds like
your class went well.
475
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:25,651
I was teaching next door
and the applause woke me up.
476
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,621
Yes.
477
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,790
I had them eating
out of the palm of my hand.
478
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:35,427
Did manage to squeeze in
479
00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:37,462
20 minutes about
Hermann Ebbinghaus
480
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,965
because of this silly hat,
481
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,566
and a story I told them about
482
00:21:41,566 --> 00:21:44,503
Albert Swinestein's
quiz show scandal.
483
00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:46,538
So, why do you look so glum?
484
00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:49,675
Because this wasn't
who I wanted to be.
485
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:51,743
Thirty years ago...
486
00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:54,546
I left Boston
with my tail between my legs.
487
00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:58,950
I had dreams
of returning, triumphant.
488
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:00,819
Now those dreams
just keep slipping
489
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,454
farther and farther away.
490
00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:05,390
It's a rather fetching hat.
491
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,992
May I have a look?
492
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:10,362
Ow!
493
00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:11,530
What was that for?
494
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,765
For being a baby.
495
00:22:13,765 --> 00:22:16,835
You're rich, you're famous,
your students love you.
496
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,871
For some reason, you smell
naturally of sandalwood.
497
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,474
What more
could you possibly want?
498
00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:24,009
I wanted to make an impact.
499
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,378
Wanted to realize
the potential I had
500
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,480
when I set out on this
career path 40 years ago.
501
00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:31,383
I see.
502
00:22:31,383 --> 00:22:34,653
That's a rather fetching belt.
Do you mind if I have a look?
503
00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:37,756
Am I being that ridiculous?
504
00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:39,991
You got 18-year-olds
to listen to a lecture
505
00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:42,694
about Ebbinghaus for 20 minutes,
506
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:45,564
and all it took was a silly hat
and a story about a pig.
507
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,532
Which, by the way,
I have to hear.
508
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,503
(gasps)
♪ Dr. Crane. ♪
509
00:22:51,503 --> 00:22:53,472
Oh, it was marvelous!
510
00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:55,574
The students were raving.
You're a hit.
511
00:22:55,574 --> 00:22:59,611
Yes, Frasier was just
complaining about being beloved.
512
00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:02,514
Do you mind if
I take a look at this hat?
513
00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:05,784
Hmm.
514
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:08,420
I have a little bit
of a confession.
515
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:10,122
This thinking cap
wasn't shipped overnight.
516
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:13,125
I bought it years ago when
I came to see your show live.
517
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:16,027
You were a fan of the show?
518
00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:18,163
- Mm-hmm.
- You-you didn't mention that.
519
00:23:18,163 --> 00:23:20,866
It's a little bit
embarrassing, but
520
00:23:20,866 --> 00:23:24,503
I even ran my local chapter
of the Frasier Crane Fan Club.
521
00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:27,072
You were a Craniac?
522
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:34,980
Watching you lift up
and educate your viewers--
523
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,582
that's why I decided
to get my PhD.
524
00:23:38,383 --> 00:23:40,652
So, my show
actually inspired you,
525
00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:42,020
despite all
the meaningless fluff?
526
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:44,923
(chuckles) Because
of the meaningless fluff.
527
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:47,425
Well, that's what pulled me in
at first, anyway.
528
00:23:47,425 --> 00:23:50,428
Thank God, because otherwise,
who knows where I would be?
529
00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:52,764
Probably a head of department
530
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:55,834
at some backwater
community college.
531
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:57,636
Cornell.
532
00:24:01,807 --> 00:24:04,609
You know, maybe there's
nothing wrong
533
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:07,946
with a little razzle-dazzle.
534
00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:10,115
Just take that old
negative self-talk and...
535
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:11,583
hiyah!
536
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,954
Thank you.
537
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,722
Thank you both.
538
00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:18,990
Mostly Olivia.
539
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:25,564
This thinking cap of yours--
didn't I see it in your office
540
00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:27,465
with a price tag on it
last week?
541
00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:29,634
Oh, I may have embellished
542
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:31,736
to get a very
sincere point across.
543
00:24:31,736 --> 00:24:33,972
- (chuckles)
- Well done.
544
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:35,607
Oh, and, uh,
545
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:37,909
well done also on that, uh,
546
00:24:37,909 --> 00:24:39,978
pathetic Craniac thing
you made up.
547
00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:41,780
Mm-hmm.
548
00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:45,884
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why were you in my office?
549
00:24:45,884 --> 00:24:48,887
Oh, looking for the cat.
By the way,
550
00:24:48,887 --> 00:24:52,791
your desktop Zen garden's
been compromised.
551
00:24:52,791 --> 00:24:54,726
{\an8}Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
552
00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:01,499
{\an8}("Tossed Salads
and Scrambled Eggs" playing)
553
00:25:01,499 --> 00:25:03,268
{\an8}FRASIER:
Y'all know how this goes.
554
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:06,938
{\an8}♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
555
00:25:06,938 --> 00:25:10,575
{\an8}♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
556
00:25:12,143 --> 00:25:14,746
{\an8}♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused ♪
557
00:25:14,746 --> 00:25:17,215
{\an8}Yeah, maybe.
But I got you pegged.
558
00:25:17,215 --> 00:25:18,583
{\an8}(chuckles)
559
00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:21,553
{\an8}♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
560
00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:25,624
{\an8}♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
561
00:25:27,592 --> 00:25:29,728
{\an8}♪ Life's callin' again. ♪
562
00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,632
{\an8}Back in Beantown.
563
00:25:33,632 --> 00:25:34,699
{\an8}What is a boy to do?
42429
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