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1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,050
♪
2
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,577
But I need you.
3
00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:14,753
I don't believe you.
Prove it to me.
4
00:00:14,796 --> 00:00:16,972
Please, I can't do this
without you.
5
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:19,018
What is the word
on the street these days
6
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:20,976
about herringbone?
7
00:00:21,977 --> 00:00:23,805
- Not now, Dad.
- It's all right,
all right.
8
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:26,721
I've got some options
in the downstairs closet here.
9
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,375
I can't do this alone.
10
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:31,117
So tell me, are you in
or are you out?
11
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,552
Because if I
walk out that door...
12
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,729
Is houndstooth too whimsical?
13
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,081
Please, Dad.
14
00:00:39,212 --> 00:00:41,736
Because if I walk out that door
and you follow me,
15
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,304
maybe...
16
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,697
we'll start a movement.
17
00:00:48,743 --> 00:00:51,398
I want to love it. I do.
I-I do, we ju... I'm just...
18
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:54,836
-I'm not buying you in the role.
-Oh, what do you know? You...
19
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,969
You're judging me
on an acting scale
20
00:00:57,012 --> 00:00:58,927
of one to Backdraft.
21
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,190
Backdraftis
a cinematic masterpiece.
22
00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:02,017
No, Backdraftis fire porn.
23
00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:04,758
Now, I know
what you two are thinking:
24
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:08,111
"here comes the Harvard lecturer
in his hackneyed tweed."
25
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:12,376
No, but I was thinking,
"How long is it gonna
26
00:01:12,419 --> 00:01:14,465
take my dad to mention
he's teaching at Harvard?"
27
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,554
Under a minute. It's impressive.
28
00:01:17,598 --> 00:01:19,861
So, just a bit longer than
you actually attended Harvard?
29
00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:23,865
So, mock me if you will,
but this is the beginning
30
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,519
of a new academic era for me.
31
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,826
Frasier Crane is stepping
into a world where he can
32
00:01:27,869 --> 00:01:30,785
- impart wisdom
and influence young minds.
- Okay, Dad,
33
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:33,397
no one loves hearing
Frasier Crane talk about
34
00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:35,050
Frasier Crane more than I do,
35
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,575
-but Eve's got
a big audition this week.
-Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:37,618 --> 00:01:39,794
It's a play about a girl
who works at a slaughterhouse
37
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,927
and she convinces her coworkers
to unionize
38
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:45,235
through passion, grit
and a push-up bra.
39
00:01:45,278 --> 00:01:47,367
Well, if the dialogue
I overheard was any indication,
40
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,456
then the cows
are the lucky ones.
41
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,372
Dad, could you just...
42
00:01:52,415 --> 00:01:54,026
could you give us
a little peace and quiet?
43
00:01:54,069 --> 00:01:55,723
Oh, I'm sorry, yes,
if only Eve had a place
44
00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,334
where she could be on her own.
45
00:01:57,377 --> 00:01:59,336
Perhaps someplace that
I've already paid for,
46
00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,164
just directly across the hall.
47
00:02:01,207 --> 00:02:02,948
Oh, wait,
48
00:02:02,991 --> 00:02:04,515
aren't you late for the
boarding school where you teach
49
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,126
unruly adolescents
the true meaning of poetry?
50
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,739
I'll have you know
tweed's sophisticated wool
51
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,742
and sensible elbow patches
are emblematic
52
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:17,092
of the intellect
and compassion it takes
53
00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,877
to inspire young minds.
54
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,184
Are we twinsies?
55
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:23,664
I'll change.
56
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,060
Don't you have class right now?
57
00:02:28,103 --> 00:02:29,714
I'm here to take your father
under my wing
58
00:02:29,757 --> 00:02:31,629
and help him navigate
his first week at Harvard.
59
00:02:31,672 --> 00:02:34,066
I'll be the Sancho Panza
to your Quixote.
60
00:02:34,109 --> 00:02:35,372
All right, David.
61
00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:37,634
You know, I know
my way around Harvard.
62
00:02:37,678 --> 00:02:39,289
After all,
I did go to school there.
63
00:02:39,332 --> 00:02:41,247
Wait, you did?
'Cause I don't think
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00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,770
you've ever
told us that story before.
65
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:46,034
See, now, that's good acting.
66
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:56,871
Well, if it isn't world-renowned
psychiatrist, TV personality
67
00:02:56,915 --> 00:03:00,571
and newly minted Harvard
educator Dr. Frasier Crane.
68
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:03,748
Please, we're friends.
Just call me world-renowned.
69
00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:06,620
And to what
do I owe the pleasure?
70
00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:07,882
Oh, as I told Alan, I came here
71
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,362
to christen my newest ship.
72
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,408
And I thought that meant
there'd be champagne.
73
00:03:11,451 --> 00:03:13,540
So I brought you a cappuccino.
74
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,934
You can imagine
my disappointment.
75
00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:17,414
Welcome aboard.
76
00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:19,067
It's been years
since I've had anyone here
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00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:22,157
with any passion, excitement
or even vital signs.
78
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,336
-I-I also brought you this.
-Oh.
79
00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:30,035
Oh, a replica "thinking cap"
from my old talk show.
80
00:03:30,078 --> 00:03:32,907
How fun.
81
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:35,735
Oh, he students will go nuts
if you break it out for them.
82
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,043
Yes, well, you know,
I've put all that behind me.
83
00:03:38,086 --> 00:03:39,653
Gone are the days
when I would dole out
84
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,481
ridiculous advice
to my TV audience.
85
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,354
Sure, sure.
You-you don't have to use it.
86
00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:46,399
It's custom made,
overnight shipping.
87
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,749
The point is,
we're so glad you're here.
88
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:51,098
Glad?
Thanks to your popularity,
89
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,971
hardly any students
have signed up for my class,
90
00:03:53,014 --> 00:03:54,320
so I'm ecstatic.
91
00:04:03,198 --> 00:04:04,417
Look around, uncle.
92
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,593
You are the rosy-cheeked
debutante at
93
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:07,942
this ball of the brains.
94
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,335
I am the strapping,
young cadet...
95
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,380
-Go sit down, David.
-Okay.
96
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:17,038
Welcome to
a History of Psychology.
97
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,562
In this semester, I will be
your Virgil, leading you
98
00:04:19,606 --> 00:04:21,565
not through the circles of Hades
but through the...
99
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:23,567
Excuse me.
I have a question.
100
00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,220
Oh, well, I can ramp back into
101
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,135
my Virgil speech in a moment.
Uh, yes?
102
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:30,182
I think my boyfriend
might be cheating on me.
103
00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:32,226
Should I confront him?
104
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,622
Well, I...
I am sorry to hear that,
105
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,798
but, uh, this is not
my old TV show.
106
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:41,019
I'm not giving out any
personal advice. Uh... Yes?
107
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:43,500
I have your first
call-in question.
108
00:04:43,543 --> 00:04:46,067
She's from Phoenix, Arizona.
She's my mom.
109
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:48,069
She wants to know
if you're as handsome in person
110
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:49,680
as you were on TV.
111
00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,206
That is not for me to say.
112
00:04:54,249 --> 00:04:56,991
Peoplemagazine said,
"Yes, absolutely," but...
113
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,384
we're getting off track.
Now, now,
114
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,560
to our-our first lecture.
115
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,388
What made
116
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:05,391
Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt tick?
117
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,480
Hmm?
Our story begins
118
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,482
- in Mannheim, Germany.
- Uncle,
119
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,397
this guy's not taking notes.
He's Googling you.
120
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:14,182
Stop searching
"Frasier Crane height."
121
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,967
It's all right, David.
122
00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,360
No, it's not okay.
123
00:05:17,403 --> 00:05:18,622
Why does he need to know
your net worth?
124
00:05:18,665 --> 00:05:20,319
A man's true value
has always be...
125
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,408
Oh, my God, uncle,
you're like a Rockefeller.
126
00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:27,282
Kind of makes your Christmas
gifts seem ungenerous.
127
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:30,721
All right, all right.
That's enough, that's enough!
128
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,419
I'd like to make one thing
absolutely clear.
129
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:36,030
This class will have
nothing to do with my career,
130
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,163
my public life
or my old TV show.
131
00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:41,558
I am here to lead you on
a challenging academic odyssey.
132
00:05:41,601 --> 00:05:44,735
And if you are here
for any other reason...
133
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,825
...then I invite you
to leave now.
134
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,232
Great.
135
00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:08,628
Well, we've
136
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,587
separated the
wheat from the chaff.
137
00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:12,371
Now...
138
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,374
...are there any
serious questions?
139
00:06:18,246 --> 00:06:19,683
I'm six foot, one.
140
00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:23,426
Tried to finish the lecture.
141
00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:25,210
As I continued to talk,
their eyes
142
00:06:25,253 --> 00:06:27,560
just started to glaze over
as if they weren't even...
143
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,523
Alan.
144
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,482
-Alan!
-Mm?
145
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,310
Yeah, I'm glad
it went so smoothly.
146
00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:41,052
-Another triumph.
-No. No.
147
00:06:41,095 --> 00:06:42,619
I failed.
148
00:06:42,662 --> 00:06:44,750
I wanted them to take me
seriously as a professor,
149
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:47,493
and they rejected me,
completely.
150
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:51,323
If you would just stop trying,
I promise you will stop failing.
151
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:56,633
Dr. Crane, I just left
the registrar's office.
152
00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:58,635
Eight students withdrew
from your class today.
153
00:06:58,678 --> 00:07:00,201
Olivia, please.
154
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:01,986
Frasier's taking this
hard enough as it is.
155
00:07:02,029 --> 00:07:03,640
Most of them then signed up
for your class.
156
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:05,468
Damn it, Frasier,
get your act together!
157
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,296
What happened?
158
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,907
I thought you'd be
natural at teaching.
159
00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:12,213
You have decades of experience
in TV and radio.
160
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,085
But that's not teaching.
That's entertainment.
161
00:07:14,128 --> 00:07:15,565
I'm not a dancing bear.
162
00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:18,132
Oh, no one thinks of you
as a dancing bear.
163
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,526
But universities have changed
since you were a student here
164
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,181
for... thir... twe... for...
several decades ago.
165
00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:27,664
Students today
need a little showmanship.
166
00:07:27,707 --> 00:07:29,100
That's where you come in.
167
00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:32,277
You make the hard ideas
go down easy.
168
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,411
So, I'm the cheese
wrapped around a dog's pill?
169
00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:38,675
Yes, you get it.
170
00:07:38,718 --> 00:07:40,503
Now, if you could just see
171
00:07:40,546 --> 00:07:44,028
how enthusiastically
the students would react
172
00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:46,334
to just a little glimpse
of the old you,
173
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:47,945
I know you would
change your mind.
174
00:07:47,988 --> 00:07:49,163
I'm not changing my mind.
175
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,384
Okay, but we still
need you to succeed.
176
00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:54,081
We are paying you
a lot of money.
177
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,474
You're paying me almost nothing.
178
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,520
Which is a lot of money
in academia.
179
00:07:58,738 --> 00:08:00,566
It is all about the numbers.
180
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,133
And if you do not bring more
students into this department,
181
00:08:02,176 --> 00:08:03,569
well, then the numbers
are not good.
182
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,005
What do you suggest?
183
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,313
Uh, well,
this is a new career for you,
184
00:08:08,356 --> 00:08:10,533
so maybe you would benefit
from some seasoned help.
185
00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:13,710
-That sounds reasonable.
-That's perceptive.
-Mm-hmm.
186
00:08:13,753 --> 00:08:15,581
So, until you get your sea legs,
187
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,235
why don't you co-teach
your classes with Alan?
188
00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,889
-Well, that's ridiculous.
-What is wrong with you?
189
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,847
My goodness.
190
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,154
Alan is-is lazy.
191
00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:25,025
He doesn't even finish
anything he starts.
192
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,897
And Frasier is...
193
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,202
Eh.
194
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,210
What do you say, Alan--
is it worth a try?
195
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,864
Well...
196
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:40,345
Please, Alan,
help me help Dr. Crane help
197
00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:43,043
the next generation of people
who will help other people.
198
00:08:44,479 --> 00:08:46,699
Sounds like a Ponzi scheme
of benevolence.
199
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,223
Are you really saying
200
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,835
I should take on extra work
without extra pay?
201
00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:54,533
I am saying that you should help
your oldest and dearest friend.
202
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:57,188
Without extra pay.
203
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,800
You can bring your cat
back to the office.
204
00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,934
Fine, I'll do it.
205
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,588
Anything for a dear friend.
206
00:09:05,631 --> 00:09:07,851
You're talking about your cat?
207
00:09:07,894 --> 00:09:10,157
Well, who do you think
I was talking about?
208
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,338
You in a hurry to get home
to get your cat?
209
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,602
No, no, that would be silly.
210
00:09:19,645 --> 00:09:20,777
Frasier Crane,
211
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,692
meet Margaret Scratcher.
212
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,828
Now, if I may,
213
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,657
what's so offensive
about being a dancing bear?
214
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:35,226
You're a natural showman.
Why not use that talent?
215
00:09:35,269 --> 00:09:36,444
I don't want to be
a showman anymore.
216
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,316
I want to make an impact.
217
00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:40,231
Well, didn't you make an impact
on your television program?
218
00:09:40,274 --> 00:09:41,798
Well, it's debatable.
219
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,713
But then again, you know that.
You saw it.
220
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,282
You did see my show, didn't you?
221
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,675
Of course.
222
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,590
B... Bits and pieces.
223
00:09:52,765 --> 00:09:54,419
I may have missed it.
224
00:09:54,462 --> 00:09:56,508
It was on for 14 years.
225
00:09:56,551 --> 00:09:59,685
Here, let me show you.
226
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:04,821
Perhaps the real reason
you have not yet asked
227
00:10:04,864 --> 00:10:07,650
your daughter to forgive you
228
00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:10,087
is that you have not yet
forgiven yourself.
229
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:25,232
Well, this is all
rather insightful.
230
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,148
That was season one.
231
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,672
Here's a clip from...
232
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:32,849
...season 13.
233
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:35,721
♪ Dr. Crane♪
234
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,115
♪ He can fix your brain♪
235
00:10:38,158 --> 00:10:41,118
♪ Keep from going insane
and take away the pain♪
236
00:10:41,161 --> 00:10:43,598
♪ Yeah, it's Doctor,
Dr. Crane.♪
237
00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:45,644
Oh, Doctor!
238
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,224
How about that audience,
huh, Gilbert?
239
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:02,705
Lovely, lovely, lovely!
240
00:11:02,748 --> 00:11:04,750
Welcome!
241
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,796
Today on our show,
I will be delving
242
00:11:06,839 --> 00:11:10,190
into the mind of the world's
smartest pig,
243
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,105
Albert Swinestein!
244
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,761
Then, we'll unveil this week's
245
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:19,069
Frasier's Fra-vorite Things.
246
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,289
And Tom Arnold is here!
247
00:11:25,553 --> 00:11:27,860
But first, let's put on...
248
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:30,863
...our thinking caps.
249
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,654
I see now why you may have felt
250
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,874
that you'd lost your way.
251
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,397
At one point...
252
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,660
...I hawked a tinted moisturizer
253
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:48,315
with the tagline...
254
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,013
"I'm glistening."
255
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,191
And that's why I quit.
256
00:11:54,234 --> 00:11:57,281
My show had devolved
into meaningless fluff.
257
00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,370
My greatest nightmare is that
258
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:01,285
that will be my whole legacy.
259
00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:04,810
Are you sure this isn't less
about how people will see you
260
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,073
and more about
how you see yourself?
261
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,336
Don't you diagnose me
with your projection.
262
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,295
It's merely a suggestion
of projection.
263
00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:13,514
I have an objection
to your projection suggestion.
264
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:16,082
And I question your rejection
of my projection suggestion.
265
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,695
But if you're intent on
avoiding the razzle-dazzle,
266
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:23,394
then we'll have to win over
your class with substance.
267
00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:26,919
And I think I know the very
substance we should start with.
268
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,269
Substance-- you're talking
about a drink, aren't you?
269
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,402
Oh, you mean a book.
270
00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:33,621
How about that?
271
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,362
Ah, I was right the first time.
272
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,153
Oh, hi. How are you feeling
about your second class?
273
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,111
Better.
Alan and I dug deep last night
274
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,896
and came up with some things
I think you're really...
275
00:12:46,939 --> 00:12:50,073
That's fantastic.
Uh, so I sent Alan in already
276
00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:51,944
and, you know,
I hope it's okay--
277
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,598
I futzed with the lighting
a little bit
278
00:12:53,641 --> 00:12:55,643
and I made a few other
little changes
279
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,558
just to help you feel more
at home. You'll barely notice.
280
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,212
Thank you. You're really
taking good care of me.
281
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,214
Anything for my
"fra-vorite" teacher.
282
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:04,870
Did you say "fra-vorite"?
283
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,524
No.
284
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,831
Oh, just one more thing.
285
00:13:08,874 --> 00:13:10,876
These doors are broken
or whatever.
286
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,401
If you wouldn't mind
using the, uh, top entrance,
287
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,838
just going around?
288
00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:17,274
Okay.
289
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,458
♪ Dr. Crane,
he can fix your brain♪
290
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:29,677
♪ Keep from going insane...♪
291
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,636
It's my greatest nightmare!
292
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,507
Oh, Doctor!
293
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,080
Dr. Crane, where are you going?
You have class.
294
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,603
Well, that makes one of us.
295
00:13:44,518 --> 00:13:46,433
You tricked me.
296
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:49,045
No. No, no, no, no.
I tricked you and Alan.
297
00:13:49,088 --> 00:13:52,048
He had no idea
I had that planned.
298
00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:53,701
And I was hoping that
once you saw how excited
299
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:56,052
the students were,
you would embrace the old you.
300
00:13:56,095 --> 00:13:58,532
You want the dancing bear,
don't you?
301
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:01,187
No. What I want is a healthy
learning environment
302
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,710
-for my...
-You want the dancing bear!
303
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,321
Of course I want
the dancing bear!
304
00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:06,497
Why do you think I hired you--
305
00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:08,368
for your negligible
teaching experience?
306
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,762
For the zero academic papers
that you've written?
307
00:14:10,805 --> 00:14:12,285
No.
308
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,244
Because you are a big,
beautiful dancing bear
309
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,464
in a pink tutu that the students
will actually pay attention to.
310
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,380
That is why you are here.
311
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,730
So dance, bear, dance!
312
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,777
I refuse!
313
00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:27,431
I walked out of this job once
before and I'll do it again!
314
00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:29,433
Oh, no, Dr. Crane,
please, please.
315
00:14:29,476 --> 00:14:30,913
I put myself
on the line for you.
316
00:14:30,956 --> 00:14:32,740
The numbers are bad.
If you quit now,
317
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,525
well, the numbers--
they're going to get worse.
318
00:14:34,568 --> 00:14:36,701
What are these numbers
you keep talking about?
319
00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,225
They're numbers.
And they're bad.
320
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,184
This is Harvard!
321
00:14:41,227 --> 00:14:43,273
-For God's sake,
Harvard's endowment alone
-You see, the big numbers
322
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,752
-could power a small country
-are little
and the little numbers
323
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:45,797
-for centuries!
-should be big... Okay,
324
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:46,711
it's not about the numbers,
325
00:14:46,754 --> 00:14:47,407
it's about my sister!
326
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,279
All my life,
327
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,411
she's been just
a little more popular,
328
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,847
a little more successful.
329
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:56,112
I don't know
if-if you've ever dealt
330
00:14:56,155 --> 00:14:58,288
with a-a sibling
with whom you have
331
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,552
a very intense
and competitive relationship.
332
00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:09,212
I am familiar with the dynamic.
333
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,215
I need your star power
334
00:15:12,258 --> 00:15:14,869
to finally beat my sister.
335
00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:17,698
She just made provost at Yale.
Yale,
336
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:20,963
-Frasier, Yale!
-Don't you "Yale" at me!
337
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,099
Okay, one more time.
338
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:29,275
Can we take a break?
I'm exhausted.
339
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,016
The last time I pushed
myself this hard,
340
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,713
John popped out.
341
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,715
You got to use it, okay?
342
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,195
Y-You're supposed to be
at the end of your rope
343
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,501
in this scene, right?
You got-you got to sound
344
00:15:37,544 --> 00:15:39,938
beaten down, pathetic,
345
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,679
self-pitying, like no one
346
00:15:41,722 --> 00:15:44,377
on the face of the planet
believes in you.
347
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,726
Do you have an example?
348
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,781
Am I...
349
00:15:56,824 --> 00:15:59,523
destined to be a failure?
350
00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:03,092
One by one,
they've attached strings
351
00:16:03,135 --> 00:16:05,833
to my wrists and to my knees.
352
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,445
I've been turned into a puppet.
353
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,056
To dance at their behest.
354
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,797
And once I've outlived
my usefulness,
355
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,581
it's back in the box I go.
356
00:16:16,757 --> 00:16:20,065
Yeah.
So, that, but likable.
357
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,414
I don't know.
I feel like the energy
358
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,808
needs to be quirky and angrier.
359
00:16:23,851 --> 00:16:25,070
What?
What would that even look like?
360
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:28,639
My ire is peaked.
361
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,252
They booby-trapped you
in your own charisma.
362
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:37,082
How dare they debase you
by forcing you to do
363
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:41,086
the very thing you did
by choice for 15 years?
364
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,045
I'm sorry, what is this about?
365
00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:44,263
-Allow me.
-Sit down, David.
366
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,569
Okay.
367
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:50,922
Things aren't working out
at Harvard.
368
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,184
I'm thinking of leaving.
369
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:54,839
Wow.
370
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:57,798
Really?
371
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,626
Oh, sorry, Dad,
372
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:02,107
just so I have this
100% crystal clear--
373
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:05,023
you're thinking
of dropping out...
374
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,466
...of Harvard?
375
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,729
I...
Dad,
376
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,603
do you think you gave Harvard
enough of a chance?
377
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,954
You're just so bright, Dad.
I...
378
00:17:22,997 --> 00:17:25,738
I'd hate to see you waste
that kind of potential.
379
00:17:27,305 --> 00:17:29,526
Are you having trouble
making friends?
380
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,051
Tell you what--
why not take a gap year?
381
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,531
You know,
take a little time to...
382
00:17:34,574 --> 00:17:36,228
to think things over,
'cause, you know,
383
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:37,621
I'm just worried about
384
00:17:37,664 --> 00:17:38,839
how this is gonna affect
385
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:41,668
the rest of your life.
386
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:44,062
What am I supposed
to tell my friends?!
387
00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:50,373
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
388
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:54,507
Are you high on drugs?
389
00:17:58,337 --> 00:18:01,123
Very funny.
Very droll.
390
00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:04,038
You quite finished?
391
00:18:04,082 --> 00:18:05,866
No, Dad, I'm just kidding.
392
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,868
No one gets it more than I do.
Harvard's not for everyone.
393
00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:10,697
-It's-it's okay to give up.
-I'm not giving up.
394
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:13,396
-No, I'm just saying there's
no shame in being a quitter.
-I'm not a quitter.
395
00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:17,139
Well, you quit your radio show,
you quit your TV show.
396
00:18:17,182 --> 00:18:18,792
Didn't you and Uncle Niles
once have a restaurant
397
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,925
you quit after, like, one day?
398
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,538
I'm not quitting, I just...
399
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,105
I can't seem to figure out
400
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,368
how to get my students
to take me seriously.
401
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,936
You know, the character
I'm auditioning for--
402
00:18:31,979 --> 00:18:34,112
nobody takes her
seriously, either.
403
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,722
Nobody except for Julius,
404
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:38,421
the partially-blind
night shift custodian.
405
00:18:38,464 --> 00:18:40,640
And the way he talks about her
406
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,730
allows others to see her
for the leader that she is,
407
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:47,169
right up until he falls into
the industrial meat grinder.
408
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,695
So...
409
00:18:51,738 --> 00:18:55,089
if I could find my Julius--
410
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,961
one student with whom
I could engage
411
00:18:57,004 --> 00:18:58,267
in an inspiring conversation
412
00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:59,659
and thereby win over
the entire class.
413
00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:04,142
And I bet I know
just the Julius I need.
414
00:19:05,491 --> 00:19:08,233
I bet you do.
415
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:15,240
After that brief
hiccup yesterday,
416
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,764
I think it's time
we got back on track.
417
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,766
Uh, but first,
does anyone have a question?
418
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,290
I have a question.
419
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,422
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
420
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:25,685
Ah, yes, the young lady
in the back there.
421
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:28,297
Yes, I have prepared a question
for you, Dr. Crane.
422
00:19:29,428 --> 00:19:32,083
Oh, wonderful.
Well, I'm excited to hear that.
423
00:19:32,126 --> 00:19:34,216
I'm your helper.
424
00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:36,740
I'm... I'm your...
I'm your Sancho Panza.
425
00:19:36,783 --> 00:19:39,569
It's about Hermann Ebbinghaus.
426
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,528
Oh, yes, Ebbinghaus.
Oh, very interesting.
427
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:45,531
You planned this without me.
You totally went over my head.
428
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,491
Yes, and as a serious academic,
429
00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:51,015
could you tell me
what his whole deal was?
430
00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:53,539
And, please,
no gimmicky showmanship.
431
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:57,239
Uh, excuse me... ma'am.
432
00:19:57,282 --> 00:19:59,589
Ma'am?
I'm not a ma'am.
433
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,940
I'm a miss.
I'm a young, co-ed miss.
434
00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:04,420
Well, I'm convinced.
435
00:20:04,463 --> 00:20:07,553
Really? 'Cause you look like
an old mom.
436
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:10,208
If I look old, it's because
somebody made me wear
437
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,992
this stupid turtleneck.
438
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,994
Oh, now,
as Ebbinghaus once said...
439
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,692
Nobody is buying
440
00:20:15,735 --> 00:20:18,347
-this little act.
-Oh, yeah? Show of hands--
441
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,044
who thinks I'm a student?
442
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,309
Oh... Well, she-she's not.
443
00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:27,312
She's just a wannabe actress
who stole my moment.
444
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,140
Wannabe?
445
00:20:29,183 --> 00:20:31,490
I have these dweebs
eating out of my hand.
446
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,318
You took advantage of him,
didn't you?
447
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:36,365
You took advantage
of this poor, gullible buffoon.
448
00:20:36,408 --> 00:20:40,151
Or maybe I'm here because
he knew that you couldn't do it.
449
00:20:40,194 --> 00:20:41,805
Well, go find your own uncle,
450
00:20:41,848 --> 00:20:44,198
'cause this one's mine!
451
00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:46,331
Fight, fight, fight, fight,
452
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:47,898
-fight, fight, fight,
-All right, all right.
453
00:20:47,941 --> 00:20:49,334
-fight, fight, fight...
-Everyone, calm down.
454
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,205
She's only here
because my uncle pays
455
00:20:51,249 --> 00:20:53,077
for an apartment
for her and her baby.
456
00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:55,949
All right, stop, stop!
457
00:20:57,821 --> 00:20:58,865
Everyone.
458
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,173
I think it's time...
459
00:21:02,216 --> 00:21:05,350
we put on our
460
00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:07,309
-thinking caps.
-Thinking caps!
461
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,585
Sounds like
your class went well.
462
00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:25,805
I was teaching next door
and the applause woke me up.
463
00:21:28,373 --> 00:21:29,809
Yes.
464
00:21:29,853 --> 00:21:31,985
I had them eating
out of the palm of my hand.
465
00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,554
Did manage to squeeze in
466
00:21:35,598 --> 00:21:37,600
20 minutes about
Hermann Ebbinghaus
467
00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:40,254
because of this silly hat,
468
00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:41,734
and a story I told them about
469
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,650
Albert Swinestein's
quiz show scandal.
470
00:21:44,694 --> 00:21:46,696
So, why do you look so glum?
471
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,873
Because this wasn't
who I wanted to be.
472
00:21:49,916 --> 00:21:51,962
Thirty years ago...
473
00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:54,660
I left Boston
with my tail between my legs.
474
00:21:55,922 --> 00:21:59,230
I had dreams
of returning, triumphant.
475
00:21:59,273 --> 00:22:01,058
Now those dreams
just keep slipping
476
00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:02,538
farther and farther away.
477
00:22:03,887 --> 00:22:05,497
It's a rather fetching hat.
478
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,238
May I have a look?
479
00:22:08,892 --> 00:22:10,459
Ow!
480
00:22:10,502 --> 00:22:11,677
What was that for?
481
00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:13,984
For being a baby.
482
00:22:14,027 --> 00:22:17,074
You're rich, you're famous,
your students love you.
483
00:22:17,117 --> 00:22:20,077
For some reason, you smell
naturally of sandalwood.
484
00:22:21,121 --> 00:22:22,601
What more
could you possibly want?
485
00:22:22,645 --> 00:22:24,298
I wanted to make an impact.
486
00:22:24,342 --> 00:22:26,475
Wanted to realize
the potential I had
487
00:22:26,518 --> 00:22:28,564
when I set out on this
career path 40 years ago.
488
00:22:29,652 --> 00:22:31,480
I see.
489
00:22:31,523 --> 00:22:34,787
That's a rather fetching belt.
Do you mind if I have a look?
490
00:22:36,223 --> 00:22:37,964
Am I being that ridiculous?
491
00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:40,271
You got 18-year-olds
to listen to a lecture
492
00:22:40,314 --> 00:22:42,882
about Ebbinghaus for 20 minutes,
493
00:22:42,926 --> 00:22:45,711
and all it took was a silly hat
and a story about a pig.
494
00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:47,626
Which, by the way,
I have to hear.
495
00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:51,630
♪ Dr. Crane.♪
496
00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:53,589
Oh, it was marvelous!
497
00:22:53,632 --> 00:22:55,721
The students were raving.
You're a hit.
498
00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:59,725
Yes, Frasier was just
complaining about being beloved.
499
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,598
Do you mind if
I take a look at this hat?
500
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,992
Hmm.
501
00:23:06,036 --> 00:23:08,517
I have a little bit
of a confession.
502
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,432
This thinking cap
wasn't shipped overnight.
503
00:23:10,475 --> 00:23:13,435
I bought it years ago when
I came to see your show live.
504
00:23:13,478 --> 00:23:16,307
You were a fan of the show?
505
00:23:16,350 --> 00:23:18,483
-Mm-hmm.
-You-you didn't mention that.
506
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:21,094
It's a little bit
embarrassing, but
507
00:23:21,138 --> 00:23:24,576
I even ran my local chapter
of the Frasier Crane Fan Club.
508
00:23:25,577 --> 00:23:27,318
You were a Craniac?
509
00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:35,239
Watching you lift up
and educate your viewers--
510
00:23:35,282 --> 00:23:37,676
that's why I decided
to get my PhD.
511
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,810
So, my show
actually inspired you,
512
00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:42,289
despite all
the meaningless fluff?
513
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:45,162
Because
of the meaningless fluff.
514
00:23:45,205 --> 00:23:47,512
Well, that's what pulled me in
at first, anyway.
515
00:23:47,556 --> 00:23:50,515
Thank God, because otherwise,
who knows where I would be?
516
00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:52,952
Probably a head of department
517
00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:56,042
at some backwater
community college.
518
00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,740
Cornell.
519
00:24:01,961 --> 00:24:04,747
You know, maybe there's
nothing wrong
520
00:24:04,790 --> 00:24:08,185
with a little razzle-dazzle.
521
00:24:08,228 --> 00:24:10,404
Just take that old
negative self-talk and...
522
00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:11,667
hiyah!
523
00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:16,193
Thank you.
524
00:24:16,236 --> 00:24:17,890
Thank you both.
525
00:24:17,934 --> 00:24:19,196
Mostly Olivia.
526
00:24:22,591 --> 00:24:25,681
This thinking cap of yours--
didn't I see it in your office
527
00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:27,552
with a price tag on it
last week?
528
00:24:27,596 --> 00:24:29,772
Oh, I may have embellished
529
00:24:29,815 --> 00:24:31,904
to get a very
sincere point across.
530
00:24:31,948 --> 00:24:34,211
Well done.
531
00:24:34,254 --> 00:24:35,734
Oh, and, uh,
532
00:24:35,778 --> 00:24:38,128
well done also on that, uh,
533
00:24:38,171 --> 00:24:40,217
pathetic Craniac thing
you made up.
534
00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:41,914
Mm-hmm.
535
00:24:44,003 --> 00:24:46,092
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why were you in my office?
536
00:24:46,136 --> 00:24:49,095
Oh, looking for the cat.
By the way,
537
00:24:49,139 --> 00:24:52,969
your desktop Zen garden's
been compromised.
538
00:24:53,012 --> 00:24:54,840
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
539
00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:03,545
Y'all know how this goes.
540
00:25:05,503 --> 00:25:07,157
♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-callin'♪
541
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,639
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs♪
542
00:25:12,379 --> 00:25:14,904
♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused♪
543
00:25:14,947 --> 00:25:17,515
Yeah, maybe.
But I got you pegged.
544
00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,650
♪ But I don't know what to do♪
545
00:25:21,693 --> 00:25:25,697
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs♪
546
00:25:27,656 --> 00:25:29,832
♪ Life's callin' again.♪
547
00:25:32,051 --> 00:25:33,749
Back in Beantown.
548
00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:34,793
What is a boy to do?
40659
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