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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:05,710 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:06,790 --> 00:00:08,170 Douglas, mind if I snag 3 00:00:08,210 --> 00:00:11,050 one of more challenging sections? 4 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,470 Go ahead. 5 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,610 Okay, you gonna read the paper, 6 00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:32,530 or are you gonna strangle someone? 7 00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:36,410 The cheap ink they use makes my fingers black. 8 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,460 Okay. Thanks for wettin' down page 1. 9 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,210 By the way, you got a phone call before. 10 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:54,090 Some guy Irv from the senior center. 11 00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:55,590 He wanted to know if you could, uh, 12 00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:57,720 fill in for him at the front desk next week. 13 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:02,220 Me? I haven't held a position of authority in years. 14 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:05,100 No, I'm afraid I can't do it. 15 00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:08,480 Or could I? 16 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,820 The will is there, but do I have the stamina? 17 00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:14,820 Damn it, if Irv needs me, 18 00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:15,900 I can't let him down! 19 00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,610 I'll do it. 20 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:21,240 Couldn't care less. 21 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,830 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 22 00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:51,520 Let's light this candle. 23 00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:58,530 Josephine, can I see you for a minute? 24 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,620 Have a seat. 25 00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:08,870 As you know, I'm taking over the reins from Irv. 26 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,210 I think we should discuss what I expect from you. 27 00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:16,840 Who are you again? 28 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,180 I'm the guy who's gonna make this 29 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:23,140 the best-run senior center in the city. 30 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,760 That's who. 31 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:30,270 Now, what's on my calendar? 32 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:31,480 Well, uh, let's see. 33 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:32,860 Oh! Oh, yes. 34 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:35,030 You know the pudding we have on Wednesdays? 35 00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:39,490 Well, the salesman's coming tomorrow to pick up his check. 36 00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:41,870 -Pudding salesman, huh? -Mm-hmm. 37 00:02:41,910 --> 00:02:45,830 Find out everything you can about this guy... 38 00:02:45,870 --> 00:02:48,710 what he likes, what he hates. 39 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:52,080 If he takes a crap, I wanna know about it. 40 00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:00,550 DEACON: Hey, what's up, fellas? 41 00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:01,930 -Hey. -Hey. 42 00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:03,260 Nice jacket there, pimp daddy. 43 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,220 Hey. A little gift from Kelly 44 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,390 for no reason at all. It's not my birthday. 45 00:03:07,430 --> 00:03:09,020 Just out of the blue. 46 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:11,310 Wife's clearly having an affair. 47 00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:13,690 Ahem. 48 00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:15,610 Oh, my God. 49 00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,480 What's the matter? 50 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,650 Sunday Times. 51 00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:22,280 Wedding announcements. 52 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,780 Oh. 53 00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:26,530 "Mr. and Mrs. Hugo Battaglia of Queens, New York, 54 00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:27,910 announce the upcoming marriage 55 00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:30,580 of their daughter Denise Ruth Battaglia..." 56 00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:31,670 [WHIMPERS] 57 00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:33,920 "To Scott John Van Wagner, 58 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,420 son of James and Arlene Van Wagner of Memphis, Tennessee. 59 00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,010 The wedding will take place at 60 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:43,260 Greater Mount Morris first Presbyterian Church in Memphis." 61 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,930 I--I can't believe it. 62 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:46,760 We--we broke up, like, 3 months ago, 63 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,890 and now she's already getting married? 64 00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:52,690 Well, maybe it's a different Denise Ruth Battaglia... 65 00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:54,100 of Queens. 66 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,610 No. No, it's her. 67 00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:57,110 It--it-- 68 00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,230 look--look at this guy she's marrying. 69 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,150 Look at this loser! Look! 70 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:07,410 Lot of stripes. What is he, a general? 71 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,330 So, bro, what do you feel like doing? 72 00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:15,460 [WHIMPERS] 73 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,800 What's that? Strip club? 74 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:22,050 Just take me home. 75 00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:23,550 Fine. 76 00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:25,140 Look, Spence... 77 00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:27,220 I know you're gonna find somebody just as good as Denise, 78 00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:28,350 if not better. 79 00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,220 Oh, yeah? Right. 80 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,890 Do you really think I'm gonna find a woman 81 00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:35,810 who's as into avant-garde film as I am or folk dancing 82 00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:40,440 or is a ninth-level player in Magic: The Gathering? 83 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,400 Absolutely. 84 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,820 No, I blew it. 85 00:04:45,860 --> 00:04:48,830 I--I should have fought for her. 86 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:51,660 I should have grabbed her by those incredible shoulders 87 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:56,290 and said, "I love you, and I know you love me." 88 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,750 But did I do that? No. 89 00:04:57,790 --> 00:05:00,840 You know why? Same reason I'm selling tokens on the subway 90 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,050 instead of driving the train. 91 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:04,760 I thought you failed the psych test. 92 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,090 You didn't see that inkblot! 93 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,680 The bottom line is everything would be different 94 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,850 if I'd just taken a stand! 95 00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:15,270 Well, maybe it's not too late. 96 00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:16,350 What do you mean? 97 00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:18,060 To tell Denise what you just told us. 98 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,900 But she's getting married in Memphis tomorrow. 99 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:25,030 I mean, even if I wanted to, I couldn't make it there in time. 100 00:05:25,070 --> 00:05:29,070 You could if we start driving right now. 101 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,280 Really? 102 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,660 Hey, Kelly and the kids are at her mom's. 103 00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:34,540 I got no place else to be. I'm in. 104 00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:35,790 You really think we can do this? 105 00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:37,330 If we're gonna go on an extended trip, 106 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,750 I'm gonna have to stop and get my bite plate. 107 00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:42,550 But what--what if I'm wrong, though? 108 00:05:42,590 --> 00:05:43,880 What if she doesn't love me back? 109 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,260 Well, maybe she does, and maybe she doesn't. 110 00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:46,760 There's only one way to find out. 111 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,050 Because if I sleep without that thing, 112 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:51,140 my jaw snaps shut like a bear trap. 113 00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,220 I don't know. 114 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:53,520 Spence, look, you got a chance here, 115 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,680 and you gotta go for it. 116 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,100 If you--if you don't go for it, 117 00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:58,810 you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. 118 00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:02,730 So where am I steering this car? 119 00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:03,900 Memphis, Tennessee. 120 00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:05,240 -That's what I'm talking about! -Yeah! 121 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,570 -Yeah! -Memphis! 122 00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:09,490 -*Tennessee, oww* -M-M-M-Memphis. 123 00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:10,620 Hey, hey, what about Carrie? 124 00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,370 What about Car- what about Carrie? 125 00:06:12,410 --> 00:06:14,790 Here's about Carrie, okay? 126 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,210 Hey, babe. It's me. 127 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,580 Look, don't wait up, 'cause I'm gonna be driving 128 00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:25,510 to Memphis to stop a wedding. 129 00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:28,090 Denise. Yeah. 130 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,970 Spence's old girlfriend. 131 00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:33,720 No, it's not stupid. 132 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,930 W-why can't I? 133 00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:37,640 I know I said we'd go food shopping. 134 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,020 Look, all I want is Pop-Tarts. 135 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:44,270 Please, okay? I already told him I would do this thing, okay? 136 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,940 I'm--you know what? I'm doing it. I'm doing it. 137 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,150 She's cool. She's very cool. 138 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,990 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 139 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,990 Okay, she checked in last night? 140 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,200 Okay, great, thanks. 141 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,750 Okay, I got it. Denise is staying 142 00:06:57,790 --> 00:07:00,580 at the West Memphis Econo-Lodge. 143 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,540 Fancy. 144 00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:04,500 Well, in about 10 hours, 145 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:05,960 she's gonna open her door 146 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,130 to find me standing there, holding a single red rose, 147 00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:11,260 and saying, "Excuse me, miss, 148 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,970 I think I left my love in here." 149 00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,510 -All right. -Thanks. 150 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,350 [LAUGHS] Yeah. 151 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,730 In case I didn't say it, thanks for this. 152 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,440 What, man? That's what friends do. 153 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:22,690 You guys are great. 154 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:25,150 -Right back atcha. -Yeah. 155 00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:27,610 I'm glad you're in my life. 156 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:31,990 Okay, love scene over. 157 00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:33,740 We're coming up on I-70. 158 00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:35,120 Oh, great! 159 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,790 Uh, take that west to I-64, 160 00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,830 hook up with the I-40, 161 00:07:40,870 --> 00:07:42,040 and then straight through Bartlett 162 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,250 and on into Memphis. 163 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:45,420 [CHUCKLES] 164 00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:48,380 Oh, Deac, doesn't your dad live in Bartlett? 165 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:49,920 Uh-huh. 166 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,010 No reason we can't stop in on the way back. 167 00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:53,260 That's okay. 168 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,430 [WHIMPERS] 169 00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:56,390 No, I mean, it's silly. It's on the way. 170 00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:57,850 I said no. 171 00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:01,770 What part of nnnn-nn didn't you understand? 172 00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:03,400 Sorry. 173 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,650 Hey, is it me, or... 174 00:08:05,690 --> 00:08:08,650 those cows getting anybody else hungry, huh? 175 00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:10,900 I could eat. 176 00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,820 You know what? Why don't you wake Danny up? 177 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,570 Oh, he's asleep? 178 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:17,030 He's not supposed to sleep without his bite plate. 179 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,580 Hey, Danny, we're gonna get some food. 180 00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,700 Danny! 181 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:21,830 Oh. 182 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:23,580 Hey, guys. 183 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,250 [YAWNING] God! 184 00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:33,550 What's going on? 185 00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:35,470 [MUMBLING] I need $600. 186 00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,590 What? 187 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,760 I need $600. Ow! 188 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,270 Can you give the guy a credit card? 189 00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:44,230 He won't take one. He wants cash. 190 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,060 What? 191 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,730 He wants cash! 192 00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:47,770 Ow! 193 00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,190 It hurts to talk. 194 00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:52,400 -What? -It hurts when I talk! 195 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,030 Can we just pay the guy and get out of here? 196 00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:58,120 Look, I've got $100. 197 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:00,660 I got, like, 80. 198 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,080 Uh, I got, like, 50. 199 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,960 I don't have anything. 200 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,500 Well, my wallet's at home on my dresser 201 00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:09,210 next to my bite plate. 202 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:12,210 We're still way short. What are we gonna do? 203 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,610 I don't think this thing fits right. 204 00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:32,440 Yeah, well, it cost me a leather jacket, 205 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,280 so I'm gonna need you to make it fit. 206 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,610 Look at that, Cachingo Indian Casino. 207 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,070 Oh, yeah? 208 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,530 We need cash, and you can get a crapload of money 209 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,120 with just your credit card at those places. 210 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,250 Okay, but guys, it's 22 miles out of the way. 211 00:09:44,290 --> 00:09:45,500 We're not gonna make it to the hotel 212 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:47,580 before Denise leaves for the wedding. 213 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,630 You want to stop a wedding, you do it at the church. 214 00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,130 Everybody knows that. 215 00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:53,920 I still say we keep going. 216 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,970 Whoa, she's turning. What's happening? 217 00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:56,970 What are you doing? 218 00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,260 It's not me. It's the car. 219 00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,640 She's taking us there. 220 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:02,350 She does this with Krispy Kreme, too. 221 00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:05,060 Just go in and get money. No gambling, okay? 222 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,690 -Absolutely not. -No gamble. 223 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:16,030 Shutty. 224 00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:19,660 [BEEP] 225 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:20,910 It's still declined, ma'am. 226 00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:23,990 What? 227 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,040 [BEEP] 228 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,660 [BEEPING] 229 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,830 Sorry. 230 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:30,540 I don't believe this. 231 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:34,840 Do I have to put this stuff back or... 232 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,010 -Yeah. -Okay. All right. 233 00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:38,720 Excuse me. Thank you. 234 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,050 I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 235 00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:51,440 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 236 00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:54,400 Hi, Irv. Got my check? 237 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:55,610 Irv's not here. 238 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,110 The name's Arthur Spooner. 239 00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,530 And you are? 240 00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,820 Oh. Uh, Steve Gitt. I'm with Royale Pudding. 241 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,700 Oh, I know all about you, Mr. Gitt. 242 00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,620 How you like to prey on the elderly 243 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:09,210 and their weakness for creamy desserts. 244 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,750 Well, news flash, mister. 245 00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:16,420 Your days of price gouging are about to end. 246 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:20,300 Um, what we charge is right in line with the other companies. 247 00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:21,890 I don't want some price cooked up 248 00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:25,470 in the smoke-filled rooms of your pudding cartel. 249 00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:27,720 I want real value. 250 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,890 Now, I'm going to write down a number, 251 00:11:29,930 --> 00:11:34,150 and that's what we're going to pay from now on. 252 00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:38,940 Where's a pen? 253 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,030 You can use mine. 254 00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,820 Thank you. 255 00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:46,030 What's this, your company logo? 256 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,290 Uh-hmm. 257 00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:51,000 Mmm, it's quite a handsome pen. 258 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,880 You can keep it if you want. 259 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,420 You mean that? 260 00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:58,170 Sure. 261 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,720 Nicely played, Mr. Gitt. 262 00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,310 How are we doing on time? 263 00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:08,640 You don't have to worry, Spence. 264 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,230 We'll get you to your precious wedding. 265 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:11,810 Hey, look, take it easy on him. 266 00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,690 You know, thanks, but I think I had enough of your advice 267 00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:14,770 back at that blackjack table. 268 00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:15,940 What's that supposed to mean? 269 00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:17,440 "Oh, you gotta split those 8s." 270 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,230 You always split 8s. That's what the book says. 271 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,990 What book is that,The Secrets of Losing,by I.B. Stupid? 272 00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:23,820 He's right. You always split 8s. 273 00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:25,490 Hey! You know what? You didn't help matters, either, 274 00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:27,030 smiling at me like that, Jinxy. 275 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,490 Don't call me jinxy. 276 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,290 You know what? You owe me $200. 277 00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:31,330 You owe me a new leather jacket. 278 00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,580 -Guys... -I don't owe you 279 00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,120 a leather jacket. That's Jinxy's fault! 280 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,500 Don't say that! 281 00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:36,840 -You're just shut up. -You know what? 282 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:37,880 I got a slightly better idea. 283 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,510 Why don'tyou shut up? 284 00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:42,010 You're buying me a jacket. 285 00:12:42,050 --> 00:12:45,590 Okay, don't--don't be touching me. 286 00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:48,180 Touch you all I want. 287 00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:51,220 Don't do that, man! Don't do that, man! 288 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:55,310 Oh! Oh, my God. The announcement flew out! 289 00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:56,560 So? 290 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,230 I don't remember the name of the church. 291 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,240 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 292 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,360 Hello. 293 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,360 Hey, it's me. 294 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:06,530 CARRIE:Oh, hey, Honey. 295 00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:08,030 Where are you guys now? 296 00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,370 I don't know. Buttcrack, Kentucky. 297 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:13,120 Buck Creek. 298 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,120 Anyway, I lost the name of the church 299 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,580 that Denise is getting married in. 300 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,580 Do you have the paper there? 301 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,250 Uh, yeah. I think I do. 302 00:13:19,290 --> 00:13:21,500 Hey, Honey, funny story. 303 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:22,840 I was at the market today. 304 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,760 I had a cart loaded with stuff, 305 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,680 and, uh, they wouldn't take my credit card. 306 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,470 Now, and here's the funny part... 307 00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:31,850 they said it was maxed out 308 00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:36,020 because of a charge at a Cachingo Casino. 309 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:37,900 Really? 310 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:40,360 CARRIE:Did you lose $600? 311 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,610 Only because of Splitsy and Jinxy! 312 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:43,900 What is going on there? 313 00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:45,450 Do you have the name of the church? 314 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:46,740 CARRIE:Yes, I have it. It is... 315 00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:49,160 Greater Mount Morris first Presbyterian. 316 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,240 DOUG: Great. Thank you. 317 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,700 CARRIE: No problem, and by the way, 318 00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:53,660 you do know that you're dead, right? 319 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,620 Oh, sure. 320 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,120 -Got it. -Oh, that's great. 321 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,250 Oh. Now we need gas. We don't have any money. 322 00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:01,710 I have one more credit card, 323 00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:03,590 but I'm only supposed to use it in case of an emergency. 324 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,670 It's got, like, a 30% interest rate. 325 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,930 I think this is an emergency. 326 00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:09,300 [SIGHS] 327 00:14:10,390 --> 00:14:15,100 Hey, we need a fill-up on, uh, pump number 3. 328 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:16,270 Whoa. 329 00:14:16,310 --> 00:14:18,940 We do not accept visa. 330 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:19,940 What? 331 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:22,230 Diner's Club or Sunoco-- either one. 332 00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,780 Is there any place around here that does accept it? 333 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,200 Indian Casino up the road. 334 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,170 Different card. 335 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,170 [BEEP] 336 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,720 -[BEEP] -Declined. 337 00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:52,100 I know the drill. 338 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,350 Pardon me. 339 00:15:01,690 --> 00:15:04,900 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 340 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,160 "Happy Valley Pudding." 341 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,370 You got a nice product, Mr. Lucas. 342 00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:18,290 Thanks. I like it, too. 343 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:21,460 Maybe a bit too much. 344 00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:25,090 I'm just gonna jot down a few notes here with my pen. 345 00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:26,500 Oh, my. 346 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,010 I seem to have inadvertently 347 00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:32,550 grabbed the pen provided to me by Royale Pudding, 348 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:36,350 your fiercest competitor. 349 00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:37,390 This is awkward. 350 00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:38,600 How so? 351 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,480 Well, just that it's quite a nice pen. 352 00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:48,070 It would take a strong man not to be seduced by it. 353 00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:52,160 It's leaking a little ink on your hand there. 354 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,160 Stop being coy, Mr. Lucas. You're a man of the world. 355 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,790 You want a shot at this account, 356 00:15:56,830 --> 00:16:00,250 start batting your eyes and show me your goodies. 357 00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:02,120 What?! 358 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:06,040 Perks! Swag! Start wooing me. 359 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:06,960 Um... 360 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,340 I have a rice pudding sample, 361 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:13,220 but it's been in my car for a few weeks. 362 00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,640 That's it? 363 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,760 Then why the hell are you wasting my valuable time? 364 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,390 You called me. 365 00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,730 At home on a Sunday. 366 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:24,810 You know what, get out. 367 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:26,730 Leave the rice pudding. 368 00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:29,730 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 369 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:32,610 All right, we've just entered Tennessee. 370 00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:33,910 SPENCE: [CHUCKLES] 371 00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:36,410 Governor Phil Bredesen welcomes you. 372 00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:39,330 Hey, Bredeseny! 373 00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:42,790 Oh, God, the yellow light on the fuel gauge just went on. 374 00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:44,870 That's all right. That's just to scare people. 375 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,250 You know, we could've gotten gas 376 00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:49,090 if you guys hadn't gambled away all our money again! 377 00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:51,420 See, that's just pointing out a problem 378 00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:54,180 without offering a solution. 379 00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:57,470 Hey, Deac, um... 380 00:16:57,510 --> 00:16:59,100 you know, your dad lives right on the way. 381 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,020 Couldn't we ask him for the gas money? 382 00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:03,440 [SIGHS] Look, I really don't want to see him. 383 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,110 You know what, Deac? Maybe--maybe he's changed. 384 00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:10,030 Maybe if you told him how you felt, 385 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,070 you know, how he hurt you, 386 00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:15,490 you guys could forge a whole new relationship. 387 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,780 DEACON: That's right, old man. 388 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,870 All I ever wanted was my daddy to tell me that he loved me. 389 00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:23,250 MAN: Well, I'll tell you something, boy. 390 00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:25,580 I don't know for a fact I even am your daddy, 391 00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:27,460 the way your mama catted around. 392 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,920 DEACON [CRYING]: Don't you talk about my mama! 393 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,960 I'll kill ya! 394 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,760 They're getting it all out. That's good. 395 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,840 [DOOR OPENS] 396 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,720 MAN: Yeah, you hightail it, boy. 397 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,180 And don't you ever come back! 398 00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:45,520 [CRYING] Let's go. 399 00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:53,610 So how did you do moolah-wise? 400 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,580 Okay, 2 miles away. How we doing on gas? 401 00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:03,660 W-we're okay. 402 00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:07,170 I been doing a lot of coasting. 403 00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:10,170 Please, God, if you care anything about me, 404 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:14,050 let this car go 2 more miles. 405 00:18:14,090 --> 00:18:17,050 [ENGINE KNOCKS, TURNS OFF] 406 00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:23,260 Okay, big guy not a Spence fan. 407 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,440 Ow! 408 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,520 Ow! 409 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,030 Ow! 410 00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:35,360 [OUT OF BREATH] 411 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,240 I'm comin', baby. 412 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,610 Your knight in shining a-- 413 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,820 [THUDS] 414 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,870 Come on. 415 00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:43,870 I think I sprained my ankle. 416 00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:46,200 Go on without me. 417 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,120 Um... 418 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,750 I don't want to marry Denise. 419 00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:51,670 But I can't walk. 420 00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,920 [PANTING] 421 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,930 [GRUNTING] 422 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,230 [PANTING] 423 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,240 All right, this is it. Go. 424 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,950 Go! 425 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:29,410 Actually, she's probably already married by now, uh... 426 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,920 What say we head back? 427 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:31,960 What?! 428 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,380 Yeah, I changed my mind, 429 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:34,210 but this was fun. 430 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,500 Y-you're doing this. 431 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,760 What if I'm wrong? What if she doesn't love me? 432 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,260 You're still doing it! 433 00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,220 Ow! 434 00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:44,100 Spence, you listen to me. 435 00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:46,180 We went through hell to get you here. 436 00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:47,810 Uh, I mean Danny, 437 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:50,230 he may never eat solid food again. 438 00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:52,480 And I gambled away our mortgage payment. 439 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,060 And now I gotta go home and face a wife 440 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:57,860 who's gonna kick my ass. 441 00:19:57,900 --> 00:20:00,280 And this man--this man is broken. 442 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,400 To get you here he had to learn 443 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,740 that his daddy doesn't love him. 444 00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:04,280 And his momma slept around. 445 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,790 -Might have slept around. -Might have slept around. 446 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,950 Okay, and why did we do it? 447 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,910 I'll tell you why. 448 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,870 'Cause we believe in you. 449 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,250 Okay? So the least you can do 450 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:18,050 is believe in yourself, too. 451 00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:21,720 [PANTING] 452 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,760 Let's stop a wedding. 453 00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:29,470 ...in marriage, the most sacred of institutions. 454 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,850 But first... if there is anyone here 455 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:33,230 who has reason to believe 456 00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:36,480 these two should not be joined in sacred matrimony, 457 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,610 let him speak now or forever hold his peace. 458 00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:43,360 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] 459 00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:45,120 I do! 460 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,200 I love you, Denise Ruth Battaglia! 461 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:52,120 I love you, too, Ted. 462 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,370 I'm so sorry, Scott. 463 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,260 Oh, hi, Spence. 464 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,140 Glad you could come. 465 00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:17,730 Huh! 466 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:31,410 So how's everyone enjoying their after binggo treat? 467 00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:33,710 I thought we were getting pudding? 468 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:36,120 Why are we eating baked beans? 469 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,290 It's a ginger paste. 470 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:40,130 Open your minds, you old buzzards. 471 00:21:43,130 --> 00:21:46,470 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 32349

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