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SINGER: *My eyesare gettin' weary*
2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,170
*My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:09,340
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:12,170
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
5
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:17,470
*But I don't care,'cause all I wanna do*
6
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:23,350
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
7
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,190
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
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00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:30,150
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:35,860
-Hey, man.
-Hey.
10
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,570
What have
you got there?
11
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:38,910
Doughnut.
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00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:40,700
I thought you weren't
eating carbs.
13
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:44,250
I'm now allowing myself
to eat delicious carbs.
14
00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:46,750
Hey, you got a little jelly
right over there.
15
00:00:46,790 --> 00:00:48,960
Yeah. Yeah, there's some
on the other side, too.
16
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,210
Oh. Okay.
17
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,840
Yeah, how'd you get jelly
on the back of your neck?
18
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,760
There was
a bee in the car.
19
00:01:01,970 --> 00:01:04,140
-What's that?
-A Koosh ball.
20
00:01:04,180 --> 00:01:05,520
-Oh.
-Hey, hey, leave it alone, man.
21
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:06,730
This--Doug, give it back
to me. I'm serious.
22
00:01:06,770 --> 00:01:07,980
-Why?
-Stop playing, man.
23
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:09,150
-Why?
-Give--give it to me.
24
00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,270
I said give it to me!
25
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,780
All right, man.
Take it easy.
26
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:13,570
It's just a ball.
27
00:01:13,610 --> 00:01:16,740
Look, my kid gave this to me
for my birthday last night.
28
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:18,070
It was really amazing.
29
00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:20,620
4 years old, he got
the idea all by himself,
30
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:24,080
emptied out his piggy bank,
and bought daddy a present.
31
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,710
Your birthday. Right.
32
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:31,420
Did he mention that was
from both of us or--
33
00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:33,840
Look, I gotta
pick up my route, guy.
34
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,050
I'm serious.
Don't touch my Koosh.
35
00:01:35,090 --> 00:01:36,630
Ooh.
36
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:41,430
Oh, I'm touching it.
37
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:43,810
I'm touching it
all over.
38
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:45,140
-Hey. Hey.
-Heffernan.
39
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:46,980
-Yes, sir?
-You gotta get all the trash out
40
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,230
of your truck by Thursday.
41
00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:49,480
I'm giving you
a head start now,
42
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,320
because I've seen
your taco bell graveyard.
43
00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:55,110
Hoo-hoo!
44
00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:57,450
Um, what's happening
Thursday?
45
00:01:57,490 --> 00:01:59,990
Oh, some big guy coming
from the northeast office
46
00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:02,280
to make sure we keep up
the I.P.S. image,
47
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,580
such as it is.
48
00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:05,580
Anyway,
clean out your truck,
49
00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,790
and no more dumbass
stunts like last month.
50
00:02:07,830 --> 00:02:09,370
DOUG: Don't worry.
You won't even know I'm there.
51
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,580
In fact, if you want,
52
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,540
I could just stay home
that day.
53
00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,390
Haa!
54
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,770
CARRIE: Oh, my God.
Look at this.
55
00:02:28,810 --> 00:02:33,190
"Property of Mr. Kaplan.
Do not touch."
56
00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,980
Didn't the guy just buy
a $12 million house
57
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,400
in the Hamptons?
58
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,450
You think he can throw
the support staff
59
00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:42,370
a squirt of hazelnut,
You know what I'm saying?
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00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:49,370
He's right behind me,
isn't he?
61
00:02:49,410 --> 00:02:51,790
Sorry.
We're just freaked out.
62
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,630
It's been going around
that since the firm
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00:02:53,670 --> 00:02:55,460
didn't do so great
this year,
64
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,300
there's gonna
be some layoffs.
65
00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:58,380
-Really?
-Yeah.
66
00:02:58,420 --> 00:03:00,130
Elaine
who works upstairs said
67
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,550
she heard
the senior partners talking
68
00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:03,470
about getting rid
of the deadwood.
69
00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:05,470
Secretaries
or just lawyers?
70
00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:06,970
Well,
if they fire your boss,
71
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,270
why would they
keep you around?
72
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,860
Who left Mr. Kaplan's
hazelnut out?
73
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,360
-Carrie.
-Yeah?
74
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,610
-Type this up for me, will you?
-Uh, yes. Mr. Pruzan--
75
00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:25,200
You're looking a little fancy
for casual Friday, aren't you?
76
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,870
Okay, a couple things.
Um, they canceled that
77
00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:29,080
a few weeks ago,
78
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,000
and it's Tuesday.
79
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,250
Mr. Pruzan, can I
ask you a question?
80
00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:36,090
I know the firm
is downsizing, and--
81
00:03:36,130 --> 00:03:37,800
-What?!
-Yeah, something about
82
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,760
-getting rid of the deadwood.
-Deadwood?!
83
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,680
Did they say deadwood?
84
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,090
I don't know
what they said exactly.
85
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,220
Carrie, I specifically
need to know
86
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:47,260
if they used the term
"deadwood."
87
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,850
We're in trouble,
aren't we?
88
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:09,950
Why does O'Boyle
have my Koosh?
89
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,500
Does he?
90
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,080
You know, I always thought
he went into our lockers
91
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,130
and took stuff.
I'm serious.
92
00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:18,590
One day my uniform smelled
like he wore it.
93
00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:20,590
What did you do?!
I told you to lay off of it!
94
00:04:20,630 --> 00:04:22,630
But then O'Boyle walked by
and said, "hoo-hoo!"
95
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,340
-and I had to throw it to him.
-Why?!
96
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:25,720
That's catch etiquette.
When someone goes,
97
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,550
"hoo-hoo," you gotta throw
them the ball.
98
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,220
I can't believe it. Just go in
there and get it back!
99
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,270
Not a great time
for that.
100
00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:33,440
-Why?
-'Cause...
101
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,980
you know how last month
as a joke
102
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:36,100
I filled out
that timecard
103
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:39,110
for one
Mr. Foghorn Leghorn?
104
00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:41,940
Yeah.
That was a classic.
105
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,070
Anyway, turns out
the guys in accounting
106
00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:45,450
cut him
quite a few paychecks
107
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:48,780
before they realized
he's a cartoon rooster.
108
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,620
O'Boyle found out and made
some pretty serious threats
109
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:54,750
involving his thermos
and my ass.
110
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,380
Why he'd want to use his own
thermos I don't know...
111
00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:06,380
You're gonna be
wishing for a thermos
112
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:07,470
when I get done with you,
113
00:05:07,510 --> 00:05:08,550
now get in there!
114
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,010
-All right.
-[CELL PHONE RINGS]
115
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,560
-Hello?
-Hey, it's me.
116
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,480
-I'm really upset.
-Everyone's talking
117
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,150
about how theremight be some layoffs,
118
00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:20,730
and I think Pruzan's
119
00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:22,730
might be the oneof the first to go.
120
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,490
-Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-CARRIE: I haven't been able
121
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:26,320
to do any work at allthis morning.
122
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,990
-I'm just sitting here--
-Go!
123
00:05:28,030 --> 00:05:29,450
CARRIE:--feeling nauseous.
124
00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:30,740
He's coming!
125
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,160
Just gonna have
a water/phone break.
126
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,830
Gonna get a little water
and phone.
127
00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:38,170
I gotta go.
128
00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,830
Okay. Love you.
129
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:40,960
Hey, we'll get it!
130
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,250
Come on, man. Don't
worry. We'll get--
131
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:45,170
Hey, that's
the mean finger.
132
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,430
Well, I talked
to the partners.
133
00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:49,550
We really
cleared the air.
134
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:51,220
Apparently
I've decided to move on
135
00:05:51,260 --> 00:05:53,770
and pursue
other interests.
136
00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:55,310
Oh, my God.
137
00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:56,560
Next issue...
138
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,230
are you aware
of the various levels
139
00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,810
of good-bye parties here?
140
00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,860
The people they hate
get a card.
141
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,860
The people they like
get and ice-cream cake.
142
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,950
The people they love
get a full omelet bar.
143
00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:09,110
I want to go out
with the omelet bar, Carrie,
144
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,410
with the man
in the chef's hat.
145
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,870
I wanna see that hat.
146
00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:16,500
Make it happen.
147
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:28,590
Yeah.
148
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,720
You got a minute?
149
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,180
Yes. No, we're all set
for your review.
150
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:36,980
Think you're gonna like
what you see, Mr. Halliburton.
151
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:43,900
Okay, great.
Well, we'll see you then. Yeah.
152
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:47,860
Oh, I'll be so glad when
this douche is out of my life.
153
00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:49,780
-What's up?
-Actually,
154
00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:51,740
I just had to ask you
a question.
155
00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:53,660
-What?
-Uh, about the review,
156
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,120
um, should we
wear shorts that day?
157
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,160
Or go with a little bit
more of a formal look
158
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,420
with the longer--
hoo-hoo!
159
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:02,460
I don't care.
Either one.
160
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,800
I'm just saying, you know,
shorts is one way to go,
161
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,140
but if you go with the--
witchacataa!
162
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,890
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
163
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,770
Hello.
164
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:23,060
Yeah, hey, Lou. Uh-huh.
165
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,440
Hmm.
166
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,980
Ziggatoww!
167
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,070
What?
Bup-bup-bup-bup!
168
00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:35,740
No, tell the I.R.S.
we're not trying to hide
169
00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:38,620
anything from them.
There is no Foghorn Leghorn
170
00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:40,160
who works here.
171
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:44,920
No, it--it was just a bad joke
by one of our moron drivers
172
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,420
who happens to be standing
right here now bothering me.
173
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:49,800
Yeah. All right.
Good-bye.
174
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,090
Well, turns out
the federal government
175
00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:55,720
didn't think your prank
was very funny either.
176
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,060
Oh, and they're
so hilarious?
177
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,270
Would it be possible
178
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:03,650
for you to actually focus
one day here on your job
179
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,980
instead of acting like
a massively overweight
180
00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:07,520
4-year-old?
181
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:10,070
I could certainly try.
182
00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:12,360
-Heffernan.
-Yeah?
183
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,860
Hoo-hoo!
184
00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:16,530
Hmm?
185
00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:18,870
Hoo hoo.
186
00:08:36,260 --> 00:08:39,060
DOUG: Hey, babe.
I just put in 8 fish sticks,
187
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,060
and I could put in more,
so I'm gonna need to know
188
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,730
from you very realistically
189
00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:45,730
if you're gonna want one.
190
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:48,520
'Cause it can't be any of this,
"Can I have a little bite?"
191
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,230
No.
192
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,150
You're in, or you're out.
193
00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:54,320
OK? Don't jerk me around.
194
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,990
-I think it's happening.
-What's happening?
195
00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:58,240
-Should I bang it up to 12?
-CARRIE: No.
196
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,620
I'm talking about
what's going on at work.
197
00:09:02,330 --> 00:09:07,130
Oh, right.
The, uh, big case?
198
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,670
No, you idiot!
I'm talking about
199
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:10,170
that I might get fired!
200
00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:11,960
-What?!
-What do you mean "what"?!
201
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,760
I called you from work
in a panic!
202
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,010
You know I tune you out!
203
00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:18,600
What do you mean
you might get fired?!
204
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,850
Well, they're firing Pruzan
205
00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:21,640
because they realized
he's an idiot
206
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,680
and he isn't anybody's nephew.
207
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,850
And if they fire him,
208
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,310
I don't think there's
a place for me.
209
00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:29,980
I can't believe this.
I told you to dress sluttier!
210
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,360
Thank you, Doug.
Thank you for your support.
211
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,200
What are we gonna do?!
I mean, this is your job!
212
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,990
I mean,
this is half our income!
213
00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:39,320
All right, you know what?
You really suck
214
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,200
at making me feel better,
you know that?!
215
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,950
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
What do you want me to say?
216
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,410
I want you to say that
217
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,540
everything's gonna be
all right.
218
00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:49,790
[MUMBLING]
Everything's...
219
00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,380
gonna be all right.
220
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:55,090
-I don't believe that at all!
-I don't blame you!
221
00:09:56,380 --> 00:10:00,010
I am really scared
about our future.
222
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,520
[MICROWAVE BEEPS]
223
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,230
Awkward
fish stick timing.
224
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:16,150
-Just get 'em.
-No.
225
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:18,410
They're better
if they sit anyway.
226
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:20,780
Come here, would you?
Just come here.
227
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,450
I don't know what the hell's
going on over there,
228
00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:26,000
but they'd be crazy
to let someone like you go.
229
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,160
And if for some reason
they do, well,
230
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,790
we'll figure
something out. Okay?
231
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,000
-Yeah?
-Yes.
232
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,170
Would you put down
the Slurpee straw?
233
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:37,340
All right?
It's gonna be fine.
234
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,880
Well, just in case,
don't do anything
235
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,140
to screw up
your job, okay?
236
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,270
You're doing something to screw
up your job, aren't ya?
237
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:57,900
Hey, hey!
Somebody's day
238
00:10:57,940 --> 00:11:01,200
just got a little more
koosherific.
239
00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:04,530
I don't want any of those.
240
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,490
Let me finish.
241
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,500
I also got you
a water pistol,
242
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,370
an egg full
of glow-in-the-dark goo,
243
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:14,040
and a tiny
Matt Damon book.
244
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,210
How many times
do I have to tell you?
245
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,710
I want the Koosh
my son bought for me.
246
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,260
okay, we get it!
Your kid had $1.60 once.
247
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:20,630
Can we move on?
248
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,220
No! You know what happened
last night?
249
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:25,560
I got home, and the first thing
my son said to me was,
250
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,060
"Where's your
Koosh ball, Daddy?
251
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,560
Don't you love it
anymore?"
252
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,020
I told him
I was having it cleaned.
253
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:32,810
-Nice one.
-No, that was the first time
254
00:11:32,850 --> 00:11:34,150
in my life I ever lied
to my child.
255
00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:35,270
I can't do that again.
256
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,900
Look, O'Boyle's
out with that guy.
257
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,070
We stole the key.
258
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:39,530
You're going in there
like we planned.
259
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:42,110
-Yeah, I--I can't do that.
-Why not?!
260
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,280
Carrie might be
losing her job.
261
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,620
-Really?
-Yeah. And...
262
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:47,370
that would leave us
with only one paycheck,
263
00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:48,790
which is
terrifying enough,
264
00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:50,040
but if I
get caught in there,
265
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,330
we're down
to no paychecks,
266
00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,080
and I
can't live on that.
267
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,540
But--what--
he's not gonna fire you.
268
00:11:56,590 --> 00:12:00,340
He might! He fired Martinez
because he would't say "freedom
fries."
269
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:03,300
All right. You know what?
Just...
270
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:04,470
just give me the key.
271
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:05,930
Give me the key.
I'll go in there.
272
00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:07,140
I can't
do that either.
273
00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:08,560
-What?
-Because I'm the one
274
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,430
who threw him the Koosh
in the first place.
275
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,650
Okay, he'll know I'm involved.
You really need to let this go.
276
00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:14,730
Give me the key.
277
00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:16,690
-No.
-I said give it.
278
00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:19,480
And I said, "no."
279
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,860
Oh, my God!
280
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,150
Left pocket.
281
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,740
Thank you.
282
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,540
[WHISPERING]
Hurry up.
283
00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:37,790
It's not in here.
284
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,960
What?!
285
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,510
It's gone!
286
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,340
You think he wears that?
287
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:52,520
That's pretty sparkly
for a dude.
288
00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:05,610
-Betty, hi.
-Hi, Carrie.
289
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,320
What can we do for you up here?
Oh, I just have a Fed-Ex
290
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,370
-for Mr. Levy.
-Come in.
291
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,870
Mr. Levy, hi.
292
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,040
I'm Carrie Heffernan.
293
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,500
I work for Mr. Pruzan
downstairs.
294
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,670
I have a--
a Fed-Ex for you.
295
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:21,000
Doesn't the mail room
usually bring those around?
296
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,880
Yes. Yes,
they usually do,
297
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,420
but I was
just passing by,
298
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,220
and I saw it sitting there
all by itself,
299
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,550
and it
looked so sad.
300
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:33,270
Ooh! What's that paper clip
doing there? I'll get it.
301
00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:34,730
I gotcha.
302
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,480
Thank you.
303
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:37,690
Oh, one quick question.
304
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:39,520
How's Betty
working out for you?
305
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:40,860
Is she--she working out?
306
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,190
-She's doing fine.
-Yeah? Yeah, she's good.
307
00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:45,200
She's good people,
you know?
308
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,530
But even with all the vacations?
I mean, I just--
309
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:50,530
my philosophy for the people
I work for is "work first,"
310
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,700
you know? And I know
last month she was in Florida,
311
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:56,250
and then, what, 2 weeks ago she
just couldn't bother to show up?
312
00:13:56,290 --> 00:13:58,880
Her gall bladder exploded.
313
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,380
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
314
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,710
Carrie,
I heard about Pruzan,
315
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,220
and if this is your way
of looking for a new job,
316
00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:10,550
I just have to say
this is highly inappropriate.
317
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,720
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
318
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,390
And, frankly, I would hate
for a client to walk in
319
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:20,360
and see you...
on display like that.
320
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,900
I'll, uh,
I'll button up.
321
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:27,030
-Thank you for the Fed-Ex.
-Actually, this isn't for you.
322
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,080
Carrie, there you are.
323
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:43,750
So where are we at
omelet-wise?
324
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,420
Well, it looks like
you're getting a card.
325
00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:47,760
-A card?
-Yeah.
326
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,840
Worst-case scenario,
I thought ice-cream cake,
327
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,720
but this is chilling.
328
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,260
You gotta get them
to bump it up.
329
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,560
Mr. Pruzan, I know
your egg issues are important,
330
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,230
but I've got my own getting
fired thang going on here,
331
00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,980
so I gotta deal
with my own thing--
332
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,810
There's Mr. Kaplan! You can talk
to him right now.
333
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,400
CARRIE: What? No.
He's the head of the firm.
334
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,610
Yes, and he's also the guy
who can green-light omelet man
335
00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:06,690
-in a heartbeat.
-No! No! No! No!
336
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,190
Go! Go! Go! Go!
337
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,870
Mr. Kaplan, hi.
338
00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:13,530
Oh, hello, Carrie.
339
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,620
Um, can I talk to you
for a second?
340
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,040
Mm, sure.
341
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,960
Well, I was just--
I was wondering if, um--
342
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,840
actually, I want to talk
to you about my job.
343
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,710
I know
Mr. Pruzan is leaving,
344
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,090
and, um, I'm sure
you can understand
345
00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:29,260
that I'm
a little concerned,
346
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,220
because, um, you know I've
worked for this firm
347
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:32,720
for a long time,
and I'm really--
348
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,810
Carrie, Carrie,
you'll be fine.
349
00:15:35,850 --> 00:15:38,060
-Really?
-Absolutely. Don't worry.
350
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,940
-Oh.
-That deadwood boss of yours,
351
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:43,520
-he should worry.
-Yeah, you know,
352
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,980
I probably shouldn't
be telling you this,
353
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,440
but do you know
that he actually calls home
354
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,440
during the day to talk
to his answering machine
355
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,950
so his cat
won't get lonely?
356
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:52,450
So you understand
why we're letting him go.
357
00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:53,700
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
358
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:55,240
[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS]
359
00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:58,910
Oh, Mr. Kaplan,
one more quick thing.
360
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:01,920
Um, deadwood
was actually hoping
361
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,500
for, um, that omelet man thing.
I know it's silly,
362
00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:08,050
but it would really ease the
blow for him, you know?
363
00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:09,050
Carrie,
364
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:13,220
that man
cost this firm $47 million.
365
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:15,550
The only way
he can have omelet man
366
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,680
is if he pays for it
himself.
367
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:21,270
That seems fair.
okay. Bye-bye.
368
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,940
Hey, how about this:
you tell your kid
369
00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:26,110
the Koosh
got called back
370
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,230
to its home planet
of Koosheron
371
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,610
where Koosh live,
work, and worship
372
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:33,950
and throw around
tiny people for fun.
373
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,280
There it is.
374
00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:41,910
Okay, everything
looks pretty good.
375
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,170
I should have your report back
to you Monday at the latest.
376
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:47,960
Great. Thanks for stopping by
our little depot.
377
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,090
Where is my car?
378
00:16:51,130 --> 00:16:54,090
The driver said he
just had to bring it around.
379
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,050
What do
you have there?
380
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,470
A Koosh?
381
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:02,600
This? Uh, yeah.
382
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,140
Yo yo yo.
383
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:08,820
I'm going in.
384
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,240
Ziggata!
385
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,790
Hey, Heffernan.
This is Heffernan and Palmer,
386
00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:23,080
a couple of our drivers.
387
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,620
-Hey.
-Hi. Nice to meet you.
388
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:26,830
-How you doing?
-Hoo-hoo!
389
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:32,460
[WHISTLES]
390
00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:35,470
Yo yo!
391
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,550
Ziggatatoww!
392
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,640
Hoo-hoo.
393
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,140
[WHISTLING]
394
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,480
Rrrr! Rrrr!
395
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,280
Okay, this is me.
396
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,610
Thanks, Patrick.
397
00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:56,240
We'll be in touch.
398
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,870
Hoo-hoo.
399
00:18:01,910 --> 00:18:03,330
[WHISTLES]
400
00:18:03,370 --> 00:18:05,040
Shamina-homina.
401
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:13,840
What have you
got there, Paul?
402
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,800
Bacon crumbles, Swiss?
403
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,890
My God, they really
went all out for me.
404
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:21,220
Which credit card
did you want to put this on?
405
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:22,560
Not now.
406
00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,190
Oh, Mr. Kaplan.
There you go.
407
00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:28,520
Oh, and don't forget
your napkin. Don't want
408
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,860
to get anything
on that gorgeous little tie
409
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,480
you got there.
What are those? Ducks?
410
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,280
They're tiny pictures
of my son Harrison.
411
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,620
Oh!
412
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:43,620
Look at that.
He's got your eyes.
413
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,210
Um, Mr. Kaplan?
414
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,710
I was hoping
that we could, um--
415
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:53,250
One second.
I'll take, uh...
416
00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:55,510
mushrooms
and artichokes and--
417
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,260
what is that?
Wafer-thin prosciutto?
418
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:01,050
Hit me.
419
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,640
-I'm sorry. What was that?
-Oh, um,
420
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,680
I just thought we could talk
about our conversation.
421
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,640
What conversation?
422
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,350
Remember in the elevator?
Our conversation about--
423
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,060
that I would
still have a job here.
424
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,780
Well, why would you
still have a job here
425
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:17,240
if your boss is leaving?
426
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,450
Who are you
gonna work for?
427
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,990
But you said
everything would be fine.
428
00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:25,410
-I mean, you said that.
-Well, I guess I meant
429
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:27,620
that everything would be fine
with you out there
430
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:28,960
in the job market.
431
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,250
You're
a very competent person.
432
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:34,920
Easy there, chico.
I like my eggs a little wet.
433
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,880
Mr. Kaplan,
do you understand
434
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,260
that I need
this job?
435
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:41,630
I mean, I don't have
$25 million in the bank
436
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,430
and a house on the beach,
you know? I have one house,
437
00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:45,930
and it's very close
to a gas station.
438
00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:47,270
Carrie,
can we do this later?
439
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,770
No, we can't
do this later, okay?
440
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,020
We're doing this
now, all right?
441
00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:51,480
So you
can understand
442
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,020
why I took that
kind of seriously,
443
00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:55,270
but if you're--
if you're telling me now
444
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,280
that you're
just gonna let me go,
445
00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:01,610
then I guess I
just have one question.
446
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:03,820
Where's my omelet bar?
447
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,410
Hmm?
I have busted my ass
448
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:06,950
for this company
for 7 years.
449
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:09,410
I have come in early.
I have stayed late
450
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:12,120
for no extra pay. I baby-sat
for your freak-duck-looking boy
451
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:15,460
Harrison there
at the Christmas party.
452
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,960
And I've made thousands
of travel arrangements
453
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,260
for all of you and the
hot little paralegals
454
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,550
you're all "mentoring."
455
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,970
so I guess, yeah.
456
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:28,140
Where's my omelet bar?!
Where is it, huh?!
457
00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:31,180
Carrie,
I'm your biggest fan.
458
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,690
I would just hate
for our last interaction
459
00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:35,610
to be me
calling security on you.
460
00:20:35,650 --> 00:20:38,150
Okay, you know what?
You don't gotta call security.
461
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:40,190
'Cause I'm just--
I'm so outta here, okay?
462
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,740
I'm just gonna--
I'm gonna go down to the diner
463
00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:44,070
on 48th street and Lex,
464
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,490
and I'm gonna sit down,
and I'm gonna order
465
00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:48,160
one of the juiciest,
cheesiest omelets
466
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,540
that I can get,
and I'm gonna sit there
467
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:52,040
and pat myself
on the back for the great job
468
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,330
that I've done for this firm,
and then I'm probably
469
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:55,040
gonna throw up,
because the food there
470
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,630
is pretty questionable.
471
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:04,130
Boy, am I glad
that came fast.
472
00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:10,020
Fired. That stings.
473
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,640
Do I feel lucky
I'm leaving mutually.
474
00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:21,610
Honey, I love you so much.
475
00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:23,450
Come on, it's all gonna be OK.
476
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:26,570
Those rich lawyers,
they're the losers, huh?
477
00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:27,990
It's all gonna work out fine.
478
00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:30,580
I'm here for you,
just tell me what you need.
479
00:21:33,290 --> 00:21:35,120
Can I have a fish stick?
480
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:40,840
[STAMMERS] I'm gonna...
I'm gonna...
481
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,010
[**]
34831
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