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1
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:04,500
SINGER: *My eyesare gettin' weary*
2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,170
*My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:09,170
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,970
*On the Queensboro bridgetonight*
5
00:00:12,010 --> 00:00:17,390
*But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
6
00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:23,060
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
7
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,980
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
8
00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:30,480
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,120
Hey, stud, we gettin' dinner
anytime soon?
10
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,330
Oh, yeah.
Lookin' good.
11
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:42,500
We got burger,
burger, chicken...
12
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:46,710
and their sickly
cousin tofu dog.
13
00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:47,880
Look at this.
14
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,210
You guys
are back together.
15
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,170
We're all
back together again.
16
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:52,420
How great is this?
17
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:54,050
Yeah. Next time
either one of you
18
00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:55,760
feels like your marriage
is broken and empty,
19
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,430
walk it off.
20
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,180
Uh, grill
went out again.
21
00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:01,180
Is it? That's it. Care,
let's just get a new grill.
22
00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:02,720
We don't need
a new grill.
23
00:01:02,770 --> 00:01:05,350
Just do that thing you do
to start it up again.
24
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,900
You mean crank up the gas,
throw on a match,
25
00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:09,690
and dive behind
the trash cans?
26
00:01:09,730 --> 00:01:10,730
Yeah, that.
27
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,150
Come on, let's
just get a new one.
28
00:01:12,190 --> 00:01:14,240
I just saw in a catalog
for 500 bucks
29
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,450
you can get ones
with personalized grates,
30
00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:19,620
and you can burn your own
logo into the meat.
31
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,790
Knicks, Jets, Islanders.
32
00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:24,290
Stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
33
00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:26,410
Okay, tell me you wouldn't
love the Maybelline logo
34
00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:29,130
seared right into
your pork chop.
35
00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:30,670
Just light it!
36
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:32,750
Fine. Deac, help me
out here, would you?
37
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,050
Right.
38
00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:35,760
Hey, guess who I have
an appointment with
39
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,880
tomorrow at 10:15?
40
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,010
Who?
41
00:01:39,050 --> 00:01:40,300
Your fancy gynecologist.
42
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,390
[GASPS] Dr. Crawford.
You got in.
43
00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:44,060
Yup. Thanks to your referral
44
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,430
and a year
on the waiting list.
45
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,480
So, I'm really
gonna love him?
46
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,230
Carrie,
there are no words.
47
00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:50,400
I mean, it's like you're
not even at an appointment.
48
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,190
It's like
you're having lunch.
49
00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:54,360
I can't wait.
50
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,490
I can't tell you
how many jerks I've been to.
51
00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:57,990
I mean,
they keep you waiting,
52
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,240
they keep their offices
at 18 degrees.
53
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,120
You know that one guy
was actually on the phone,
54
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,580
pricing Jaguars
while I was...
55
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,080
Okay, you ready?
Here we go. All right.
56
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,630
Get set.
57
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,140
Did it light?
58
00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:22,470
I have no idea.
59
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:25,430
I see a little,
but I'm not sure if it's--
60
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:31,860
Aah! Oh, God!
61
00:02:32,810 --> 00:02:34,770
That's it!
We're getting a new grill!
62
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:36,990
We don't need a new grill.
You just did it wrong.
63
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:40,410
I don't have
any eyebrows!
64
00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:43,160
All right. We'll get you
a new grill, you whiner.
65
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,660
And it's
out again.
66
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,000
Deac, just give me a hand.
We'll nuke this stuff.
67
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,000
All right.
68
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,790
-Thanks.
-Hey, Danny.
69
00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:51,370
-Hi.
-Oh, hey.
70
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,210
Hey. So,
what's goin' on?
71
00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:56,630
You barbecuin'?
Havin' a little party?
72
00:02:56,670 --> 00:03:00,220
No, it's just us
and Deacon and Kelly.
73
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:01,930
Oh, I get it.
It's a couples thing.
74
00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:05,600
So if I was dating someone,
I would've been invited.
75
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,810
Uh... yeah. Sure.
76
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:11,640
Cool. Another time, then.
77
00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:13,310
Anyway, I don't
wanna hold you up.
78
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,770
Just wanted you guys
to be the first to know
79
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:17,360
that I am jumping back
into the small business world.
80
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,070
Great. You got
the bankruptcy paperwork
81
00:03:19,110 --> 00:03:20,240
already filled out or--
82
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,360
Would you
stop it?
83
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,780
What are you
doing, hon?
84
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:24,870
Gonna be doin' a little
landscaping on the side,
85
00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:26,370
like I did in college.
86
00:03:26,410 --> 00:03:28,700
Just, uh, dropping off some
fliers around the neighborhood.
87
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,620
Thought maybe you guys would
hand out a few to your friends.
88
00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:31,500
Oh.
89
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,420
"The Garden of Weedin'."
90
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:40,880
What does that mean?
91
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,220
You put weeds
into people's gardens?
92
00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:44,840
Nah, nah, nah. I take 'em out,
it's a good thing.
93
00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:46,600
Why would you even wanna
call attention to weeds?
94
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,220
Okay, you're overthinking it.
It's catchy.
95
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,060
It is. And you've seen
his patio.
96
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,270
It's gorgeous.
97
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:53,440
I'd be happy to pass
some of these out.
98
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,650
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
99
00:03:54,690 --> 00:03:56,110
-Okay, we are good to go.
-Cool.
100
00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,940
Okay.
Make some room.
101
00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,650
Whoa! Somethin' smelling good
around here, huh?
102
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:03,530
What've you got, there?
Some burgers, some chicken?
103
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,410
All right.
I'll let you get to it.
104
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,950
Okay. Good to see you, Danny.
Bye-Bye.
105
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,870
That's it.
We're done here.
106
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,790
Shut up.
107
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,960
It's over?
108
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,050
Yes, ma'am.
109
00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:21,090
My god.
The time just flew by.
110
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,630
Well, I'm glad to hear
it wasn't too bad for you.
111
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,680
Are you kidding me?
The classical music,
112
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,430
the fur-lined stirrups,
and this...
113
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,390
this gown! What is this,
Egyptian cotton?
114
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,600
300-thread count.
115
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,940
Well, can I,
like, buy one?
116
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,270
Do you have a gift shop here
or something?
117
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:41,650
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, you're funny.
118
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:45,990
And, if I might add, you have
a fabulous uterus to boot.
119
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,450
Thank you.
120
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,370
MARILYN:Dr. Crawford.
121
00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:53,830
Uh, yes,
Marilyn?
122
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,830
MARILYN:Your 11:00 just called.She's gonna be late.
123
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,960
Sheila Carrasco
again?
124
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,460
MARILYN:Yeah.
125
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,380
Tell her she doesn't need
to bother coming in today,
126
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:02,630
and she
can use the time
127
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,970
to find another
gynecologist.
128
00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,510
So, Carrie,
129
00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:08,850
do you have any other
questions for me,
130
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,810
or anything else
you'd like to discuss?
131
00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:15,440
Well, I'm guessing I shouldn't
be late for my next appointment.
132
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:17,690
It's not ideal.
133
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:22,320
Okay. Let me just make a few
notes in your chart here.
134
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,740
You mind
if I move your purse?
135
00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:25,490
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
136
00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:28,410
"The Garden
of Weedin'."
137
00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:29,740
What is this,
a landscaper?
138
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,830
Yeah, it's
my husband's cousin.
139
00:05:31,870 --> 00:05:33,660
-Oh. Is he good?
-Well, he's just, uh,
140
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,830
getting back
into the business,
141
00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:36,410
but he has
a real knack for it.
142
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,880
Huh. That could really
work out well for me.
143
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,340
We need a little work
done on our front yard.
144
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:44,710
But I only
wanna spend $500.
145
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,420
Give him a call.
Take a flier.
146
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,680
Great. Thanks.
147
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,050
Feel free
to help yourself
148
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,060
to an ice-blended
coffee on your way out.
149
00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:10,740
You know that's not a TV
you're watching, right?
150
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:13,790
Ha ha ha!
That's a good one.
151
00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:15,080
Actually,
for your information,
152
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,790
I'm online doing
a little research.
153
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:21,580
Adventuresinmeat.com."
154
00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:23,210
It's the char-master
website.
155
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:26,590
I'm taking a virtual tour of
the 6-burner platinum edition.
156
00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:27,760
Where's the grill?
157
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,140
We're in it.
It's a steak-eye view.
158
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,640
Look at this. We're
zooming into the drip tray
159
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,730
and back up
to the lava rocks.
160
00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:40,060
Drip tray,
lava rocks.
161
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,270
Feels sexy,
don't it?
162
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:44,440
Would you just pick one
of these freaking things
163
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:45,650
and just buy it?
164
00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:47,610
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
165
00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:49,490
Hello?
166
00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:50,910
Oh, hi,
Dr. Crawford.
167
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:53,370
Look. Look. Look.
Sauce warmer.
168
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,580
Corn-cob caddy.
169
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:57,950
Shh! It's
my new gynecologist.
170
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:00,420
Hey, Doug.
Is Arthur home?
171
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,620
No, he's out now.
172
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:04,540
Oh, okay. Could you see
that he gets this?
173
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:05,880
A Slim-Jim?
174
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,260
Yeah. Yeah, he brought
one on our walk today,
175
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,470
and a couple of the dogs
tag-teamed him
176
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:10,970
and took it away.
177
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,100
You made a special trip
for this?
178
00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:16,890
He was pretty
insistent.
179
00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:19,980
-Okay, I'll pass it on.
-Great, thanks.
180
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,310
-Oh, hey, Hol.
-Hey.
181
00:07:21,350 --> 00:07:23,810
That was Dr. Crawford
calling to tell me
182
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,320
what a great job Danny did
on his front yard.
183
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,740
I guess somebody
was wrong about him.
184
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,990
Okay, my idiot cousin
can dig a ditch.
185
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:34,820
Oh, how
I've misjudged him.
186
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:36,490
Did you just
say Dr. Crawford,
187
00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:38,580
as in
Dr. Roy Crawford?
188
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:41,330
Is he
your gynecologist?
189
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:42,210
Yeah.
190
00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,080
Gosh, I hear
he's the best.
191
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,000
I mean, is there any way
you could get me in?
192
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,460
Why? What's wrong with your guy?
193
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,760
Dr. Ambrose? Well, I...
194
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:56,470
I saw him a couple of times,
and then he kept calling me
late at night.
195
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,810
I mean, is there any way you can
put in a good word for me
with Crawford?
196
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:00,140
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
197
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,520
Um.
198
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,600
No. No.
199
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:03,730
-Well--
-I can't.
200
00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:04,850
-If you just--
-I don't want to.
201
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:05,900
It won't
take 2 seconds.
202
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,110
I just
don't want to.
203
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,190
-Okay, thank you.
-Okay. All right.
204
00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,610
Thanks very much.
Thanks.
205
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:13,490
[POUNDS ON WINDOW]
206
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,200
Your boyfriend's here.
207
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:19,700
Hey, what's up?
208
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:21,040
Just came by
to thank you
209
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,370
for hooking me up
with the good doctor.
210
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:23,580
Oh, yeah! I just got off
the phone with him.
211
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,040
-He's thrilled.
-I know.
212
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,420
And as a token
of my appreciation,
213
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:29,130
I brought you
a Prunus persica.
214
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:32,130
Or, as you kids call it,
an apple tree.
215
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,260
Sweet. You can never
have too many apples.
216
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:37,720
And you're gonna be buried
in them in about 18 years.
217
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,220
Well, I'm glad
this worked out.
218
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,730
Yeah. Thanks to you,
I'm really getting legit here.
219
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,060
Like an actual business!
220
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,560
Dr. Crawford
will receive his bill
221
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:49,690
on official Garden of Weedin'
stationary.
222
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,240
Look, I even
got my own logo.
223
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,950
Is that a drawing of you naked?
224
00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:59,200
Nah, it's me with a
really big green thumb.
225
00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:06,500
Wait a minute.
This bill is for $958.
226
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:07,630
-Yeah? So?
-So?
227
00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:09,420
He only wanted
to spend $500.
228
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,090
The job ran over.
It happens.
229
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:14,220
Okay. He's gonna freak out
when he sees this.
230
00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:15,930
He can freak out
all he wants.
231
00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:20,220
He got his hedges.
Now I gets my cabbage.
232
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,770
Yeah, and he drops me
as a patient
233
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:23,980
'cause he's gonna
blame me for this.
234
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,310
-Oh, come on.
-No, I'm serious.
235
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:27,480
You don't cross
this guy, okay?
236
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,400
Sorry, pal. You're only
charging him $500.
237
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,270
-I can't do that.
-You're doing it.
238
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,780
I can't!
I already owe it all!
239
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:35,280
I got all these plants
on credit from the nursery.
240
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,280
I gotta pay my workers.
241
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,820
This thing alone
was $63.
242
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:39,780
You charged him
for my apple tree?!
243
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:43,450
It's how
the business works!
244
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,000
You're a moron!
245
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,540
Don't let me
bother you, kids.
246
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:49,040
Just measuring out
a new spot for my grill.
247
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,040
Sorry, Carrie. The bill
is what it is, all right?
248
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,630
I'm not doing this for charity.
I'm a businessman.
249
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,760
Well, fine. I'm just gonna call
him and tell him not to pay you.
250
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,050
Well, then,
I'll sue him.
251
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,220
Or, better yet,
I'll go to his house
252
00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:58,640
and rip out
all my plants.
253
00:09:58,680 --> 00:09:59,720
Pardon me.
254
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:00,800
I can't believe you!
255
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,140
Yeah, well,
believe it, baby.
256
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:07,020
I'm gonna lose
my gynecologist.
257
00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:09,230
Holly's guy sounded pretty good.
258
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,370
Hey, hon.
259
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,490
What, are you
watching a western?
260
00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:23,990
Yeah.
261
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,120
Who made
saloon furniture?
262
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,170
Never really held up
during a fight.
263
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,380
And those banisters,
264
00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:33,550
what's the point
of even having one?
265
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:36,880
Ha ha!
266
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,590
That's why I love you. I never
know what you're gonna say.
267
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:45,470
Okay, what do you want?
268
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,850
Here's the thing.
I don't know if you heard
269
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,440
what went down
with Danny and I,
270
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,610
but it turns out he's gonna
overcharge my gynecologist
271
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,610
by, like, $400.
272
00:10:57,650 --> 00:10:58,990
Yeah?
273
00:10:59,030 --> 00:11:00,700
Okay, now, I'm just throwing
this out there, okay?
274
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:04,200
I'm just spitballing. I want you
to keep an open mind, all right?
275
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,580
I want us to pay
the extra $400.
276
00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:14,130
Okay, cool.
All right.
277
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:15,670
So I'm just gonna
go scoot on down
278
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:17,260
to the ATM,
all right?
279
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,130
And I'll see you
in a minute.
280
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:21,720
Saloon furniture.
You're crazy, man!
281
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,680
Hey! Hey!
You don't gotta go to the ATM,
282
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,890
I got it right here.
I got it right here.
283
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:26,890
Not a problem.
284
00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:30,230
Here it is,
100, 200, 300,
285
00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:32,440
no hundred ever.
286
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:35,520
Come on, Doug!
287
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,070
No, it's insane. I'm not
paying for Danny's screw-up.
288
00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:38,490
Let Danny pay for it.
289
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:39,860
He can't pay for it.
He doesn't have the money.
290
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,490
Besides,
he's a loose cannon.
291
00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:44,370
He could freak out and leave
a dead shrub in the guy's bed.
292
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:46,740
Let me just get
the 500 from Crawford,
293
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,240
put it
in with our money,
294
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,700
and I'll give it
all to Danny.
295
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,460
Nobody has to know anything,
and everybody's happy.
296
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:55,170
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Except for chubby.
297
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,090
Doug... please.
298
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:02,550
I cannot lose
this gynecologist.
299
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:04,050
What is it
about this guy?
300
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,470
What--what goes on
in that room?
301
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,560
I don't know.
It's everything.
302
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,440
I mean, even the lighting
in there, Doug.
303
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,770
I stayed after
to redo my makeup,
304
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,570
and it came out perfect.
305
00:12:19,610 --> 00:12:22,280
Well, maybe losing
your gynecologist
306
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,950
is a good lesson for you.
307
00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:26,370
Maybe next time you wanna do
something nice for Danny,
308
00:12:26,410 --> 00:12:30,290
you'll think to yourself,
"Ooh. Last time I did this,
309
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:33,370
I lost my gynecologist."
310
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,210
Look, I know in a logical
world, it makes no sense,
311
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,630
but I think if you were a woman,
you would understand.
312
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,460
Even if we do
pay the 400 bucks,
313
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,550
that's all the extra money
we got lying around, you know?
314
00:12:42,590 --> 00:12:45,550
How am I gonna pay
for my grill?
315
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:46,550
Yeah.
316
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:48,510
Oh... my God.
317
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,430
Come on. We'll just
cancel the new one,
318
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,560
and I'll
light the old one.
319
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,600
You never
have to touch it.
320
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,310
Great, so I'll still
have my crappy old grill
321
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:59,190
and a wife with a smoking head.
[IMITATES SIZZLING]
322
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,940
Sorry, toots.
Ain't gonna happen.
323
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:09,530
I gotta talk to you about this
Danny/gynecologist thing.
324
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,120
Hey, did you hear
about that? Carrie wants us
325
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,080
to pay $400 to Danny, man.
Freakin' crazy.
326
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,960
Yeah, crazy.
327
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,920
I'm gonna need you
to pay that.
328
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,250
What?
Why should I pay it?
329
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,500
Because your cousin
was referred
330
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,090
to Dr. Crawford
by your wife,
331
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,260
who was referred
by my wife,
332
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,430
and now
my wife's hysterical
333
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:26,890
that if this thing
blows up,
334
00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:28,930
she's going down
with Carrie.
335
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,600
What is wrong
with you people?
336
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,390
Look, all I know is I just
got back together with Kelly.
337
00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:34,640
I don't need her
running around
338
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,020
crying about losing
her gynecologist.
339
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,400
Sorry, dude,
I can't do it.
340
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,230
Oh, you're doing it.
341
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:42,820
Oh, really?
You're gonna make me?
342
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:44,860
Maybe I will.
343
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,650
All right,
then let's go.
344
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,320
Ow!
345
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,410
You said let's go!
346
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,830
Did not expect that!
347
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,580
I'm sorry, man.
348
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:57,750
Look, I'm just trying to put
my marriage back together here.
349
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,040
Fine!
I'll do it.
350
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,460
Thank you.
351
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,130
What is it
with this doctor?
352
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:03,590
What do they love
so much about him?
353
00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:06,050
I don't know.
He--he's soothing.
354
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:08,430
He puts them at ease.
355
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,350
He's like
the vagina whisperer.
356
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,660
Hey.
357
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,120
How's it going?
358
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,790
Don't worry.
Nobody's trying to light you.
359
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:41,840
I'm just gonna
check out your gas flow.
360
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:47,130
So... how about
them Knicks, huh?
361
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:50,640
I tell you,
I think this year
362
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,930
they're looking
pretty good if they--
363
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,940
I will see you
in hell.
364
00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:03,730
Hi, honey.
What are you doing?
365
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,980
Oh, I'm just trying to
cook dinner and not die.
366
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,900
Look, I know
you hate this grill,
367
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,990
but everything
worked out great.
368
00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:12,030
Danny thinks Dr. Crawford
paid for the whole thing.
369
00:15:12,070 --> 00:15:14,080
Dr. Crawford thinks
he only paid $500.
370
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,950
It's over.
And I promise you next year,
371
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,830
I will buy you
an even better grill.
372
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:20,290
Stop saying grill.
373
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:23,290
All right, I'm gonna go
cook this meat inside, okay?
374
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,380
DOUG: Yuspa!
375
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,300
Honey, there's a message
on the machine.
376
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,350
-Did you check it?
-No!
377
00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:37,810
[BEEPS]
378
00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:39,100
DANNY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Greetings, Americans,
379
00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:41,690
and welcometo today's moron report.
380
00:15:41,730 --> 00:15:43,940
Seems Dr. Crawfordwas so happy with the job
381
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:46,400
this moron didin his front yard
382
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,530
that he just hired himto do his whole backyard.
383
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:51,950
-[GASPS]
-Huh!
384
00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:53,240
DANNY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Guess he didn't have
385
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,370
any problem with the $900after all.
386
00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:58,500
Ooh! File this under burned.
387
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,210
Ow! What was that for?
388
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,960
You're gonna call
Dr. Crawford.
389
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,290
You're gonna tell him you're
sick, tell him you died,
390
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,300
tell him you sliced off your
foot with a garden weasel.
391
00:16:09,340 --> 00:16:10,590
Just get out of it.
392
00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:12,220
Why should I get out of it?
The guy loves me.
393
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:14,550
He couldn't have been happier
with the job I did.
394
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:17,970
Because he thought
it cost $500.
395
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,390
What are you talking about?
He paid me 900.
396
00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:21,770
No, he paid you 500,
397
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:24,400
and Doug and I paid the rest
out of our pockets.
398
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,980
-You did?
-Yeah.
399
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:29,570
So Crawford thought I did
all that work for just 500?
400
00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:32,740
Again, yeah.
401
00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:34,280
Uh-oh.
402
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,070
Uh-oh? Uh-oh what?
403
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,290
W-well, I thought he was fine
paying double the estimate,
404
00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:42,040
so I thought
I'd give triple a shot.
405
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,830
Oh, my god! You are
the stupidest person alive!
406
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,250
I don't suppose
you guys would be willing
407
00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:48,920
to pay the difference
one more time, would you?
408
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,210
Ow! Same one!
409
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,260
Would you please get your
goldfish out of my bathtub?
410
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,300
All right, they're
not goldfish, okay?
411
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:57,430
They're Japanese koi,
412
00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:59,010
and they're really
expensive, so hands off.
413
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,890
Whoa, whoa. Are those
koi for Dr. Crawford?
414
00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:04,940
-Yeah.
-Did he ask for koi?
415
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,650
Not in so many words.
416
00:17:06,690 --> 00:17:08,310
It's one word!
417
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,690
About my bath?
418
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:11,610
Is this the way
you take a bath?
419
00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:12,900
Yeah.
420
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:15,950
You look like Ernie
fromSesame Street.
421
00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:17,030
What did I do to you?
422
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,950
I don't-- nothing.
I'm sorry.
423
00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:20,080
What was I thinking?
424
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,330
I--I can't run
a business.
425
00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:25,460
Oh, man! Why did I listen
to that fortune cookie?!
426
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,080
I hate me!
427
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,590
All right, all right!
Pull yourself together here.
428
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,300
Call Dr. Crawford.
I will dial.
429
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,880
All right, but I'll
tell you right now.
430
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,960
He's gonna
be pretty pissed.
431
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,220
I already
dug up his yard
432
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:37,720
and I may have cut
his phone line.
433
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,970
Okay, Danny. I guess you have
to go through with this.
434
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:43,930
But here's how
it's gonna go down.
435
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,640
-Look at me.
-I can't.
436
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,900
Look at me!
437
00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:51,400
You're gonna give him
exactly what he asked for
438
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,820
for exactly the amount you told
him it was gonna cost,
439
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:57,990
and it's gonna be
friggin' gorgeous,
440
00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:02,040
or I'm gonna give you
a gynecological exam.
441
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,170
-CARRIE: Yeah.
-It was funny.
442
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:13,340
Hey, nice job
up there
443
00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:15,010
with the karaoke,
my friend.
444
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:17,930
Oh, thanks, man. And I wasn't
just talking smack.
445
00:18:17,970 --> 00:18:20,390
You do have
Bette Davis eyes.
446
00:18:22,930 --> 00:18:24,430
[BEEPS]
447
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,390
DR. CRAWFORD ON MACHINE:
Carrie, this is Dr. Crawford.
448
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:29,520
Sorry about the connection.I'm on my cell.
449
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,070
Something's wrongwith my home phone.
450
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,650
Anyway,I'm just calling
451
00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:35,240
because Dannydug up my yard,
452
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,530
but I haven't been ableto get a hold of him since.
453
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:40,070
I'm going out of towntonight until Monday,
454
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:44,120
but if you speak to him,please leave me a message.
455
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,210
[SWEETLY] Thanks. Bye!
456
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,790
You let your cousin
do another job for him?
457
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:52,380
I didn't know until
after he started it.
458
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:54,170
Well, where is he?
459
00:19:08,270 --> 00:19:12,020
Okay. It's 1 A.M. I'm standing
in your gynecologist's backyard
460
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:14,320
planting a pear tree.
461
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,030
That's right.
And after this,
462
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:19,650
we have a whole row
of morning glories to plant,
463
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,070
so keep it moving.
464
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,620
Why the hell am I pushing
the damn wheelbarrow?
465
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:23,780
He's your doctor!
466
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,410
Just keep it down.
How's it going?
467
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:27,250
Not good. I don't know
what I'm looking at here.
468
00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:30,000
I think
I'm gonna cry.
469
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,120
Deacon,
what are you doing?
470
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,380
Relax.
The guy's out of town.
471
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:33,920
I just want
to check out his place.
472
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,250
What's he got
going on in there?
473
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,470
Oh, my God! He's
got vaginas in jars!
474
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,140
I think
those are peaches.
475
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,940
Oh.
476
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,270
Oh, yeah, yeah.
477
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:53,940
Can you guys
get back to work, please?
478
00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:55,520
Aw, man.
479
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,490
I never felt like less
of a man in my life.
480
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,320
Oh, this is just a joke!
481
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,450
Turn it off!
482
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:07,240
I don't know where--
it's probably on a timer!
483
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,080
You guys, don't worry
about it. Just keep digging.
484
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,960
-What?!
-What? It's just water!
485
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,710
What are you,
a big baby?
486
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,000
Oh, my God,
look at this!
487
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:19,050
He's got the Charmaster
8000! He's got my grill!
488
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:24,510
With a Patriots logo!
That is so wrong!
489
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,560
DR. CRAWFORD:
And that's it.
490
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,270
We are done here.
491
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:42,200
Really? Wow.
That was delightful.
492
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,700
Super.
493
00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:45,820
I can't tell you how happy I am
494
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,530
that I don't have to go to
Dr. Ambrose anymore.
495
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,540
Thank you so much
for fitting me in.
496
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:51,330
Well, normally you'd have
to wait at least a year,
497
00:20:51,370 --> 00:20:54,620
but you called
on the right day.
498
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,460
I came home early from
my vacation last night
499
00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:59,050
and found
2 of my patients
500
00:20:59,090 --> 00:21:02,420
soaking wet, standing
in a hole in my backyard
501
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,010
slapping each other.
502
00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:06,260
Can you imagine?
503
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:09,510
There are a lot of sick people
in this world.
504
00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:12,480
[PHONE RINGS]
505
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,190
Hello?
506
00:21:21,230 --> 00:21:22,650
DR. AMBROSE:Hello, Carrie?
507
00:21:22,690 --> 00:21:25,410
This is Dr. Ambrose.
508
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:29,910
Um... hi.
What's up?
509
00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,870
[AMBROSE SIGHS]
510
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,710
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
37101
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