All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S01E08 - Educating Doug_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:02,620 --> 00:00:05,790
[**]
2
00:00:07,130 --> 00:00:08,840
What do you got there?
3
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:11,170
Mini Number-O's.
4
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,380
Frosted Numbers.
5
00:00:14,590 --> 00:00:16,390
Oh, I'll give 'em a try.
6
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,760
Ooh!
7
00:00:19,810 --> 00:00:21,100
3-D glasses!
8
00:00:21,140 --> 00:00:22,680
[CHUCKLES]
9
00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:24,770
Guess this is my lucky day.
10
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,480
Can I, uh--
Can I see 'em?
11
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,150
You can see 'em fine
from right there.
12
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,280
Wow!
13
00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:37,700
OK, you know what,
fine, fine, enjoy 'em.
14
00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:40,490
Ooh...
15
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,750
Look, Arthur, it's, uh...
16
00:00:46,790 --> 00:00:48,500
It's no big deal,
but, uh,
17
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:51,090
I did buy the cereal,
so technically,
18
00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:53,420
those are mine.
19
00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:58,220
Possession is 9/10ths
of the law, buddy boy!
20
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,680
You know what,
you keep those, and I'll..
21
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,060
I'll keep the box
with the 3-D jungle scene
22
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,730
on the back, OK?
23
00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:05,690
Let me see that.
24
00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,690
Ah-ah! 9/10ths of the law!
25
00:01:07,730 --> 00:01:09,980
Look at that, it's even fun
to look at with plain eyes.
26
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:11,400
Look at the jungle cat.
27
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:12,820
Rrrowr!
28
00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:15,240
Maybe we can work something out!
29
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,740
Oh! Suddenly we're negotiating.
30
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,070
Don't think so.
31
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,240
I'm warning you!
32
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,580
I'll rip 'em in half!
33
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,200
Go ahead, big shot!
34
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,620
Well, that's it.
35
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,870
You'll never see
this jungle picture again.
36
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,790
No more jungle picture, OK?
37
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,510
I've had it.
There you go. Huh?
38
00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:45,140
Want some cereal, hon?
39
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,810
[**]
40
00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:00,780
All right,
Mr. and Mrs. Heffernan.
41
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,490
I'm gonna try to
wrap this up quickly.
42
00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:04,580
You probably have
better things to do
with your evening
43
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:06,000
than talk about insurance.
44
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,500
I don't know.
Just that pesky
World Series.
45
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:12,500
Well, actually,
all I need now
46
00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:15,210
is your decision
on the building code
upgrade coverage.
47
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,380
You think you want that
or not?
48
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:18,220
Well, do you think
we need it?
49
00:02:18,260 --> 00:02:22,550
Well, personally, I think
the argument for it
is fairly specious.
50
00:02:23,930 --> 00:02:26,600
[BOTH MOUTHING WORDS]
51
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:31,230
So...yea or nay?
52
00:02:31,270 --> 00:02:34,230
Well, that depends
how, uh, specious
53
00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:36,480
the argument
really is.
54
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:40,570
Well, I'd say in your case,
it's extremely specious.
55
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,870
I guess we just
have to decide
56
00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:49,000
if we're into the whole
specious thang.
57
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,460
You know what?
I'm just gonna
think about it.
58
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,460
I'm just gonna
think about it
right over here.
59
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,600
[MOUTHS WORDS]
60
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,430
So...insurance.
61
00:03:07,470 --> 00:03:09,430
It's quite a game.
62
00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:11,560
How'd a crazy guy
like yourself
63
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,730
get involved with that?
64
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:16,150
Well, you know,
I just needed something
65
00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:18,740
where I could be out,
you know, meeting people.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
66
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,610
Because, you know,
there's one thing
my old grandma used to say--
67
00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:23,660
Alrighty, yeah!
That's nice.
All right.
68
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:27,330
So, hon, yea or nay?
69
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:29,370
Well, since
the argument for it
70
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,920
has the ring of truth,
but is actually false...
71
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,250
I say we take a pass.
72
00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:35,840
I agree.
All right.
73
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,130
Let's play ball.
74
00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:44,680
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING;
CHAIN SAW REVVING ON TV]
75
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,350
What are we watching?
76
00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:54,150
Indian River
lumberjack competition.
77
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,780
This looks to be
the pole-bucking finals.
78
00:03:58,820 --> 00:03:59,900
Ah.
79
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,240
See, he's gotta climb up
that 20-foot pole
80
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,660
and cut a slice off the end
with his chain saw.
81
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:07,990
It's judged on speed
and chain-saw technique.
82
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:11,250
You do realize we have
a limited time on this earth,
83
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:12,330
don't you?
84
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:13,710
What's the matter?
85
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:16,290
Just what happened
tonight.
86
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,960
I mean, it didn't
bother you at all
87
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,460
that we didn't know
what "specious" meant?
88
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,630
A little at first,
but I made my peace with it.
89
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,300
See, now, that slice
is uneven.
90
00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:29,640
That's gonna cost him.
That's points off
right there.
91
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,810
I got news for you, hon.
92
00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:32,980
We're getting dumber
as a couple.
93
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,150
Ah, we're fine.
94
00:04:35,190 --> 00:04:36,940
No, we're not fine.
95
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:37,860
Hey!
96
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,270
Doug, we're turning
into idiots.
97
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,190
All we do is watch TV
all the time.
98
00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:44,780
You know, there are couples
that actually sit
in bed and read.
99
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,780
Who do you know
who sits in bed
and reads?
100
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,870
Mike and Carol Brady.
101
00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:54,000
You see? That's all
I could come up with
102
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,620
because I'm an idiot.
103
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:58,630
You are not,
all right?
104
00:04:58,670 --> 00:05:00,420
Stop that.
Don't talk like that.
105
00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,340
I love you.
Now come here.
Gimme a hug.
106
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:03,720
Oh, yeah, right.
Nice try.
107
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,010
Come on!
Give me the remote.
108
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,800
No TV!
Yes TV.
109
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,350
Doug, come on.
You know it wouldn't
kill us to read more.
110
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:11,260
Yes, kill us.
111
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,850
All right,
Doug, stop.
112
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:14,480
Now, just pretend
I'm a commercial
113
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,100
and listen to me
for one minute.
114
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:17,560
What?
115
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,520
OK. This girlfriend
of mine at work,
her and her husband,
116
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,610
they take
all these classes
together at night,
117
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:23,860
you know,
different things,
118
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,530
just to keep
their minds going,
you know?
119
00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:28,240
Losers!
120
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,240
They're not losers.
Now, come on.
121
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,700
We should do
something like that.
122
00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:34,200
OK, come on,
give me the remote.
123
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,710
I do things
you want to do.
124
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,000
Oh, yeah?
Like what?
125
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,540
Like sex.
126
00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:42,960
Oh, like you don't
enjoy the gravy train.
Come on.
127
00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:47,380
I will. Come on,
just take one class with me.
128
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,720
One class
one night a week.
129
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,720
If we get too smart,
we'll stop.
130
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,230
All right.
All right.
131
00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:56,230
OK.
Gimme the remote.
132
00:05:56,270 --> 00:05:57,640
There you go.
Thank you.
133
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:58,600
All right.
134
00:05:58,650 --> 00:05:59,770
[MAN SCREAMING ON TV]
135
00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:01,730
Oh, great. Look at that.
Lost a finger!
136
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:03,940
I missed it.
Thank you.
137
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,530
Heffanen is handling
Ianeutry's backhand volleys.
138
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:15,040
Indeed, he's answering them
in kind.
139
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:19,210
Oh! Brilliant passing shot
by Heffanen to win the day!
140
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,670
Score now stands 6-4.
141
00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:25,010
Hey, Moose, we playin' poker
Thursday night?
142
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:26,210
I can't.
143
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,510
Carrie signed us up
for some night class.
144
00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:30,260
"The Victorian Novel."
145
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,510
All right!
146
00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:32,760
What's up with that?
147
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,180
I don't know,
she started yappin'
148
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,640
during the lumberjack
competition--
149
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,560
I said yes
to get the remote back.
150
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,350
Hey, you're in for a real treat.
151
00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,270
Such wonderful novels--
152
00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:42,440
Wuthering Heights,
153
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,610
Tess of the d'Ubervilles...
154
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:47,990
Oh, they're all written
with such panache.
155
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:51,660
See, that's why you get
a lot of wedgies.
156
00:06:52,990 --> 00:06:55,120
You know, maybe I'll take
this class with you.
157
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,580
You know,
these extension courses
158
00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:57,830
are a really good place
to meet women.
159
00:06:57,870 --> 00:06:59,370
Spence, you couldn't
pick up any women
160
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:00,460
in that wine tasting class,
161
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,670
and they were all drunk.
162
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,130
Yeah, but books
are more my milieu.
163
00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:08,470
Okay, one more word in French
out of you,
164
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,090
I'm gonna have to kick your ass.
165
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,630
Touché.
166
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,260
That's it.
167
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,810
I'll tell you,
this was a banner idea
168
00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:20,310
you kids had,
169
00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:21,810
taking classes at night.
170
00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:23,360
You decided
what you're
gonna take, Dad?
171
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,940
I'm not sure.
172
00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:28,320
Either salsa dancing
or how to become
a notary public.
173
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,110
What do you think?
174
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,950
Well, that depends
if you want to dance
175
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:34,120
or watch people
sign things.
176
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,280
Both interest me.
177
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,160
Hey, would you
watch the road
now and again?
178
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,000
Would you relax?
179
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,250
I'm sorry.
It's just that kid--
180
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:44,880
I think he's gotta
go home and change now.
181
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,170
You know what?
182
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,380
I think I'm gonna take
the notary class.
183
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,970
God knows, the world doesn't
need another salsa dancer.
184
00:07:58,390 --> 00:07:59,680
[HONKING]
185
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,310
Spence, come on.
SPENCE: Coming!
186
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:04,690
Bye, Mom.
187
00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:08,110
I don't know how late.
We might go out after.
188
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:11,400
I don't need
to wear my hood.
189
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,410
Soon as we get
around the corner,
190
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:22,500
this thing's
coming right off.
191
00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:28,880
And so, by the beginning
of the century,
192
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,840
you've got Napoleon
overrunning Europe,
193
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,920
the promise
of democracy gone,
194
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,220
the Industrial Revolution
195
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:37,050
turning everyone's lives
upside down.
196
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,060
And from this upheaval
197
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,730
emerged some of the greatest
writers in history.
198
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:44,190
Does this
look like Batman?
199
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,860
In one short period
of history,
200
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:50,070
you've got Charles Dickens,
Thomas Hardy,
201
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:52,110
the Bronte sisters,
Jane Austen,
202
00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:55,070
all the way through
Henry James and Oscar Wilde.
203
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,030
Now, these writers,
each in their own way,
204
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,910
reflected the mores
and conventions
of their times,
205
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:02,830
and in many cases,
I think we'll find
206
00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:05,170
they challenge
these mores as well.
207
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:06,460
Quit it!
208
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,500
Oh, he was touching me.
209
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,170
Anyway, we're gonna
get rolling with a novel
210
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,590
by one of the most
truly interesting
writers of the era--
211
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,600
Charlotte Bronte.
212
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,010
The book,
Jane Eyre.
213
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,180
I'm also handing out
214
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,640
a list of 10
discussion questions
215
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,190
about
Jane Eyre.
216
00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:29,810
I want you to read the book,
look them over.
217
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,230
We will discuss them
when we meet again.
218
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,410
ARTHUR:
I'll tell you this much,
219
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:47,040
becoming a notary public
is not for the timid.
220
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:47,750
No, sir.
221
00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:49,830
Verycompetitive.
222
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,300
A lot of backstabbing here.
223
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,170
Hey, pull over.
I gotta use the john.
224
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,430
Why didn't you go
when we dropped
Spence off?
225
00:09:58,470 --> 00:09:59,970
I didn't have to go then.
226
00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:03,350
Excuse me for not
having a prostate!
227
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,310
All right, Dad.
There's a Dairy Queen.
228
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:09,060
Go knock yourself out.
229
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:12,820
OK. After I pee,
anyone want a soft serve?
230
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:16,820
No, thanks.
231
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:18,240
Okey-doke.
232
00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:23,870
OK, look, I'm sorry
about the class.
233
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:25,290
I was just
fooling around.
I'm sorry.
234
00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:28,160
Forget about it.
It's not even
your fault.
235
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,420
It's my fault.
236
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:31,080
It is?
237
00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:36,010
I just kind of had
this stupid fantasy
238
00:10:36,050 --> 00:10:38,470
that we'd
take the class
239
00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:40,010
and we'd both enjoy it
240
00:10:40,050 --> 00:10:41,340
and then we'd read
more books
241
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,140
and eventually
we spend our evenings
242
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:44,850
sitting in front
of a roaring fireplace,
243
00:10:44,890 --> 00:10:48,180
drinking cognac,
244
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:52,110
exchanging
witty repartee.
245
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,400
Who was I kidding?
We can't even do
the word jumble
246
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,690
in the
Daily News.
247
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,610
All right,
you know what?
248
00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,530
I'm gonna read the book.
249
00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:01,910
No, Doug, don't,
250
00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:03,490
because I wasn't
trying to guilt you
into doing it.
251
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,490
I know, OK?
252
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,370
I want to. I want us
both to read it
253
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,960
and talk about it
in front of a roaring fire.
254
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,210
I'm sure your father
will start one
at some point.
255
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,340
You really
want to continue
with the class?
256
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:20,300
Yes.
257
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:21,380
Thank you.
258
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,930
OK.
259
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,310
Honey...
Hmm?
260
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,350
Nothin'.
261
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:35,610
[**]
262
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:43,490
OK, baby.
Got my reading supplies,
263
00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:45,700
ahem, my lap pillow,
264
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:48,660
my, uh,
pro-reader bookmark,
265
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:49,910
and, uh...
266
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:52,210
my itty-bitty
book light
267
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:54,040
for after
lights out.
268
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,130
And...?
269
00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:16,610
Book.
270
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:19,480
There you go, bubbie.
271
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,320
OK!
272
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,950
Me and the missus
getting jiggy
with our books.
273
00:12:24,990 --> 00:12:29,790
Here we go.
Chapter one.
274
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:32,330
DOUG [READING]:
"There was no possibility
of taking a walk that day.
275
00:12:32,370 --> 00:12:34,210
"We had been
wandering, indeed,
276
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,210
"in the leafless shrubbery
an hour in the morning.
277
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,290
"but since dinner,
the cold winter wind
278
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,880
"had brought with it
clouds so somber
279
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,840
"and a rain so penetrating
280
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,470
"that further
outdoor exercise
281
00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:47,930
was now
out of the question."
282
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:51,020
[THINKING]
Oh, my God.
283
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:55,850
All right, don't panic.
You can do this.
284
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,360
[READING]
"Never liked long walks,
285
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:01,070
especially
on chilly afternoons."
286
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,650
[THINKING]
Chili...
287
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,660
I like chili.
288
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,540
How do women
wear a bra all the time?
289
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,630
It's not that bad
once you get going, right?
290
00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:20,340
Yeah, it's, uh...
Yeah.
291
00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:23,510
CARRIE [THINKING]:
Aw, look at him.
292
00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:25,970
He's really trying.
293
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:28,300
Such a sweetie.
294
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:32,060
What's growing
out of his ear?
295
00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:36,350
That was not there
6 months ago.
296
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:40,150
[THINKING]
* Jimmy crack corn *
297
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:43,070
* I hate this book *
298
00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:44,610
* Jimmy crack corn *
299
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,820
* I hate this book *
300
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,160
* Jimmy crack corn *
301
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,370
* I hate this book *
302
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:56,080
* Let's pretend
I read page one *
303
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:06,260
Sign this.
304
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:11,140
"I agree to deliver
15 tons of gravel
305
00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:15,060
to MacKenzie Naval Base
in Bethesda, Maryland."
306
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:18,350
It's a sample contract
for my class.
307
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,230
I need to practice
notarizing.
308
00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:23,940
Good, 'cause I don't think
I have that much gravel.
309
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:27,570
Do I mock
your profession?!
310
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:32,080
Now, come on,
you sign it while I watch.
311
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,330
Then I'll stamp it,
312
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:35,910
and I'll enter it
into my ledger.
313
00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:37,500
You got it.
314
00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:38,370
Wait.
315
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,290
I'm not ready
to watch yet.
316
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:43,590
I need a second
to get loose.
317
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,140
Aah!
318
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,640
OK...
319
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,720
sign it.
320
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,310
OK.
321
00:14:58,350 --> 00:15:01,690
Back up 2 inches.
322
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:03,150
Alrighty.
323
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,520
Here we go.
324
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,480
[DOG BARKS]
325
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,150
OK?
326
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:10,410
Oh, my God!
I looked away.
327
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,700
I didn't see you
sign it.
328
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,120
I signed it, Dad.
329
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,700
Take my word for it.
330
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:16,950
If I could
take your word,
331
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,750
we wouldn't need
notaries, would we?
332
00:15:18,790 --> 00:15:21,080
Ooh.
333
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,920
Who was I fooling?
334
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,840
I'm not fit
to be a notary.
335
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,710
It's a young man's game.
336
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,430
Hey.
337
00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:32,800
Hi, honey.
How's the book coming?
338
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,390
Good. Page 418.
339
00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:37,310
Wow, you're
ahead of me.
340
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:38,930
Come on, don't be
hard on yourself.
341
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,560
It's not a race.
342
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,640
Heh heh.
343
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,060
I'm just gonna go
finish up work on, uh,
344
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,310
my discussion
questions, OK?
345
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,650
All right.
I'll see you upstairs.
346
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:46,860
OK.
347
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,120
I am so screwed!
348
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,330
That whole
book business again?
349
00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:57,740
Yeah, the class
is tomorrow.
350
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,370
I'm on page 2.
351
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:03,290
I can't even say
I have a firm grasp
of page one.
352
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,460
Why don't you
just tell Carrie
353
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,130
you didn't read
the book?
354
00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:08,300
What's she gonna do,
hold you back a year?
355
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:10,420
She'll hate me,
that's what.
356
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,340
Hey, fellows.
Game still on?
357
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,640
Yeah, it's
third quarter.
358
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,140
Ooh-hoo hoo.
359
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:19,270
MALE ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
Ball on the Jets' 22-yard line.
360
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:21,270
[WHISTLE BLOWS ON TV]
361
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,730
It's a big couch.
362
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:26,610
Excuse me.
363
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,440
Spence, you, uh,
finish the book yet?
364
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,070
Oh, yeah. Well,
it was my third time,
365
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:36,530
but I still got
a little teary at the end.
366
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,540
So, hey, uh,
maybe, uh--
367
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,500
Maybe you and I
could compare notes
368
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:45,330
on the discussion
questions. You
finish them yet?
369
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:48,380
Yeah, I got 14 pages
of grade-A observations
right here.
370
00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:50,050
All right.
Let me look.
371
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:52,630
Wait, you did
read the book, right?
372
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,510
Cha!
373
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,180
You lie so bad.
374
00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:58,390
All right,
I didn't read it,
375
00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,220
but let me
see them anyway.
Come on, man.
376
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,640
No! I'm not showing you
my answers.
377
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,810
I'm leaving.
378
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:05,770
I don't think so.
379
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:07,650
This--This is mature.
380
00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:09,520
Right back
in junior high.
381
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,110
What are you
gonna do, hold me down
and steal my homework?
382
00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:12,530
All I want
is the answers.
383
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:14,450
How I get them
is up to you.
384
00:17:14,490 --> 00:17:17,280
Ah. Different time,
different place, Doug.
385
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,910
You can't intimidate
this guy anymore.
386
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,580
Aah!
387
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,420
SPENCE: This shouldn't
be happening!
388
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:31,050
We're in our thirties!
389
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:33,550
It's nothing personal.
I don't even enjoy
this anymore.
390
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:35,180
SPENCE:
Help, Richie!
391
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,760
Moose, get
his lunch money.
392
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,230
OK, on to the next
discussion question.
393
00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:49,060
Yes. The symbolism
of the old chestnut tree
394
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,900
shattered by lightning.
395
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,150
Any thoughts?
396
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:53,820
Rest room key
is hanging on the wall.
397
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:57,160
Uh, no, I'd like
to take a shot
at the question.
398
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,740
Sure. What the hell?
399
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:01,620
Well, it seemed to me
that the shattered
chestnut tree
400
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:05,160
symbolized
that the love between
Jane and Rochester
401
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,750
was about to become
cruelly shattered,
402
00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:09,130
and, uh...
403
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,500
although this wasn't
part of the question,
404
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:14,010
I also feel the red moon
and the raging wind
405
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:17,470
were ominous precursors
as well.
406
00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:21,640
That is shockingly coherent.
407
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:24,720
Thank you.
408
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,560
Well, that brings us
to our next question,
409
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:30,400
which is, why did Bronte
choose to tell the story
410
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,940
from Jane's point of view
rather than Rochester's?
411
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,110
Yes.
412
00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:36,070
I think it gave her
a chance to be, um,
413
00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:37,450
a little
autobiographical,
414
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:38,950
to put her own
experiences in it.
415
00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:40,120
Mm-hmm.
That's interesting.
416
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,580
Interesting,
though a bit simplistic.
417
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:44,160
Uh, in point of fact,
418
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,710
Bronte led
a very clustered life.
419
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:48,500
Cloistered.
420
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:50,580
C-cloistered life,
421
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,290
and the sensual character
of Jane Eyre
422
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,720
was probably something
of a liberation for her.
423
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,510
Doug, I've got to say
I'm--I'm very impressed.
424
00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:03,010
Have you studied
Victorian literature before?
425
00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:04,220
No, no, not really.
426
00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:07,060
Just-- I guess it's my...
milieu.
427
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:13,820
CARRIE: Doug.
428
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,610
Yeah.
429
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:18,280
I think I agree with you
with what you said in class.
430
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,570
About?
431
00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:21,410
About Jane
leaving Thornfield.
432
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:24,780
I really think
it is her symbolic
loss of virginity.
433
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,700
Just one delivery man's
opinion.
434
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,210
Let me ask you
a question.
435
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:30,500
What'd you think
about Jane's parakeet?
436
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:32,210
What do you think
that represented?
437
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,170
The parakeet?
Yeah.
438
00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:35,750
Hmm...
439
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,960
Well, it
certainly gave her
someone to talk to.
440
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,300
Hmm...
441
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:41,680
And beyond that,
I think the bird...
442
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:45,260
what, with
its droppings...
443
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,930
symbolized how
crappy life can be.
444
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,230
There's no parakeet,
is there?
445
00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:57,860
Doug, I know you
beat up Spence
for his homework.
446
00:19:57,900 --> 00:20:00,030
He told you?!
447
00:20:00,070 --> 00:20:02,740
He is so dead.
448
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:06,490
No, he did not tell me.
His mother called.
449
00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:10,330
I was so close.
450
00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:12,120
Please, you were not
so close.
451
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,210
It was so obvious in class
that you were faking.
452
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:17,380
I mean, I'm just
surprised you didn't wear
a monocle and a cape.
453
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:20,340
I-I'm sorry.
454
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:21,630
I don't understand this.
455
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,300
You sat next to me,
night after night,
456
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:26,050
turning pages, nodding,
457
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,140
highlighting with your
little stupid yellow marker.
458
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:31,100
What the hell
were you doing?!
459
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,100
Mostly planning
my meals.
460
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,190
And I also came up
with an idea for
a new board game.
461
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:40,570
Car, I tried.
I really did try.
462
00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:42,150
It was
just too much.
463
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,820
Doug, it's a book.
464
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:47,080
You
canread,
can't you?
465
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,910
Not when people
are making me.
466
00:20:48,950 --> 00:20:50,250
That's why I did
lousy in school--
467
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,250
all the pressure
from the nuns--
468
00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:53,080
Read this.
Read that.
469
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,250
Show your work.
470
00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:57,130
At least I pretended
to read for you.
471
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,000
That's true.
472
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:02,420
I mean, I--I stared
at a book for 2 weeks
473
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,680
'cause I--I love you.
474
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,260
Not many husbands
would do that.
475
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:08,350
You're right.
476
00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:11,060
Only the disturbed
ones would.
477
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:12,100
[CHUCKLES]
478
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,270
But you're right.
479
00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:15,600
Maybe this class thing
is just...
480
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,860
not for us right now.
481
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,480
I mean, maybe I
overreached a little bit.
482
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,070
Maybe we should
just start smaller.
483
00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:22,690
Yeah, like maybe
we should do the
word jumble together.
484
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:25,280
And not turn it upside down
for the answers,
485
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:26,700
no matter what.
486
00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:28,370
Yeah!
487
00:21:28,410 --> 00:21:30,120
All right, come on.
Come cuddle with Mama.
488
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,540
OK.
489
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:35,040
Mmmmm.
490
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,250
Just hold on.
491
00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:38,920
Hey, you want to hear
about my new board game?
492
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,130
Mm-hmm.
493
00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:41,460
It's called Shominy...
494
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,470
and, uh, it's for
ages 6 and up...
495
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:46,260
Mm-hmm.
496
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:49,050
That's all I got so far.
497
00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:58,560
Me and the jiggy
gettin' missus--
498
00:22:06,570 --> 00:22:08,660
But you kept that goin' too!
That is so funny.
I know.
499
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:11,280
MALE DIRECTOR: Same thing.
Why, did I screw up?
500
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,460
[**]
34863
