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1
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:04,040
[**]
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,050
Morning, Dad.
3
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:11,630
Morning.
Guess what I made.
4
00:00:11,670 --> 00:00:13,010
Like old times, huh?
5
00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:14,720
You, me, toast.
6
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,970
Yeah. We were
inseparable.
7
00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:20,180
So, darling,
you wait here.
8
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,520
I'll go butter this up
for you real nice.
9
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:24,060
Gimme 15 minutes.
10
00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:27,980
I'm sorry, Dad.
I cannot be late
for work.
11
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:29,230
I'm new there,
remember?
12
00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:33,570
Oh, Miss Big-deal
Legal Secretary.
13
00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:35,110
Works in Manhattan now.
14
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,320
You know what toast costs
over there now? $10!
15
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,700
And if you don't tip,
they spit in it.
16
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:43,040
Then I'll tip.
17
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,830
I'm just gonna
have some coffee.
18
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,000
Hey, slugger,
check it out.
19
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,000
What's that?
20
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,380
It's your new mitt.
21
00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:49,960
I broke it in
for the softball game
tonight.
22
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,380
Actually, it happened
by accident.
23
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:54,630
I, uh, fell asleep on it.
24
00:00:54,670 --> 00:00:57,140
Honey,
you're gonna kill me.
I can't make it.
25
00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:58,970
My boss has a really
big trial coming up,
26
00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:00,390
and he wants me
to stay late tonight.
27
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:01,770
No, no. We need you
at the game! Come on!
28
00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:04,060
None of the guys
can curse as good as you.
29
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:06,230
Honey, I know.
30
00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:08,230
But I will be
at next week's game
31
00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:09,980
with a lot of new
mother references--
32
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:11,940
really hurtful,
uncalled-for stuff.
33
00:01:11,980 --> 00:01:12,940
All right?
34
00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:13,940
OK.
35
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,740
All right. All right.
36
00:01:15,780 --> 00:01:16,740
Bye, Daddy.
37
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:18,280
Dad?
38
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,620
Oh, sorry.
I was just remembering
a little girl
39
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:23,450
with pigtails
and braces on her teeth
telling me,
40
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,250
[LISPING] "I made
the bestest toast ever."
41
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:26,670
All right. Just gimme
the freakin' toast, OK?
42
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:28,630
Thank you. Bye.
43
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,880
[**]
44
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,600
Deac, will you forget
about it? It's over.
45
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,310
Man, I thought that
if there was one team
46
00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:49,520
we'd beat this year,
it would be Crabtree & Evelyn.
47
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,820
Well, this guy didn't
help matters much.
48
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:55,400
Ah, hey, what--what
do you guys want from me?
49
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,530
You know, I'm allergic
to dirt, grass, bases,
and Gatorade.
50
00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:01,990
You guys are lucky
I'm alive.
51
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:05,580
Look, look, let's just
all agree we all sucked tonight.
52
00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:06,580
Hey, I'm in.
53
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,830
Yeah. We'll kick
some ass next week.
54
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:10,580
Who are we playin', Moose?
55
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,540
Uh...Ooh.
56
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,130
City Tech.
57
00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:15,130
Who's that?
58
00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:16,800
Female security guards.
59
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:24,010
Hey, Doug, some guy
in a really nice car just
pulled into your driveway.
60
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,680
Yeah. It's called a u-turn.
61
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,850
No, I don't think so.
Your wife's getting out.
62
00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:29,310
Really?
63
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,980
Oh, that's a Jaguar
she's stepping out of,
my friend.
64
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:34,230
XJ8--top of the line.
65
00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:36,480
SPENCE: Yeah, I test-drove
one of those babies.
66
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:39,740
And yet you went
with the '82 Corolla.
67
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,030
Hey, Doug, it's pretty
damn nice of you
68
00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:44,530
lettin' Carrie date
other guys and all.
69
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:46,540
Yeah, you're very funny,
very funny.
70
00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:50,540
All right, come on.
Back to your assigned seats.
Let's go.
71
00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:53,380
Girl in the clubhouse.
72
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,210
You guys had
your cootie shots?
73
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,420
ALL: Hi, Carrie.
74
00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:57,510
Hi. How was the game?
75
00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:58,970
Everyone sucked,
not just me.
76
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:00,590
Good for you, Spence.
77
00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:02,890
So did ya, did ya
have a good day?
78
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:04,890
Honey, great day.
79
00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:09,390
What, did ya get some
kind of a lift home
or something?
80
00:03:09,430 --> 00:03:10,890
Yeah, from Evan, my boss.
81
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,190
In a Jaguar.
82
00:03:12,230 --> 00:03:15,230
Honey, you should
get me one of those.
83
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:17,780
I'll see you upstairs.
Bye, guys.
84
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,150
See you later,
Carrie.
85
00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:20,700
[DOOR CLOSES]
86
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:28,040
Well, sounds like she's
got a nice boss, ya know?
87
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,830
[CLEARING THROAT]
That's a good thing,
'cause, uh,
88
00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:34,710
a lot of bosses
are not nice, ya know?
89
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:37,300
A lot of not-nice bosses
out there, and...
90
00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:39,420
I say, given the choice
between not-nice, nice,
91
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:40,760
it's always better--
92
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,840
Stop the staring!
93
00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:51,230
Hey.
Hey, honey, help me out.
94
00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,390
I have to be in court
with Evan tomorrow.
95
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,850
What do you think--
this or this?
96
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:56,560
I like 'em both.
97
00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:59,570
Ah! They both suck!
98
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:01,360
Honey, the women
in Manhattan,
they dress so nice,
99
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,780
I look like
I'm from Arkansas.
100
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,490
Oh! Guess what?
101
00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:08,490
There's this really
famous cello player
from China,
102
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,160
Li Fong something.
103
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,660
Anyway, he's doing
a big concert next week
in the city,
104
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,210
and the firm got
all these tickets,
105
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:17,460
and Evan gave his to me!
106
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,090
So if you play
your cards right,
107
00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:20,300
I'll let you go with me.
108
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:22,670
There's always room
for cello. Hah!
109
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,100
You call him Evan, huh?
110
00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,180
Huh?
111
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,350
Your boss, you just
call him Evan?
112
00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:32,060
Well, that's his name.
113
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:35,650
No, no. I know. I mean,
it's just that my boss,
114
00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:39,980
been there 6 years,
and it's still
Supervisor O'Boyle.
115
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,610
Uh-huh...
116
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:46,200
So you just
walk around all day
calling each other Evan.
117
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,490
Well, he doesn't
call me Evan.
118
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,660
We'd get a little
confused.
119
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,660
I know, I know.
I just--you know.
120
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:53,660
He sounds like
a great guy, right?
121
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,170
I mean, partner
in a big New York law firm,
122
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:58,210
giving his secretary
free tickets,
123
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:02,550
driving her all the way
home to Queens
in his fancy Jaguar.
124
00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:04,550
You don't see
a lot of that.
125
00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:06,510
Honey, if he didn't
drive me home,
126
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:09,720
how else would
we have sex in his car?
127
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,560
That's not funny.
128
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,690
Come on!
You're being stupid.
129
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:19,690
He's just being
a nice guy.
130
00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:22,480
Oh, so he's just
being nice, then.
131
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,150
Did he, uh,
give the cleaning guy
a ride home, too?
132
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,700
No.
133
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:29,120
No! So, now, is he
nice or not nice?
134
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,410
I'm a little
confused here.
135
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:34,580
He lives on the Island.
We're on his way.
136
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:36,160
What, you don't trust me?
137
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,620
Of course I trust you.
138
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,380
It's just
you don't really
know this Evan guy
139
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,590
or how he "operates."
140
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,590
Oh, Mrs. Heffernan,
can you work late
141
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:46,050
with me tonight
on this big legal case?
142
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:48,890
Oops! I spilled Liquid Paper
all over your blouse.
143
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:51,970
Why don't ya shimmy it off
and I'll...
144
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:53,600
wash it?
145
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,480
That's a really lame fantasy.
146
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,730
You gotta start watching
more porno.
147
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:04,110
You know what I mean.
148
00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:06,570
Well, come on, honey.
He's just being a nice guy.
149
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:09,070
Now, listen, I have
a really great job,
150
00:06:09,110 --> 00:06:10,320
and it's going well.
151
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,780
I want you to be happy
for me, all right?
152
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,830
All right.
You know, I'm sorry.
153
00:06:14,870 --> 00:06:15,870
It's OK.
154
00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:17,080
It's all right.
155
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,330
I'm gonna go wash up.
156
00:06:18,370 --> 00:06:20,540
I'll meet you in bed,
OK, Evan? Oops!
157
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,470
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
158
00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:35,970
Uh, excuse me.
159
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,520
Could you--
160
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:42,440
Hey. Hi.
161
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,400
I'm trying to find
Carrie Heffernan?
162
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,280
Oh, she's in Mr. Lazar's
office.
163
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,700
I thought everyone
called him Evan.
164
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,170
Doug! Honey,
what are you doing here?
165
00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:07,340
I felt bad
about being such
an idiot last night,
166
00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:09,970
I thought I'd drive in
and see if you wanted
to go have some lunch.
167
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:13,800
Oh, my God.
That is so sweet.
Of course I do.
168
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,140
Oh, look, honey!
This is my desk.
169
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:17,890
Pretty swanky, huh?
170
00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:20,190
I like it. Look at this,
I even got you
something for it, huh?
171
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:23,940
Ohh. "World's
Greatest Golfer".
172
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:26,320
It's all they had
in the gift shop downstairs.
173
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,820
No, no, no.
It's good, it's good.
Now I have a goal, right?
174
00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:30,820
Honey, this is
so sweet of you.
175
00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:32,740
I'm just gonna
make a quick copy,
then we can go, all right?
176
00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:34,030
All right, yeah.
I'll grab the elevator.
177
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:35,530
OK, honey.
All right.
178
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,880
Hey.
179
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,640
Hello.
180
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,560
I, uh, couldn't help
noticing that woman
181
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,640
in there
in your office
with you.
182
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,270
She, uh,
she your assistant?
183
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:04,190
Uh, yes.
Yes, she is.
Yeah.
184
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:06,480
She's quite
a looker.
185
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,240
Heh heh.
I suppose. Yeah.
186
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,190
She married?
187
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,360
Uh, yes.
188
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,910
I hate that. Hate it.
189
00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:15,870
Ah, but you know what?
A guy like you,
190
00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:18,370
you probably don't
even worry about that
kind of thing, huh?
191
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,040
So what--what are
you getting at?
192
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,500
I'm just saying,
you know, working
with her every day,
193
00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:23,750
you gotta be thinking
about a little...
194
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:26,540
[CLICK, HONK]
"Hello, Montana!"
195
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:27,540
Yeah!
196
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,550
Now--now--now,
listen--
197
00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:29,710
No, come on.
Truth, now.
198
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,010
You gonna--
you gonna go for it?
199
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:33,050
You--you gonna go
for it, my man?!
Come on!
200
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:35,090
All right, now,
that is enough!
201
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,890
That woman is a fine employee
and a good person.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
202
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,220
She deserves better than
to be objectified
and leered at
203
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,270
by someone like you.
204
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:46,350
I just wish
her husband was here
to punch your face in.
205
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,280
[SPORTING EVENT ON TV]
206
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,080
Moose.
207
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,370
Moose.
208
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,960
Hmm?
209
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,250
I'm hungry.
210
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,340
What am I,
your mother?
211
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:10,590
Go inside
and make a sandwich.
212
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:12,210
It's too far.
213
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:17,140
I wish the TV
were made of cheese.
214
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,180
You know,
that's actually possible.
215
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:21,640
Get outta here.
It is.
216
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,270
I mean, you couldn't make it
out of brie.
217
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:25,480
[CHUCKLES]
218
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,400
But like a harder cheese,
like a Stilton
219
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,360
or an aged gorgonzola,
absolutely.
220
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,450
Could you make a VCR
out of crackers?
221
00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:36,910
For God's sake.
222
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,370
You're missing the point.
If you went to the trouble
223
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:39,870
of making a TV out of cheese,
224
00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,530
you'd have to make a commitment
not to eat it.
225
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,870
Then why would you
make it out of cheese
in the first place?
226
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,750
I can't talk to you.
227
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:51,250
What do you think, Deac?
228
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:52,300
I think...
229
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:53,510
why am I here
230
00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,630
instead of with my wife
and child?
231
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,800
[CAR APPROACHING]
232
00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,180
And here comes
the Jag,
233
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:00,760
right
on schedule.
234
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,930
Oh, looks
like Evan
got it detailed.
235
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,770
All right.
Come on, guys.
236
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:06,430
Did he get
a haircut?
237
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,440
I like it.
238
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,060
I'm not sure.
239
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,810
I think he just
put somethin' in it.
240
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,270
I think he's using
mousse, Moose.
241
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,030
All right,
you know what?
It's agreed.
242
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:15,400
He's got
a beautiful car
243
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,610
and a fine head of hair,
all right?
244
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,240
Get away from the window,
will you?
245
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,620
Why do you have
to spoil the one new
thing in our life?
246
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:22,780
Yeah, man.
247
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,080
You been
in a funky mood
all night.
248
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,700
Look, if you're
still worried
249
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,330
about Carrie and
her boss, just talk
to her about it.
250
00:10:27,370 --> 00:10:29,040
I'm not worried
about that.
251
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,960
I met Evan today,
and trust me, he's fine.
252
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,040
How do you know?
I know!
253
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,460
I practically begged him
to have sex with her,
254
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,630
and nothin'.
255
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,010
So then what are you
all wound up about?
256
00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:41,180
I don't know!
I don't know!
257
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,510
Hey, guys.
Hey.
258
00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:43,760
Hi.
259
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:44,970
Honey, don't forget.
260
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,850
Cello concert
tomorrow night.
You excited?
261
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:48,180
I am. Whoo-hoo!
262
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,230
All right.
I'll see you upstairs.
263
00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:51,190
I love you.
264
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,230
Bye, guys.
OK. Bye-bye.
265
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,400
What is wrong
with me?!
266
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:55,860
I should be happy,
you know?
267
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:57,740
I mean, Carrie's
got a great new job.
268
00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,200
Her boss is not
hitting on her.
269
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,660
Still, there's something
that's bothering me,
270
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,870
and I can't figure out
what it is.
271
00:11:03,910 --> 00:11:05,950
Perhaps it's this--
[CLEARING THROAT]
272
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:08,200
Perhaps you wish
that your original
suspicions
273
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,960
had been confirmed.
274
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,380
Now, if this Evan guy
was just some creep
hitting on your wife,
275
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:14,710
you could have done
something about that,
276
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,630
but now,
what you're faced with
277
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,880
is a more complex
problem.
278
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,380
You're realizing
that Carrie is immersed
279
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:24,800
in a seductive world
full of bright,
dynamic people,
280
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,350
a world you can't
possibly compete with...
281
00:11:28,390 --> 00:11:32,900
andthatfrightens
the hell out of you.
282
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,730
Yeah, that's it.
283
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,360
CARRIE:Li Fong...
284
00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:46,410
ex-I-ohh...wah.
285
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,160
Honey, honey.
286
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,370
How do you pronounce
X-I-A-U-A?
287
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:52,830
What are you doing?
288
00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:54,380
I'm trying to figure out
how to say this guy's name,
289
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:56,840
so I don't look like such
a mook at the concert, you know.
290
00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,550
[GRUFF VOICE] Hey, this guy has
a cello. He's pretty good, eh?
You know?
291
00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:05,140
Before you hurt yourself there,
uh, I wanted to talk to you
about that.
292
00:12:05,180 --> 00:12:07,810
I'm thinking, you know,
maybe we...
[CLEARING THROAT]
293
00:12:07,850 --> 00:12:11,060
maybe we need
to take a pass
on this cello thing.
294
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:11,850
What?
295
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,310
What are you
talking about?
296
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:14,730
Well, for starters,
we'll be missing
a softball game.
297
00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:16,150
So, it's one game, hon.
298
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:18,070
Plus, the one
you already missed.
299
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:20,190
People on the team,
they're starting to grumble.
300
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,900
There was a whole lot
of internal politics
301
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,780
I've been shielding you from.
302
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,160
All right, honey.
What is your problem?
303
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,740
Are you still on
the Evan thing?
304
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,250
No. It's not about Evan.
305
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,160
It's...it's about you,
you know?
306
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,750
Ever since you got
this new job,
307
00:12:33,790 --> 00:12:34,920
I think it's gone
to your head a little bit.
308
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,750
What? Shut up.
309
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,090
Come on, think about it.
310
00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:39,670
First you don't wanna eat
your father's toast.
311
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:41,460
[GRUNTS]
312
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:42,720
Right?
313
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,090
Then your clothes aren't
good enough for you.
314
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,760
Now it's this weird
obsession with cello.
315
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,260
I mean, what's next?
316
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,470
Bottled water? Tea?
317
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,730
You know what, honey?
318
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,770
You gotta spend less time
in the garage.
319
00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:55,600
Between the fumes
and those friends of yours,
320
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:58,110
you're losing brain cells.
321
00:12:58,150 --> 00:12:59,480
Come on, Carrie,
we both know
what this is about.
322
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:00,610
You're trying
to impress
323
00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:01,990
your little fancy
friends at work.
324
00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:03,900
Ooh, I saw a guy
play the cello.
325
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,410
Accept me
as one of your own.
326
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,620
Maybe I like listening
to cello music, all right?
327
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,040
You ever think of that?
328
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,960
Yeah, yeah. OK.
What's your favorite
cello song?
329
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,420
Um, let me think.
330
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:18,040
How about "Bite Me"?
331
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,880
That is so
not a song.
332
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,840
You are being
such an idiot.
333
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,630
At least I'm an idiot
who fulfills
his commitment
334
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:25,930
to the Queens County
level "C"
335
00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:28,050
co-ed slow-pitch
softball league.
336
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:29,510
Now we're playing
softball tomorrow night.
337
00:13:29,550 --> 00:13:32,270
No.Youwill be
playing softball tomorrow.
338
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:33,980
I will be doing
something I enjoy,
339
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:35,270
which is listening
to the music
340
00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:37,270
of the world's
greatest cellist--
341
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:42,360
Li Fong...Ex-ai-ueng--
I don't know!
342
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,610
Yeah? Well...
343
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:47,030
s-say it,
don't spray it.
344
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,340
How you doin'?
345
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,180
What's that
you're wearing?
346
00:14:08,220 --> 00:14:10,510
Hmm? Oh.
347
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,600
Softball uniform.
348
00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:16,390
Just...more comfortable?
349
00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:19,230
I'm playing softball.
350
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:21,900
Oh. That worked out
well.
351
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:24,110
Where's Carrie?
352
00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:26,990
She, uh, she went
to a cello concert.
353
00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:28,990
Oh. Fan-cee!
354
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,870
Listen, Arthur,
can I ask you a question?
355
00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:36,330
Sure.
356
00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:37,870
Now be honest.
357
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,870
When I first
married Carrie,
358
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,380
was there
a small part of you
359
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:44,750
that felt that maybe...
I don't know,
360
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,050
that I wasn't
good enough for her?
361
00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,090
Hey. It was
a wedding.
362
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:50,550
I'd had
a few drinks.
363
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,100
When I said
those things,
364
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,890
I had no idea
I was speaking
to your mother.
365
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:54,970
No, I know. Just--
366
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,060
She was nodding,
367
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:57,390
agreeing with me,
for God sakes.
368
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,640
How could I know?
369
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,820
Arthur, I-I'm just...
I'm ju--
370
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:05,610
Really? My mother?
371
00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:06,990
Yeah. I'm pretty sure.
372
00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:09,450
Bosomy woman, right?
373
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:18,120
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
374
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,550
[WHISPERING]
Excuse me. I gotta
get down there.
375
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:46,860
Hi.
376
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:48,360
What are you
doing here?
377
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,150
Carrie, listen, I've been
doing a lot of thinking.
378
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,780
And you know what?
379
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,030
If there's something
you wanna try,
380
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:55,240
I'm with you.
381
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,490
Really? You really
mean that?
382
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:57,830
I do. I do.
If we like it,
we like it.
383
00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:00,000
If we don't,
we don't.
384
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,250
I'm betting we will.
385
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,500
Well, OK.
386
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:07,750
Thank you.
387
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,630
Oh, here we go.
388
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:20,270
[SOLO CELLO PLAYING]
389
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,570
Should I get the car?
390
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,780
No.
391
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,500
Shh.
392
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,790
If we leave now,
393
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:44,040
we can still make it
by the third inning.
Come on.
394
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,130
Doug, I don't
wanna leave. Shh.
395
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:49,500
Come on. You can't
possibly be liking this.
396
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,630
Shh!
397
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:53,550
[MOUTHING ONLY]
398
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,510
[ALSO MOUTHING]
399
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,430
[CELLO SOLOIST CONTINUING]
400
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,330
[MUSIC ENDS]
401
00:19:29,790 --> 00:19:32,380
MAN: Encore! Encore!
402
00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:45,760
Doug, are you coming
or what?
403
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,560
I don't wanna come.
404
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:51,350
I wanna sit here and keep
thinking about what
an idiot I've been.
405
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:53,150
Well, then, I'd give you
another few hours,
406
00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:56,520
but they're closing
the parking garage.
407
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,990
So what happened
to you tonight, Doug?
408
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:02,490
What made you
lose your mind?
409
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:06,200
You've been so
wrapped up in this
new job of yours,
410
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,870
with a great new boss
411
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:09,040
and these great people
412
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,830
and all this culture
stuff...
413
00:20:11,870 --> 00:20:13,040
I just got to wondering
414
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,500
why you'd ever want
to come home to...me.
415
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:18,550
Hmm.
416
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:19,880
What?
417
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,340
Well, it's just,
you know,
418
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,760
you make a good point.
419
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,260
Well, thanks.
420
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,510
Well, what the hell
is wrong with you?
421
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,390
You think because I take a job
on the other side of the river,
422
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,890
I go to a freakin'
cello concert,
423
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,650
I'm not gonna want to be
married to you anymore?
424
00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:37,070
No. No, it goes back
further than that.
425
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,570
At our wedding,
when the priest said,
426
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,490
"Do you take this man
to be your lawful
wedded husband,"
427
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:42,820
and you said, "Yes,"
428
00:20:42,860 --> 00:20:45,660
I gotta be honest,
I thought you settled.
429
00:20:46,450 --> 00:20:48,030
Oy.This is ridiculous.
430
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,290
It's not ridiculous.
In case you haven't
noticed here, Carr,
431
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:51,450
there's a little bit
of difference, huh?
432
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,960
You, smart and sexy.
433
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Me...not that smart.
434
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,630
Notthatsexy.
435
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:01,010
Well, if you're
so undesirable,
436
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:03,260
how come
I think about you
437
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,720
in the middle
of a meeting at work?
438
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,100
And how come you still
make me laugh...
439
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:11,770
after you tell the same dumb
joke for the third time?
440
00:21:11,810 --> 00:21:15,230
And how come I can't sleep
until I know you're lying
next to me?
441
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:17,940
Really? You can't?
442
00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:19,770
No.
443
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,780
Then why do you scream
when I touch you?
444
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:26,820
'Cause I'm sleeping,
I'm startled.
445
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,580
I love you.
446
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:32,950
I love you, too.
447
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:37,040
So what'd you think
of the concert?
448
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,460
I liked it.
449
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:39,880
Get outta here,
you did not.
450
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,050
I did too. It was long,
but it was good.
451
00:21:43,090 --> 00:21:45,470
It was long.
452
00:21:45,510 --> 00:21:48,050
God, it was long.
453
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:54,350
Hey, Bernstein!
454
00:21:54,390 --> 00:21:56,520
Your mother's a...
[BEEP BEEP BEEP]!
455
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,150
She likes to...
[BEEP BEEP BEEP]
for $2.00!
456
00:21:59,190 --> 00:22:03,400
And you pitch like you got a...
[BEEP BEEP]
up your [BEEP BEEP]!
457
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,740
I love you.
458
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:16,460
[**]
32319
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